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"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Back in August, I warned that Lifetime, destroyer of all cultural iconography we hold dear, was planning on making a movie about the life of Britney Jean Spears. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/24/lifetime-rudely-plans-tv-movie-based-on-the-life-of-britney-spears/\">I did not want it then\u003c/a>. And, after seeing the first images coming out from the set, I \u003cstrong>DEFINITELY\u003c/strong> don't want it now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before we take a look, I advise anyone who is triggered by the disfigurement of cherished '90s pop icons to flee from here at once.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone else, gird yourselves, and come with me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50704\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50704\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"794\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/1462466472-amy-poehler-no.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50724\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/1462466472-amy-poehler-no.gif\" alt=\"1462466472-amy-poehler-no\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/24/lifetime-rudely-plans-tv-movie-based-on-the-life-of-britney-spears/\">said it before\u003c/a> and I'll say it again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Other than also being a human woman, I’m not really seeing a resemblance. Plus, she’s Australian! Was \u003ca href=\"http://thefilmexperience.net/storage/tv/enter-derrick.gif?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1457628788779\">Derrick Barry\u003c/a> not available?\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50703\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50703\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"728\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-160x220.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-240x330.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-375x516.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-520x716.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50723\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"giphy-10\" width=\"240\" height=\"196\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Covering up this actress' face is a good idea, considering she doesn't look like Britney at all. And that's supposed to be Justin Timberlake, I guess. I don't like the guy because of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/04/nipplegate-revisited-why-america-owes-janet-jackson-a-huge-apology/\">Nipplegate\u003c/a> and some \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/17/when-will-justin-timberlake-stop-bringing-up-britneys-cheating-for-sympathy-never/\">other\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/17/when-will-justin-timberlake-stop-bringing-up-britneys-cheating-for-sympathy-never/\">reasons\u003c/a>, but this casting choice is pretty rude. This guy is a 3 at the most, Justin is at least a 5.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50701\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50701\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-520x346.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-13.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50722\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-13.gif\" alt=\"giphy-13\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you squint really hard, after getting hopped up on Pixie Stix and drinking a lot of tequila, this \u003cem>might\u003c/em> look like Backstreet Boys, but *NSYNC? Really? To quote the Gospel according to JT and co.:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_inline_n4t9hcKTYg1r39le4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50713\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_inline_n4t9hcKTYg1r39le4.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_n4t9hcktyg1r39le4\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50714\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg\" alt=\"britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2\" width=\"620\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-240x163.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-375x254.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-520x352.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For comparison:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50725\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\" alt=\"b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f\" width=\"500\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This means that the creators of this Lifetime movie definitely used Britney and Kevin's reality show, \u003cem>Chaotic\u003c/em>, as source material, which means they will definitely do the most with the following iconic (and kind of sad) scene:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu_NJMDkx90\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50702\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50702\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"794\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-14.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50720\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-14.gif\" alt=\"giphy-14\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, two things:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Let's be real: the people who will watch this movie also watch \u003cem>RuPaul's Drag Race\u003c/em> and can clock a fine wig when they see one. This is not a fine wig. This is a mockery. \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUc01MjDRp8\">Go back to Party City where you belong.\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>If Kevin actually looked this hot, I would finally understand what Britney was thinking.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>In summation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-17.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-17.gif\" alt=\"giphy-17\" width=\"245\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50733\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-16.gif\" alt=\"giphy-16\" width=\"245\" height=\"188\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-gif.gif\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50732\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-gif.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50736\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"370\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-15.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50737\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-15.gif\" alt=\"giphy-15\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>If you want more thoughts and feelings about this biopic, I dumped all of mine here for you:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/24/lifetime-rudely-plans-tv-movie-based-on-the-life-of-britney-spears/\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "I advise anyone who is triggered by the disfigurement of cherished '90s pop icons to flee from here at once. Everyone else, come with me.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Back in August, I warned that Lifetime, destroyer of all cultural iconography we hold dear, was planning on making a movie about the life of Britney Jean Spears. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/24/lifetime-rudely-plans-tv-movie-based-on-the-life-of-britney-spears/\">I did not want it then\u003c/a>. And, after seeing the first images coming out from the set, I \u003cstrong>DEFINITELY\u003c/strong> don't want it now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before we take a look, I advise anyone who is triggered by the disfigurement of cherished '90s pop icons to flee from here at once.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone else, gird yourselves, and come with me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50704\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50704\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"794\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-005.nocrop.w529.h848-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/1462466472-amy-poehler-no.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50724\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/1462466472-amy-poehler-no.gif\" alt=\"1462466472-amy-poehler-no\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/24/lifetime-rudely-plans-tv-movie-based-on-the-life-of-britney-spears/\">said it before\u003c/a> and I'll say it again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Other than also being a human woman, I’m not really seeing a resemblance. Plus, she’s Australian! Was \u003ca href=\"http://thefilmexperience.net/storage/tv/enter-derrick.gif?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1457628788779\">Derrick Barry\u003c/a> not available?\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50703\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50703\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"728\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-160x220.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-240x330.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-375x516.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-006.nocrop.w529.h777-520x716.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50723\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"giphy-10\" width=\"240\" height=\"196\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Covering up this actress' face is a good idea, considering she doesn't look like Britney at all. And that's supposed to be Justin Timberlake, I guess. I don't like the guy because of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/04/nipplegate-revisited-why-america-owes-janet-jackson-a-huge-apology/\">Nipplegate\u003c/a> and some \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/17/when-will-justin-timberlake-stop-bringing-up-britneys-cheating-for-sympathy-never/\">other\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/08/17/when-will-justin-timberlake-stop-bringing-up-britneys-cheating-for-sympathy-never/\">reasons\u003c/a>, but this casting choice is pretty rude. This guy is a 3 at the most, Justin is at least a 5.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50701\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50701\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-240x160.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-375x250.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-003.w529.h352-520x346.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-13.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50722\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-13.gif\" alt=\"giphy-13\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you squint really hard, after getting hopped up on Pixie Stix and drinking a lot of tequila, this \u003cem>might\u003c/em> look like Backstreet Boys, but *NSYNC? Really? To quote the Gospel according to JT and co.:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_inline_n4t9hcKTYg1r39le4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50713\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_inline_n4t9hcKTYg1r39le4.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_n4t9hcktyg1r39le4\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50714\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg\" alt=\"britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2\" width=\"620\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-160x108.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-240x163.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-375x254.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-lifetime-movie-2-520x352.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For comparison:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50725\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\" alt=\"b4f62b50-20b6-0132-4e43-0ebc4eccb42f\" width=\"500\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This means that the creators of this Lifetime movie definitely used Britney and Kevin's reality show, \u003cem>Chaotic\u003c/em>, as source material, which means they will definitely do the most with the following iconic (and kind of sad) scene:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qu_NJMDkx90'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qu_NJMDkx90'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_50702\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 529px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-50702\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Lifetime\" width=\"529\" height=\"794\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848.jpg 529w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/01-britney-spears-lifetime-001.nocrop.w529.h848-520x780.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 529px) 100vw, 529px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Lifetime\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-14.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50720\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-14.gif\" alt=\"giphy-14\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, two things:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Let's be real: the people who will watch this movie also watch \u003cem>RuPaul's Drag Race\u003c/em> and can clock a fine wig when they see one. This is not a fine wig. This is a mockery. \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUc01MjDRp8\">Go back to Party City where you belong.\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>If Kevin actually looked this hot, I would finally understand what Britney was thinking.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>In summation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-17.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-50727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-17.gif\" alt=\"giphy-17\" width=\"245\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50733\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-16.gif\" alt=\"giphy-16\" width=\"245\" height=\"188\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-gif.gif\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50732\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/britney-spears-gif.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50736\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m6dek8wndi1r3ty02o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"370\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-15.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-50737\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/12/giphy-15.gif\" alt=\"giphy-15\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>If you want more thoughts and feelings about this biopic, I dumped all of mine here for you:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"PARRDU4HDrVnJFv4loWlLkOtfSDE3RmJ\"]A few months ago, news broke that the real \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> mansion was on the market.\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/05/27/the-real-full-house-home-is-up-for-sale-take-a-look-inside/\"> I appealed to you readers\u003c/a> -- and the universe, in general -- to gift me $4.15 million so I could move into and hold raves in the pop culture landmark. \u003cstrong>Spoiler alert:\u003c/strong> That didn't happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But someone did have the funds to snatch this piece of '90s nostalgia, and it happens to be someone we know: none other than Jeff Franklin, the creator of \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>! Here he is in front of my... I mean, his house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.instagram.com/p/BNfCptRDADp/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I'm so sentimental about the house. It's great to have the house in our \u003cem>Full House \u003c/em>family and be able to preserve it for the fans... Seriously, I \u003cem>love\u003c/em> owning this house,\" Franklin \u003ca href=\"http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/full-house-creator-purchases-original-tanner-house-san-francisco-951273?utm_source=twitter&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral\">told \u003cem>The Hollywood Reporter\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the first orders of business after purchasing the property was changing the color of the front door from a sacrilegious sea foam to the appropriate red that fans of the show know and love. And Franklin also has plans to change pretty much everything about the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/05/27/the-real-full-house-home-is-up-for-sale-take-a-look-inside/\">current interior of the house\u003c/a> to reflect the \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> set -- and to open up the possibility of shooting the Netflix reboot \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/02/fuller-house-every-single-wtf-moment-from-season-1/\">\u003cem>Fuller House\u003c/em>\u003c/a> there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This is all very cute and full-circle and all, but what's in it for me\u003c/em>, you might be wondering. Well, Franklin is also interested in renting the house to fans who've always dreamed of crashing at Danny Tanner's immaculately clean house. I call dibs on Uncle Jesse's old room (maybe he'll come back for \u003ca href=\"https://m.popkey.co/da6d1e/vzpww.gif\">his framed pink bunny wallpaper\u003c/a> and, um, stay awhile, if you know what I mean, and I think you do?). Hey, stranger things have happened, like \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>, a cute, saccharine, not-that-good show retaining relevance for multiple decades. