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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Finale Recap: Kiss Off",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Finale Recap: Kiss Off",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross murdered Demelza's wannabe date rapist by shooting him in the groin. My calves are still aching from all the dancing I did on his grave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers hand over the Drake and Morwenna wedding we deserve so I can keep my leg muscles toned? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tarot Card Agatha is celebrating her birthda.... wait, what the hell is going on?! She's supposed to be dead! Francis (a.k.a. Backstabber Cousin) is there too, despite being murdered by a puddle a while ago. You remember:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drowning-puddle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is this purgatory?! Alas, no, it's just a flashback to 1780. All the boys have longer hair and Elizabeth has yet to betray Ross by boo-ing up with his cousin while he's trying to survive a war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha tells everyone she's going to outlive them all (a prophecy I'd gladly get behind). For a seer, she really sucks at predicting the future. Blame the port, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107540\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-wine-port-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bewigged, fashionably late Ross arrives and makes an announcement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, ladies and germs! I just enlisted to check out that little scuffle over in America. I think it'll be pretty chill. Six months tops! Definitely not an eight-year-long bloodbath! And there's probably no chance that I'll have to watch all my friends die, get a huge scar on the side of my face and get unceremoniously dumped by my girlfriend while I'm away!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speak of the devil, Elizabeth waltzes in and drools all over Ross. Francis looks on like a weirdo:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-francis-gif-agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's like he's an extra-terrestrial trying out this smiling thing for the first time. Awkward face muscles aside, can we take a moment to appreciate how into hand kisses Agatha is in the background? Such a legend! The show hasn't been the same without her and her cute, prolonged farts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha pulls a card while staring at Elizabeth. \"She'll break a few hearts and bear beautiful children.\" True on the first count. Might want to check again on the second. No offense, but I would not call Duke of Puking in Random Corners Geoffrey Charles beautiful. And the jury's still out on Malfoy's gestating spawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107569\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ugly-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, perpetually the accidental sh*t-stirrer, asks, \"But who will be their father?\" Francis shares a look with Malfoy and ventures a guess: \"Well, not us, at any rate. It's always been Ross. It will always be Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wrong again! The answer we were looking for is: She will have a kid with each of you in the messiest Jerry Springer way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107570\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/jerry-springer-pregnant-fight.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"397\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom! We're back in 1799! Thanks to drunk ass Geoffrey Charles blurting out how obvious it is that Valentine is Ross' kid, Elizabeth needs to re-convince Malfoy that the only reason Valentine was born suspiciously early is because premature babies are her thing. Under a pseudonym, she seeks the help of a shady doctor, who gives her a Premie Potion. A spoonful will make that baby pop right on out. Sounds totally safe! Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, little-eared Horace (and Blondie) convince Ross to return to Cornwall with them so that he can apologize to Demelza for all the victim-blaming and groin-shooting he got up to last episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107477 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the carriage ride, a worried Horace (and Blondie) look on as Ross relives the duel drama in a daydream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this time, instead of Sir Scam-A-Lot, he shoots Prison Bestie! Give it a rest, Ross! The poor horny poet is long dead! So he had sand-dune sex with your wife! It happens! Get over it in the same way you expected Demelza to get over your own infidelity (not to mention, your love child)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107541\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/end-of-rant-mic-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Drake visits the cave he and Morwenna used to make out in and makes a wish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there, God? It's me, \u003cdel>Margaret\u003c/del> Drake, Sam's brother... you know, the guy who's so obsessed with you that you had to get a restraining order against him. Yeah, him! Anyway, could you cure Morwenna's PTSD so we can know something other than misery? Also, while I'm asking for things, could you inspire these haters to stop trying to murder me and burn down my barns? Thanks in advance! TTYL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, a whimper echoes around the make-out cave. It's Morwenna! And she's running away from Drake because that's her thing now (it's important to cultivate a personal brand).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake eventually catches up with her on a cliff's edge, the second most popular place to have really emotional and dramatic conversations (#1 is obviously beside crashing waves).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"Morwenna! I made a wish! The same wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107542\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"It will never be granted! I told you why!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-ooo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"And yet, do ye not think there not be more to life than carnal love? Just being together? Seeing together? All that's good and pure and rare and beautiful in the world? The glow of corn and the smell of spring? Summer rain? Autumn wind? Watching you wake, watching you sleep? Oh, my love, what is life if ye live it alone? Marry me. Be my wife. In name only. I'll never ask ye for more. Do ye not love me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107544\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"Of course I love you. This has never been just about love.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"But it has. And can only ever be. Will ye walk with me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107547 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-laughing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then she does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107546\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake and Morwenna find Demelza and tell her they plan to wed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/01/kristen-wiig-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Merch line is back on! It's finally happening!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the opposite end of the happiness spectrum, Malfoy, Elizabeth and Valentine are sharing a miserable carriage ride back to Cornwall. Valentine asks for a horse (so relatable). Malfoy glares at Valentine (now Ross Jr. in his eyes) and gives him the silent treatment. A totally normal thing for an adult man to do. Babies and grown-ups alike drop dead like flies pretty much every episode. Why isn't it ever Malfoy's turn??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107548\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/i-hate-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Elizabeth hears of Morwenna's attempt at finally being happy and rushes over to make her feel bad about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"But your child! How could you bring yourself to leave him?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He was taken from me, as much was taken from me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth remembers, \u003cem>Ohhhh yeah, I totally forgot about selling my own cousin into an abusive marriage against her will and about how she was raped a bunch and then almost committed to an insane asylum!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If only there was a tutorial out there that could help bad people stay on top of their evil deeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107532\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-160x200.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-800x1000.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-768x960.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-960x1200.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-240x300.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-375x469.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-520x650.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies.jpg 1103w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since involving herself in Morwenna's last marriage turned out so great, Elizabeth tries to convince Morwenna to get married at Malfoy's house. It makes perfect sense for Drake to get hitched in the home of the man who's been continuously trying to have him killed for the past several years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna gives Elizabeth an are-you-fing-kidding-me look and doesn't say anything for a while. I'm guessing Morwenna is taking the time to weigh the pros and cons of grabbing a candlestick and thwacking her no-good cousin over the head with it. Instead, Morwenna swallows all of Elizabeth's BS and gets manipulated into walking her all the way home. I preferred the death-by-Lumiere option, but that's just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get there, Elizabeth pressures Morwenna to come inside. Is Liz going to trap Morwenna in a bunker for a decade, after which Morwenna will be rescued, move to New York City and star in a silly Netflix series about reacclimating to a brave new world?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"481\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-800x601.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-768x577.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1200x902.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1180x887.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-960x721.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-520x391.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy.jpg 1737w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Against her better judgment, Morwenna stays for dinner, only to have Malfoy come home in a terrible mood. Since Geoffrey Charles already burst into the room and blurted out pot-stirring info last episode, this time it's Valentine's turn. \u003cem>Fake papa, did you know Morwenna is getting married?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy asks a maid to take \"that child\" away and doesn't waste any time calling Morwenna a trollop and throwing her out of the house. Elizabeth is too busy acting surprised to stop any of it. Drop the act, sister! It's tired! Your husband is evil! And you are complicit! Accept it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107551\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/annoying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By this point, word has gotten around that Elizabeth cousin-napped Morwenna, so Ross gallops off to rescue her. She's gone by the time he arrives, but that doesn't stop Malfoy from calling Ross inside because he lives for the drama and shouting about what a \"dim-witted trull\" Morwenna is. Again, Elizabeth acts surprised by how evil Malfoy is. She's giving me a headache!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107553\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/new-york-pollard-headache-migraine-rub-head.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Malfoy threatens to shoot Ross on the spot if he comes over ever again. Is Lil Malfoy that small? The insecurity! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last time these two were together, Malfoy used Ross' face as a coin slot, and now this? Ross has HAD IT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107554\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/iva-had-it-officially-ross-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lays it all out: \u003cem>Dude, you live in my family home, you stole my mine, you tried forcing me into bankruptcy, you encouraged a scammer to try date raping my wife and you married the ex I will never get over. And all because I put a frog in your pants two decades ago?! What more do you want?? Why isn't all this enough?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy responds by throwing yet another Veruca Salt-sized temper tantrum. Maid, can you take this child away too? Thank you next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/malfoy-george-poldark-bad-egg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this show never tires of torturing Morwenna, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies are chasing her through the woods with rabid dogs. Enough! Let this girl be happy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as the Slytherin cronies have Morwenna pinned against a tree, Drake appears, wielding a huge stick that says, NOT TODAY, SATAN! For some reason, the Slytherin cronies back down. I would have preferred some skull-cracking, but this works too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the manor, Malfoy and Elizabeth fight over Valentine some more. Malfoy says he knows Valentine's not really his son because of what Agatha told him after he canceled her 100th birthday party just to be a prick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such an iconic moment! Almost as iconic as...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-gun-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth continues to deny it all. And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Hell of Her Own Making goes to...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth stomps off to her bedroom, where she takes the Premie Potion. Moments later, Malfoy finds her passed out on the ground. We don't get to see her faint this time, but it's safe to assume it was bobble-head-ish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Horace is posing for a Playpup centerfold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107533\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-800x471.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-768x452.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1200x706.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1920x1130.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1180x695.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-960x565.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-240x141.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-375x221.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-520x306.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hair, body, face; triple threat! Those curves! Those gams! So bodacious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc is summoned to Elizabeth's bedside, where she is being as obvious as possible: \u003cem>Wow! It's just like last time! Another premie! What a coincidink! I don't cheat; I just have an inhospitable womb! See? Valentine is your baby (if you squint a lot and ignore all the other obvious signs)!\u003c/em> Malfoy buys it cause he's an idiot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth gives birth to a baby girl and names her Urusla because being a Disney villain runs in this family. Malfoy vows to be a better human being and stop treating Valentine like trash. Also, he announces that he found a shady way to force the Prime Minister to recommend him for a knighthood. How nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/eyeroll-drink-nicole-richie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza are back on speaking / sexy terms, but not all is forgiven just yet. Spitting strawberries into each other's mouths is still off the menu.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107534\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-160x87.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-800x434.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-768x417.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1200x651.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1920x1041.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1180x640.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-960x521.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-375x203.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-520x282.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he just can't help himself, Ross brings up Prison Bestie AGAIN (for those keeping track at home, the season total is now at 943). Get a grip, Ross! The poetry wasn't that good! And sand dune sex isn't all it's cracked out to be. Two words: gritty undercarriages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107559\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sandy-dog.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"348\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Elizabeth wakes up with intense cramps. She asks Malfoy, \"Why is it so dark? I'm afraid of the dark!\" Thumper's mom \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ\">has advised me\u003c/a> not to comment on this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107571\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/genie_zipper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard that Elizabeth is ill, Ross rushes over and is promptly denied at the door on Malfoy's order. Ross breaks in anyway and implores Malfoy to quit being such a little sh*t. That's when Malfoy very flippantly announces: \u003cem>Oh, by the way, Elizabeth is totally dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-owl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hurries to her bedroom and finds that it's true. He kisses her one final time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107377\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/thats-sad-huh-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone who is a dedicated reader of these recaps knows I do not care for Elizabeth. Just cause she's dead now doesn't erase all the terrible stuff she's done. Not gonna get any real tears from me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107572\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fake-cry-again.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"336\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll admit that Valentine grabbing hold of Malfoy's hand while looking at his dead mother did put me in my feeling just a wee bit, but it's time to snap out of it 'cause we are being graced with the last Horace scene of the season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107562 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ebony-antm-fake-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"164\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know there are more serious issues at hand right now, but can someone please let Horace down? (Watch the bottom left corner.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107538 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cant-get-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jumping off of furniture is beneath someone of his social standing!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107537 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-looking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, Ross tells Demelza that Elizabeth is dead. She acts concerned, but we all know what's she's really thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moral of the story: if you and your hot husband cheat on each other, both of your affair partners will end up dead in no time. Adultery kills!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for the season's final fireplace couple's therapy session. Ross brings up Prison Bestie yet again (updated count: 944) and Demelza does her best to put his jealousy to bed: \"Prison Bestie did touch my heart \u003cdel>and a few other things\u003c/del>, but only you have ever owned it.\" Aw, that's nice. \u003cem>Prudie, fetch the strawberries! We've got some sexy baby bird feeding to do! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I would revolt without it, the writers FINALLY LET DRAKE AND MORWENNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mrual4lQ0P1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"130\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107563\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-kid.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"322\" height=\"242\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107564 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/celebrate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And not a moment too soon! I can finally exhale now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While everyone celebrates mere feet away, Malfoy stares at Elizabeth's grave while plotting another season worth of evil shenanigans. But I'm not going to worry about any of that now. I've got better things to do, mainly putting on my official Morwennake one-piece bathing suit and then giving myself a manicure using the official Drakenna nail clipper, while sipping tea out of the official Morwennake tea set, before going to bed wrapped in the official Drakenna comforter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth.\u003c/strong> I could pretend that I care that she's dead, but y'all would know I was faking. I have two parting messages for Elizabeth. The first: TTYN. And the last:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heLL1ExEzQA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Even in death, he and his horny poetry continued to define this season. As Beyonce says, \"You know you that b*tch when you cause all this conversation.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Neither of them died, despite everyone's best efforts! Huzzah! And the future of my Drakenna / Morwennake merch line looks bright! Refrigerators, toilet plungers, neck tattoos. Sky's the limit!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Agatha. \u003c/strong>She was in the episode for approximately 42 seconds, but 42 seconds of Agatha is greater than 42 minutes of most of these other characters. A true legend. I hope there's a lot of port in heaven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>Scene-stealer. Heart-breaker. The only character worthy of a knighthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year (or until \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">my \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> start back up again in January, if you're into that sort of thing)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross murdered Demelza's wannabe date rapist by shooting him in the groin. My calves are still aching from all the dancing I did on his grave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers hand over the Drake and Morwenna wedding we deserve so I can keep my leg muscles toned? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tarot Card Agatha is celebrating her birthda.... wait, what the hell is going on?! She's supposed to be dead! Francis (a.k.a. Backstabber Cousin) is there too, despite being murdered by a puddle a while ago. You remember:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drowning-puddle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is this purgatory?! Alas, no, it's just a flashback to 1780. All the boys have longer hair and Elizabeth has yet to betray Ross by boo-ing up with his cousin while he's trying to survive a war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha tells everyone she's going to outlive them all (a prophecy I'd gladly get behind). For a seer, she really sucks at predicting the future. Blame the port, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107540\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-wine-port-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bewigged, fashionably late Ross arrives and makes an announcement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, ladies and germs! I just enlisted to check out that little scuffle over in America. I think it'll be pretty chill. Six months tops! Definitely not an eight-year-long bloodbath! And there's probably no chance that I'll have to watch all my friends die, get a huge scar on the side of my face and get unceremoniously dumped by my girlfriend while I'm away!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speak of the devil, Elizabeth waltzes in and drools all over Ross. Francis looks on like a weirdo:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-francis-gif-agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's like he's an extra-terrestrial trying out this smiling thing for the first time. Awkward face muscles aside, can we take a moment to appreciate how into hand kisses Agatha is in the background? Such a legend! The show hasn't been the same without her and her cute, prolonged farts.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Agatha pulls a card while staring at Elizabeth. \"She'll break a few hearts and bear beautiful children.\" True on the first count. Might want to check again on the second. No offense, but I would not call Duke of Puking in Random Corners Geoffrey Charles beautiful. And the jury's still out on Malfoy's gestating spawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107569\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ugly-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, perpetually the accidental sh*t-stirrer, asks, \"But who will be their father?\" Francis shares a look with Malfoy and ventures a guess: \"Well, not us, at any rate. It's always been Ross. It will always be Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wrong again! The answer we were looking for is: She will have a kid with each of you in the messiest Jerry Springer way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107570\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/jerry-springer-pregnant-fight.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"397\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom! We're back in 1799! Thanks to drunk ass Geoffrey Charles blurting out how obvious it is that Valentine is Ross' kid, Elizabeth needs to re-convince Malfoy that the only reason Valentine was born suspiciously early is because premature babies are her thing. Under a pseudonym, she seeks the help of a shady doctor, who gives her a Premie Potion. A spoonful will make that baby pop right on out. Sounds totally safe! Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, little-eared Horace (and Blondie) convince Ross to return to Cornwall with them so that he can apologize to Demelza for all the victim-blaming and groin-shooting he got up to last episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107477 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the carriage ride, a worried Horace (and Blondie) look on as Ross relives the duel drama in a daydream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this time, instead of Sir Scam-A-Lot, he shoots Prison Bestie! Give it a rest, Ross! The poor horny poet is long dead! So he had sand-dune sex with your wife! It happens! Get over it in the same way you expected Demelza to get over your own infidelity (not to mention, your love child)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107541\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/end-of-rant-mic-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Drake visits the cave he and Morwenna used to make out in and makes a wish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there, God? It's me, \u003cdel>Margaret\u003c/del> Drake, Sam's brother... you know, the guy who's so obsessed with you that you had to get a restraining order against him. Yeah, him! Anyway, could you cure Morwenna's PTSD so we can know something other than misery? Also, while I'm asking for things, could you inspire these haters to stop trying to murder me and burn down my barns? Thanks in advance! TTYL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, a whimper echoes around the make-out cave. It's Morwenna! And she's running away from Drake because that's her thing now (it's important to cultivate a personal brand).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake eventually catches up with her on a cliff's edge, the second most popular place to have really emotional and dramatic conversations (#1 is obviously beside crashing waves).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"Morwenna! I made a wish! The same wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107542\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"It will never be granted! I told you why!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-ooo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"And yet, do ye not think there not be more to life than carnal love? Just being together? Seeing together? All that's good and pure and rare and beautiful in the world? The glow of corn and the smell of spring? Summer rain? Autumn wind? Watching you wake, watching you sleep? Oh, my love, what is life if ye live it alone? Marry me. Be my wife. In name only. I'll never ask ye for more. Do ye not love me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107544\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"Of course I love you. This has never been just about love.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"But it has. And can only ever be. Will ye walk with me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107547 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-laughing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then she does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107546\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake and Morwenna find Demelza and tell her they plan to wed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/01/kristen-wiig-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Merch line is back on! It's finally happening!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the opposite end of the happiness spectrum, Malfoy, Elizabeth and Valentine are sharing a miserable carriage ride back to Cornwall. Valentine asks for a horse (so relatable). Malfoy glares at Valentine (now Ross Jr. in his eyes) and gives him the silent treatment. A totally normal thing for an adult man to do. Babies and grown-ups alike drop dead like flies pretty much every episode. Why isn't it ever Malfoy's turn??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107548\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/i-hate-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Elizabeth hears of Morwenna's attempt at finally being happy and rushes over to make her feel bad about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"But your child! How could you bring yourself to leave him?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He was taken from me, as much was taken from me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth remembers, \u003cem>Ohhhh yeah, I totally forgot about selling my own cousin into an abusive marriage against her will and about how she was raped a bunch and then almost committed to an insane asylum!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If only there was a tutorial out there that could help bad people stay on top of their evil deeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107532\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-160x200.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-800x1000.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-768x960.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-960x1200.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-240x300.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-375x469.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-520x650.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies.jpg 1103w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since involving herself in Morwenna's last marriage turned out so great, Elizabeth tries to convince Morwenna to get married at Malfoy's house. It makes perfect sense for Drake to get hitched in the home of the man who's been continuously trying to have him killed for the past several years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna gives Elizabeth an are-you-fing-kidding-me look and doesn't say anything for a while. I'm guessing Morwenna is taking the time to weigh the pros and cons of grabbing a candlestick and thwacking her no-good cousin over the head with it. Instead, Morwenna swallows all of Elizabeth's BS and gets manipulated into walking her all the way home. I preferred the death-by-Lumiere option, but that's just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get there, Elizabeth pressures Morwenna to come inside. Is Liz going to trap Morwenna in a bunker for a decade, after which Morwenna will be rescued, move to New York City and star in a silly Netflix series about reacclimating to a brave new world?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"481\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-800x601.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-768x577.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1200x902.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1180x887.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-960x721.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-520x391.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy.jpg 1737w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Against her better judgment, Morwenna stays for dinner, only to have Malfoy come home in a terrible mood. Since Geoffrey Charles already burst into the room and blurted out pot-stirring info last episode, this time it's Valentine's turn. \u003cem>Fake papa, did you know Morwenna is getting married?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy asks a maid to take \"that child\" away and doesn't waste any time calling Morwenna a trollop and throwing her out of the house. Elizabeth is too busy acting surprised to stop any of it. Drop the act, sister! It's tired! Your husband is evil! And you are complicit! Accept it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107551\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/annoying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By this point, word has gotten around that Elizabeth cousin-napped Morwenna, so Ross gallops off to rescue her. She's gone by the time he arrives, but that doesn't stop Malfoy from calling Ross inside because he lives for the drama and shouting about what a \"dim-witted trull\" Morwenna is. Again, Elizabeth acts surprised by how evil Malfoy is. She's giving me a headache!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107553\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/new-york-pollard-headache-migraine-rub-head.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Malfoy threatens to shoot Ross on the spot if he comes over ever again. Is Lil Malfoy that small? The insecurity! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last time these two were together, Malfoy used Ross' face as a coin slot, and now this? Ross has HAD IT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107554\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/iva-had-it-officially-ross-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lays it all out: \u003cem>Dude, you live in my family home, you stole my mine, you tried forcing me into bankruptcy, you encouraged a scammer to try date raping my wife and you married the ex I will never get over. And all because I put a frog in your pants two decades ago?! What more do you want?? Why isn't all this enough?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy responds by throwing yet another Veruca Salt-sized temper tantrum. Maid, can you take this child away too? Thank you next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/malfoy-george-poldark-bad-egg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this show never tires of torturing Morwenna, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies are chasing her through the woods with rabid dogs. Enough! Let this girl be happy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as the Slytherin cronies have Morwenna pinned against a tree, Drake appears, wielding a huge stick that says, NOT TODAY, SATAN! For some reason, the Slytherin cronies back down. I would have preferred some skull-cracking, but this works too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the manor, Malfoy and Elizabeth fight over Valentine some more. Malfoy says he knows Valentine's not really his son because of what Agatha told him after he canceled her 100th birthday party just to be a prick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such an iconic moment! Almost as iconic as...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-gun-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth continues to deny it all. And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Hell of Her Own Making goes to...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth stomps off to her bedroom, where she takes the Premie Potion. Moments later, Malfoy finds her passed out on the ground. We don't get to see her faint this time, but it's safe to assume it was bobble-head-ish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Horace is posing for a Playpup centerfold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107533\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-800x471.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-768x452.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1200x706.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1920x1130.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1180x695.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-960x565.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-240x141.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-375x221.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-520x306.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hair, body, face; triple threat! Those curves! Those gams! So bodacious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc is summoned to Elizabeth's bedside, where she is being as obvious as possible: \u003cem>Wow! It's just like last time! Another premie! What a coincidink! I don't cheat; I just have an inhospitable womb! See? Valentine is your baby (if you squint a lot and ignore all the other obvious signs)!\u003c/em> Malfoy buys it cause he's an idiot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth gives birth to a baby girl and names her Urusla because being a Disney villain runs in this family. Malfoy vows to be a better human being and stop treating Valentine like trash. Also, he announces that he found a shady way to force the Prime Minister to recommend him for a knighthood. How nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/eyeroll-drink-nicole-richie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza are back on speaking / sexy terms, but not all is forgiven just yet. Spitting strawberries into each other's mouths is still off the menu.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107534\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-160x87.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-800x434.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-768x417.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1200x651.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1920x1041.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1180x640.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-960x521.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-375x203.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-520x282.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he just can't help himself, Ross brings up Prison Bestie AGAIN (for those keeping track at home, the season total is now at 943). Get a grip, Ross! The poetry wasn't that good! And sand dune sex isn't all it's cracked out to be. Two words: gritty undercarriages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107559\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sandy-dog.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"348\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Elizabeth wakes up with intense cramps. She asks Malfoy, \"Why is it so dark? I'm afraid of the dark!\" Thumper's mom \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ\">has advised me\u003c/a> not to comment on this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107571\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/genie_zipper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard that Elizabeth is ill, Ross rushes over and is promptly denied at the door on Malfoy's order. Ross breaks in anyway and implores Malfoy to quit being such a little sh*t. That's when Malfoy very flippantly announces: \u003cem>Oh, by the way, Elizabeth is totally dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-owl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hurries to her bedroom and finds that it's true. He kisses her one final time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107377\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/thats-sad-huh-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone who is a dedicated reader of these recaps knows I do not care for Elizabeth. Just cause she's dead now doesn't erase all the terrible stuff she's done. Not gonna get any real tears from me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107572\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fake-cry-again.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"336\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll admit that Valentine grabbing hold of Malfoy's hand while looking at his dead mother did put me in my feeling just a wee bit, but it's time to snap out of it 'cause we are being graced with the last Horace scene of the season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107562 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ebony-antm-fake-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"164\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know there are more serious issues at hand right now, but can someone please let Horace down? (Watch the bottom left corner.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107538 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cant-get-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jumping off of furniture is beneath someone of his social standing!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107537 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-looking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, Ross tells Demelza that Elizabeth is dead. She acts concerned, but we all know what's she's really thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moral of the story: if you and your hot husband cheat on each other, both of your affair partners will end up dead in no time. Adultery kills!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for the season's final fireplace couple's therapy session. Ross brings up Prison Bestie yet again (updated count: 944) and Demelza does her best to put his jealousy to bed: \"Prison Bestie did touch my heart \u003cdel>and a few other things\u003c/del>, but only you have ever owned it.\" Aw, that's nice. \u003cem>Prudie, fetch the strawberries! We've got some sexy baby bird feeding to do! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I would revolt without it, the writers FINALLY LET DRAKE AND MORWENNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mrual4lQ0P1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"130\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107563\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-kid.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"322\" height=\"242\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107564 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/celebrate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And not a moment too soon! I can finally exhale now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While everyone celebrates mere feet away, Malfoy stares at Elizabeth's grave while plotting another season worth of evil shenanigans. But I'm not going to worry about any of that now. I've got better things to do, mainly putting on my official Morwennake one-piece bathing suit and then giving myself a manicure using the official Drakenna nail clipper, while sipping tea out of the official Morwennake tea set, before going to bed wrapped in the official Drakenna comforter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth.\u003c/strong> I could pretend that I care that she's dead, but y'all would know I was faking. I have two parting messages for Elizabeth. The first: TTYN. And the last:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/heLL1ExEzQA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/heLL1ExEzQA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Even in death, he and his horny poetry continued to define this season. As Beyonce says, \"You know you that b*tch when you cause all this conversation.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Neither of them died, despite everyone's best efforts! Huzzah! And the future of my Drakenna / Morwennake merch line looks bright! Refrigerators, toilet plungers, neck tattoos. Sky's the limit!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Agatha. \u003c/strong>She was in the episode for approximately 42 seconds, but 42 seconds of Agatha is greater than 42 minutes of most of these other characters. A true legend. I hope there's a lot of port in heaven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>Scene-stealer. Heart-breaker. The only character worthy of a knighthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year (or until \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">my \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> start back up again in January, if you're into that sort of thing)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Elizabeth and Morwenna both realized they were carrying demonic embryos. Will they pose for an \u003cem>OMG-we're-both-preggers-at-the-same-time\u003c/em> photoshoot like Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"516\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg 615w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-240x309.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-375x484.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-520x671.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We pick up right where we left off: with Ross and Demelza mid-coitus on the floor of their London sex den. They take turns spitting strawberries into each other's mouths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-spit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is there anything that could ruin the sexual healing mood?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, there is, and it's this line from Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Do you wish the children were here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shrink-sign-language.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, not so much! My twig and berries are literally out right now. The fact that we leave the kids at home all the time and ignore them when we're actually around is enough fodder for their future therapy sessions, let's not add witnessing their parents boink to the list.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza continues to, um, deflate the situation, with this line: \"Well, at this rate, we'll be soon adding to their number.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No more pregnancies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn't PBS' \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just have filthy floorboard sex and let that be enough!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swim slower, Ross' sperm!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be more standoffish, Demelza's ovaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/NO-MORE-KIDS.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy shows off the new mansion he bought with blood money and announces he will host a masked ball so that Geoffrey Charles and all the other rich Londoners have another opportunity to puke all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tries to slow his roll a little bit: \"My dear, recollect how many times your invitations have not found the favor they deserve.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Translation: You are a social pariah and absolutely no one wants to willingly party with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy agrees that everyone hates his guts, but adds he plans to make it a charity event so everyone shows up out of pity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The entire time this conversation is happening, poor little Valentine is in the corner silently playing on a huge rocking horse. #OnlyChildProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compare and contrast:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rocking-horse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/seesaw-valentine-lonely-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a daytime rave, Demelza is delighted by all the razzmatazz London has to offer. Somehow, she doesn't notice the best and cutest guest at the party:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/monkey-cute-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I want to know this monkey's name and what she's munching on and what her favorite color is! (If I had to guess I'd say Curious Georgina, watermelon Bubblicious gum and aquamarine.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Horace the Pug catches me checking out a cute \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> animal that isn't him. My bad! Behold the one and only king of my heart:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107337\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-cutie-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such a heartthrob! What monkey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross and Demelza's sex den, Demelza says she's tuckered out from all the sight-seeing and is going to take a nap. Ross seductively asks, \"What if I have other plans for you?\" They proceed to have sex for the 392nd time this week. I hope they tip the hotel maid a pretty penny (pence?) for having to scrub down every surface after they check out. Also, as I said before, PLEASE NO MORE BABIES. JUST SAY NO!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Drake takes a look at the new barn he's moving into. This one is somehow sadder than the last. Sam offers to help him renovate it. I smell an HGTV spinoff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"616\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg 616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Toe Jam Lane, Gross Goblin Mama stands a mere three paces away from Morwenna as she tells a doctor about her plan to lock Morwenna up in a loony bin the second she gives birth to the Anti-Christ. Have you ever seen a face express the feeling of \u003ca href=\"http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/fml\">FML\u003c/a> this strongly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fml-morwenna-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin Mama goes on to tell Morwenna that she better have a boy because \"girls are of use to no one.\" Where's Feminist Ross when you need him?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107370\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We immediately get our answer. He's at the masked ball! Sir Scam-A-Lot is also in attendance. And he has the hots for Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"The hair is a touch provincial, but the rest is good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Doubtless, she's been dressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"Then she must be undressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, don't you worry. She has. Countless times. All over that hotel room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy eggs Sir Scam-A-Lot on in his attempt to seduce Demelza. His pickup line could use some work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-cannibal.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His next pickup strategy—loudly licking his fingers, making way too much eye contact and showing off coat buttons that contain the hair of men he's murdered in duels—isn't much better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, he looks at Ross and his friend who's a girl and says, \"Delicious body.\" Demelza assumes he's talking about Ross because... well, you've seen the shirtless scything and swimming gifs. Sir Scam-A-Lot clarifies he's objectifying his friend, \"though I venture Poldark's has much to recommend it.\" Damn right it does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This attempted mating ritual gets more awkward (and more lizardy) by the second:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/creepy-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, Sir Scam-A-Lot just comes out and says it. \u003cem>Hey, girl, when can we be alone? I'm interested in date-raping you. \u003c/em>Thankfully, Ross, Blondie and \u003cem>Doc \u003c/em>show up to diffuse the situation. But that doesn't stop Sir Scam-A-Lot and Malfoy from betting on whether he can have sex with Demelza by the end of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, if this episode ends in sexual violence, I am grabbing a pitchfork and marching right up to Masterpiece Theater Headquarters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*looks up where that actually is, discovers it's all the way in Virginia*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll email them a pitchfork selfie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy is annoyed that he can't bulldoze a poor neighborhood without consequences. Elizabeth offers up a sneakier way to displace all the poor people. Her one-way ticket to hell just got upgraded to first-class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106667 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and in case you were wondering, Valentine is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> rocking on that horse silently in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107383\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/valentine-alone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another party, Sir Scam-A-Lot continues to harass Demelza. His one-liners are somehow getting grosser: \"You have an agile tongue, which I shall know what to do with, in due course.