Emily Calix: Homelessness

When you’ve never known homelessness, you might not be able to empathize with the experience. Emily Calix tells us her story.

There are many people, especially in San Francisco, who look at an unhoused person sleeping on the street and are disgusted. They go off, make a frustrated post on social media and just continue on with their day.

What should actually disgust all of us is how a person could be so low and no one is there to help.

That’s what happened to me. The 2008 recession took our home and it also took my mom’s sense of pride. My family needed help, and everyone in our lives turned away from us.

The only place that took us in was a homeless shelter in San Francisco. It provided a safe space for my little brother and I while my mom looked for a job.

I am extremely grateful for the shelter … and the people who worked there. Not only did they give us a place to eat and sleep, they also made sure we got the same opportunities as other kids. My brother was in karate for a few years and I took piano lessons. They would even give us Christmas presents for a few years after we left the shelter. Everyone there did what they could to make us feel “normal”, to make us feel like money wasn’t going to be the reason we couldn’t have the same opportunities as everyone else.

But my mom still feels guilt and shame we were in that situation. She says that was her lowest point in life. She felt there was no escape, and the only way out was to kill her own children … and herself. Instead, she cried herself to sleep that night. The next morning she got a call for a job opportunity. That job got us out of there.

From the moment we got to the shelter, my mom has asked me to not talk about it, since she knows how other people would perceive us. The mind of 8-year-old me couldn’t fully comprehend that sort of feeling. As an adult, I understand it better. I understand why she would feel that way, but I don’t agree with her.

People don’t empathize with unhoused people because they don’t see themselves ending up like that. The reality is anyone could end up like we did.

While I know my mom wouldn’t want me to tell our story, I know the significance of it, the value of it.

With a Perspective, I’m Emily Calix.

Emily Calix is a reporter and an intern with KQED News.