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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">In this digital age, kids are surrounded by messages about gender and sexuality. But are parents creating the space for conversation and understanding? Health educator \u003ca href=\"https://www.shafiazaloom.com/\">Shafia Zaloom\u003c/a> has a new book, “\u003ca href=\"https://hep.gse.harvard.edu/9798895570593/getting-real-about-sex-ed/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need\u003c/span>\u003c/a>,” that guides parents through different stages of development. Having a more contemporary understanding of sex ed can help parents become the “askable parent” when kids have questions about the world — such as how they want to be treated and how that extends to relationships — so they don’t have to rely so heavily on peers, social media and algorithms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm?e=KQINC9462844781\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a computer-generated transcript. While our team has reviewed it, there may be errors.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Welcome to the Mind Shift Podcast where we explore the future of learning and how we raise our kids. I’m Ki Sung.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Today we’re going to get an update on sex ed in the United States., sex ed is no longer about just intercourse and preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Sexuality education is more nuanced and starts earlier in life. And biologically, that makes a lot of sense. But culturally, we may have a lot catching up to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My guest today is Shafia Zaloom. Health educator and author of \u003ca href=\"https://hep.gse.harvard.edu/9798895570593/getting-real-about-sex-ed/\">Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need\u003c/a>. Stay with us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Shafia Zaloom, welcome to MindShift.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Thank you so much for having me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>You teach at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and you’re a high school health educator in San Francisco. You also work with schools across the country in states of all political leanings which you describe in your book Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For old timers like me, can you describe the evolution of sex education to sexuality education- What’s the difference and how are they taught differently?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Yeah, of course. So when it comes to sex education in particular, that’s mostly information-based and it’s really grounded in sort of medical health, sexual reproductive health, right? So it has to do with preventing unintended pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy. It has to deal with preventing passing of sexually transmitted infections. And it’s very sort of clinical and medical-based. It’s important.\u003cbr>\nBut sexuality education is a lot more holistic and it’s a lot nuanced and it includes a whole lot more. So not just the information, but what do you actually do with it and what’s the meaning we assign to it? It really has to do with… How we relate to ourselves and to the world, how we take care of others, how we treat others because that matters. And that’s really at the heart of comprehensive sexuality education. There’s an ethical aspect to it having to do with decision-making that promotes and encourages relationships grounded in mutual respect, empathy, and dignity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>As a health educator, you must get asked all kinds of questions by students of all ages. What are some of the most frequently asked questions you get from middle schoolers and teens?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>It is such a tremendous range, and I’ve been doing this for 30 years, right? So the questions have been the same for 30 years, and then other questions have sort of evolved and become different. And then there’s brand new stuff. And the brand new staff sometimes changes constantly because it’s within a context of digital spaces. And so it’s just super interesting, you know, for the younger kids from middle school. You know, they’ll just ask basic direct questions. What is this? What is that? How do I know if I like girls or boys? How do know if someone really has a crush on me? How do tell my best friend that I don’t like it when they’re always hugging me? You know questions like that that have sort of transcended time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have some kids now in middle school who are asking about pornography. Which is different because it’s so ubiquitous, it’s still accessible now, that I see more questions that are very specific to certain types of media and what they’re exposed to in media. You know, what is popping the cherry mean? What’s a grundle? What’s gooning? You know, all these different sort of, this different kind of language that exists in digital spaces that they’re expose to. And are sort of wrestling with to make meaning of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then as kids get older in high school, the stakes feel a lot higher. I get a lot like to shave or not to shave. How do I make it not hurt when I lose my virginity? Questions like when is it okay to have sex with someone? How do you know what real trust actually is? Really pretty important and intense questions that also reveal… These aren’t being discussed in other spaces, right? That this is one of the first times someone has asked them, you know, what are you curious about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And a lot of times too now, which is different from the past, kids are asking me to legitimize something. I heard that, or is it true that…” kind of questions having to do with what they’re exposed to in media, like “what’s a blue waffle? Can girls pee out of their vaginas?” Like there’s all kinds of different things that they’re exposed to that they are wondering about. Most of the time they’ll just Google, right? And so they get this information and then they have this intuitive response of like, I don’t know if that can actually be right. And then they ask it in class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Uh… That sounds way more complicated than I think the questions were asked in my sex ed class a long time ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> [Laughter]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Um, how do you navigate that world? Or maybe the better question is how are the kids navigating? You mentioned they’re searching online, but it seems like an endless rabbit hole that could lead you to pretty dark places, especially at a very young age, because I saw this study that showed that kids are encountering porn. The average age that they encounter porn is 12, and it happens a lot at school just by clicking through links unassumingly. And so that’s what I wonder, like how do you think they’re navigating the space? You mentioned like parents, but what else are they doing?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I think more parents are trying to talk about these things, and modern parents, and good for them, yay, and we’re trying to get folks to talk about this more, but we’ll check the box around like, okay, I talk to my kids about consent, I talk my kid about STIs, I talk about birth control, things like that, if we’re talking about teenagers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then I have a kid come up to me to say, okay, I know the definition of consent, and my parents keep telling me, you know, I should respect women or I should respect whomever, whatever it may be. But what does that mean exactly? Right, like that’s the followup question that I’m now getting, what does that mean?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so I think that’s important. The Googling, absolutely, a lot of times pornography will come up. It’s a lot harder for kids to avoid coming across porn or sexually explicit material than it is not to these days. And so then that, you know, that’s a whole rabbit hole in of itself. And because we’re not providing, and in fact currently rolling back comprehensive sexuality education courses in schools, you know. Kids are turning to pornography. It’s become the default sex ed of this country. That’s like watching the Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, you know, kids are looking for information from their friends. They’re looking to social media. They’re asking Google. And for parents, if you’re not talking to your kid about sexuality, you’re the only person not talking your kid about sexuality because their friends are, the internet is, you know all these different influencers who are out there. And so that’s why this conversation is so important, not only in learning spaces, but also at home, because parenting adults, a kid’s guardian is the primary sexuality educator in a child’s life. That has been true forever. I don’t know a single professional sexuality educator who doesn’t believe that. And it’s challenging. It’s really hard to keep up, especially if you haven’t had a positive experience with that education yourself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>I think one of the most fascinating aspects of your book is that you lay out a lot of real life scenarios in school in very precise language. For example, I’ve never heard of the term, and I think it’s okay to say, clamper. Oh yeah. It’s probably in a category of behaviors that…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Mm-hmm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung:\u003c/strong> happened on school campuses or elsewhere outside of the school. Can you describe what that is and how you’ve addressed that in schools?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Yeah, for sure. So clamping, depending on what classroom you’re in, and this tends to start sort of young, right? In the case of my book, there’s a field trip and they’re walking upstairs in a museum. There are different terms for it too, euphemisms, like fish in the creek, clamping. You know, a lot of different ways by which kids will reference this behavior. You know the euphemism is supposed to make it humorous, which sort of excuses the. Inappropriate or aggressive behavior behind it. And it’s basically poking someone in the butt and in the butt crack in particular and thinking that that’s really funny. And I don’t know a lot of kids who actually think that is very funny, but this is also happening during a time when they’re negotiating social landscapes, social power and currency, and how we connect to and relate to each other and what kind of influence different kids have.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So in addressing that, there are two things we need to do, and sometimes there’s a third. If there’s kid who brings that to your attention, because sometimes there is, right? There’s the kid who will say, hey, this is going on. Did you see this? Did you know this? They go to the adult because they’re looking for some sort of help, because intuitively they know that this isn’t something that’s okay. And that kid needs to be recognized, right, because… When it comes to that dynamic, you know, the topic of snitching comes up, it’s really important to be very concrete about the difference between snitching, which is telling on someone on purpose to get them in trouble on purpose, and reporting, which is where you’re sharing information, asking for help trying to support community and righting a wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then you have two other things: You have the kid who actually experienced the clamp or the poke, the unwanted poking, and then you have the kid who actually did it. And so those are two kids, usually the kid who does it, it’s important to remove their audience. When we address these things publicly, it’s important to say something, to stand for what’s right, to hold people accountable to the guidelines you’ve set up in your classroom or amongst each other in your community. But we don’t want to go too far because for adolescents when we go too far in a public setting, they shut down because it feels shameful. And so what we want to do is say something so that people know oh okay the teacher is aware the the caretaking adult knows this is happening and so they’re going to take care of it but they’re also going to honor and respect that kids make mistakes and that we have the opportunity to learn from them so that we can be better people. And that’s what you’re going do in private right? That’s what you’re going to do with discretion, not secrecy. That’s different. But hold kids accountable in a way that honors privacy and the opportunity to become available to the learning and the guidance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that social learning is going to be critical. So we want to support the kid who experienced it, find out how they felt about it, how things are going, what kind of support they may need. The other kid, we’re doing something similar. And we really want to get behind that behavior to see what need is. They’re trying to meet by engaging in that behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Were they looking for connection? Were they are looking for affirmation through attention?, whether it was negative or positive, didn’t really matter for them, like, whatever it may have been, help them understand how their choice in making that, getting that need met actually didn’t serve them or anyone else. And it’s absolutely not acceptable. And so then what are the other options for them when they’re feeling that way to get those needs met, in a way that actually then affirms what they’re trying to figure out, how they’re in the classroom and how they are part of community?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>And I guess that can also be applicable to other interactions one has with others in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Oh, 100%, yes. And it’s an opportunity to give, to impart a lesson to and to reinforce information, right? That very rarely do any of us, the first time we hear something, especially if we’re a young person, right, are we gonna remember, internalize, and make that a part of our practice? Practice is essential. That’s why kids are in school. And so that kid, it’s also an opportunity to review consent, bodily autonomy, asking permission, what accountability actually means, the value of community, what we’re actually going for in our relationships, who we wanna be. There’s a ton of things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>But the scenario you describe is really detailed, as are a lot of incidents that are really uncomfortable or challenging. And I think what you do really well is lay out several raw descriptions of conflict you’ve heard about or seen on campus, including the use of slurs. And a lot those instances, when boundaries are crossed, you often end up with a student reply of, I was just joking or I didn’t mean it. So how do you address that seemingly common response to an infraction?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>That’s such a good question. You know, I think, so it’s so important when working with young people in particular that we get, that we recognize the behavior, that we hold them accountable, but that we also guide them to what’s behind the behavior. And I think that’s… The most important piece is when these things come up, because kids are in gender and sexuality school all the time, all day, every day, it’s constantly being modeled for them. They’re being socialized by all these different social institutions all the times, is that we guide them towards those universal values that we think are really important when it comes to relationships with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And what our culture teaches kids, because sex is everywhere and nowhere all at once. It’s something that a lot of people don’t have a lot practice talking about in really positive, productive, constructive ways. And so when it comes to kids, they’ve learned that when we talk about sex, if we veil it in humor, that we can get away with a lot behaviors. That if we didn’t veil them in humor, would definitely not be okay, that would be disrespectful, would be considered rude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this is a way by which sort of the sex stigmatization that has historically been a part of our culture continues and is perpetuated. So when talking with kids, it’s really important first that we not shame and this is the thing, most adults have been socialized to respond to issues of sexuality that would warrant, oh, I was just kidding, it’s not a big deal, I didn’t mean it that way, with some sort of shame, fear avoidance versus care, love, and affirmation. Because that’s the counter narrative, right, the care, love, and affirmation. And a lot of times kids, especially adolescents, are just mirroring and trying on navigating the gauntlet to adulthood of what they see in adult culture. So we have to help them understand. We have to contextualize it for them. We have to get behind the behavior to help understand the feelings that are there and what values we’re actually aspiring to. And the reason why that behavior actually erodes relationships and community versus affirms and builds them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>I’m wondering if you can make a connection to being an adult by having these experiences early. How do they manifest in an adult’s life? And by experiences I mean standing up for yourself or communicating what you want or how you need to be treated and like entering into interactions with understanding instead of shame. I mean, you just mentioned many things here. So I guess generally like, you know, if somebody has this kind of experience, how does that project into their lives as an adult?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Well, what we understand and know about social learning is that one, it makes us available to feel socially connected, actually improves and cultivates the capacity for young people to learn effectively. What we also know about learning is that we need practice and it needs to be scaffolded over time in a developmentally appropriate way. And so when we take this on, you know, Freud said that the two most important things in life are work and love. And this is ultimately comprehensive sexuality education. You know, we forget this sometimes because of our history of stigmatizing it, is that this is about cultivating the capacity to love and be loved. And so that requires skills. It requires being attuned to yourself and others. You know, skills are something we have to practice and build over time. And so when you have someone who’s had the benefit of these skills, of this sort of reinforcement, the contextualizing, applying these skills and cultivating these capacities in different contexts across different experiences, you have some one who actually becomes more considerate of others, who’s able to be attuned to others and to themselves to act in ways that are ethical in terms of how we treat each other because that really matters, who can exercise empathy, who can ask for help when they need it, and who have the language and the practice to verbalize what they’re thinking and feeling when they need to ask for that, or when they see that others need it too and offer it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think that’s a really important piece. I wanna make sure we don’t only focus on self. We really have to balance how we connect with ourselves as individuals with becoming community-minded and understanding the value of being socially connected and in community with other people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>So what tips do you have for parents who really struggle with their discomfort around talking about sexuality and relationships with their kids?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I mean, as much as we can is get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, which is such a valuable thing to model, right? That sometimes the hardest conversations are the most important ones to have in a relationship. And there are plenty of scripts and resources out there, some great books for having these conversations with young people across developmental stages in ways that are cognitively congruent. And so I would say it’s really important for a parent to educate themselves to find those resources that align with their values so that they can start early. And it’s never too late, I wanna say that too. And to provide their kid with medically accurate, credible information first and foremost. But the most important piece is actually the values stuff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to get concrete around it, let’s say you’re in the car with your kid and you let them DJ for the ride. And a song comes on, you can simply drop a question, like, “huh, do you think this is about infatuation or authentic connection? Because I’m not really sure, you know?” It’s just a question like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or you’re watching as a family, you’re a watching a show, or you’re just watching something with your kid, or you heard they’re watching something, so you start to watch it too. And you talk about the characters like real people. And you say like, well, do you think that was wordless consent? Do you think that that was actually like a response that really honored and respected what they wanted or their right to make a decision or I noticed they changed their mind, you know, like that kind of a thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And you’re not, you’re not launching, um, and you’re just collecting these beautiful moments that you scaffold over time, and then you can go back and you can sort of embellish and bedazzle and hang all kinds of beautiful things on the scaffolding, but it’s really important to get that foundational piece first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, becoming the askable parent means that we have our eyes and ears open, and for adolescents, a lot of times that’s not on our time, it’s on their time, right, like late at night or whatever else because their circadian rhythms have shifted. And we’re doing a lot values education in particular, you know, we want to make sure they have access to the medically accurate information, but then the values education and how we apply that information to interpersonal dynamics is going to be super important.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so for kids, even saying, hey, I heard this podcast and there was this woman speaking about sexuality education. Are you getting any of that in school and in what ways? And how’s it been? What do you think about it? Kids love to, they have a keen sense of justice too. Could even say, she said this, do you think that’s true? Have you seen that come up? Do you think that would be valuable information?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But those are the ways that I. I think parents can become askable when it comes to their kids. And it doesn’t mean being your kid’s friend. They really need a parent with boundaries and doing the hard stuff. And how do you get comfortable with being uncomfortable? Those sorts of things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>So I want to ask you, for maybe millennials, Gen Xers who grew up in a different era of sex ed, can you identify some myths about sexuality education that adults should consider unlearning?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I think this is true of all adults, actually, just because it’s interesting, I think the stigmatizing aspect of sexuality has been perpetuated across its cyclical, right, generational cycles of this, and we really need to move away from that, and that requires people to work on themselves. And earlier you had asked about how can parents become askable parents, right? And get comfortable with this. And part of that’s a parent’s responsibility to do with other people their own age, right. Like your own friends, have conversations about this, practice having this conversation. The myths that are out there are that if we tell kids then they’re gonna go run out and do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s no empirical evidence whatsoever. That tells us that’s the case. In fact, the inverse is true. And so, you know, that’s just when we’ve put political ideology above student health and perpetuated stigmatizing ideas around sexuality. All you have to do is look at the Dutch. I mean, they start age-appropriate sexuality education in preschool and kindergarten, and it follows them all up into adulthood. You know, their focus is really on responsibility and joy. Versus like disaster prevention, fear and avoidance. And so, and their young people are far more relational, their STI and unintended pregnancy rates are like some of the lowest in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, it’s really important that we understand…we spend more, we invest more in fire prevention and fire safety, like information and learning with young people than we do on sex ed. And when you give that education to kids, like, okay, here’s how we prevent fires or how we deal with them if there is one or whatever else they don’t go home and start making fires.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I tell young people that this is what adults believe, that if they acquire a sex education, they’re gonna run out and go start having sex, they look at me like I have three heads. And they’re offended. They’re like, really? And then they get funny and they’re like oh, think of all the other things that they tell us to do when they spend all this time trying to teach us and how we don’t do them. Right? Um, so I think that’s the biggest one is, uh, that if we tell them they’re automatically going to go out and do, um, because all the evidence and there’s tons of it, decades of it tells us that if engage in age appropriate comprehensive sexuality education as it’s meant to be, that all the things we hope for our kids, there’s a higher probability of that happening than the inverse, which people are afraid of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Thank you so much for all that context and guiding us to become the Askable parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Thank you for having me and your interest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Shafia Zaloom is the author of the recently published book, Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need. She’s a health educator who teaches at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and at a high school in San Francisco and consults schools across the country.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Credits: \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The MindShift team includes me, Ki Sung, Nimah Gobir, Marlena Jackson-Retondo and Marnette Federis. Our editor is Chris Hambrick. Seth Samuel is our sound designer. Jen Chien is our head of podcasts and Ethan Toven Lindsey is our editor in chief. We receive additional support from Maha Sanad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MindShift is supported in part by the generosity of the William & Flora Hewlett Foundation and members of KQED.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some members of the KQED podcast team are represented by The Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. San Francisco Northern California Local.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thanks for listening to MindShift.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"#episode-transcript\">\u003ci>View the full episode transcript.\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">In this digital age, kids are surrounded by messages about gender and sexuality. But are parents creating the space for conversation and understanding? Health educator \u003ca href=\"https://www.shafiazaloom.com/\">Shafia Zaloom\u003c/a> has a new book, “\u003ca href=\"https://hep.gse.harvard.edu/9798895570593/getting-real-about-sex-ed/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need\u003c/span>\u003c/a>,” that guides parents through different stages of development. Having a more contemporary understanding of sex ed can help parents become the “askable parent” when kids have questions about the world — such as how they want to be treated and how that extends to relationships — so they don’t have to rely so heavily on peers, social media and algorithms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"200\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"https://playlist.megaphone.fm?e=KQINC9462844781\" width=\"100%\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-content post-body\">\u003ch2 id=\"episode-transcript\">Episode Transcript\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a computer-generated transcript. While our team has reviewed it, there may be errors.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Welcome to the Mind Shift Podcast where we explore the future of learning and how we raise our kids. I’m Ki Sung.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Today we’re going to get an update on sex ed in the United States., sex ed is no longer about just intercourse and preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Sexuality education is more nuanced and starts earlier in life. And biologically, that makes a lot of sense. But culturally, we may have a lot catching up to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My guest today is Shafia Zaloom. Health educator and author of \u003ca href=\"https://hep.gse.harvard.edu/9798895570593/getting-real-about-sex-ed/\">Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need\u003c/a>. Stay with us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Shafia Zaloom, welcome to MindShift.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Thank you so much for having me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>You teach at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and you’re a high school health educator in San Francisco. You also work with schools across the country in states of all political leanings which you describe in your book Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For old timers like me, can you describe the evolution of sex education to sexuality education- What’s the difference and how are they taught differently?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Yeah, of course. So when it comes to sex education in particular, that’s mostly information-based and it’s really grounded in sort of medical health, sexual reproductive health, right? So it has to do with preventing unintended pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy. It has to deal with preventing passing of sexually transmitted infections. And it’s very sort of clinical and medical-based. It’s important.