\" Ross has knocked dudes out for way less, so what's the hold up here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107384\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/what-are-you-waiting-for-i-know-what.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross and Demelza are not having sex for once. Instead, they're arguing over Demelza not doing enough to spurn Sir Scam-A-Lot. What's next, Ross? Her dress was too short? She was asking for it? Don't make me rescind my Feminist Ross animated gif!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blood Money Mansion, Malfoy brags about blackmailing someone for their vote in Parliament. Elizabeth proudly tells Valentine how clever his fake dad is, but Val is too busy playing solitaire (no, really, that's not a joke) to respond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza confides in Doc and Blondie about Ross' jealousy. The gang is too distracted by dumb drama to recognize Curious Georgina's cuteness. Literally everyone else is rubber-necking to gaze at the adorable legend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107360\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"532\" height=\"435\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png 532w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-160x131.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-240x196.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-375x307.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-520x425.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 532px) 100vw, 532px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Demelza returns to her hotel room, Sir Scam-A-Lot is creepily waiting. He goes from zero to date rapist in no time at all, blocking the exit and saying gross things like, \"Tell me. Do you cry out when a man takes you?\" Demelza, grab a candlestick! It's the murder weapon du \u003cdel>jour\u003c/del> Season 4 after all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107361\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"344\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-800x430.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-768x413.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1200x645.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1920x1032.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1180x634.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-960x516.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-240x129.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-520x280.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has a better idea. Apparently, that white knob rings the innkeeper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/saved-by-the-bell-logo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"378\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Sir Scam-A-Lot keeps flapping his gums.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"May I wait on you some other time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Probably won't ever be in the mood to be raped, so no.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"I see. It's not me you're afraid of but your husband! Does he beat you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Frequently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well played, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107364\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/middle-finger-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross returns home, he's more concerned with what Demelza did to encourage Sir Scam-A-Lot than what Sir Scam-A-Lot attempted to do. Consider the Feminist Ross gif rescinded! WTF. Read a book, dude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107369\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-not-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowing that he needs to start getting back in my good graces, the next day in Parliament, Ross physically accosts Sir Scam-A-Lot for sitting on his gloves and generally being a prick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107371\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/hit-punch-yas.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different note, can we all pitch in to buy this dude a decent lace-front wig? He clearly needs our help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107372\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"690\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-160x173.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-800x863.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-768x829.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-960x1036.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-240x259.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-375x405.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-520x561.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM.png 1066w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of hair, Sir Scam-A-Lot wants to murder Ross and make a button out of his curls, so he invites him to a duel. Despite not being a very good shot, Ross agrees because last week's episode was kind of a snooze. They take their paces, fire and both take a hit! Sir Scam-A-Lot nips Ross in the arm. Ross gets him right in the groin. (Nice one, Ross! A few inches over would have been even better!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to help, but Sir Scam-A-Lot isn't very gracious about the whole thing: \"I wish I shot your head off. Damn and blast you to all eternity.\" Then, he passes out. Perhaps forever?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My eulogy for him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Doc pokes into Ross' open wound, which almost causes Demelza to pull a Geoffrey Charles all over the floor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107373\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/demelza-vomit-puke-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a knock at the door!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Duels are illegal so it might be the police!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, it's just a letter...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...saying that Sir Scam-A-Lot croaked!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Morwenna has a miscarriage. I feel very ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ over this turn of events, as does Morwenna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gross Goblin Mama:\u003c/strong> \"The doctor believes you have suffered greatly since your miscarriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He's mistaken. I believe it was for the best.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107385\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/no-lies-detected.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"100\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake is working in his new barn when Morwenna shows up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107386\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-arrested-development.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She explains why she keeps shunning him: she can't bear to be touched or kissed or anything else 'cause it'll trigger her PTSD and make her think of being raped by Gross Goblin for years. Then she runs off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107387\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sad-frown-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, over at Blood Money Mansion, while Valentine silently plays with an abacus (LOL), Malfoy tries to think of a way to expose the duel and hopefully get Ross hanged or something. He runs and snitches to the Attorney General, but the AG's response is basically, \u003cem>Get a life, loser.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, while Valentine again rocks on the horse by himself, Geoffrey Charles serves his function as a mere plot device by bursting in out of nowhere and blurting out how much Valentine looks like Ross. Elizabeth and Malfoy both make this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107378\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-monkey-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie and Doc have an entire Horace-centric conversation about their relationship:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace wonders why he must be abandoned.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace knows that I've already stayed longer than intended.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Horace wonders why Doc can't find it in his heart to love London as he does.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Horace knows that he and I are different breeds. Perhaps Horace will return to Cornwall sooner than he thought.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps he will.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107379\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cutie-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From now on, Horace is my preferred pronoun. Horace wonders why all episodes can't be about Horace. Horace can't believe there's only one episode left in the season. Horace wonders if you all will come back and read \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> even though there are no cute pugs in that show. Horace is going to get on with the rest of the recap now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the party grounds, Curious Georgina is nowhere to be found, but the other usual suspects are in attendance. Malfoy stomps past Ross, which reminds Ross that, for some reason, he has to pay Sir Scam-A-Lot's \u003cem>I-bet-I-can-rape-Demelza\u003c/em> wager to Malfoy. Things quickly get out of hand:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't think anything could top the fight when Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out or the fight when Ross almost roasted Malfoy's entire head in a roaring fireplace, but using someone's face as a coin slot comes pretty close!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth says, \"I cannot imagine...!\" Girl, quit lying. You know exactly the kind of person you're married to. Heck, you help him enact evil pretty much every episode! And you know exactly why he's pissed, so let's skip the act.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107388\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shh-youre-getting-on-my-nerves-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross wakes to find a letter from Demelza. It goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, hey.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I'm going home. Feeding each other strawberries like mama birds was fun, but all the sexual harassment, victim-blaming and groin mutilation has gotten to be too much for me. This is where I would write 'I want a divorce' if that was a thing women could ask for in the 18th-century, but instead, I'll say 'See ya when I see ya.'\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Sir Scam-A-Lot. \u003c/strong>You tried it. Enjoy eternal damnation!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Dude With The Terrible Wig. \u003c/strong>I feel like he has nothing in his life, so the least I can do is throw a worthless award his way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>No one introverts harder. And no one is more likely to snap one day and kill his entire family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>For not getting too mad over my Curious Georgina wandering eye. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">PTSD is all that stands in the way of their love (and my \u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Drakenna / Morwennake merch line). That can be cleared up in the season finale and not take years of intense therapy, right? I'm gonna go with yes. After all they've endured, they deserve to spit strawberries into each other's mouths!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, Demelza experiences a #MeToo moment, blood is spilled and a random cute monkey shows up!",
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"description": "This week, Demelza experiences a #MeToo moment, blood is spilled and a random cute monkey shows up!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Elizabeth and Morwenna both realized they were carrying demonic embryos. Will they pose for an \u003cem>OMG-we're-both-preggers-at-the-same-time\u003c/em> photoshoot like Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"516\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg 615w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-240x309.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-375x484.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-520x671.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We pick up right where we left off: with Ross and Demelza mid-coitus on the floor of their London sex den. They take turns spitting strawberries into each other's mouths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-spit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is there anything that could ruin the sexual healing mood?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, there is, and it's this line from Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Do you wish the children were here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shrink-sign-language.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, not so much! My twig and berries are literally out right now. The fact that we leave the kids at home all the time and ignore them when we're actually around is enough fodder for their future therapy sessions, let's not add witnessing their parents boink to the list.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza continues to, um, deflate the situation, with this line: \"Well, at this rate, we'll be soon adding to their number.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No more pregnancies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn't PBS' \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just have filthy floorboard sex and let that be enough!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swim slower, Ross' sperm!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be more standoffish, Demelza's ovaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/NO-MORE-KIDS.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy shows off the new mansion he bought with blood money and announces he will host a masked ball so that Geoffrey Charles and all the other rich Londoners have another opportunity to puke all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tries to slow his roll a little bit: \"My dear, recollect how many times your invitations have not found the favor they deserve.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Translation: You are a social pariah and absolutely no one wants to willingly party with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy agrees that everyone hates his guts, but adds he plans to make it a charity event so everyone shows up out of pity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The entire time this conversation is happening, poor little Valentine is in the corner silently playing on a huge rocking horse. #OnlyChildProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compare and contrast:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rocking-horse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/seesaw-valentine-lonely-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a daytime rave, Demelza is delighted by all the razzmatazz London has to offer. Somehow, she doesn't notice the best and cutest guest at the party:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/monkey-cute-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I want to know this monkey's name and what she's munching on and what her favorite color is! (If I had to guess I'd say Curious Georgina, watermelon Bubblicious gum and aquamarine.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Horace the Pug catches me checking out a cute \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> animal that isn't him. My bad! Behold the one and only king of my heart:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107337\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-cutie-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such a heartthrob! What monkey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross and Demelza's sex den, Demelza says she's tuckered out from all the sight-seeing and is going to take a nap. Ross seductively asks, \"What if I have other plans for you?\" They proceed to have sex for the 392nd time this week. I hope they tip the hotel maid a pretty penny (pence?) for having to scrub down every surface after they check out. Also, as I said before, PLEASE NO MORE BABIES. JUST SAY NO!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Drake takes a look at the new barn he's moving into. This one is somehow sadder than the last. Sam offers to help him renovate it. I smell an HGTV spinoff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"616\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg 616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Toe Jam Lane, Gross Goblin Mama stands a mere three paces away from Morwenna as she tells a doctor about her plan to lock Morwenna up in a loony bin the second she gives birth to the Anti-Christ. Have you ever seen a face express the feeling of \u003ca href=\"http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/fml\">FML\u003c/a> this strongly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fml-morwenna-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin Mama goes on to tell Morwenna that she better have a boy because \"girls are of use to no one.\" Where's Feminist Ross when you need him?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107370\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We immediately get our answer. He's at the masked ball! Sir Scam-A-Lot is also in attendance. And he has the hots for Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"The hair is a touch provincial, but the rest is good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Doubtless, she's been dressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"Then she must be undressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, don't you worry. She has. Countless times. All over that hotel room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy eggs Sir Scam-A-Lot on in his attempt to seduce Demelza. His pickup line could use some work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-cannibal.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His next pickup strategy—loudly licking his fingers, making way too much eye contact and showing off coat buttons that contain the hair of men he's murdered in duels—isn't much better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, he looks at Ross and his friend who's a girl and says, \"Delicious body.\" Demelza assumes he's talking about Ross because... well, you've seen the shirtless scything and swimming gifs. Sir Scam-A-Lot clarifies he's objectifying his friend, \"though I venture Poldark's has much to recommend it.\" Damn right it does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This attempted mating ritual gets more awkward (and more lizardy) by the second:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/creepy-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, Sir Scam-A-Lot just comes out and says it. \u003cem>Hey, girl, when can we be alone? I'm interested in date-raping you. \u003c/em>Thankfully, Ross, Blondie and \u003cem>Doc \u003c/em>show up to diffuse the situation. But that doesn't stop Sir Scam-A-Lot and Malfoy from betting on whether he can have sex with Demelza by the end of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, if this episode ends in sexual violence, I am grabbing a pitchfork and marching right up to Masterpiece Theater Headquarters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*looks up where that actually is, discovers it's all the way in Virginia*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll email them a pitchfork selfie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy is annoyed that he can't bulldoze a poor neighborhood without consequences. Elizabeth offers up a sneakier way to displace all the poor people. Her one-way ticket to hell just got upgraded to first-class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106667 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and in case you were wondering, Valentine is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> rocking on that horse silently in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107383\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/valentine-alone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another party, Sir Scam-A-Lot continues to harass Demelza. His one-liners are somehow getting grosser: \"You have an agile tongue, which I shall know what to do with, in due course.\" Ross has knocked dudes out for way less, so what's the hold up here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107384\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/what-are-you-waiting-for-i-know-what.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross and Demelza are not having sex for once. Instead, they're arguing over Demelza not doing enough to spurn Sir Scam-A-Lot. What's next, Ross? Her dress was too short? She was asking for it? Don't make me rescind my Feminist Ross animated gif!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blood Money Mansion, Malfoy brags about blackmailing someone for their vote in Parliament. Elizabeth proudly tells Valentine how clever his fake dad is, but Val is too busy playing solitaire (no, really, that's not a joke) to respond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza confides in Doc and Blondie about Ross' jealousy. The gang is too distracted by dumb drama to recognize Curious Georgina's cuteness. Literally everyone else is rubber-necking to gaze at the adorable legend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107360\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"532\" height=\"435\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png 532w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-160x131.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-240x196.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-375x307.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-520x425.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 532px) 100vw, 532px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Demelza returns to her hotel room, Sir Scam-A-Lot is creepily waiting. He goes from zero to date rapist in no time at all, blocking the exit and saying gross things like, \"Tell me. Do you cry out when a man takes you?\" Demelza, grab a candlestick! It's the murder weapon du \u003cdel>jour\u003c/del> Season 4 after all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107361\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"344\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-800x430.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-768x413.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1200x645.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1920x1032.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1180x634.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-960x516.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-240x129.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-520x280.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has a better idea. Apparently, that white knob rings the innkeeper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/saved-by-the-bell-logo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"378\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Sir Scam-A-Lot keeps flapping his gums.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"May I wait on you some other time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Probably won't ever be in the mood to be raped, so no.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"I see. It's not me you're afraid of but your husband! Does he beat you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Frequently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well played, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107364\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/middle-finger-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross returns home, he's more concerned with what Demelza did to encourage Sir Scam-A-Lot than what Sir Scam-A-Lot attempted to do. Consider the Feminist Ross gif rescinded! WTF. Read a book, dude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107369\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-not-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowing that he needs to start getting back in my good graces, the next day in Parliament, Ross physically accosts Sir Scam-A-Lot for sitting on his gloves and generally being a prick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107371\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/hit-punch-yas.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different note, can we all pitch in to buy this dude a decent lace-front wig? He clearly needs our help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107372\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"690\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-160x173.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-800x863.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-768x829.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-960x1036.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-240x259.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-375x405.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-520x561.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM.png 1066w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of hair, Sir Scam-A-Lot wants to murder Ross and make a button out of his curls, so he invites him to a duel. Despite not being a very good shot, Ross agrees because last week's episode was kind of a snooze. They take their paces, fire and both take a hit! Sir Scam-A-Lot nips Ross in the arm. Ross gets him right in the groin. (Nice one, Ross! A few inches over would have been even better!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to help, but Sir Scam-A-Lot isn't very gracious about the whole thing: \"I wish I shot your head off. Damn and blast you to all eternity.\" Then, he passes out. Perhaps forever?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My eulogy for him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Doc pokes into Ross' open wound, which almost causes Demelza to pull a Geoffrey Charles all over the floor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107373\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/demelza-vomit-puke-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a knock at the door!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Duels are illegal so it might be the police!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, it's just a letter...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...saying that Sir Scam-A-Lot croaked!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Morwenna has a miscarriage. I feel very ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ over this turn of events, as does Morwenna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gross Goblin Mama:\u003c/strong> \"The doctor believes you have suffered greatly since your miscarriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He's mistaken. I believe it was for the best.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107385\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/no-lies-detected.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"100\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake is working in his new barn when Morwenna shows up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107386\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-arrested-development.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She explains why she keeps shunning him: she can't bear to be touched or kissed or anything else 'cause it'll trigger her PTSD and make her think of being raped by Gross Goblin for years. Then she runs off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107387\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sad-frown-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, over at Blood Money Mansion, while Valentine silently plays with an abacus (LOL), Malfoy tries to think of a way to expose the duel and hopefully get Ross hanged or something. He runs and snitches to the Attorney General, but the AG's response is basically, \u003cem>Get a life, loser.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, while Valentine again rocks on the horse by himself, Geoffrey Charles serves his function as a mere plot device by bursting in out of nowhere and blurting out how much Valentine looks like Ross. Elizabeth and Malfoy both make this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107378\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-monkey-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie and Doc have an entire Horace-centric conversation about their relationship:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace wonders why he must be abandoned.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace knows that I've already stayed longer than intended.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Horace wonders why Doc can't find it in his heart to love London as he does.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Horace knows that he and I are different breeds. Perhaps Horace will return to Cornwall sooner than he thought.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps he will.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107379\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cutie-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From now on, Horace is my preferred pronoun. Horace wonders why all episodes can't be about Horace. Horace can't believe there's only one episode left in the season. Horace wonders if you all will come back and read \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> even though there are no cute pugs in that show. Horace is going to get on with the rest of the recap now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the party grounds, Curious Georgina is nowhere to be found, but the other usual suspects are in attendance. Malfoy stomps past Ross, which reminds Ross that, for some reason, he has to pay Sir Scam-A-Lot's \u003cem>I-bet-I-can-rape-Demelza\u003c/em> wager to Malfoy. Things quickly get out of hand:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't think anything could top the fight when Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out or the fight when Ross almost roasted Malfoy's entire head in a roaring fireplace, but using someone's face as a coin slot comes pretty close!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth says, \"I cannot imagine...!\" Girl, quit lying. You know exactly the kind of person you're married to. Heck, you help him enact evil pretty much every episode! And you know exactly why he's pissed, so let's skip the act.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107388\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shh-youre-getting-on-my-nerves-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross wakes to find a letter from Demelza. It goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, hey.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I'm going home. Feeding each other strawberries like mama birds was fun, but all the sexual harassment, victim-blaming and groin mutilation has gotten to be too much for me. This is where I would write 'I want a divorce' if that was a thing women could ask for in the 18th-century, but instead, I'll say 'See ya when I see ya.'\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Sir Scam-A-Lot. \u003c/strong>You tried it. Enjoy eternal damnation!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Dude With The Terrible Wig. \u003c/strong>I feel like he has nothing in his life, so the least I can do is throw a worthless award his way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>No one introverts harder. And no one is more likely to snap one day and kill his entire family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>For not getting too mad over my Curious Georgina wandering eye. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">PTSD is all that stands in the way of their love (and my \u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Drakenna / Morwennake merch line). That can be cleared up in the season finale and not take years of intense therapy, right? I'm gonna go with yes. After all they've endured, they deserve to spit strawberries into each other's mouths!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a candlestick, a spooked horse, a few trees and karma joined forces to murder Gross Goblin (*blasts Etta James' \"At Last\"*).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a single episode, the experience of watching this show went from this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107066\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/watching-poldark-happy-vicar-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will an inanimate object do us a solid and kill off another evil character this week? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woah, that was fast! Another evildoer has croaked! Way to go, Lumiere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107035\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lumiere-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, the deceased is just some random banker dude who embezzled other people's money. This brings us to this week's edition of Malfoy Has A New Evil Plan To Get Even With Ross For Being Hotter Than He Is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bank in question is where all of Ross' life savings are, so if Malfoy can bully the town into withdrawing all of their funds, the bank will go under, taking all the Poldark coins with it and jeopardizing the mine and all of its employees. Malfoy borrows a bon mot from Marie Antoinette and puts his own spin on it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107145\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-960x540.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a pacifist, but my fist naturally clenches every time I see Malfoy's face. It's just begging for a punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107040\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hermione-punch-malfoy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Malfoy's face, Elizabeth walks in while he's plotting and says, \"You have a particular expression when you're conspiring against Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It looks like a cross between this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107042\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/orig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"635\" height=\"476\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, someone tells Demelza about Not So Dearly Departed Embezzler's death. Her reaction is so brutal that it could kill the man all over again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107045\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ha-ha-laughing-captain-luc-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"293\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Demelza soon learns what this particular rando's death might mean for the family's financial future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107050\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sailor-moon-piggy-bank-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107049\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/help-me-im-poor.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ominous music plays while Drake floats face down in the ocean. He might be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But let's focus on the important thing first:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's shirtless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-drake-face-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, now that that requisite half-naked gif is out of the way, let's get back to the whole is-Drake-dead thing. Turns out he's alive and just being really dramatic. These days, we process a difficult breakup by posting something passive-aggressive on social media and/or crying while singing an Adele ballad at karaoke. I guess, back then, the only way to deal with heartbreak was pretending you've drowned to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Drake lives to see another day (which will likely involve someone trying to arrest him, murder him, dump him or all of the above). My career advice: Turn lemons into lemonade by producing a sensitive rap album all about his hardships and emo feelings, just like \u003ca href=\"https://static.vibe.com/files/2013/09/vibe-vixen-drake-nothing-was-the-same-album-cover-compressed.jpg\">his 21st-century namesake\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"820\" height=\"820\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg 820w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 820px) 100vw, 820px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an apology for making us think Drake was dead for 3 seconds, the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers whip up a serving of their signature special: a scene involving a wet half-naked man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107096 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-body-swimming-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107095 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam ignores the sinfulness of Drake's naked nipples and begs Drake to leave the barn ashes behind and move in with him. Drake refuses and shares this little heart-stabbing nugget: \"Morwenna is dead to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/shut-your-dirty-little-mouth-colbert-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"332\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake plans to enlist in the military or get into some other calamitous situation that'll keep Drakenna / Morwennake apart for another few episodes. Can y'all just hand over the happy ending we rightfully deserve? I'm tired!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107099 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/give-it-to-me-now-colbrrt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, has Drake forgotten what happens when you go to war in the 18th century? You end up with:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A scar on your face (not everyone can pull it off like Ross)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A case of PTSD (Doc no longer has the ability to appreciate when Blondie sneaks up on him and screams \"BOO!\" in his ear)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A blow to your eyesight that will make it especially hard to write horny poetry by candlelight for your friend's wife (I miss you, Prison Bestie, and can't wait to see you on \u003ca href=\"https://deadline.com/2018/10/game-of-thrones-prequel-josh-whitehouse-mr-burberry-poldark-valley-girl-1202493011/\">the Game of Thrones prequel\u003c/a>!).\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Point is: STAY HOME, DRAKE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the actors' real lives, how come none of you told me Mrs. Pigpen a.k.a. Prudie looks this cute IRL?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107103\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, that's Aidan Turner biting her face. Some people have all the luck.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, back to the show...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth suddenly gets winded and has to sit down for no apparent reason. Is she going to die?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My official response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*abruptly stops my evil celebratory laughter* Hold on a second. Elizabeth has a flashback of Ross advising her to get pregnant and lie about the dates so Malfoy will think premies are her thing and that Valentine is truly their kid. So I guess she's not dying and just hiding a pregnancy then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/disappointed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of disappointing developments, Morwenna has been experiencing palpitations and nausea. Please don't tell me she's carrying another mini Gross Goblin. I can't take much more of this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/no-i-cant-not-doing-that-toddlers-tiaras-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross attends yet another rave featuring the same old staples: pyrotechnics, cool IKEA lanterns and Geoffrey Charles' puking in a corner. Thankfully, we are spared a close-up of the chunks this time, but we do get to see him drool out the excess saliva that lets you know all those Goldfish crackers you ate earlier are about to swim back up very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107147\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/goldfish-crackers-mouth.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross convinces Geoffrey Charles to come back to Cornwall and sober up. Geoffrey Charles asks Ross, \"Why could you not have been my stepfather?\" Ross is too polite to say: \u003cem>Umm, because your mom got with my first cousin while I was trying to survive a war. Then got with my worst enemy. Oh, and she killed one of my kids with her germs. That's why! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is busy trying to single-handedly save the bank. A mob has gathered outside of its doors, wanting to withdraw all their money. Demelza convinces them to cool their jets by essentially filming a Suze Orman infomercial about how important it is to invest. The villagers and I are buying what she's selling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake dramatically walks up a hill and runs into... Rosina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we not? I thought the animated gifs I made last week made my position on force-feeding us this character abundantly clear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina tells Drake that, if she can handle everyone gossiping about how she was dumped on her wedding day, he can handle sticking around Cornwall and not moving away forever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine. Rosina is right. She still bugs me though. #TeamDrakenna/Morwennake4ever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good news! Demelza's Suze Orman impression saved the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107107 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"257\" height=\"196\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg 257w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-160x122.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-240x183.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 257px) 100vw, 257px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad news! Malfoy finds out and figures out another way to shut down the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-375x281.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rushes home to tell Elizabeth all about how he just robbed Ross of his life savings. Cut to Ross dropping Geoffrey Charles' drunk ass off at Malfoy's house and Elizabeth asking him to stay a while. Oooh, this is going to be good. Here's hoping whatever happens involves Ross putting Malfoy's head into a lit fireplace again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stop everything!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace has returned!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-pug-run-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Blondie is back too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc and Blondie share a sweet moment, but I can't stop laughing at Horace's lil photobombing butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"345\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-800x432.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-768x414.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1200x648.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1920x1036.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1180x637.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-960x518.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-520x281.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Liz's house, Elizabeth tells Ross she suspects Malfoy is scheming again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Against me? Never!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"It's his way. I've grown used to it. I'm content.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay, glad \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> content with Malfoy continuously trying to ruin lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/middle-finger-censored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/you-suck-abby-miller.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valentine runs in and Ross finally meets his secret love child for the first time. Ross shakes his little hand and says, \"Happy to make your acquaintance, sir.\" Maybe it's leftover Baby Sara feels, but I'm oddly touched!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As he's being led out of the room by his nanny, Valentine stops, turns and waves goodbye to Ross, who salutes. I feel a tear coming. You get back in that tear duct! This show has wrung out too many emotions out of me! I'm dehydrated!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But here it comes anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107117\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lauren-conrad-tear.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"862\" height=\"478\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as Ross' carriage pulls away, Malfoy rides up to the house. Elizabeth looks like she just passed several kidney stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107118\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"237\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, being the master of deception that she is, Elizabeth quickly recovers and leads Malfoy to believe that the carriage has just dropped off Geoffrey Charles. Guess I didn't need that popcorn after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107119\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn-reverse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Demelza is freaking out about her Suze Orman plan not working. Ross shows up to say he doesn't really care about all this bank business that much. Ok, great! Does this mean we get a new storyline I actually care about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not. Ross spends an entire day, going door to door, trying to convince rich dudes to save the bank. They all laugh in his face before diving into their pools full of gold coins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107120\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ducktales-pool-gold-coins.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home with his tail between his legs and asks Demelza for advice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What's your opinion?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Mine??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We're partners, are we not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107121\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-as-beyonce-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Way to show everyone that men can be feminists too, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next evening, Demelza decides to throw a \u003cem>Let's-get-tanked-instead-of-thinking-about-how-I-can't-pay-y'all!\u003c/em> kegger for the mine employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is in great spirits. Except for me. Because this keeps happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107141\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rosina-drake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Sam distracts Drake with some good advice: \u003cem>Hey, you're already looking at eternal damnation for kissing Morwenna last year. Might as well go to her house one last time and try to be with her\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107142\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/britney-thumbs-up-creepy-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, everyone attends the grand opening of a new hospital. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107122\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kim-yawn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Ross has a bit too much to drink and calls Malfoy out for being a sniveling little you-know-what. Malfoy calls him a storm in a teacup. And the award for cutest insult in a dick-measuring contest goes to....!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107124\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chip-beauty-and-the-beast-bubbles.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things escalate. Ross screams \"You lie!\" and yoinks Malfoy's frilly blouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-pulls-george-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put his head in the fireplace, Ross! Kill him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107125\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kill-him.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"468\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh. Before he gets the chance, Elizabeth passes out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could see this becoming a new dance craze. Do the bobblehead!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Drake follows Sam's advice and shows up at Morwenna's house. He lays it all on the line: \"I love ye still. And so I ask one final time, Will ye not take me? 'Tis no sin to love me. Can you not see that there be hope?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107140\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hope-poster-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"498\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes my Hope poster and promptly rips it to shreds. \"I did think so once, but now... Please go and never return. I'm with child.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107129 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/will-smith-scream-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/wendy-cant.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is complete and utter BS! Now I have to cancel my merchandise line. How am I going to get rich now??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107139 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107138\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-520x475.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107136\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Horace's house, Blondie tells Doc that Cornwall is boring as hell and invites him to come to London with her this time. Everyone should get the chance to watch Geoffrey Charles puke on a fancy rug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boring bank storyline comes to an end with Ross and his Bankrupt Banker Bestie becoming partners in a more prestigious bank. Nice try, Malfoy. So close, yet so far away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107148\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jump-in-pool.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the perks of Ross' new role as a banker is that he gets free fancy carriage rides to wherever he'd like. Because this episode's theme is no longer ignoring your spouse, Ross invites Demelza to London for the first time. They're going to party like it's 1799! Get ready, Puke Cleaner-Upper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a less happy household, Malfoy wants the doctor who routinely tortures his patients with leeches to treat Elizabeth. Because blood-sucking worms don't go with her outfit, Liz comes clean about being pregnant. Oh, so she's not dying then? Hmm. Maybe next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/%E3%83%84_%C2%AF-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza wakes up naked in London. And it isn't long before she and Ross are role-playing on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, you can't have me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, yes I can! You're my prisoner! My present to be unwrapped at leisure.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their 50 Shades of Grey(-Powdered Wigs) playtime is interrupted by a knock at the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross yells that they'll be down in an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107133\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spray-golden-girls-hot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...or two.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107132\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/treat-yoself.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daaaamn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>If she hadn't married off Morwenna to a toe-gobbling rapist, Drakenna would be thriving and I would be busy counting my merch line money. I hope her baby is ugly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The London Hotel Maid. \u003c/strong>For having to clean up the floorboards after Ross and Demelza are done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles' Liver. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>Hang in there, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>Horace's Little Photo-Bombing Butt. \u003c/strong>The best in the biz!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>He's going to need something shiny to play with while he's in therapy for the rest of his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a candlestick, a spooked horse, a few trees and karma joined forces to murder Gross Goblin (*blasts Etta James' \"At Last\"*).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a single episode, the experience of watching this show went from this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107066\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/watching-poldark-happy-vicar-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will an inanimate object do us a solid and kill off another evil character this week? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woah, that was fast! Another evildoer has croaked! Way to go, Lumiere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107035\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lumiere-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, the deceased is just some random banker dude who embezzled other people's money. This brings us to this week's edition of Malfoy Has A New Evil Plan To Get Even With Ross For Being Hotter Than He Is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bank in question is where all of Ross' life savings are, so if Malfoy can bully the town into withdrawing all of their funds, the bank will go under, taking all the Poldark coins with it and jeopardizing the mine and all of its employees. Malfoy borrows a bon mot from Marie Antoinette and puts his own spin on it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107145\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-960x540.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a pacifist, but my fist naturally clenches every time I see Malfoy's face. It's just begging for a punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107040\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hermione-punch-malfoy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Malfoy's face, Elizabeth walks in while he's plotting and says, \"You have a particular expression when you're conspiring against Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It looks like a cross between this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107042\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/orig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"635\" height=\"476\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, someone tells Demelza about Not So Dearly Departed Embezzler's death. Her reaction is so brutal that it could kill the man all over again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107045\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ha-ha-laughing-captain-luc-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"293\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Demelza soon learns what this particular rando's death might mean for the family's financial future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107050\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sailor-moon-piggy-bank-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107049\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/help-me-im-poor.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ominous music plays while Drake floats face down in the ocean. He might be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But let's focus on the important thing first:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's shirtless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-drake-face-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, now that that requisite half-naked gif is out of the way, let's get back to the whole is-Drake-dead thing. Turns out he's alive and just being really dramatic. These days, we process a difficult breakup by posting something passive-aggressive on social media and/or crying while singing an Adele ballad at karaoke. I guess, back then, the only way to deal with heartbreak was pretending you've drowned to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Drake lives to see another day (which will likely involve someone trying to arrest him, murder him, dump him or all of the above). My career advice: Turn lemons into lemonade by producing a sensitive rap album all about his hardships and emo feelings, just like \u003ca href=\"https://static.vibe.com/files/2013/09/vibe-vixen-drake-nothing-was-the-same-album-cover-compressed.jpg\">his 21st-century namesake\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"820\" height=\"820\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg 820w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 820px) 100vw, 820px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an apology for making us think Drake was dead for 3 seconds, the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers whip up a serving of their signature special: a scene involving a wet half-naked man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107096 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-body-swimming-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107095 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam ignores the sinfulness of Drake's naked nipples and begs Drake to leave the barn ashes behind and move in with him. Drake refuses and shares this little heart-stabbing nugget: \"Morwenna is dead to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/shut-your-dirty-little-mouth-colbert-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"332\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake plans to enlist in the military or get into some other calamitous situation that'll keep Drakenna / Morwennake apart for another few episodes. Can y'all just hand over the happy ending we rightfully deserve? I'm tired!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107099 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/give-it-to-me-now-colbrrt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, has Drake forgotten what happens when you go to war in the 18th century? You end up with:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A scar on your face (not everyone can pull it off like Ross)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A case of PTSD (Doc no longer has the ability to appreciate when Blondie sneaks up on him and screams \"BOO!\" in his ear)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A blow to your eyesight that will make it especially hard to write horny poetry by candlelight for your friend's wife (I miss you, Prison Bestie, and can't wait to see you on \u003ca href=\"https://deadline.com/2018/10/game-of-thrones-prequel-josh-whitehouse-mr-burberry-poldark-valley-girl-1202493011/\">the Game of Thrones prequel\u003c/a>!).\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Point is: STAY HOME, DRAKE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the actors' real lives, how come none of you told me Mrs. Pigpen a.k.a. Prudie looks this cute IRL?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107103\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, that's Aidan Turner biting her face. Some people have all the luck.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, back to the show...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth suddenly gets winded and has to sit down for no apparent reason. Is she going to die?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My official response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*abruptly stops my evil celebratory laughter* Hold on a second. Elizabeth has a flashback of Ross advising her to get pregnant and lie about the dates so Malfoy will think premies are her thing and that Valentine is truly their kid. So I guess she's not dying and just hiding a pregnancy then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/disappointed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of disappointing developments, Morwenna has been experiencing palpitations and nausea. Please don't tell me she's carrying another mini Gross Goblin. I can't take much more of this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/no-i-cant-not-doing-that-toddlers-tiaras-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross attends yet another rave featuring the same old staples: pyrotechnics, cool IKEA lanterns and Geoffrey Charles' puking in a corner. Thankfully, we are spared a close-up of the chunks this time, but we do get to see him drool out the excess saliva that lets you know all those Goldfish crackers you ate earlier are about to swim back up very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107147\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/goldfish-crackers-mouth.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross convinces Geoffrey Charles to come back to Cornwall and sober up. Geoffrey Charles asks Ross, \"Why could you not have been my stepfather?\" Ross is too polite to say: \u003cem>Umm, because your mom got with my first cousin while I was trying to survive a war. Then got with my worst enemy. Oh, and she killed one of my kids with her germs. That's why! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is busy trying to single-handedly save the bank. A mob has gathered outside of its doors, wanting to withdraw all their money. Demelza convinces them to cool their jets by essentially filming a Suze Orman infomercial about how important it is to invest. The villagers and I are buying what she's selling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake dramatically walks up a hill and runs into... Rosina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we not? I thought the animated gifs I made last week made my position on force-feeding us this character abundantly clear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina tells Drake that, if she can handle everyone gossiping about how she was dumped on her wedding day, he can handle sticking around Cornwall and not moving away forever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine. Rosina is right. She still bugs me though. #TeamDrakenna/Morwennake4ever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good news! Demelza's Suze Orman impression saved the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107107 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"257\" height=\"196\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg 257w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-160x122.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-240x183.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 257px) 100vw, 257px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad news! Malfoy finds out and figures out another way to shut down the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-375x281.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rushes home to tell Elizabeth all about how he just robbed Ross of his life savings. Cut to Ross dropping Geoffrey Charles' drunk ass off at Malfoy's house and Elizabeth asking him to stay a while. Oooh, this is going to be good. Here's hoping whatever happens involves Ross putting Malfoy's head into a lit fireplace again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stop everything!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace has returned!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-pug-run-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Blondie is back too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc and Blondie share a sweet moment, but I can't stop laughing at Horace's lil photobombing butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"345\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-800x432.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-768x414.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1200x648.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1920x1036.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1180x637.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-960x518.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-520x281.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Liz's house, Elizabeth tells Ross she suspects Malfoy is scheming again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Against me? Never!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"It's his way. I've grown used to it. I'm content.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay, glad \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> content with Malfoy continuously trying to ruin lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/middle-finger-censored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/you-suck-abby-miller.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valentine runs in and Ross finally meets his secret love child for the first time. Ross shakes his little hand and says, \"Happy to make your acquaintance, sir.\" Maybe it's leftover Baby Sara feels, but I'm oddly touched!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As he's being led out of the room by his nanny, Valentine stops, turns and waves goodbye to Ross, who salutes. I feel a tear coming. You get back in that tear duct! This show has wrung out too many emotions out of me! I'm dehydrated!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But here it comes anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107117\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lauren-conrad-tear.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"862\" height=\"478\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as Ross' carriage pulls away, Malfoy rides up to the house. Elizabeth looks like she just passed several kidney stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107118\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"237\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, being the master of deception that she is, Elizabeth quickly recovers and leads Malfoy to believe that the carriage has just dropped off Geoffrey Charles. Guess I didn't need that popcorn after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107119\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn-reverse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Demelza is freaking out about her Suze Orman plan not working. Ross shows up to say he doesn't really care about all this bank business that much. Ok, great! Does this mean we get a new storyline I actually care about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not. Ross spends an entire day, going door to door, trying to convince rich dudes to save the bank. They all laugh in his face before diving into their pools full of gold coins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107120\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ducktales-pool-gold-coins.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home with his tail between his legs and asks Demelza for advice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What's your opinion?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Mine??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We're partners, are we not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107121\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-as-beyonce-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Way to show everyone that men can be feminists too, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next evening, Demelza decides to throw a \u003cem>Let's-get-tanked-instead-of-thinking-about-how-I-can't-pay-y'all!\u003c/em> kegger for the mine employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is in great spirits. Except for me. Because this keeps happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107141\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rosina-drake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Sam distracts Drake with some good advice: \u003cem>Hey, you're already looking at eternal damnation for kissing Morwenna last year. Might as well go to her house one last time and try to be with her\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107142\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/britney-thumbs-up-creepy-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, everyone attends the grand opening of a new hospital. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107122\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kim-yawn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Ross has a bit too much to drink and calls Malfoy out for being a sniveling little you-know-what. Malfoy calls him a storm in a teacup. And the award for cutest insult in a dick-measuring contest goes to....!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107124\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chip-beauty-and-the-beast-bubbles.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things escalate. Ross screams \"You lie!\" and yoinks Malfoy's frilly blouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-pulls-george-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put his head in the fireplace, Ross! Kill him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107125\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kill-him.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"468\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh. Before he gets the chance, Elizabeth passes out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could see this becoming a new dance craze. Do the bobblehead!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Drake follows Sam's advice and shows up at Morwenna's house. He lays it all on the line: \"I love ye still. And so I ask one final time, Will ye not take me? 'Tis no sin to love me. Can you not see that there be hope?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107140\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hope-poster-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"498\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes my Hope poster and promptly rips it to shreds. \"I did think so once, but now... Please go and never return. I'm with child.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107129 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/will-smith-scream-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/wendy-cant.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is complete and utter BS! Now I have to cancel my merchandise line. How am I going to get rich now??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107139 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107138\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-520x475.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107136\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Horace's house, Blondie tells Doc that Cornwall is boring as hell and invites him to come to London with her this time. Everyone should get the chance to watch Geoffrey Charles puke on a fancy rug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boring bank storyline comes to an end with Ross and his Bankrupt Banker Bestie becoming partners in a more prestigious bank. Nice try, Malfoy. So close, yet so far away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107148\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jump-in-pool.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the perks of Ross' new role as a banker is that he gets free fancy carriage rides to wherever he'd like. Because this episode's theme is no longer ignoring your spouse, Ross invites Demelza to London for the first time. They're going to party like it's 1799! Get ready, Puke Cleaner-Upper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a less happy household, Malfoy wants the doctor who routinely tortures his patients with leeches to treat Elizabeth. Because blood-sucking worms don't go with her outfit, Liz comes clean about being pregnant. Oh, so she's not dying then? Hmm. Maybe next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/%E3%83%84_%C2%AF-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza wakes up naked in London. And it isn't long before she and Ross are role-playing on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, you can't have me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, yes I can! You're my prisoner! My present to be unwrapped at leisure.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their 50 Shades of Grey(-Powdered Wigs) playtime is interrupted by a knock at the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross yells that they'll be down in an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107133\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spray-golden-girls-hot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...or two.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107132\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/treat-yoself.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daaaamn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>If she hadn't married off Morwenna to a toe-gobbling rapist, Drakenna would be thriving and I would be busy counting my merch line money. I hope her baby is ugly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The London Hotel Maid. \u003c/strong>For having to clean up the floorboards after Ross and Demelza are done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles' Liver. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>Hang in there, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>Horace's Little Photo-Bombing Butt. \u003c/strong>The best in the biz!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>He's going to need something shiny to play with while he's in therapy for the rest of his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the show obliterated our emotions by killing off Baby Sara. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You'd think the writers would dial it down a few notches this week to let us catch our breath, dry our tears and experience a bit of joy again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope! Not gonna happen! Take a seat, happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/smiley-face-fall-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children and their parents are dropping dead from hunger and fever, Ross' fellow politicians don't want to do anything about it, and Malfoy's stupid punchable face is back in the House of Commons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/boy-am-i-depressed-i-need-a-cookie-golden-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, thank goddess! Blondie is on the scene to distract us from all the bleakness with a shiny fashion moment! Would you look at that hat?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"431\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-768x414.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-240x129.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-375x202.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-520x280.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie wears it well, but let's give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg 236w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hope you enjoyed that very brief comedic detour because it's time to travel back to Bleakville. Doc asks Morwenna why she threatened to murder her kid that one time. She explains that the empty threat is the only ammo she has against Gross Goblin's \"attentions.\" #FreeMorwennasToes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Drake's bachelor pad (okay, fine, the barn he lives in), Demelza is still on her mission to turn Drake and Rosina into an item worthy of a portmanteau couple name. Drosina? Rake?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See? They don't belong together! Team Drakenna / Morwennake 4 Life! As the president of their official fan club, I vow to make a line of merchandise if they ever find a way to murder Gross Goblin and be together. You would buy a tea set with their faces on it, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake confesses that he thinks Rosina's habit of constantly following him around and waving is cute and all, but it's not love. Demelza tries to reassure him that you don't need to love the person you're going to spend all of eternity with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, don't worry about actually loving the person you marry! Ross didn't love me at first; he only married me to make his ex jealous! And look at us now! Not living in the same house and barely recovering after two love affairs and a secret love child! Don't you want a piece of that?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is too nice to actually say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/no-thank-you-please-liz-lemon-tina-fey-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence is still wiggling her toes in Gross Goblin's face for money. Is anyone else beyond tired of this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/britney-yawn-bored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like a parent forcing a child to eat broccoli, it's time for the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers to force me to swallow even more of this Rosina storyline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/eat-it.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake approaches Rosina and says, \"Ye must know that I have a liking for thee.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>PLEASE SAY \"BUT...\"! Here's how to say it in American Sign Language. I don't care how you get the message across; just shut this down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-small wp-image-106848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/but-asl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"720\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! He tells her about how he'll always love Morwenna. That's right, Rosina! Go wave at someone else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, gosh, he's still talking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/stop-talking-emily-blunt-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"361\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I like ye, take pleasure in your company, I can offer you a \u003cdel>barn\u003c/del> home, a hearth, a quiet, yet comfortable living.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/dont-say-it-dont-think-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"359\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then tells her she can take some time to think his proposal over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106871\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/make-it-stop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina replies, \"No, Drake.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, brother, I celebrated too soon. She's not done!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I need no time. You're a brave and honest man, and I believe our life together will be good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-slam-head-on-desk-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"547\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spock-star-trek-sad-watching-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/upset-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't believe I gifted her a congratulatory Meryl Streep gif! I'm taking it back! I'm reversing it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/reverse-meryl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in London, Blondie pretends she isn't as depressed as I am over Baby Sara by throwing a rager. Everyone is there, even Malfoy and Elizabeth. Why didn't the fiery hail I wished on them last week ever come?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sending Liz down to hell also turned out to be ineffective!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a minute. Could it be possible that the weird memes I make have no real power or influence over what happens on this show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/winona-math-emmys-weird-faces-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"374\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, enough about Malfoy and Elizabeth and more about Blondie's new piece of headwear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106843\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"786\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-160x314.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-768x1509.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-611x1200.png 611w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-240x472.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-375x737.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-520x1022.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, it's important to give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-900x1200.jpg 900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-960x1280.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-240x320.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-375x500.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-520x693.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat.jpg 1125w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Demelza and Doc are starting to resent their spouses for abandoning them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Do you picture them ever, Ross and Blondie together in a world of which we have no part?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Do you not sometimes wonder...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"...if they met each other before they met us...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...they'd be better matched?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Would we?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooooo, this is an episode of \u003cem>Wife Swap\u003c/em> I would watch! When the cats are away, the mice will play (with each other's naked bodies on a sand dune)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, before I have a chance to fully picture it, Sam bursts in with news: Rosina said yes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, Sam! Must you remind me?! Can I not have a single moment of joy in imagining Doc and Demelza swapping spit and horny poetry?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's party, Elizabeth ignores Ross for no reason, which backfires spectacularly when Sir Scam-A-Lot points out to Malfoy that Liz wasn't so cold to Ross the other night outside her house. Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106850\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oops-teehee.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"449\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy boils up inside and updates one of his mental lists:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Reasons Why I've Dedicated My Life to Destroying Ross Poldark: \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He put a frog in my pants that one time.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>If Herbal Essences existed and wanted to cast someone with gorgeous hair for a shampoo commercial, they would pick Ross over me.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Everyone gets binoculars out when Ross swims or scythes half-naked. Everyone runs in fear when I simply undo my top button.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Lil Ross is probably bigger than Lil Malfoy.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He spoke to Elizabeth without my permission.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Across the room, an entirely unbothered Ross gives Blondie a hard time for being a party animal and having a bunch of new, fake friends. Let the woman live, Ross! Carpe diem! Furantur vestimenta ex fragum parvulus laganum! (Yep, I cobbled together a very rough Latin translation of \"Steal clothes from Strawberry Shortcake.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106851\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tyra-typing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"358\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, at yet another Blondie rager, Geoffrey Charles is about to get his drunk butt kicked by some rich dudes. Ever the savior, Ross steps in... and promptly gets sucker-punched in the nose! Not his face! There goes his future modeling career!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Geoffrey Charles hasn't made enough of a mess of this party, he goes and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106853\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/geoffrey-charles-poldark-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A person whose job is to clean up rich people puke appears. Never one to miss the opportunity to talk to a poor person, Ross engages Puke Cleaner-Upper in conversation and finds out this gig was the only way he could make ends meet. PCU's eagerness to scrub vomit out of a fancy carpet renews Ross' drive to pass a bill or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Gross Goblin puts on a repulsive striptease for a terrified Morwenna. He announces: \"Let us say a little prayer and then you will submit to me.\" I hope that Puke Cleaner-Upper is still around 'cause I think I'm gonna...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106894\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How about we say a little prayer that Gross Goblin chokes on a foot and dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The candles in Morwenna's bedroom go out, which I assume means she's getting raped again. This show is... a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence smiles to herself while she polishes and admires a new candlestick she bought with her toe jam money. Hope it was worth eternal damnation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106874\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/welcome-to-hell-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Jennifer Lawrence's husband returns home earlier than expected, peeks through a window and gets an eyeful of all the kinky foot stuff his trifling wife and Gross Goblin have been up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oh-my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106855\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/bleach-eyes-simpsons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pass the eye bleach 'cause I need it to sear the image of all these baby and kid-sized caskets in the next scene. Geez, we get it, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers! The 19th-century was bleak! Message received! Like Ariana Grande, I've got no tears left to cry!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, good! Something nice to look at! Another fancy hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106858\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png 678w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-160x191.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-240x287.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-375x448.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-520x621.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Snatched right from Strawberry Shortcake's closet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106876\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"643\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg 873w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-800x1028.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-768x987.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-240x308.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-375x482.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-520x668.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gives Blondie a TED Talk about confronting the pain of losing a kid. \"We are taught to be strong, to portray no weakness, but the night [Julia died] I learned to be strong\u003cem> is\u003c/em> weakness. Pain should not be avoided. Tears must fall.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Didn't I just say that Blondie, Ariana Grande and I don't have any tears left to cry? Stop traumatizing us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great! More trauma in the form of Gross Goblin rolling off of a Morwenna. And to make matters worse, Morwenna's one true love is about to get married to Rosina!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106859\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza helps Drake set up his bed for the wedding sex that'll take place there the following day. She again tries to brainwash him into believing that marrying someone you don't like that much is a good idea: \"In time, like Ross and me, love will grow.\" Mmhm, riiiight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106860\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/keep-telling-yourself-that-romy-michele-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that Gross Goblin is raping Morwenna again, he decides to cut off his quid-pro-toe-suck arrangement with Jennifer Lawrence. On his way home from her house, a masked man confronts him in the woods. It's Mr. Jennifer Lawrence! And he has a weapon! Lumiere, the fancy candlestick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106861\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/lumiere-gif-beauty-beast.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Jennifer Lawrence uses Lumiere to beat Gross Goblin off his horse! Gross Goblin's foot gets caught in one of the stirrups and the horse, whom we'll call Phillipe to stick with the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> theme, runs off and drags Gross Goblin through the woods and bangs his skull against a bunch of trees!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106878\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kristen-bell-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106879\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/waiting-for-this-moment.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a beautiful sight. A foot-gobbling monster gets taken down by his own foot. Poetic justice is alive and well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106877\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/so-used-to-giving-get-to-receive-cry-gif-big-brothere.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Gross Goblin is discovered DEAD!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/celebrating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tell Blondie and her friends to make some room at their party 'cause we're celebrating tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/pour-drinks-drunk-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106880\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/troll-dance-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"372\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, this means that Morwenna is single again, just in time to speak or forever hold her peace at Drake's wedding!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Drake putting flowers on what he thinks will be Rosina's pillow!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/NOT-ON-MY-WATCH-iyanla-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake, check Twitter! Your ex's dead husband is trending!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who needs Twitter when Demelza is here to spread the news (bless her!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake isn't as stoked as I'd thought he'd be, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why tell me, sister? Why not keep me in the dark and let me wed that sweet, sweet girl?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106884\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sorry-not-sorry-jennifer-lawrence.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would feel bad for Rosina if I wasn't so busy mass-producing Drakenna / Morwennake merchandise. Why stop at tea sets?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a good, compassionate person, Drake finds Rosina skipping around with her bridesmaids and breaks up with her in person, instead of ditching her at the altar. I imagine he tells her he can't marry her like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-wish-i-could-but-i-dont-want-to-gif-phoebe-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is horrified by the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone except for me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc has a hallucination of Blondie holding Baby Sara.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106887\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-gonna-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza disrupts his vision with the news that Drake has run away. She breaks down in Doc's embrace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I just wish somebody would take care of me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, Ross should be here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And Caroline.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But they're not, so maybe kiss? (Sorry, I live for the drama.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106888\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/shrug.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross tries to convince Blondie to return to Cornwall with him. She's not wearing a hat this time, which I assume means that she received a cease and desist letter from Strawberry Shortcake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie explains to Ross that she couldn't weep for Baby Sara and that the experience of having her dead baby taken from her arms could only be numbed by getting hammered every night in London. She's gonna stay and do some more of that but wants Ross to know that his TED Talk helped and she has begun to weep again. Me too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/1361.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Gross Goblin's funeral (wow, I really enjoyed typing that!), Gross Goblin's Mama loudly announces that Morwenna is a bad mom and that she plans to adopt her child. Morwenna faints on the spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After she's resuscitated, Elizabeth and Malfoy walk over and pretend to be empathetic, but, after years of torture, Morwenna is not in the mood for fake @ssholes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"You must feel the loss keenly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I feel nothing but relief. I loathed him with every bone in my body. He sought to have me committed. He took away my son. He violated me...again...and again...and again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to be shocked: \"I did not know! We could not have possibly known, cousin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Our only thought was to provide you with an advantageous...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"ADVANTAGEOUS TO WHOM?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yaaaas, queen, tell them!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106889\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/speak-on-it-sis-preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence and her husband agree to keep Lumiere a secret. Mr. Lawrence also agrees to pretend he doesn't now know how evil his wife really is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza and company are all worried about where Drake is, but his whereabouts are obvious! He's where everyone goes when they're being drama queens: the crashing waves! Before you get too excited, he's fully clothed, so no gifs for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Drake wakes up outside of Morwenna's house. As luck would have it, she comes outside! He approaches her, but she can't even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I cannot bear it! I'm sick! Tainted! It's done with! Ended! Please leave me now and never come back.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-drake-out-of-car-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if this wasn't upsetting enough, Gross Goblin's Mama interrupts the reunion and orders her servants to horsewhip Drake and remove him from the premises! *adds Gross Goblin's Mama to my hit list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great. Malfoy is running around, spreading a rumor that Drake killed Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106890\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-today-satan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the kid ever catch a break?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Elizabeth catches wind of Malfoy's new evil plan, she doesn't go along with it for once: \"The man was a monster and we forced her to wed him. If you value my love, do not pursue Drake.\" Plus one point for her, which means she's now only at negative 92,371 points in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy calls off the search, but has an evil Plan B. Recruit Rosina's upset dad and burn Drake's barn to the ground. If all of this insanity is going on in episode 5, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, in front of the barn's ashes, Rosina tells Demelza she wishes Drake found out the truth right after they were married so he would be trapped in his vows to her forever. \"I know he would have never left me.\" Wow. Rosina sucks as much as I thought she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/youre-that-girl-i-knew-you-were-gif-alyssa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't deserve Drake's love or a cool couple name!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, which is the second most popular place to be dramatic in Cornwall, Morwenna throws Drake's friendship (with very minor benefits) bracelet into the ocean. Are we really going to have to wait until the season finale to break out the Morwennake merch?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106892\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/were-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross finally passes a bill to help poor people. That's great news! But the even better news is that his nose is healing quite nicely. Teen modeling career is back on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose-better-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"262\" height=\"153\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin. \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19742\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Mine. \u003c/strong>For not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Puke Cleaner-Upper. \u003c/strong>Hopefully, the passage of the welfare bill means he won't have to spend his nights scooping up trust fund kids' half-digested corn.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>These two deserve a medal for all they've been through. They also deserve some of the profits from my soon-to-be very successful merchandise line. *gives self manicure with the official Morwennake nail clipper*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lumiere\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Great work! Be our guest for however many episodes it takes to kill off all these evil jerks.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "So much insanity goes down in this episode, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!",
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"description": "So much insanity goes down in this episode, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"datePublished": "2018-10-28T18:46:23-07:00",
"dateModified": "2018-10-28T18:48:33-07:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the show obliterated our emotions by killing off Baby Sara. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You'd think the writers would dial it down a few notches this week to let us catch our breath, dry our tears and experience a bit of joy again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope! Not gonna happen! Take a seat, happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/smiley-face-fall-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children and their parents are dropping dead from hunger and fever, Ross' fellow politicians don't want to do anything about it, and Malfoy's stupid punchable face is back in the House of Commons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/boy-am-i-depressed-i-need-a-cookie-golden-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, thank goddess! Blondie is on the scene to distract us from all the bleakness with a shiny fashion moment! Would you look at that hat?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"431\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-768x414.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-240x129.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-375x202.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-520x280.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie wears it well, but let's give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg 236w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hope you enjoyed that very brief comedic detour because it's time to travel back to Bleakville. Doc asks Morwenna why she threatened to murder her kid that one time. She explains that the empty threat is the only ammo she has against Gross Goblin's \"attentions.\" #FreeMorwennasToes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Drake's bachelor pad (okay, fine, the barn he lives in), Demelza is still on her mission to turn Drake and Rosina into an item worthy of a portmanteau couple name. Drosina? Rake?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See? They don't belong together! Team Drakenna / Morwennake 4 Life! As the president of their official fan club, I vow to make a line of merchandise if they ever find a way to murder Gross Goblin and be together. You would buy a tea set with their faces on it, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake confesses that he thinks Rosina's habit of constantly following him around and waving is cute and all, but it's not love. Demelza tries to reassure him that you don't need to love the person you're going to spend all of eternity with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, don't worry about actually loving the person you marry! Ross didn't love me at first; he only married me to make his ex jealous! And look at us now! Not living in the same house and barely recovering after two love affairs and a secret love child! Don't you want a piece of that?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is too nice to actually say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/no-thank-you-please-liz-lemon-tina-fey-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence is still wiggling her toes in Gross Goblin's face for money. Is anyone else beyond tired of this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/britney-yawn-bored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like a parent forcing a child to eat broccoli, it's time for the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers to force me to swallow even more of this Rosina storyline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/eat-it.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake approaches Rosina and says, \"Ye must know that I have a liking for thee.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>PLEASE SAY \"BUT...\"! Here's how to say it in American Sign Language. I don't care how you get the message across; just shut this down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-small wp-image-106848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/but-asl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"720\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! He tells her about how he'll always love Morwenna. That's right, Rosina! Go wave at someone else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, gosh, he's still talking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/stop-talking-emily-blunt-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"361\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I like ye, take pleasure in your company, I can offer you a \u003cdel>barn\u003c/del> home, a hearth, a quiet, yet comfortable living.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/dont-say-it-dont-think-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"359\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then tells her she can take some time to think his proposal over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106871\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/make-it-stop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina replies, \"No, Drake.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, brother, I celebrated too soon. She's not done!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I need no time. You're a brave and honest man, and I believe our life together will be good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-slam-head-on-desk-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"547\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spock-star-trek-sad-watching-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/upset-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't believe I gifted her a congratulatory Meryl Streep gif! I'm taking it back! I'm reversing it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/reverse-meryl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in London, Blondie pretends she isn't as depressed as I am over Baby Sara by throwing a rager. Everyone is there, even Malfoy and Elizabeth. Why didn't the fiery hail I wished on them last week ever come?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sending Liz down to hell also turned out to be ineffective!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a minute. Could it be possible that the weird memes I make have no real power or influence over what happens on this show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/winona-math-emmys-weird-faces-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"374\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, enough about Malfoy and Elizabeth and more about Blondie's new piece of headwear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106843\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"786\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-160x314.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-768x1509.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-611x1200.png 611w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-240x472.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-375x737.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-520x1022.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, it's important to give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-900x1200.jpg 900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-960x1280.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-240x320.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-375x500.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-520x693.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat.jpg 1125w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Demelza and Doc are starting to resent their spouses for abandoning them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Do you picture them ever, Ross and Blondie together in a world of which we have no part?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Do you not sometimes wonder...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"...if they met each other before they met us...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...they'd be better matched?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Would we?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooooo, this is an episode of \u003cem>Wife Swap\u003c/em> I would watch! When the cats are away, the mice will play (with each other's naked bodies on a sand dune)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, before I have a chance to fully picture it, Sam bursts in with news: Rosina said yes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, Sam! Must you remind me?! Can I not have a single moment of joy in imagining Doc and Demelza swapping spit and horny poetry?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's party, Elizabeth ignores Ross for no reason, which backfires spectacularly when Sir Scam-A-Lot points out to Malfoy that Liz wasn't so cold to Ross the other night outside her house. Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106850\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oops-teehee.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"449\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy boils up inside and updates one of his mental lists:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Reasons Why I've Dedicated My Life to Destroying Ross Poldark: \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He put a frog in my pants that one time.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>If Herbal Essences existed and wanted to cast someone with gorgeous hair for a shampoo commercial, they would pick Ross over me.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Everyone gets binoculars out when Ross swims or scythes half-naked. Everyone runs in fear when I simply undo my top button.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Lil Ross is probably bigger than Lil Malfoy.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He spoke to Elizabeth without my permission.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Across the room, an entirely unbothered Ross gives Blondie a hard time for being a party animal and having a bunch of new, fake friends. Let the woman live, Ross! Carpe diem! Furantur vestimenta ex fragum parvulus laganum! (Yep, I cobbled together a very rough Latin translation of \"Steal clothes from Strawberry Shortcake.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106851\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tyra-typing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"358\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, at yet another Blondie rager, Geoffrey Charles is about to get his drunk butt kicked by some rich dudes. Ever the savior, Ross steps in... and promptly gets sucker-punched in the nose! Not his face! There goes his future modeling career!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Geoffrey Charles hasn't made enough of a mess of this party, he goes and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106853\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/geoffrey-charles-poldark-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A person whose job is to clean up rich people puke appears. Never one to miss the opportunity to talk to a poor person, Ross engages Puke Cleaner-Upper in conversation and finds out this gig was the only way he could make ends meet. PCU's eagerness to scrub vomit out of a fancy carpet renews Ross' drive to pass a bill or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Gross Goblin puts on a repulsive striptease for a terrified Morwenna. He announces: \"Let us say a little prayer and then you will submit to me.\" I hope that Puke Cleaner-Upper is still around 'cause I think I'm gonna...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106894\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How about we say a little prayer that Gross Goblin chokes on a foot and dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The candles in Morwenna's bedroom go out, which I assume means she's getting raped again. This show is... a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence smiles to herself while she polishes and admires a new candlestick she bought with her toe jam money. Hope it was worth eternal damnation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106874\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/welcome-to-hell-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Jennifer Lawrence's husband returns home earlier than expected, peeks through a window and gets an eyeful of all the kinky foot stuff his trifling wife and Gross Goblin have been up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oh-my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106855\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/bleach-eyes-simpsons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pass the eye bleach 'cause I need it to sear the image of all these baby and kid-sized caskets in the next scene. Geez, we get it, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers! The 19th-century was bleak! Message received! Like Ariana Grande, I've got no tears left to cry!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, good! Something nice to look at! Another fancy hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106858\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png 678w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-160x191.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-240x287.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-375x448.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-520x621.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Snatched right from Strawberry Shortcake's closet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106876\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"643\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg 873w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-800x1028.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-768x987.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-240x308.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-375x482.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-520x668.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gives Blondie a TED Talk about confronting the pain of losing a kid. \"We are taught to be strong, to portray no weakness, but the night [Julia died] I learned to be strong\u003cem> is\u003c/em> weakness. Pain should not be avoided. Tears must fall.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Didn't I just say that Blondie, Ariana Grande and I don't have any tears left to cry? Stop traumatizing us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great! More trauma in the form of Gross Goblin rolling off of a Morwenna. And to make matters worse, Morwenna's one true love is about to get married to Rosina!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106859\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza helps Drake set up his bed for the wedding sex that'll take place there the following day. She again tries to brainwash him into believing that marrying someone you don't like that much is a good idea: \"In time, like Ross and me, love will grow.\" Mmhm, riiiight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106860\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/keep-telling-yourself-that-romy-michele-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that Gross Goblin is raping Morwenna again, he decides to cut off his quid-pro-toe-suck arrangement with Jennifer Lawrence. On his way home from her house, a masked man confronts him in the woods. It's Mr. Jennifer Lawrence! And he has a weapon! Lumiere, the fancy candlestick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106861\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/lumiere-gif-beauty-beast.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Jennifer Lawrence uses Lumiere to beat Gross Goblin off his horse! Gross Goblin's foot gets caught in one of the stirrups and the horse, whom we'll call Phillipe to stick with the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> theme, runs off and drags Gross Goblin through the woods and bangs his skull against a bunch of trees!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106878\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kristen-bell-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106879\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/waiting-for-this-moment.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a beautiful sight. A foot-gobbling monster gets taken down by his own foot. Poetic justice is alive and well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106877\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/so-used-to-giving-get-to-receive-cry-gif-big-brothere.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Gross Goblin is discovered DEAD!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/celebrating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tell Blondie and her friends to make some room at their party 'cause we're celebrating tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/pour-drinks-drunk-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106880\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/troll-dance-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"372\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, this means that Morwenna is single again, just in time to speak or forever hold her peace at Drake's wedding!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Drake putting flowers on what he thinks will be Rosina's pillow!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/NOT-ON-MY-WATCH-iyanla-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake, check Twitter! Your ex's dead husband is trending!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who needs Twitter when Demelza is here to spread the news (bless her!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake isn't as stoked as I'd thought he'd be, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why tell me, sister? Why not keep me in the dark and let me wed that sweet, sweet girl?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106884\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sorry-not-sorry-jennifer-lawrence.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would feel bad for Rosina if I wasn't so busy mass-producing Drakenna / Morwennake merchandise. Why stop at tea sets?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a good, compassionate person, Drake finds Rosina skipping around with her bridesmaids and breaks up with her in person, instead of ditching her at the altar. I imagine he tells her he can't marry her like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-wish-i-could-but-i-dont-want-to-gif-phoebe-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is horrified by the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone except for me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc has a hallucination of Blondie holding Baby Sara.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106887\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-gonna-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza disrupts his vision with the news that Drake has run away. She breaks down in Doc's embrace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I just wish somebody would take care of me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, Ross should be here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And Caroline.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But they're not, so maybe kiss? (Sorry, I live for the drama.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106888\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/shrug.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross tries to convince Blondie to return to Cornwall with him. She's not wearing a hat this time, which I assume means that she received a cease and desist letter from Strawberry Shortcake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie explains to Ross that she couldn't weep for Baby Sara and that the experience of having her dead baby taken from her arms could only be numbed by getting hammered every night in London. She's gonna stay and do some more of that but wants Ross to know that his TED Talk helped and she has begun to weep again. Me too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/1361.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Gross Goblin's funeral (wow, I really enjoyed typing that!), Gross Goblin's Mama loudly announces that Morwenna is a bad mom and that she plans to adopt her child. Morwenna faints on the spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After she's resuscitated, Elizabeth and Malfoy walk over and pretend to be empathetic, but, after years of torture, Morwenna is not in the mood for fake @ssholes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"You must feel the loss keenly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I feel nothing but relief. I loathed him with every bone in my body. He sought to have me committed. He took away my son. He violated me...again...and again...and again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to be shocked: \"I did not know! We could not have possibly known, cousin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Our only thought was to provide you with an advantageous...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"ADVANTAGEOUS TO WHOM?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yaaaas, queen, tell them!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106889\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/speak-on-it-sis-preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence and her husband agree to keep Lumiere a secret. Mr. Lawrence also agrees to pretend he doesn't now know how evil his wife really is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza and company are all worried about where Drake is, but his whereabouts are obvious! He's where everyone goes when they're being drama queens: the crashing waves! Before you get too excited, he's fully clothed, so no gifs for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Drake wakes up outside of Morwenna's house. As luck would have it, she comes outside! He approaches her, but she can't even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I cannot bear it! I'm sick! Tainted! It's done with! Ended! Please leave me now and never come back.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-drake-out-of-car-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if this wasn't upsetting enough, Gross Goblin's Mama interrupts the reunion and orders her servants to horsewhip Drake and remove him from the premises! *adds Gross Goblin's Mama to my hit list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great. Malfoy is running around, spreading a rumor that Drake killed Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106890\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-today-satan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the kid ever catch a break?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Elizabeth catches wind of Malfoy's new evil plan, she doesn't go along with it for once: \"The man was a monster and we forced her to wed him. If you value my love, do not pursue Drake.\" Plus one point for her, which means she's now only at negative 92,371 points in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy calls off the search, but has an evil Plan B. Recruit Rosina's upset dad and burn Drake's barn to the ground. If all of this insanity is going on in episode 5, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, in front of the barn's ashes, Rosina tells Demelza she wishes Drake found out the truth right after they were married so he would be trapped in his vows to her forever. \"I know he would have never left me.\" Wow. Rosina sucks as much as I thought she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/youre-that-girl-i-knew-you-were-gif-alyssa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't deserve Drake's love or a cool couple name!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, which is the second most popular place to be dramatic in Cornwall, Morwenna throws Drake's friendship (with very minor benefits) bracelet into the ocean. Are we really going to have to wait until the season finale to break out the Morwennake merch?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106892\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/were-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross finally passes a bill to help poor people. That's great news! But the even better news is that his nose is healing quite nicely. Teen modeling career is back on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose-better-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"262\" height=\"153\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin. \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19742\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Mine. \u003c/strong>For not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Puke Cleaner-Upper. \u003c/strong>Hopefully, the passage of the welfare bill means he won't have to spend his nights scooping up trust fund kids' half-digested corn.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>These two deserve a medal for all they've been through. They also deserve some of the profits from my soon-to-be very successful merchandise line. *gives self manicure with the official Morwennake nail clipper*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lumiere\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Great work! Be our guest for however many episodes it takes to kill off all these evil jerks.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza tried to make \u003cdel>fetch\u003c/del> Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show\u003cem> Kids Are The Absolute Worst\u003c/em>, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie for Drake's final rose in a very special 18th-century version of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>? Will plugging our ears and saying \"LA LA LA\" really loudly stop whatever terrible thing is about to happen to Blondie's baby? Will the Poldarks need to decipher Swedish pictograph instructions to build a replacement kitchen table for the one they desecrated with all their boinking? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We... okay, I... asked for more smack-talking about children. And less than 10 seconds into this episode, Blondie is supplying in spades! Looking down on Baby Sara's cherubic face, she asks, \"Is this creature not provoking, boring me to tears with her endless smiles? I live for the day the little beast runs away. I tell her I shan't miss her at all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This would be a real knee-slapper if Baby Sara wasn't slowly dying and all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/princess-diaries-anne-hathaway-fan-face-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Understandably, Doc does not find the joke funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/way-harsh-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"475\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But since whatever's wrong with Baby Sara is still a secret, all he can do is quietly choke back a sob and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/brb-gtg-sob.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is busy doing what he does best: throwing a deranged Veruca Salt-sized tantrum. This time, it's about being voted out of Parliament. It's really hard to be an uber-rich white man, you guys!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Waaaahhhhhhh. It's 'cause my grandfather was a blacksmith, isn't it?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, no, I'm pretty sure people just despise everything else about you. Oh, and because I live to stir the pot and make everything worse, here's a fun fact: A little birdie told me that Demelza got your donor drunk and convinced him to rethink supporting evil jerks like you. Another reason to plot against my ex! Yay! I have no life and am dead inside!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's name immediately makes Malfoy's eyelid twitch. He yells that she's an \"impudent kitchen troll.\" As someone who enjoyed a modest collection of Troll dolls in the '90s, I consider that a compliment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"334\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg 334w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-240x359.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who needs mining when you're born with a precious jewel inside your belly button?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Doc holds Baby Sara and looks like he just watched Bambi's mom get shot \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the end of \u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em> back to back. Judging by Baby Sara's facial expression, she is harshly judging the writers for bringing her into this world, only to potentially kill her off as unceremoniously as a \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/WTF-i-just-got-here-poldark-baby-sarah-doctor-ennis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc whispers, \"Stay a little while longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. I'll be right back. Some dust got in my eye. *goes into the next room and cries into a pillow so my neighbors won't hear*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/im-emotional-right-now-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Poldark, out of nowhere, Demelza asks Ross if he thinks they will ever truly mend their relationship. Good god, I am getting tired of these constant intense couples therapy sessions! He cheated. She cheated. Horny poetry was exchanged. It's over. Let's move on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/enough-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, wow, it's like Ross and Demelza heard me 'cause they decide to stop talking about feelings and just have some more sex. That's more like it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/proud-of-you-thumbs-up-compute-kid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross quickly learns that being a politician isn't exactly the Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor dream he had in mind. His donor is already trying to control his vote on certain matters. Welcome to the swamp, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swamp-monkey-walk-cute-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the mine, Ross runs into Doc and asks why he always looks like this lately:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/baby-cry-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"352\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc confesses that Baby Sara has a congenital heart defect (NO!) and will for sure die (STOP!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106665\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/charlotte-sex-and-the-city-poldark-horace-baby-sarah-death.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Umm, awkward confession time: This might kind of be my fault. Remember when I was really against Blondie betraying her only child, Horace the Pug, by having a human child? Maybe all that advocating led to this? *Steve Urkel voice* \u003cem>Did I do thaaat?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/my-bad-clueless-cher-driving-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Morwenna's house, things just keep getting bleaker. Not only has Gross Goblin's mom practically moved in, but Elizabeth also pays a visit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106645\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-out-buffy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tells Morwenna that she thinks the way Mama Goblin terrorizes the nanny is strange. You know what's strange, Liz? The fact that you married off this poor girl to a toe-snacking rapist and have the audacity to pop on over for tea like it ain't no thing. Hell, party of one. We'll seat you now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For what feels like the 8,432nd episode in a row, Jennifer Lawrence puts her feet in Gross Goblin's mouth for money. Yawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to being terrible at...well, basic humanity, Gross Goblin is also terrible at not being caught sucking on someone else's wife's toes. While leaving Jennifer Lawrence's crack den, he is spotted not just by Elizabeth, but by Jennifer Lawrence's husband too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/congarts-you-suck-obama.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Geoffrey Charles pays a visit to Drake and yammers on about Morwenna. Drake shrugs and says, \"Life must go on,\" followed by a shot of Rosina waving. Once again, dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106483\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is roaming the space around Drake and waving all this girl does? Get a hobby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza forces Drake to walk Rosina home again, but this time, Sam doesn't go along to act as a human prophylactic. Rosina says people might get the wrong idea and think they're dating. Drake smiles and says he's okay with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106647\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-this-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"284\" height=\"196\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/very-upset-about-this-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin hatches a new plan to get even with Morwenna for denying him access to her feet; he plans to have her institutionalized. Can evil take a single afternoon off? I am exhausted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evil just got back to me about taking the afternoon off. It's a hard no. Baby Sara has developed a cough. So far, she's beating back the Grim Reaper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/carrie-sex-and-the-city-flower-gif-movie-mr-big.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Keep up the good fight, little one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin tries to get Doc to say that Morwenna is bonkers enough to lock away forever. Really not in the mood for this kind of nonsense today, Doc eviscerates Gross Goblin: \"I cannot help you, sir, nor do I wish to. It is my humble opinion that if a husband cannot win his wife by loving, kindness and sympathy, then he deserves to go without her. I bid you a good day!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you're not fluent in overly-polite British, here's a translation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/middle-finger-surprise-cross-bow-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I usually skip all the mining plotlines because zzzzzzzzzzz, but something important is actually happening down there for once. Ross plans to save the mine from bankruptcy by digging into new territory he thinks holds valuable minerals or whatever. Instead, he and Sam strike... a bunch of water! The mine starts to flood and everyone is in danger of drowning to death! Good going, guys! The homicidal puddle that murdered Francis is back for more!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenger for Gross Goblin's Bad At Everything title emerges in the form of some dude named Bobby. While trying to escape from the mine, he slips from the ladder, belly flops into deep water and then sinks to the bottom just in time for a random cart of rocks to fall on his leg. Oy vey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-your-shit-together-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross eventually frees him, and Doc manages to bring him back to life via mouth-to-mouth. That's great for Bobby and all, but will Doc be able to save Baby Sara?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106652\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/praying-crying-how-to-get-away-with-murder-gif-viola-davis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, Blondie finally knows about Baby Sara's condition and the prognosis gets even worse: Baby Sara will be dead in a matter of hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is all out of jokes. \"I never wanted this wretched creature, but over the months, she has wormed her way into my affections, supplanting even poor Horace.\" (Considering the situation, I'll allow the demotion.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asked whether Blondie wants Demelza to come over for support, she says, \"No, I am a hard woman and can fend for myself. I believe Demelza would cry, and that I fear would undo us all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza or no Demelza, I am undone. Baby Sara passes away that night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I held most of the tears back until I saw that little black casket. Then the floodgates really opened.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>R.I.P. Horace's lil sis! I'm sorry I hated on the idea of you. Please say hi to Agatha and Prison Bestie and Jago and Julia for me. No need to say anything to Francis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the funeral, Ross interrupts Demelza's weeping with yet another helping of jealousy over Prison Bestie. Is he serious?! At a time like this?!? As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, he then yells in Demelza's face about how he doesn't like his new job. \u003cem>Boo hoo, being one of the most powerful men in the country isn't as fun as I thought it would be! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone grieves in their own way, but this is one of the dumbest. Get over yourself, dude! Baby Sara is dead and your grumpiness over work and your insecurity over a one-off sand-dune-boogie is all you can think about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just in case we needed another reminder of evil never resting, Malfoy and Elizabeth share idiotic grins over how they managed to buy their way back into Parliament. This would be a good time for a Biblical plague to hit their house. Let's not do frogs again. Death of the firstborn just happened, so let's skip that too. Locusts, biting insects, livestock disease, darkness and a river turning into blood won't do either. So fiery hail it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's for...well, everything, but especially for not letting Agatha lie about her age and have a fun, boozy birthday party!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Blondie decides to leave Doc and move to London so she can learn to forget the loss of Baby Sara. Uh oh, there go the floodgates again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My face had just dried! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At last, we get a reward for surviving all of this emotional devastation. Ding dong, it's HORACE O'CLOCK! And not a moment too soon! A much-needed rainbow after this sh*t-storm of an episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106659\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-pug-poldark-carriage-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Find someone who looks at you the way Doc looks at Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/smile-horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I do realize he's actually looking at Blondie. Let me have my fun during this emotional time!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While leaving Cornwall maybe forever, Blondie tells Doc, \"Do your best not to miss Horace.\" Ok, Blondie, we'll try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sad-wilfred-doctor-who-crying-old-man-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"147\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, another Rosina scene?? NOT NOW.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the fiery hail hasn't actually arrived yet, I guess I'll settle for Ross randomly destroying Malfoy's No Trespassing property fence. Obliterate it, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/destroy-door-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"161\" height=\"120\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The animated gif above also serves as an allegory for what this episode has done to my emotions and overall mental health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>So many evil people to choose from and he snatches up a baby named after one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs?! The gall!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Bobby. \u003c/strong>Congrats on not being dead or whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Hang in there, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Baby Sara. \u003c/strong>*unintelligible parting message drowned out by all the crying*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The best character on this entire show deserves much better than this. Like a happy-go-lucky spin-off, which follows her, Horace and Oscar Wilde, as they joke and party their way all over London. Make it happen, Masterpiece!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"description": "In the previous episode of Poldark, Demelza tried to make fetch Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show Kids Are The Absolute Worst, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza tried to make \u003cdel>fetch\u003c/del> Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show\u003cem> Kids Are The Absolute Worst\u003c/em>, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie for Drake's final rose in a very special 18th-century version of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>? Will plugging our ears and saying \"LA LA LA\" really loudly stop whatever terrible thing is about to happen to Blondie's baby? Will the Poldarks need to decipher Swedish pictograph instructions to build a replacement kitchen table for the one they desecrated with all their boinking? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We... okay, I... asked for more smack-talking about children. And less than 10 seconds into this episode, Blondie is supplying in spades! Looking down on Baby Sara's cherubic face, she asks, \"Is this creature not provoking, boring me to tears with her endless smiles? I live for the day the little beast runs away. I tell her I shan't miss her at all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This would be a real knee-slapper if Baby Sara wasn't slowly dying and all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/princess-diaries-anne-hathaway-fan-face-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Understandably, Doc does not find the joke funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/way-harsh-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"475\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But since whatever's wrong with Baby Sara is still a secret, all he can do is quietly choke back a sob and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/brb-gtg-sob.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is busy doing what he does best: throwing a deranged Veruca Salt-sized tantrum. This time, it's about being voted out of Parliament. It's really hard to be an uber-rich white man, you guys!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Waaaahhhhhhh. It's 'cause my grandfather was a blacksmith, isn't it?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, no, I'm pretty sure people just despise everything else about you. Oh, and because I live to stir the pot and make everything worse, here's a fun fact: A little birdie told me that Demelza got your donor drunk and convinced him to rethink supporting evil jerks like you. Another reason to plot against my ex! Yay! I have no life and am dead inside!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's name immediately makes Malfoy's eyelid twitch. He yells that she's an \"impudent kitchen troll.\" As someone who enjoyed a modest collection of Troll dolls in the '90s, I consider that a compliment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"334\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg 334w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-240x359.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who needs mining when you're born with a precious jewel inside your belly button?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Doc holds Baby Sara and looks like he just watched Bambi's mom get shot \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the end of \u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em> back to back. Judging by Baby Sara's facial expression, she is harshly judging the writers for bringing her into this world, only to potentially kill her off as unceremoniously as a \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/WTF-i-just-got-here-poldark-baby-sarah-doctor-ennis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc whispers, \"Stay a little while longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. I'll be right back. Some dust got in my eye. *goes into the next room and cries into a pillow so my neighbors won't hear*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/im-emotional-right-now-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Poldark, out of nowhere, Demelza asks Ross if he thinks they will ever truly mend their relationship. Good god, I am getting tired of these constant intense couples therapy sessions! He cheated. She cheated. Horny poetry was exchanged. It's over. Let's move on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/enough-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, wow, it's like Ross and Demelza heard me 'cause they decide to stop talking about feelings and just have some more sex. That's more like it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/proud-of-you-thumbs-up-compute-kid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross quickly learns that being a politician isn't exactly the Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor dream he had in mind. His donor is already trying to control his vote on certain matters. Welcome to the swamp, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swamp-monkey-walk-cute-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the mine, Ross runs into Doc and asks why he always looks like this lately:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/baby-cry-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"352\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc confesses that Baby Sara has a congenital heart defect (NO!) and will for sure die (STOP!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106665\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/charlotte-sex-and-the-city-poldark-horace-baby-sarah-death.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Umm, awkward confession time: This might kind of be my fault. Remember when I was really against Blondie betraying her only child, Horace the Pug, by having a human child? Maybe all that advocating led to this? *Steve Urkel voice* \u003cem>Did I do thaaat?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/my-bad-clueless-cher-driving-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Morwenna's house, things just keep getting bleaker. Not only has Gross Goblin's mom practically moved in, but Elizabeth also pays a visit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106645\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-out-buffy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tells Morwenna that she thinks the way Mama Goblin terrorizes the nanny is strange. You know what's strange, Liz? The fact that you married off this poor girl to a toe-snacking rapist and have the audacity to pop on over for tea like it ain't no thing. Hell, party of one. We'll seat you now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For what feels like the 8,432nd episode in a row, Jennifer Lawrence puts her feet in Gross Goblin's mouth for money. Yawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to being terrible at...well, basic humanity, Gross Goblin is also terrible at not being caught sucking on someone else's wife's toes. While leaving Jennifer Lawrence's crack den, he is spotted not just by Elizabeth, but by Jennifer Lawrence's husband too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/congarts-you-suck-obama.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Geoffrey Charles pays a visit to Drake and yammers on about Morwenna. Drake shrugs and says, \"Life must go on,\" followed by a shot of Rosina waving. Once again, dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106483\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is roaming the space around Drake and waving all this girl does? Get a hobby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza forces Drake to walk Rosina home again, but this time, Sam doesn't go along to act as a human prophylactic. Rosina says people might get the wrong idea and think they're dating. Drake smiles and says he's okay with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106647\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-this-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"284\" height=\"196\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/very-upset-about-this-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin hatches a new plan to get even with Morwenna for denying him access to her feet; he plans to have her institutionalized. Can evil take a single afternoon off? I am exhausted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evil just got back to me about taking the afternoon off. It's a hard no. Baby Sara has developed a cough. So far, she's beating back the Grim Reaper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/carrie-sex-and-the-city-flower-gif-movie-mr-big.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Keep up the good fight, little one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin tries to get Doc to say that Morwenna is bonkers enough to lock away forever. Really not in the mood for this kind of nonsense today, Doc eviscerates Gross Goblin: \"I cannot help you, sir, nor do I wish to. It is my humble opinion that if a husband cannot win his wife by loving, kindness and sympathy, then he deserves to go without her. I bid you a good day!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you're not fluent in overly-polite British, here's a translation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/middle-finger-surprise-cross-bow-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I usually skip all the mining plotlines because zzzzzzzzzzz, but something important is actually happening down there for once. Ross plans to save the mine from bankruptcy by digging into new territory he thinks holds valuable minerals or whatever. Instead, he and Sam strike... a bunch of water! The mine starts to flood and everyone is in danger of drowning to death! Good going, guys! The homicidal puddle that murdered Francis is back for more!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenger for Gross Goblin's Bad At Everything title emerges in the form of some dude named Bobby. While trying to escape from the mine, he slips from the ladder, belly flops into deep water and then sinks to the bottom just in time for a random cart of rocks to fall on his leg. Oy vey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-your-shit-together-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross eventually frees him, and Doc manages to bring him back to life via mouth-to-mouth. That's great for Bobby and all, but will Doc be able to save Baby Sara?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106652\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/praying-crying-how-to-get-away-with-murder-gif-viola-davis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, Blondie finally knows about Baby Sara's condition and the prognosis gets even worse: Baby Sara will be dead in a matter of hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is all out of jokes. \"I never wanted this wretched creature, but over the months, she has wormed her way into my affections, supplanting even poor Horace.\" (Considering the situation, I'll allow the demotion.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asked whether Blondie wants Demelza to come over for support, she says, \"No, I am a hard woman and can fend for myself. I believe Demelza would cry, and that I fear would undo us all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza or no Demelza, I am undone. Baby Sara passes away that night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I held most of the tears back until I saw that little black casket. Then the floodgates really opened.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>R.I.P. Horace's lil sis! I'm sorry I hated on the idea of you. Please say hi to Agatha and Prison Bestie and Jago and Julia for me. No need to say anything to Francis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the funeral, Ross interrupts Demelza's weeping with yet another helping of jealousy over Prison Bestie. Is he serious?! At a time like this?!? As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, he then yells in Demelza's face about how he doesn't like his new job. \u003cem>Boo hoo, being one of the most powerful men in the country isn't as fun as I thought it would be! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone grieves in their own way, but this is one of the dumbest. Get over yourself, dude! Baby Sara is dead and your grumpiness over work and your insecurity over a one-off sand-dune-boogie is all you can think about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just in case we needed another reminder of evil never resting, Malfoy and Elizabeth share idiotic grins over how they managed to buy their way back into Parliament. This would be a good time for a Biblical plague to hit their house. Let's not do frogs again. Death of the firstborn just happened, so let's skip that too. Locusts, biting insects, livestock disease, darkness and a river turning into blood won't do either. So fiery hail it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's for...well, everything, but especially for not letting Agatha lie about her age and have a fun, boozy birthday party!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Blondie decides to leave Doc and move to London so she can learn to forget the loss of Baby Sara. Uh oh, there go the floodgates again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My face had just dried! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At last, we get a reward for surviving all of this emotional devastation. Ding dong, it's HORACE O'CLOCK! And not a moment too soon! A much-needed rainbow after this sh*t-storm of an episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106659\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-pug-poldark-carriage-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Find someone who looks at you the way Doc looks at Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/smile-horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I do realize he's actually looking at Blondie. Let me have my fun during this emotional time!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While leaving Cornwall maybe forever, Blondie tells Doc, \"Do your best not to miss Horace.\" Ok, Blondie, we'll try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sad-wilfred-doctor-who-crying-old-man-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"147\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, another Rosina scene?? NOT NOW.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the fiery hail hasn't actually arrived yet, I guess I'll settle for Ross randomly destroying Malfoy's No Trespassing property fence. Obliterate it, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/destroy-door-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"161\" height=\"120\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The animated gif above also serves as an allegory for what this episode has done to my emotions and overall mental health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>So many evil people to choose from and he snatches up a baby named after one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs?! The gall!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Bobby. \u003c/strong>Congrats on not being dead or whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Hang in there, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Baby Sara. \u003c/strong>*unintelligible parting message drowned out by all the crying*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The best character on this entire show deserves much better than this. Like a happy-go-lucky spin-off, which follows her, Horace and Oscar Wilde, as they joke and party their way all over London. Make it happen, Masterpiece!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Gross Goblin continued to gobble up lady toes, Ross finally decided to snatch Malfoy's Parliament seat, and Prison Bestie died from blue balls (...um, and a brain tumor). Will Gross Goblin cut his lip on a toenail? Will Ross start rocking one of those fabulous wigs British politicians like to wear? Will Prison Bestie's horny poetry be posthumously published in a Fabio-esque supermarket volume?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"828\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg 498w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-160x266.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-240x399.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-375x623.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 498px) 100vw, 498px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out. On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom, we're in London! Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster is in full effect! Ross has first-day-of-school jitters and is intimidated by all the different wig styles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106474 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-768x404.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1020x536.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1200x631.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1920x1010.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1180x621.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-960x505.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-240x126.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-375x197.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-520x273.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't take long for Ross to get over his shyness and get back to what he does best: shouting up a righteous storm. Meanwhile, back in Cornwall, Demelza reads a letter from Ross that essentially goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, stranger!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I can't believe it's already been six months and that I didn't even bother coming home for Christmas. What can I say? There's just less incentive to be a good husband now that whats-his-butt is dead. London is soooo cool. I'd invite you to check it out, but I don't want to.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>See you when I see you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ross.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needless to say, she is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/crumple-up-paper-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"241\" height=\"135\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, a girl called Rosina (which also happens to be Ross' drag name) says hello to Drake in a lets-go-to-your-secret-cave-and-make-a-baby kind of way. Demelza gives Drake a look that says: \u003cem>Bro, you've been shot, clubbed in the back, almost hanged, and lost your first true love to a toe-gobbler. Maybe it's time for you to get some.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-poldark-raise-eyebrows-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross is at a super cool rave featuring pyrotechnics, colored wigs, random elephant statues, and other hedonistic stuff there are probably commandments against. Marie Antoinette's ghost flies overhead and howls, \u003cem>Y'all get to boogie down like this, and I'm the one without a head?!?\u003c/em> Agatha's ghost also soars overhead and howls, \u003cem>Where's my port?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quick question: Is this guy trying to pick up Ross?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-poldark-cruising-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since y'all can't answer me right now, I'm gonna go with a resounding YES.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The woman who checked out Ross' butt at the hanging in the season premiere started a trend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into Geoffrey Charles, who has gone through quite the accelerated puberty since we last saw him. Ross lies to him about how dignified his dad, Francis, was. Are we thinking of the same person? The Francis who skipped the war, stole his first cousin's girlfriend, was generally bad at everything and got murdered by a puddle? That Francis?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sure-ross-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy tries to decide which evil thing he'll get up to this week. Drowning puppies and tripping toddlers will have to wait; a fellow Disney villain whom we'll call Sir Scam-a-Lot encourages Malfoy to worm his way back into the House of Commons by buying a town and by extension its representative. You know how the old saying goes: If you can't beat Ross in an election, join him in Westminster through evil anti-democratic means!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Verity, the Queen of Season 1, is back! But it's hard to pay attention to her while a very pregnant Blondie, surrounded by other people's loud children, says, \"I must be in hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't know about you, but I'd love to party with Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/we-hate-kids-nicole-richie-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Verity won't stop bringing up touchy subjects.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Where did this weird ass flower come from?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's a magnolia...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>...given to me by a half-blind hottie I sexed up on a sand dune.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth's house is super nice now, but you probably never see it cause she tried to wreck your home.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, how's Lisbon?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someday, I am going to uppercut Elizabeth Mortal Kombat-style, then set her house on fire and light my cigarette on the flames.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106479\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stella-got-her-grooce-back-fire-car-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"387\" height=\"217\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/elmo-burn-it-down-fire-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"440\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After receiving news that the family mine might have to close down, Ross finally decides to pause his super busy rave-attending schedule to make the journey home. He's bored the entire way because the in-carriage entertainment options leave something to be desired.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross rides up to the house, Demelza gives him her cheek (not a great sign). Ross proceeds to make everything worse by nonchalantly asking, \u003cem>What have you been up to?\u003c/em> Demelza calmly provides a list through gritted teeth, \u003cem>Oh, I don't know, keeping the children alive, tending to the farm, making sure there's enough to eat, trying to keep the mine from going bankrupt, nothing major!