A Marin School Board Questioned the Term ‘Toxic Masculinity.’ Then Came the Backlash

Mark Koerner just learned the tough lesson that questioning the term “toxic masculinity” in a liberal school district can spur a reaction that might come across as, well, a bit toxic.

“It was pretty confrontational towards me. You can call it toxic. You can call it whatever you want,” said Koerner, vice president of the San Rafael City Schools’ Board of Education, a day after a throng of district parents vociferously panned his resolution during a school board meeting.

“Offensive,” “embarrassing,” ridiculous,” “tone deaf,” “insensitive at best.” Those were just some of the jabs in the nearly hourlong fusillade of admonishments, mostly from district moms, of Koerner and his ill-fated resolution.

The measure in question, titled “Recognition of the Essential Role and Needs of Young Men in Society,” sought to officially “recognize and support the needs of young men, promoting their mental, emotional, and physical health” and recognize that “the current emotional, educational, and financial state of young men is in critical condition.”

Most controversially, it also criticized the use of the term “toxic masculinity,” arguing it “does not reflect the vast majority of men and can detract from constructive dialogues,” while also saying “language that implies young men need to be ‘fixed’ by women undermines mutual respect and equality and is not conducive to constructive discourse on gender dynamics in our society.”

Koerner, a tech investor and father of two teenage boys, who was previously co-CEO of Dictionary.com, said he introduced the resolution to underscore “the need to recognize young men.”

It was was intended to highlight boys’ lower rates of academic achievement and higher rates of suicide and mental health issues, he said, noting that, on average, high school graduation rates for boys are, on average, lower than they are for girls and that boys are less likely to seek support for mental health issues.

“I don’t want to ban any words. People should be able to say whatever they want,” Koerner told KQED on Tuesday. “I was suggesting that maybe [a term like toxic masculinity] is something that when young men hear that, it triggers them … even if they don’t associate with that.”

He added, “I thought it was worth bringing up so that we would start to think about the problem.”

Suffice it to say, Koerner’s effort didn’t land well. The timing of its introduction — in the middle of Women’s History Month — also didn’t help his cause, prompting one commenter at the meeting to decry it as “a mockery” of the observance.

“That’s bad timing, obviously I could have been more thoughtful about that,” Koerner admitted.  “I can’t say anything more than that I missed that. … Six months ago would have been better.”

Well before the meeting, the cascade of condemnations came flooding in, so much so that Koerner pulled the resolution hours before the board’s scheduled vote — proposing instead to use the time to convey his intentions and hear people’s concerns.

And hear from them he did, with some two dozen parents waiting in line to air their grievances at a meeting that typically has just a handful of attendees, but on Monday drew closer to 100.

“I am so frustrated that this is how we’re spending our time at our school board meetings. This is embarrassing,” said Lindsey Holtaway, one of the many impassioned parents who spoke during the roughly 45-minute comment session.

Some parents hinted that Koerner should resign, while others suggested his resolution was another salvo in the culture wars fueled by the anti-woke rhetoric and policies of the Trump administration. One commenter specifically referenced recent remarks by Vice President J.D. Vance encouraging young men to embrace their masculinity.

“It just seemed more like a trickle-down Trumpism that’s probably infecting school boards all across the nation right now,” Olivia Vos, a mother with a second-grade student in the district and a 4-year-old son, told KRON4 before the meeting.

Koerner said he found that perceived connection “disappointing because I don’t see myself as that.”

“I’m sorry it upset them so much,” said Koerner, who joined the board last year. “My goals are not to be divisive.”

District Superintendent Carmen Diaz Ghysels, who led Monday’s meeting, declined KQED’s request for comment.

Early in Monday’s meeting, ​​Morgan Agnew, president of the San Rafael Federation of Teachers, set the tone by lambasting Koerner for allegedly introducing the resolution without consulting the district’s educators.

“We would have told you about the important programs we already have to support our male students: the Boys Group at Madrone, Dudes and Donuts, the Champion Men’s Zone, just to name a few,” he said. “Supporting young men and recognizing systemic gender inequalities are not mutually exclusive.”

For his part, Koerner still thinks many people agree with the sentiment of his resolution, if not the language, and he said he would gladly hand off the issue to someone else.

“I would be actually happy to step aside and maybe let one of our other trustees manage that or let the educators themselves come up with something if they want to,” he said, adding that he’d even consider resigning from the board if there was a big push to “get rid of me.”

“The goal is not to interject myself into it,” he said. “I’m not here to put my personal footprint on this or to be the person solving it.”