\u003cbr>\nBut sexuality education is a lot more holistic and it’s a lot nuanced and it includes a whole lot more. So not just the information, but what do you actually do with it and what’s the meaning we assign to it? It really has to do with… How we relate to ourselves and to the world, how we take care of others, how we treat others because that matters. And that’s really at the heart of comprehensive sexuality education. There’s an ethical aspect to it having to do with decision-making that promotes and encourages relationships grounded in mutual respect, empathy, and dignity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>As a health educator, you must get asked all kinds of questions by students of all ages. What are some of the most frequently asked questions you get from middle schoolers and teens?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>It is such a tremendous range, and I’ve been doing this for 30 years, right? So the questions have been the same for 30 years, and then other questions have sort of evolved and become different. And then there’s brand new stuff. And the brand new staff sometimes changes constantly because it’s within a context of digital spaces. And so it’s just super interesting, you know, for the younger kids from middle school. You know, they’ll just ask basic direct questions. What is this? What is that? How do I know if I like girls or boys? How do know if someone really has a crush on me? How do tell my best friend that I don’t like it when they’re always hugging me? You know questions like that that have sort of transcended time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I have some kids now in middle school who are asking about pornography. Which is different because it’s so ubiquitous, it’s still accessible now, that I see more questions that are very specific to certain types of media and what they’re exposed to in media. You know, what is popping the cherry mean? What’s a grundle? What’s gooning? You know, all these different sort of, this different kind of language that exists in digital spaces that they’re expose to. And are sort of wrestling with to make meaning of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then as kids get older in high school, the stakes feel a lot higher. I get a lot like to shave or not to shave. How do I make it not hurt when I lose my virginity? Questions like when is it okay to have sex with someone? How do you know what real trust actually is? Really pretty important and intense questions that also reveal… These aren’t being discussed in other spaces, right? That this is one of the first times someone has asked them, you know, what are you curious about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And a lot of times too now, which is different from the past, kids are asking me to legitimize something. I heard that, or is it true that…” kind of questions having to do with what they’re exposed to in media, like “what’s a blue waffle? Can girls pee out of their vaginas?” Like there’s all kinds of different things that they’re exposed to that they are wondering about. Most of the time they’ll just Google, right? And so they get this information and then they have this intuitive response of like, I don’t know if that can actually be right. And then they ask it in class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Uh… That sounds way more complicated than I think the questions were asked in my sex ed class a long time ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> [Laughter]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Um, how do you navigate that world? Or maybe the better question is how are the kids navigating? You mentioned they’re searching online, but it seems like an endless rabbit hole that could lead you to pretty dark places, especially at a very young age, because I saw this study that showed that kids are encountering porn. The average age that they encounter porn is 12, and it happens a lot at school just by clicking through links unassumingly. And so that’s what I wonder, like how do you think they’re navigating the space? You mentioned like parents, but what else are they doing?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I think more parents are trying to talk about these things, and modern parents, and good for them, yay, and we’re trying to get folks to talk about this more, but we’ll check the box around like, okay, I talk to my kids about consent, I talk my kid about STIs, I talk about birth control, things like that, if we’re talking about teenagers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then I have a kid come up to me to say, okay, I know the definition of consent, and my parents keep telling me, you know, I should respect women or I should respect whomever, whatever it may be. But what does that mean exactly? Right, like that’s the followup question that I’m now getting, what does that mean?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so I think that’s important. The Googling, absolutely, a lot of times pornography will come up. It’s a lot harder for kids to avoid coming across porn or sexually explicit material than it is not to these days. And so then that, you know, that’s a whole rabbit hole in of itself. And because we’re not providing, and in fact currently rolling back comprehensive sexuality education courses in schools, you know. Kids are turning to pornography. It’s become the default sex ed of this country. That’s like watching the Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, you know, kids are looking for information from their friends. They’re looking to social media. They’re asking Google. And for parents, if you’re not talking to your kid about sexuality, you’re the only person not talking your kid about sexuality because their friends are, the internet is, you know all these different influencers who are out there. And so that’s why this conversation is so important, not only in learning spaces, but also at home, because parenting adults, a kid’s guardian is the primary sexuality educator in a child’s life. That has been true forever. I don’t know a single professional sexuality educator who doesn’t believe that. And it’s challenging. It’s really hard to keep up, especially if you haven’t had a positive experience with that education yourself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>I think one of the most fascinating aspects of your book is that you lay out a lot of real life scenarios in school in very precise language. For example, I’ve never heard of the term, and I think it’s okay to say, clamper. Oh yeah. It’s probably in a category of behaviors that…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Mm-hmm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung:\u003c/strong> happened on school campuses or elsewhere outside of the school. Can you describe what that is and how you’ve addressed that in schools?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Yeah, for sure. So clamping, depending on what classroom you’re in, and this tends to start sort of young, right? In the case of my book, there’s a field trip and they’re walking upstairs in a museum. There are different terms for it too, euphemisms, like fish in the creek, clamping. You know, a lot of different ways by which kids will reference this behavior. You know the euphemism is supposed to make it humorous, which sort of excuses the. Inappropriate or aggressive behavior behind it. And it’s basically poking someone in the butt and in the butt crack in particular and thinking that that’s really funny. And I don’t know a lot of kids who actually think that is very funny, but this is also happening during a time when they’re negotiating social landscapes, social power and currency, and how we connect to and relate to each other and what kind of influence different kids have.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So in addressing that, there are two things we need to do, and sometimes there’s a third. If there’s kid who brings that to your attention, because sometimes there is, right? There’s the kid who will say, hey, this is going on. Did you see this? Did you know this? They go to the adult because they’re looking for some sort of help, because intuitively they know that this isn’t something that’s okay. And that kid needs to be recognized, right, because… When it comes to that dynamic, you know, the topic of snitching comes up, it’s really important to be very concrete about the difference between snitching, which is telling on someone on purpose to get them in trouble on purpose, and reporting, which is where you’re sharing information, asking for help trying to support community and righting a wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then you have two other things: You have the kid who actually experienced the clamp or the poke, the unwanted poking, and then you have the kid who actually did it. And so those are two kids, usually the kid who does it, it’s important to remove their audience. When we address these things publicly, it’s important to say something, to stand for what’s right, to hold people accountable to the guidelines you’ve set up in your classroom or amongst each other in your community. But we don’t want to go too far because for adolescents when we go too far in a public setting, they shut down because it feels shameful. And so what we want to do is say something so that people know oh okay the teacher is aware the the caretaking adult knows this is happening and so they’re going to take care of it but they’re also going to honor and respect that kids make mistakes and that we have the opportunity to learn from them so that we can be better people. And that’s what you’re going do in private right? That’s what you’re going to do with discretion, not secrecy. That’s different. But hold kids accountable in a way that honors privacy and the opportunity to become available to the learning and the guidance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that social learning is going to be critical. So we want to support the kid who experienced it, find out how they felt about it, how things are going, what kind of support they may need. The other kid, we’re doing something similar. And we really want to get behind that behavior to see what need is. They’re trying to meet by engaging in that behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Were they looking for connection? Were they are looking for affirmation through attention?, whether it was negative or positive, didn’t really matter for them, like, whatever it may have been, help them understand how their choice in making that, getting that need met actually didn’t serve them or anyone else. And it’s absolutely not acceptable. And so then what are the other options for them when they’re feeling that way to get those needs met, in a way that actually then affirms what they’re trying to figure out, how they’re in the classroom and how they are part of community?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>And I guess that can also be applicable to other interactions one has with others in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Oh, 100%, yes. And it’s an opportunity to give, to impart a lesson to and to reinforce information, right? That very rarely do any of us, the first time we hear something, especially if we’re a young person, right, are we gonna remember, internalize, and make that a part of our practice? Practice is essential. That’s why kids are in school. And so that kid, it’s also an opportunity to review consent, bodily autonomy, asking permission, what accountability actually means, the value of community, what we’re actually going for in our relationships, who we wanna be. There’s a ton of things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>But the scenario you describe is really detailed, as are a lot of incidents that are really uncomfortable or challenging. And I think what you do really well is lay out several raw descriptions of conflict you’ve heard about or seen on campus, including the use of slurs. And a lot those instances, when boundaries are crossed, you often end up with a student reply of, I was just joking or I didn’t mean it. So how do you address that seemingly common response to an infraction?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>That’s such a good question. You know, I think, so it’s so important when working with young people in particular that we get, that we recognize the behavior, that we hold them accountable, but that we also guide them to what’s behind the behavior. And I think that’s… The most important piece is when these things come up, because kids are in gender and sexuality school all the time, all day, every day, it’s constantly being modeled for them. They’re being socialized by all these different social institutions all the times, is that we guide them towards those universal values that we think are really important when it comes to relationships with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And what our culture teaches kids, because sex is everywhere and nowhere all at once. It’s something that a lot of people don’t have a lot practice talking about in really positive, productive, constructive ways. And so when it comes to kids, they’ve learned that when we talk about sex, if we veil it in humor, that we can get away with a lot behaviors. That if we didn’t veil them in humor, would definitely not be okay, that would be disrespectful, would be considered rude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this is a way by which sort of the sex stigmatization that has historically been a part of our culture continues and is perpetuated. So when talking with kids, it’s really important first that we not shame and this is the thing, most adults have been socialized to respond to issues of sexuality that would warrant, oh, I was just kidding, it’s not a big deal, I didn’t mean it that way, with some sort of shame, fear avoidance versus care, love, and affirmation. Because that’s the counter narrative, right, the care, love, and affirmation. And a lot of times kids, especially adolescents, are just mirroring and trying on navigating the gauntlet to adulthood of what they see in adult culture. So we have to help them understand. We have to contextualize it for them. We have to get behind the behavior to help understand the feelings that are there and what values we’re actually aspiring to. And the reason why that behavior actually erodes relationships and community versus affirms and builds them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>I’m wondering if you can make a connection to being an adult by having these experiences early. How do they manifest in an adult’s life? And by experiences I mean standing up for yourself or communicating what you want or how you need to be treated and like entering into interactions with understanding instead of shame. I mean, you just mentioned many things here. So I guess generally like, you know, if somebody has this kind of experience, how does that project into their lives as an adult?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Well, what we understand and know about social learning is that one, it makes us available to feel socially connected, actually improves and cultivates the capacity for young people to learn effectively. What we also know about learning is that we need practice and it needs to be scaffolded over time in a developmentally appropriate way. And so when we take this on, you know, Freud said that the two most important things in life are work and love. And this is ultimately comprehensive sexuality education. You know, we forget this sometimes because of our history of stigmatizing it, is that this is about cultivating the capacity to love and be loved. And so that requires skills. It requires being attuned to yourself and others. You know, skills are something we have to practice and build over time. And so when you have someone who’s had the benefit of these skills, of this sort of reinforcement, the contextualizing, applying these skills and cultivating these capacities in different contexts across different experiences, you have some one who actually becomes more considerate of others, who’s able to be attuned to others and to themselves to act in ways that are ethical in terms of how we treat each other because that really matters, who can exercise empathy, who can ask for help when they need it, and who have the language and the practice to verbalize what they’re thinking and feeling when they need to ask for that, or when they see that others need it too and offer it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think that’s a really important piece. I wanna make sure we don’t only focus on self. We really have to balance how we connect with ourselves as individuals with becoming community-minded and understanding the value of being socially connected and in community with other people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>So what tips do you have for parents who really struggle with their discomfort around talking about sexuality and relationships with their kids?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I mean, as much as we can is get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, which is such a valuable thing to model, right? That sometimes the hardest conversations are the most important ones to have in a relationship. And there are plenty of scripts and resources out there, some great books for having these conversations with young people across developmental stages in ways that are cognitively congruent. And so I would say it’s really important for a parent to educate themselves to find those resources that align with their values so that they can start early. And it’s never too late, I wanna say that too. And to provide their kid with medically accurate, credible information first and foremost. But the most important piece is actually the values stuff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to get concrete around it, let’s say you’re in the car with your kid and you let them DJ for the ride. And a song comes on, you can simply drop a question, like, “huh, do you think this is about infatuation or authentic connection? Because I’m not really sure, you know?” It’s just a question like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or you’re watching as a family, you’re a watching a show, or you’re just watching something with your kid, or you heard they’re watching something, so you start to watch it too. And you talk about the characters like real people. And you say like, well, do you think that was wordless consent? Do you think that that was actually like a response that really honored and respected what they wanted or their right to make a decision or I noticed they changed their mind, you know, like that kind of a thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And you’re not, you’re not launching, um, and you’re just collecting these beautiful moments that you scaffold over time, and then you can go back and you can sort of embellish and bedazzle and hang all kinds of beautiful things on the scaffolding, but it’s really important to get that foundational piece first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, becoming the askable parent means that we have our eyes and ears open, and for adolescents, a lot of times that’s not on our time, it’s on their time, right, like late at night or whatever else because their circadian rhythms have shifted. And we’re doing a lot values education in particular, you know, we want to make sure they have access to the medically accurate information, but then the values education and how we apply that information to interpersonal dynamics is going to be super important.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so for kids, even saying, hey, I heard this podcast and there was this woman speaking about sexuality education. Are you getting any of that in school and in what ways? And how’s it been? What do you think about it? Kids love to, they have a keen sense of justice too. Could even say, she said this, do you think that’s true? Have you seen that come up? Do you think that would be valuable information?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But those are the ways that I. I think parents can become askable when it comes to their kids. And it doesn’t mean being your kid’s friend. They really need a parent with boundaries and doing the hard stuff. And how do you get comfortable with being uncomfortable? Those sorts of things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>So I want to ask you, for maybe millennials, Gen Xers who grew up in a different era of sex ed, can you identify some myths about sexuality education that adults should consider unlearning?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>I think this is true of all adults, actually, just because it’s interesting, I think the stigmatizing aspect of sexuality has been perpetuated across its cyclical, right, generational cycles of this, and we really need to move away from that, and that requires people to work on themselves. And earlier you had asked about how can parents become askable parents, right? And get comfortable with this. And part of that’s a parent’s responsibility to do with other people their own age, right. Like your own friends, have conversations about this, practice having this conversation. The myths that are out there are that if we tell kids then they’re gonna go run out and do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s no empirical evidence whatsoever. That tells us that’s the case. In fact, the inverse is true. And so, you know, that’s just when we’ve put political ideology above student health and perpetuated stigmatizing ideas around sexuality. All you have to do is look at the Dutch. I mean, they start age-appropriate sexuality education in preschool and kindergarten, and it follows them all up into adulthood. You know, their focus is really on responsibility and joy. Versus like disaster prevention, fear and avoidance. And so, and their young people are far more relational, their STI and unintended pregnancy rates are like some of the lowest in the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, it’s really important that we understand…we spend more, we invest more in fire prevention and fire safety, like information and learning with young people than we do on sex ed. And when you give that education to kids, like, okay, here’s how we prevent fires or how we deal with them if there is one or whatever else they don’t go home and start making fires.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I tell young people that this is what adults believe, that if they acquire a sex education, they’re gonna run out and go start having sex, they look at me like I have three heads. And they’re offended. They’re like, really? And then they get funny and they’re like oh, think of all the other things that they tell us to do when they spend all this time trying to teach us and how we don’t do them. Right? Um, so I think that’s the biggest one is, uh, that if we tell them they’re automatically going to go out and do, um, because all the evidence and there’s tons of it, decades of it tells us that if engage in age appropriate comprehensive sexuality education as it’s meant to be, that all the things we hope for our kids, there’s a higher probability of that happening than the inverse, which people are afraid of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Thank you so much for all that context and guiding us to become the Askable parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Shafia Zaloom: \u003c/strong>Thank you for having me and your interest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ki Sung: \u003c/strong>Shafia Zaloom is the author of the recently published book, Getting Real About Sex Ed: What Today’s Students Need. She’s a health educator who teaches at the Harvard Graduate School of Education and at a high school in San Francisco and consults schools across the country.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Credits: \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The MindShift team includes me, Ki Sung, Nimah Gobir, Marlena Jackson-Retondo and Marnette Federis. Our editor is Chris Hambrick. Seth Samuel is our sound designer. Jen Chien is our head of podcasts and Ethan Toven Lindsey is our editor in chief. We receive additional support from Maha Sanad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MindShift is supported in part by the generosity of the William & Flora Hewlett Foundation and members of KQED.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some members of the KQED podcast team are represented by The Screen Actors Guild, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. San Francisco Northern California Local.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thanks for listening to MindShift.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>"
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"content": "\u003cp>Kim Freudenberg, a longtime teacher in San Francisco, knew that raising two boys meant a lot of hard conversations. She warned them about all the usual dangers: drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, riding a bike without a helmet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Never once did I even think that I needed to say ‘gambling,'” she recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, when her oldest son was 11, he was watching someone play video games on a livestream and clicked on a link in the comments. It took him to an offshore online casino.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There, he got sucked in — to blackjack, poker, roulette. He could use items from the video game as money. Soon he got hooked, but the signs of his addiction were hard to spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not like he was just holed up in his room 24-7,” Freudenberg says. “He ran track. He played soccer. He was a great student.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until he dropped out of college at age 19. That’s when his mom found out that he had been gambling for nearly half his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He’d sold things from around the house to keep up with his debts, borrowed money from friends and, then, eventually, started stealing money from his parents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a problem that educators, researchers and parents like Freudenberg say is affecting a growing number of young people, most of them boys. A recent national survey from Common Sense Media found that 36% of boys age 11 to 17 in the U.S. have gambled in the past year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s a lot of kids,” says Michael Robb, the head of research at Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that promotes digital safety for kids. “A third of kids is a lot of kids.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He notes that playing fantasy football with friends or making a March Madness bracket may be harmless. It could, for example, help strengthen male friend groups. But for a small subset of boys, Robb adds, things can get out of control: “They’re not all going to have problems. But given how much things have changed in the last couple of years, the way [some kids] are engaging in gambling behaviors is already flashing red signs.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not just teens. Gambling has soared in the U.S. since a key Supreme Court ruling in 2018 allowed states to legalize sports betting. That opened the floodgates, from one state back then to 38 in 2024.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before that decision, Americans spent $4.9 billion annually on sports betting. By 2023, that figure had ballooned to $121 billion, according to \u003cem>The Journal of the American Medical Association\u003c/em> (\u003cem>JAMA\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And those were just the legal bets. No one under 18 can gamble legally, but experts say the opportunities are everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“If I wanted to bet on the [Washington] Nationals,” says Matt Missar, an addiction counselor in Pittsburgh, “20 years ago, as a teenager, I’ll go find a bookie and I’ll place a bet. Nowadays, I can bet on every single pitch of a game.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much of the explosion in legalized gambling is happening on cellphones, Missar notes. “It is incredibly easy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He specializes in gambling and video game addictions and says the number of young adults he sees come through his practice has ticked higher in recent years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just that the problem arose when they’re 18,” he says. “It started when they were 13 or 14 … and slowly over those years it became more of a problem.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Freudenberg wishes she had seen the warning signs. But often, she says, online gambling can look the same as texting a friend or watching a video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She thinks removing the guardrails has created a slippery slope for kids: “If my kid had to get in a car, drive to a bank, take out money, drive to a casino, go into the casino, show an ID at the door — he probably wouldn’t be a gambling addict.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a few attempts at rehab, she says, her son is back at college and doing well. Freudenberg helped start a \u003ca href=\"https://parentsstandingtogether.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">support group for parents of teen gamblers\u003c/a>, and their numbers are growing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She fears that, all over the country, there are lots more parents just like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The tsunami is on the horizon,” she says. “And it’s gonna be really, really bad.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"npr-transcript\">\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Transcript:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The legalization of online gambling and sports betting in many states, and all the advertising for it, is raising fears that more young people are getting addicted. Here’s NPR’s Sequoia Carrillo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SEQUOIA CARRILLO, BYLINE: Kim Freudenberg is a high school physics teacher in San Francisco. She’s also the mom of two boys, which, of course, brought the usual anxieties and fears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KIM FREUDENBERG: Lots of discussions about drugs and alcohol and sex and social media and wearing a helmet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: She knows there are many, many ways that kids, especially boys, can find themselves in trouble before anyone even knows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: Never once did I even think that I needed to say gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: What she didn’t know was that one day, when her oldest son was 11, he was watching someone play video games on live stream and clicked on a link in the comments. It took him to an offshore online casino. There, he got sucked into blackjack, poker, roulette, and he could use items from the video game as money. Soon, he got hooked, but Fredenberg says no one knew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: It’s not like he was just holed up in his room 24/7. Like, he ran track. He played soccer. He was a great student.