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wanna take a peek inside the \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> mansion? I'll answer for you: yes, you do, because there's an entire room dedicated to mallards. Check it out:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/05/27/the-real-full-house-home-is-up-for-sale-take-a-look-inside/\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\"I'm so sentimental about the house. It's great to have the house in our \u003cem>Full House \u003c/em>family and be able to preserve it for the fans... Seriously, I \u003cem>love\u003c/em> owning this house,\" Franklin \u003ca href=\"http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/full-house-creator-purchases-original-tanner-house-san-francisco-951273?utm_source=twitter&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral\">told \u003cem>The Hollywood Reporter\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the first orders of business after purchasing the property was changing the color of the front door from a sacrilegious sea foam to the appropriate red that fans of the show know and love. And Franklin also has plans to change pretty much everything about the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/05/27/the-real-full-house-home-is-up-for-sale-take-a-look-inside/\">current interior of the house\u003c/a> to reflect the \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> set -- and to open up the possibility of shooting the Netflix reboot \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/02/fuller-house-every-single-wtf-moment-from-season-1/\">\u003cem>Fuller House\u003c/em>\u003c/a> there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza briefly got her groove back, but then almost got raped (*sigh*). Will Demelza stumble upon a time machine with the ability to transport her to a time when women are truly equal and don't have to worry about that kind of stuff (not 2016, evidently)? Will Demelza finally get an annulment and go on a fun\u003cem> Thelma and Louise\u003c/em>-style road trip with Verity, minus the explosive ending? Will some merciful disaster occur inside the mine so it can close forever, sparing us from more boring underground storylines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We kick things off with a scene of Demelza picking flowers. Maybe she's planning on leaving them on Ross' grave after she rightfully murders him dead? No one would blame you, Demelza. Just do it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the newly successful mine, everyone is acting like they're in a Rihanna music video, coins falling all over their twerking bodies. Ross is still sad, though, because he's a miserable person and, as the aphorism goes, mo' money, mo' problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1351.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49534\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1351.gif\" alt=\"1351\" width=\"400\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's mansion, Malfoy has officially moved in, causing Elizabeth's son to ask two really important questions: 1. Who dis? and 2. Are you two serious? Malfoy answers the second question with a strong yes, as he orders servants to take down the portrait of the boy's father, who was unceremoniously murdered by a random puddle just a few episodes ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a nearby forest, Malfoy has instructed his Slytherin cronies to construct a fence around Elizabeth's property. The poor people are like, \u003cem>Um, no, we hang out here\u003c/em>. One of the cronies responds by smashing a rifle butt into their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross takes out a big sack of coins and tries to use their shininess to distract Demelza from the fact that he's a monster. Just like in the last episode, Demelza does not fall for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's former home, Horace the Pug is nowhere to be found (*sob*). But Blondie's uncle is there, oversharing details about his \"unusually sweet\" urine with Doc. He apparently has \"the sugar sickness,\" which is the karmic price you pay when you stand in the way of Horace's mom's marriage. Sorry not sorry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because Doc is saving his life and all, Blondie's uncle is like, \u003cem>So, hey, sorry about calling you trash a few weeks ago and promising to destroy you. Anywho, Blondie is engaged to someone who is definitely not you. K, thanks for all the help, bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc immediately enlists in the war, a move that's drama queen-y enough without what he says while doing it: \"I may not return to these shores for years. Or at all!\" And to think all of this could have been avoided if he had an outlet like LiveJournal to vent all his emo feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Malfoy and Ross spend days and days sending sassy notes back and forth to each other. Finally, they agree to meet. Malfoy wants to get his hands on some of Ross' mine shares because he, too, wants to know what it feels like to be in a Rihanna music video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the umpteenth time, the phrase \"scullery maid\" is used as a pejorative. I'm sick of this show's uninspired trash talk, and so is Ross, who punches Malfoy in the face. Malfoy smashes Ross' head into a grandfather clock (cool!), Ross smashes Malfoy into a bookshelf (eh, not as cool, but ok!), and then Ross grabs Malfoy and tries to set his head on fire in the fireplace (THE COOLEST!). I hate you, Ross, but thanks for at least keeping things interesting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a few Slytherin cronies haul Ross out of the house, Malfoy runs upstairs to brag to Elizabeth about how he totally clobbered Ross. \"I hope he will have learned his lesson,\" she replies, despite the fact that she just found out Ross let his own family starve so that she could have some pocket change. Elizabeth, congratulations on being the worst on a show full of horrible people!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Doc tells Demelza he's off to die in the war. Demelza is bummed because he's the only person left around these parts that she can stand. Their convo is interrupted by a bloody Ross. Demelza's entire body turns into a\u003cem> I'm-so-tired-of-your-crap\u003c/em> eye roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/annoyedface.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49535\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/annoyedface.gif\" alt=\"annoyedface\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finds her upstairs and tries to get a reaction out of her by threatening to go to war. Demelza handles it like a boss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Why? Cause your dearest friend is running away and so must you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Obviously the thought of leaving you and Jeremy...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Wouldn't be the first time you've considered such a thing. Go to war, Ross. Play soldiers. Or stay home and save all of Cornwall. What it is to be married to such a great man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/b26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49536\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/b26.gif\" alt=\"b26\" width=\"328\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Game, set, match.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross finds out Blondie was the secret benefactor who helped save him from debtor's prison. He goes home to tell Demelza, but the conversation veers off into her gleefully confessing to \"kissing and caressing\" Overly Trimmed Mustache. Ross and his man-baby ego go nuclear: \"I tell you, I do not admire you for this! It does you no credit!\" I guess that whole pot-kettle saying wasn't invented yet? Then both Demelza and Ross wonder why they are married. Welcome, you two. I've been wondering the same thing for MANY WEEKS OF MY LIFE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*takes deep breath* Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes. Ross storms off to brattily try on a military uniform. And Demelza storms off to casually deliver Verity's baby. No big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of babies, Elizabeth is pregnant. Whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1287347561085.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49537\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1287347561085.gif\" alt=\"1287347561085\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross heads to London to thank Blondie for the money. (Horace must have had a previous engagement because he's nowhere to be found.) It is revealed that Blondie is not, in fact, engaged because it's hard to find another hot dude who's obsessed with helping poor people (her new type). Ross mentions that Doc is so upset about not getting to hang out with Horace (and her, I guess) that he's heading off to war to get shot in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Verity's house, she becomes the Yoda to Demelza's Luke Skywalker: \u003cem>Follow your heart, you must! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza decides her heart is telling her to go over to Elizabeth's house and rip her a new one. She catches Elizabeth in the garden and their conversation goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Eek!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>That's right. It's me. Let's do this.\u003c/em> *cracks knuckles*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, does your husband know you're out and about without his permission?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I'm a feminist and I do what I want.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanist.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> *eye roll* \u003cem>Anyway, I came here to say I hate your guts and that you can have Ross because being married to him suuuuuucks and you deserve to feel that punishment. I'm moving back home to record my 18th century version of a Taylor Swift breakup album. Talk to ya never!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks off, thinking \u003cem>Nailed it!\u003c/em> to herself. She climbs over the new property fence on her way home and GETS SHOT (!!!) by one of Malfoy's Slytherin cronies, who then walks up and threatens to shoot her again until she's dead. Someone please Amazon Prime this dude a crate of chill.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in town, Doc is getting drunk with all his other comrades who are also about to get shot in the face. Ross shows up because drinking and avoiding responsibility is his jam. They take a few tequila shots and then Ross complicates Doc's buzz by telling him he went to see Blondie and that's she's not actually engaged. \u003cstrong>Lesson:\u003c/strong> R\u003cem>emember to make sure gossip is true before you dramatically sign up to die in a war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that's not all! Blondie appears amid the soon-to-be-dead soldiers. \u003cem>Surprise! We're getting back together! Now let's go to your room and have sex before you sail off to your death! Yay!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49538\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp\" width=\"470\" height=\"235\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village pub, all the poor people are really drunk and really pissed about the fence shooter trying to kill all of them for weeks. They decide to recreate the mob scene from \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza finds out and runs to warn Malfoy and Elizabeth, because when they go low, she goes high. But Malfoy and Elizabeth stay low by telling her that she's just jealous and is a liar and should go back to her scullery. All right then, enjoy being murdered and spending eternity in the ninth circle of Hell (that's the one for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on cue, the villagers set fire to the fence (and the rain). Malfoy and his Slytherin cronies meet them outside and threaten to shoot them. Demelza stands in the way of their guns because she's a good person and somehow isn't super jaded yet. A shot rings out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's Ross (it's cool he's doing something heroic and all, but still: ugh). He saves the day by calling off the mob, grabs Demelza and rides off. Elizabeth watches the whole thing go down from an upstairs window and has a Veruca Salt-level tantrum on the inside. Why can't she have Ross \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Malfoy's money at the same time?! Waaaah!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49547\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"480\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49546\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\" alt=\"veruca-salt-willy-wonka\" width=\"500\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Elizabeth has something real to cry about. Malfoy has decided Francis Jr. is too tight with Elizabeth and too girly and must be sent away to boarding school ASAP to \"toughen up\" and to make room for Malfoy's spawn. Elizabeth stops herself from disagreeing because men have much bigger brains and know best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza packs all her things. Ross eventually takes his head out of his butt long enough to notice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You're leaving me? I came back for you! I chose not to go to war!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"It's not my concern what you choose, only what I choose.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/vWJ5TaC.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49548\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/vWJ5TaC.gif\" alt=\"vwj5tac\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After an entire season of always saying the worst possible thing, Ross finally uses his words to apologize and let Demelza know he loves her and won't let Elizabeth come between them anymore. IT'S ABOUT TIME! WAS THAT SO HARD?? JESUS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Elizabeth's, Agatha swoops in to tell Elizabeth \u003cem>I told you so! \u003c/em>about Malfoy.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Still in deep denial, Elizabeth says that she thinks Malfoy will chill on all the evil plotting by the time their baby is born and maybe won't banish Francis Jr. away forever? Agatha is like, \u003cem>HA HA HA HA, you suck at basic math and biology. \u003c/em>Then Agatha invites Maury Povich out from behind a curtain to proclaim: \u003cem>Malfoy IS NOT the father! Ross is! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_l8hjeodHQy1qbipv3o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_l8hjeodHQy1qbipv3o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_l8hjeodhqy1qbipv3o1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/N8cXOzd.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/N8cXOzd.gif\" alt=\"n8cxozd\" width=\"650\" height=\"276\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza and Ross make out at the edge of a cliff. They both still hate their lives, but they have decided to hate their lives together. Glad this all sort of, kind of, but not really worked out for everyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is now over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross. \u003c/strong>He put us through so much this season: the glacially paced adultery, the terrible life decisions, the man-baby tantrums, all that boring mining. No amount of shirtless scything will make it right. Actually, fill season 3 with that and I might revisit my pledge to hate Ross for life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blondie. \u003c/strong>Props to her for giving up the whole I-wish-all-poor-people-would-just-die thing and transforming into a decent person. Here's hoping her boo doesn't get shot in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>He is the light of my life, the fire of my loins. Um, scratch that last part; too creepy. The point is: I love this dog. He deserves a spin-off. Maybe Jill Stein can raise enough money to make it happen?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Agatha. \u003c/strong>I want to grow up to be a no-nonsense lush who's always right about everything, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>I mean, duh.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. I'll be back in the recapping saddle starting January 15, 2017 for \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/series/victoria-s1/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Until then, keep up with my other work \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\">all over \u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\" target=\"_blank\">KQED Pop\u003c/a>. You can also hear my opinions on all things pop culture on \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Cooler \u003c/em>podcast\u003c/a>. And if Twitter is your thing, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\" target=\"_blank\">follow me\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Someone almost gets their face set on fire. Someone gives birth. And then more fire.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza briefly got her groove back, but then almost got raped (*sigh*). Will Demelza stumble upon a time machine with the ability to transport her to a time when women are truly equal and don't have to worry about that kind of stuff (not 2016, evidently)? Will Demelza finally get an annulment and go on a fun\u003cem> Thelma and Louise\u003c/em>-style road trip with Verity, minus the explosive ending? Will some merciful disaster occur inside the mine so it can close forever, sparing us from more boring underground storylines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We kick things off with a scene of Demelza picking flowers. Maybe she's planning on leaving them on Ross' grave after she rightfully murders him dead? No one would blame you, Demelza. Just do it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the newly successful mine, everyone is acting like they're in a Rihanna music video, coins falling all over their twerking bodies. Ross is still sad, though, because he's a miserable person and, as the aphorism goes, mo' money, mo' problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1351.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49534\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1351.gif\" alt=\"1351\" width=\"400\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's mansion, Malfoy has officially moved in, causing Elizabeth's son to ask two really important questions: 1. Who dis? and 2. Are you two serious? Malfoy answers the second question with a strong yes, as he orders servants to take down the portrait of the boy's father, who was unceremoniously murdered by a random puddle just a few episodes ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a nearby forest, Malfoy has instructed his Slytherin cronies to construct a fence around Elizabeth's property. The poor people are like, \u003cem>Um, no, we hang out here\u003c/em>. One of the cronies responds by smashing a rifle butt into their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross takes out a big sack of coins and tries to use their shininess to distract Demelza from the fact that he's a monster. Just like in the last episode, Demelza does not fall for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's former home, Horace the Pug is nowhere to be found (*sob*). But Blondie's uncle is there, oversharing details about his \"unusually sweet\" urine with Doc. He apparently has \"the sugar sickness,\" which is the karmic price you pay when you stand in the way of Horace's mom's marriage. Sorry not sorry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because Doc is saving his life and all, Blondie's uncle is like, \u003cem>So, hey, sorry about calling you trash a few weeks ago and promising to destroy you. Anywho, Blondie is engaged to someone who is definitely not you. K, thanks for all the help, bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc immediately enlists in the war, a move that's drama queen-y enough without what he says while doing it: \"I may not return to these shores for years. Or at all!