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In one of those apartments that looks fine on Craiglist until you visit it in person and realize it's a crack den, Jennifer Lawrence is upset about her lack of finances. That's when she notices her big toe peeking out of her pantyhose, which makes her think of Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/toe-jam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This storyline = dead horse. Status: Beaten. Must we do this again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess so 'cause she invites Gross Goblin over and asks for money in exchange for her toe jam services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-foot-fetish-vicar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We get it! He likes munching on feet! Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere moments after giving birth, Blondie asks Doc, \"Is she as ugly as we feared?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/julia-roberts-cracking-up-laughing-oscars-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"309\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please never change, Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Ross admits that he stayed away all these months because he figured Demelza was still swooning over Prison Bestie's ghost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I think you no longer know me, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps we no longer know each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this rate, the next episode will look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sweet-home-alabama-reese-divorce-gi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross heads to the beach to give viewers another look at his hairy chest. But before he can rip his shirt off, he notices another character has already beaten him to the gratuitous, wet, half-naked punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-ross-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">It's Doc!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-doc-chest-shirtless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message between the lines of Ross' face: \u003cem>I'ma let you finish, but the shirtless wet hunk vibe is sort of my thing.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Ross heads to the mine and goes in for a hug from his old pauper pals. He gets brutally rebuffed. They think he's an out-of-touch outsider now. They're solidly #TeamDemelza. And who can blame 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Demelza, she's still trying to hook Rosina up with Drake by forcing him to walk her home. Thankfully, Sam offers to come along. Finally, his hatred of premarital kissing proves useful!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106483 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you know what time it is?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HORACE THE PUG O'CLOCK!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's house, Horace is watching over Sarah, either protecting her or plotting to smother her so he can be an only child again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-baby-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc seems to think it's the latter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I do believe Horace is feeling neglected.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Nonsense. He knows I adore him above all things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree with everything Blondie says so intensely, I'm starting to wonder if I'm her reincarnated form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I can investigate that theory any further, Doc picks up Sarah and has a very worried look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"You seem very attached to that child. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, according to the ominous music playing in the background, no need to worry about that 'cause Sarah might not get to grow up at all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kermit-anxious-worried-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In much less important news, Ross is feeling left out from a fishing trip all his old buddies are going on. Demelza tells him to grow up. Maybe in London, adults wait for embossed invitations to hang out with their friends, but in Cornwall, you just show up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he does, instead of finding a snoozy fishing trip, Ross discovers it's actually an all-out brawl! Drake runs and tells Ross why people are getting their teeth knocked out. His accent is so thick I don't know the reason for sure, but it seems like Bone Maraca Pirate (remember, he keeps the bones of his dearly departed hand in a pouch) slept with a widow whose husband is very much alive. Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, the reason doesn't matter 'cause Ross never met a throwdown he didn't like. Ross might be a fancy politician now, but he still enjoys kicking butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Literally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106495\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kick-butt-ross-poldark-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the dust settles, Bone Maraca Pirate seems like he's dead (not another one!), but it turns out he just probably has some minor brain damage. Cool!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like earlier seasons of this show, Ross and his bros head to the pub to get tanked, and Ross eventually stumbles on over to Elizabeth's house because my blood pressure isn't high enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106496\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-is-wrong-with-you-practical-magic-gif-nicole-kidman.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's too bad Demelza no longer has a living love affair partner to be inappropriate with!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-fair-scream-queens-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Malfoy hosts a fancy party, Elizabeth just so happens to be outside admiring a flower when Ross walks up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fuming-mad-hades-hercules-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They chat about their secret love child and whether her husband still suspects that he's not the father. You know, a normal conversation we all have had with our exes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's new friend, Sir Scam-a-Lot, pops up out of nowhere and says he thought Ross was a \"threadbare troubadour.\" Kick him in the butt, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once, there was an Elizabeth scene in which she didn't get on my last nerve. She wasn't flirty or spiteful, and actually had an OK sense of humor. But I bet she does something gross in 5, 4, 3...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/countdown-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth goes back inside and immediately gets gross by being way too enthused about Malfoy's new evil plan to spread more injustice. Woomp, there it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oprah-shrug-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere at the party, Doc stares into a fireplace, thinking of his maybe dying baby. Blondie asks him, \"What can you be thinking? How to make your escape and return to our odious offspring?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cringe-hard-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"285\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eeeek! That was almost as bad as when he just got back with major PTSD from being a prisoner of war and she snuck up on him for no reason and screamed \"BOO!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finally makes it to his own house and—*record scratch*—actually tells Demelza the truth about going to see Elizabeth. Honesty?? I could get used to this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with the last two episodes, the end of the show means it's time for Ross and Demelza to have a heart-to-heart next to a fireplace. This time, Ross gives a little speech:\u003cem> All I've given you is grief and distrust and heartbreak, so here are some earrings cause I took an online quiz and it told me your love language was receiving gifts!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good job, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Are we strangers still?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, but strangers who know every inch of each other's skin. So perhaps we should begin again from there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106500\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/living-single-fans-self-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Then Ross grabs Demelza...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...and they have sex on the kitchen table because why the hell not!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106501\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/old-lady-looks-computer-glasses-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Rosina. \u003c/strong>I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but I am still holding out hope for Morwenna. Move along, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Athlete's Foot. \u003c/strong>I'm counting on this fungus to infect Jennifer Lawrence and Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Ross and Demelza's Kids. \u003c/strong>Here's something shiny to distract them from the sounds of their parents making another sibling on the table in the next room.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>Good job not killing the baby! Like his mom said, I adore him above all things.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>She doesn't always time her jokes correctly, but I love this patron saint of not giving an F just as much as I love Horace, and we all know by now that's no small feat.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, a pug contemplates smothering a baby to death. Other stuff happens too.",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Gross Goblin continued to gobble up lady toes, Ross finally decided to snatch Malfoy's Parliament seat, and Prison Bestie died from blue balls (...um, and a brain tumor). Will Gross Goblin cut his lip on a toenail? Will Ross start rocking one of those fabulous wigs British politicians like to wear? Will Prison Bestie's horny poetry be posthumously published in a Fabio-esque supermarket volume?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"828\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg 498w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-160x266.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-240x399.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-375x623.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 498px) 100vw, 498px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out. On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom, we're in London! Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster is in full effect! Ross has first-day-of-school jitters and is intimidated by all the different wig styles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106474 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-768x404.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1020x536.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1200x631.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1920x1010.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1180x621.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-960x505.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-240x126.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-375x197.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-520x273.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't take long for Ross to get over his shyness and get back to what he does best: shouting up a righteous storm. Meanwhile, back in Cornwall, Demelza reads a letter from Ross that essentially goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, stranger!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I can't believe it's already been six months and that I didn't even bother coming home for Christmas. What can I say? There's just less incentive to be a good husband now that whats-his-butt is dead. London is soooo cool. I'd invite you to check it out, but I don't want to.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>See you when I see you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ross.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needless to say, she is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/crumple-up-paper-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"241\" height=\"135\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, a girl called Rosina (which also happens to be Ross' drag name) says hello to Drake in a lets-go-to-your-secret-cave-and-make-a-baby kind of way. Demelza gives Drake a look that says: \u003cem>Bro, you've been shot, clubbed in the back, almost hanged, and lost your first true love to a toe-gobbler. Maybe it's time for you to get some.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-poldark-raise-eyebrows-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross is at a super cool rave featuring pyrotechnics, colored wigs, random elephant statues, and other hedonistic stuff there are probably commandments against. Marie Antoinette's ghost flies overhead and howls, \u003cem>Y'all get to boogie down like this, and I'm the one without a head?!?\u003c/em> Agatha's ghost also soars overhead and howls, \u003cem>Where's my port?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quick question: Is this guy trying to pick up Ross?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-poldark-cruising-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since y'all can't answer me right now, I'm gonna go with a resounding YES.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The woman who checked out Ross' butt at the hanging in the season premiere started a trend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into Geoffrey Charles, who has gone through quite the accelerated puberty since we last saw him. Ross lies to him about how dignified his dad, Francis, was. Are we thinking of the same person? The Francis who skipped the war, stole his first cousin's girlfriend, was generally bad at everything and got murdered by a puddle? That Francis?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sure-ross-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy tries to decide which evil thing he'll get up to this week. Drowning puppies and tripping toddlers will have to wait; a fellow Disney villain whom we'll call Sir Scam-a-Lot encourages Malfoy to worm his way back into the House of Commons by buying a town and by extension its representative. You know how the old saying goes: If you can't beat Ross in an election, join him in Westminster through evil anti-democratic means!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Verity, the Queen of Season 1, is back! But it's hard to pay attention to her while a very pregnant Blondie, surrounded by other people's loud children, says, \"I must be in hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't know about you, but I'd love to party with Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/we-hate-kids-nicole-richie-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Verity won't stop bringing up touchy subjects.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Where did this weird ass flower come from?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's a magnolia...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>...given to me by a half-blind hottie I sexed up on a sand dune.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth's house is super nice now, but you probably never see it cause she tried to wreck your home.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, how's Lisbon?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someday, I am going to uppercut Elizabeth Mortal Kombat-style, then set her house on fire and light my cigarette on the flames.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106479\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stella-got-her-grooce-back-fire-car-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"387\" height=\"217\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/elmo-burn-it-down-fire-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"440\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After receiving news that the family mine might have to close down, Ross finally decides to pause his super busy rave-attending schedule to make the journey home. He's bored the entire way because the in-carriage entertainment options leave something to be desired.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross rides up to the house, Demelza gives him her cheek (not a great sign). Ross proceeds to make everything worse by nonchalantly asking, \u003cem>What have you been up to?\u003c/em> Demelza calmly provides a list through gritted teeth, \u003cem>Oh, I don't know, keeping the children alive, tending to the farm, making sure there's enough to eat, trying to keep the mine from going bankrupt, nothing major!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In one of those apartments that looks fine on Craiglist until you visit it in person and realize it's a crack den, Jennifer Lawrence is upset about her lack of finances. That's when she notices her big toe peeking out of her pantyhose, which makes her think of Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/toe-jam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This storyline = dead horse. Status: Beaten. Must we do this again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess so 'cause she invites Gross Goblin over and asks for money in exchange for her toe jam services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-foot-fetish-vicar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We get it! He likes munching on feet! Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere moments after giving birth, Blondie asks Doc, \"Is she as ugly as we feared?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/julia-roberts-cracking-up-laughing-oscars-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"309\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please never change, Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Ross admits that he stayed away all these months because he figured Demelza was still swooning over Prison Bestie's ghost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I think you no longer know me, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps we no longer know each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this rate, the next episode will look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sweet-home-alabama-reese-divorce-gi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross heads to the beach to give viewers another look at his hairy chest. But before he can rip his shirt off, he notices another character has already beaten him to the gratuitous, wet, half-naked punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-ross-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">It's Doc!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-doc-chest-shirtless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message between the lines of Ross' face: \u003cem>I'ma let you finish, but the shirtless wet hunk vibe is sort of my thing.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Ross heads to the mine and goes in for a hug from his old pauper pals. He gets brutally rebuffed. They think he's an out-of-touch outsider now. They're solidly #TeamDemelza. And who can blame 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Demelza, she's still trying to hook Rosina up with Drake by forcing him to walk her home. Thankfully, Sam offers to come along. Finally, his hatred of premarital kissing proves useful!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106483 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you know what time it is?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HORACE THE PUG O'CLOCK!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's house, Horace is watching over Sarah, either protecting her or plotting to smother her so he can be an only child again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-baby-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc seems to think it's the latter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I do believe Horace is feeling neglected.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Nonsense. He knows I adore him above all things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree with everything Blondie says so intensely, I'm starting to wonder if I'm her reincarnated form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I can investigate that theory any further, Doc picks up Sarah and has a very worried look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"You seem very attached to that child. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, according to the ominous music playing in the background, no need to worry about that 'cause Sarah might not get to grow up at all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kermit-anxious-worried-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In much less important news, Ross is feeling left out from a fishing trip all his old buddies are going on. Demelza tells him to grow up. Maybe in London, adults wait for embossed invitations to hang out with their friends, but in Cornwall, you just show up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he does, instead of finding a snoozy fishing trip, Ross discovers it's actually an all-out brawl! Drake runs and tells Ross why people are getting their teeth knocked out. His accent is so thick I don't know the reason for sure, but it seems like Bone Maraca Pirate (remember, he keeps the bones of his dearly departed hand in a pouch) slept with a widow whose husband is very much alive. Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, the reason doesn't matter 'cause Ross never met a throwdown he didn't like. Ross might be a fancy politician now, but he still enjoys kicking butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Literally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106495\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kick-butt-ross-poldark-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the dust settles, Bone Maraca Pirate seems like he's dead (not another one!), but it turns out he just probably has some minor brain damage. Cool!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like earlier seasons of this show, Ross and his bros head to the pub to get tanked, and Ross eventually stumbles on over to Elizabeth's house because my blood pressure isn't high enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106496\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-is-wrong-with-you-practical-magic-gif-nicole-kidman.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's too bad Demelza no longer has a living love affair partner to be inappropriate with!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-fair-scream-queens-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Malfoy hosts a fancy party, Elizabeth just so happens to be outside admiring a flower when Ross walks up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fuming-mad-hades-hercules-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They chat about their secret love child and whether her husband still suspects that he's not the father. You know, a normal conversation we all have had with our exes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's new friend, Sir Scam-a-Lot, pops up out of nowhere and says he thought Ross was a \"threadbare troubadour.\" Kick him in the butt, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once, there was an Elizabeth scene in which she didn't get on my last nerve. She wasn't flirty or spiteful, and actually had an OK sense of humor. But I bet she does something gross in 5, 4, 3...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/countdown-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth goes back inside and immediately gets gross by being way too enthused about Malfoy's new evil plan to spread more injustice. Woomp, there it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oprah-shrug-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere at the party, Doc stares into a fireplace, thinking of his maybe dying baby. Blondie asks him, \"What can you be thinking? How to make your escape and return to our odious offspring?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cringe-hard-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"285\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eeeek! That was almost as bad as when he just got back with major PTSD from being a prisoner of war and she snuck up on him for no reason and screamed \"BOO!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finally makes it to his own house and—*record scratch*—actually tells Demelza the truth about going to see Elizabeth. Honesty?? I could get used to this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with the last two episodes, the end of the show means it's time for Ross and Demelza to have a heart-to-heart next to a fireplace. This time, Ross gives a little speech:\u003cem> All I've given you is grief and distrust and heartbreak, so here are some earrings cause I took an online quiz and it told me your love language was receiving gifts!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good job, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Are we strangers still?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, but strangers who know every inch of each other's skin. So perhaps we should begin again from there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106500\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/living-single-fans-self-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Then Ross grabs Demelza...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...and they have sex on the kitchen table because why the hell not!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106501\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/old-lady-looks-computer-glasses-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Rosina. \u003c/strong>I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but I am still holding out hope for Morwenna. Move along, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Athlete's Foot. \u003c/strong>I'm counting on this fungus to infect Jennifer Lawrence and Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Ross and Demelza's Kids. \u003c/strong>Here's something shiny to distract them from the sounds of their parents making another sibling on the table in the next room.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>Good job not killing the baby! Like his mom said, I adore him above all things.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>She doesn't always time her jokes correctly, but I love this patron saint of not giving an F just as much as I love Horace, and we all know by now that's no small feat.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a half-naked Ross emerged from the waves to work on repairing his marriage, a lot of horny love poems made their way to Demelza, and a new character named Jago was unjustly hanged because he was craving some bread. Will Ross and \u003cdel>Rachel\u003c/del> Demelza have an argument over whether they were on a break? Will Prison Bestie realize his true calling: writing those sexy, sappy, supermarket romance novels with Fabio on the cover? Will Jago's ghost team up with Agatha's spirit to haunt Malfoy for eternity? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode begins just like the last: with a shot of crashing waves. Only this time, there's 100% less of Ross' hairy chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106326\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/angry-birds-disappointed-sad-happy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106327\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/where-is-it-the-west-wing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things are even bleaker over at Prison Bestie's house. His I'm-going-blind headaches are getting worse. Doc offers a couple of prescriptions: Go easy on the opium and try writing horny poetry during the day, instead of by the dimmest of candlelight. Prison Bestie doesn't like any of this advice because drugs can be fun and nighttime is the best time to think of saucy rhymes. He sends for the doctor who routinely tortures people for a second opinion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie has an announcement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's pregnant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And very unhappy about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't want the brat,\" she says. \"Really. I cannot bear babies. Wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrants.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the most random of B-plots, Demelza's Bible-thumping brother, Sam, agrees to wrestle Malfoy's evil sidekick, Slytherin Crony. The prize: converting the girl who desperately needed some dry shampoo last season to Christianity. I told you it was random.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106329\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-dont-know-why-youre-doing-this-michelle-rodriguez-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, in an effort to take her mind off of the \"wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrant\" growing inside her, Blondie dreams up an elaborate scheme to help Prison Bestie win the election against Malfoy. It would be a win-win; everyone would get to see Malfoy ugly cry when he loses and Prison Bestie would move to London and stop reminding Demelza that her kink is sleeping with partially blind hotties on sand dunes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Mr. Sand Dune Seducer, he's getting that second opinion he wanted, and it's not pretty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Choke's idea of a health care plan:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:00 pm: Blistering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:30 pm: Purging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>01:00 pm: Vomiting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:00 pm: Poulticing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:30 pm: Bleeding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-dumb-and-dumber-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"452\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If none of this works (spoiler: it absolutely won't), there's always Plan B: Shaving Prison Bestie's pretty little head and then drilling a hole into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-liar-liar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Blondie is hard at work, implementing her election meddling plan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 1: Invite the donor behind Malfoy's bid and the donor behind Prison Bestie's bid over for tea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 2: Distract them from their opposing political views by serving lots and lots of booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 3: Once they're properly tanked, bring up how much Malfoy sucks and allow mutual hatred to bring them together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-malfoy-too.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local pub, Ross and Malfoy are also getting tanked (separately). Remember that time in Season 2 when they got into a huge fight at this same pub and Malfoy tried to gouge Ross' eyes out? Or that time Ross almost put Malfoy's entire head into a burning fireplace? Ding, ding! Let's hear it for Round 3!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"624\" height=\"457\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, false alarm! You can put your popcorn away. Nothing happens, other than some light smack talk. Malfoy heckles Ross about how Jago deserved to die and maybe Ross could have prevented the hanging if he ever ran for office instead of just whining from the sidelines. Wait, what's this strange feeling? Am I halfway agreeing with Malfoy on something?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-surprised-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of murdering Malfoy and then drinking wine out of his skull (can you tell I watched all of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> this year?), Ross settles for a less gory approach to getting even: placing bets on the wrestling match and donating the proceeds to a local hospital!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wow-this-is-boring-the-comeback-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is really invested in beating Malfoy, so he trains Sam to become the WWE Champion. Because the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers won't give us any queer characters, some of us are left to purposefully take this scene out of context.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-ross-wrestling-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, it's time to rumble for real. Wrestlemania 1790 is on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-800x731.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-768x702.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-960x878.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-520x475.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam wins the first match (he also wins Best Dressed, thanks to those breathtaking fluorescent neon tassels). But the good guys don't get to celebrate for long. Slytherin Crony tries to gouge Sam's eyes out! Several times! Then he gouges Sam's heart out by looking at Dry Shampoo Girl and saying, \"You're welcome to her soul. I've already had her body.\" Sam can't even handle the idea of innocent kissing, let alone something of this caliber, so it's a TKO.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's down and out is Prison Bestie. Turns out having leeches all over your body doesn't cure brain fever or a broken heart. Doc says he needs to want to get better. Prison Bestie responds by humming \"How Do I Live Without You\" by LeAnn Rimes, while thinking of Demelza. Okay, that's a great song, and Demelza is a great girl, but these dramatics are a little over the top, don't you think?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Drake runs into his ex, Morwenna, and because it's the 18th-century, they proceed to have very awkward small talk about a hanging:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, I saw you at your execution. Sorry I didn't say hi.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, that's okay. I was kind of busy waiting to be put to death and all. Anyway, is your husband still terrorizing your feet?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before she can answer, Gross Goblin screams \"WIFE!\" and then rants about how the locals are barbarians. This would be a great time for a giant anvil to randomly fall out of the sky and onto his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross and Demelza drop in to check on Prison Bestie, who immediately asks if he can be alone with Demelza. He gets his wish (because #OpenRelationship) and immediately hands her another horny love poem (you gotta hand it to the guy; even on death's door, he finds the time). Meanwhile, in the hallway, his uncle convinces Ross to run in the election.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts tin-foil hat on*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Conspiracy Theory Time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What if Prison Bestie is pretending to be ill so that he doesn't have to move to London to be a politician, knowing that Ross will take his place, thus leaving Demelza for months at a time and paving the way for more sand dune sex?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tin-foil-hat-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*removes tin-foil hat*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza finally gets some alone time to read Prison Bestie's latest poem. It's basically the lyrics to \"My Heart Will Go On.\" Demelza doesn't even get to the \"Near, far, wherever you are\" part before Ross bursts in. She immediately crumbles the paper up and sits on it (because that's not suspicious at all) and then runs out of the room. Um, Demelza, this is not how you sneak around. Did you learn nothing from watching Ross sneak around for years??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross reads the poem...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and is actually pretty chill about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know who has failed to grow or develop as a human being over the past three seasons? Elizabeth! After discovering that Ross is running in the election, she offers to help blackmail and threaten rich white people to vote in Malfoy's favor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be right back; I have to have a little chat with Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who got engaged to Ross' cousin when Ross took too long to survive the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who killed Julia, Ross and Demelza's kid, with your germs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who thanked Demelza for nursing you and your child back to health by sleeping with her man and then pressuring him to dump her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some people in this narrative should be angry, and none of them are YOU.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So get over yourself!! Goodbye!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106346 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106348 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/veruca-salt-calming-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry y'all had to hear all of that. I just don't get her gripe with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ANYWAY...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Election Day has come! 17 rich white dudes get to decide whether Ross or Malfoy will reign supreme because that seems like a fair process. A bunch of them vote for Malfoy, until the dude Blondie plied with booze switches his vote to Ross. The remaining voters look at each other and think, \u003cem>Oh, we don't have to be evil anymore and all it took to realize that is one person doing the right thing? Sounds legit!\u003c/em> By a vote of nine to eight, Ross squeaks out a victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy and Elizabeth are SHOCKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/u-mad-oprah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rants about how prejudice and privilege are the reason he lost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/thats-funny-tell-another-one-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, Ross' victory lap gets interrupted by the news that Prison Bestie DIED! WTF! I thought he was just pretending! Or needed Lasik surgery! Noooo! Things are going to be so boring now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/the-room-throw-tv-out-window-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if Demelza's love affair partner dies, it's only fair that Ross' also dies, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106356\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/off-with-her-head-alice-wonderland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like me, Ross confesses that he thought Prison Bestie was exaggerating to get Demelza's attention. Doc says not to feel too bad because now Prison Bestie will be immortal and Ross will always look pale in comparison. Good luck with that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the random B-plot we all forgot was still going on: Dry Shampoo Girl lets Sam know that, despite what was said in the wrestling ring, she is still a virgin. Praise baby Jesus! But she doesn't want to be saved. Taking back that baby Jesus praise! She announces that she's about to move away forever, and then kisses him. Why did she go and do that?! You know how many Haily Marys he's gonna have to say now to repent for that? He hates kissing! Demelza and her brothers sure are cursed in the love department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of sex, like I said last week, PBS seems to edit out any sexy scenes, but for some reason, they left in this shot of Gross Goblin gobbling up a sex worker's foot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/foot-fetish-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106352\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/miss-jay-disgusted-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other Ewwwww news, Elizabeth is still very much alive and wants to make another baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I'm not rolling my eyes enough already, Morwenna's no-good sister Jennifer Lawrence crawls back from under her rock to tell Gross Goblin she was never pregnant last season and just said so to blackmail him. That's fine. He deserves it, but why do evil scammer things and not help your sister at all? Whatever, loser. You're dead to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ross and Demelza's weekly sit by the fire, where they hash out really intense emotional issues that could destroy their marriage at any moment. Ross wants to know the whole truth of her love affair with Prison Bestie. Demelza confesses that he did touch her heart (...and a few other things), and that she did love him, but in a different iambic pentameter way. She explains that she's not only sobbing for Prison Bestie, but also for Julia (thanks, Elizabeth!) and also for the broken unjust world in general. Ross can't bring back her dead lover or her dead daughter, but maybe he can bring back democracy! Coming soon to a television screen near you: Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I thought she was plotting some huge revenge plot against Gross Goblin the entirety of last season and it was all so she could get a bit of pocket change? Still pissed about it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>He almost got his eyes gouged out, failed to save Dry Shampoo Girl's soul and went to first base before marriage. A pretty rough week, all in all, so he deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong> I can pretend that this award is for influencing the election in a positive way or being a much-needed support for Demelza, but let's be real, it's for that iconic anti-baby speech. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Sorry about... well, everything. #ItGetsBetter. *looks around 2018* Actually, it doesn't, so here's a silver medal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Prison Bestie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>You came (*knowing look*), you saw (kind of), you conquered (the Cornwall poetry scene). We will never forget your unmatched horniness. Say hi to Agatha and Jago for us, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Eye-gouging! Wrestling! Voting! Dying! This episode has it all!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a half-naked Ross emerged from the waves to work on repairing his marriage, a lot of horny love poems made their way to Demelza, and a new character named Jago was unjustly hanged because he was craving some bread. Will Ross and \u003cdel>Rachel\u003c/del> Demelza have an argument over whether they were on a break? Will Prison Bestie realize his true calling: writing those sexy, sappy, supermarket romance novels with Fabio on the cover? Will Jago's ghost team up with Agatha's spirit to haunt Malfoy for eternity? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode begins just like the last: with a shot of crashing waves. Only this time, there's 100% less of Ross' hairy chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106326\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/angry-birds-disappointed-sad-happy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106327\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/where-is-it-the-west-wing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things are even bleaker over at Prison Bestie's house. His I'm-going-blind headaches are getting worse. Doc offers a couple of prescriptions: Go easy on the opium and try writing horny poetry during the day, instead of by the dimmest of candlelight. Prison Bestie doesn't like any of this advice because drugs can be fun and nighttime is the best time to think of saucy rhymes. He sends for the doctor who routinely tortures people for a second opinion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie has an announcement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's pregnant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And very unhappy about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't want the brat,\" she says. \"Really. I cannot bear babies. Wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrants.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the most random of B-plots, Demelza's Bible-thumping brother, Sam, agrees to wrestle Malfoy's evil sidekick, Slytherin Crony. The prize: converting the girl who desperately needed some dry shampoo last season to Christianity. I told you it was random.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106329\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-dont-know-why-youre-doing-this-michelle-rodriguez-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, in an effort to take her mind off of the \"wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrant\" growing inside her, Blondie dreams up an elaborate scheme to help Prison Bestie win the election against Malfoy. It would be a win-win; everyone would get to see Malfoy ugly cry when he loses and Prison Bestie would move to London and stop reminding Demelza that her kink is sleeping with partially blind hotties on sand dunes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Mr. Sand Dune Seducer, he's getting that second opinion he wanted, and it's not pretty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Choke's idea of a health care plan:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:00 pm: Blistering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:30 pm: Purging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>01:00 pm: Vomiting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:00 pm: Poulticing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:30 pm: Bleeding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-dumb-and-dumber-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"452\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If none of this works (spoiler: it absolutely won't), there's always Plan B: Shaving Prison Bestie's pretty little head and then drilling a hole into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-liar-liar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Blondie is hard at work, implementing her election meddling plan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 1: Invite the donor behind Malfoy's bid and the donor behind Prison Bestie's bid over for tea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 2: Distract them from their opposing political views by serving lots and lots of booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 3: Once they're properly tanked, bring up how much Malfoy sucks and allow mutual hatred to bring them together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-malfoy-too.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local pub, Ross and Malfoy are also getting tanked (separately). Remember that time in Season 2 when they got into a huge fight at this same pub and Malfoy tried to gouge Ross' eyes out? Or that time Ross almost put Malfoy's entire head into a burning fireplace? Ding, ding! Let's hear it for Round 3!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"624\" height=\"457\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, false alarm! You can put your popcorn away. Nothing happens, other than some light smack talk. Malfoy heckles Ross about how Jago deserved to die and maybe Ross could have prevented the hanging if he ever ran for office instead of just whining from the sidelines. Wait, what's this strange feeling? Am I halfway agreeing with Malfoy on something?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-surprised-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of murdering Malfoy and then drinking wine out of his skull (can you tell I watched all of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> this year?), Ross settles for a less gory approach to getting even: placing bets on the wrestling match and donating the proceeds to a local hospital!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wow-this-is-boring-the-comeback-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is really invested in beating Malfoy, so he trains Sam to become the WWE Champion. Because the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers won't give us any queer characters, some of us are left to purposefully take this scene out of context.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-ross-wrestling-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, it's time to rumble for real. Wrestlemania 1790 is on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-800x731.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-768x702.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-960x878.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-520x475.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam wins the first match (he also wins Best Dressed, thanks to those breathtaking fluorescent neon tassels). But the good guys don't get to celebrate for long. Slytherin Crony tries to gouge Sam's eyes out! Several times! Then he gouges Sam's heart out by looking at Dry Shampoo Girl and saying, \"You're welcome to her soul. I've already had her body.\" Sam can't even handle the idea of innocent kissing, let alone something of this caliber, so it's a TKO.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's down and out is Prison Bestie. Turns out having leeches all over your body doesn't cure brain fever or a broken heart. Doc says he needs to want to get better. Prison Bestie responds by humming \"How Do I Live Without You\" by LeAnn Rimes, while thinking of Demelza. Okay, that's a great song, and Demelza is a great girl, but these dramatics are a little over the top, don't you think?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Drake runs into his ex, Morwenna, and because it's the 18th-century, they proceed to have very awkward small talk about a hanging:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, I saw you at your execution. Sorry I didn't say hi.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, that's okay. I was kind of busy waiting to be put to death and all. Anyway, is your husband still terrorizing your feet?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before she can answer, Gross Goblin screams \"WIFE!\" and then rants about how the locals are barbarians. This would be a great time for a giant anvil to randomly fall out of the sky and onto his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross and Demelza drop in to check on Prison Bestie, who immediately asks if he can be alone with Demelza. He gets his wish (because #OpenRelationship) and immediately hands her another horny love poem (you gotta hand it to the guy; even on death's door, he finds the time). Meanwhile, in the hallway, his uncle convinces Ross to run in the election.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts tin-foil hat on*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Conspiracy Theory Time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What if Prison Bestie is pretending to be ill so that he doesn't have to move to London to be a politician, knowing that Ross will take his place, thus leaving Demelza for months at a time and paving the way for more sand dune sex?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tin-foil-hat-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*removes tin-foil hat*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza finally gets some alone time to read Prison Bestie's latest poem. It's basically the lyrics to \"My Heart Will Go On.\" Demelza doesn't even get to the \"Near, far, wherever you are\" part before Ross bursts in. She immediately crumbles the paper up and sits on it (because that's not suspicious at all) and then runs out of the room. Um, Demelza, this is not how you sneak around. Did you learn nothing from watching Ross sneak around for years??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross reads the poem...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and is actually pretty chill about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know who has failed to grow or develop as a human being over the past three seasons? Elizabeth! After discovering that Ross is running in the election, she offers to help blackmail and threaten rich white people to vote in Malfoy's favor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be right back; I have to have a little chat with Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who got engaged to Ross' cousin when Ross took too long to survive the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who killed Julia, Ross and Demelza's kid, with your germs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who thanked Demelza for nursing you and your child back to health by sleeping with her man and then pressuring him to dump her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some people in this narrative should be angry, and none of them are YOU.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So get over yourself!! Goodbye!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106346 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106348 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/veruca-salt-calming-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry y'all had to hear all of that. I just don't get her gripe with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ANYWAY...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Election Day has come! 17 rich white dudes get to decide whether Ross or Malfoy will reign supreme because that seems like a fair process. A bunch of them vote for Malfoy, until the dude Blondie plied with booze switches his vote to Ross. The remaining voters look at each other and think, \u003cem>Oh, we don't have to be evil anymore and all it took to realize that is one person doing the right thing? Sounds legit!