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Quietly, her son became an addict, winning and losing money, selling things from around the house to keep up with his debts and then eventually stealing money from his parents. Her son ended up dropping out of college at 19. That’s when his mom found out that he had been gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: It’s so bad. And parents, I think, are so unaware of what’s happening and how potentially dangerous and life-destroying gambling can be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: It’s a problem educators, researchers and parents like her say is affecting a growing number of young people, most of them boys. In 2018, a key Supreme Court ruling allowed states to legalize sports betting, and that opened the floodgates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MATT MISSAR: I’m a Washington Nationals fan. If I want to bet on the Nationals 15, 20 years ago as a teenager, I’ll go find a bookie and I’ll place a bet. But nowadays, I can bet on every single pitch of a game – ball, strike, ball, strike. I can bet on that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: That’s Matt Missar, an addiction counselor in Pittsburgh specializing in video games and gambling. He says he’s seen a growing number of young people in his practice, even though no one under 18 can gamble legally. So I asked him – how are kids still doing it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MISSAR: It is incredibly easy. Honestly, in the time I spent answering that question, I bet someone could have downloaded three sites, signed up for them and been able to start gambling right away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: A recent national survey from Common Sense Media, the nonprofit group that focuses on kids and concerns around media, found that 36% of boys aged 11 to 17 in the U.S. have gambled in the past year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MICHAEL ROBB: It’s a lot of kids. Like, a third of kids is a lot of kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Michael Robb is Common Sense Media’s head of research. And he notes that playing fantasy football with friends or making a March Madness bracket may be harmless for kids and can help strengthen male friend groups. But for a small subset of boys, things can get out of control.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ROBB: They’re not all going to have problems. But given how much things have changed in the last couple of years, the way that they are engaging in gambling behaviors is already flashing red signs. Like, something is wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Kim Freudenberg wishes she had seen some of those warning signs. But even for a veteran teacher, often, online gambling can look the same as texting a friend or watching a video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: If my kid had to get in a car, drive to a bank, take out money, drive to a casino, go into the casino, show an ID at the door, he probably wouldn’t be a gambling addict. He wouldn’t have been able to do all of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: After a few attempts at rehab, her son is now back at college and doing well. She helped start a support group for parents, and every week, their numbers keep growing. And she fears that all over the country, there are lots more parents just like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: The tsunami is – it’s, like, on the horizon, and it’s going to be really, really bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Sequoia Carrillo, NPR News.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Kim Freudenberg, a longtime teacher in San Francisco, knew that raising two boys meant a lot of hard conversations. She warned them about all the usual dangers: drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, riding a bike without a helmet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Never once did I even think that I needed to say ‘gambling,'” she recalls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, when her oldest son was 11, he was watching someone play video games on a livestream and clicked on a link in the comments. It took him to an offshore online casino.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There, he got sucked in — to blackjack, poker, roulette. He could use items from the video game as money. Soon he got hooked, but the signs of his addiction were hard to spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not like he was just holed up in his room 24-7,” Freudenberg says. “He ran track. He played soccer. He was a great student.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until he dropped out of college at age 19. That’s when his mom found out that he had been gambling for nearly half his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He’d sold things from around the house to keep up with his debts, borrowed money from friends and, then, eventually, started stealing money from his parents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a problem that educators, researchers and parents like Freudenberg say is affecting a growing number of young people, most of them boys. A recent national survey from Common Sense Media found that 36% of boys age 11 to 17 in the U.S. have gambled in the past year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s a lot of kids,” says Michael Robb, the head of research at Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that promotes digital safety for kids. “A third of kids is a lot of kids.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He notes that playing fantasy football with friends or making a March Madness bracket may be harmless. It could, for example, help strengthen male friend groups. But for a small subset of boys, Robb adds, things can get out of control: “They’re not all going to have problems. But given how much things have changed in the last couple of years, the way [some kids] are engaging in gambling behaviors is already flashing red signs.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not just teens. Gambling has soared in the U.S. since a key Supreme Court ruling in 2018 allowed states to legalize sports betting. That opened the floodgates, from one state back then to 38 in 2024.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before that decision, Americans spent $4.9 billion annually on sports betting. By 2023, that figure had ballooned to $121 billion, according to \u003cem>The Journal of the American Medical Association\u003c/em> (\u003cem>JAMA\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And those were just the legal bets. No one under 18 can gamble legally, but experts say the opportunities are everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“If I wanted to bet on the [Washington] Nationals,” says Matt Missar, an addiction counselor in Pittsburgh, “20 years ago, as a teenager, I’ll go find a bookie and I’ll place a bet. Nowadays, I can bet on every single pitch of a game.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much of the explosion in legalized gambling is happening on cellphones, Missar notes. “It is incredibly easy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He specializes in gambling and video game addictions and says the number of young adults he sees come through his practice has ticked higher in recent years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just that the problem arose when they’re 18,” he says. “It started when they were 13 or 14 … and slowly over those years it became more of a problem.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Freudenberg wishes she had seen the warning signs. But often, she says, online gambling can look the same as texting a friend or watching a video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She thinks removing the guardrails has created a slippery slope for kids: “If my kid had to get in a car, drive to a bank, take out money, drive to a casino, go into the casino, show an ID at the door — he probably wouldn’t be a gambling addict.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a few attempts at rehab, she says, her son is back at college and doing well. Freudenberg helped start a \u003ca href=\"https://parentsstandingtogether.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">support group for parents of teen gamblers\u003c/a>, and their numbers are growing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She fears that, all over the country, there are lots more parents just like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The tsunami is on the horizon,” she says. “And it’s gonna be really, really bad.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"npr-transcript\">\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Transcript:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The legalization of online gambling and sports betting in many states, and all the advertising for it, is raising fears that more young people are getting addicted. Here’s NPR’s Sequoia Carrillo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SEQUOIA CARRILLO, BYLINE: Kim Freudenberg is a high school physics teacher in San Francisco. She’s also the mom of two boys, which, of course, brought the usual anxieties and fears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>KIM FREUDENBERG: Lots of discussions about drugs and alcohol and sex and social media and wearing a helmet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: She knows there are many, many ways that kids, especially boys, can find themselves in trouble before anyone even knows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: Never once did I even think that I needed to say gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: What she didn’t know was that one day, when her oldest son was 11, he was watching someone play video games on live stream and clicked on a link in the comments. It took him to an offshore online casino. There, he got sucked into blackjack, poker, roulette, and he could use items from the video game as money. Soon, he got hooked, but Fredenberg says no one knew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: It’s not like he was just holed up in his room 24/7. Like, he ran track. He played soccer. He was a great student.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Quietly, her son became an addict, winning and losing money, selling things from around the house to keep up with his debts and then eventually stealing money from his parents. Her son ended up dropping out of college at 19. That’s when his mom found out that he had been gambling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: It’s so bad. And parents, I think, are so unaware of what’s happening and how potentially dangerous and life-destroying gambling can be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: It’s a problem educators, researchers and parents like her say is affecting a growing number of young people, most of them boys. In 2018, a key Supreme Court ruling allowed states to legalize sports betting, and that opened the floodgates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MATT MISSAR: I’m a Washington Nationals fan. If I want to bet on the Nationals 15, 20 years ago as a teenager, I’ll go find a bookie and I’ll place a bet. But nowadays, I can bet on every single pitch of a game – ball, strike, ball, strike. I can bet on that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: That’s Matt Missar, an addiction counselor in Pittsburgh specializing in video games and gambling. He says he’s seen a growing number of young people in his practice, even though no one under 18 can gamble legally. So I asked him – how are kids still doing it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MISSAR: It is incredibly easy. Honestly, in the time I spent answering that question, I bet someone could have downloaded three sites, signed up for them and been able to start gambling right away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: A recent national survey from Common Sense Media, the nonprofit group that focuses on kids and concerns around media, found that 36% of boys aged 11 to 17 in the U.S. have gambled in the past year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>MICHAEL ROBB: It’s a lot of kids. Like, a third of kids is a lot of kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Michael Robb is Common Sense Media’s head of research. And he notes that playing fantasy football with friends or making a March Madness bracket may be harmless for kids and can help strengthen male friend groups. But for a small subset of boys, things can get out of control.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ROBB: They’re not all going to have problems. But given how much things have changed in the last couple of years, the way that they are engaging in gambling behaviors is already flashing red signs. Like, something is wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Kim Freudenberg wishes she had seen some of those warning signs. But even for a veteran teacher, often, online gambling can look the same as texting a friend or watching a video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: If my kid had to get in a car, drive to a bank, take out money, drive to a casino, go into the casino, show an ID at the door, he probably wouldn’t be a gambling addict. He wouldn’t have been able to do all of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: After a few attempts at rehab, her son is now back at college and doing well. She helped start a support group for parents, and every week, their numbers keep growing. And she fears that all over the country, there are lots more parents just like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FREUDENBERG: The tsunami is – it’s, like, on the horizon, and it’s going to be really, really bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>CARRILLO: Sequoia Carrillo, NPR News.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>In 2017, psychologist and researcher Jean Twenge published \u003ca href=\"https://www.jeantwenge.com/igen-book-by-dr-jean-twenge/\">\u003cem>iGen\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a book about the first generation to grow up with smartphones. An excerpt in The Atlantic ran under the headline, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/\">“Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”\u003c/a> which drew some backlash for sounding alarmist. “I always point out that it was a question,” Twenge said about how her goal was to explore the issue rather than declare a conclusion. Still, the timing of her concerns struck a chord: \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/02/20/methodology-19-2/\">rates of teen depression were climbing\u003c/a> just as smartphones and social media were becoming widespread. \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8221420/#:~:text=However%2C%20as%20detailed%20below%2C%20a,of%20likely%20cause%20and%20effect.\">Early studies\u003c/a> suggested the more time teens spent on their devices, the more likely they were to report depressive symptoms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge’s new book, \u003ca href=\"https://www.jeantwenge.com/10-rules-for-raising-kids-in-a-high-tech-world/\">\u003cem>10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming From Taking Over Their Kids’ Lives\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, updates her research while offering guidance for families. For Twenge, the subject has grown even more personal. When \u003cem>iGen\u003c/em> was released, her children were ages ten, seven and five. Eight years later, she now has a house full of teenagers, each navigating their own relationship with technology.\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-65910 alignright\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"163\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download.jpg 834w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download-160x246.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download-768x1179.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 163px) 100vw, 163px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much has shifted since 2017. Kids now \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/64953/its-not-too-late-to-read-that-entire-book-with-your-students\">read less\u003c/a> and have \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/attention-spans\">shorter attention spans\u003c/a>, but there’s also growing momentum for \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/65757/more-students-head-back-to-class-without-one-crucial-thing-their-phones\">school phone bans\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.gov.ca.gov/2025/10/08/governor-newsom-signs-data-privacy-bills-to-protect-tech-users/\">regulations around social media and data privacy\u003c/a>. Twenge argues that parents’ strategies need to evolve too. In her book, she offers recommendations, including creating tech-free zones to protect sleep, setting age benchmarks for when kids should get their first phone and helping families establish healthier digital habits even if they feel like it’s “too late” to set new rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The rationale for starting social media later\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Even though kids typically get their \u003ca href=\"https://childmind.org/article/when-should-you-get-your-kid-a-phone/\">first phone between ages 10 and 12\u003c/a>, Twenge recommends that parents wait until age 16 before giving their child a smartphone. While many experts hesitate to set a firm number, she argues that clear benchmarks make decisions about when their children should get a smartphone or social media easier for families.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“So much of the advice that’s out there for parents is vague,” she said. “Every family is different and although there’s some truth to that, it also makes it really hard for parents to make that decision.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To illustrate, Twenge points to driving. Some kids might feel ready at 12, others much later, but \u003ca href=\"https://www.parents.com/driving-age-by-state-8607683\">as a society we commit to a\u003c/a> legal driving age. She believes technology should work the same way. Sixteen, she argues, is an appropriate age because by then most teens are trusted with other responsibilities, like driving and getting around on their own. Research also suggests that \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X21001949#:~:text=Neurodevelopment%20of%20ER%20in%20adolescence,well%20%5B34%2C35%5D.\">older teens have stronger self-regulation skills\u003c/a>, which helps them handle the distractions and pressures of smartphones more safely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Additionally, Twenge recommends waiting until age 16 or later before letting kids use social media, which is later than the current legal minimum of 13.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Sixteen is a nice compromise,” she said. “It’s based on the idea that by then, kids are beyond those intense middle school years, when friend pressures are strongest. They’re more confident in their identities and relationships, and they’re generally more mature and responsible.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Kathy Do, Assistant Project Scientist with the California Institute for Law, Neuroscience and Education, teens are particularly sensitive to the addictive aspects of social media precisely because this is when they’re most attuned to social status.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Peer relationships take on greater importance during adolescence relative to childhood and adulthood. The motivation and reward systems in the brain are more active during adolescence,” she said. “Teenagers show a strong brain response to social rewards — things like praise, attention and inclusion — and to social threats like rejection or being left out.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The digital landscape has shifted dramatically since 2017. Back then, parents could hand a child a flip phone for calls and texts. Today, with smartphones dominating the market, a flip phone can feel impractical or socially isolating. As a middle ground, Twenge points to “light phones” that allow calling and texting but block access to social media, web browsers and potentially harmful apps. Some even come with preset restrictions, like banned dating apps or AI chatbots to give parents more peace of mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Tech free zones and real world freedom\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/65757/more-students-head-back-to-class-without-one-crucial-thing-their-phones\">Schools are already seeing positive results from phone bans\u003c/a>, including students taking greater risks academically because they’re no longer anxious about other students recording permanent digital records of an embarrassing moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At home, Twenge encourages families to establish “no-phone zones” – times and places where devices are limited or off-limits. The most important of these, she argues, is the bedroom at night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I say in the book, if you’re going to stick with just one rule, make it that one,” said Twenge. “Just to preserve sleep, because it’s so important for physical and mental health.” Research consistently \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8776263/\">links late-night screen use to disrupted sleep\u003c/a>, which in turn affects mood, learning and overall well-being.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other no-phone zones might include family dinners or family vacations. Kids are more likely to buy in when parents model the same behavior. “A little bit of digital hypocrisy is okay, but you really do have to be a good role model,” Twenge explained. “If you’re going to say no phones at the family dinner table, then you have to follow that rule yourself as much as you possibly can.” Vacations can be trickier since kids often want to stay connected to friends. In those cases, Twenge suggests designating a short, predictable window for phone use, such as after dinner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When phones are put away, parents can create space for what Twenge calls “real-world freedom.” This means encouraging kids to build independence, life skills and offline social connections. Examples include walking to school, biking to a friend’s house, running errands or helping out at home with chores like laundry or cooking. “And it’s great for parents too,” Twenge added, “because then you don’t have to cook that night.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Is it too late for rules?\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Ideally, stronger regulations would place more responsibility on the companies designing apps that keep users hooked. In the absence of such guardrails, much of the responsibility falls to parents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One of the biggest challenges of modern parenting is that you want to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">be loving but firm\u003c/a>. [You get the best outcomes] when you can do both,” said Twenge. She added that parents can explain the reasoning behind their choices, though it won’t always stop kids from questioning the rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many children already recognize when their own or their friends’ relationships with technology are unhealthy. “Whether it’s one-on-one or when I give talks at middle schools or high schools, that’s the general theme: they know this is a problem. They just don’t always know what to do about it, partially because they feel like all their friends are doing it,” Twenge said. Parents can help by giving kids language they can use with peers, such as “I may not text you back right away because I’m having family dinner” or “I have to keep my phone outside my bedroom when I go to sleep.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For parents who introduced smartphones or apps before age 16, Twenge emphasizes that \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">it’s not too late to make changes\u003c/a>. “It’s a real myth that you can never go back. You absolutely can,” she said. The approach depends on a child’s age. For an 11-year-old with an unrestricted smartphone, she advises rolling back access by replacing it with a flip phone, a basic phone or even no phone at all. For a 15-year-old, parents might allow them to keep the device but add new guardrails.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Put parental controls on it so they can’t download apps on their own,” Twenge suggested. “Then you have to have a conversation about why they want a certain app.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge said that it’s definitely easier to set guidelines before and not change them, but parents shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. “Everybody makes mistakes. I certainly made mistakes in this area as a parent. You just have to own your mistakes and try to correct them.”\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In 2017, psychologist and researcher Jean Twenge published \u003ca href=\"https://www.jeantwenge.com/igen-book-by-dr-jean-twenge/\">\u003cem>iGen\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a book about the first generation to grow up with smartphones. An excerpt in The Atlantic ran under the headline, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/\">“Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”\u003c/a> which drew some backlash for sounding alarmist. “I always point out that it was a question,” Twenge said about how her goal was to explore the issue rather than declare a conclusion. Still, the timing of her concerns struck a chord: \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/02/20/methodology-19-2/\">rates of teen depression were climbing\u003c/a> just as smartphones and social media were becoming widespread. \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8221420/#:~:text=However%2C%20as%20detailed%20below%2C%20a,of%20likely%20cause%20and%20effect.\">Early studies\u003c/a> suggested the more time teens spent on their devices, the more likely they were to report depressive symptoms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge’s new book, \u003ca href=\"https://www.jeantwenge.com/10-rules-for-raising-kids-in-a-high-tech-world/\">\u003cem>10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming From Taking Over Their Kids’ Lives\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, updates her research while offering guidance for families. For Twenge, the subject has grown even more personal. When \u003cem>iGen\u003c/em> was released, her children were ages ten, seven and five. Eight years later, she now has a house full of teenagers, each navigating their own relationship with technology.\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-65910 alignright\" src=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"163\" height=\"250\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download.jpg 834w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download-160x246.jpg 160w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/10/download-768x1179.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 163px) 100vw, 163px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much has shifted since 2017. Kids now \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/64953/its-not-too-late-to-read-that-entire-book-with-your-students\">read less\u003c/a> and have \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/attention-spans\">shorter attention spans\u003c/a>, but there’s also growing momentum for \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/65757/more-students-head-back-to-class-without-one-crucial-thing-their-phones\">school phone bans\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.gov.ca.gov/2025/10/08/governor-newsom-signs-data-privacy-bills-to-protect-tech-users/\">regulations around social media and data privacy\u003c/a>. Twenge argues that parents’ strategies need to evolve too. In her book, she offers recommendations, including creating tech-free zones to protect sleep, setting age benchmarks for when kids should get their first phone and helping families establish healthier digital habits even if they feel like it’s “too late” to set new rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The rationale for starting social media later\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Even though kids typically get their \u003ca href=\"https://childmind.org/article/when-should-you-get-your-kid-a-phone/\">first phone between ages 10 and 12\u003c/a>, Twenge recommends that parents wait until age 16 before giving their child a smartphone. While many experts hesitate to set a firm number, she argues that clear benchmarks make decisions about when their children should get a smartphone or social media easier for families.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“So much of the advice that’s out there for parents is vague,” she said. “Every family is different and although there’s some truth to that, it also makes it really hard for parents to make that decision.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To illustrate, Twenge points to driving. Some kids might feel ready at 12, others much later, but \u003ca href=\"https://www.parents.com/driving-age-by-state-8607683\">as a society we commit to a\u003c/a> legal driving age. She believes technology should work the same way. Sixteen, she argues, is an appropriate age because by then most teens are trusted with other responsibilities, like driving and getting around on their own. Research also suggests that \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X21001949#:~:text=Neurodevelopment%20of%20ER%20in%20adolescence,well%20%5B34%2C35%5D.\">older teens have stronger self-regulation skills\u003c/a>, which helps them handle the distractions and pressures of smartphones more safely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Additionally, Twenge recommends waiting until age 16 or later before letting kids use social media, which is later than the current legal minimum of 13.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Sixteen is a nice compromise,” she said. “It’s based on the idea that by then, kids are beyond those intense middle school years, when friend pressures are strongest. They’re more confident in their identities and relationships, and they’re generally more mature and responsible.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Kathy Do, Assistant Project Scientist with the California Institute for Law, Neuroscience and Education, teens are particularly sensitive to the addictive aspects of social media precisely because this is when they’re most attuned to social status.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Peer relationships take on greater importance during adolescence relative to childhood and adulthood. The motivation and reward systems in the brain are more active during adolescence,” she said. “Teenagers show a strong brain response to social rewards — things like praise, attention and inclusion — and to social threats like rejection or being left out.