\" And to think all of this could have been avoided if he had an outlet like LiveJournal to vent all his emo feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Malfoy and Ross spend days and days sending sassy notes back and forth to each other. Finally, they agree to meet. Malfoy wants to get his hands on some of Ross' mine shares because he, too, wants to know what it feels like to be in a Rihanna music video.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the umpteenth time, the phrase \"scullery maid\" is used as a pejorative. I'm sick of this show's uninspired trash talk, and so is Ross, who punches Malfoy in the face. Malfoy smashes Ross' head into a grandfather clock (cool!), Ross smashes Malfoy into a bookshelf (eh, not as cool, but ok!), and then Ross grabs Malfoy and tries to set his head on fire in the fireplace (THE COOLEST!). I hate you, Ross, but thanks for at least keeping things interesting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a few Slytherin cronies haul Ross out of the house, Malfoy runs upstairs to brag to Elizabeth about how he totally clobbered Ross. \"I hope he will have learned his lesson,\" she replies, despite the fact that she just found out Ross let his own family starve so that she could have some pocket change. Elizabeth, congratulations on being the worst on a show full of horrible people!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Doc tells Demelza he's off to die in the war. Demelza is bummed because he's the only person left around these parts that she can stand. Their convo is interrupted by a bloody Ross. Demelza's entire body turns into a\u003cem> I'm-so-tired-of-your-crap\u003c/em> eye roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/annoyedface.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49535\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/annoyedface.gif\" alt=\"annoyedface\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finds her upstairs and tries to get a reaction out of her by threatening to go to war. Demelza handles it like a boss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Why? Cause your dearest friend is running away and so must you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Obviously the thought of leaving you and Jeremy...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Wouldn't be the first time you've considered such a thing. Go to war, Ross. Play soldiers. Or stay home and save all of Cornwall. What it is to be married to such a great man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/b26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49536\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/b26.gif\" alt=\"b26\" width=\"328\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Game, set, match.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross finds out Blondie was the secret benefactor who helped save him from debtor's prison. He goes home to tell Demelza, but the conversation veers off into her gleefully confessing to \"kissing and caressing\" Overly Trimmed Mustache. Ross and his man-baby ego go nuclear: \"I tell you, I do not admire you for this! It does you no credit!\" I guess that whole pot-kettle saying wasn't invented yet? Then both Demelza and Ross wonder why they are married. Welcome, you two. I've been wondering the same thing for MANY WEEKS OF MY LIFE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*takes deep breath* Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes. Ross storms off to brattily try on a military uniform. And Demelza storms off to casually deliver Verity's baby. No big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of babies, Elizabeth is pregnant. Whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1287347561085.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49537\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1287347561085.gif\" alt=\"1287347561085\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross heads to London to thank Blondie for the money. (Horace must have had a previous engagement because he's nowhere to be found.) It is revealed that Blondie is not, in fact, engaged because it's hard to find another hot dude who's obsessed with helping poor people (her new type). Ross mentions that Doc is so upset about not getting to hang out with Horace (and her, I guess) that he's heading off to war to get shot in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Verity's house, she becomes the Yoda to Demelza's Luke Skywalker: \u003cem>Follow your heart, you must! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza decides her heart is telling her to go over to Elizabeth's house and rip her a new one. She catches Elizabeth in the garden and their conversation goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Eek!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>That's right. It's me. Let's do this.\u003c/em> *cracks knuckles*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, does your husband know you're out and about without his permission?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I'm a feminist and I do what I want.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanist.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> *eye roll* \u003cem>Anyway, I came here to say I hate your guts and that you can have Ross because being married to him suuuuuucks and you deserve to feel that punishment. I'm moving back home to record my 18th century version of a Taylor Swift breakup album. Talk to ya never!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks off, thinking \u003cem>Nailed it!\u003c/em> to herself. She climbs over the new property fence on her way home and GETS SHOT (!!!) by one of Malfoy's Slytherin cronies, who then walks up and threatens to shoot her again until she's dead. Someone please Amazon Prime this dude a crate of chill.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in town, Doc is getting drunk with all his other comrades who are also about to get shot in the face. Ross shows up because drinking and avoiding responsibility is his jam. They take a few tequila shots and then Ross complicates Doc's buzz by telling him he went to see Blondie and that's she's not actually engaged. \u003cstrong>Lesson:\u003c/strong> R\u003cem>emember to make sure gossip is true before you dramatically sign up to die in a war.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that's not all! Blondie appears amid the soon-to-be-dead soldiers. \u003cem>Surprise! We're getting back together! Now let's go to your room and have sex before you sail off to your death! Yay!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49538\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_mrxxpgl38j1qz4rgp\" width=\"470\" height=\"235\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village pub, all the poor people are really drunk and really pissed about the fence shooter trying to kill all of them for weeks. They decide to recreate the mob scene from \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza finds out and runs to warn Malfoy and Elizabeth, because when they go low, she goes high. But Malfoy and Elizabeth stay low by telling her that she's just jealous and is a liar and should go back to her scullery. All right then, enjoy being murdered and spending eternity in the ninth circle of Hell (that's the one for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on cue, the villagers set fire to the fence (and the rain). Malfoy and his Slytherin cronies meet them outside and threaten to shoot them. Demelza stands in the way of their guns because she's a good person and somehow isn't super jaded yet. A shot rings out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's Ross (it's cool he's doing something heroic and all, but still: ugh). He saves the day by calling off the mob, grabs Demelza and rides off. Elizabeth watches the whole thing go down from an upstairs window and has a Veruca Salt-level tantrum on the inside. Why can't she have Ross \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Malfoy's money at the same time?! Waaaah!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49547\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"480\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49546\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\" alt=\"veruca-salt-willy-wonka\" width=\"500\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Elizabeth has something real to cry about. Malfoy has decided Francis Jr. is too tight with Elizabeth and too girly and must be sent away to boarding school ASAP to \"toughen up\" and to make room for Malfoy's spawn. Elizabeth stops herself from disagreeing because men have much bigger brains and know best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza packs all her things. Ross eventually takes his head out of his butt long enough to notice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You're leaving me? I came back for you! I chose not to go to war!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"It's not my concern what you choose, only what I choose.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/vWJ5TaC.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49548\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/vWJ5TaC.gif\" alt=\"vwj5tac\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After an entire season of always saying the worst possible thing, Ross finally uses his words to apologize and let Demelza know he loves her and won't let Elizabeth come between them anymore. IT'S ABOUT TIME! WAS THAT SO HARD?? JESUS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Elizabeth's, Agatha swoops in to tell Elizabeth \u003cem>I told you so! \u003c/em>about Malfoy.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Still in deep denial, Elizabeth says that she thinks Malfoy will chill on all the evil plotting by the time their baby is born and maybe won't banish Francis Jr. away forever? Agatha is like, \u003cem>HA HA HA HA, you suck at basic math and biology. \u003c/em>Then Agatha invites Maury Povich out from behind a curtain to proclaim: \u003cem>Malfoy IS NOT the father! Ross is! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_l8hjeodHQy1qbipv3o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_l8hjeodHQy1qbipv3o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_l8hjeodhqy1qbipv3o1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/N8cXOzd.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-49550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/N8cXOzd.gif\" alt=\"n8cxozd\" width=\"650\" height=\"276\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza and Ross make out at the edge of a cliff. They both still hate their lives, but they have decided to hate their lives together. Glad this all sort of, kind of, but not really worked out for everyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is now over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross. \u003c/strong>He put us through so much this season: the glacially paced adultery, the terrible life decisions, the man-baby tantrums, all that boring mining. No amount of shirtless scything will make it right. Actually, fill season 3 with that and I might revisit my pledge to hate Ross for life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blondie. \u003c/strong>Props to her for giving up the whole I-wish-all-poor-people-would-just-die thing and transforming into a decent person. Here's hoping her boo doesn't get shot in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>He is the light of my life, the fire of my loins. Um, scratch that last part; too creepy. The point is: I love this dog. He deserves a spin-off. Maybe Jill Stein can raise enough money to make it happen?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Agatha. \u003c/strong>I want to grow up to be a no-nonsense lush who's always right about everything, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>I mean, duh.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. I'll be back in the recapping saddle starting January 15, 2017 for \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/series/victoria-s1/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Until then, keep up with my other work \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\">all over \u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\" target=\"_blank\">KQED Pop\u003c/a>. You can also hear my opinions on all things pop culture on \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Cooler \u003c/em>podcast\u003c/a>. And if Twitter is your thing, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\" target=\"_blank\">follow me\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross completed his transformation into a raging monster by cheating on Demelza (just like we knew he would). Will Demelza burn all his possessions and then use the fire to light a cigarette? Will Ross and Elizabeth do everyone a favor and run off to Bali, never to be seen or heard from again? Will Horace the Pug make a much-needed cameo, just 'cause? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We find Ross in his office, deep in worried thought. He's stressing over how he betrayed Demelza, right? Nope! He's thinking about the mine, of course, because he's a sociopath. But let's focus on the positive: he has a black eye, courtesy of Demelza's right hook, and the mine has officially closed. Boring will-they-won't-they-find-copper subplot, begone!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza is officially over all of it. She's decided that, from now on, she will have breakfast served to her in bed and will refuse to do any chores. Being prissy and fancy worked out for Elizabeth, after all. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n41xg8yEoz1qgokjco2_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48736\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n41xg8yEoz1qgokjco2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n41xg8yeoz1qgokjco2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While commuting, Ross runs into Malfoy and they argue over who has the bigger penis (not literally, but isn't that what all of their tiffs are really about?). The answer is not revealed, but one thing is for sure: they're both pricks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she is very impatient for Ross to come back and proclaim, \u003cem>I dumped my wife and baby! Now let's have some more quasi-consensual sex! \u003c/em>She decides a bit of binge-drinking is in order. Alcoholic-in-residence Agatha approves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-13.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48737\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-13.gif\" alt=\"raw-13\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross arrives home and finds Demelza drinking tea and snacking in bed (you go, girl!). Demelza offers to help him pack (again, you go, girl!). Ross changes the subject to the mine. Nice try, Ross! Literally no one cares! When that distraction doesn't work, Ross changes tactics:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I realize that your pride is wounded.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"My pride?? 'Tis not my pride that is wounded, Ross. 'Tis my pride \u003cem>in you!\u003c/em>\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48682\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-33.gif\" alt=\"giphy-33\" width=\"480\" height=\"171\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she's still drunk and waiting. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross whines about Demelza icing him out. She responds that he can go cry about it on his pillow, which is now on an uncomfortable cot in the library.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross continues to dig his hole deeper and deeper with tone-deaf statements like: \"In the moment, I admit it, there was no thought of you\" and \"Perhaps I might've hoped for some understanding.\" Since words aren't really getting them anywhere, Demelza decides to communicate her feelings through flinging everything off the dinner table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-35.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48701\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-35.gif\" alt=\"giphy-35\" width=\"500\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's a start. Keep going.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-34.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48697\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-34.gif\" alt=\"giphy-34\" width=\"500\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's more like it! Now, put your back into it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48700\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-36.gif\" alt=\"giphy-36\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, that's it! Let it all out, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48698\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back.gif\" alt=\"real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back\" width=\"500\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Throw furniture at him! He's had it coming for so long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/throw-table-catch-chair.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48699\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/throw-table-catch-chair.gif\" alt=\"throw-table-catch-chair\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*satisfied sigh* I feel better, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy's, his lavish wedding planning grinds to a halt when he receives a letter from Elizabeth asking to postpone the wedding. A terrible setback for #TeamMalfoy'sPenisIsBigger.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, a servant arrives to formally invite Ross and Demelza to a rave. Demelza is like, \u003cem>SIGH. No thanks. Gotta stay home and fantasize about pulling a Lorena Bobbitt.\u003c/em> But then a thought strikes her. She will put on her red shoes and dance the blues (and maybe tongue wrestle a dude or two)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Elizabeth's, she hears horse hooves! She freaks out about Ross' return. What will she say? How should she act? Turns out she doesn't have to worry about answering those questions because it's just Verity. Elizabeth promptly faints.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/CherylLaugh.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48702\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/CherylLaugh.gif\" alt=\"cheryllaugh\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza pulls out her sexy red dress. She sings the lyrics to Shania Twain's \"Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright\u003cbr>\nGonna let it all hang out\u003cbr>\nWant to make some noise, Really raise my voice\u003cbr>\nYeah, I want to scream and shout\u003cbr>\nThe best thing about being a woman\u003cbr>\nIs the prerogative to have a little fun and...\u003cbr>\nOh oh oh go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady!\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross takes a business meeting with some dude who wants him to join in on a profitable business.