\u003c/em> By a vote of nine to eight, Ross squeaks out a victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy and Elizabeth are SHOCKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/u-mad-oprah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rants about how prejudice and privilege are the reason he lost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/thats-funny-tell-another-one-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, Ross' victory lap gets interrupted by the news that Prison Bestie DIED! WTF! I thought he was just pretending! Or needed Lasik surgery! Noooo! Things are going to be so boring now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/the-room-throw-tv-out-window-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if Demelza's love affair partner dies, it's only fair that Ross' also dies, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106356\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/off-with-her-head-alice-wonderland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like me, Ross confesses that he thought Prison Bestie was exaggerating to get Demelza's attention. Doc says not to feel too bad because now Prison Bestie will be immortal and Ross will always look pale in comparison. Good luck with that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the random B-plot we all forgot was still going on: Dry Shampoo Girl lets Sam know that, despite what was said in the wrestling ring, she is still a virgin. Praise baby Jesus! But she doesn't want to be saved. Taking back that baby Jesus praise! She announces that she's about to move away forever, and then kisses him. Why did she go and do that?! You know how many Haily Marys he's gonna have to say now to repent for that? He hates kissing! Demelza and her brothers sure are cursed in the love department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of sex, like I said last week, PBS seems to edit out any sexy scenes, but for some reason, they left in this shot of Gross Goblin gobbling up a sex worker's foot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/foot-fetish-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106352\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/miss-jay-disgusted-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other Ewwwww news, Elizabeth is still very much alive and wants to make another baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I'm not rolling my eyes enough already, Morwenna's no-good sister Jennifer Lawrence crawls back from under her rock to tell Gross Goblin she was never pregnant last season and just said so to blackmail him. That's fine. He deserves it, but why do evil scammer things and not help your sister at all? Whatever, loser. You're dead to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ross and Demelza's weekly sit by the fire, where they hash out really intense emotional issues that could destroy their marriage at any moment. Ross wants to know the whole truth of her love affair with Prison Bestie. Demelza confesses that he did touch her heart (...and a few other things), and that she did love him, but in a different iambic pentameter way. She explains that she's not only sobbing for Prison Bestie, but also for Julia (thanks, Elizabeth!) and also for the broken unjust world in general. Ross can't bring back her dead lover or her dead daughter, but maybe he can bring back democracy! Coming soon to a television screen near you: Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I thought she was plotting some huge revenge plot against Gross Goblin the entirety of last season and it was all so she could get a bit of pocket change? Still pissed about it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>He almost got his eyes gouged out, failed to save Dry Shampoo Girl's soul and went to first base before marriage. A pretty rough week, all in all, so he deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong> I can pretend that this award is for influencing the election in a positive way or being a much-needed support for Demelza, but let's be real, it's for that iconic anti-baby speech. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Sorry about... well, everything. #ItGetsBetter. *looks around 2018* Actually, it doesn't, so here's a silver medal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Prison Bestie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>You came (*knowing look*), you saw (kind of), you conquered (the Cornwall poetry scene). We will never forget your unmatched horniness. Say hi to Agatha and Jago for us, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my previous recaps\u003c/a>. If you’re too busy or impatient for all of that, here’s the much-abbreviated gist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're in Cornwall, England during the 18th century. It's bleak. Meet our protagonist, Ross Poldark. After watching all his friends die in the American Revolutionary War and almost dying himself, he returns to find his father dead and his girlfriend, Elizabeth, married to his first cousin. I told y'all it was bleak.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross distracts himself from burning everything to the ground by helping poor people, randomly marrying one of them (his maid, Demelza), and \u003ca href=\"https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03273/poldark-scythe_3273801b.jpg\">scything shirtless\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Karma eventually swoops down and takes care of Ross' girlfriend-stealing cousin; he is murdered... *wait for it* ...by a random puddle! Seriously! Ross and Elizabeth quickly shrug off the death and proceed to bump uglies. Later, Elizabeth gets grumpy over how long it's taking Ross to abandon his wife and children for her, so she marries Ross' arch enemy, Malfoy, while pregnant with Ross' secret love child. What a mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of being treated like a disposable AOL free-trial CD, in the Season 3 finale, Demelza decided to give Ross a dose of his own medicine by getting it on with a barely post-pubescent cutie who's slowly going blind. It was hot and kind of sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this show also stars a very cute pug named Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, got all that? Great. Let’s do this…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> fans have waited 10 long months for a new episode. How have the writers decided to reward us for our patience?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A gratuitous shot of Ross swimming half-naked, that's how!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-swimming-shirtless-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Immediately followed by an even more gratuitous shot of a soaked Ross sauntering out of the surf!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106071\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-walking-ocean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, just in case you haven't gotten your eyeful yet, there's one final gift-wrapped shot of Ross' hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106072\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-breathing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Touché, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers. You have our attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hears Demelza's laugh behind him and turns to find her canoodling with Prison Bestie. After three seasons of misbehavior, it would serve Ross right to have their love affair rubbed in his face a little bit, but, alas, it's just a paranoid daydream. The real Demelza, flanked by their two kids, greets him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I saw you swim away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"No. I'm still here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And I.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They both smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know I went on and on about how much I wanted them to break up last season, but I'm still holding back an ugly sob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/burst-into-tears-new-girl-zooey-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Prison Bestie rereads some of the poems he's written for Demelza. My favorite one from last season:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What can I say? The guy has a way with words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prison Bestie suddenly grabs his forehead in pain. I'm pretty sure that's not how going blind works, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to (begrudgingly) check in on whatever evil mess Elizabeth and Malfoy are up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, let's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102172\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a>, the maid, decides to become the 19th-century equivalent of a junk folder by keeping a newly-arrived love letter from Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now showing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New character alert! His name is Jago, which just so happens to be the portmanteau couple name I use for \u003ca href=\"http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17800000/Jafar-Iago-jafar-17878433-1267-763.jpg\">Jafar and Iago\u003c/a> from \u003cem>Aladdin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106081\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-aladdin.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jago gets everyone riled up about merchants exporting grain to Portugal instead of feeding the hungry people at home, and leads a protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>What do we want?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bread and maybe even some breakfast cereal that comes with a free toy in the box! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>When do we want it? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Um, preferably before we all die of starvation!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106082\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kris-jenner-give-me-the-fucking-bread-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the merchants don't feel like sharing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/abu-aladdin-bread-eating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"297\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The starving mob is mighty hangry (we've all been there), so a big brawl erupts. A guard strikes a woman really hard. Before I can even wish for his death, the guard is wrestled to the ground, smacks his head and croaks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nicki-minaj-shrug-gif-who-cares-oh-well.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza finds Prison Bestie's mail! It's another horny poem!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Girl, you know it feels real good\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>We can do it 'til we both wake up\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>I wanna sex you up\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, those are actually lyrics from a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO6BtpIzIiM\">Color Me Badd song\u003c/a>, but it's close enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Public Service Announcement:\u003c/strong> Did you know that PBS edits out entire scenes from the American broadcast of this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-58899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/01/How-Rude-Stephanie-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, the Brits got to see Gross Goblin spying on Morwenna's feet through a peephole while touching himself!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/michelle-tanner-feet-gross-scream.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, typing that out made me realize PBS is shielding us from having nightmares. Thanks for looking out, y'all! Carry on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some rich white dudes are very miffed about the grain throwdown. If there wasn't a gross power disparity between the classes, one of the starving poor people could tell them to get over it with this advice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-dont-you-have-a-piece-of-bread-calm-down-rhobh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, the rich white dudes draw up charges against all the paupers who were present at the smackdown, including Jago and Demelza's brothers, Drake and Sam. Ross offers to round them all up himself (lest we forget, one mere episode ago, he threatened to shoot all of his friends in the street, so they're used to his class traitor ways by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this season premiere is on steroids and generally doing the most, Jago, Drake and Sam are quickly put on trial and sentenced to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races home and decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>this is not the right time to tell Demelza her brothers are about to be hanged.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>this \u003cem>is\u003c/em> the right time to casually chat about whether polyamory is possible.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do you think there's room in a woman's heart for two men?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Or two women in a man's?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's right, D! Don't let him turn things around on you just cause you mercy F'd a cutie with bad eyes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to the public hanging with no apparent plan. But before we get to the wildly unnecessary capital punishment, can we pause to appreciate this woman fully checking out Ross' butt?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless her heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to all the injustice. Jago, Sam and Drake are marched to their nooses, and Ross decides his only option is to go full-on nuclear disgruntled Apple store customer:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiyMx7rDKAM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unlike the woman in the clip above, Ross actually has a point, inspiring one of the judges to announce that he's had a change of heart: \u003cem>I'll be 66.6% reasonable! Drake and Sam can live! But let's still kill Jago 'cause what kind of name is Jago?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The executioner doesn't waste any time. Rest in power, Jago! We hardly knew ye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-neck-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is over at Prison Bestie's house, trying to give him the It's Not You, It's Me (And Also Your Bad Poetry) talk. Not taking the hint, Prison Bestie shares an extended remix of his horny poem. Demelza doesn't know what to make of the new lines because she just learned to read and write a few years ago, so he gives her the CliffsNotes version: Have sex with me again or I will kill myself. Romantic, and not at all alarming!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chrissy-tiegan-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"446\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All right, fine, let's check in with Elizabeth. She's still drinking liquid Xanax (whatever helps you forget all the evil stuff you've done!), she's thinking about having another kid (maybe this one will actually be related to the guy she's married to this time!) and she's planning on moving away from Cornwall for good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/need-help-packing-beat-it-queen-drag-race-bianca-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's out of the way, let's cleanse our palates with a character we all love and adore. HORACE THE PUG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106095 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-160x116.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-768x559.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1020x743.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1200x874.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1920x1398.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1180x859.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-960x699.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-240x175.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-375x273.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-520x379.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106096 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-768x547.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1200x854.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1920x1367.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1180x840.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-960x684.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-240x171.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-375x267.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-520x370.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106097 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-160x172.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-768x828.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1020x1099.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1114x1200.jpg 1114w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1180x1272.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-960x1034.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-240x259.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-375x404.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-520x560.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace.jpg 1392w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Has Horace been working out? He looks good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, something other than Horace's natural beauty is happening in this scene. Blondie and Doc are talking about reproducing. Horace barks wildly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am fluent in Horace, so I'll translate: \u003cem>Kids?! I object! What am I, chopped liver?! (Mmmm, chopped liver.) But for real, I don't need some rugrats getting jam all over my gorgeous coat and tugging at my ears and stuff. Ring the alarm, I've been doing this too long, and I'll be damned if I see another child \u003c/em>\u003cem>on your arm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace makes a convincing case.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106092\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"572\" height=\"572\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg 572w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 572px) 100vw, 572px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Am I doing too much?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will I stop?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-160x187.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-240x280.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-375x438.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-520x607.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that I got that out of my system, let's get back to the action. At chez Poldark, Ross and Demelza are in couples therapy, minus the therapist. After a calm and frank conversation about their respective lovers, Ross admits he has taken Demelza for granted (ya think?!) and says he now realizes she is indispensable, irreplaceable and the better part of him (again, ya think?!?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But has this epiphany arrived too late to save their marriage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza cuddles up to Ross by the fire and says she hopes not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/crying-fan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>SCRAM!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug. \u003c/strong>I can't wait to vote for him in 2020.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Random Lady at the Hanging. \u003c/strong>Innocent men are about to die and she's got man buns on the brain? I respect that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>Congrats are in order! He didn't treat his wife like crap for one whole episode! Keep it up! Or else.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who knew bedding (or in this case, sand dune-ing) a younger man was all she needed to do to access Ross' love? She shall heretofore be known as the patron saint of having one's cake and eating it too. #Goals!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my previous recaps\u003c/a>. If you’re too busy or impatient for all of that, here’s the much-abbreviated gist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're in Cornwall, England during the 18th century. It's bleak. Meet our protagonist, Ross Poldark. After watching all his friends die in the American Revolutionary War and almost dying himself, he returns to find his father dead and his girlfriend, Elizabeth, married to his first cousin. I told y'all it was bleak.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross distracts himself from burning everything to the ground by helping poor people, randomly marrying one of them (his maid, Demelza), and \u003ca href=\"https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03273/poldark-scythe_3273801b.jpg\">scything shirtless\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Karma eventually swoops down and takes care of Ross' girlfriend-stealing cousin; he is murdered... *wait for it* ...by a random puddle! Seriously! Ross and Elizabeth quickly shrug off the death and proceed to bump uglies. Later, Elizabeth gets grumpy over how long it's taking Ross to abandon his wife and children for her, so she marries Ross' arch enemy, Malfoy, while pregnant with Ross' secret love child. What a mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of being treated like a disposable AOL free-trial CD, in the Season 3 finale, Demelza decided to give Ross a dose of his own medicine by getting it on with a barely post-pubescent cutie who's slowly going blind. It was hot and kind of sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this show also stars a very cute pug named Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, got all that? Great. Let’s do this…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> fans have waited 10 long months for a new episode. How have the writers decided to reward us for our patience?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A gratuitous shot of Ross swimming half-naked, that's how!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-swimming-shirtless-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Immediately followed by an even more gratuitous shot of a soaked Ross sauntering out of the surf!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106071\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-walking-ocean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, just in case you haven't gotten your eyeful yet, there's one final gift-wrapped shot of Ross' hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106072\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-breathing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Touché, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers. You have our attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hears Demelza's laugh behind him and turns to find her canoodling with Prison Bestie. After three seasons of misbehavior, it would serve Ross right to have their love affair rubbed in his face a little bit, but, alas, it's just a paranoid daydream. The real Demelza, flanked by their two kids, greets him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I saw you swim away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"No. I'm still here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And I.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They both smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know I went on and on about how much I wanted them to break up last season, but I'm still holding back an ugly sob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/burst-into-tears-new-girl-zooey-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Prison Bestie rereads some of the poems he's written for Demelza. My favorite one from last season:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What can I say? The guy has a way with words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prison Bestie suddenly grabs his forehead in pain. I'm pretty sure that's not how going blind works, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to (begrudgingly) check in on whatever evil mess Elizabeth and Malfoy are up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, let's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102172\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a>, the maid, decides to become the 19th-century equivalent of a junk folder by keeping a newly-arrived love letter from Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now showing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New character alert! His name is Jago, which just so happens to be the portmanteau couple name I use for \u003ca href=\"http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17800000/Jafar-Iago-jafar-17878433-1267-763.jpg\">Jafar and Iago\u003c/a> from \u003cem>Aladdin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106081\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-aladdin.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jago gets everyone riled up about merchants exporting grain to Portugal instead of feeding the hungry people at home, and leads a protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>What do we want?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bread and maybe even some breakfast cereal that comes with a free toy in the box! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>When do we want it? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Um, preferably before we all die of starvation!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106082\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kris-jenner-give-me-the-fucking-bread-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the merchants don't feel like sharing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/abu-aladdin-bread-eating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"297\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The starving mob is mighty hangry (we've all been there), so a big brawl erupts. A guard strikes a woman really hard. Before I can even wish for his death, the guard is wrestled to the ground, smacks his head and croaks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nicki-minaj-shrug-gif-who-cares-oh-well.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza finds Prison Bestie's mail! It's another horny poem!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Girl, you know it feels real good\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>We can do it 'til we both wake up\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>I wanna sex you up\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, those are actually lyrics from a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO6BtpIzIiM\">Color Me Badd song\u003c/a>, but it's close enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Public Service Announcement:\u003c/strong> Did you know that PBS edits out entire scenes from the American broadcast of this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-58899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/01/How-Rude-Stephanie-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, the Brits got to see Gross Goblin spying on Morwenna's feet through a peephole while touching himself!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/michelle-tanner-feet-gross-scream.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, typing that out made me realize PBS is shielding us from having nightmares. Thanks for looking out, y'all! Carry on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some rich white dudes are very miffed about the grain throwdown. If there wasn't a gross power disparity between the classes, one of the starving poor people could tell them to get over it with this advice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-dont-you-have-a-piece-of-bread-calm-down-rhobh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, the rich white dudes draw up charges against all the paupers who were present at the smackdown, including Jago and Demelza's brothers, Drake and Sam. Ross offers to round them all up himself (lest we forget, one mere episode ago, he threatened to shoot all of his friends in the street, so they're used to his class traitor ways by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this season premiere is on steroids and generally doing the most, Jago, Drake and Sam are quickly put on trial and sentenced to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races home and decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>this is not the right time to tell Demelza her brothers are about to be hanged.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>this \u003cem>is\u003c/em> the right time to casually chat about whether polyamory is possible.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do you think there's room in a woman's heart for two men?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Or two women in a man's?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's right, D! Don't let him turn things around on you just cause you mercy F'd a cutie with bad eyes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to the public hanging with no apparent plan. But before we get to the wildly unnecessary capital punishment, can we pause to appreciate this woman fully checking out Ross' butt?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless her heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to all the injustice. Jago, Sam and Drake are marched to their nooses, and Ross decides his only option is to go full-on nuclear disgruntled Apple store customer:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/jiyMx7rDKAM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/jiyMx7rDKAM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Unlike the woman in the clip above, Ross actually has a point, inspiring one of the judges to announce that he's had a change of heart: \u003cem>I'll be 66.6% reasonable! Drake and Sam can live! But let's still kill Jago 'cause what kind of name is Jago?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The executioner doesn't waste any time. Rest in power, Jago! We hardly knew ye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-neck-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is over at Prison Bestie's house, trying to give him the It's Not You, It's Me (And Also Your Bad Poetry) talk. Not taking the hint, Prison Bestie shares an extended remix of his horny poem. Demelza doesn't know what to make of the new lines because she just learned to read and write a few years ago, so he gives her the CliffsNotes version: Have sex with me again or I will kill myself. Romantic, and not at all alarming!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chrissy-tiegan-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"446\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All right, fine, let's check in with Elizabeth. She's still drinking liquid Xanax (whatever helps you forget all the evil stuff you've done!), she's thinking about having another kid (maybe this one will actually be related to the guy she's married to this time!) and she's planning on moving away from Cornwall for good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/need-help-packing-beat-it-queen-drag-race-bianca-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's out of the way, let's cleanse our palates with a character we all love and adore. HORACE THE PUG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106095 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-160x116.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-768x559.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1020x743.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1200x874.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1920x1398.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1180x859.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-960x699.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-240x175.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-375x273.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-520x379.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106096 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-768x547.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1200x854.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1920x1367.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1180x840.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-960x684.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-240x171.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-375x267.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-520x370.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106097 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-160x172.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-768x828.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1020x1099.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1114x1200.jpg 1114w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1180x1272.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-960x1034.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-240x259.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-375x404.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-520x560.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace.jpg 1392w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Has Horace been working out? He looks good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, something other than Horace's natural beauty is happening in this scene. Blondie and Doc are talking about reproducing. Horace barks wildly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am fluent in Horace, so I'll translate: \u003cem>Kids?! I object! What am I, chopped liver?! (Mmmm, chopped liver.) But for real, I don't need some rugrats getting jam all over my gorgeous coat and tugging at my ears and stuff. Ring the alarm, I've been doing this too long, and I'll be damned if I see another child \u003c/em>\u003cem>on your arm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace makes a convincing case.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106092\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"572\" height=\"572\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg 572w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 572px) 100vw, 572px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Am I doing too much?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will I stop?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-160x187.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-240x280.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-375x438.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-520x607.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that I got that out of my system, let's get back to the action. At chez Poldark, Ross and Demelza are in couples therapy, minus the therapist. After a calm and frank conversation about their respective lovers, Ross admits he has taken Demelza for granted (ya think?!) and says he now realizes she is indispensable, irreplaceable and the better part of him (again, ya think?!?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But has this epiphany arrived too late to save their marriage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza cuddles up to Ross by the fire and says she hopes not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/crying-fan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>SCRAM!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug. \u003c/strong>I can't wait to vote for him in 2020.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Random Lady at the Hanging. \u003c/strong>Innocent men are about to die and she's got man buns on the brain? I respect that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>Congrats are in order! He didn't treat his wife like crap for one whole episode! Keep it up! Or else.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who knew bedding (or in this case, sand dune-ing) a younger man was all she needed to do to access Ross' love? She shall heretofore be known as the patron saint of having one's cake and eating it too. #Goals!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "I'm sorry, the old Demelza can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross trademarked the title of World’s Most Neglectful Husband, Demelza started considering the idea of having sex with someone who doesn’t just roll over after and immediately resume talking about saving poor people, and, in spectacular drama queen fashion, Agatha spilled the beans about Valentine’s paternity and then promptly croaked. Will Ross apologize for everything (i.e. cheating, having a kid with his ex, years of being emotionally unavailable, cutting his hair too short last season, etc.) and encourage Demelza to write a \u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em>-style diss album about him? Will Demelza get her groove back with Prison Bestie? Will Agatha’s ghost put toads in Malfoy’s pants or just flat-out murder him? (I’m down for either, honestly.) Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Ross and Demelza stand over Agatha’s mud grave, wondering the same things we viewers are still asking ourselves:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul class=\"ul1\">\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why couldn’t someone unfunny have died instead?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why couldn’t literally anyone else have died instead?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Is it wrong that I’m okay with using blood magic to bring her back?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why didn’t Agatha’s tarot cards warn her to hide that family Bible so she could keep randomly lying about her age and live to twerk at her birthday bash?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Would it be tacky to inscribe “It’s my party, and I’ll die if I want to” on Agatha’s tombstone?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Across town, Malfoy writes another entry about Valentine in his burn book, while Elizabeth works up a sweat pretending not to know why he started despising her baby all of a sudden. Malfoy announces that he will move to London, if he is elected to Parliament. In that case, count me in on canvassing and going door-to-door for his campaign. Make Cornwall Great (and Malfoy-Less) Again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bye-bye-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bye-bye-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Blondie and Doc’s house, OMG HORACE THE PUG IS BACK, MORE BEAUTIFUL AND BODY-POSITIVE THAN EVER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1020x569.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1920x1072.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-520x290.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">My mouth literally fell open upon the sight of his bodaciousness. (Yes, I realize I have an unhealthy obsession with this animal, and no, I don’t want help.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97343\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Upon seeing Malfoy, Horace sends a \u003cem>Who's this schmuck?\u003c/em> look his way, before being carried out of the room like the regal prince he is. The camera unfortunately doesn’t follow him, but stays with Malfoy, who quizzes Doc on why Valentine was born with nails, smooth skin, and cool hair like Ross’ if he was allegedly premature. Doc considers channeling Maury and screaming \"YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!\" in Malfoy’s stupid, punchable face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/chandler-you-are-not-the-father-maury-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/chandler-you-are-not-the-father-maury-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"363\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">But he plays dumb instead because he’s had enough drama in his life for one year. Snacking on macarons > French firing squads and baby daddy drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">At the edge of a cliff, Demelza stares at the portrait Prison Bestie sketched of her. To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question. Under normal circumstances, I’d advise against it, but, after watching Ross treat Demelza like steaming garbage for three seasons, I say, go for it! Prison Bestie is super hot in a I-just-got-my-driver’s-license kind of way. He’ll do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">But Demelza doesn’t receive my telepathic encouragement because she crumples up the sketch and throws it off the cliff. Just ‘cause your husband makes you miserable doesn’t mean you should litter!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dont-litter-captain-planet-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dont-litter-captain-planet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc advises Gross Goblin to cool it on the traumatizing-Morwenna-with-kinky-sex front if he wants to avoid crushing his unborn baby. Gross Goblin is outraged. He’s \u003ca href=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_majx8h7nRF1qal3lwo1_400.gif\">a Samantha\u003c/a>! He needs sexual healing! But then he remembers the feet of Morwenna’s sister, Jennifer Lawrence, and vows to slobber over them soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-puke-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97346\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">When Demelza returns home from trashing the planet, Prison Bestie greets her with flowers. She makes this face, which translates to: I wanna sex you up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1020x575.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"361\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1020x575.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-800x451.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-768x433.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1920x1082.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1180x665.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-960x541.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-375x211.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-520x293.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Ross eventually interrupts their flirty hang. In a nothing-romantic-to-see-here maneuver, Demelza says, “Look! Prison Bestie brought me a plant!” Nice try, Demelza. What's next? \"Prison Bestie was just keeping my lips warm with his mouth\"?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">After Prison Bestie leaves because it’s awkward, Ross lectures Demelza on having common sense and not cheating. Demelza quotes her favorite line from \u003cem>Bridesmaids\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-f_ckin-kidding-me.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-f_ckin-kidding-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a> (the maid) performs a cheer advocating for Demelza to get it on with Prison Bestie. Gimme an A, gimme a D, gimme a U, L, T, E, R, Y! What does that spell? KARMA!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at the Heartbreak Hotel, Drake is still keeping busy hammering hot metal or whatever (he has a lot of time on his hands now that he doesn't have to spend all of his days randomly letting toads loose for Morwenna). Sam pauses his 5293rd reread of the Bible to recommend that Drake make baby Jesus really happy by getting married. Bone Maraca Pirate’s daughter shows up out of nowhere to preach some feminist Gospel: Why get married, just for a husband to control and ignore you, when you could stay single and do whatever you want?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42259\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"310\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Demelza insists marriage doesn’t have to suck, if you choose the right guy. Move over, Cleopatra. There's a new Queen of Denial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Fast forward to Election Day. Ross and Demelza think Malfoy is way too evil and unqualified to have a chance at winning his bid for Parliament. They go to the pub to celebrate as the results come in. But things don’t go their way. Malfoy manages to win somehow. Everything seems wrong and topsy-turvy. They flip through the stages of grief (minus the acceptance part) a thousand times in an hour, before sticking with desperate depression. Sound familiar to anyone?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hillary-clinton-yup.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hillary-clinton-yup.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-cry-yes-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97351\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-cry-yes-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"154\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Across town, Morwenna goes into labor. Gross Goblin prays out loud for her to die in childbirth so he can get to know her sister’s toes. He is disappointed when both wife and son survive. Can Jennifer Lawrence put poison in his food or cut off his tongue or whatever she's plotting already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Back at the sad election party, Malfoy strolls in to gloat. It isn’t long before he and Ross are hurling insults. Malfoy says he doesn’t give a you-know-what about securing a proper headstone for Agatha (did he not like my inscription idea?), so Ross offers to talk to Elizabeth about it; she’s a former Poldark, after all, and so is her son… Geoffrey Charles. Malfoy screams, “DAMN YOU, ROSS! DAMN YOUR BLOOD!” Fight, fight, fight! Put Malfoy’s head in the fireplace like that one time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kill-him-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97353\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kill-him-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"171\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Alas, calmer heads prevail, and Ross and Demelza leave the bar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/harry-potter-ron-wtf-come-on-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/harry-potter-ron-wtf-come-on-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">By the time Malfoy gets home, Elizabeth is already researching which hipster neighborhood in London she wants to live in. Malfoy tells her that she won’t be moving, which disappoints her for some reason. He hates you and your kids, and just bullied an old lady to death. A life without having to cozy up to Voldemort Jr. everyday? Consider it a win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Gross Goblin’s house, Morwenna looks down at her new baby and thinks, \u003cem>Eww\u003c/em>. Meanwhile, in another room, Gross Goblin peeps through a crack in the wall at Jennifer Lawrence soaping up her feet in the bath. He rushes to Morwenna's bed and rips the covers off of her. Despite Doc’s advice to practice abstinence while Morwenna heals, Gross Goblin demands that she close her eyes and take it. She screams no repeatedly. I’ve got no jokes for this scene. Can we dial down all this rape, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers? Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/do-not-want-gif-puppy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/do-not-want-gif-puppy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"384\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The next day, Morwenna, who’s been put through enough, has to sit through tea with Elizabeth, the architect of her misfortune. “I confess, cousin, I’d hoped to see you stronger,” Elizabeth says. The nerve! Why hasn't Agatha's ghost smashed a pie in her face yet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Proving that maybe she’s only 99.9% evil, Elizabeth admonishes Gross Goblin for not letting Morwenna see a doctor and calls for Doc, who comes over to repeat: \u003cem>Dude! Cool it with all the raping please!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross runs into Elizabeth at the cemetery. They consider having the exchange most exes have:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #1:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh. Hey. How are you? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #2:\u003c/strong> \u003ci>Fine.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #1: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Same.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #2:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Okay, bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Ross and Elizabeth decide to messily hash out all of their problems instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>We dated so long ago. Why does Malfoy still care so much?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, are you dumb? You and I have a secret love child together!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>WHAT?!? For some reason, I've never once considered that possibility, despite it being so plainly obvious to anyone with a brain!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someone must have told him, but who?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha's Ghost:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Okay, wow, you two are equally dumb and belong together. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Anyway, no biggie! Just lie to Malfoy. That's what I always do with my wife.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Perfect, not-at-all-deceitful plan! What could go wrong?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Ross cradles Elizabeth's face with both hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97366\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And kisses her on her forehead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop-it-get-some-help-michael-jordan-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97367\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop-it-get-some-help-michael-jordan-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"358\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And on her upper cheek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/nope-no-no.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97365\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/nope-no-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And on her lower cheek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finally on her mouth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/4739279-2833597-6313173573-tumbl.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97363\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/4739279-2833597-6313173573-tumbl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"148\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bad-dog-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"298\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Pigpen sees the whole thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross opens up to Demelza. (There's a sentence that's never appeared in these recaps.) He admits to loving Elizabeth (!) and kissing her (!!!), but assures Demelza that it's not romantic love anymore, and that he's changed for the better, thanks to being married to her. Woah. What just happened? Ross taking accountability, and being honest and emotionally vulnerable? Am I watching the right show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/winona-weird-faces.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97374\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/winona-weird-faces.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"396\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boooo, it was just a dream sequence! In reality, Ross is rude to Demelza for no reason and barks at her to stop asking him questions. Sounds about right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a house party later that day, Prison Bestie is done with talking in sexy riddles. He goes right up to Demelza and says he loves her more than life. Okay, dude, cool your jets, you've hung out like three times.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He goes on: \"It is not perfection I seek. 'Tis flesh. And blood.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horny-gif-jersey-shore.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97375\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horny-gif-jersey-shore.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a separate room, Ross argues with Prison Bestie's uncle over whether poor people are human or not, but cuts the debate short by saying: \"I think I must rejoin my wife. She will think I've abandoned her.\" TOO LATE, ROSS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns to the party to find Demelza serenading Prison Bestie with a song about how much they want to have sex with each other, but maybe shouldn't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam HQ, Morwenna receives a package from Drake. I hope it's a toad! Oh, it's a necklace of her and her baby. That works too, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the other room, Jennifer Lawrence sits on Gross Goblin's lap and rips open her top. Wait, what?? This whole time, she hasn't been hatching some revenge scheme, but instead just wanted a piece of that toe-gobbling action?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/Taylor-Swift-Confused-look.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-65965\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/Taylor-Swift-Confused-look.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross continues lying about what happened at the cemetery, while demanding that Demelza come clean about having the hots for Prison Bestie. Demelza doesn't deny it and asks for an open relationship.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pearl-clutch-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pearl-clutch-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Ross. \u003c/strong>You made your bed. Now sleep in it... alone!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The City of London. \u003c/strong>Thanks for taking Malfoy off our hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Garrick the Dog. \u003c/strong>Some of you are annoyed I only ever mention Horace the Pug. (Like Prison Bestie, I can't help who I fall in love with!) So here's a shiny little shout-out to Garrick for being cute in his own way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Prison Bestie. \u003c/strong>Hat tip for being bold and recently making it through puberty without ever getting a single zit.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza.\u003c/strong> Get it, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Gimme an A, gimme a D, gimme a U, L, T, E, R, Y! What does that spell? KARMA.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross trademarked the title of World’s Most Neglectful Husband, Demelza started considering the idea of having sex with someone who doesn’t just roll over after and immediately resume talking about saving poor people, and, in spectacular drama queen fashion, Agatha spilled the beans about Valentine’s paternity and then promptly croaked. Will Ross apologize for everything (i.e. cheating, having a kid with his ex, years of being emotionally unavailable, cutting his hair too short last season, etc.) and encourage Demelza to write a \u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em>-style diss album about him? Will Demelza get her groove back with Prison Bestie? Will Agatha’s ghost put toads in Malfoy’s pants or just flat-out murder him? (I’m down for either, honestly.) Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Ross and Demelza stand over Agatha’s mud grave, wondering the same things we viewers are still asking ourselves:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul class=\"ul1\">\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why couldn’t someone unfunny have died instead?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why couldn’t literally anyone else have died instead?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Is it wrong that I’m okay with using blood magic to bring her back?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Why didn’t Agatha’s tarot cards warn her to hide that family Bible so she could keep randomly lying about her age and live to twerk at her birthday bash?\u003c/li>\n\u003cli class=\"li1\">Would it be tacky to inscribe “It’s my party, and I’ll die if I want to” on Agatha’s tombstone?\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Across town, Malfoy writes another entry about Valentine in his burn book, while Elizabeth works up a sweat pretending not to know why he started despising her baby all of a sudden. Malfoy announces that he will move to London, if he is elected to Parliament. In that case, count me in on canvassing and going door-to-door for his campaign. Make Cornwall Great (and Malfoy-Less) Again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bye-bye-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bye-bye-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Blondie and Doc’s house, OMG HORACE THE PUG IS BACK, MORE BEAUTIFUL AND BODY-POSITIVE THAN EVER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1020x569.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1920x1072.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-heart-poldark-520x290.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">My mouth literally fell open upon the sight of his bodaciousness. (Yes, I realize I have an unhealthy obsession with this animal, and no, I don’t want help.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97343\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horace-poldark-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Upon seeing Malfoy, Horace sends a \u003cem>Who's this schmuck?\u003c/em> look his way, before being carried out of the room like the regal prince he is. The camera unfortunately doesn’t follow him, but stays with Malfoy, who quizzes Doc on why Valentine was born with nails, smooth skin, and cool hair like Ross’ if he was allegedly premature. Doc considers channeling Maury and screaming \"YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!\" in Malfoy’s stupid, punchable face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/chandler-you-are-not-the-father-maury-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/chandler-you-are-not-the-father-maury-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"363\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">But he plays dumb instead because he’s had enough drama in his life for one year. Snacking on macarons > French firing squads and baby daddy drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">At the edge of a cliff, Demelza stares at the portrait Prison Bestie sketched of her. To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question. Under normal circumstances, I’d advise against it, but, after watching Ross treat Demelza like steaming garbage for three seasons, I say, go for it! Prison Bestie is super hot in a I-just-got-my-driver’s-license kind of way. He’ll do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">But Demelza doesn’t receive my telepathic encouragement because she crumples up the sketch and throws it off the cliff. Just ‘cause your husband makes you miserable doesn’t mean you should litter!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dont-litter-captain-planet-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dont-litter-captain-planet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc advises Gross Goblin to cool it on the traumatizing-Morwenna-with-kinky-sex front if he wants to avoid crushing his unborn baby. Gross Goblin is outraged. He’s \u003ca href=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_majx8h7nRF1qal3lwo1_400.gif\">a Samantha\u003c/a>! He needs sexual healing! But then he remembers the feet of Morwenna’s sister, Jennifer Lawrence, and vows to slobber over them soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-puke-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97346\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">When Demelza returns home from trashing the planet, Prison Bestie greets her with flowers. She makes this face, which translates to: I wanna sex you up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1020x575.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"361\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1020x575.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-800x451.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-768x433.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1920x1082.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-1180x665.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-960x541.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-375x211.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-smile-poldark-520x293.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Ross eventually interrupts their flirty hang. In a nothing-romantic-to-see-here maneuver, Demelza says, “Look! Prison Bestie brought me a plant!” Nice try, Demelza. What's next? \"Prison Bestie was just keeping my lips warm with his mouth\"?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">After Prison Bestie leaves because it’s awkward, Ross lectures Demelza on having common sense and not cheating. Demelza quotes her favorite line from \u003cem>Bridesmaids\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-f_ckin-kidding-me.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bridesmaids-f_ckin-kidding-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a> (the maid) performs a cheer advocating for Demelza to get it on with Prison Bestie. Gimme an A, gimme a D, gimme a U, L, T, E, R, Y! What does that spell? KARMA!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at the Heartbreak Hotel, Drake is still keeping busy hammering hot metal or whatever (he has a lot of time on his hands now that he doesn't have to spend all of his days randomly letting toads loose for Morwenna). Sam pauses his 5293rd reread of the Bible to recommend that Drake make baby Jesus really happy by getting married. Bone Maraca Pirate’s daughter shows up out of nowhere to preach some feminist Gospel: Why get married, just for a husband to control and ignore you, when you could stay single and do whatever you want?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42259\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"310\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Demelza insists marriage doesn’t have to suck, if you choose the right guy. Move over, Cleopatra. There's a new Queen of Denial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Fast forward to Election Day. Ross and Demelza think Malfoy is way too evil and unqualified to have a chance at winning his bid for Parliament. They go to the pub to celebrate as the results come in. But things don’t go their way. Malfoy manages to win somehow. Everything seems wrong and topsy-turvy. They flip through the stages of grief (minus the acceptance part) a thousand times in an hour, before sticking with desperate depression. Sound familiar to anyone?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hillary-clinton-yup.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hillary-clinton-yup.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-cry-yes-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97351\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-cry-yes-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"154\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Across town, Morwenna goes into labor. Gross Goblin prays out loud for her to die in childbirth so he can get to know her sister’s toes. He is disappointed when both wife and son survive. Can Jennifer Lawrence put poison in his food or cut off his tongue or whatever she's plotting already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Back at the sad election party, Malfoy strolls in to gloat. It isn’t long before he and Ross are hurling insults. Malfoy says he doesn’t give a you-know-what about securing a proper headstone for Agatha (did he not like my inscription idea?), so Ross offers to talk to Elizabeth about it; she’s a former Poldark, after all, and so is her son… Geoffrey Charles. Malfoy screams, “DAMN YOU, ROSS! DAMN YOUR BLOOD!” Fight, fight, fight! Put Malfoy’s head in the fireplace like that one time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kill-him-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97353\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kill-him-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"171\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Alas, calmer heads prevail, and Ross and Demelza leave the bar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/harry-potter-ron-wtf-come-on-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/harry-potter-ron-wtf-come-on-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">By the time Malfoy gets home, Elizabeth is already researching which hipster neighborhood in London she wants to live in. Malfoy tells her that she won’t be moving, which disappoints her for some reason. He hates you and your kids, and just bullied an old lady to death. A life without having to cozy up to Voldemort Jr. everyday? Consider it a win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Over at Gross Goblin’s house, Morwenna looks down at her new baby and thinks, \u003cem>Eww\u003c/em>. Meanwhile, in another room, Gross Goblin peeps through a crack in the wall at Jennifer Lawrence soaping up her feet in the bath. He rushes to Morwenna's bed and rips the covers off of her. Despite Doc’s advice to practice abstinence while Morwenna heals, Gross Goblin demands that she close her eyes and take it. She screams no repeatedly. I’ve got no jokes for this scene. Can we dial down all this rape, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers? Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/do-not-want-gif-puppy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/do-not-want-gif-puppy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"384\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The next day, Morwenna, who’s been put through enough, has to sit through tea with Elizabeth, the architect of her misfortune. “I confess, cousin, I’d hoped to see you stronger,” Elizabeth says. The nerve! Why hasn't Agatha's ghost smashed a pie in her face yet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Proving that maybe she’s only 99.9% evil, Elizabeth admonishes Gross Goblin for not letting Morwenna see a doctor and calls for Doc, who comes over to repeat: \u003cem>Dude! Cool it with all the raping please!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross runs into Elizabeth at the cemetery. They consider having the exchange most exes have:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #1:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh. Hey. How are you? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #2:\u003c/strong> \u003ci>Fine.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #1: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Same.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ex #2:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Okay, bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Ross and Elizabeth decide to messily hash out all of their problems instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>We dated so long ago. Why does Malfoy still care so much?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, are you dumb? You and I have a secret love child together!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>WHAT?!? For some reason, I've never once considered that possibility, despite it being so plainly obvious to anyone with a brain!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someone must have told him, but who?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha's Ghost:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Okay, wow, you two are equally dumb and belong together. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Anyway, no biggie! Just lie to Malfoy. That's what I always do with my wife.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Perfect, not-at-all-deceitful plan! What could go wrong?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Ross cradles Elizabeth's face with both hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97366\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And kisses her on her forehead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop-it-get-some-help-michael-jordan-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97367\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/stop-it-get-some-help-michael-jordan-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"358\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And on her upper cheek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/nope-no-no.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97365\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/nope-no-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And on her lower cheek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And finally on her mouth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/4739279-2833597-6313173573-tumbl.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97363\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/4739279-2833597-6313173573-tumbl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"148\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bad-dog-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"298\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Pigpen sees the whole thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross opens up to Demelza. (There's a sentence that's never appeared in these recaps.) He admits to loving Elizabeth (!) and kissing her (!!!), but assures Demelza that it's not romantic love anymore, and that he's changed for the better, thanks to being married to her. Woah. What just happened? Ross taking accountability, and being honest and emotionally vulnerable? Am I watching the right show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/winona-weird-faces.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97374\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/winona-weird-faces.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"396\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boooo, it was just a dream sequence! In reality, Ross is rude to Demelza for no reason and barks at her to stop asking him questions. Sounds about right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a house party later that day, Prison Bestie is done with talking in sexy riddles. He goes right up to Demelza and says he loves her more than life. Okay, dude, cool your jets, you've hung out like three times.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He goes on: \"It is not perfection I seek. 'Tis flesh. And blood.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horny-gif-jersey-shore.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97375\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/horny-gif-jersey-shore.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a separate room, Ross argues with Prison Bestie's uncle over whether poor people are human or not, but cuts the debate short by saying: \"I think I must rejoin my wife. She will think I've abandoned her.\" TOO LATE, ROSS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns to the party to find Demelza serenading Prison Bestie with a song about how much they want to have sex with each other, but maybe shouldn't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam HQ, Morwenna receives a package from Drake. I hope it's a toad! Oh, it's a necklace of her and her baby. That works too, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the other room, Jennifer Lawrence sits on Gross Goblin's lap and rips open her top. Wait, what?? This whole time, she hasn't been hatching some revenge scheme, but instead just wanted a piece of that toe-gobbling action?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/Taylor-Swift-Confused-look.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-65965\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/Taylor-Swift-Confused-look.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross continues lying about what happened at the cemetery, while demanding that Demelza come clean about having the hots for Prison Bestie. Demelza doesn't deny it and asks for an open relationship.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pearl-clutch-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pearl-clutch-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Ross. \u003c/strong>You made your bed. Now sleep in it... alone!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The City of London. \u003c/strong>Thanks for taking Malfoy off our hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Garrick the Dog. \u003c/strong>Some of you are annoyed I only ever mention Horace the Pug. (Like Prison Bestie, I can't help who I fall in love with!) So here's a shiny little shout-out to Garrick for being cute in his own way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Prison Bestie. \u003c/strong>Hat tip for being bold and recently making it through puberty without ever getting a single zit.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza.\u003c/strong> Get it, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Drake's love of unfunny toad pranks almost got him killed, Morwenna was forced into marrying a toe-gobbling goblin, and Doc waged a crusade against macarons and sex with his wife. Will Drake get shot at or imprisoned again, cementing his reputation as the Suge Knight of 18th-century Cornwall? Will Morwenna let her toe nails grow really long as a defense mechanism against her new husband's foot fetish? Will Doc's PTSD stop hogging all the screen-time so we can get a Horace the Pug storyline or two? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We were all expecting a mournful opening scene, in the wake of Morwenna and Gross Goblin's wedding, but instead Ross, Demelza, and all of their friends are twerking and dabbing up a storm to sick fiddle jams around a raging fire. Drake looks around and has a lot of feelings about everyone not giving a single you-know-what about his heartbreak. Here's a sampler platter of what's going on inside his brain right now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/im-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97225\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/im-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"450\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/really-insensitive-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97223\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/really-insensitive-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hate-this-place-stewie-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97224\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hate-this-place-stewie-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"336\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It must be Bring Your Daughter To Work (It At The Village Rave) Day because Bone Maraca Pirate is partying it up with his greasy-haired teen daughter (someone get this girl some dry shampoo!). Little Miss Bone Maraca tries to get Sam to join her in dropping it like it's hot. Sam reacts the only way he knows how:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/rebuke-in-the-name-of-the-lord-god-warrior-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97222\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/rebuke-in-the-name-of-the-lord-god-warrior-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Morwenna is trying to get out of kinky foot stuff by praying for hours with one of her new stepdaughters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97269\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1020x1395.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"684\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1020x1395.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-160x219.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-800x1094.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-768x1051.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1180x1614.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-960x1313.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-240x328.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-375x513.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-520x711.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif.jpg 1661w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there God? It's me, Morwenna. \u003c/em>\u003cem>Not super happy with you right now, but you can make it up to me by granting me a prosthetic leg to throw at my husband.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/leg-throw-housewives-gif-aviva.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97226\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/leg-throw-housewives-gif-aviva.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>God responds, \u003cem>New phone, who dis?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/mariah-carey-i-dont-know-her.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/mariah-carey-i-dont-know-her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"165\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin barges in and yells, \u003cem>Yo, wife! Jesus will still be up there after I finish licking between all of your toes. Now take off your socks and let's get to it! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna reluctantly gets up, revealing A BABY BUMP!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/adore-delano-drag-race-shocked-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97229\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/adore-delano-drag-race-shocked-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She miserably gets into bed, dreaming up an assortment of gruesome revenge plots she'll hopefully use on Malfoy and Elizabeth soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less traumatic news, Agatha is about to turn 100! (To infinity more centuries, you wonderful drunk!) The only problem is all her friends are dead and can't come to her party. Womp!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97227\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"602\" height=\"801\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg 902w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-800x1064.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-768x1022.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-240x319.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-375x499.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-520x692.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 602px) 100vw, 602px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Depressed Drake has cried so much that the flood of tears have torn his shirt right off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97228 size-large\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1920x1081.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-960x541.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now he's sad \u003cem>and\u003c/em> cold. Poor guy can't catch a break!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc visits Malfoy Manor to check up on Valentine's rickets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Should we keep giving him weird powders and loving him less because we don't like deformed babies?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, what? This kid has never seen the sun. Maybe consider not leaving him in the dark crying all day? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Oh, I hadn't thought of that because I'm a monster.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to Doc and Blondie's \u003cem>we-definitely-aren't-already-married-and-certainly-don't-know-each-other-in-the-biblical-sense-yet\u003c/em> wedding. For some reason, they've invited Malfoy and Elizabeth, who are in a corner plotting on sucking up to some rich dude in order to make Malfoy a member of Parliament. But said rich dude is obsessed with Ross for saving his nephew a.k.a. Doc's Prison Bestie! Another L for Team Malfoy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97231\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-lose-willy-wonka-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97230\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Good-Day-Sir-Willy-Wonka.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Ross is off chatting about helping the poor (what else would he be chatting about?), Prison Bestie and Demelza have an almost cute exchange.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"You're not dancing, sir, or do you prefer observing?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"I used to. Since I was in France, my eyesight has declined.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mlxakp15K61s0pj15o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mlxakp15K61s0pj15o1_400.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"289\" height=\"308\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But his eyesight does appear to be good enough to stare thirstily at Demelza's hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bedroom-eyes-little-mermaid-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97233\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bedroom-eyes-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"404\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza finds Morwenna outside and asks when she's due. Morwenna admits she has no idea how long pregnancies last 'cause her mom never taught her about basic biology, and certainly never mentioned foot fetishes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-foot-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97234\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-foot-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening, in an effort to get Ross to show that he cares, Demelza mentions how flirty Prison Bestie was with her. Judging by Ross' response (\"Not every man in Cornwall is besotted with you\"), he doesn't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/everybody-likes-me-legally-blonde-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97235\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/everybody-likes-me-legally-blonde-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"140\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Gross Goblin rolls off of Morwenna (ewww) and tells her he's sending for her younger sister (the more feet, the merrier). This is a season of \u003cem>Sister Wives\u003c/em> I can do without.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Demelza's place, the topic of Valentine comes up. Ross continues pretending that he didn't have sex with Elizabeth nine exact months before Valentine was born. Demelza turns into a human side-eye emoji.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97239\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1020x569.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1920x1072.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-520x290.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the woods, Drake is nesting at the new house Ross gifted him by making a cast of Morwenna's face. Sam sees it and says, \"The blessed virgin and the holy child! It do gladden the heart to see you turn to God again!\" Dude, there are other books in the world! Go read one of them! Try having two interests instead of one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Toe Jam Headquarters, Morwenna's Jennifer Lawrence-lookalike sister arrives and is immediately like, \u003cem>Woah, your husband is disgusting! What gives? \u003c/em>I like her already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/jennifer-lawrence-ew-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97240\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/jennifer-lawrence-ew-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross, Demelza, Blondie, and Doc arrive at some banker's mansion for a house party. This scene feels like a public service announcement against anyone ever getting married:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I can think of 100 more useful things I could be doing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"A shame, Ross. You're becoming a misanthrope.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I sympathize. I'm no lover of company these days... \u003cem>*Blondie glares at him*\u003c/em> ...with the exception of my wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Sometimes Ross don't make no exception.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"If I have my way...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...which you frequently do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...this will be our last excursion for the foreseeable future.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeesh! Ross and Demelza are that married couple that resent each other a great deal, but stay together \"for the kids.\" Demelza, there is another way! Leave town with Blondie to film that \u003cem>Thelma and Louise\u003c/em> prequel I've been pitching all season. It is bound to be more fun than hoping your grump of a husband notices you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-160x116.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-800x581.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-768x557.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1180x856.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-960x697.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-240x174.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-375x272.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-520x377.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png 1196w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the party, Prison Bestie greets everyone, and this interesting exchange occurs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Are we never to be rid of you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"You'll be sorry you ever saved me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, wait a second. Prison Bestie and Demelza are totally going to bump uglies, right?! Surely that's the only thing this kind of heavy-handed foreshadowing could mean. To be honest, I don't hate the idea. Tit for tat, Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/karma-katy-perry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97241\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/karma-katy-perry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The banker makes a big deal about an \"amusement\" he's arranged for his guests. With much fuss, servants open the doors to reveal...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97244\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"351\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">*drumroll*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-too-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97243\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-too-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...bowling pins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/thatsit.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97242\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/thatsit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As everyone pretends to find bowling interesting, Prison Bestie continues to flirt up a storm with Demelza. At first, she's thinking, \u003cem>This is wrong! I'm married! And imagine how hard Sam would throw his Bible at my head!\u003c/em> But then, both of them put on devilish grins, and this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"Blooms from the Garden of Eden. But where lurks Eve?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And where the snake?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Lick_your_lips.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97245\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Lick_your_lips.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"187\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, Demelza, there's one in his pants you'll probably meet really soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside of the party, Malfoy is told he can't come in, but that doesn't stop him from eavesdropping and overhearing the banker offer to prop Ross up as a nominee for Parliament. Malfoy does not take this particularly well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/colbert-freak-out-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97247\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/colbert-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a corner of the party, Prison Bestie is still using his best pickup lines, but some of them are too fancy for Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"I'm no Leonardo, but you are surely Mona Lisa.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...I do not know these people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-know-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97249\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-know-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/about-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97248\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/about-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On second thought, maybe they won't bone?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence trolls Gross Goblin by taking off her shoe and mentioning how it pinches her toe. Okay, I officially need to be friends with this girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the party, Ross declines the banker's offer because he's too moral or whatever. Lemme guess, this guy will now offer the nomination to Malfoy. Do no other non-evil men live in this area?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, an irate Malfoy arrives home and looks for someone to abuse. Unfortunately, Agatha is sitting right there, so Malfoy grabs the Poldark family Bible (so many Bible-driven storylines this season!) and points out that Agatha is turning 98, not 100.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/so-what-who-cares-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97250\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/so-what-who-cares-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"243\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, Agatha cares because she has a meltdown. Malfoy decides to torture her some more by cancelling her birthday party and refusing to give her supper. Brb, gotta travel back in time and knock all his teeth out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-wanna-kill-him-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97251\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-wanna-kill-him-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"410\" height=\"196\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Agatha doesn't seem to need my help. She fights fire with fire by finally letting him know that Valentine is totally not his kid!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-are-not-the-father-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97252\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-are-not-the-father-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A shocked Malfoy goes downstairs to murder Elizabeth and Valentine, but is distracted by a visit from the banker, who offers him the Parliament nomination, as expected.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/971.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20488\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/971.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth senses from the maniacal look on Malfoy's face that something is amiss. She goes upstairs and finds Agatha despairing over her party and how her home has been taken over by the antichrist and how maybe she shouldn't have said that thing she said. Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>Um, what thing?! OMG, you didn't! Tell me what thing! \u003c/em>Agatha is over this conversation, so she closes her eyes and... DIES! WHAT THE HELL!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-please-god-no-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97254\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-please-god-no-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/fall-down-sad-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97256\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/fall-down-sad-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"176\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-believe-this-is-happening-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97257\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-believe-this-is-happening-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-defy-you-stars-leo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97255\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-defy-you-stars-leo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"208\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-sad-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97258\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-sad-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/depressed-ice-cream-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97253\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/depressed-ice-cream-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"424\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy sends a note to Ross that goes like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thought you should know I bullied your aunt to death last night. But the real reason I'm writing is to announce that I've been nominated to Parliament and you haven't! Nanny nanny boo boo! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>P.S. Please don't put a toad in my pants.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza calls Ross out for not taking the nomination when he had the chance and letting yet another important post be controlled by a Voldemort disciple.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Not once have you asked my advice or harkened to my opinion, not once!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What do you want, Demelza?! A man who will lie down, roll over, sit up, and beg for you? Well, if so, you've married the wrong man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"It would appear so.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps you should look elsewhere for a pet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps I should... Perhaps I won't have to look too far.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Garden of Eden snake is on his way!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/snake-disney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97259\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/snake-disney-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the cemetery, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies dump Agatha's coffin in the mud and walk off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43530\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross digs Agatha's grave himself and vows to get revenge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-wait-to-see-how-this-turns-out-rupaul-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97260\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-wait-to-see-how-this-turns-out-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"319\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>How dare you?!?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Sure, trying to bed your savior's wife isn't exactly cool, but a\u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">nyone who understands how Demelza should be treated is okay in my book.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Anyone who puts up with this much of Ross' BS deserves something shiny.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>The best kind of trouble. Looking forward to whatever mischief she plans to cook up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Agatha.\u003c/strong> She was too good for this world. Whose playful alcoholism and cute, prolonged farts will keep us entertained now? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Marital bickering! Toe-sucking! Something major I can't say 'cause you'll get mad about spoilers!",
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"description": "Marital bickering! Toe-sucking! Something major I can't say 'cause you'll get mad about spoilers!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Drake's love of unfunny toad pranks almost got him killed, Morwenna was forced into marrying a toe-gobbling goblin, and Doc waged a crusade against macarons and sex with his wife. Will Drake get shot at or imprisoned again, cementing his reputation as the Suge Knight of 18th-century Cornwall? Will Morwenna let her toe nails grow really long as a defense mechanism against her new husband's foot fetish? Will Doc's PTSD stop hogging all the screen-time so we can get a Horace the Pug storyline or two? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We were all expecting a mournful opening scene, in the wake of Morwenna and Gross Goblin's wedding, but instead Ross, Demelza, and all of their friends are twerking and dabbing up a storm to sick fiddle jams around a raging fire. Drake looks around and has a lot of feelings about everyone not giving a single you-know-what about his heartbreak. Here's a sampler platter of what's going on inside his brain right now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/im-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97225\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/im-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"450\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/really-insensitive-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97223\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/really-insensitive-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hate-this-place-stewie-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97224\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/hate-this-place-stewie-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"336\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It must be Bring Your Daughter To Work (It At The Village Rave) Day because Bone Maraca Pirate is partying it up with his greasy-haired teen daughter (someone get this girl some dry shampoo!). Little Miss Bone Maraca tries to get Sam to join her in dropping it like it's hot. Sam reacts the only way he knows how:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/rebuke-in-the-name-of-the-lord-god-warrior-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97222\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/rebuke-in-the-name-of-the-lord-god-warrior-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Morwenna is trying to get out of kinky foot stuff by praying for hours with one of her new stepdaughters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97269\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1020x1395.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"684\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1020x1395.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-160x219.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-800x1094.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-768x1051.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-1180x1614.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-960x1313.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-240x328.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-375x513.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif-520x711.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/are-you-there-god-its-me-margarita-gif.jpg 1661w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there God? It's me, Morwenna. \u003c/em>\u003cem>Not super happy with you right now, but you can make it up to me by granting me a prosthetic leg to throw at my husband.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/leg-throw-housewives-gif-aviva.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97226\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/leg-throw-housewives-gif-aviva.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>God responds, \u003cem>New phone, who dis?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/mariah-carey-i-dont-know-her.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/mariah-carey-i-dont-know-her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"165\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin barges in and yells, \u003cem>Yo, wife! Jesus will still be up there after I finish licking between all of your toes. Now take off your socks and let's get to it! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna reluctantly gets up, revealing A BABY BUMP!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/adore-delano-drag-race-shocked-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97229\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/adore-delano-drag-race-shocked-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She miserably gets into bed, dreaming up an assortment of gruesome revenge plots she'll hopefully use on Malfoy and Elizabeth soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In less traumatic news, Agatha is about to turn 100! (To infinity more centuries, you wonderful drunk!) The only problem is all her friends are dead and can't come to her party. Womp!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97227\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"602\" height=\"801\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark.jpg 902w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-800x1064.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-768x1022.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-240x319.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-375x499.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/all-my-friends-are-dead-agatha-poldark-520x692.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 602px) 100vw, 602px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Depressed Drake has cried so much that the flood of tears have torn his shirt right off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97228 size-large\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1920x1081.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-960x541.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-drake-poldark-e1509926697523-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now he's sad \u003cem>and\u003c/em> cold. Poor guy can't catch a break!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc visits Malfoy Manor to check up on Valentine's rickets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Should we keep giving him weird powders and loving him less because we don't like deformed babies?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, what? This kid has never seen the sun. Maybe consider not leaving him in the dark crying all day? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Oh, I hadn't thought of that because I'm a monster.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to Doc and Blondie's \u003cem>we-definitely-aren't-already-married-and-certainly-don't-know-each-other-in-the-biblical-sense-yet\u003c/em> wedding. For some reason, they've invited Malfoy and Elizabeth, who are in a corner plotting on sucking up to some rich dude in order to make Malfoy a member of Parliament. But said rich dude is obsessed with Ross for saving his nephew a.k.a. Doc's Prison Bestie! Another L for Team Malfoy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97231\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-lose-willy-wonka-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97230\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Good-Day-Sir-Willy-Wonka.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Ross is off chatting about helping the poor (what else would he be chatting about?), Prison Bestie and Demelza have an almost cute exchange.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"You're not dancing, sir, or do you prefer observing?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"I used to. Since I was in France, my eyesight has declined.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mlxakp15K61s0pj15o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mlxakp15K61s0pj15o1_400.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"289\" height=\"308\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But his eyesight does appear to be good enough to stare thirstily at Demelza's hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bedroom-eyes-little-mermaid-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97233\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bedroom-eyes-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"404\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza finds Morwenna outside and asks when she's due. Morwenna admits she has no idea how long pregnancies last 'cause her mom never taught her about basic biology, and certainly never mentioned foot fetishes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-foot-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97234\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/sad-foot-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening, in an effort to get Ross to show that he cares, Demelza mentions how flirty Prison Bestie was with her. Judging by Ross' response (\"Not every man in Cornwall is besotted with you\"), he doesn't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/everybody-likes-me-legally-blonde-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97235\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/everybody-likes-me-legally-blonde-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"140\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Gross Goblin rolls off of Morwenna (ewww) and tells her he's sending for her younger sister (the more feet, the merrier). This is a season of \u003cem>Sister Wives\u003c/em> I can do without.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Demelza's place, the topic of Valentine comes up. Ross continues pretending that he didn't have sex with Elizabeth nine exact months before Valentine was born. Demelza turns into a human side-eye emoji.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97239\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1020x569.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1920x1072.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-sideeye-520x290.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the woods, Drake is nesting at the new house Ross gifted him by making a cast of Morwenna's face. Sam sees it and says, \"The blessed virgin and the holy child! It do gladden the heart to see you turn to God again!\" Dude, there are other books in the world! Go read one of them! Try having two interests instead of one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Toe Jam Headquarters, Morwenna's Jennifer Lawrence-lookalike sister arrives and is immediately like, \u003cem>Woah, your husband is disgusting! What gives? \u003c/em>I like her already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/jennifer-lawrence-ew-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97240\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/jennifer-lawrence-ew-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross, Demelza, Blondie, and Doc arrive at some banker's mansion for a house party. This scene feels like a public service announcement against anyone ever getting married:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I can think of 100 more useful things I could be doing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"A shame, Ross. You're becoming a misanthrope.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I sympathize. I'm no lover of company these days... \u003cem>*Blondie glares at him*\u003c/em> ...with the exception of my wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Sometimes Ross don't make no exception.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"If I have my way...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...which you frequently do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...this will be our last excursion for the foreseeable future.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeesh! Ross and Demelza are that married couple that resent each other a great deal, but stay together \"for the kids.\" Demelza, there is another way! Leave town with Blondie to film that \u003cem>Thelma and Louise\u003c/em> prequel I've been pitching all season. It is bound to be more fun than hoping your grump of a husband notices you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-160x116.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-800x581.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-768x557.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1180x856.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-960x697.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-240x174.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-375x272.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-520x377.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png 1196w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the party, Prison Bestie greets everyone, and this interesting exchange occurs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Are we never to be rid of you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"You'll be sorry you ever saved me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, wait a second. Prison Bestie and Demelza are totally going to bump uglies, right?! Surely that's the only thing this kind of heavy-handed foreshadowing could mean. To be honest, I don't hate the idea. Tit for tat, Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/karma-katy-perry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97241\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/karma-katy-perry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The banker makes a big deal about an \"amusement\" he's arranged for his guests. With much fuss, servants open the doors to reveal...