If you've got a spare $2 million lying around and a hankering to pay $2,706 a month in HOA fees alone, you might be pleased to know that Betsey Johnson's second home is for sale right now.
As absolutely everyone who has ever laid eyes on her might anticipate, Johnson's Paradise Cove, Malibu property is a hot pink, two-bed, two-bath mobile home, made of wall-to-wall decor ideas that are the opposite of what you're supposed to do to the inside of places where humans live.
Weirdly though, Johnson's crazy decor is done with such panache, you might be tempted to copy her kitschy style. The good news is, you totally can! The designer once said: "My customer isn’t wrapped up in labels and money,” and her home isn't either.
You don't have to be a one percent-er to make these work:
1. Pick a Stupidly Bright Color and Run (Everywhere) With it
Remember when you were a kid, and you wanted to do this to your bedroom, and your mom was like "That's too bright and painting ceilings the same color as the walls is bad"? Betsey Johnson just proved mom wrong about all of it, so pick a color that stings your eyeballs, put it absolutely everywhere, and never sleep through your alarm again.
2. Put Tons of Art in the Bathroom
If you listen to boring, sensible people, the bathroom is no place for works of art. "Of all the places you can display art at home, the bath has long been the most controversial," Architectural Digest notes. "Bathrooms (more specifically, tubs and showers) produce a lot of moisture and steam, a dangerous environment for precious pieces." Betsey Johnson doesn't care and neither should you. Go ahead: give yourself something nice to look at while you're taking care of, um, personal business.
3. Naked Breasts in the Living Room Are Fine, Thanks For Asking
There's a school of thought that suggests that, if one is going to display naked breasts in a home, they should probably stay within the confines of the bedroom. But where's the fun in that? Johnson proves that nudes in the living room are perfectly delightful. Even the Wall Street Journal thinks so, recently noting: "After falling out of style for years—sensitivities ran higher over the perceived objectification of women—naked folks are so out they’re arguably in." Don't fear the bosoms.
4. Tacky Crap is Awesome
Sure, sitting amongst wall-to-wall pink florals might make you feel nauseated. And adding clashing prints and gaudy tableware to the mix can only make things worse. But sometimes—just sometimes—camp is king. As home decor magazine Domino recently advised: "Don’t let the vibrant fuchsia scare you."
5. Clutter is Your Best Friend
Let's compare and contrast for a second. Would you rather live in Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's empty, cold museum of a home? (WON'T YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN, KIMYE?)