At this year’s Emerald Cup—which is a simultaneous festival, expo, convention, outdoor cannabis judging and awards event, and smoke-filled product showcase and market—there was no shortage of things to taste, smoke, eat, inhale, rub on, and dab. Since it’s the holidaze, here are 12 edibles I got to road test and taste at The Emerald Cup that I’d love to see under the tree. Please check each product site to find out which dispensaries and delivery services carry them since Santa is too busy getting presents to the kids to check your medical card.
Whether you’re interested in ingesting cannabis to help with a variety of medical conditions, or you are just excited to try it recreationally and unwind a little, edibles are now a great way to explore different measurements and discover your tolerance level and preferences. We couldn’t be further away from the days of the mega-dosed brownie your best friend’s brother made that you never quite forgot. Have fun, go low, go slow, and ho ho ho!
On the first day of Canna Christmas, my stoner lover gave to me:
A box of Garden Society’s Bright Blooms pâte de fruit!
These beautifully made fruit jellies (strawberry basil, yes please), are the perfect low-dose bite (just 5 mg of THC per sparkly gelée), and since they are made with a sativa hybrid cannabis strain, they’ll have you feeling just perky enough. Need to come down from the day? There are also Bliss Blossoms: milk chocolate truffles made with an indica strain (10 mg per chocolate), which will have you sleeping like Snoozer the reindeer.
On the second day of Canna Christmas, my hippie hiker friend gave to me:
Dude. DUDE! You know how disgusting most granola bars and energy bars can be, let alone when there’s some dank cannabis in the mix, but these protein bites (and protein bars) are nicely chewy, savory, and packed with superfood ingredients, while being gluten-free, dairy-free, and GMO-free, and they’re lab-tested. No funky sawdust here! The Bites are made with almond butter and chocolate chip, hemp protein, and the magic comes from RSO (Rick Simpson Oil) and Sour Diesel cold water hash–infused organic coconut oil. Zing! The package contains two 1:1 bites, with 10 mg of THC and 10 mg of CBD each (so maybe nibble half of a bite first and wait a couple hours, unless you know you prefer a higher dose, because you might start believing you really did see Santa).
On the third day of Canna Christmas, my Netflix and chill buddy gave to me:
Yeah, that’s right. When you want to cuddle up with your skin blanket (ya gotta keep warm somehow!), this is what you’ll want to bring to bed with you and your boo. This CBD raw cacao contains 80 mg of CBD per jar (and 4 mg of THC), so you’ll have all the good feelings as you eat it by the spoonful (this is some crazy tasty stuff) or you can make some hot cocoa with it and leave it out for Santa. And since there’s very little THC in it, Santa will be cool to drive his sleigh without any “Whooooooo, Dancer, careful man, there’s a beverage here!” moments.
On the fourth day of Canna Christmas, my groovy neighbor gave to me:
So clever, you see what they did there. And did you notice my rhyme? Yes? Great. This bottled yerba mate tea has just the good stuff: brewed organic yerba mate tea, organic honey, peppermint tea, organic lemon juice…oh yeah, and THC. 80 mg a bottle, so be sure to share. It’s the ultimate cotton mouth killer, and will be perfect for picnics and days at the beach. And life, basically. There’s the original flavor and a sweet one with double the honey, good for those of you who like things sweet. At The Emerald Cup, they were pouring it on nitro and it was pretty genius—suddenly I really wanted a nitro machine at home. And this tea on tap. I’d be very popular. And pretty high all the time. Come on over!
On the fifth day of Canna Christmas, my yoga flow teacher gave to me:
You know, you could nibble on this energy bar before yoga class, or after class, or both, and you’d be feeling dandy. And so buff! This protein-rich bar is full of vegan protein, banana, and peanut, with a little boost of vitality from Maca, plus Bala (an Indian herb for strength) and Baobab. Bring on the super foods! The entire line of Higherveda bars are wheat-free, organic, and feature quality ingredients with an Ayurvedic approach. There’s also the Buzz bar and Snooze bar and Snuggle bar, and there are CBD-rich ones, plus they come in different dosages too. Taste the rainbow!
On the sixth day of Canna Christmas, someone at The Emerald Cup gave me something really strong and I totally forgot what is was. Oops. Always read the package closely. Back atcha tomorrow!
OK, I’m back. Still feeling a little loopy, but let’s do this. Some CBD would be a good idea.