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The digital landscape has shifted dramatically since 2017. Back then, parents could hand a child a flip phone for calls and texts. Today, with smartphones dominating the market, a flip phone can feel impractical or socially isolating. As a middle ground, Twenge points to “light phones” that allow calling and texting but block access to social media, web browsers and potentially harmful apps. Some even come with preset restrictions, like banned dating apps or AI chatbots to give parents more peace of mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Tech free zones and real world freedom\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/65757/more-students-head-back-to-class-without-one-crucial-thing-their-phones\">Schools are already seeing positive results from phone bans\u003c/a>, including students taking greater risks academically because they’re no longer anxious about other students recording permanent digital records of an embarrassing moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At home, Twenge encourages families to establish “no-phone zones” – times and places where devices are limited or off-limits. The most important of these, she argues, is the bedroom at night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I say in the book, if you’re going to stick with just one rule, make it that one,” said Twenge. “Just to preserve sleep, because it’s so important for physical and mental health.” Research consistently \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8776263/\">links late-night screen use to disrupted sleep\u003c/a>, which in turn affects mood, learning and overall well-being.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other no-phone zones might include family dinners or family vacations. Kids are more likely to buy in when parents model the same behavior. “A little bit of digital hypocrisy is okay, but you really do have to be a good role model,” Twenge explained. “If you’re going to say no phones at the family dinner table, then you have to follow that rule yourself as much as you possibly can.” Vacations can be trickier since kids often want to stay connected to friends. In those cases, Twenge suggests designating a short, predictable window for phone use, such as after dinner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When phones are put away, parents can create space for what Twenge calls “real-world freedom.” This means encouraging kids to build independence, life skills and offline social connections. Examples include walking to school, biking to a friend’s house, running errands or helping out at home with chores like laundry or cooking. “And it’s great for parents too,” Twenge added, “because then you don’t have to cook that night.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Is it too late for rules?\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Ideally, stronger regulations would place more responsibility on the companies designing apps that keep users hooked. In the absence of such guardrails, much of the responsibility falls to parents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One of the biggest challenges of modern parenting is that you want to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">be loving but firm\u003c/a>. [You get the best outcomes] when you can do both,” said Twenge. She added that parents can explain the reasoning behind their choices, though it won’t always stop kids from questioning the rules.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many children already recognize when their own or their friends’ relationships with technology are unhealthy. “Whether it’s one-on-one or when I give talks at middle schools or high schools, that’s the general theme: they know this is a problem. They just don’t always know what to do about it, partially because they feel like all their friends are doing it,” Twenge said. Parents can help by giving kids language they can use with peers, such as “I may not text you back right away because I’m having family dinner” or “I have to keep my phone outside my bedroom when I go to sleep.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For parents who introduced smartphones or apps before age 16, Twenge emphasizes that \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">it’s not too late to make changes\u003c/a>. “It’s a real myth that you can never go back. You absolutely can,” she said. The approach depends on a child’s age. For an 11-year-old with an unrestricted smartphone, she advises rolling back access by replacing it with a flip phone, a basic phone or even no phone at all. For a 15-year-old, parents might allow them to keep the device but add new guardrails.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Put parental controls on it so they can’t download apps on their own,” Twenge suggested. “Then you have to have a conversation about why they want a certain app.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Twenge said that it’s definitely easier to set guidelines before and not change them, but parents shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. “Everybody makes mistakes. I certainly made mistakes in this area as a parent. You just have to own your mistakes and try to correct them.”\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Ruling Our eXperiences’s (ROX) Girls’ Index compiles data taken from a survey of tens of thousands of girls in schools across the country. For the 2023 Girls’ Index, declines in confidence and increased feelings of sadness and depression were seen across the board, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/64715/youth-mental-health-is-declining-school-based-supports-can-help\">which tracks with other surveys of youths\u003c/a>. The top four stressors that girls reported experiencing were school, grades, friendships and family issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One surprise in the survey data, however, was the sharp declines seen in the youngest age group surveyed – 10 and 11 year old girls – according to Lisa Hinkelman, the CEO of ROX.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The 2023 Girls’ Index found that 75% of 5th and 6th grade girls reported feeling high levels of pressure, especially in the four stressors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than half of girls surveyed reported that conflict with other girls, or “girl drama,” discourages them from wanting to attend school; the youngest age group reported the highest percentages of friendship issues at school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Girls who have healthier and more supportive relationships with other girls reported lower levels of sadness and depression,” said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Declining confidence is common with all genders during puberty, according to Jane Mendle, an associate professor of psychology at Cornell University. Mendle, who studies the effects that puberty has on the mental health of adolescents, particularly girls, also said that girls have steeper declines in self-esteem during puberty.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Defining Puberty\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Puberty is not as easily defined as most might think, and on average, it’s about a four year process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Puberty is transformative and it involves change across virtually every domain of life,” said Mendle. Although puberty markers for girls often begin with physical changes and end with menarche – the first menstrual cycle – there are also major changes in behavior, emotions and social relationships, she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Girls who go through puberty earlier than their peers are at an \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2927128/\">increased risk for mental health issues\u003c/a> and, on average, girls are starting \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/19/science/early-puberty-medical-reason.html\">puberty earlier than they had in previous decades\u003c/a>. It’s not uncommon now for the first stages of puberty to begin at age 9 and for the later stages of puberty to begin just under 12 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would not be an exaggeration to say that the average timing of puberty now looks like what we were talking about early pubertal timing in, say, the 1970s or early 80s,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the reasons why earlier puberty can be difficult is because “physical development, cognitive development and emotional development don’t necessarily occur in synchrony,” said Mendle. “When any child begins to exhibit obvious signs of physical development, they’re going to find their world changing. They’re going to be treated differently by other people, and they tend to be granted more autonomy,” said Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because puberty involves significant social changes, girls who go through puberty earlier “may find it difficult to keep up friendships with friends who haven’t developed at similar rates,” said Mendle. “Even though puberty is defined by its biological features, I think of it as a fundamentally social transition and the context in which kids experience it is really formative for how it unfolds,” she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Puberty and Social Media \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Young people now are increasingly tech savvy, and have more access to digital technologies compared to generations prior. In the past, young girls curious about puberty and the changes that accompany it might have gone to their mother or an older sister for advice, said Mendle, but now they might be more interested in TikTok and period tracking apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to decreased confidence, the youngest group surveyed by ROX also saw the largest increase in social media use. In the 2023 report, 95% of 5th and 6th grade girls surveyed said that they use social media, and 46% of those who use social media spent more than six hours per day on those platforms — compared to only 9% in 2017. Other \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/12/11/teens-social-media-and-technology-2023/\">surveys\u003c/a> of teen social media use demonstrate \u003ca href=\"https://news.gallup.com/poll/512576/teens-spend-average-hours-social-media-per-day.aspx\">similar\u003c/a> levels of use.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to the ROX 2023 Girls’ Index, social media use negatively impacts girls’ confidence, quality of sleep and ability to focus in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite these \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/04/teen-social-use-mental-health\">strong correlations between increased social media use\u003c/a> in adolescent girls and decreased confidence, Hinkelman said that it’s important to remember that this does not imply causation. “I do think that [social media] can amplify some of the existing challenges that are happening more for girls,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hinkelman noted that because puberty and access to information and technology is happening earlier, ROX is seeing challenges that have historically affected girls at an older age affecting girls younger and younger. “It’s kind of like they’re getting older, younger,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Impact in Schools\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The effects of girls’ declining mental health and increased social media use factors into a post-pandemic educational landscape that puts strain on educators, said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Chelsea Tabor, a school counselor, said that her students are hyper aware of the permanence of their online footprint. While they rely on social media to connect with friends and maintain relationships, they are also worried about conflict because anything they post online can be screenshot and shared with unintended recipients, said Tabor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That means this behavior and lack of privacy online might discourage girls from having vulnerable conversations when they need to, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In previous years, Tabor has done an exercise with her students as part of their social media hygiene practice. She encourages girls to look at their social media feeds and identify posts that make them feel inadequate or negative. Tabor then suggests that they unfollow those accounts.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Adult and School Support for Girls\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The ROX 2023 Girls’ Index found that two thirds of all parents rarely or never monitor their children’s use of social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Hinkelman, it’s important to invest in educating the adults who influence girls’ lives because “being ten today is really different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.” When it comes to support, the girls surveyed indicated that they need adults in their life to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57108/listen-and-connect-how-parents-can-support-teens-mental-health-right-now\">listen to them without judgment\u003c/a>, said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puberty can be an isolating experience, so parents need to make sure that their kids know that everyone experiences some form of puberty, but that one person’s experience may not be the same as someone else’s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mendle, research shows that girls who know what to expect when it comes to puberty and periods experience less distress after they’ve had their first period. Normalizing conversations about periods and providing opportunities for kids to ask questions is an easy way for parents to help with these expectations, according to Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While social media and the internet are useful tools to gather information about periods, girls continue to report that their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58487/how-parents-can-have-conversations-that-motivate-teens\">parents are the people that they rely on the most\u003c/a> for their information. “But it’s undeniable that kids today are navigating a very, very different world socially and technologically than when a lot of the foundational research on puberty was first done,” said Mendle. Parents can offer to look up information online about periods and puberty with their kids to help them determine accurate and reliable resources.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asking questions is a normal part of puberty, said Mendle, but young people aren’t as informed as they should be when it comes to this transitional life experience. It’s important for adults to be aware of the impacts that the school environment can have on a student’s experience of puberty, she continued. Reminding kids that puberty isn’t only a physical transition, but can also affect relationships and friendships can help students better navigate social settings in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Self Continuity Throughout Puberty\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>When kids go through puberty, they often think that everything is entirely different in their lives. And while kids are going through change, there’s a lot that stays the same. According to Mendle, young people need to be made aware of self continuity throughout puberty — the idea that they are the same person before, during and after. The practice of self continuity is “shown to be associated with buffering the psychological impact of puberty,” said Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids might need help connecting threads of their pre- and post-pubescent self, Mendle continued. Parents can help connect these threads by talking to their kids about the similarities and differences between school settings during this four-year transition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also important to remember that as kids go through puberty their interests and extracurricular activities might change, said Mendle. Being aware of these possible changes, and making sure that new activities and interests involve some similarities — like friends or time outdoors — to previous activities is key.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Ruling Our eXperiences’s (ROX) Girls’ Index compiles data taken from a survey of tens of thousands of girls in schools across the country. For the 2023 Girls’ Index, declines in confidence and increased feelings of sadness and depression were seen across the board, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/64715/youth-mental-health-is-declining-school-based-supports-can-help\">which tracks with other surveys of youths\u003c/a>. The top four stressors that girls reported experiencing were school, grades, friendships and family issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One surprise in the survey data, however, was the sharp declines seen in the youngest age group surveyed – 10 and 11 year old girls – according to Lisa Hinkelman, the CEO of ROX.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The 2023 Girls’ Index found that 75% of 5th and 6th grade girls reported feeling high levels of pressure, especially in the four stressors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than half of girls surveyed reported that conflict with other girls, or “girl drama,” discourages them from wanting to attend school; the youngest age group reported the highest percentages of friendship issues at school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Girls who have healthier and more supportive relationships with other girls reported lower levels of sadness and depression,” said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Declining confidence is common with all genders during puberty, according to Jane Mendle, an associate professor of psychology at Cornell University. Mendle, who studies the effects that puberty has on the mental health of adolescents, particularly girls, also said that girls have steeper declines in self-esteem during puberty.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Defining Puberty\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Puberty is not as easily defined as most might think, and on average, it’s about a four year process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Puberty is transformative and it involves change across virtually every domain of life,” said Mendle. Although puberty markers for girls often begin with physical changes and end with menarche – the first menstrual cycle – there are also major changes in behavior, emotions and social relationships, she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Girls who go through puberty earlier than their peers are at an \u003ca href=\"https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2927128/\">increased risk for mental health issues\u003c/a> and, on average, girls are starting \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/19/science/early-puberty-medical-reason.html\">puberty earlier than they had in previous decades\u003c/a>. It’s not uncommon now for the first stages of puberty to begin at age 9 and for the later stages of puberty to begin just under 12 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It would not be an exaggeration to say that the average timing of puberty now looks like what we were talking about early pubertal timing in, say, the 1970s or early 80s,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the reasons why earlier puberty can be difficult is because “physical development, cognitive development and emotional development don’t necessarily occur in synchrony,” said Mendle. “When any child begins to exhibit obvious signs of physical development, they’re going to find their world changing. They’re going to be treated differently by other people, and they tend to be granted more autonomy,” said Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because puberty involves significant social changes, girls who go through puberty earlier “may find it difficult to keep up friendships with friends who haven’t developed at similar rates,” said Mendle. “Even though puberty is defined by its biological features, I think of it as a fundamentally social transition and the context in which kids experience it is really formative for how it unfolds,” she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Puberty and Social Media \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Young people now are increasingly tech savvy, and have more access to digital technologies compared to generations prior. In the past, young girls curious about puberty and the changes that accompany it might have gone to their mother or an older sister for advice, said Mendle, but now they might be more interested in TikTok and period tracking apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to decreased confidence, the youngest group surveyed by ROX also saw the largest increase in social media use. In the 2023 report, 95% of 5th and 6th grade girls surveyed said that they use social media, and 46% of those who use social media spent more than six hours per day on those platforms — compared to only 9% in 2017. Other \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/12/11/teens-social-media-and-technology-2023/\">surveys\u003c/a> of teen social media use demonstrate \u003ca href=\"https://news.gallup.com/poll/512576/teens-spend-average-hours-social-media-per-day.aspx\">similar\u003c/a> levels of use.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to the ROX 2023 Girls’ Index, social media use negatively impacts girls’ confidence, quality of sleep and ability to focus in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite these \u003ca href=\"https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/04/teen-social-use-mental-health\">strong correlations between increased social media use\u003c/a> in adolescent girls and decreased confidence, Hinkelman said that it’s important to remember that this does not imply causation. “I do think that [social media] can amplify some of the existing challenges that are happening more for girls,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hinkelman noted that because puberty and access to information and technology is happening earlier, ROX is seeing challenges that have historically affected girls at an older age affecting girls younger and younger. “It’s kind of like they’re getting older, younger,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Impact in Schools\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The effects of girls’ declining mental health and increased social media use factors into a post-pandemic educational landscape that puts strain on educators, said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Chelsea Tabor, a school counselor, said that her students are hyper aware of the permanence of their online footprint. While they rely on social media to connect with friends and maintain relationships, they are also worried about conflict because anything they post online can be screenshot and shared with unintended recipients, said Tabor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That means this behavior and lack of privacy online might discourage girls from having vulnerable conversations when they need to, she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In previous years, Tabor has done an exercise with her students as part of their social media hygiene practice. She encourages girls to look at their social media feeds and identify posts that make them feel inadequate or negative. Tabor then suggests that they unfollow those accounts.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Adult and School Support for Girls\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The ROX 2023 Girls’ Index found that two thirds of all parents rarely or never monitor their children’s use of social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Hinkelman, it’s important to invest in educating the adults who influence girls’ lives because “being ten today is really different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.” When it comes to support, the girls surveyed indicated that they need adults in their life to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57108/listen-and-connect-how-parents-can-support-teens-mental-health-right-now\">listen to them without judgment\u003c/a>, said Hinkelman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puberty can be an isolating experience, so parents need to make sure that their kids know that everyone experiences some form of puberty, but that one person’s experience may not be the same as someone else’s.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mendle, research shows that girls who know what to expect when it comes to puberty and periods experience less distress after they’ve had their first period. Normalizing conversations about periods and providing opportunities for kids to ask questions is an easy way for parents to help with these expectations, according to Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While social media and the internet are useful tools to gather information about periods, girls continue to report that their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58487/how-parents-can-have-conversations-that-motivate-teens\">parents are the people that they rely on the most\u003c/a> for their information. “But it’s undeniable that kids today are navigating a very, very different world socially and technologically than when a lot of the foundational research on puberty was first done,” said Mendle. Parents can offer to look up information online about periods and puberty with their kids to help them determine accurate and reliable resources.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asking questions is a normal part of puberty, said Mendle, but young people aren’t as informed as they should be when it comes to this transitional life experience. It’s important for adults to be aware of the impacts that the school environment can have on a student’s experience of puberty, she continued. Reminding kids that puberty isn’t only a physical transition, but can also affect relationships and friendships can help students better navigate social settings in school.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Self Continuity Throughout Puberty\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>When kids go through puberty, they often think that everything is entirely different in their lives. And while kids are going through change, there’s a lot that stays the same. According to Mendle, young people need to be made aware of self continuity throughout puberty — the idea that they are the same person before, during and after. The practice of self continuity is “shown to be associated with buffering the psychological impact of puberty,” said Mendle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids might need help connecting threads of their pre- and post-pubescent self, Mendle continued. Parents can help connect these threads by talking to their kids about the similarities and differences between school settings during this four-year transition.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also important to remember that as kids go through puberty their interests and extracurricular activities might change, said Mendle. Being aware of these possible changes, and making sure that new activities and interests involve some similarities — like friends or time outdoors — to previous activities is key.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Every coach has seen it. The gangly teenager lunging for a basketball, coming at it too fast and fumbling it out of bounds. The tentative hitter flailing at a pitch seconds after it has landed in the catcher’s glove—strike 3!—and then slumping off to the bench. The volatile first singles player smacking his serves into the net, again and again, growing more furious with every fault.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter the sport, it’s the coach’s job to help players fix their mistakes. But how best to correct them, so that instead of feeling wounded or demoralized, the kid feels motivated to improve? Coaches will typically opt for one of two approaches: identifying the mistake and offering blunt corrections or downplaying the error to boost the kid’s confidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Parents have the same default settings when confronted with their children’s mistakes and misbehavior: They’re tough enforcers or gentle protectors, sometimes vacillating between postures or falling for the compliment sandwich, a criticism hidden between two bits of feeble praise, which doesn’t fool anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Yeager, author of “\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/10-to-25/David-Yeager/9781668023884\">10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People\u003c/a>,” calls this predicament the Mentor’s Dilemma: the challenge in correcting a mentee’s work without shattering her confidence. It’s especially tricky to get right when working with adolescents, because young people need guidance that includes corrections, but they are also highly sensitive to criticism from respected adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grown-ups will not break through to teenagers without appreciating teenagers’ neurobiological longing for status and respect, which Yeager equates to babies’ need for food and sleep. Yeager suggests adopting a mentor’s mindset, which is grounded in this basic understanding of the teenage brain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The mentor’s mindset shatters the idea that influential adults must be either tough guys or a soft touch. “Neither approach is good,” Yeager told me. What adolescents need are corrections \u003cem>with\u003c/em> encouragement. “Keep high standards and give more support,” he said. Honest feedback works when it is accompanied by moral support and clarity on how to get better.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Care and Expectations\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>To start, coaches need to make clear and frequent statements about their high expectations and sincere care for their players, especially given the power imbalance between them. Adolescents already suffer from the discrepancy between their need for esteem and their relative powerlessness in schools. If the coach is not transparent about his concern for the young person, even thoughtful criticism can be misinterpreted. The best coaches are “hyper-explicit” about caring for the kids on the team, Yeager said, so that the teenagers understand that the coaches’ corrections are motivated by genuine concern rather than the urge to control. Adults who work with young people may not realize how top-of-mind the imbalance of power between them weighs on adolescents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Effective coach mentors also focus strictly on the process rather than outcomes. When coaches celebrate wins and criticize mistakes, they’re suggesting that what matters most is the result, not player growth. It’s more motivating to help athletes develop what they can control—their form, mechanics, attitude, effort—and to let the result take care of itself. A longtime coach of multiple sports, Yeager also encourages accumulating data on players and sharing it with them to inspire effort. Tangible progress in the weightroom, for example, can motivate athletes to improve.