I’ve been trying to ignore the press releases for Dolly Parton’s imminent album Rockstar, on which the country superstar is joined by guest stars to cover a variety of rock classics. (And also Miley Cyrus’ pop hit “Wrecking Ball” because: goddaughter). Some find Dolly duetting with the original artists (like “Every Breath You Take” featuring Sting, or “Heart of Glass” featuring Debbie Harry), and some feature random stars (like her version of “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” with P!nk and Brandi Carlile). The album also contains a few original tracks, on which Dolly collaborates with the likes of Judas Priest’s Rob Halford and human garbage truck Kid Rock.
One of the first tastes we’re getting of Rockstar is the brand new video for a solo Dolly performing Queen’s “We Are the Champions,” in anticipation of the Summer 2024 Olympics in Paris. Queen’s 1977 hit was already played out as a sporting anthem when the San Francisco Giants decided to play it into our unwilling ears at every game following their 2012 World Series win, but sure, let’s keep flogging that dead horse, shall we?
Dolly, perhaps keen to differentiate her sporty use of “We Are the Champions” from other sporty uses of “We Are the Champions,” has also tacked a gratuitous rendition of “We Will Rock You” onto the end. Because apparently good sense was entirely absent in the Rockstar recording sessions.
The video for the final awkward-combo song was released today. As you might expect, it’s a thing to behold! Here then, is our (admittedly cynical) rundown of everything that happens in the video.
0:05: Dolly sits somberly on empty bleachers wearing the same facial expression she might adopt before singing “Me and Little Andy,” her classic track in which an abandoned six-year-old child and her cute little dog beg strangers for help, then unceremoniously drop dead. Who feels like goin’ to the Olympics?! Woo!
0:36: Fireworks explode behind the Eiffel Tower and sports montages begin, complete with a backing track of roaring crowds. Do you feel that, everyone? It’s the sound of trying to get excited about something that doesn’t start for another year! Yay!
