Welcome to Help Desk, where I answer your queries about making, exhibiting, finding, marketing, buying, selling — or any other activity related to — contemporary art. Together, we’ll sort through some of art’s thornier issues. Email helpdesk@dailyserving.com with your questions. All submissions remain strictly anonymous and become the property of Daily Serving.
Dear Help Desk, I have a nagging suspicion a prominent curator in my town feels slighted by my inaction to follow up on a studio visit he solicited. I know opportunities like this don’t happen often, and I deeply regret not following up, but I was in my thesis year of graduate school and could do little more than eat, sleep and work in the studio. We’ve bumped into each other at art openings and other events and he does his best to overlook me but greets my husband. Building an art career is difficult enough, I worry that his feelings toward me might make it even harder. I’m so embarrassed by the situation I don’t know how to proceed.
So you missed an opportunity to present your work, and now you believe that the curator is taking it personally and showing you his feelings by snubbing you at openings. There’s really only one way to find out if that’s true: by writing to him and asking for a studio visit.

Robert Rauschenberg, Retroactive I, 1963.
You could play this a few different ways. You could, in the email, apologize for not following up, explain how overwhelmed you felt during school, and ask if the opportunity is still open; or you could just send a very short note requesting a time for a visit (with no mention of your prior interactions); or you could try for the middle ground, requesting an appointment “now that I’m out of school and not swamped by coursework.” Personally, I’d choose the last option, acknowledging your former position but without making it into a big deal. You owe it to yourself to investigate this situation and see if it’s possible to find out what’s really going on — otherwise, you’ll just torture yourself every time you run into him. By getting in touch, it’s likely that you’ll be able to determine (either by the curator’s response, or by his non-response) how he feels about your interactions; and whether it’s good news or bad news, it will allow you to discern his estimation of your (albeit limited) interactions. Additionally, if this curator’s feelings were indeed hurt, your continued interest in a studio visit might mend the rift. Communicating your previous situation will let him know that it was nothing personal and that you take the opportunity seriously. Don’t put this off any longer, just write a nice email and send it off today.