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7HJH0IH3dc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some fancy estate, Demelza is getting settled in before the party. She takes a much-deserved shot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/800516981392687104\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza makes her grand entrance to the party. She's wearing makeup! She has a fake mole and a little heart drawn on one breast! All the women give her dirty looks and all the men slobber. Snatch that revenge, girl! You've earned it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy tries to get his Slytherin crony to seduce her so as to embarrass Ross, but another gets to her first: the military dude with the overly-trimmed mustache.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, Verity tells Elizabeth she knows what's bothering her. She must not feel right about marrying Malfoy because her heart still belongs to Francis, right? Surely, getting over the very recent death of one's husband must still be so very hard. Elizabeth pulls a muscle pretending that yes, all these hysterics are totally about Francis and not his much hotter cousin:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/a7c002df18.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48710\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/a7c002df18.gif\" alt=\"a7c002df18\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the rave, Demelza works up a sweat, twerking and dabbing and do-si-do-ing with Overly Trimmed Mustache. They take a break to chat about name origins. Demelza is Cornish for \"thy sweetness.\" Overly Trimmed Mustache tries to flirt: \"I would rather it meant \u003cem>my\u003c/em> sweetness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-37.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48711\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-37.gif\" alt=\"giphy-37\" width=\"310\" height=\"205\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's corny to the max, but he'll have to do. Demelza takes him outside and they make out. He seems like the kind of bad kisser that's only practiced on the back of his hand and he probably smells a little because he wears the same outfit every day of his life, but, you know, whatever it takes to get back at trifling, no-good Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the party, Demelza goes to her room and can't decide if she should lock her door or not. She takes too long to make up her mind and Overly Trimmed Mustache slips in, wearing a brand new outfit! (He must read all the mean things I write about his uniform in these recaps!) He immediately makes it clear that he is DTF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is not. Turns out she takes her marriage vows more seriously than Ross. Surely, Overly Trimmed Mustache will understand, right? Nope! He first tries to pressure her with words: \"Think for a moment of me, who's been looking forward to this encounter. Your duty now is not to your husband, but to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-38.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48713\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-38.gif\" alt=\"giphy-38\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite Demelza's polite refusal, Overly Trimmed Mustache tries to rape her anyway because we didn't get enough of that during the last episode. Demelza manages to physically overpower him and gets him to leave. She crumples down onto the bed and cries the same thing I do every Sunday night: \"Ross, I hate you! I hate you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Slytherin Crony and the old dude who hosted the rave argue outside of Demelza's door over who gets \"first pick.\" She listens as they consider whether she might be into a threesome and ultimately toss a coin over her. One rape attempt is more than enough for a lifetime so Demelza flees out of the window.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a long night of drinking at the bar with his buddies and being emo over his failed mine, Ross heads to Elizabeth's house. She sees him from the window and thinks, \u003cem>Yay! I won! He's leaving his wife and child for me! Weeee!\u003c/em> But then Ross changes his mind and gallops away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-39.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48721\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-39.gif\" alt=\"giphy-39\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gets home to find that Demelza has been out all night. How dare she go somewhere without his permission! Doesn't she know she's Ross' property? Since I'm not there in person, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen stand in for me and give him deadly, sideways \u003cem>Are you f-ing serious?\u003c/em> looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races around Cornwall to find Demelza and make sure no one has been kissing her. He finds her walking in the sea, mascara tears all over her face. Instead of apologizing for everything that's happened since he came into her life, he tells her this: \"If you could bide a while, have a little patience, this thing will play itself out... sooner or later.\" Wow. Add this to the long list of reasons why I wish Ross had been found guilty and hanged earlier this season. Demelza's reaction says it all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48734\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-11-20-at-4-35-45-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-768x426.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM.png 1231w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she chucks her needlepointing and goes on a rant that would even make Kanye jealous about how Ross always abandons her. There was that whole fighting-for-his-country-and-barely-surviving thing, and now this? Screw it! She's tired of waiting!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to her wedding with Malfoy. She apparently didn't get the memo that \"None of the above\" was an option.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the bad news keeps rolling in: Ross finds enough money to reopen the mine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/why.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48722\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/why.gif\" alt=\"why\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sensing that I am \u003cem>this close\u003c/em> to turning off this episode and quitting this recap, the writers throw me a bone -- a dog bone, to be precise. Horace the Pug is back!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48733\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horaceeee\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee.jpg 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And he's wearing a Ruth Bader Ginsburg-esque jabot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10201\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\" alt=\"beyonce god is real\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an alternate universe where everything is good, the rest of the episode is just Horace snacking and napping and playing and barking. But we live in a cruel world, so we have to watch Ross work in the mine some more. He finds a lot of valuable tin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"no-one-cares-hunter-e2-99-a5-35130856-391-331\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs home to tell Demelza that he's about to be kind of rich. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Keep it.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needing his baby-man ego stroked, Ross rushes over to Elizabeth's house and sees her returning from her honeymoon with Malfoy. Elizabeth spots him and gives him a death glare. Like always, Ross feels sorry for himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross.\u003c/strong> Demelza said it best: \"Ross, I hate you! I hate you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Verity. \u003c/strong>For causing Elizabeth to faint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Whoever Made Horace's Jabot\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Bless this craftsperson for making the world more beautiful and tender.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The rainbow that springs forth from this dark cloud of a show when we need it most.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>So glad she got her party on. And kudos to her for not murdering Ross, chopping him into little bits, and using said little bits as bait on her next fishing trip. I bow to her self-restraint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> and read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Demelza gets her groove back.",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman! | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross completed his transformation into a raging monster by cheating on Demelza (just like we knew he would). Will Demelza burn all his possessions and then use the fire to light a cigarette? Will Ross and Elizabeth do everyone a favor and run off to Bali, never to be seen or heard from again? Will Horace the Pug make a much-needed cameo, just 'cause? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We find Ross in his office, deep in worried thought. He's stressing over how he betrayed Demelza, right? Nope! He's thinking about the mine, of course, because he's a sociopath. But let's focus on the positive: he has a black eye, courtesy of Demelza's right hook, and the mine has officially closed. Boring will-they-won't-they-find-copper subplot, begone!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza is officially over all of it. She's decided that, from now on, she will have breakfast served to her in bed and will refuse to do any chores. Being prissy and fancy worked out for Elizabeth, after all. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n41xg8yEoz1qgokjco2_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48736\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n41xg8yEoz1qgokjco2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n41xg8yeoz1qgokjco2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While commuting, Ross runs into Malfoy and they argue over who has the bigger penis (not literally, but isn't that what all of their tiffs are really about?). The answer is not revealed, but one thing is for sure: they're both pricks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she is very impatient for Ross to come back and proclaim, \u003cem>I dumped my wife and baby! Now let's have some more quasi-consensual sex! \u003c/em>She decides a bit of binge-drinking is in order. Alcoholic-in-residence Agatha approves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-13.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48737\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-13.gif\" alt=\"raw-13\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross arrives home and finds Demelza drinking tea and snacking in bed (you go, girl!). Demelza offers to help him pack (again, you go, girl!). Ross changes the subject to the mine. Nice try, Ross! Literally no one cares! When that distraction doesn't work, Ross changes tactics:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I realize that your pride is wounded.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"My pride?? 'Tis not my pride that is wounded, Ross. 'Tis my pride \u003cem>in you!\u003c/em>\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48682\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-33.gif\" alt=\"giphy-33\" width=\"480\" height=\"171\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she's still drunk and waiting. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross whines about Demelza icing him out. She responds that he can go cry about it on his pillow, which is now on an uncomfortable cot in the library.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross continues to dig his hole deeper and deeper with tone-deaf statements like: \"In the moment, I admit it, there was no thought of you\" and \"Perhaps I might've hoped for some understanding.\" Since words aren't really getting them anywhere, Demelza decides to communicate her feelings through flinging everything off the dinner table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-35.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48701\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-35.gif\" alt=\"giphy-35\" width=\"500\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's a start. Keep going.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-34.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48697\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-34.gif\" alt=\"giphy-34\" width=\"500\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's more like it! Now, put your back into it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48700\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-36.gif\" alt=\"giphy-36\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, that's it! Let it all out, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48698\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back.gif\" alt=\"real-housewives-new-jersey-drama-back\" width=\"500\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Throw furniture at him! He's had it coming for so long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/throw-table-catch-chair.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48699\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/throw-table-catch-chair.gif\" alt=\"throw-table-catch-chair\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*satisfied sigh* I feel better, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy's, his lavish wedding planning grinds to a halt when he receives a letter from Elizabeth asking to postpone the wedding. A terrible setback for #TeamMalfoy'sPenisIsBigger.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, a servant arrives to formally invite Ross and Demelza to a rave. Demelza is like, \u003cem>SIGH. No thanks. Gotta stay home and fantasize about pulling a Lorena Bobbitt.\u003c/em> But then a thought strikes her. She will put on her red shoes and dance the blues (and maybe tongue wrestle a dude or two)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Elizabeth's, she hears horse hooves! She freaks out about Ross' return. What will she say? How should she act? Turns out she doesn't have to worry about answering those questions because it's just Verity. Elizabeth promptly faints.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/CherylLaugh.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48702\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/CherylLaugh.gif\" alt=\"cheryllaugh\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza pulls out her sexy red dress. She sings the lyrics to Shania Twain's \"Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright\u003cbr>\nGonna let it all hang out\u003cbr>\nWant to make some noise, Really raise my voice\u003cbr>\nYeah, I want to scream and shout\u003cbr>\nThe best thing about being a woman\u003cbr>\nIs the prerogative to have a little fun and...\u003cbr>\nOh oh oh go totally crazy, forget I'm a lady!\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross takes a business meeting with some dude who wants him to join in on a profitable business.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>At some fancy estate, Demelza is getting settled in before the party. She takes a much-deserved shot.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Demelza makes her grand entrance to the party. She's wearing makeup! She has a fake mole and a little heart drawn on one breast! All the women give her dirty looks and all the men slobber. Snatch that revenge, girl! You've earned it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy tries to get his Slytherin crony to seduce her so as to embarrass Ross, but another gets to her first: the military dude with the overly-trimmed mustache.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, Verity tells Elizabeth she knows what's bothering her. She must not feel right about marrying Malfoy because her heart still belongs to Francis, right? Surely, getting over the very recent death of one's husband must still be so very hard. Elizabeth pulls a muscle pretending that yes, all these hysterics are totally about Francis and not his much hotter cousin:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/a7c002df18.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48710\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/a7c002df18.gif\" alt=\"a7c002df18\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the rave, Demelza works up a sweat, twerking and dabbing and do-si-do-ing with Overly Trimmed Mustache. They take a break to chat about name origins. Demelza is Cornish for \"thy sweetness.\" Overly Trimmed Mustache tries to flirt: \"I would rather it meant \u003cem>my\u003c/em> sweetness.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-37.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48711\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-37.gif\" alt=\"giphy-37\" width=\"310\" height=\"205\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's corny to the max, but he'll have to do. Demelza takes him outside and they make out. He seems like the kind of bad kisser that's only practiced on the back of his hand and he probably smells a little because he wears the same outfit every day of his life, but, you know, whatever it takes to get back at trifling, no-good Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the party, Demelza goes to her room and can't decide if she should lock her door or not. She takes too long to make up her mind and Overly Trimmed Mustache slips in, wearing a brand new outfit! (He must read all the mean things I write about his uniform in these recaps!) He immediately makes it clear that he is DTF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is not. Turns out she takes her marriage vows more seriously than Ross. Surely, Overly Trimmed Mustache will understand, right? Nope! He first tries to pressure her with words: \"Think for a moment of me, who's been looking forward to this encounter. Your duty now is not to your husband, but to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-38.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48713\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-38.gif\" alt=\"giphy-38\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite Demelza's polite refusal, Overly Trimmed Mustache tries to rape her anyway because we didn't get enough of that during the last episode. Demelza manages to physically overpower him and gets him to leave. She crumples down onto the bed and cries the same thing I do every Sunday night: \"Ross, I hate you! I hate you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Slytherin Crony and the old dude who hosted the rave argue outside of Demelza's door over who gets \"first pick.\" She listens as they consider whether she might be into a threesome and ultimately toss a coin over her. One rape attempt is more than enough for a lifetime so Demelza flees out of the window.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a long night of drinking at the bar with his buddies and being emo over his failed mine, Ross heads to Elizabeth's house. She sees him from the window and thinks, \u003cem>Yay! I won! He's leaving his wife and child for me! Weeee!