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Real Questions for Real Answers\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Rather than tell players what they did wrong, a wise coach also asks questions to elicit change. But not any old questions: asking a detached 10\u003csup>th\u003c/sup> grade basketball player why his head isn’t in the game will not prompt reflection or inspire improvement. What mentors do is ask genuine questions that are grounded in a desire to learn what the player is thinking and that reveal an understanding of the young person’s perspective. Such questioning could sound like this: “I appreciate that you have a lot of distractions this week with mid-terms. I also know that you care about improving your game. Can you help me understand what you think is slowing you down on the court?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thoughtful questions build relationships, promote collaboration and spur improvement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Research found that kids in the classroom are motivated to persevere during (what most would consider) boring drills when they could connect those activities to a larger purpose: kids who had been asked to consider what issues or problems mattered to them, then reminded that a sound education and hard work would equip them to address these concerns, were better able to focus on the unglamorous side of learning. The same logic holds in sports. Coach mentors who find a way to connect drills, stretching and other ho-hum activities as a necessary steppingstone to the players’ purpose beyond mere self-interest—like supporting the team—will inspire more concentration and effort.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeager explains how Chip Engelland, a shooting coach for several top NBA players, married high standards with ample support to improve athletes’ games. When analyzing one player’s flawed shot, Engelland was direct about what needed to change while expressing confidence in the player’s ability to do so. He organized rigorous practices that focused on the precise skills the player needed to master. When the young man erred, Engelland asked questions—starting with “how did that feel?”—to nudge the player to figure out for himself how to adjust. Engelland maintained his demanding standards and offered consistent support despite frustrations and setbacks, all the while promoting the player’s autonomy. “’As a coach, I’m constantly trying to get young players to take feedback without feeling threatened,’” he told Yeager, adding that, “’it’s fundamentally about the balance between challenge and safety.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mentors like Engelland start from the position that young people are capable and good-natured. Though their behavior might seem foolish or illogical to an adult, their position makes sense to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s best to embrace “the most generous interpretation” of an adolescent’s conduct, as advised by parenting expert \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/11544588-finding-the-good-inside-can-often-come-from-asking-ourselves\">Dr. Becky Kennedy\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Every coach has seen it. The gangly teenager lunging for a basketball, coming at it too fast and fumbling it out of bounds. The tentative hitter flailing at a pitch seconds after it has landed in the catcher’s glove—strike 3!—and then slumping off to the bench. The volatile first singles player smacking his serves into the net, again and again, growing more furious with every fault.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter the sport, it’s the coach’s job to help players fix their mistakes. But how best to correct them, so that instead of feeling wounded or demoralized, the kid feels motivated to improve? Coaches will typically opt for one of two approaches: identifying the mistake and offering blunt corrections or downplaying the error to boost the kid’s confidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Parents have the same default settings when confronted with their children’s mistakes and misbehavior: They’re tough enforcers or gentle protectors, sometimes vacillating between postures or falling for the compliment sandwich, a criticism hidden between two bits of feeble praise, which doesn’t fool anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Yeager, author of “\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/10-to-25/David-Yeager/9781668023884\">10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People\u003c/a>,” calls this predicament the Mentor’s Dilemma: the challenge in correcting a mentee’s work without shattering her confidence. It’s especially tricky to get right when working with adolescents, because young people need guidance that includes corrections, but they are also highly sensitive to criticism from respected adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grown-ups will not break through to teenagers without appreciating teenagers’ neurobiological longing for status and respect, which Yeager equates to babies’ need for food and sleep. Yeager suggests adopting a mentor’s mindset, which is grounded in this basic understanding of the teenage brain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The mentor’s mindset shatters the idea that influential adults must be either tough guys or a soft touch. “Neither approach is good,” Yeager told me. What adolescents need are corrections \u003cem>with\u003c/em> encouragement. “Keep high standards and give more support,” he said. Honest feedback works when it is accompanied by moral support and clarity on how to get better.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Care and Expectations\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>To start, coaches need to make clear and frequent statements about their high expectations and sincere care for their players, especially given the power imbalance between them. Adolescents already suffer from the discrepancy between their need for esteem and their relative powerlessness in schools. If the coach is not transparent about his concern for the young person, even thoughtful criticism can be misinterpreted. The best coaches are “hyper-explicit” about caring for the kids on the team, Yeager said, so that the teenagers understand that the coaches’ corrections are motivated by genuine concern rather than the urge to control. Adults who work with young people may not realize how top-of-mind the imbalance of power between them weighs on adolescents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Effective coach mentors also focus strictly on the process rather than outcomes. When coaches celebrate wins and criticize mistakes, they’re suggesting that what matters most is the result, not player growth. It’s more motivating to help athletes develop what they can control—their form, mechanics, attitude, effort—and to let the result take care of itself. A longtime coach of multiple sports, Yeager also encourages accumulating data on players and sharing it with them to inspire effort. Tangible progress in the weightroom, for example, can motivate athletes to improve.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Real Questions for Real Answers\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Rather than tell players what they did wrong, a wise coach also asks questions to elicit change. But not any old questions: asking a detached 10\u003csup>th\u003c/sup> grade basketball player why his head isn’t in the game will not prompt reflection or inspire improvement. What mentors do is ask genuine questions that are grounded in a desire to learn what the player is thinking and that reveal an understanding of the young person’s perspective. Such questioning could sound like this: “I appreciate that you have a lot of distractions this week with mid-terms. I also know that you care about improving your game. Can you help me understand what you think is slowing you down on the court?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thoughtful questions build relationships, promote collaboration and spur improvement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Research found that kids in the classroom are motivated to persevere during (what most would consider) boring drills when they could connect those activities to a larger purpose: kids who had been asked to consider what issues or problems mattered to them, then reminded that a sound education and hard work would equip them to address these concerns, were better able to focus on the unglamorous side of learning. The same logic holds in sports. Coach mentors who find a way to connect drills, stretching and other ho-hum activities as a necessary steppingstone to the players’ purpose beyond mere self-interest—like supporting the team—will inspire more concentration and effort.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeager explains how Chip Engelland, a shooting coach for several top NBA players, married high standards with ample support to improve athletes’ games. When analyzing one player’s flawed shot, Engelland was direct about what needed to change while expressing confidence in the player’s ability to do so. He organized rigorous practices that focused on the precise skills the player needed to master. When the young man erred, Engelland asked questions—starting with “how did that feel?”—to nudge the player to figure out for himself how to adjust. Engelland maintained his demanding standards and offered consistent support despite frustrations and setbacks, all the while promoting the player’s autonomy. “’As a coach, I’m constantly trying to get young players to take feedback without feeling threatened,’” he told Yeager, adding that, “’it’s fundamentally about the balance between challenge and safety.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mentors like Engelland start from the position that young people are capable and good-natured. Though their behavior might seem foolish or illogical to an adult, their position makes sense to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s best to embrace “the most generous interpretation” of an adolescent’s conduct, as advised by parenting expert \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/11544588-finding-the-good-inside-can-often-come-from-asking-ourselves\">Dr. Becky Kennedy\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>It’s common for students to introduce themselves to reading specialist \u003ca href=\"https://x.com/BenisonMrs/\">Belkys Benison\u003c/a> as a “non-reader.” Students come into her \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/43049/20-tips-to-help-de-escalate-interactions-with-anxious-or-defiant-students\">classroom angry, anxious\u003c/a> or feeling incapable because of their struggles in the classroom. These kinds of student reactions reflect how students are \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">made to feel\u003c/a> about themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s why she makes sure to acknowledge their feelings, past academic experiences and their capacity to learn so she can prepare them to learn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students are led to believe that their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58155/grades-have-huge-impact-but-are-they-effective\">academic success\u003c/a> determines their future success, so when they’re told they’re deficient in skills like reading, it “can be really damaging to their sense of self-worth” and threaten their sense of belonging, said \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/27014/anxious-about-tests-tips-to-ease-angst\">Geoffrey Cohen\u003c/a>, a social psychologist Stanford University professor. He is also author of the book, “\u003ca href=\"https://digitaleducation.stanford.edu/book-series/2023/Geoffrey-Cohen-belonging-science-creating-connection-bridging-divides\">Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides\u003c/a>.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Benison knows students can feel this way, so she gives them persistent positive feedback and fosters a safe learning environment to slowly build trust with students who may have come into their first lessons reluctant and lacking confidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Benison likes to use affirming phrases like “you’re capable of doing hard things,” “hard things are worth doing” or, “I know it’s hard, but you’re not doing it alone.” These reassurances need to be repeated a lot when she begins working with students in order to remove anxiety or de-escalate any stress that might come up during lessons. And of course, she’s there to provide the learning support to ensure the student can achieve their goals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Cohen, these types of positive messages, when conveyed credibly, “can really undo a lot of the damage of these past experiences that these kids come in with.” When re-building trust with students is successful, expectations of those students can also be adjusted to reflect that they are capable of academic success and achievement, said Cohen. This process can help to open students’ “minds to a new way of looking at their academic experience,” he continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Fostering belonging during adolescence \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Feeling a sense of belonging is important at any age, but in adolescence, those feelings can be heightened. Sometimes, feedback from a student’s larger culture or community can trigger feelings of inadequacy when belonging isn’t there, according to Andrew Fuligni, the co-executive director of the \u003ca href=\"https://developingadolescent.semel.ucla.edu/\">Center for the Developing Adolescent at UCLA. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents are building an identity, which involves discovering things that you are good at, said Fuligni. When students are told that they have fallen behind in a particular skill, it can damage their sense of belonging; the feelings are heightened because adolescents are particularly prone to internalizing the messages they hear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many students \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/36603/new-research-students-benefit-from-learning-that-intelligence-is-not-fixed\">mistakenly believe that academic ability is fixed\u003c/a> rather than a developed skill, said Fuligni. Creating a \u003ca href=\"https://video.kqed.org/video/brief-but-spectacular-1715723919/\">growth culture\u003c/a> in the classroom, especially “cooperative learning situations where kids of varying abilities are working together towards a higher standard,” can help to foster a sense of belonging for students who are behind, Cohen added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Generally, remediation just sends a message that you need help and that message can be pretty threatening,” said Cohen. It’s often assumed that “poor performance reflects poor ability but that’s not the case. It’s often a lack of preparation,” he continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The role of teachers and adults\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/59687/middle-schoolers-are-social-what-opportunity-does-that-create-for-learning\">Adolescence is a critical developmental period\u003c/a>, during which students “are trying to figure out the trustworthiness of institutions, and people like teachers,” said Cohen. For members of marginalized groups, “the extra question is ‘how will they treat people like me?’,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents are particularly attuned to figuring out where they fit in and care deeply about social status, and that’s not going to change for that age group. That means adults bear the responsibility of controlling how they respond, and they can help students who are behind have a positive outcome through small acts and comments of affirmation, according to Fuligni.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Affirming the contributions, the ideas and the values of all of our students really can go a long way,” said Fuligni. When a student’s contributions and skills are affirmed in these small ways, it cultivates a sense of trust and lets them see that they are “valued members of the community.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Seeing progress\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>According to Benison, who teaches students up to sixth grade, sharing a student’s reading progress with them can be a helpful way to boost their confidence, and reinforce the trust between student and teacher. Setting very clear goals and allowing students to consistently see their own success helps students to continually build upon their knowledge and skill set, said Benison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I teach in a way that they know they’re growing,” she continued. Benison doesn’t share the initial intake information with her students because she doesn’t want students to define themselves by the original data. But she periodically shares students’ progress with them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When her students make mistakes, Benison takes note and makes necessary adjustments to include that skill in every lesson until that learning is reinforced. According to Benison, allowing students to correct their own work, without the pressure of a grade, helps students to recognize their own growth. In May of each year, Benison takes time to look back to the start of the year with each student to show them how much they’ve learned and grown.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I know that when I teach them how to read, and I encourage them to do difficult things, I’m not just letting them get through the day, but I’m preparing them for their future,” said Benison.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It’s common for students to introduce themselves to reading specialist \u003ca href=\"https://x.com/BenisonMrs/\">Belkys Benison\u003c/a> as a “non-reader.” Students come into her \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/43049/20-tips-to-help-de-escalate-interactions-with-anxious-or-defiant-students\">classroom angry, anxious\u003c/a> or feeling incapable because of their struggles in the classroom. These kinds of student reactions reflect how students are \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">made to feel\u003c/a> about themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s why she makes sure to acknowledge their feelings, past academic experiences and their capacity to learn so she can prepare them to learn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Students are led to believe that their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/58155/grades-have-huge-impact-but-are-they-effective\">academic success\u003c/a> determines their future success, so when they’re told they’re deficient in skills like reading, it “can be really damaging to their sense of self-worth” and threaten their sense of belonging, said \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/27014/anxious-about-tests-tips-to-ease-angst\">Geoffrey Cohen\u003c/a>, a social psychologist Stanford University professor. He is also author of the book, “\u003ca href=\"https://digitaleducation.stanford.edu/book-series/2023/Geoffrey-Cohen-belonging-science-creating-connection-bridging-divides\">Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides\u003c/a>.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Benison knows students can feel this way, so she gives them persistent positive feedback and fosters a safe learning environment to slowly build trust with students who may have come into their first lessons reluctant and lacking confidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Benison likes to use affirming phrases like “you’re capable of doing hard things,” “hard things are worth doing” or, “I know it’s hard, but you’re not doing it alone.” These reassurances need to be repeated a lot when she begins working with students in order to remove anxiety or de-escalate any stress that might come up during lessons. And of course, she’s there to provide the learning support to ensure the student can achieve their goals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Cohen, these types of positive messages, when conveyed credibly, “can really undo a lot of the damage of these past experiences that these kids come in with.” When re-building trust with students is successful, expectations of those students can also be adjusted to reflect that they are capable of academic success and achievement, said Cohen. This process can help to open students’ “minds to a new way of looking at their academic experience,” he continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Fostering belonging during adolescence \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Feeling a sense of belonging is important at any age, but in adolescence, those feelings can be heightened. Sometimes, feedback from a student’s larger culture or community can trigger feelings of inadequacy when belonging isn’t there, according to Andrew Fuligni, the co-executive director of the \u003ca href=\"https://developingadolescent.semel.ucla.edu/\">Center for the Developing Adolescent at UCLA. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents are building an identity, which involves discovering things that you are good at, said Fuligni. When students are told that they have fallen behind in a particular skill, it can damage their sense of belonging; the feelings are heightened because adolescents are particularly prone to internalizing the messages they hear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many students \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/36603/new-research-students-benefit-from-learning-that-intelligence-is-not-fixed\">mistakenly believe that academic ability is fixed\u003c/a> rather than a developed skill, said Fuligni. Creating a \u003ca href=\"https://video.kqed.org/video/brief-but-spectacular-1715723919/\">growth culture\u003c/a> in the classroom, especially “cooperative learning situations where kids of varying abilities are working together towards a higher standard,” can help to foster a sense of belonging for students who are behind, Cohen added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Generally, remediation just sends a message that you need help and that message can be pretty threatening,” said Cohen. It’s often assumed that “poor performance reflects poor ability but that’s not the case. It’s often a lack of preparation,” he continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The role of teachers and adults\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/59687/middle-schoolers-are-social-what-opportunity-does-that-create-for-learning\">Adolescence is a critical developmental period\u003c/a>, during which students “are trying to figure out the trustworthiness of institutions, and people like teachers,” said Cohen. For members of marginalized groups, “the extra question is ‘how will they treat people like me?’,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Adolescents are particularly attuned to figuring out where they fit in and care deeply about social status, and that’s not going to change for that age group. That means adults bear the responsibility of controlling how they respond, and they can help students who are behind have a positive outcome through small acts and comments of affirmation, according to Fuligni.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Affirming the contributions, the ideas and the values of all of our students really can go a long way,” said Fuligni. When a student’s contributions and skills are affirmed in these small ways, it cultivates a sense of trust and lets them see that they are “valued members of the community.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Seeing progress\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>According to Benison, who teaches students up to sixth grade, sharing a student’s reading progress with them can be a helpful way to boost their confidence, and reinforce the trust between student and teacher. Setting very clear goals and allowing students to consistently see their own success helps students to continually build upon their knowledge and skill set, said Benison.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I teach in a way that they know they’re growing,” she continued. Benison doesn’t share the initial intake information with her students because she doesn’t want students to define themselves by the original data. But she periodically shares students’ progress with them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When her students make mistakes, Benison takes note and makes necessary adjustments to include that skill in every lesson until that learning is reinforced. According to Benison, allowing students to correct their own work, without the pressure of a grade, helps students to recognize their own growth. In May of each year, Benison takes time to look back to the start of the year with each student to show them how much they’ve learned and grown.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I know that when I teach them how to read, and I encourage them to do difficult things, I’m not just letting them get through the day, but I’m preparing them for their future,” said Benison.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat,” Bride says. “The last search on his phone before he ended his life was for hacks to find out who was doing this to him.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shortly after her son’s death, Bride joined \u003ca href=\"https://www.parentssos.org/\">Parents for Safe Online Spaces\u003c/a>, an organization of families who lost their children after they were exposed to toxic online content. Some died by suicide after cyberbullying or sextortion; others after participating in viral challenges involving self-harm or taking drugs sold by online dealers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bride is also part of an ongoing effort on Capitol Hill to craft legislation that would hold social media sites and other tech companies \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60788/3-reasons-why-seattle-schools-are-suing-big-tech-over-a-youth-mental-health-crisis\">accountable\u003c/a> for keeping minors safe online.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/3360x5040+0+0/resize/1200/quality/75/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fe3%2F1d%2Fb09b7a2c413babd07b647e2a62e2%2Fkosa-kids-online-safety-act-2529.jpg\" alt=\"Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat. 'Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat.\">\u003cfigcaption>Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat. “Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat. \u003ccite> (Erika Layne Salazar)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Last year, a group of bipartisan senators introduced the Kids Online Safety Act, a groundbreaking piece of legislation addressing \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">growing concern from parents\u003c/a> about the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">impact of online and social media platforms\u003c/a> on children and teens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The legislation passed the Senate with strong bipartisan support earlier this week, and the measure now heads to the Republican-led House.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>New law will require companies to limit harmful content\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The last time Congress passed a law to protect children on the internet was in 1998 — before Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">smartphones\u003c/a>. The legislation would require tech companies to implement measures to help protect kids from exposure to harmful content.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For example, companies would be prohibited from using algorithms to push content that underage users did not specifically search for. This addresses a huge concern of parents and advocates: that kids are targeted with content that promotes harmful behavior, such as eating disorders, sexual exploitation and substance abuse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill would also raise the maximum age of children covered under the law to 17; ban companies from collecting data from minors, including biometric indicators such as fingerprints, voiceprints and facial imagery; and improve parental controls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Josh Golin is the executive director of \u003ca href=\"https://fairplayforkids.org/\">Fairplay\u003c/a>, a nonprofit working to protect kids from marketing and dangerous online content from Big Tech.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For the first time ever, social media and other online platforms will have a legal responsibility to consider how they are impacting children,” Golin says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Golin says it’s important for online platforms and members of Congress to recognize that regulating the use of social media for their kids has become overwhelming for families.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No parent is looking for “another full-time job,” he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We need to put the responsibility back on where it belongs, which is on these companies who are the ones controlling what these kids are seeing. We need to ensure that these kids are not being sent down such dangerous rabbit holes,” says Golin.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Advocates hope new law will help fight cyberbullying\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Parent advocates of the bill say the new requirements will make it easier to protect their kids from becoming victims of cyberbullying. They say more parent-friendly user settings will make it easier to control what their kids are exposed to online.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kristin Bride says the anonymous messaging feature on Snapchat ultimately led to her son’s death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I absolutely believe that my son would be alive if this legislation was in place at the time,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While cyberbullying is not directly called out in the legislation, its impacts — \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61671/teens-say-social-media-is-stressing-them-out-heres-how-to-help-them\">anxiety, depression, suicidal and self-harming behaviors\u003c/a> — are addressed, says Vaishnavi J., founder of Vyanams Strategies, an organization that advises companies on how to create safer tech products for children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Cyberbullying is a really challenging issue to navigate because it’s so coded and it’s constantly evolving,” says J.