What’s the difference between an action figure and an action star? Very little in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which features no performances of note, even from such combat-tested thespians as Bruce Willis, Jonathan Pryce and Dwayne Johnson.
The sequel to 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, the latest Joe is a near-surrealistic mashup of serious themes and juvenile humor, realistic locations and cheesy CGI. Adapted to 3-D after it was shot, the movie is also one of the most aggressive examples ever of the chucking-stuff-at-the-viewer aesthetic.
Retaliation continues the plot of its predecessor while cashiering most of its cast. That’s not especially disruptive to continuity, since many of the characters wear masks and/or speak little, if at all. The Darth Vader-ish role of Cobra Commander requires two performers — one for the body and another for the voice — but might as well be played by a PVC doll with a handful of ball-and-socket joints.
Early scenes establish the personal chemistry of Channing Tatum’s Duke and Johnson’s Block — short for “Roadblock,” oddly enough, not “Blockhead.” When not killing people, the two engage in the sort of you’re-a-girl-no-you-are taunts that action-flick makers seem to think are manly. Then the movie dispatches the Joes to Pakistan, where most of them are, uh, sidelined.
Only Block, Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) and some other guy (D.J. Cotrona) remain active, although it turns out that the super-soldiers still have a few friends left in Tokyo, D.C. and other exotic climes that are mostly impersonated by digital pixels or Louisiana.