\u003c/em> But then Ross changes his mind and gallops away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-39.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48721\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-39.gif\" alt=\"giphy-39\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gets home to find that Demelza has been out all night. How dare she go somewhere without his permission! Doesn't she know she's Ross' property? Since I'm not there in person, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen stand in for me and give him deadly, sideways \u003cem>Are you f-ing serious?\u003c/em> looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races around Cornwall to find Demelza and make sure no one has been kissing her. He finds her walking in the sea, mascara tears all over her face. Instead of apologizing for everything that's happened since he came into her life, he tells her this: \"If you could bide a while, have a little patience, this thing will play itself out... sooner or later.\" Wow. Add this to the long list of reasons why I wish Ross had been found guilty and hanged earlier this season. Demelza's reaction says it all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48734\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-11-20-at-4-35-45-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-768x426.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-20-at-4.35.45-PM.png 1231w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she chucks her needlepointing and goes on a rant that would even make Kanye jealous about how Ross always abandons her. There was that whole fighting-for-his-country-and-barely-surviving thing, and now this? Screw it! She's tired of waiting!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to her wedding with Malfoy. She apparently didn't get the memo that \"None of the above\" was an option.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the bad news keeps rolling in: Ross finds enough money to reopen the mine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/why.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48722\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/why.gif\" alt=\"why\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sensing that I am \u003cem>this close\u003c/em> to turning off this episode and quitting this recap, the writers throw me a bone -- a dog bone, to be precise. Horace the Pug is back!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-48733\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horaceeee\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horaceeee.jpg 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And he's wearing a Ruth Bader Ginsburg-esque jabot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10201\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\" alt=\"beyonce god is real\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an alternate universe where everything is good, the rest of the episode is just Horace snacking and napping and playing and barking. But we live in a cruel world, so we have to watch Ross work in the mine some more. He finds a lot of valuable tin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"no-one-cares-hunter-e2-99-a5-35130856-391-331\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs home to tell Demelza that he's about to be kind of rich. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Keep it.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needing his baby-man ego stroked, Ross rushes over to Elizabeth's house and sees her returning from her honeymoon with Malfoy. Elizabeth spots him and gives him a death glare. Like always, Ross feels sorry for himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross.\u003c/strong> Demelza said it best: \"Ross, I hate you! I hate you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Verity. \u003c/strong>For causing Elizabeth to faint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Whoever Made Horace's Jabot\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Bless this craftsperson for making the world more beautiful and tender.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The rainbow that springs forth from this dark cloud of a show when we need it most.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>So glad she got her party on. And kudos to her for not murdering Ross, chopping him into little bits, and using said little bits as bait on her next fishing trip. I bow to her self-restraint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> and read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross did everything in his power to get in trouble with the law again, Demelza did everything in her power to not stab him, and Murphy's Law did everything in its power to prevent Doc, Blondie and Horace the Pug from eloping and finding bliss. Will Ross be hanged, turning \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> into a show only about Demelza, Agatha, and all the cool animals? Will Demelza finally get an annulment and pursue a career as a pop star in the big city? Will Elizabeth take a much-needed break from being super-duper annoying? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After barely escaping arrest and death, Ross should be lying low right about now. He's not, of course. Instead, he's getting letters from his Illegal Smuggling Boss. Demelza has had it. Officially.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Judas, Ross! Will you never learn?!?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Possibly not.\" *smug smirk*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kill him, Demelza. Just kill him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Ross is already in court. The judge is gleefully ready to punish him, but Ross brings in three surprise alibis. Case dismissed! Hmm, that was anti-climactic. Doc also gets off with a small fine for building that warning bonfire. Rich white dudes have all the luck. Remember when this same judge sentenced a poor person to several years in a typhus-infested prison for stealing a chicken and a different poor person to the gallows for throwing poop in Parliament Wannabe's face. Yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside the courthouse, Doc pretends he's totally over Blondie:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T55vZAITLI8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But on the inside, he's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/200.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-46932\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/200.gif\" alt=\"200\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross apologizes to Demelza for all his really terrible decisions over the entire time they've known each other. \"I will never again be guilty of such recklessness.\" Ha ha ha... yeah, right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/809dea98d6ba5bde1e3300dcb0191eb4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-46933\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/809dea98d6ba5bde1e3300dcb0191eb4.gif\" alt=\"whitney houston laugh not amused gif\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc gets a bunch of mail. Blondie has returned all his letters and written one of her own, which basically reads like the lyrics to \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggWyUEuGcWY\">JoJo's 2004 single \"Leave (Get Out)\"\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Get out! Leave! Right now!\u003cbr>\nIt's the end of you and me\u003cbr>\nYou said that you would treat me right\u003cbr>\nBut you was just a waste of time.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza is in the town square, minding her business, when Elizabeth calls her over to her carriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"I've been meaning to call upon you to thank you for your kindness these past few months.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"In lending you my husband?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"...in a manner of speaking.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, you're welcome to him, just so long as you remember where he belongs and send him back to me when you're done with him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1564jzc.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47349\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1564jzc.gif\" alt=\"1564jzc\" width=\"360\" height=\"203\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Memo to everyone in Cornwall: Demelza is not the one to mess with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza, still on the war path, confronts Ross about how he sold all his shares in the old mine, information she received from a stranger in town. Ross is like,\u003cem> Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you! I gave away almost all of our money to my ex-girlfriend, leading us to live in squalor for months and months, because she's a delicate flower and needs nice things more than you do. That's not going to be a problem, right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has two options:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Option A: Break a glass and use it to disembowel him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Option B: Silently stew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She unfortunately chooses Option B.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"Kristen-Wiig-pissed\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza grabs a bottle of brandy and runs to some random pregnant girl's house. Random Mom-To-Be is in labor and needs to get blackout drunk immediately (I don't blame her). She thankfully does not die from preeclampsia (still and forever traumatized by Sybil's fate in \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her baby daddy comes home to meet his new child and brings good news from the mine: they found tin! That's cool and all, but this means my dream of the mine closing forever and never having to hear about it again has been dashed yet again. You can't always get what you want, I suppose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she's complaining (you don't say!) about how she doesn't have a man to do all the thinking for her anymore. Mid-rant, she notices a bunch of dudes (sent by Malfoy to scare her into marrying him) digging in her front yard for tin. Her mother comes to the window to take a look and randomly has a stroke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it's bad. She'll need constant care for the rest of her life. Elizabeth is really bummed she has to be a nurse now... unless Malfoy pays for one? She invites him over and he promptly proposes. WTF is going on? Doesn't anyone date around here? Elizabeth is unconvinced, until he reminds her how big his house is. She quickly changes her tune, while picturing her future of drowning in gold coins:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-30.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-47358 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-30.gif\" alt=\"giphy-30\" width=\"318\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the mine, Ross thinks they should secure the ceiling with timbers before continuing to look for more tin. Everyone else is like, \u003cem>Naaaaah\u003c/em>. Someone's totally going to die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the woods, Doc rides by the spot where he and Blondie made out next to a horse butt. He hums a melancholy melody that, two centuries later, will be adapted into a hit single titled \"My Heart Will Go On.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/xYwXYrK.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47450\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/xYwXYrK.gif\" alt=\"xywxyrk\" width=\"499\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Verity pays a visit and Demelza shares her worries that Ross is going to cheat on her with Elizabeth. Verity is like, \u003cem>Don't even worry about it! That would never happen!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Demelza, find more perceptive friends. Worry about it. It \u003cem>will\u003c/em> happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Verity's obnoxiously cheerful stepson suggests that Doc join the Navy. Always full of bad ideas and terrible advice, Ross seconds the suggestion: \u003cem>Go for it! You might die, but who cares! \u003c/em>Broken-hearted Doc likes the idea of dying and plans to consider the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross' War BFF and his overly-trimmed mustache show up again. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, last time you were here you held me at gunpoint and tried to arrest my husband.\u003c/em> He responds with Rod Stewart lyrics:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Have I told you lately that I love you?\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Have I told you there's no one else above you?\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Ease my troubles, that's what you do.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, cool. Thanks? \u003c/em>And then runs from the room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47425\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/GIF.gif\" alt=\"gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the mine, the ceiling caves in and two workers die, including Random New Mom's baby daddy. That's sad, but this revives my dream of the mine closing permanently and never having to hear about it again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"evil-smile\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Elizabeth's house, Malfoy comes over to gloat about Ross' dead workers. Agatha thinks, \u003cem>Who would fall for such an evil piece of you-know-what?\u003c/em> Then she remembers Elizabeth exists. A mere moment later, Elizabeth accepts Malfoy's proposal. I'm sorry, but how did she get from \u003cem>Aw, some poor people died\u003c/em> to \u003cem>I think I'll serve a rosemary-rubbed salmon at the reception \u003c/em>so quickly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha makes all these faces at Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47433\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9.gif\" alt=\"4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9\" width=\"396\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross receives a letter from Elizabeth about her engagement. It's a mix of \u003cem>sorry not sorry\u003c/em> sentiments and groan-worthy lines like this: \"I seem to need the strength and protection only a man can give.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' reaction in a nutshell:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/J7Z9OIe.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47434\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/J7Z9OIe.gif\" alt=\"j7z9oie\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He decides he must rush over there and make her change her mind. Demelza tries to stop him, but he makes her back down by doing this right in her face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/0Jxxb.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47436\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/0Jxxb.gif\" alt=\"0jxxb\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he gets to Elizabeth's house, he starts barking and banging on the door and then literally kicks it down because he's a monster and that's the kind of thing monsters do. He marches upstairs and barges in her room. A lot of whining and yelling ensues, and all of it boils down to sexist ideas like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-32.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47435\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-32.gif\" alt=\"giphy-32\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth eventually stands up for herself and tells him that she won't be instructed and that he should get the F out of her house. He responds by respecting her wishes and apologizing for his brutish behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, no. That's what should have happened. Instead we get this: The \"hero\" of this show forces himself on her. She tells him to stop. He doesn't listen. He grabs her and is about to throw her onto the bed and have his way with her like a Neanderthal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> You wouldn't dare!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross the Rapist:\u003c/strong> Oh, I would!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He throws her on the bed and jumps on top of her. After some horizontal struggling, we're supposed to believe that Elizabeth starts to enjoy herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_maojs7DBEh1rzbvsto1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47437\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_maojs7DBEh1rzbvsto1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_maojs7dbeh1rzbvsto1_250\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross finally comes home. Demelza is outside waiting for a good explanation. She gets this really subpar one:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What can I say? It was something I cannot explain. You must see I had no choice.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is he serious?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza, finish him, \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> style!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/mileena2-1428950136.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47438\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/mileena2-1428950136.gif\" alt=\"mileena2-1428950136\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't quite gobble him up and spit out his bones, but she does punch him right in the eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"hermionepunch\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll take it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, I usually reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, but this time, I only have pieces of coal to hand out.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, the show.\u003c/strong> Way to contribute to the rape myth that, even when a woman says no, she secretly wants it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>ANOTHER PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/em> Aidan Turner, the actor who plays Ross.\u003c/strong> In an \u003ca href=\"https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/1543363/bbc-cuts-storyline-from-next-series-of-poldark-which-would-have-seen-married-hero-forcing-ex-elizabeth-into-bed/\" target=\"_blank\">interview\u003c/a> with \u003cem>The Sun\u003c/em> about the rape scene, he had this to say: “It seems consensual, and it just seems right.\" Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>AND ANOTHER PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/em> Ross. \u003c/strong>For obvious reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> and read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Ross does something so horrible that you'll feel bad about all the time you've spent looking at shirtless pictures of him.",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross did everything in his power to get in trouble with the law again, Demelza did everything in her power to not stab him, and Murphy's Law did everything in its power to prevent Doc, Blondie and Horace the Pug from eloping and finding bliss. Will Ross be hanged, turning \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> into a show only about Demelza, Agatha, and all the cool animals? Will Demelza finally get an annulment and pursue a career as a pop star in the big city? Will Elizabeth take a much-needed break from being super-duper annoying? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After barely escaping arrest and death, Ross should be lying low right about now. He's not, of course. Instead, he's getting letters from his Illegal Smuggling Boss. Demelza has had it. Officially.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Judas, Ross! Will you never learn?!?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Possibly not.\" *smug smirk*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kill him, Demelza. Just kill him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Ross is already in court. The judge is gleefully ready to punish him, but Ross brings in three surprise alibis. Case dismissed! Hmm, that was anti-climactic. Doc also gets off with a small fine for building that warning bonfire. Rich white dudes have all the luck. Remember when this same judge sentenced a poor person to several years in a typhus-infested prison for stealing a chicken and a different poor person to the gallows for throwing poop in Parliament Wannabe's face. Yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside the courthouse, Doc pretends he's totally over Blondie:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/T55vZAITLI8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/T55vZAITLI8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>But on the inside, he's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/200.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-46932\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/200.gif\" alt=\"200\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross apologizes to Demelza for all his really terrible decisions over the entire time they've known each other. \"I will never again be guilty of such recklessness.\" Ha ha ha... yeah, right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/809dea98d6ba5bde1e3300dcb0191eb4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-46933\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/809dea98d6ba5bde1e3300dcb0191eb4.gif\" alt=\"whitney houston laugh not amused gif\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc gets a bunch of mail. Blondie has returned all his letters and written one of her own, which basically reads like the lyrics to \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggWyUEuGcWY\">JoJo's 2004 single \"Leave (Get Out)\"\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Get out! Leave! Right now!\u003cbr>\nIt's the end of you and me\u003cbr>\nYou said that you would treat me right\u003cbr>\nBut you was just a waste of time.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza is in the town square, minding her business, when Elizabeth calls her over to her carriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"I've been meaning to call upon you to thank you for your kindness these past few months.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"In lending you my husband?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"...in a manner of speaking.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, you're welcome to him, just so long as you remember where he belongs and send him back to me when you're done with him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1564jzc.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47349\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/1564jzc.gif\" alt=\"1564jzc\" width=\"360\" height=\"203\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Memo to everyone in Cornwall: Demelza is not the one to mess with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza, still on the war path, confronts Ross about how he sold all his shares in the old mine, information she received from a stranger in town. Ross is like,\u003cem> Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you! I gave away almost all of our money to my ex-girlfriend, leading us to live in squalor for months and months, because she's a delicate flower and needs nice things more than you do. That's not going to be a problem, right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has two options:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Option A: Break a glass and use it to disembowel him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Option B: Silently stew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She unfortunately chooses Option B.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"Kristen-Wiig-pissed\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza grabs a bottle of brandy and runs to some random pregnant girl's house. Random Mom-To-Be is in labor and needs to get blackout drunk immediately (I don't blame her). She thankfully does not die from preeclampsia (still and forever traumatized by Sybil's fate in \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her baby daddy comes home to meet his new child and brings good news from the mine: they found tin! That's cool and all, but this means my dream of the mine closing forever and never having to hear about it again has been dashed yet again. You can't always get what you want, I suppose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Elizabeth's house, she's complaining (you don't say!) about how she doesn't have a man to do all the thinking for her anymore. Mid-rant, she notices a bunch of dudes (sent by Malfoy to scare her into marrying him) digging in her front yard for tin. Her mother comes to the window to take a look and randomly has a stroke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it's bad. She'll need constant care for the rest of her life. Elizabeth is really bummed she has to be a nurse now... unless Malfoy pays for one? She invites him over and he promptly proposes. WTF is going on? Doesn't anyone date around here? Elizabeth is unconvinced, until he reminds her how big his house is. She quickly changes her tune, while picturing her future of drowning in gold coins:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-30.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-47358 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-30.gif\" alt=\"giphy-30\" width=\"318\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the mine, Ross thinks they should secure the ceiling with timbers before continuing to look for more tin. Everyone else is like, \u003cem>Naaaaah\u003c/em>. Someone's totally going to die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the woods, Doc rides by the spot where he and Blondie made out next to a horse butt. He hums a melancholy melody that, two centuries later, will be adapted into a hit single titled \"My Heart Will Go On.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/xYwXYrK.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47450\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/xYwXYrK.gif\" alt=\"xywxyrk\" width=\"499\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Verity pays a visit and Demelza shares her worries that Ross is going to cheat on her with Elizabeth. Verity is like, \u003cem>Don't even worry about it! That would never happen!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Demelza, find more perceptive friends. Worry about it. It \u003cem>will\u003c/em> happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Verity's obnoxiously cheerful stepson suggests that Doc join the Navy. Always full of bad ideas and terrible advice, Ross seconds the suggestion: \u003cem>Go for it! You might die, but who cares! \u003c/em>Broken-hearted Doc likes the idea of dying and plans to consider the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross' War BFF and his overly-trimmed mustache show up again. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, last time you were here you held me at gunpoint and tried to arrest my husband.\u003c/em> He responds with Rod Stewart lyrics:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Have I told you lately that I love you?\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Have I told you there's no one else above you?\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Ease my troubles, that's what you do.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, cool. Thanks? \u003c/em>And then runs from the room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47425\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/GIF.gif\" alt=\"gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the mine, the ceiling caves in and two workers die, including Random New Mom's baby daddy. That's sad, but this revives my dream of the mine closing permanently and never having to hear about it again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"evil-smile\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Elizabeth's house, Malfoy comes over to gloat about Ross' dead workers. Agatha thinks, \u003cem>Who would fall for such an evil piece of you-know-what?\u003c/em> Then she remembers Elizabeth exists. A mere moment later, Elizabeth accepts Malfoy's proposal. I'm sorry, but how did she get from \u003cem>Aw, some poor people died\u003c/em> to \u003cem>I think I'll serve a rosemary-rubbed salmon at the reception \u003c/em>so quickly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha makes all these faces at Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47433\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9.gif\" alt=\"4be5d4f99504117ad25ec45bacfd83d9\" width=\"396\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross receives a letter from Elizabeth about her engagement. It's a mix of \u003cem>sorry not sorry\u003c/em> sentiments and groan-worthy lines like this: \"I seem to need the strength and protection only a man can give.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' reaction in a nutshell:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/J7Z9OIe.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47434\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/J7Z9OIe.gif\" alt=\"j7z9oie\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He decides he must rush over there and make her change her mind. Demelza tries to stop him, but he makes her back down by doing this right in her face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/0Jxxb.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47436\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/0Jxxb.gif\" alt=\"0jxxb\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he gets to Elizabeth's house, he starts barking and banging on the door and then literally kicks it down because he's a monster and that's the kind of thing monsters do. He marches upstairs and barges in her room. A lot of whining and yelling ensues, and all of it boils down to sexist ideas like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-32.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47435\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-32.gif\" alt=\"giphy-32\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth eventually stands up for herself and tells him that she won't be instructed and that he should get the F out of her house. He responds by respecting her wishes and apologizing for his brutish behavior.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, no. That's what should have happened. Instead we get this: The \"hero\" of this show forces himself on her. She tells him to stop. He doesn't listen. He grabs her and is about to throw her onto the bed and have his way with her like a Neanderthal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> You wouldn't dare!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross the Rapist:\u003c/strong> Oh, I would!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He throws her on the bed and jumps on top of her. After some horizontal struggling, we're supposed to believe that Elizabeth starts to enjoy herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_maojs7DBEh1rzbvsto1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47437\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_maojs7DBEh1rzbvsto1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_maojs7dbeh1rzbvsto1_250\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross finally comes home. Demelza is outside waiting for a good explanation. She gets this really subpar one:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What can I say? It was something I cannot explain. You must see I had no choice.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is he serious?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza, finish him, \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> style!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/mileena2-1428950136.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47438\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/mileena2-1428950136.gif\" alt=\"mileena2-1428950136\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't quite gobble him up and spit out his bones, but she does punch him right in the eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"hermionepunch\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll take it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, I usually reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, but this time, I only have pieces of coal to hand out.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, the show.\u003c/strong> Way to contribute to the rape myth that, even when a woman says no, she secretly wants it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>ANOTHER PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/em> Aidan Turner, the actor who plays Ross.\u003c/strong> In an \u003ca href=\"https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/1543363/bbc-cuts-storyline-from-next-series-of-poldark-which-would-have-seen-married-hero-forcing-ex-elizabeth-into-bed/\" target=\"_blank\">interview\u003c/a> with \u003cem>The Sun\u003c/em> about the rape scene, he had this to say: “It seems consensual, and it just seems right.\" Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>AND ANOTHER PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/em> Ross. \u003c/strong>For obvious reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> and read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer",
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"content": "\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross tried really hard not to cheat on Demelza, Demelza tried really hard not to kill Ross, and Blondie and Doc made out next to a horse butt again. Will Ross and Pinky Ring just get the adultery over with already? Will Demelza respond by pulling a Lorena Bobbitt? Will Agatha loudly proclaim her undying devotion to alcohol again? Will Horace the Pug get lost and embark on a \u003cem>Homeward Bound\u003c/em>-esque journey with Demelza's pup and Malfoy's uncle's pooch? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Breaking news alert! The French chopped off Marie Antoinette's husband's head! Everyone in Cornwall is freaking out over the overseas drama, but Ross' War BFF (the dude who is constantly in uniform) will not let some pesky revolution distract him from jailing all the illegal traders -- with the help of the secret informer. Is it just me, or do you also hear this song every time someone on this show says that word?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0yGvypBwyA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh. Just me? Cool.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza is sawing wood and imagining that she's sawing into Ross and Pinky Ring's faces. Her voodoo wood-mutilation is cut short by two approaching men. Demelza orders Garrick the Dog (OMG, he's alive!) to attack them. The men are like, \u003cem>Woah, woah! It's us! Ross' illegal trading buddies!\u003c/em> Demelza is like, \u003cem>I know. That's why I'm trying to give you rabies.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Garrick, did you know that the real-life dog that plays him was abandoned, rescued, and now, in addition to starring in \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, has been cast in the upcoming \u003cem>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them\u003c/em> \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Emma Watson's live-action version of \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>? \u003ca href=\"https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/tv/1123229/the-dog-thats-having-its-day-rescue-animal-becomes-tvs-most-in-demand-mutt-after-starring-in-poldark/\">It's true\u003c/a>! Now I need to know the real-life details of Horace the Pug and Malfoy's uncle's dog. These three are quickly becoming my favorite part of this show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, let's move beyond canines (for now) and see what Ross is up to. Oh, the same thing as every other episode: sucking at mining. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ross needs to cut his losses and convert his mine into a a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices. He'll never have to worry about money again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza continues to yell at the illegal traders to get their crap from under the floorboards and:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n0bbjpmUtQ1s7hg3xo1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45886\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n0bbjpmUtQ1s7hg3xo1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n0bbjpmutq1s7hg3xo1_400\" width=\"350\" height=\"279\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's check back in with Ross. Has he returned home to handle his own illegal business dealings and to spend some quality time with his wife and infant? Ha ha, nope! He's at Pinky Ring's, of course, inching closer and closer to adultery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I will always have reason to call, if you wish it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"I wish it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/alAx0zM.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/alAx0zM.gif\" alt=\"alax0zm\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is still giving grade-A death stare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45889\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-800x436.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-11-05-at-10-51-06-am\" width=\"800\" height=\"436\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-800x436.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-160x87.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-768x419.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-1020x556.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-1180x644.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-960x524.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-240x131.