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97244\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"351\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">*drumroll*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-too-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97243\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/phoebe-excited-too-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...bowling pins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/thatsit.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97242\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/thatsit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As everyone pretends to find bowling interesting, Prison Bestie continues to flirt up a storm with Demelza. At first, she's thinking, \u003cem>This is wrong! I'm married! And imagine how hard Sam would throw his Bible at my head!\u003c/em> But then, both of them put on devilish grins, and this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"Blooms from the Garden of Eden. But where lurks Eve?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And where the snake?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Lick_your_lips.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97245\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Lick_your_lips.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"187\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, Demelza, there's one in his pants you'll probably meet really soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside of the party, Malfoy is told he can't come in, but that doesn't stop him from eavesdropping and overhearing the banker offer to prop Ross up as a nominee for Parliament. Malfoy does not take this particularly well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/colbert-freak-out-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97247\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/colbert-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a corner of the party, Prison Bestie is still using his best pickup lines, but some of them are too fancy for Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prison Bestie:\u003c/strong> \"I'm no Leonardo, but you are surely Mona Lisa.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...I do not know these people.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-know-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97249\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-know-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/about-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97248\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/about-nothing-anna-nicole-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On second thought, maybe they won't bone?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence trolls Gross Goblin by taking off her shoe and mentioning how it pinches her toe. Okay, I officially need to be friends with this girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the party, Ross declines the banker's offer because he's too moral or whatever. Lemme guess, this guy will now offer the nomination to Malfoy. Do no other non-evil men live in this area?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, an irate Malfoy arrives home and looks for someone to abuse. Unfortunately, Agatha is sitting right there, so Malfoy grabs the Poldark family Bible (so many Bible-driven storylines this season!) and points out that Agatha is turning 98, not 100.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/so-what-who-cares-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97250\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/so-what-who-cares-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"243\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, Agatha cares because she has a meltdown. Malfoy decides to torture her some more by cancelling her birthday party and refusing to give her supper. Brb, gotta travel back in time and knock all his teeth out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-wanna-kill-him-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97251\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-wanna-kill-him-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"410\" height=\"196\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Agatha doesn't seem to need my help. She fights fire with fire by finally letting him know that Valentine is totally not his kid!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-are-not-the-father-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97252\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-are-not-the-father-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A shocked Malfoy goes downstairs to murder Elizabeth and Valentine, but is distracted by a visit from the banker, who offers him the Parliament nomination, as expected.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/971.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20488\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/971.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth senses from the maniacal look on Malfoy's face that something is amiss. She goes upstairs and finds Agatha despairing over her party and how her home has been taken over by the antichrist and how maybe she shouldn't have said that thing she said. Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>Um, what thing?! OMG, you didn't! Tell me what thing! \u003c/em>Agatha is over this conversation, so she closes her eyes and... DIES! WHAT THE HELL!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-please-god-no-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97254\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-please-god-no-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/fall-down-sad-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97256\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/fall-down-sad-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"176\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-believe-this-is-happening-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97257\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-believe-this-is-happening-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-defy-you-stars-leo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97255\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-defy-you-stars-leo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"208\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-sad-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97258\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-sad-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/depressed-ice-cream-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97253\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/depressed-ice-cream-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"424\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy sends a note to Ross that goes like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Thought you should know I bullied your aunt to death last night. But the real reason I'm writing is to announce that I've been nominated to Parliament and you haven't! Nanny nanny boo boo! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>P.S. Please don't put a toad in my pants.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza calls Ross out for not taking the nomination when he had the chance and letting yet another important post be controlled by a Voldemort disciple.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Not once have you asked my advice or harkened to my opinion, not once!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What do you want, Demelza?! A man who will lie down, roll over, sit up, and beg for you? Well, if so, you've married the wrong man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"It would appear so.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps you should look elsewhere for a pet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps I should... Perhaps I won't have to look too far.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Garden of Eden snake is on his way!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/snake-disney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97259\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/snake-disney-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the cemetery, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies dump Agatha's coffin in the mud and walk off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43530\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross digs Agatha's grave himself and vows to get revenge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-wait-to-see-how-this-turns-out-rupaul-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97260\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cant-wait-to-see-how-this-turns-out-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"319\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>How dare you?!?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Sure, trying to bed your savior's wife isn't exactly cool, but a\u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">nyone who understands how Demelza should be treated is okay in my book.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Anyone who puts up with this much of Ross' BS deserves something shiny.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>The best kind of trouble. Looking forward to whatever mischief she plans to cook up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Agatha.\u003c/strong> She was too good for this world. Whose playful alcoholism and cute, prolonged farts will keep us entertained now? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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1509324615000
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross rescued Doc from a life of eating French rats and cauterizing festering wounds with a spoon, Drake got broken up with \u003cem>and\u003c/em> shot in the back, and Demelza wondered if she'll ever be able to enjoy a single day without worrying about everyone she loves dropping dead (short answer: nope). Will Doc's PTSD make him distant from Horace the Pug? Will Drake finally release a rap album his 21st-century namesake can be proud of? Will Demelza take some much-needed me-time at a spa and catch up on her stack of \u003cem>US Weekly\u003c/em> magazines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still recuperating from a bullet wound / breakup double whammy, Drake informs Ross and Demelza that he plans to move far, far away to a land where no one ever gets dumped or shot. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross makes his own proclamation-that'll-never-come-true: he plans to stop doing dangerous things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97082 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"1200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This has nothing to do with the narrative, but am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to Demelza's sad, flat hat?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-800x449.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-768x431.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1920x1077.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1180x662.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-960x538.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-520x292.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, just look at it! Did it get run over by a horse and carriage? Are they so poor that she has to wear a place setting on her head? Is anyone else craving a crepe with Nutella right now, after staring at this thing? Just me? Okay, cool. Back to the story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to chez Malfoy to hang out with Agatha (i.e. get drunk and pull a tarot card or two). He doesn't know it, but, upstairs, Malfoy and Elizabeth are being gross in bed. No, not having sex; they definitely never do that. They're eating strawberries fully clothed and indulging in their two favorite pastimes: complaining about Ross (how dare he free Doc's rich prison bestie from captivity!) and plotting to marry Morwenna to Gross Goblin to advance their never-ending social-climbing ambitions. At this point, even the Devil himself is like, \u003cem>Ew, you two, take it down a few notches.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Broken Record Ross tells Agatha all about a new plan to help poor people (this time, it's turning one of his fields into a public garden!). Like me, Agatha is bored by this. She decides to spice things up by informing Ross that Malfoy and Elizabeth are right above their heads. Ross can't believe Agatha didn't warn him. A pair of Deal-With-It sunglasses fall from the sky onto Agatha's face. Someone has to stir the pot around here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Making a hasty exit, Ross spots a crying Valentine and, for .003 seconds, feels bad for abandoning him, but quickly gets over it. Valentine is going to have \u003cem>sooo\u003c/em> much to tell his therapist when he grows up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, a beardless (and -- let's be real -- less hot) Doc is suffering with traumatic flashbacks of his time in prison. Because Oprah won't get around to producing a special on PTSD for a few centuries, Blondie doesn't understand why Doc bristles when she asks whether they should snack on almond biscuits or marzipan for lunch.\u003cem> I'M STILL DIGESTING MY RAT DINNER! DON'T YOU GET IT?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right before Doc blows up, Demelza and her Nutella crepe hat walk in. She immediately experiences that feeling you get when you stroll up on two friends who are clearly in a fight, but are now pretending they're not for your sake, and you wish you could just retreat backwards really slowly, but you're stuck forever and might die of awkwardness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie mentions that Doc's worst nightmare is cards. Internally, Doc screams, \u003cem>UM! NO! IT'S PROBABLY WHEN THE GUARDS KILLED MY FRIEND FOR HAVING BROWN EYES!!! \u003c/em>Blondie also mentions that silly ol' Doc wants to rejoin the Navy once he's fully recovered, and asks Demelza to scold him. Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Malfoy, word has gotten out about Ross regularly visiting Agatha. Elizabeth decides someone should pay. That someone is Morwenna, who will be married off against her will at once! Malfoy yells at Morwenna about how much Gross Goblin is suffering, while awaiting a response to his proposal: \"He is quite distraught and hardly knows what to do with himself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Gross Goblin knowing exactly what to do with himself, mainly sucking on a prostitute's big toe. That's all I'll say about that because ew. But I finally know why this dude looks so familiar. He's the ancestor of this character from \u003cem>Dune\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Malfoy property, there are toads everywhere. Apparently, Drake released a bunch of them to make Morwenna smile. Wow, life was that dull before Netflix that the best entertainment you could hope for was... amphibians? As a famous politician (who also looks a bit like the guy from \u003cem>Dune)\u003c/em> says: Sad!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles are inexplicably cracking up at the toads, Drake pops out from behind a bush. He has his heart set on one final romantic gesture before he moves away forever. Morwenna and Drake have so much to say to each other, but third-wheel-extraordinaire / decorated cock-block Geoffrey Charles is standing right in the middle of things and not taking the hint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97090\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, someone from the house calls for Geoffrey Charles, leaving the two lovebirds alone. Drake shares a few lines from the rap album he's working on:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All I could think of is you. Day. Night. Sun. Moon. Sleeping. Waking. Working. Dreaming.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna pretends like she doesn't want to immediately download it on iTunes. They are from different classes! It will never work! Rules > Love! But who is she kidding? That rap song is fire. She smashes her mouth into his and they make out for a long time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, making out is also on the agenda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"My love, shall we to bed?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Forgive me. I'm so accustomed at being awake at all hours of the night, I barely know how to sleep these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"I was not suggesting sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I think I'll go downstairs and read a while.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brutal! Our thoughts and prayers go out to Horace the Pug's mom at this difficult time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza asks if Blondie and Doc are ill-suited. Ross's theory is that Blondie loves him, but it doesn't matter; war veterans lose the capacity to receive or give love, and end up resenting their wives for no good reason. Demelza makes the kind of face reserved for the moment your teacher hands back a test and you get a load of all the answers you should have known but got wrong. \"But if a man's wife can't help him, who can?\" she asks. Again, you know this answer, girl. His trifling, jealous ex, duh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the devil, Elizabeth is startled awake by Malfoy's screaming about the toads again. Their ribbits are messing with his beauty sleep! He has no idea that, in a few centuries, people will pay good money for sleep machines that mimic swamp sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy of course thinks Ross is behind the toads. Somewhere, Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Sam is very upset about Drake's soul, now that he's tongue wrestling again. Demelza thinks Sam should get a hobby that isn't wringing his hands over who is playing tonsil hockey at any given moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But sex is evil and sinful and bad!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> If sex is wrong, I don't want to be right!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Not your soul too! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's pad, Doc is staring into the fireplace, reminiscing about all his dead friends again. Blondie decides it's a good idea to sneak up behind him and say \"CAUGHT YOU!\" You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that phrase might be a smidge triggering for a prisoner-of-war. Doc understandably freaks out, wishes for opium so he can drug himself into oblivion, and storms out. R.I.P. Honeymoon period. Also R.I.P. Any chance these two will have sex a third time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ever the savior, Ross brings over Doc's prison bestie to help make Doc feel better. It works, which bums Blondie out even more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Agatha takes a minute out of her busy boozing schedule to bully Malfoy, and I'm 100% here for it. She points out that the reason everyone hated him in childhood wasn't because his grandfather was poor, but because he was ashamed that his grandfather was poor. There's a difference. Also, his face was really annoying and punchable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Morwenna tells Drake that Malfoy has a phobia of toads because Ross used to fill his pants with them at school (I don't condone bullying, but touché, young Ross). She warns him to stop putting them in the pond to make her laugh because a.) he'll get caught and b.) they're not that funny. Drake wants to keep doing it because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ . \"Did we not agree? Some things are worth the risk,\" he proclaims. Love and destroying classism, sure, but relocating toads?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Geoffrey Charles is running all over Cornwall, trying to warn Drake about a trap Malfoy has set. But it's too late. Drake is already letting more toads loose because HA HA HA LOL HILARIOUS! He soon discovers that there are three armed Slytherin cronies waiting to kill him. Dude, you just got shot last week and you're courting another bullet over toads?! Early aughts rapper Eve was right: \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVk9jvSv27Y\">Love is blind\u003c/a> and it will take over your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Drake, Demelza receives Geoffrey Charles' warning and rushes to help get her stupid-in-love brother out of another pickle. Demelza throws a rock to distract the guards and runs off into the woods with Drake! A Slytherin crony shoots and misses Drake's skull! Everyone really needs to calm down! They're just toads! Slytherin crony throws a club at Drake's back! Drake falls! Slytherin crony lifts his club to crack Drake's skull! Out of nowhere, Ross knocks Slytherin crony out! Ross, Demelza, and Drake escape!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Malfoy is livid. He lashes out by announcing Geoffrey Charles will be sent to boarding school to have his pants filled with toads too. The circle of life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Geoffrey Charles runs to tell Drake that he's being sent away, gives him a parting gift, and also casually mentions that Morwenna is going to marry Gross Goblin. Okay, so Geoffrey Charles is either really dumb or really sneaky. Either he hasn't once, during all those throuple dates, picked up on the fact that Drake and Morwenna are into each other in a way that Sam would find sinful. Or he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> picked up on that and wants Drake all for himself. I mean, his mother \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Elizabeth. I wouldn't put it past him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next time Drake and Morwenna meet, Drake takes off his shirt to show her his new club wound because no one has taken off their shirt in a while and the\u003cem> Poldark\u003c/em> writers know what the audience wants. Drake and Morwenna make out for a while before he is like, \u003cem>Um, you forgot to tell me you're getting married to someone who's not me. What gives?!\u003c/em> She tries to explain: \u003cem>You're poor and I'm not. So sayonara love, hello toe sucking! \u003c/em>Drake tells her he'll try to make some money so she will deign to pick him over Gross Goblin. Morwenna is like, \u003cem>Yes! Stop being poor!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97105\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a nearby hill, Slytherin crony spots Drake in all his shirtlessness and club woundedness and runs home to report the hot gossip. Here we go...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Morwenna gets back home, Elizabeth and Malfoy basically call her a whore and tell her she'll be sent back to her mother because they don't want to be associated with such immoral behavior. Um, Elizabeth, did you forget your whole home-wrecking adventure last season? Surely, your new baby, who isn't at all related to your husband, should be enough of a reminder?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"289\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes the scolding in stride and agrees to go back home. Elizabeth is annoyed that Morwenna didn't sob or anything. How is she supposed to get a high from torturing people, if they don't show signs of suffering? #FirstWorldVillainProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc loudly tells Prison Bestie how he never realized how unimaginative and boring Blondie is. Of course, Blondie is nearby and hears the whole thing. Prison Bestie is like, \u003cem>Way harsh, Tai. Maybe try talking to her?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth asks Geoffrey Charles where his fancy Bible went. Cut to Slytherin crony trespassing into Drake's house and finding Geoffrey Charles' unopened gift. Drake is taken into custody for \"stealing.\" Because the Bible is worth more than 40 shillings, the punishment is most likely death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to review:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for letting toads loose: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for accepting an only-sort-of-expensive gift: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for mining without common sense: DEATH (R.I.P. Francis).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for having a mom nice enough to nurse a sick Elizabeth and Geoffrey Charles back to life: BABY DEATH (R.I.P. Julia).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary, the 1700s were the worst!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza vows to give a statement in front of the magistrate that she saw Geoffrey Charles give Drake the Bible as a present. \u003cem>Easy! Glad that's all sorted!\u003c/em> she thinks, before Ross bursts her bubble by reminding her that Malfoy is the magistrate. Demelza blows up at Ross for being too noble or whatever to accept the position when it was offered to him. Yeah, Ross, WTF!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"682\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to Malfoy's place. They argue over many points that, as always, boil down to who has the bigger penis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy makes Morwenna a proposition: He'll let Drake live, if she marries Gross Goblin. You know, this whole mess would come to a nice, swift conclusion if Morwenna just stabbed Malfoy to death. Just saying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's, Doc opens up about his survivor's guilt and admits that, while high thread counts and macarons and sex all are odious to him at the moment, he hopes to begin enjoying all three again soon -- maybe even at the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross' farm, Sam consoles Demelza by saying there's nothing they can do about Drake's imminent execution except pray. Actually, there's a lot both of you could do, but whatever. Right then, Drake walks up, a free man! Everyone celebrates! Morwenna will be moving in soon! All's well that ends well! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast. Mid jubilation, a letter comes inviting everyone to church. What they find is the end of Morwenna's wedding ceremony to Gross Goblin. Malfoy walks by a devastated Drake and co. with this smug look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Print it out and give it a good punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth (Again! Surprise!). \u003c/strong>Every villain has a good origin story, an early trauma that causes them to unleash terror. This week, we found out that Malfoy's reason was... someone put a toad in his pants one time.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Grow a thicker skin, dude. Geez. As for Elizabeth, everything she's done on this show has been entirely self-centered and awful. Marrying Ross' first cousin 'cause he took too long surviving the war? Repaying Demelza for nursing her back to life and sacrificing her own baby in the process by boinking her husband? Gleefully marrying off Morwenna in order to be invited to cooler parties? Get these two a one-way ticket to the ninth circle of Hell (that one is for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Nameless Prostitute\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Having her toes gobbled on by Gross Goblin must have been hard.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie. \u003c/strong>It's not her fault she's all \u003cem>Let them eat macarons!\u003c/em> Just one season ago, she thought poor people were gross and should die. She's come a long way. Give her a break, Doc! (Horace the Pug may or may not have slipped me a shilling or two to write this.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross.\u003c/strong> I vowed to hate him forever last season, but he's Good Samaritan-ed his way back into my heart. Now if he could come over and turn all the water that comes out of my kitchen faucet into wine, all will be officially forgiven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Drake.\u003c/strong> Shot in the back, clubbed in the back, broken up with every other day, jailed, sentenced to death, and robbed of his one true love. The material for his rap album is just piling up, and it'll all be worth it when he walks home with eight Grammys (which are worth way more than Geoffrey Charles' dumb little Bible). Hang in there, Drake! It gets better (*whispers* actually, it might not).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "A foot fetish, a plague of frogs, a bad case of PTSD: this episode has it all!",
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"description": "A foot fetish, a plague of frogs, a bad case of PTSD: this episode has it all!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross rescued Doc from a life of eating French rats and cauterizing festering wounds with a spoon, Drake got broken up with \u003cem>and\u003c/em> shot in the back, and Demelza wondered if she'll ever be able to enjoy a single day without worrying about everyone she loves dropping dead (short answer: nope). Will Doc's PTSD make him distant from Horace the Pug? Will Drake finally release a rap album his 21st-century namesake can be proud of? Will Demelza take some much-needed me-time at a spa and catch up on her stack of \u003cem>US Weekly\u003c/em> magazines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still recuperating from a bullet wound / breakup double whammy, Drake informs Ross and Demelza that he plans to move far, far away to a land where no one ever gets dumped or shot. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross makes his own proclamation-that'll-never-come-true: he plans to stop doing dangerous things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97082 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"1200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This has nothing to do with the narrative, but am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to Demelza's sad, flat hat?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-800x449.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-768x431.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1920x1077.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1180x662.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-960x538.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-520x292.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, just look at it! Did it get run over by a horse and carriage? Are they so poor that she has to wear a place setting on her head? Is anyone else craving a crepe with Nutella right now, after staring at this thing? Just me? Okay, cool. Back to the story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to chez Malfoy to hang out with Agatha (i.e. get drunk and pull a tarot card or two). He doesn't know it, but, upstairs, Malfoy and Elizabeth are being gross in bed. No, not having sex; they definitely never do that. They're eating strawberries fully clothed and indulging in their two favorite pastimes: complaining about Ross (how dare he free Doc's rich prison bestie from captivity!) and plotting to marry Morwenna to Gross Goblin to advance their never-ending social-climbing ambitions. At this point, even the Devil himself is like, \u003cem>Ew, you two, take it down a few notches.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Broken Record Ross tells Agatha all about a new plan to help poor people (this time, it's turning one of his fields into a public garden!). Like me, Agatha is bored by this. She decides to spice things up by informing Ross that Malfoy and Elizabeth are right above their heads. Ross can't believe Agatha didn't warn him. A pair of Deal-With-It sunglasses fall from the sky onto Agatha's face. Someone has to stir the pot around here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Making a hasty exit, Ross spots a crying Valentine and, for .003 seconds, feels bad for abandoning him, but quickly gets over it. Valentine is going to have \u003cem>sooo\u003c/em> much to tell his therapist when he grows up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, a beardless (and -- let's be real -- less hot) Doc is suffering with traumatic flashbacks of his time in prison. Because Oprah won't get around to producing a special on PTSD for a few centuries, Blondie doesn't understand why Doc bristles when she asks whether they should snack on almond biscuits or marzipan for lunch.\u003cem> I'M STILL DIGESTING MY RAT DINNER! DON'T YOU GET IT?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right before Doc blows up, Demelza and her Nutella crepe hat walk in. She immediately experiences that feeling you get when you stroll up on two friends who are clearly in a fight, but are now pretending they're not for your sake, and you wish you could just retreat backwards really slowly, but you're stuck forever and might die of awkwardness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie mentions that Doc's worst nightmare is cards. Internally, Doc screams, \u003cem>UM! NO! IT'S PROBABLY WHEN THE GUARDS KILLED MY FRIEND FOR HAVING BROWN EYES!!! \u003c/em>Blondie also mentions that silly ol' Doc wants to rejoin the Navy once he's fully recovered, and asks Demelza to scold him. Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Malfoy, word has gotten out about Ross regularly visiting Agatha. Elizabeth decides someone should pay. That someone is Morwenna, who will be married off against her will at once! Malfoy yells at Morwenna about how much Gross Goblin is suffering, while awaiting a response to his proposal: \"He is quite distraught and hardly knows what to do with himself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Gross Goblin knowing exactly what to do with himself, mainly sucking on a prostitute's big toe. That's all I'll say about that because ew. But I finally know why this dude looks so familiar. He's the ancestor of this character from \u003cem>Dune\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Malfoy property, there are toads everywhere. Apparently, Drake released a bunch of them to make Morwenna smile. Wow, life was that dull before Netflix that the best entertainment you could hope for was... amphibians? As a famous politician (who also looks a bit like the guy from \u003cem>Dune)\u003c/em> says: Sad!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles are inexplicably cracking up at the toads, Drake pops out from behind a bush. He has his heart set on one final romantic gesture before he moves away forever. Morwenna and Drake have so much to say to each other, but third-wheel-extraordinaire / decorated cock-block Geoffrey Charles is standing right in the middle of things and not taking the hint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97090\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, someone from the house calls for Geoffrey Charles, leaving the two lovebirds alone. Drake shares a few lines from the rap album he's working on:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All I could think of is you. Day. Night. Sun. Moon. Sleeping. Waking. Working. Dreaming.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna pretends like she doesn't want to immediately download it on iTunes. They are from different classes! It will never work! Rules > Love! But who is she kidding? That rap song is fire. She smashes her mouth into his and they make out for a long time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, making out is also on the agenda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"My love, shall we to bed?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Forgive me. I'm so accustomed at being awake at all hours of the night, I barely know how to sleep these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"I was not suggesting sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I think I'll go downstairs and read a while.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brutal! Our thoughts and prayers go out to Horace the Pug's mom at this difficult time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza asks if Blondie and Doc are ill-suited. Ross's theory is that Blondie loves him, but it doesn't matter; war veterans lose the capacity to receive or give love, and end up resenting their wives for no good reason. Demelza makes the kind of face reserved for the moment your teacher hands back a test and you get a load of all the answers you should have known but got wrong. \"But if a man's wife can't help him, who can?\" she asks. Again, you know this answer, girl. His trifling, jealous ex, duh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the devil, Elizabeth is startled awake by Malfoy's screaming about the toads again. Their ribbits are messing with his beauty sleep! He has no idea that, in a few centuries, people will pay good money for sleep machines that mimic swamp sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy of course thinks Ross is behind the toads. Somewhere, Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Sam is very upset about Drake's soul, now that he's tongue wrestling again. Demelza thinks Sam should get a hobby that isn't wringing his hands over who is playing tonsil hockey at any given moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But sex is evil and sinful and bad!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> If sex is wrong, I don't want to be right!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Not your soul too! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's pad, Doc is staring into the fireplace, reminiscing about all his dead friends again. Blondie decides it's a good idea to sneak up behind him and say \"CAUGHT YOU!\" You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that phrase might be a smidge triggering for a prisoner-of-war. Doc understandably freaks out, wishes for opium so he can drug himself into oblivion, and storms out. R.I.P. Honeymoon period. Also R.I.P. Any chance these two will have sex a third time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ever the savior, Ross brings over Doc's prison bestie to help make Doc feel better. It works, which bums Blondie out even more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Agatha takes a minute out of her busy boozing schedule to bully Malfoy, and I'm 100% here for it. She points out that the reason everyone hated him in childhood wasn't because his grandfather was poor, but because he was ashamed that his grandfather was poor. There's a difference. Also, his face was really annoying and punchable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Morwenna tells Drake that Malfoy has a phobia of toads because Ross used to fill his pants with them at school (I don't condone bullying, but touché, young Ross). She warns him to stop putting them in the pond to make her laugh because a.) he'll get caught and b.) they're not that funny. Drake wants to keep doing it because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ . \"Did we not agree? Some things are worth the risk,\" he proclaims. Love and destroying classism, sure, but relocating toads?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Geoffrey Charles is running all over Cornwall, trying to warn Drake about a trap Malfoy has set. But it's too late. Drake is already letting more toads loose because HA HA HA LOL HILARIOUS! He soon discovers that there are three armed Slytherin cronies waiting to kill him. Dude, you just got shot last week and you're courting another bullet over toads?! Early aughts rapper Eve was right: \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVk9jvSv27Y\">Love is blind\u003c/a> and it will take over your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Drake, Demelza receives Geoffrey Charles' warning and rushes to help get her stupid-in-love brother out of another pickle. Demelza throws a rock to distract the guards and runs off into the woods with Drake! A Slytherin crony shoots and misses Drake's skull! Everyone really needs to calm down! They're just toads! Slytherin crony throws a club at Drake's back! Drake falls! Slytherin crony lifts his club to crack Drake's skull! Out of nowhere, Ross knocks Slytherin crony out! Ross, Demelza, and Drake escape!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Malfoy is livid. He lashes out by announcing Geoffrey Charles will be sent to boarding school to have his pants filled with toads too. The circle of life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Geoffrey Charles runs to tell Drake that he's being sent away, gives him a parting gift, and also casually mentions that Morwenna is going to marry Gross Goblin. Okay, so Geoffrey Charles is either really dumb or really sneaky. Either he hasn't once, during all those throuple dates, picked up on the fact that Drake and Morwenna are into each other in a way that Sam would find sinful. Or he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> picked up on that and wants Drake all for himself. I mean, his mother \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Elizabeth. I wouldn't put it past him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next time Drake and Morwenna meet, Drake takes off his shirt to show her his new club wound because no one has taken off their shirt in a while and the\u003cem> Poldark\u003c/em> writers know what the audience wants. Drake and Morwenna make out for a while before he is like, \u003cem>Um, you forgot to tell me you're getting married to someone who's not me. What gives?!\u003c/em> She tries to explain: \u003cem>You're poor and I'm not. So sayonara love, hello toe sucking! \u003c/em>Drake tells her he'll try to make some money so she will deign to pick him over Gross Goblin. Morwenna is like, \u003cem>Yes! Stop being poor!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97105\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a nearby hill, Slytherin crony spots Drake in all his shirtlessness and club woundedness and runs home to report the hot gossip. Here we go...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Morwenna gets back home, Elizabeth and Malfoy basically call her a whore and tell her she'll be sent back to her mother because they don't want to be associated with such immoral behavior. Um, Elizabeth, did you forget your whole home-wrecking adventure last season? Surely, your new baby, who isn't at all related to your husband, should be enough of a reminder?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"289\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes the scolding in stride and agrees to go back home. Elizabeth is annoyed that Morwenna didn't sob or anything. How is she supposed to get a high from torturing people, if they don't show signs of suffering? #FirstWorldVillainProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc loudly tells Prison Bestie how he never realized how unimaginative and boring Blondie is. Of course, Blondie is nearby and hears the whole thing. Prison Bestie is like, \u003cem>Way harsh, Tai. Maybe try talking to her?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth asks Geoffrey Charles where his fancy Bible went. Cut to Slytherin crony trespassing into Drake's house and finding Geoffrey Charles' unopened gift. Drake is taken into custody for \"stealing.\" Because the Bible is worth more than 40 shillings, the punishment is most likely death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to review:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for letting toads loose: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for accepting an only-sort-of-expensive gift: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for mining without common sense: DEATH (R.I.P. Francis).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for having a mom nice enough to nurse a sick Elizabeth and Geoffrey Charles back to life: BABY DEATH (R.I.P. Julia).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary, the 1700s were the worst!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza vows to give a statement in front of the magistrate that she saw Geoffrey Charles give Drake the Bible as a present. \u003cem>Easy! Glad that's all sorted!\u003c/em> she thinks, before Ross bursts her bubble by reminding her that Malfoy is the magistrate. Demelza blows up at Ross for being too noble or whatever to accept the position when it was offered to him. Yeah, Ross, WTF!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"682\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to Malfoy's place. They argue over many points that, as always, boil down to who has the bigger penis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy makes Morwenna a proposition: He'll let Drake live, if she marries Gross Goblin. You know, this whole mess would come to a nice, swift conclusion if Morwenna just stabbed Malfoy to death. Just saying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's, Doc opens up about his survivor's guilt and admits that, while high thread counts and macarons and sex all are odious to him at the moment, he hopes to begin enjoying all three again soon -- maybe even at the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross' farm, Sam consoles Demelza by saying there's nothing they can do about Drake's imminent execution except pray. Actually, there's a lot both of you could do, but whatever. Right then, Drake walks up, a free man! Everyone celebrates! Morwenna will be moving in soon! All's well that ends well! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast. Mid jubilation, a letter comes inviting everyone to church. What they find is the end of Morwenna's wedding ceremony to Gross Goblin. Malfoy walks by a devastated Drake and co. with this smug look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Print it out and give it a good punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth (Again! Surprise!). \u003c/strong>Every villain has a good origin story, an early trauma that causes them to unleash terror. This week, we found out that Malfoy's reason was... someone put a toad in his pants one time.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Grow a thicker skin, dude. Geez. As for Elizabeth, everything she's done on this show has been entirely self-centered and awful. Marrying Ross' first cousin 'cause he took too long surviving the war? Repaying Demelza for nursing her back to life and sacrificing her own baby in the process by boinking her husband? Gleefully marrying off Morwenna in order to be invited to cooler parties? Get these two a one-way ticket to the ninth circle of Hell (that one is for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Nameless Prostitute\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Having her toes gobbled on by Gross Goblin must have been hard.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie. \u003c/strong>It's not her fault she's all \u003cem>Let them eat macarons!\u003c/em> Just one season ago, she thought poor people were gross and should die. She's come a long way. Give her a break, Doc! (Horace the Pug may or may not have slipped me a shilling or two to write this.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross.\u003c/strong> I vowed to hate him forever last season, but he's Good Samaritan-ed his way back into my heart. Now if he could come over and turn all the water that comes out of my kitchen faucet into wine, all will be officially forgiven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Drake.\u003c/strong> Shot in the back, clubbed in the back, broken up with every other day, jailed, sentenced to death, and robbed of his one true love. The material for his rap album is just piling up, and it'll all be worth it when he walks home with eight Grammys (which are worth way more than Geoffrey Charles' dumb little Bible). Hang in there, Drake! It gets better (*whispers* actually, it might not).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"id": "code-switch-life-kit",
"title": "Code Switch / Life Kit",
"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"meta": {
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw",
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"id": "forum",
"title": "Forum",
"tagline": "The conversation starts here",
"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal",
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"order": 9
},
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"id": "freakonomics-radio",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "http://freakonomics.com/",
"airtime": "SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm",
"meta": {
"site": "radio",
"source": "WNYC"
},
"link": "/radio/program/freakonomics-radio",
"subscribe": {
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/freakonomics-radio/id354668519",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/",
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},
"fresh-air": {
"id": "fresh-air",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"info": "A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. Hosted by Robin Young, Jeremy Hobson and Tonya Mosley.",
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"hidden-brain": {
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"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "NPR"
},
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"how-i-built-this": {
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"title": "How I Built This with Guy Raz",
"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"link": "/radio/program/how-i-built-this",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-i-built-this-with-guy-raz/id1150510297?mt=2",
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"hyphenacion": {
"id": "hyphenacion",
"title": "Hyphenación",
"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Hyphenacion_FinalAssets_PodcastTile.png",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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"order": 15
},
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},
"jerrybrown": {
"id": "jerrybrown",
"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-Political-Mind-of-Jerry-Brown-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
"meta": {
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"order": 18
},
"link": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
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},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
}
},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
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"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
"id": "masters-of-scale",
"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
"tagline": "A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids",
"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/mindshift/",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 12
},
"link": "/podcasts/mindshift",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
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}
},
"morning-edition": {
"id": "morning-edition",
"title": "Morning Edition",
"info": "\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 3am-9am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/",
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"link": "/radio/program/morning-edition"
},
"onourwatch": {
"id": "onourwatch",
"title": "On Our Watch",
"tagline": "Deeply-reported investigative journalism",
"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/On-Our-Watch-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "On Our Watch from NPR and KQED",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "kqed",
"order": 11
},
"link": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1567098962",
"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM2MC9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbD9zYz1nb29nbGVwb2RjYXN0cw",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510360/podcast.xml"
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},
"on-the-media": {
"id": "on-the-media",
"title": "On The Media",
"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
"airtime": "SUN 2pm-3pm, MON 12am-1am",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/onTheMedia.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.wnycstudios.org/shows/otm",
"meta": {
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"source": "wnyc"
},
"link": "/radio/program/on-the-media",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/on-the-media/id73330715?mt=2",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/On-the-Media-p69/",
"rss": "http://feeds.wnyc.org/onthemedia"
}
},
"pbs-newshour": {
"id": "pbs-newshour",
"title": "PBS NewsHour",
"info": "Analysis, background reports and updates from the PBS NewsHour putting today's news in context.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 3pm-4pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/PBS-News-Hour-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.pbs.org/newshour/",
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"source": "pbs"
},
"link": "/radio/program/pbs-newshour",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pbs-newshour-full-show/id394432287?mt=2",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/PBS-NewsHour---Full-Show-p425698/",
"rss": "https://www.pbs.org/newshour/feeds/rss/podcasts/show"
}
},
"perspectives": {
"id": "perspectives",
"title": "Perspectives",
"tagline": "KQED's series of daily listener commentaries since 1991",
"info": "KQED's series of daily listener commentaries since 1991.",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Perspectives_Tile_Final.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Perspectives",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/perspectives/",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 14
},
"link": "/perspectives",
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"npr": "https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432309616/perspectives",
"rss": "https://ww2.kqed.org/perspectives/category/perspectives/feed/",
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},
"planet-money": {
"id": "planet-money",
"title": "Planet Money",
"info": "The economy explained. Imagine you could call up a friend and say, Meet me at the bar and tell me what's going on with the economy. Now imagine that's actually a fun evening.",
"airtime": "SUN 3pm-4pm",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/planetmoney.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/sections/money/",
"meta": {
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"source": "npr"
},
"link": "/radio/program/planet-money",
"subscribe": {
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/planet-money/id290783428?mt=2",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510289/podcast.xml"
}
},
"politicalbreakdown": {
"id": "politicalbreakdown",
"title": "Political Breakdown",
"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
"airtime": "THU 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Political-Breakdown-2024-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/politicalbreakdown",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 5
},
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