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>J. notes that cyberbullying disproportionately impacts girls and young women of color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They are typically under-represented from marginalized communities. They aren’t getting the range of societal support they deserve,” J. says. “That tends to extend to online as well.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>J. also says \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills\">boys are under-represented\u003c/a> in the research when it comes to cyberbullying, something that she says isn’t talked about enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boys “don’t tend to tell you that they’re being harassed or bullied. Instead, they choose to suffer in silence … and that’s a real problem,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All 50 states have laws against bullying, and every state — except Wisconsin and Alaska — include specific references to cyberbullying. Currently, there are no federal laws that criminalize cyberbullying.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>More challenges lie ahead\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Along with the safety bill, the Senate also passed online privacy legislation that would prohibit online companies from collecting personal information from kids under the age of 17 without their consent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even though the online safety bill has broad bipartisan support, some lawmakers argue that the legislation could violate free speech rights. Others are concerned that the new regulations could \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2024/07/30/nx-s1-5056195/its-taken-2-years-to-get-the-kids-online-safety-act-to-this-point\">prevent some kids from accessing information on LGBTQ+ issues\u003c/a> or reproductive rights.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Social media companies including Microsoft, X and Snapchat have voiced support for the measure, while TikTok and Meta have called it unconstitutional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/3360x5040+0+0/resize/1200/quality/75/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2f%2F47%2F210528074694b25d0cf6103e5e7c%2Fkosa-kids-online-safety-act-2525.jpg\" alt=\"Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying.\">\u003cfigcaption>Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying. \u003ccite> (Erika Layne Salazar)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer says there’s still more work to be done to regulate online protections for kids, but the new online safety law would be a step in the right direction. The bill now heads to the Republican-led House where Speaker Mike Johnson has signaled support for the legislation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying. Molak is urging every House member to vote in favor of what she says is a game-changing bill.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s game-changing for young people. It’s game-changing for families,” she says. “I hear it over and over again that it’s like a game of Whac-A-Mole. As soon as parents figure out to keep their kids safe on one platform — three more pop up.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat,” Bride says. “The last search on his phone before he ended his life was for hacks to find out who was doing this to him.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shortly after her son’s death, Bride joined \u003ca href=\"https://www.parentssos.org/\">Parents for Safe Online Spaces\u003c/a>, an organization of families who lost their children after they were exposed to toxic online content. Some died by suicide after cyberbullying or sextortion; others after participating in viral challenges involving self-harm or taking drugs sold by online dealers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bride is also part of an ongoing effort on Capitol Hill to craft legislation that would hold social media sites and other tech companies \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60788/3-reasons-why-seattle-schools-are-suing-big-tech-over-a-youth-mental-health-crisis\">accountable\u003c/a> for keeping minors safe online.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/3360x5040+0+0/resize/1200/quality/75/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fe3%2F1d%2Fb09b7a2c413babd07b647e2a62e2%2Fkosa-kids-online-safety-act-2529.jpg\" alt=\"Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat. 'Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat.\">\u003cfigcaption>Kristin Bride lost her 16-year-old son, Carson, to suicide in 2020. She says shortly before he took his own life he was bullied on the social media site Snapchat. “Carson received over 100 harassing and sexually explicit texts from his high school classmates through an anonymous messaging app on Snapchat. \u003ccite> (Erika Layne Salazar)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Last year, a group of bipartisan senators introduced the Kids Online Safety Act, a groundbreaking piece of legislation addressing \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">growing concern from parents\u003c/a> about the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">impact of online and social media platforms\u003c/a> on children and teens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The legislation passed the Senate with strong bipartisan support earlier this week, and the measure now heads to the Republican-led House.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>New law will require companies to limit harmful content\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The last time Congress passed a law to protect children on the internet was in 1998 — before Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">smartphones\u003c/a>. The legislation would require tech companies to implement measures to help protect kids from exposure to harmful content.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For example, companies would be prohibited from using algorithms to push content that underage users did not specifically search for. This addresses a huge concern of parents and advocates: that kids are targeted with content that promotes harmful behavior, such as eating disorders, sexual exploitation and substance abuse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill would also raise the maximum age of children covered under the law to 17; ban companies from collecting data from minors, including biometric indicators such as fingerprints, voiceprints and facial imagery; and improve parental controls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Josh Golin is the executive director of \u003ca href=\"https://fairplayforkids.org/\">Fairplay\u003c/a>, a nonprofit working to protect kids from marketing and dangerous online content from Big Tech.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For the first time ever, social media and other online platforms will have a legal responsibility to consider how they are impacting children,” Golin says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Golin says it’s important for online platforms and members of Congress to recognize that regulating the use of social media for their kids has become overwhelming for families.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No parent is looking for “another full-time job,” he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We need to put the responsibility back on where it belongs, which is on these companies who are the ones controlling what these kids are seeing. We need to ensure that these kids are not being sent down such dangerous rabbit holes,” says Golin.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Advocates hope new law will help fight cyberbullying\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Parent advocates of the bill say the new requirements will make it easier to protect their kids from becoming victims of cyberbullying. They say more parent-friendly user settings will make it easier to control what their kids are exposed to online.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kristin Bride says the anonymous messaging feature on Snapchat ultimately led to her son’s death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I absolutely believe that my son would be alive if this legislation was in place at the time,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While cyberbullying is not directly called out in the legislation, its impacts — \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61671/teens-say-social-media-is-stressing-them-out-heres-how-to-help-them\">anxiety, depression, suicidal and self-harming behaviors\u003c/a> — are addressed, says Vaishnavi J., founder of Vyanams Strategies, an organization that advises companies on how to create safer tech products for children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Cyberbullying is a really challenging issue to navigate because it’s so coded and it’s constantly evolving,” says J.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>J. notes that cyberbullying disproportionately impacts girls and young women of color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“They are typically under-represented from marginalized communities. They aren’t getting the range of societal support they deserve,” J. says. “That tends to extend to online as well.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>J. also says \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills\">boys are under-represented\u003c/a> in the research when it comes to cyberbullying, something that she says isn’t talked about enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boys “don’t tend to tell you that they’re being harassed or bullied. Instead, they choose to suffer in silence … and that’s a real problem,” she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All 50 states have laws against bullying, and every state — except Wisconsin and Alaska — include specific references to cyberbullying. Currently, there are no federal laws that criminalize cyberbullying.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>More challenges lie ahead\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>Along with the safety bill, the Senate also passed online privacy legislation that would prohibit online companies from collecting personal information from kids under the age of 17 without their consent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even though the online safety bill has broad bipartisan support, some lawmakers argue that the legislation could violate free speech rights. Others are concerned that the new regulations could \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2024/07/30/nx-s1-5056195/its-taken-2-years-to-get-the-kids-online-safety-act-to-this-point\">prevent some kids from accessing information on LGBTQ+ issues\u003c/a> or reproductive rights.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Social media companies including Microsoft, X and Snapchat have voiced support for the measure, while TikTok and Meta have called it unconstitutional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\">\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/3360x5040+0+0/resize/1200/quality/75/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2f%2F47%2F210528074694b25d0cf6103e5e7c%2Fkosa-kids-online-safety-act-2525.jpg\" alt=\"Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying.\">\u003cfigcaption>Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying. \u003ccite> (Erika Layne Salazar)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer says there’s still more work to be done to regulate online protections for kids, but the new online safety law would be a step in the right direction. The bill now heads to the Republican-led House where Speaker Mike Johnson has signaled support for the legislation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maurine Molak is among the families who worked with the Senate to get the bill passed. She lost her 16-year-old son, David, to suicide after months of relentless online threats and cyberbullying. Molak is urging every House member to vote in favor of what she says is a game-changing bill.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s game-changing for young people. It’s game-changing for families,” she says. “I hear it over and over again that it’s like a game of Whac-A-Mole. As soon as parents figure out to keep their kids safe on one platform — three more pop up.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the parent of a tween and a young teenager, I couldn’t help but think of these Taylor Swift lyrics when reading the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-024-03243-y\">findings of a new study\u003c/a> that looks at the links between parenting strategies and screen use among young adolescents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The study looked at data from more than 10,000 12- and 13-year-olds and their parents, who were asked about their screen-use habits, including texting, social media, video chatting, watching videos and browsing the internet. The researchers also asked whether their screen use was problematic — for example, whether kids wanted to quit using screens but felt they couldn’t or whether their screen habits interfered with school work or daily life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One key finding that jumped out at me: One of the biggest predictors of how much time kids spend on screens — and whether that use is problematic — is how much parents themselves use their screens when they are around their kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>“\u003c/em>It’s really important to role-model screen behaviors for your children,” says \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.ucsf.edu/jason.nagata\">Jason Nagata\u003c/a>, a pediatrician at the University of California, San Francisco and the lead author of the study, which appears in the journal \u003cem>Pediatric Research\u003c/em>. “Even if teens say that they don’t get influenced by their parents, the data does show that, actually, parents are a bigger influence than they may think.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s very common for parents like myself to feel guilty about their own screen use, says \u003ca href=\"https://midas.umich.edu/faculty-member/jenny-radesky/\">Jenny Radesky\u003c/a>, a developmental behavioral pediatrician and media researcher at the University of Michigan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But instead of beating ourselves up about it, she says, it’s important for parents to realize that just like kids, we too are vulnerable to the draws of technology that is deliberately designed to keep us scrolling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have been asked to parent around an increasingly complex digital ecosystem that’s actively working against our limit-setting” — for ourselves and our kids, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But even if parents are fighting against bigger forces designed to keep us glued to screens, that doesn’t mean we are completely helpless. Nagata’s research looked at parenting strategies that worked best to curb screen use specifically among early adolescents because, he notes, this is a time when kids are seeking more independence and “because we tend to see kids spending a lot more time on media once they hit their teenage years.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, what does work?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of the study’s findings seem fairly obvious: Keeping meal times and bedtime screen-free are strategies strongly linked to kids spending less time on screens and exhibiting less problematic screen use. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.sleephealthjournal.org/article/S2352-7218(23)00034-7/fulltext\">Nagata’s prior research\u003c/a> has found that keeping screens out of the bedroom is a good strategy, because having a device in the bedroom was linked to trouble falling and staying asleep in preteens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As for that finding that parental screen use also really matters, Radesky says it echoes what she often hears from teens in her work as co-medical director of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ \u003ca href=\"https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/center-of-excellence-on-social-media-and-youth-mental-health/\">Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We’ve heard a lot from teenagers that when their parents are using their phones, they’re really stuck on their own social media accounts — they just look unavailable,” Radesky says. “They don’t look like they’re ready and available for a teen to come up and talk and be a sounding board.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given the addictive design of technology, Radesky says the message shouldn’t be to blame the parents. The message should be to talk with your kids about why you feel so pulled in by screens. Ask, “Why do I spend so much time on this app? Is it time that I feel is really meaningful and adding to my day? Or is it time that I’d love to replace with other things?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She says she favors this collaborative approach to setting boundaries around screen use for young tweens and teens, rather than using screens as a reward or punishment to control behavior. In fact, the new study shows that, at least with this age group, using screens as a reward or punishment can actually backfire — it was linked to kids spending more time on their devices.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, Radesky says it’s better to set consistent family guidelines around screen use, so kids know when they can and can’t use them without obsessing about “earning” screen time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And when it comes to tweens and teens, coming up with these rules together can be a good way to get kids to buy into boundaries — and to help both them and their parents break bad screen habits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=What+we+do+%28and+don%27t%29+know+about+teacher+shortages%2C+and+what+can+be+done+about+them&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the parent of a tween and a young teenager, I couldn’t help but think of these Taylor Swift lyrics when reading the \u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-024-03243-y\">findings of a new study\u003c/a> that looks at the links between parenting strategies and screen use among young adolescents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The study looked at data from more than 10,000 12- and 13-year-olds and their parents, who were asked about their screen-use habits, including texting, social media, video chatting, watching videos and browsing the internet. The researchers also asked whether their screen use was problematic — for example, whether kids wanted to quit using screens but felt they couldn’t or whether their screen habits interfered with school work or daily life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One key finding that jumped out at me: One of the biggest predictors of how much time kids spend on screens — and whether that use is problematic — is how much parents themselves use their screens when they are around their kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>“\u003c/em>It’s really important to role-model screen behaviors for your children,” says \u003ca href=\"https://profiles.ucsf.edu/jason.nagata\">Jason Nagata\u003c/a>, a pediatrician at the University of California, San Francisco and the lead author of the study, which appears in the journal \u003cem>Pediatric Research\u003c/em>. “Even if teens say that they don’t get influenced by their parents, the data does show that, actually, parents are a bigger influence than they may think.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s very common for parents like myself to feel guilty about their own screen use, says \u003ca href=\"https://midas.umich.edu/faculty-member/jenny-radesky/\">Jenny Radesky\u003c/a>, a developmental behavioral pediatrician and media researcher at the University of Michigan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But instead of beating ourselves up about it, she says, it’s important for parents to realize that just like kids, we too are vulnerable to the draws of technology that is deliberately designed to keep us scrolling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have been asked to parent around an increasingly complex digital ecosystem that’s actively working against our limit-setting” — for ourselves and our kids, she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But even if parents are fighting against bigger forces designed to keep us glued to screens, that doesn’t mean we are completely helpless. Nagata’s research looked at parenting strategies that worked best to curb screen use specifically among early adolescents because, he notes, this is a time when kids are seeking more independence and “because we tend to see kids spending a lot more time on media once they hit their teenage years.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So, what does work?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of the study’s findings seem fairly obvious: Keeping meal times and bedtime screen-free are strategies strongly linked to kids spending less time on screens and exhibiting less problematic screen use. And \u003ca href=\"https://www.sleephealthjournal.org/article/S2352-7218(23)00034-7/fulltext\">Nagata’s prior research\u003c/a> has found that keeping screens out of the bedroom is a good strategy, because having a device in the bedroom was linked to trouble falling and staying asleep in preteens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As for that finding that parental screen use also really matters, Radesky says it echoes what she often hears from teens in her work as co-medical director of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ \u003ca href=\"https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/center-of-excellence-on-social-media-and-youth-mental-health/\">Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We’ve heard a lot from teenagers that when their parents are using their phones, they’re really stuck on their own social media accounts — they just look unavailable,” Radesky says. “They don’t look like they’re ready and available for a teen to come up and talk and be a sounding board.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given the addictive design of technology, Radesky says the message shouldn’t be to blame the parents. The message should be to talk with your kids about why you feel so pulled in by screens. Ask, “Why do I spend so much time on this app? Is it time that I feel is really meaningful and adding to my day? Or is it time that I’d love to replace with other things?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She says she favors this collaborative approach to setting boundaries around screen use for young tweens and teens, rather than using screens as a reward or punishment to control behavior. In fact, the new study shows that, at least with this age group, using screens as a reward or punishment can actually backfire — it was linked to kids spending more time on their devices.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, Radesky says it’s better to set consistent family guidelines around screen use, so kids know when they can and can’t use them without obsessing about “earning” screen time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And when it comes to tweens and teens, coming up with these rules together can be a good way to get kids to buy into boundaries — and to help both them and their parents break bad screen habits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2024 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=What+we+do+%28and+don%27t%29+know+about+teacher+shortages%2C+and+what+can+be+done+about+them&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Path-to-Purpose/William-Damon/9781416537243\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Having a purpose\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> comes with benefits, according to \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/heathermalin\">Heather Malin\u003c/a>, a consultant and former director of research at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://coa.stanford.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stanford Center on Adolescence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When students identify a greater purpose in what they learn at school, their academic performance, persistence and social belonging rise, Malin said during a talk at the recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/conference-514/teaching-engaged-brains/\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/a> conference. The most purposeful people have many intentions, she said. “They seem to get boundless energy from having a lot of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52620/four-pillars-of-a-meaningful-life-that-could-be-part-of-every-learning-community\">meaningful intentions\u003c/a> for their lives.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So how can schools tap into the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57946/striving-or-thriving-steps-to-help-kids-find-balance-and-purpose\">power of purpose\u003c/a>? Malin pointed to her purpose learning framework, a four-part set of recommendations for educators, distilled from her work at Stanford, as well as the work of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://openfutureinstitute.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Open Future Institute’s QUESTion Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and other research rooted in purpose learning. According to Malin, purpose learning helps students explore and connect with their deeper whys. This approach provides “space at school for students to discover who they are, what they want in life, and how they want to be in the world,” she said. In some of her research that is not yet published, alumni of purpose learning programs have reported improved relationships with teachers and peers.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin identified three dimensions of purpose that teachers can help students explore:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Generalized and meaningful intention\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – This involves the student’s understanding of who they want to be in the world and informs how they set goals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Beyond-the-self motivation\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – Engaging students in issues outside their own lived experiences and helping them find ways to contribute empowers them with the skills and mindset to live a purposeful life.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Goal-directed action\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – Because \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57424/the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">future planning is challenging for teens\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, they need support in learning to set and work toward goals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teen brains are neurologically wired to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">seek excitement and new stimuli\u003c/a>. “If we can align school learning activity to that exploratory process, we have a powerful way to motivate teens,” Malin said. Focusing on purpose can do that. “It engages that novelty seeking, risk taking, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62189/school-shapes-teens-identities-and-relationships-what-role-do-teachers-play\">identity forming\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills\">social engagement\u003c/a> that are so rewarding for adolescent brains.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 1: Self-exploration\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The first step in the purpose learning framework is inviting students to self-discovery with questions such as:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Are there any societal or cultural influences that have shaped your values?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How well do you think your family of origins values align with your personal values?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-exploration discussions allow students to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell\">foster deeper connections with their peers\u003c/a> and teachers that can allow for deeper learning. “[The students] didn’t realize they had so many shared experiences, challenges, hopes and worries,” she said regarding \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60120/helicopter-teaching-how-using-student-feedback-can-help-with-that\">student feedback\u003c/a> she and her team received during research.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 2: Look outward\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Prompting students to look outward, the second step of the framework, can help them to define their own sense of purpose. “Self-awareness is important, but it’s meaningless if we have no idea how to connect our inner self to the world beyond ourselves,” said Malin. This process often includes exercises in social awareness and social responsibility, such as interviewing a member of the community. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 3: Future planning\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The third step of the purpose learning framework is engaging students in forward thinking and future planning. “The mechanics of looking forward, looking to the future with a goal setting and planning approach can be much more challenging for adolescents,” so it’s important that teachers scaffold these forward looking steps for students, said Malin.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 4: Action\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When it comes to taking action, the fourth step of Malin’s framework, educators can encourage students to do meaningful work outside the classroom and in their community. Adolescents often feel discouraged from \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61388/why-nashville-student-activists-arent-going-to-wait-a-generation-for-gun-control\">real-world change making\u003c/a> because of their youth, Malin said. “Teens need \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62163/are-dress-codes-fair-how-one-middle-school-transformed-its-rules-for-what-students-wear\">real opportunities\u003c/a> to do things in the world,” and “they need opportunities to reflect on how their actions impact others,” she said. According to Malin, action and well-being are associated with more engaged students, but, “our school system is largely set up to inhibit this kind of real world learning.