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-375x205.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-520x284.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM.png 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It only increases in intensity when Ross shares his plan to not only store smuggled goods, but to personally go on one of the smuggling runs. But maybe this is a good thing. Ross can get his stupid ass caught and go to prison, paving the way for \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> to become all about Demelza and the three dogs. Now \u003cem>that\u003c/em> would be must-see TV!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc and Blondie debate whether they should elope or try to convince Blondie's uncle to be chill and just let them get married the non-shady way. I don't care either way, as long as I get a shot of Horace the Pug serving as the ring-bearer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More details about the smuggling run: Ross is going all the way to France (I guess ticket prices dropped, thanks to all the social unrest and beheadings and such). His mission will be to find that dude from Season 1 who strangled his cheating wife to death and ask his advice on which part of the mine might actually have copper. This storyline is embarrassing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Malfoy runs into Ross. Despite my immense desire for one of them to slap the other with a glove, they just mean mug each other and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy returns home and orders his Slytherin Crony to go to Pinky Ring's house at once. He's supposed to scare her with details of the French Revolution so that she comes running for Malfoy's help, but it doesn't quite work out that way. She instead writes to Ross because home-wreckers gonna home-wreck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha, on the other hand, doesn't need a man for protection.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha:\u003c/strong> \"Fetch me a pistol. I can stop an intruder in his tracks.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"I don't doubt it, aunt. With or without a firearm.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o2_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_odagiuxfet1smwl44o2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Doc stops by to tell Demelza he's skipping town to marry Blondie and won't be coming back. Demelza plays it cool, but this will be her at the going-away party, because a) she loves to sing and b) Doc is one of the only nice people in all of Cornwall:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\" alt=\"11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f\" width=\"500\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is livid at Ross for not responding to her letter. You can't see me, but I'm pointing and laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45910\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tenor.gif\" alt=\"tenor\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blondie pays Demelza a visit. Her need for girl talk supersedes her hatred of poor people, just this once. Blondie is worried Doc has changed his mind about the elopement. Demelza is like, \u003cem>No way!\u003c/em> But Blondie hits her with a \u003cem>Girl, who are you kidding? \u003c/em>question:\u003cem> \u003c/em>\"Is that your experience of husbands, to be relied upon?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/kid-crying-interview.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45913\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/kid-crying-interview.gif\" alt=\"kid-crying-interview\" width=\"360\" height=\"189\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Ross meets up with Wife Strangler, who now looks like \u003ca href=\"https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/f3/74/6cf374f1222add3feba608e8e4347650.jpg\">Tom Hanks in \u003cem>Castaway\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://media.giphy.com/media/JjLylCKqqQs5q/giphy.gif\">Tom Hanks in \u003cem>Forrest Gump\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. You decide. He shares how much he wishes he could strangle Doc to death for sleeping with his wife. I'm guessing France doesn't offer anger-management classes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and friends are all like, \u003cem>Dude, you've done enough strangling. Now, where's the copper?\u003c/em> Wife Strangler tries to show them on a map and they all look at each other like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Kim-Kardashian-looking-at-Kanye-West-shaking-their-heads-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45914\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Kim-Kardashian-looking-at-Kanye-West-shaking-their-heads-GIF.gif\" alt=\"kim-kardashian-looking-at-kanye-west-shaking-their-heads-gif\" width=\"460\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He doesn't really know where the copper is, after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy sends his Slytherin Crony to scare Pinky Ring some more by lying about poor people planning to storm her property. Agatha swoops in with some words of wisdom: \"Male of the species: inadequate at best. Better to rely on one's own resources.\" And then she PULLS OUT A HUGE GUN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o3_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45937\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o3_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_odagiuxfet1smwl44o3_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>News of this fake riot-in-the-making makes Pinky Ring even angrier with Ross. How dare he not reply to her letter?! She's his.... ex-girlfriend who ditched him for his richer cousin, while he was fighting for his life on the front lines. Yeah. You reap what you sow, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, she doesn't have any common sense and trots on over to chez Ross to bug Demelza. \u003cem>Why hasn't your husband replied to my love note? Wahhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza considers this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-25.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45938\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-25.gif\" alt=\"giphy-25\" width=\"500\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But opts for this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45939\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-10.gif\" alt=\"shooting daggers eyes gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Wonky Knee Girl, who Doc cured last episode using the knowledge he acquired by inappropriately cutting off a corpse's leg, is having trouble walking again. Doc gets word and wants to help, but he's supposed to meet Blondie in the woods for their elopement. Because he's a good person and doesn't want the other town doctor to chop off this girl's entire leg, he runs to help, which means he's essentially stranding Blondie at the altar because this was before texting. I guess we'll never get to see Horace the Pug serve as ring-bearer, after all.\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/dog-anim.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-45971 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/dog-anim.gif\" alt=\"dog-anim\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc easily turns Wonky Knee Girl into Functional Knee Girl. Ok, great! Now he doesn't have to be late for his elopement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast! Functional Knee Girl's fiancé, who also happens to be the dude who barged into Ross' house last episode and saw all the smugglers digging a hole in the living room floor, is revealed to have lied about a thing or two. Doc and Demelza look at each other, this song now stuck in their heads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0yGvypBwyA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Horace the Pug is growing very impatient. Blondie, too, I suppose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45947\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-800x402.jpg\" alt=\"horace-pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"402\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-800x402.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-160x80.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-768x386.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-1020x512.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-1180x593.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-960x482.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-240x121.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-375x188.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-520x261.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc runs over to Informer's house. Homeboy does not have a fever, but he does have fancy curtains and candlesticks. You, too, can have nice housewares, if you sell out your friends for years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza hurries home, seeing tons of military men on the way. She informs Mrs. Pigpen that she's going to head down to the beach to warn Ross. Only trouble is Ross' War BFF busts in right then and orders a man with a gun to not let her leave for the rest of the evening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Informer's house, Doc tries to leave to tell the others, but Informer breaks a chair on his back! When that doesn't kill him, Informer tries to bludgeon him with a fireplace poker. When that doesn't work, he tries to stab him to death. Thankfully, Doc lands a few blows and runs out. (Maybe he's been taking boxing lessons in heels like Malfoy?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Side-note: I watched that entire fight like Aly Raisman's parents:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/PlayfulBeneficialGander-size_restricted.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45972\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/PlayfulBeneficialGander-size_restricted.gif\" alt=\"playfulbeneficialgander-size_restricted\" width=\"250\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From there, Doc goes to a hill overlooking the beach and makes a bonfire to warn foolhardy Ross and his stupid friends. Unfortunately, they're already on the beach, unloading, by the time they notice it. Ross yells for everyone to get back in the boat, but he wants to take his chances running around on the beach while soldiers shoot at him, proving that he got everything in the looks department and almost nothing in the brains department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs up the hill and knocks out some soldiers. This plan is really stupid. A single punch isn't strong enough to give them early-onset Alzheimer's. They will remember who knocked them out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of being knocked out, a soldier hits Doc on the head with his rifle. No good deed goes unpunished, which is something Blondie knows very well, as she and Horace are sitting in her coach in the rain and cold, waiting for someone who isn't coming. Horace is TREMBLING! All because of Ross and his constant shenanigans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza manages to sneak out of the house (because she's got it like that) and finds Ross in the woods. Guards are everywhere. The plan is to run home and have Ross hide in the library, where the secret cellar is. Pretty sure Informer told them about that secret spot, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The very moment Demelza walks back into the house, one of the dudes that Ross knocked out barges in. Like I expected, he did not develop early-onset Alzheimer's. A bunch of soldiers storm the library, point their guns at the secret cellar and...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45974\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-26.gif\" alt=\"giphy-26\" width=\"440\" height=\"330\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...it's empty!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-27.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45973\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-27.gif\" alt=\"giphy-27\" width=\"500\" height=\"395\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring hears about the soldiers running around and once again loudly complains about Ross not writing her back. GET OVER YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!!! Being the petty middle schooler that she is, she immediately writes Malfoy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, after some time in custody, Doc is released. He runs to Blondie's mansion, but all that's there for him is a letter from her saying goodbye forever. THANKS, ROSS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a live feed of Blondie:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/JmW19.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45975\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/JmW19.gif\" alt=\"jmw19\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Pigpen and some other smugglers are on the hunt for the Informer. They're out for blood. But they're not going to get any because -- plot twist! -- the Informer has already been murdered and dumped on the beach. That's what he gets for being the main reason Horace the Pug had to tremble in the cold all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy stops by to tattle on Ross. Agatha calls BS on everything he says, with punctuations of \"Stuff!\" and \"Piffle!\" I'm so glad she's immortal and will never die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza is worried sick. The rug and table in the library moved, so Ross has definitely been there. Where in the world is Ross Poldark (and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ImLfvgPJd8\">Carmen Sandiego\u003c/a>)?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, in a side compartment of the secret cellar! He emerges and walks in on Demelza singing her first single. She runs to him and they embrace. All is well... until he has to deal with the fact that he punched a bunch of soldiers and has been exposed as an illegal smuggler. But other than that, and the fact that he's in love with another woman, it's all good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Pinky Ring.\u003c/strong> Sometimes, people don't reply to letters, emails or texts because they are busy and their lives don't revolve around you. GET OVER YOURSELF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> \u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Let her life be a lesson: think twice before marrying a dude just because he's easy on the eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong>\u003cem> \u003c/em>Being stood up in the cold like that is terrible, but there's a silver lining. Now, she can release really powerful breakup anthems and become the 18th-century Taylor Swift!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Agatha. \u003c/strong>That gun reveal. Pure gold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Doc. \u003c/strong>I'm glad he survived being assaulted by a chair, a poker, a knife, a rifle butt, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> a breakup letter. He's earned a lengthy vacation. Wonky Knee Girl will just have to fend for herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Remember when Judas betrayed Jesus and all hell broke loose? This episode is kind of like that.",
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"description": "Remember when Judas betrayed Jesus and all hell broke loose? This episode is kind of like that.",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross tried really hard not to cheat on Demelza, Demelza tried really hard not to kill Ross, and Blondie and Doc made out next to a horse butt again. Will Ross and Pinky Ring just get the adultery over with already? Will Demelza respond by pulling a Lorena Bobbitt? Will Agatha loudly proclaim her undying devotion to alcohol again? Will Horace the Pug get lost and embark on a \u003cem>Homeward Bound\u003c/em>-esque journey with Demelza's pup and Malfoy's uncle's pooch? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Breaking news alert! The French chopped off Marie Antoinette's husband's head! Everyone in Cornwall is freaking out over the overseas drama, but Ross' War BFF (the dude who is constantly in uniform) will not let some pesky revolution distract him from jailing all the illegal traders -- with the help of the secret informer. Is it just me, or do you also hear this song every time someone on this show says that word?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/B0yGvypBwyA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/B0yGvypBwyA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Oh. Just me? Cool.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza is sawing wood and imagining that she's sawing into Ross and Pinky Ring's faces. Her voodoo wood-mutilation is cut short by two approaching men. Demelza orders Garrick the Dog (OMG, he's alive!) to attack them. The men are like, \u003cem>Woah, woah! It's us! Ross' illegal trading buddies!\u003c/em> Demelza is like, \u003cem>I know. That's why I'm trying to give you rabies.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Garrick, did you know that the real-life dog that plays him was abandoned, rescued, and now, in addition to starring in \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, has been cast in the upcoming \u003cem>Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them\u003c/em> \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Emma Watson's live-action version of \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>? \u003ca href=\"https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/tv/1123229/the-dog-thats-having-its-day-rescue-animal-becomes-tvs-most-in-demand-mutt-after-starring-in-poldark/\">It's true\u003c/a>! Now I need to know the real-life details of Horace the Pug and Malfoy's uncle's dog. These three are quickly becoming my favorite part of this show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, let's move beyond canines (for now) and see what Ross is up to. Oh, the same thing as every other episode: sucking at mining. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ross needs to cut his losses and convert his mine into a a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices. He'll never have to worry about money again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza continues to yell at the illegal traders to get their crap from under the floorboards and:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n0bbjpmUtQ1s7hg3xo1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45886\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_n0bbjpmUtQ1s7hg3xo1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n0bbjpmutq1s7hg3xo1_400\" width=\"350\" height=\"279\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's check back in with Ross. Has he returned home to handle his own illegal business dealings and to spend some quality time with his wife and infant? Ha ha, nope! He's at Pinky Ring's, of course, inching closer and closer to adultery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I will always have reason to call, if you wish it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"I wish it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/alAx0zM.