A Guide to Tommy Wiseau's Stages of Quarantine, as Seen in 'The Room'

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Tommy Wiseau in 2003 cult classic, 'The Room.'

In the 17 years since its release, The Roomconsidered by fans to be the greatest bad movie ever madehas found its own kind of strange success.

Over the years, it has slowly spawned a dedicated cult following, especially in San Francisco, where it was set. In 2018, after one of its stars (Greg Sestero, who played Mark) co-wrote a book about his excruciating experiences on-set, James Franco turned it into an Oscar-nominated movie, called The Disaster Artist.

It was notable at the time that Tommy Wiseau, The Room's eccentric writer, director and star, happily took part in promo for The Disaster Artist, since 85% of the movie is based around pointing and laughing at his overly-confident ineptitude. On Sunday, Wiseau once again proved himself a thoroughly good sport when he posted this handy chart to Twitter:

The stages can be roughly characterized as:


1 = The "You are tearing me apart!" rage stage
2 = The There's Not Even Enough Space To Play With This Football But I'm Gonna Use It Like A Comfort Blanket stage
3 = The "I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you darling!" stage
4 = The Laughing In The Face Of Tragedy (a.k.a. the "Great Story, Mark") stage
5 = The Sheer Terror stage
6 = The Getting It On stage
7 = The Talking to Yourself stage
8 = The Let's Go Home, Oh Wait, We Already Are stage, and,
9 = The "Oh, Hi Doggie!"

Fans responded in droves to Wiseau's query, appreciating the highly effective shorthand on offer, and occasionally coming up with their own.

If anything can make our current reality seem less baffling, it's the ever-confusing content of The Room. If you recognize yourself in any of Wiseau's quarantine stages, now might be an excellent time to re-watch it, then inevitably feel better about yourself.