Marilyn Englander: Believe That People Are Good

Marilyn Englander’s faith in humanity was shaken when she was hit by a car door while riding her bike.

Riding my bike last fall, I suddenly got “doored”–slammed to the ground when a guy opened his car door into me. The assault was violent, and I fell crumpled in the road. The driver ran over to me, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you!”

Painfully I crawled to my feet, staggered to the curb. My helmet and bike were smashed. Trembling with adrenaline and anger, I sobbed, “How could you miss me—wearing day-glo with 3 strobe lights?”

He just hadn’t looked. He apologized, promised to pay for damages. He seemed contrite, and genuine.

Still shaking, I limped home pushing my wrecked bike.

Nightmares followed, but I healed. I texted him that I’d get repair estimates. He wrote “OK,” and I trusted him. But that was the beginning of a depressing 8-month saga.

My bike went to the shop, I paid for a new helmet. I texted the bills to him. No response. I texted again, called him. Silence. Hope fading, I sent him the police report and registered letters. Nothing.

Anger and doubt built. He’d admitted fault, he’d promised to make things right! But he’d lied!

Half a year went by, and friends urged me to file a suit. After 8 months, demoralized, I sent him a deadline—or I was going to sue.

But it felt awful to abandon all faith in people’s goodness. Why not tell him that I felt betrayed, ask him why he’d broken his word?
So I texted, “Why are you silent? Are you OK?”

To my astonishment, he texted right back: “I’m so sorry! It’s been rough. After the accident, I lost my dad, then my home and my job. But finally, I’m okay. Send me your Venmo. I’ll pay you today.”

I did—and he did.

Reaching past anger to compassion, I’d discovered a fragile human. I’d assumed silence meant bad will, but it was pain. A simple “Are you okay?” and faith was restored.

People are basically good after all.

With a Perspective, I’m Marilyn Englander.

Marilyn Englander is a North Bay educator.