Georgette Spelvin: The Jackie O of opossum care. (YouTube/MEpearlA)
What would you get if you combined Jackie Onassis' poise, Jane Fonda's comic timing and Audrey Hepburn's love of wildlife?
It's not a question anyone was asking, but now—thanks, internet!—we know the answer.
Georgette Spelvin remains a mystery, since she operates under a pseudonym. What we do know is that this Southern California resident has a multitude of opossums, a handful of squirrels and a killer sense of humor.
Georgette's YouTube channel has shared these kinds of surreal moments of excellence on a regular basis since 2010. Her inherent watchability is rooted in the hilarious juxtaposition of her glamorous appearance and blue blooded demeanor with the rat-tailed fang-faces most commonly located in people's trash. Georgette knows how to play up that weird combination with aplomb, thanks in part to her very relaxed means of handling the animals.
Compounding confusion about her true identity, Georgette's associated website is even more bonkers than her YouTube channel, thanks to the fact that it's purportedly written by Pearl, one of Georgette's dead squirrels, who offers psychic advice to members of the public. ("I AM A DEAD SQUIRREL THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING," screams the homepage.) Pearl can also be seen regularly, presented as a sort of religious deity, in the background of Georgette's videos.
On the "Ask Pearl" page of Georgette's site, Pearl fields questions about readers' biggest issues. On whether or not to leave a cheating lover, Pearl says: "You already know." When a reader asks if she's met her soul-mate, Pearl offers: "This one will be your truest love so long as you stop looking for anyone truer." And when it comes to issues around proper gaming etiquette, Pearl explains: "Did you prance around the room going nanner nanner nanner? That’s usually where those Prussian Incursion games go south." Occasionally though, readers also try and find out who Georgette really is... to no avail.
In the end, we only know what Georgette Spelvin wants us to know: that she is a very funny lady with a big heart when it comes to injured and in-need wildlife. The lesson she most often imparts in her videos is that "if you see an opossum or squirrel outside, leave it there," and if you see one that's injured or in danger, contact your nearest wildlife rescue.
We may never get Georgette's full life story. But as long as she has a bongo-playing possum by her side and a scurry of squirrels on her shoulder, what more do we really need to know?
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