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin advocates for a less traditional approach to learning that is more aligned to adolescent brains. “If we want to really motivate students in school, we need to be giving them opportunities to have an impact beyond the classroom.” According to Malin, one way to do this is by giving educators opportunities to collaborate and connect. “We’ve found that when teachers have the opportunity to talk about what they’ve experienced, they actually can inspire each other to come up with solutions.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin recommended starting a purpose learning approach as early as possible so that students are familiar with the framework by high school. Teachers at the high school level should start “with the understanding that it’s really vulnerable to do this, that students aren’t sure what they’re doing … so you can ease them into it,” Malin said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin emphasized that she sees educators as the experts when incorporating the purpose learning framework into their curriculum. She said some teachers have used advisory periods or elective classes to incorporate the purpose learning framework into an otherwise full curriculum. Others have included the ideas in wide-ranging courses, like health or communications. Another public middle school with a large student population reworked their schedule to include a 15 minute block every day after lunch dedicated to the purpose learning framework. Malin is currently building out a network for educators to exchange resources, information and teaching strategies rooted in purpose learning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Path-to-Purpose/William-Damon/9781416537243\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Having a purpose\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> comes with benefits, according to \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/heathermalin\">Heather Malin\u003c/a>, a consultant and former director of research at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://coa.stanford.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stanford Center on Adolescence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When students identify a greater purpose in what they learn at school, their academic performance, persistence and social belonging rise, Malin said during a talk at the recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/conference-514/teaching-engaged-brains/\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/a> conference. The most purposeful people have many intentions, she said. “They seem to get boundless energy from having a lot of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52620/four-pillars-of-a-meaningful-life-that-could-be-part-of-every-learning-community\">meaningful intentions\u003c/a> for their lives.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So how can schools tap into the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57946/striving-or-thriving-steps-to-help-kids-find-balance-and-purpose\">power of purpose\u003c/a>? Malin pointed to her purpose learning framework, a four-part set of recommendations for educators, distilled from her work at Stanford, as well as the work of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://openfutureinstitute.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Open Future Institute’s QUESTion Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and other research rooted in purpose learning. According to Malin, purpose learning helps students explore and connect with their deeper whys. This approach provides “space at school for students to discover who they are, what they want in life, and how they want to be in the world,” she said. In some of her research that is not yet published, alumni of purpose learning programs have reported improved relationships with teachers and peers.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin identified three dimensions of purpose that teachers can help students explore:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Generalized and meaningful intention\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – This involves the student’s understanding of who they want to be in the world and informs how they set goals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Beyond-the-self motivation\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – Engaging students in issues outside their own lived experiences and helping them find ways to contribute empowers them with the skills and mindset to live a purposeful life.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Goal-directed action\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – Because \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57424/the-two-types-of-independence-growing-tweens-need-to-practice\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">future planning is challenging for teens\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, they need support in learning to set and work toward goals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teen brains are neurologically wired to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61026/10-things-to-know-about-how-social-media-affects-teens-brains\">seek excitement and new stimuli\u003c/a>. “If we can align school learning activity to that exploratory process, we have a powerful way to motivate teens,” Malin said. Focusing on purpose can do that. “It engages that novelty seeking, risk taking, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62189/school-shapes-teens-identities-and-relationships-what-role-do-teachers-play\">identity forming\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63456/6-ways-educators-can-bolster-boys-social-skills\">social engagement\u003c/a> that are so rewarding for adolescent brains.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 1: Self-exploration\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The first step in the purpose learning framework is inviting students to self-discovery with questions such as:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Are there any societal or cultural influences that have shaped your values?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How well do you think your family of origins values align with your personal values?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-exploration discussions allow students to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell\">foster deeper connections with their peers\u003c/a> and teachers that can allow for deeper learning. “[The students] didn’t realize they had so many shared experiences, challenges, hopes and worries,” she said regarding \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60120/helicopter-teaching-how-using-student-feedback-can-help-with-that\">student feedback\u003c/a> she and her team received during research.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 2: Look outward\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Prompting students to look outward, the second step of the framework, can help them to define their own sense of purpose. “Self-awareness is important, but it’s meaningless if we have no idea how to connect our inner self to the world beyond ourselves,” said Malin. This process often includes exercises in social awareness and social responsibility, such as interviewing a member of the community. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 3: Future planning\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The third step of the purpose learning framework is engaging students in forward thinking and future planning. “The mechanics of looking forward, looking to the future with a goal setting and planning approach can be much more challenging for adolescents,” so it’s important that teachers scaffold these forward looking steps for students, said Malin.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Step 4: Action\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When it comes to taking action, the fourth step of Malin’s framework, educators can encourage students to do meaningful work outside the classroom and in their community. Adolescents often feel discouraged from \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61388/why-nashville-student-activists-arent-going-to-wait-a-generation-for-gun-control\">real-world change making\u003c/a> because of their youth, Malin said. “Teens need \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62163/are-dress-codes-fair-how-one-middle-school-transformed-its-rules-for-what-students-wear\">real opportunities\u003c/a> to do things in the world,” and “they need opportunities to reflect on how their actions impact others,” she said. According to Malin, action and well-being are associated with more engaged students, but, “our school system is largely set up to inhibit this kind of real world learning.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin advocates for a less traditional approach to learning that is more aligned to adolescent brains. “If we want to really motivate students in school, we need to be giving them opportunities to have an impact beyond the classroom.” According to Malin, one way to do this is by giving educators opportunities to collaborate and connect. “We’ve found that when teachers have the opportunity to talk about what they’ve experienced, they actually can inspire each other to come up with solutions.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin recommended starting a purpose learning approach as early as possible so that students are familiar with the framework by high school. Teachers at the high school level should start “with the understanding that it’s really vulnerable to do this, that students aren’t sure what they’re doing … so you can ease them into it,” Malin said.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Malin emphasized that she sees educators as the experts when incorporating the purpose learning framework into their curriculum. She said some teachers have used advisory periods or elective classes to incorporate the purpose learning framework into an otherwise full curriculum. Others have included the ideas in wide-ranging courses, like health or communications. Another public middle school with a large student population reworked their schedule to include a 15 minute block every day after lunch dedicated to the purpose learning framework. Malin is currently building out a network for educators to exchange resources, information and teaching strategies rooted in purpose learning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>How many times per day do you check your phone? According to Gloria Mark, psychologist and author of \u003ca href=\"https://gloriamark.com/attention-span/\">\u003cem>Attention Span\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, people swipe from screen to screen about 566 times per day, and about half of those switches are self-motivated, meaning they weren’t prompted by a notification.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Digital technologies have been innovated quicker than humans are capable of processing, and our new tools and social media are designed to keep us tapping and swiping. This has become an issue that impedes attention span because “the mind has a limited pool of cognitive resources,” said Mark, who is a professor of informatics at the University of California, Irvine. \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0360131519301642#:~:text=Students%20used%20their%20phones%20for,min%20for%20over%20a%20minute.&text=Predictors%20of%20in%2Dclass%20usage,class%20size%2C%20and%20lecture%20organization.\">In a 2019 study\u003c/a> of 84 college students in Korea, Mark’s colleagues found that the students spent 28% of class duration \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">distracted on smartphones\u003c/a>. These tech distractions were also associated with lower grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, most of the time that we spend interacting with digital technology like smartphones is done unconsciously. But our brains like our bodies experience fatigue, and when we are overloaded with an impossible amount of tech distractions, executive function is negatively affected. When executive function is maxed out “it affects our ability to filter out distractions and stay on path,” Mark said during her recent keynote talk at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/a> conference.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her research, Mark has identified three myths of attention span and tech use. Understanding these myths can help teachers and parents \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">guide young people\u003c/a> in maintaining – and regaining – focus throughout the school day.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of endless focus\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, the first myth is assuming that when computers are used “we should strive to be focused as long as possible.” That’s not realistic, she said. When we try to focus on rigorous tasks for long periods on screens without taking breaks to restore our cognitive resources, “our minds can also get injured, and it’s called burnout,” she said. Focus is a limited resource and can fluctuate depending on how engaged or challenged a student feels. So, when teachers strike a balance between harder and simpler tasks in the classroom, it gives students a chance to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">regain cognitive and executive function\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of multitasking\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Myth number two of attention span is multitasking. As humans, “we cannot parallel process unless one of those activities is automatic,” said Mark. Not only does multitasking impair accuracy with individual tasks, “the nail in the coffin is that multitasking creates more stress,” she continued. So when students are switching from task to task and from screen to screen, not only is their executive function declining, but their stress levels are rising. In their research, Mark and her colleagues have found “a correlation with the amount of attention shifting and [participants’] reports of perceived stress,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of self-discipline\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The third myth of attention span and tech is that lack of focus is due to low self-discipline. Social media algorithms appeal to our desire to gravitate towards rewards-based social systems, said Mark. For young people, social media can \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">play a big role in social connection\u003c/a>. Receiving affirmation from others is important to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62189/school-shapes-teens-identities-and-relationships-what-role-do-teachers-play\">teens’ identity development\u003c/a>, and social media is highly scalable, so teens also gain social capital from likes and online interactions. Because social media and smartphone use is so time consuming and ingrained in identity building, “there’s this competition of interest between what the teacher is talking about and what your friend is saying on the phone,” Mark said. “And it’s probably way more interesting to pay attention to what your friend is saying.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Solutions\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Mark sees the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63470/indiana-lawmakers-ban-cellphones-in-class-now-its-up-to-schools-to-figure-out-how\">banning of smartphones\u003c/a> from the classroom as a social equalizer for students in K-12 education. Students should be encouraged to “always put a person, a human being before a smartphone,” said Mark. She said that setting this social standard can appeal to adolescents’ natural desire to be part of a group.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Finding what might seem like infinite ways to keep students engaged and happy throughout the day can be daunting. But Mark recommended simple teaching strategies like playing short games, incorporating funny and engaging static cartoons throughout a lesson, class-wide meditation and allowing for small group participation. These teaching strategies pair well with the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122271/#:~:text=The%20broaden%2Dand%2Dbuild%20theory%20posits%20that%20experiences%20of%20positive,to%20social%20and%20psychological%20resources.\">broaden and build theory\u003c/a>, which hypothesizes that “the capacity to experience positive emotions may be a fundamental human strength.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, teachers can help students hone in on their attention by practicing forethought and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63441/10-hacks-to-boost-teens-executive-function-skills-and-manage-screen-time\">imagining a future self\u003c/a>. Because this is a skill that teens have to build from scratch, “for a young person, it could be their future self at the end of the day,” said Mark. Having a sense of concrete future visualization will \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school\">help students stay goal-oriented\u003c/a>, even if the goals seem small. Eventually, goals can be set farther in the future, like planning for the weekend, or even for the next academic semester, she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During an interview, Mark stressed the importance of the integration of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63390/ai-images-and-conspiracy-theories-are-driving-a-push-for-media-literacy-education\">media literacy\u003c/a> into the curriculum. It is important for young people to learn about the importance of mono-tasking, and dangers of media overuse, said Mark. But it is also imperative that students understand the dangers of misinformation, disinformation and cyberbullying.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>How many times per day do you check your phone? According to Gloria Mark, psychologist and author of \u003ca href=\"https://gloriamark.com/attention-span/\">\u003cem>Attention Span\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, people swipe from screen to screen about 566 times per day, and about half of those switches are self-motivated, meaning they weren’t prompted by a notification.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Digital technologies have been innovated quicker than humans are capable of processing, and our new tools and social media are designed to keep us tapping and swiping. This has become an issue that impedes attention span because “the mind has a limited pool of cognitive resources,” said Mark, who is a professor of informatics at the University of California, Irvine. \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0360131519301642#:~:text=Students%20used%20their%20phones%20for,min%20for%20over%20a%20minute.&text=Predictors%20of%20in%2Dclass%20usage,class%20size%2C%20and%20lecture%20organization.\">In a 2019 study\u003c/a> of 84 college students in Korea, Mark’s colleagues found that the students spent 28% of class duration \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62004/so-your-tween-wants-a-smartphone-read-this-first\">distracted on smartphones\u003c/a>. These tech distractions were also associated with lower grades.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, most of the time that we spend interacting with digital technology like smartphones is done unconsciously. But our brains like our bodies experience fatigue, and when we are overloaded with an impossible amount of tech distractions, executive function is negatively affected. When executive function is maxed out “it affects our ability to filter out distractions and stay on path,” Mark said during her recent keynote talk at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.learningandthebrain.com/\">Learning and The Brain: Teaching Engaged Brains\u003c/a> conference.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her research, Mark has identified three myths of attention span and tech use. Understanding these myths can help teachers and parents \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">guide young people\u003c/a> in maintaining – and regaining – focus throughout the school day.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of endless focus\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, the first myth is assuming that when computers are used “we should strive to be focused as long as possible.” That’s not realistic, she said. When we try to focus on rigorous tasks for long periods on screens without taking breaks to restore our cognitive resources, “our minds can also get injured, and it’s called burnout,” she said. Focus is a limited resource and can fluctuate depending on how engaged or challenged a student feels. So, when teachers strike a balance between harder and simpler tasks in the classroom, it gives students a chance to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63497/parents-make-mistakes-when-setting-screen-time-rules-for-their-kids-thats-ok\">regain cognitive and executive function\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of multitasking\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Myth number two of attention span is multitasking. As humans, “we cannot parallel process unless one of those activities is automatic,” said Mark. Not only does multitasking impair accuracy with individual tasks, “the nail in the coffin is that multitasking creates more stress,” she continued. So when students are switching from task to task and from screen to screen, not only is their executive function declining, but their stress levels are rising. In their research, Mark and her colleagues have found “a correlation with the amount of attention shifting and [participants’] reports of perceived stress,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The myth of self-discipline\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The third myth of attention span and tech is that lack of focus is due to low self-discipline. Social media algorithms appeal to our desire to gravitate towards rewards-based social systems, said Mark. For young people, social media can \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62233/how-to-help-your-kids-navigate-social-media-without-getting-lost\">play a big role in social connection\u003c/a>. Receiving affirmation from others is important to \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62189/school-shapes-teens-identities-and-relationships-what-role-do-teachers-play\">teens’ identity development\u003c/a>, and social media is highly scalable, so teens also gain social capital from likes and online interactions. Because social media and smartphone use is so time consuming and ingrained in identity building, “there’s this competition of interest between what the teacher is talking about and what your friend is saying on the phone,” Mark said. “And it’s probably way more interesting to pay attention to what your friend is saying.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>Solutions\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Mark sees the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63470/indiana-lawmakers-ban-cellphones-in-class-now-its-up-to-schools-to-figure-out-how\">banning of smartphones\u003c/a> from the classroom as a social equalizer for students in K-12 education. Students should be encouraged to “always put a person, a human being before a smartphone,” said Mark. She said that setting this social standard can appeal to adolescents’ natural desire to be part of a group.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Finding what might seem like infinite ways to keep students engaged and happy throughout the day can be daunting. But Mark recommended simple teaching strategies like playing short games, incorporating funny and engaging static cartoons throughout a lesson, class-wide meditation and allowing for small group participation. These teaching strategies pair well with the \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3122271/#:~:text=The%20broaden%2Dand%2Dbuild%20theory%20posits%20that%20experiences%20of%20positive,to%20social%20and%20psychological%20resources.\">broaden and build theory\u003c/a>, which hypothesizes that “the capacity to experience positive emotions may be a fundamental human strength.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to Mark, teachers can help students hone in on their attention by practicing forethought and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63441/10-hacks-to-boost-teens-executive-function-skills-and-manage-screen-time\">imagining a future self\u003c/a>. Because this is a skill that teens have to build from scratch, “for a young person, it could be their future self at the end of the day,” said Mark. Having a sense of concrete future visualization will \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50947/how-reverse-planning-for-goals-can-help-students-succeed-in-school\">help students stay goal-oriented\u003c/a>, even if the goals seem small. Eventually, goals can be set farther in the future, like planning for the weekend, or even for the next academic semester, she continued.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During an interview, Mark stressed the importance of the integration of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63390/ai-images-and-conspiracy-theories-are-driving-a-push-for-media-literacy-education\">media literacy\u003c/a> into the curriculum. It is important for young people to learn about the importance of mono-tasking, and dangers of media overuse, said Mark. But it is also imperative that students understand the dangers of misinformation, disinformation and cyberbullying.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "Indiana Lawmakers Ban Cellphones in Class. Now It's Up to Schools to Figure Out How",
"headTitle": "Indiana Lawmakers Ban Cellphones in Class. Now It’s Up to Schools to Figure Out How | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>School officials in Indiana are looking forward to class without the buzz of cellphones next school year. A \u003ca href=\"https://iga.in.gov/legislative/2024/bills/senate/185/details\">new law\u003c/a> with heavy bipartisan support requires school districts to adopt policies banning students from having wireless devices during class time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The law applies to cellphones, tablets, laptops or gaming devices. It allows exemptions for educational purposes with a teacher’s permission, in emergencies or to manage health care. Students can also use technology if they have a disability or as part of an individualized education program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Florida passed a similar law last year and Kentucky, Vermont, Tennessee and Kansas are considering it. Supporters say the laws reduce \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/01/11/577101803/a-schools-way-to-fight-phones-in-class-lock-em-up\">distractions in the classroom\u003c/a>, cut down on bullying through social media and encourage more in-person interaction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many schools in the state — and elsewhere — already had these bans on their own. Now others will have to adopt them, though the law doesn’t spell out how to enforce them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Bloomfield, a professor of education leadership, law and policy at Brooklyn College and the City University of New York Graduate Center, said the law means more work for schools and staff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The cellphones have to be removed from their persons, and they have to be stored somewhere away from that individual,” he said. “That’s going to take time. It’s going to take expense, and it’s going to take enforcement.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bloomfield said some schools use technology-blocking software, but that raises questions about how students can use their phones in emergencies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He also said the law’s lack of specific enforcement measures could lead to racial disparities in how the policies — or penalties — are applied.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s easy for states to require districts to have policies, but they’re really offloading the job to school districts, and then obviously to schools to enforce those policies,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Indiana Rep. Julie McGuire, a Republican and one of the sponsors of the bill in the legislature, said some teachers now don’t have the power to confiscate phones even when they create a distraction. She said the new law will reduce problematic behavior around social media and teach students to replace screen time with more face-to-face communication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“While we cannot control the amount of time students spend on social media outside school hours, we can provide reprieve during the seven hours per day that should be focused on learning,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Democratic Rep. Matt Pierce opposed the bill, questioning the need for mandating what he said should be obvious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“From the policy perspective, it makes sense,” he said. “The other part of me is like, really? We need a bill so a school corporation can have a common-sense policy telling its kids not to use these devices? I was going to vote against this bill just because I don’t think it’s needed, but now I’ve got somebody telling me that you’ve got a school somewhere that’s telling some teacher they can’t just take the darn phone away. I don’t get it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill was signed by Indiana’s Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb in early March. and the law takes effect July 1.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some districts, like Indianapolis Public Schools, will not be largely affected by the new law because they already have similar policies in place. Other districts vary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Westfield Washington School District, communications director Joshua Andrews said high school students there can only have their phones at lunch and between classes. However, middle school students cannot use their phones at all during the school day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When you change something that big, it kind of makes people recoil a little bit. But, there’s been little to no problems with it since we’ve rolled it out,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other districts are still in the process of developing policies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Terry Terhune, superintendent at Greenwood Community School Corp., said students at his schools generally aren’t supposed to have their phones out during class unless they have a teacher’s permission. However, the rules vary by grade level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One of my goals is to try to meet with some of our neighboring school districts and see kind of where everybody lands on that,” he said. “Within our county, Johnson County, I would like to try to be consistent with other districts. But again, everybody’s going to have their own opinion on those things.”