A few weeks ago there was a fake press release burning through the internet stating that Banksy, the famously anonymous British street artist, had been arrested by London police and his identity had been revealed. I totally fell for it! I clicked! I hecka wanted to know who Banksy was! I mean, in a world where people like Kim Kardashian will exploit their own exploitation to add stacks to their already bloated accounts, it's refreshing and a little incredulous that someone who can do AMAZING THINGS would not want anyone to know who they were. Of course, Banksy does things that are illegal, so that's high motivation for anonymity, but bank and marriage fraud are also illegal and at least in America, people do those things publicly all the time without consequence. Anywho, I am intrigued as to Banksy's identity, and I have a few educated guesses as to who this person might be.
1. George Walker Bush
If you have a Facebook account, you may know about the leaked Bush self-portraits hacked by someone named Guccifer (who I want to claim for team queer because - Guccifer?!). Here they are:
I know what you're thinking: Banksy is a talented artist who is politically against pretty much everything GWB stood for. I don't think the same person who paints incredibly well-rendered life-like images painted those scapula-lungs in the shower canvas. But I say, PERFECT COVER. You know how Banksy (allegedly?) created Mr. Brainwash and thereby his art as cultural commentary? Maybe GWB's entire presidency was performance art by Banksy and these bathing-time self portraits are an exploration of what a man like that would paint. Except no. Because the effects of the GWB presidency on the people of the world are something no one would allow for the sake of art... but then, there was that whole Salvador Dalí/Franco thing, so who knows? Still, if we're gonna go with far-right conservatism as performance art, a more likely candidate is...
2. Ann Coulter