If there's one show I have always rolled my eyes at, it's Dancing With The Stars. I mean, come on, right? It's a bunch of third or fourth rate stars doing ballroom dance? I understand why this kind of thing might be popular in Europe, but this is the USA! If someone isn't being humiliated in a horrifying way, IT ISN'T REAL REALITY TELEVISION. So I don't know why I watched the first episode of this season (16!) of Dancing With The Stars, but it probably had something to do with my fragile emotional state after I backslide with The Bachelor Season 17. I guess I saw that the blond, over-earnest Bachelor, Sean Lowe, was a contestant and, like any addict, I wanted just ONE MORE HIT of that adorable magic. So, I clicked play on HuluPlus. And now I can't stop. It is crazy positive; it features men showing real vulnerability, pop music and professional dancing, which is actually really fun to watch so I guess my grandma and my mom were right. And then, there are the celebrities, who it turns out are kinda great. Here's why:
Okay, this girl is 16. WHO IS 16?! She's been a Disney star since 2009, which doesn't bode well for her future but does explain her ridiculous confidence. And I can't help but pull for this little life-winner. Stay off the sauce, girl! Say no to drugs! Also, please don't be boning your pro, Val Chmerkovskiy (you guys have a SUSPICIOUS amount of love for each other). That can kind of entanglement can lead to serious emotional issues, which will lead to everything I just told you to stay away from. As long as Zendaya can be more Miley and less Lindsay, she could win this thing. Just watch. She's an AMAZING dancer. She's one of those people who you watch and just think, yeah, that's her thing.
Watching Jacoby, a Super Bowl football star, drop his cool guy facade is pretty fun. I mean, there's nothing in this country more emblematic of super successful manhood than being a football player on a team that wins the Superbowl, but when he talks about not having a father and then he does a little solo dance for his adorable little boy, it's just...THIS IS GOOD FOR AMERICA, guys.