I am suddenly turned on by the thought of graham crackers. And that is just the sort of attitude that would make Reverend Graham turn in his grave, since I am undoing all of his good work. Not Billy Graham. He's still (barely) alive, though he also may not approve. I'm talking Sylvester Graham, the inventor of the eponymous cracker.
The graham cracker was created in tandem with the Graham Diet, which advocated fresh fruits and vegetables, whole wheat, and lots of fiber, and denounced meats, alcohol, and spices. Dairy was to be used sparingly. A forefather of Dr. Kellogg and his cornflake-fueled sanitarium, Graham firmly believed that a bland diet would prevent people from having impure thoughts, therefore preventing masturbation (which Graham believed lead to blindness and insanity).
Yes, that is correct. The graham cracker was originally invented to curb sexual desire. I think that is a lot to ask from a cracker, don't you?
Small wonder graham crackers play no major role in my adult life, save at the bottom of the occasional pie or cheesecake, but they were an ever-present staple in my household throughout my childhood. It's enough to make me think my crafty mother was fully aware of this cracker's mystical, anti-inflammatory powers.
How clever, too, the scoutmasters of this country for popularizing the s'more. Leaving a group of adolescent boys out in the wild seems to be asking for trouble, but stuff them with enough graham crackers and parents can rest assured that the only sticks those boys will be rubbing together will be to make a campfire.