\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Kirsten Adair covers education for Indiana Public Broadcasting.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2024 IPB News. To see more, visit \u003ca>IPB News\u003c/a>.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Indiana+lawmakers+ban+cellphones+in+class.+Now+it%27s+up+to+schools+to+figure+out+how&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>School officials in Indiana are looking forward to class without the buzz of cellphones next school year. A \u003ca href=\"https://iga.in.gov/legislative/2024/bills/senate/185/details\">new law\u003c/a> with heavy bipartisan support requires school districts to adopt policies banning students from having wireless devices during class time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The law applies to cellphones, tablets, laptops or gaming devices. It allows exemptions for educational purposes with a teacher’s permission, in emergencies or to manage health care. Students can also use technology if they have a disability or as part of an individualized education program.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Florida passed a similar law last year and Kentucky, Vermont, Tennessee and Kansas are considering it. Supporters say the laws reduce \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/01/11/577101803/a-schools-way-to-fight-phones-in-class-lock-em-up\">distractions in the classroom\u003c/a>, cut down on bullying through social media and encourage more in-person interaction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many schools in the state — and elsewhere — already had these bans on their own. Now others will have to adopt them, though the law doesn’t spell out how to enforce them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Bloomfield, a professor of education leadership, law and policy at Brooklyn College and the City University of New York Graduate Center, said the law means more work for schools and staff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The cellphones have to be removed from their persons, and they have to be stored somewhere away from that individual,” he said. “That’s going to take time. It’s going to take expense, and it’s going to take enforcement.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bloomfield said some schools use technology-blocking software, but that raises questions about how students can use their phones in emergencies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He also said the law’s lack of specific enforcement measures could lead to racial disparities in how the policies — or penalties — are applied.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s easy for states to require districts to have policies, but they’re really offloading the job to school districts, and then obviously to schools to enforce those policies,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Indiana Rep. Julie McGuire, a Republican and one of the sponsors of the bill in the legislature, said some teachers now don’t have the power to confiscate phones even when they create a distraction. She said the new law will reduce problematic behavior around social media and teach students to replace screen time with more face-to-face communication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“While we cannot control the amount of time students spend on social media outside school hours, we can provide reprieve during the seven hours per day that should be focused on learning,” she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Democratic Rep. Matt Pierce opposed the bill, questioning the need for mandating what he said should be obvious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“From the policy perspective, it makes sense,” he said. “The other part of me is like, really? We need a bill so a school corporation can have a common-sense policy telling its kids not to use these devices? I was going to vote against this bill just because I don’t think it’s needed, but now I’ve got somebody telling me that you’ve got a school somewhere that’s telling some teacher they can’t just take the darn phone away. I don’t get it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bill was signed by Indiana’s Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb in early March. and the law takes effect July 1.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some districts, like Indianapolis Public Schools, will not be largely affected by the new law because they already have similar policies in place. Other districts vary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Westfield Washington School District, communications director Joshua Andrews said high school students there can only have their phones at lunch and between classes. However, middle school students cannot use their phones at all during the school day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When you change something that big, it kind of makes people recoil a little bit. But, there’s been little to no problems with it since we’ve rolled it out,” he said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other districts are still in the process of developing policies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Terry Terhune, superintendent at Greenwood Community School Corp., said students at his schools generally aren’t supposed to have their phones out during class unless they have a teacher’s permission. However, the rules vary by grade level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“One of my goals is to try to meet with some of our neighboring school districts and see kind of where everybody lands on that,” he said. “Within our county, Johnson County, I would like to try to be consistent with other districts. But again, everybody’s going to have their own opinion on those things.”\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Kirsten Adair covers education for Indiana Public Broadcasting.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2024 IPB News. To see more, visit \u003ca>IPB News\u003c/a>.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Indiana+lawmakers+ban+cellphones+in+class.+Now+it%27s+up+to+schools+to+figure+out+how&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills",
"headTitle": "6 Ways Educators Can Bolster Boys’ Social Skills | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On a Thursday evening in January, parents sat at cafeteria tables with sixth-graders, eating pasta and discussing scripted questions, including “How does someone earn your trust?” and “What makes a good friend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So many boys describe feelings of loneliness, of having friends but longing for someone they can confide in about hard feelings,” said Adam Diaz, a school counselor and my colleague at Landon School, an independent boys school in Bethesda, Maryland. We designed this activity at the school’s annual spaghetti dinner to encourage conversation among caregivers and students about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily\">healthy friendships\u003c/a>. “This was an opportunity for the boys to practice social skills and for parents to model being honest and vulnerable,” Diaz continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a time when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34898234/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rates of loneliness\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are rising among young adults and researchers report that 15- to 24-year-olds spend nearly \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">70% less time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, boys face some distinct challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For instance, in their 2021 report, “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.boyhoodinitiative.org/sites/default/files/2023-06/State-of-American-Boys-Report.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The State of America’s Boys: An Urgent Case for a More Connected Boyhood\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">,” researchers Michael Reichert and Joseph Derrick Nelson note that boys feel \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57024/for-adolescent-boys-maintaining-masculinity-can-stymie-genuine-connections\">pressure to conform to societal expectations about masculinity\u003c/a>, such as being stoic, dominant and competitive. That may help explain why boys are more likely to experience physical and verbal bullying and why they’re less academically engaged than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here are six ways \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">educators can help boys\u003c/a> acquire the skills and traits they need to strengthen their relationships and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">thrive at school\u003c/a>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. Connect the dots between self-regulation and reputation \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys can turn off peers by calling out in class or elbowing a classmate. To \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work\">help them self-regulate\u003c/a>, Diaz prompts boys to consider questions such as, “Can I sit next to someone whose presence calms me down?” and “Can I write down any questions I have before raising my hand?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://news.fullerton.edu/press-release/child-development-expert-why-boys-are-falling-behind-in-education/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ioakim Boutakidis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, professor of child and adolescent studies at California State University, Fullerton, notes that t\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">he self-regulatory components of the brain aren’t integrated as quickly in boys as in girls\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “boys \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that have a harder time picking up on social cues are often the most aggressive because they misinterpret accidental gestures as malicious intent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Scripts are created,” Boutakidis said, and students pick up on teachers’ attitudes toward students, too. To help repair a struggling student’s reputation, try to set them up for success and praise them publicly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Distinguish between “funny, mean and in-between” comments\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys are more likely to make a comment like, “‘You’re such an idiot; I can’t believe I hang out with you’ – said while smiling and patting them on the back,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/mitchprinstein\">Mitch Prinstein\u003c/a>, chief s\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cience officer for the American Psychological Association\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It’s a way to express vulnerability but also be dominant.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Joking can be misinterpreted and lead to fights,” added \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mrhealthteacher.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Pepper\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a teacher who coordinates boys’ groups in San Francisco Public Schools. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">He encourages boys to “lean into sincerity rather than hide behind ‘can’t you take a joke?’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ryanwexelblatt\">Ryan Wexelblatt\u003c/a>, the director of ADHD Dude, which offers in-person \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.adhddude.com/social-programs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social skills programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for boys in Tucson, Arizona, teaches boys that there are some things you shouldn’t joke about, such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> physical appearance and race.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I teach health and wellness in schools, I have students act out comments like “Oh, you got a haircut” or “We already have enough players on our team,” then determine whether it’s “nice, mean or in-between.” They quickly realize that the same comment can be perceived as mean or inoffensive depending on someone’s word choice, tone and past interactions with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb style=\"font-size: 24px\">3. Provide structured social opportunities \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Adults have to take responsibility for creating structured engagement with young folks,” said \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/darylhowardphd\">Daryl Howard\u003c/a>, director of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bondeducators.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Building Our Network of Diversity (BOND) Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and chair of the Maryland department of education’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://marylandpublicschools.org/programs/Pages/AAEEBB/index.aspx\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Advisory Council on Achieving Academic Equity and Excellence for Black Boys\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When Howard facilitates BOND boys groups, he starts each session with a community circle “so no one can sit by themselves or play on devices.” The boys introduce themselves and share a personal update, with the goal of helping them find connection points so they can interact more comfortably on their own, he explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, a boys school in Toronto, Ontario, students can join a group tailored to their needs or sign up to eat lunch with a “mystery teacher,” said Catriona Gallienne, the school’s director of student success. All students start the day with a 30-minute period designated for social-emotional learning, such as an assembly, health class or community circles.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During circle time, boys might talk about a challenge at home or express frustration over how teams are picked at recess, said Rick Parsons, principal of Sterling Hall. “Inevitably, someone will validate their experience or share, ‘This is what happened to me.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The circles normalize boys’ experiences and combat harmful stereotypes about needing to “go it alone,” said Andrew Reiner, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.harpercollins.com/products/better-boys-better-men-andrew-reiner\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “They see that they not only have permission to open up, but it’s going to be met with support.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Help boys socialize informally\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys who feel awkward might opt out of recess, lunch and other unstructured social time. To ease their discomfort, schools can add Spikeball games or extra balls to outdoor areas, designate a board game table in the cafeteria, or hold chess club meetings during lunch.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I tell elementary schools, ‘have a Lego cart outside,’ but some \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">teenagers like that too\u003c/a>,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/katiefhurley\">Katie Hurley\u003c/a>, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a child and adolescent psychotherapist and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jedfoundation.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Jed Foundation’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> senior clinical adviser for external affairs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View spaces with an eye to optimizing interaction. For instance, Hurley visited a school where students gather on couches in the hallway.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Recognize that some boys need more help\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some students may need more help understanding the unwritten rules of socializing, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">including boys with ADHD\u003c/a>. “Some kids with an inattentive profile are what I call the stick collectors,” Wexelblatt said. “They get caught up in their own world and walk around the perimeter collecting sticks.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys with an impulsive profile can be more emotionally reactive, he said. “They might think they’re being bullied, but other kids find them controlling or just don’t want to do what they’re doing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Praise boys for being flexible or showing interest in peers’ ideas. Diaz prompts students to ponder questions such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, “How close do you stand to someone? How do you ask a question? What’s okay to ask?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Make caring for others a shared responsibility\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, Parsons said, educators have a saying: “Big boys look out for themselves; bigger boys look out for others.” To that end, older students mentor younger students, and eighth-grade boys partner with younger students to paint a buddy bench on the playground. If a student has no one to play with, they sit on the buddy bench.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every boy is responsible for making sure no one is sitting on the buddy bench,” Parsons explained, adding that no one sits there for more than 60 seconds. As he noted, “boys want to be leaders, to be good, to look out for others and to get affirmation for that. Belonging is everything.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Phyllis L. Fagell\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a licensed clinical professional counselor and professional school counselor, is the author of \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-matters/9780738235080/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Matters\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/phyllis-l-fagell/middle-school-superpowers/9780306829758/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On a Thursday evening in January, parents sat at cafeteria tables with sixth-graders, eating pasta and discussing scripted questions, including “How does someone earn your trust?” and “What makes a good friend?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“So many boys describe feelings of loneliness, of having friends but longing for someone they can confide in about hard feelings,” said Adam Diaz, a school counselor and my colleague at Landon School, an independent boys school in Bethesda, Maryland. We designed this activity at the school’s annual spaghetti dinner to encourage conversation among caregivers and students about \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/63184/when-parents-know-these-4-phases-of-friendship-they-can-help-their-child-make-friends-more-easily\">healthy friendships\u003c/a>. “This was an opportunity for the boys to practice social skills and for parents to model being honest and vulnerable,” Diaz continued.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At a time when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34898234/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">rates of loneliness\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are rising among young adults and researchers report that 15- to 24-year-olds spend nearly \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">70% less time\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> socializing in-person with friends than they did two decades ago, boys face some distinct challenges.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For instance, in their 2021 report, “\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.boyhoodinitiative.org/sites/default/files/2023-06/State-of-American-Boys-Report.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The State of America’s Boys: An Urgent Case for a More Connected Boyhood\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">,” researchers Michael Reichert and Joseph Derrick Nelson note that boys feel \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57024/for-adolescent-boys-maintaining-masculinity-can-stymie-genuine-connections\">pressure to conform to societal expectations about masculinity\u003c/a>, such as being stoic, dominant and competitive. That may help explain why boys are more likely to experience physical and verbal bullying and why they’re less academically engaged than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Here are six ways \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">educators can help boys\u003c/a> acquire the skills and traits they need to strengthen their relationships and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">thrive at school\u003c/a>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>1. Connect the dots between self-regulation and reputation \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys can turn off peers by calling out in class or elbowing a classmate. To \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53132/concrete-ways-to-help-students-self-regulate-and-prioritize-work\">help them self-regulate\u003c/a>, Diaz prompts boys to consider questions such as, “Can I sit next to someone whose presence calms me down?” and “Can I write down any questions I have before raising my hand?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://news.fullerton.edu/press-release/child-development-expert-why-boys-are-falling-behind-in-education/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ioakim Boutakidis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, professor of child and adolescent studies at California State University, Fullerton, notes that t\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">he self-regulatory components of the brain aren’t integrated as quickly in boys as in girls\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and “boys \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that have a harder time picking up on social cues are often the most aggressive because they misinterpret accidental gestures as malicious intent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Scripts are created,” Boutakidis said, and students pick up on teachers’ attitudes toward students, too. To help repair a struggling student’s reputation, try to set them up for success and praise them publicly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>2. Distinguish between “funny, mean and in-between” comments\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys are more likely to make a comment like, “‘You’re such an idiot; I can’t believe I hang out with you’ – said while smiling and patting them on the back,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/mitchprinstein\">Mitch Prinstein\u003c/a>, chief s\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cience officer for the American Psychological Association\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “It’s a way to express vulnerability but also be dominant.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Joking can be misinterpreted and lead to fights,” added \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mrhealthteacher.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Christopher Pepper\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a teacher who coordinates boys’ groups in San Francisco Public Schools. \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">He encourages boys to “lean into sincerity rather than hide behind ‘can’t you take a joke?’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/ryanwexelblatt\">Ryan Wexelblatt\u003c/a>, the director of ADHD Dude, which offers in-person \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.adhddude.com/social-programs\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social skills programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> for boys in Tucson, Arizona, teaches boys that there are some things you shouldn’t joke about, such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> physical appearance and race.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When I teach health and wellness in schools, I have students act out comments like “Oh, you got a haircut” or “We already have enough players on our team,” then determine whether it’s “nice, mean or in-between.” They quickly realize that the same comment can be perceived as mean or inoffensive depending on someone’s word choice, tone and past interactions with you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb style=\"font-size: 24px\">3. Provide structured social opportunities \u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Adults have to take responsibility for creating structured engagement with young folks,” said \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/darylhowardphd\">Daryl Howard\u003c/a>, director of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bondeducators.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Building Our Network of Diversity (BOND) Project\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and chair of the Maryland department of education’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://marylandpublicschools.org/programs/Pages/AAEEBB/index.aspx\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Advisory Council on Achieving Academic Equity and Excellence for Black Boys\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When Howard facilitates BOND boys groups, he starts each session with a community circle “so no one can sit by themselves or play on devices.” The boys introduce themselves and share a personal update, with the goal of helping them find connection points so they can interact more comfortably on their own, he explained.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, a boys school in Toronto, Ontario, students can join a group tailored to their needs or sign up to eat lunch with a “mystery teacher,” said Catriona Gallienne, the school’s director of student success. All students start the day with a 30-minute period designated for social-emotional learning, such as an assembly, health class or community circles.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During circle time, boys might talk about a challenge at home or express frustration over how teams are picked at recess, said Rick Parsons, principal of Sterling Hall. “Inevitably, someone will validate their experience or share, ‘This is what happened to me.’” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The circles normalize boys’ experiences and combat harmful stereotypes about needing to “go it alone,” said Andrew Reiner, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.harpercollins.com/products/better-boys-better-men-andrew-reiner\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. “They see that they not only have permission to open up, but it’s going to be met with support.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>4. Help boys socialize informally\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys who feel awkward might opt out of recess, lunch and other unstructured social time. To ease their discomfort, schools can add Spikeball games or extra balls to outdoor areas, designate a board game table in the cafeteria, or hold chess club meetings during lunch.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“I tell elementary schools, ‘have a Lego cart outside,’ but some \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">teenagers like that too\u003c/a>,” said \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/katiefhurley\">Katie Hurley\u003c/a>, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a child and adolescent psychotherapist and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jedfoundation.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Jed Foundation’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> senior clinical adviser for external affairs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">View spaces with an eye to optimizing interaction. For instance, Hurley visited a school where students gather on couches in the hallway.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>5. Recognize that some boys need more help\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some students may need more help understanding the unwritten rules of socializing, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61966/how-parents-can-help-children-with-adhd-thrive-in-friendships\">including boys with ADHD\u003c/a>. “Some kids with an inattentive profile are what I call the stick collectors,” Wexelblatt said. “They get caught up in their own world and walk around the perimeter collecting sticks.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Boys with an impulsive profile can be more emotionally reactive, he said. “They might think they’re being bullied, but other kids find them controlling or just don’t want to do what they’re doing.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Praise boys for being flexible or showing interest in peers’ ideas. Diaz prompts students to ponder questions such as\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, “How close do you stand to someone? How do you ask a question? What’s okay to ask?” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>6. Make caring for others a shared responsibility\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At Sterling Hall, Parsons said, educators have a saying: “Big boys look out for themselves; bigger boys look out for others.” To that end, older students mentor younger students, and eighth-grade boys partner with younger students to paint a buddy bench on the playground. If a student has no one to play with, they sit on the buddy bench.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every boy is responsible for making sure no one is sitting on the buddy bench,” Parsons explained, adding that no one sits there for more than 60 seconds. As he noted, “boys want to be leaders, to be good, to look out for others and to get affirmation for that. Belonging is everything.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"soldout": {
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"info": "Tech Nation is a weekly public radio program, hosted by Dr. Moira Gunn. Founded in 1993, it has grown from a simple interview show to a multi-faceted production, featuring conversations with noted technology and science leaders, and a weekly science and technology-related commentary.",
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"info": "The TED Radio Hour is a journey through fascinating ideas, astonishing inventions, fresh approaches to old problems, and new ways to think and create.",
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"tagline": "Local news to keep you rooted",
"info": "Host Devin Katayama walks you through the biggest story of the day with reporters and newsmakers.",
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