On the seventh day of Canna Christmas, Beyoncé gave to me (yes she did!):
Yup, you’ve got some medicated hot sauce in your bag, swag, and it has CBD in it! This CBD-rich hot sauce debuted at The Emerald Cup, and is made with sun-grown Ringo’s Gift from Dirt Ninja Farm. It has some heat but it’s not too spicy, and has a smoky touch from chipotle, plus organic tomato and pineapple, which would make it a winner on some pork. Like, you next al pastor burrito. This batch had 215 mg CBD and 9 mg of THC, so you can shake it on everything basically. Except your cereal. Don’t do that.
On the eighth day of Canna Christmas, one of Santa’s naughty elves gave to me:
I’m not sure Santa would approve of his elves handing out dosed marshmallows, but Stoner Elf and I did a secret handshake and we’re cool. This San Francisco company makes quite a quality product, they’re so fluffy and feature gourmet flavors like brown butter sage and raspberry-rose lychee, but it’s the holidays yo and time to bust out the peppermint bark (and not a version Williams Sonoma would ever make—yet). Each Mellow contains a low dose of 5 mg of THC, made from premium single-origin Red Congolese sativa, so you get a little boost of euphoria and elation. The holidays are just marvelous, aren’t they? Everything is just GREAT! (Especially if you show up with a box of these as a hostess gift.)
On the ninth day of Canna Christmas, stoner shaman gave to me:
Everyone knows chocolate and peanut butter is a holy thing already, and then you get some high-quality cannabis from The Legion of Bloom in the mix and it’s pure, potent alchemy! These tasty little canna chunks feature organic ingredients like gluten-free oats, vegan chocolate chips, agave, sunflower seeds, and all kinds of other seeds because that’s the stoner way. Speaking of the stoner way, they are “crafted through a high vibrational process using premium ingredients, which are further activated by Positive Intentions.” Yeah man! They come with a powerful bump of magic at 15 mg per bite, so prepare to feel the vibes.
On the tenth day of Canna Christmas, my healer gave to me:
Golden Lotus Milk from Lotus Medicinal Foods!
And not a moment too soon. The holidays can put your health through the wringer, so it’s time to boost your system with this gorgeous Ayurvedic golden milk from Mendocino. This was my favorite product at The Emerald Cup, hands down, and a total elixir. I wish it was in my life every day. There is a THC or CBD version, made with organic and fresh ginger, turmeric, black pepper, cinnamon stick, Manuka honey, almond milk, creamed coconut, CBD-infused coconut oil, Moringa tea, and sun-grown cannabis sourced from Honeysuckle Lotus, also from Mendocino. This one will be a little tricky to track down, but hopefully some Bay Area dispensaries will start to carry this extraordinary beverage. For now, I will just have to dream of it. Or drive up to Mendocino soon.
On the eleventh day of Canna Christmas, my stoner sushi chef gave to me:
Furikake from Lotus Medicinal Foods
Yup, we’re back at it with some more amazing products from the mysterious Lotus Medicinal Foods! Founder Susan Summerford-Pitts, who is certified in macrobiotics from the Kushi Institute and has been making edibles for 25 years, created this medicated furikake, which is totally something I’d sprinkle on my next rice bowl. Move over, nori. It’s made with medicated seaweed (she uses an ice tincture), featuring wakame, dulse, sesame seeds, California chile pepper, and sea salt. It’s a potent 35 mg of THC per packet, so a little sprinkle will go a long way. There’s also gomasio, with sesame and sea salt. Hai!
On the twelfth day of Canna Christmas, Mrs. Claus gave to me:
CBD-rich strawberries in milk chocolate from Satori
Mrs. Claus knows what’s up—she’s kicking it at the North Pole, nibbling on these brand-new CBD-rich chocolate-covered strawberries and feeling mellow vibes while Santa is out making his deliveries and stressin’ because there are all these ride-sharing sleighs in his way. Mrs. C also likes the salted caramel almonds in dark chocolate (the almonds are roasted and then caramelized and then sugar-coated, bam), because who knew but Mrs. Claus is totally a microdoser. The strawberries have 3 mg of CBD per bite, while the dark chocolate has 5 mg of CBD. Satori also has a whole line of THC-infused chocolate bars and bites if you want to dial up the weird, and everything is made with quality ingredients.
And with that, have a happy and merrrrrrrrry Jane Christmas!