When it comes to theme parks, nobody does it better than America. You've got your Disneys, and your Universal Studios, and even your Knott's Berry Farms. But where American leisure truly distinguishes itself is with the more specialized parks. Think Paul Bunyan Land. Or perhaps The Holy Land Experience, a large-scale shrine to Jesus. Then there's Dollywood, a park that combines the thrills of Six Flags with the aesthetics of an Appalachian coal mine. And soon—later this year in fact—we've got a shiny new kid on the block in the form of Tyra Banks' Modelland.
Banks has been working on the 21,000-square-foot Santa Monica attraction for a decade and is finally on the verge of unveiling it. "I’m… giving people the opportunity to engage with the elusive [modeling] world by opening it up to everyone," Tyra told WWD. "Men, women, families, all generations can come and enter this model world for a day, have a fun shopping experience, and an eventful meal... There is a storyline I have been working on for a year."
One can only hope that story has something (everything?) to do with Tyra's 2011 novel, also named Modelland. To give you some idea of why a theme park based on this book would be so amazing, first I need to give you a quick plot synopsis. (And by quick, I mean as short as I could possibly make it because this book is bigger than the bible.)
Modelland centers around a girl named Tookie de la Creme, who is the daughter of a one-eyed acrobat named Chris de la Creme and his vain wife, Cremalatta Defacake. (DEFACAKE!) Tookie also has a multi-pageant-winning sister named Myrracle. Myrracle is kind of a B.
One day, during The Day of Discovery (don't ask), Tookie is given a pass to Modelland by a Scout, where she and other models go in search of their smizes and get told by a magic statue that they’ll never have periods again. There are also “7seven Intoxibellas" there, who are called things like Larcenina, Shiraz and Evanjalinda.