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/alAx0zM.gif\" alt=\"alax0zm\" width=\"500\" height=\"202\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is still giving grade-A death stare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45889\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-800x436.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-11-05-at-10-51-06-am\" width=\"800\" height=\"436\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-800x436.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-160x87.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-768x419.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-1020x556.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-1180x644.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-960x524.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-240x131.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-375x205.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM-520x284.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Screen-Shot-2016-11-05-at-10.51.06-AM.png 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It only increases in intensity when Ross shares his plan to not only store smuggled goods, but to personally go on one of the smuggling runs. But maybe this is a good thing. Ross can get his stupid ass caught and go to prison, paving the way for \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> to become all about Demelza and the three dogs. Now \u003cem>that\u003c/em> would be must-see TV!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc and Blondie debate whether they should elope or try to convince Blondie's uncle to be chill and just let them get married the non-shady way. I don't care either way, as long as I get a shot of Horace the Pug serving as the ring-bearer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More details about the smuggling run: Ross is going all the way to France (I guess ticket prices dropped, thanks to all the social unrest and beheadings and such). His mission will be to find that dude from Season 1 who strangled his cheating wife to death and ask his advice on which part of the mine might actually have copper. This storyline is embarrassing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Malfoy runs into Ross. Despite my immense desire for one of them to slap the other with a glove, they just mean mug each other and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy returns home and orders his Slytherin Crony to go to Pinky Ring's house at once. He's supposed to scare her with details of the French Revolution so that she comes running for Malfoy's help, but it doesn't quite work out that way. She instead writes to Ross because home-wreckers gonna home-wreck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha, on the other hand, doesn't need a man for protection.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha:\u003c/strong> \"Fetch me a pistol. I can stop an intruder in his tracks.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"I don't doubt it, aunt. With or without a firearm.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o2_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_odagiuxfet1smwl44o2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Doc stops by to tell Demelza he's skipping town to marry Blondie and won't be coming back. Demelza plays it cool, but this will be her at the going-away party, because a) she loves to sing and b) Doc is one of the only nice people in all of Cornwall:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\" alt=\"11c839f0-d25f-0132-45f5-0ebc4eccb42f\" width=\"500\" height=\"244\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is livid at Ross for not responding to her letter. You can't see me, but I'm pointing and laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45910\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tenor.gif\" alt=\"tenor\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blondie pays Demelza a visit. Her need for girl talk supersedes her hatred of poor people, just this once. Blondie is worried Doc has changed his mind about the elopement. Demelza is like, \u003cem>No way!\u003c/em> But Blondie hits her with a \u003cem>Girl, who are you kidding? \u003c/em>question:\u003cem> \u003c/em>\"Is that your experience of husbands, to be relied upon?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/kid-crying-interview.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45913\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/kid-crying-interview.gif\" alt=\"kid-crying-interview\" width=\"360\" height=\"189\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Ross meets up with Wife Strangler, who now looks like \u003ca href=\"https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6c/f3/74/6cf374f1222add3feba608e8e4347650.jpg\">Tom Hanks in \u003cem>Castaway\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://media.giphy.com/media/JjLylCKqqQs5q/giphy.gif\">Tom Hanks in \u003cem>Forrest Gump\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. You decide. He shares how much he wishes he could strangle Doc to death for sleeping with his wife. I'm guessing France doesn't offer anger-management classes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and friends are all like, \u003cem>Dude, you've done enough strangling. Now, where's the copper?\u003c/em> Wife Strangler tries to show them on a map and they all look at each other like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Kim-Kardashian-looking-at-Kanye-West-shaking-their-heads-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45914\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/Kim-Kardashian-looking-at-Kanye-West-shaking-their-heads-GIF.gif\" alt=\"kim-kardashian-looking-at-kanye-west-shaking-their-heads-gif\" width=\"460\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He doesn't really know where the copper is, after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy sends his Slytherin Crony to scare Pinky Ring some more by lying about poor people planning to storm her property. Agatha swoops in with some words of wisdom: \"Male of the species: inadequate at best. Better to rely on one's own resources.\" And then she PULLS OUT A HUGE GUN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o3_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45937\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/tumblr_odagiuxFeT1smwl44o3_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_odagiuxfet1smwl44o3_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>News of this fake riot-in-the-making makes Pinky Ring even angrier with Ross. How dare he not reply to her letter?! She's his.... ex-girlfriend who ditched him for his richer cousin, while he was fighting for his life on the front lines. Yeah. You reap what you sow, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, she doesn't have any common sense and trots on over to chez Ross to bug Demelza. \u003cem>Why hasn't your husband replied to my love note? Wahhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza considers this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-25.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45938\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-25.gif\" alt=\"giphy-25\" width=\"500\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But opts for this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45939\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/raw-10.gif\" alt=\"shooting daggers eyes gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Wonky Knee Girl, who Doc cured last episode using the knowledge he acquired by inappropriately cutting off a corpse's leg, is having trouble walking again. Doc gets word and wants to help, but he's supposed to meet Blondie in the woods for their elopement. Because he's a good person and doesn't want the other town doctor to chop off this girl's entire leg, he runs to help, which means he's essentially stranding Blondie at the altar because this was before texting. I guess we'll never get to see Horace the Pug serve as ring-bearer, after all.\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/dog-anim.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-45971 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/dog-anim.gif\" alt=\"dog-anim\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc easily turns Wonky Knee Girl into Functional Knee Girl. Ok, great! Now he doesn't have to be late for his elopement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast! Functional Knee Girl's fiancé, who also happens to be the dude who barged into Ross' house last episode and saw all the smugglers digging a hole in the living room floor, is revealed to have lied about a thing or two. Doc and Demelza look at each other, this song now stuck in their heads:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/B0yGvypBwyA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/B0yGvypBwyA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Meanwhile, Horace the Pug is growing very impatient. Blondie, too, I suppose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45947\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-800x402.jpg\" alt=\"horace-pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"402\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-800x402.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-160x80.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-768x386.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-1020x512.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-1180x593.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-960x482.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-240x121.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-375x188.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark-520x261.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/horace-pug-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc runs over to Informer's house. Homeboy does not have a fever, but he does have fancy curtains and candlesticks. You, too, can have nice housewares, if you sell out your friends for years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza hurries home, seeing tons of military men on the way. She informs Mrs. Pigpen that she's going to head down to the beach to warn Ross. Only trouble is Ross' War BFF busts in right then and orders a man with a gun to not let her leave for the rest of the evening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Informer's house, Doc tries to leave to tell the others, but Informer breaks a chair on his back! When that doesn't kill him, Informer tries to bludgeon him with a fireplace poker. When that doesn't work, he tries to stab him to death. Thankfully, Doc lands a few blows and runs out. (Maybe he's been taking boxing lessons in heels like Malfoy?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Side-note: I watched that entire fight like Aly Raisman's parents:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/PlayfulBeneficialGander-size_restricted.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45972\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/PlayfulBeneficialGander-size_restricted.gif\" alt=\"playfulbeneficialgander-size_restricted\" width=\"250\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From there, Doc goes to a hill overlooking the beach and makes a bonfire to warn foolhardy Ross and his stupid friends. Unfortunately, they're already on the beach, unloading, by the time they notice it. Ross yells for everyone to get back in the boat, but he wants to take his chances running around on the beach while soldiers shoot at him, proving that he got everything in the looks department and almost nothing in the brains department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs up the hill and knocks out some soldiers. This plan is really stupid. A single punch isn't strong enough to give them early-onset Alzheimer's. They will remember who knocked them out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of being knocked out, a soldier hits Doc on the head with his rifle. No good deed goes unpunished, which is something Blondie knows very well, as she and Horace are sitting in her coach in the rain and cold, waiting for someone who isn't coming. Horace is TREMBLING! All because of Ross and his constant shenanigans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza manages to sneak out of the house (because she's got it like that) and finds Ross in the woods. Guards are everywhere. The plan is to run home and have Ross hide in the library, where the secret cellar is. Pretty sure Informer told them about that secret spot, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The very moment Demelza walks back into the house, one of the dudes that Ross knocked out barges in. Like I expected, he did not develop early-onset Alzheimer's. A bunch of soldiers storm the library, point their guns at the secret cellar and...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45974\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-26.gif\" alt=\"giphy-26\" width=\"440\" height=\"330\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...it's empty!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-27.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-45973\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/giphy-27.gif\" alt=\"giphy-27\" width=\"500\" height=\"395\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring hears about the soldiers running around and once again loudly complains about Ross not writing her back. GET OVER YOUR FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!!! Being the petty middle schooler that she is, she immediately writes Malfoy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, after some time in custody, Doc is released. He runs to Blondie's mansion, but all that's there for him is a letter from her saying goodbye forever. THANKS, ROSS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a live feed of Blondie:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/JmW19.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45975\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/JmW19.gif\" alt=\"jmw19\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Pigpen and some other smugglers are on the hunt for the Informer. They're out for blood. But they're not going to get any because -- plot twist! -- the Informer has already been murdered and dumped on the beach. That's what he gets for being the main reason Horace the Pug had to tremble in the cold all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy stops by to tattle on Ross. Agatha calls BS on everything he says, with punctuations of \"Stuff!\" and \"Piffle!\" I'm so glad she's immortal and will never die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza is worried sick. The rug and table in the library moved, so Ross has definitely been there. Where in the world is Ross Poldark (and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ImLfvgPJd8\">Carmen Sandiego\u003c/a>)?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, in a side compartment of the secret cellar! He emerges and walks in on Demelza singing her first single. She runs to him and they embrace. All is well... until he has to deal with the fact that he punched a bunch of soldiers and has been exposed as an illegal smuggler. But other than that, and the fact that he's in love with another woman, it's all good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Pinky Ring.\u003c/strong> Sometimes, people don't reply to letters, emails or texts because they are busy and their lives don't revolve around you. GET OVER YOURSELF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> \u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Let her life be a lesson: think twice before marrying a dude just because he's easy on the eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong>\u003cem> \u003c/em>Being stood up in the cold like that is terrible, but there's a silver lining. Now, she can release really powerful breakup anthems and become the 18th-century Taylor Swift!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Agatha. \u003c/strong>That gun reveal. Pure gold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Doc. \u003c/strong>I'm glad he survived being assaulted by a chair, a poker, a knife, a rifle butt, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> a breakup letter. He's earned a lengthy vacation. Wonky Knee Girl will just have to fend for herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>It has been more than a year since Stephen Colbert \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/monkeysee/2014/04/10/301467811/stephen-colbert-the-end-of-one-joke-the-start-of-many-more\">took over\u003c/a> as host of CBS' \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>, and he's finally feeling comfortable being himself and not a character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>, Colbert spent nine years playing the role of a self-important blowhard on Comedy Central's \u003cem>The Colbert Report.\u003c/em> He tells \u003cem>Fresh Air\u003c/em>'s Terry Gross that he initially shied away from discussing politics or current events on \u003cem>The Late Show \u003c/em>in an effort to differentiate himself from his \u003cem>Colbert\u003c/em> persona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It took me almost half a year to realize ... that you can have a highly opinionated, highly topical show as yourself and not essentially fall back into the basket of \u003cem>The Colbert Report,\" \u003c/em>he says.\u003cem> \"\u003c/em>Now I have no qualms about being sharp and satirical and highly opinionated and saying whatever's on my mind as quickly as I can.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This fall, Colbert's mind has been on the election. He's been doing political comedy nearly every night, but don't expect him to be at his \u003cem>Late Show \u003c/em>desk on election night. Colbert's Nov. 8 show will be pre-empted by CBS News coverage, so instead he'll be hosting the Showtime special \u003cem>Stephen Colbert's Live Election Night Democracy's Series Finale: Who's Going To Clean Up This S***? \u003c/em>He promises guest stars, special political commercials, musical guests and, of course, election results.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On why he decided to end \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Colbert R\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>eport\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The idea of \"truthiness\" — that was the thesis statement for the entire show, that how you feel is more important than what the facts are, and that the truth that you feel is correct is more important than anything that the facts could support. ... We embodied it satirically, though it's not really a new idea. ... But I didn't want to play that game anymore. ... I just couldn't take playing that character anymore. ... I began to feel like I was stumbling downhill with an armful of bottles and that I couldn't actually keep up the discipline, because it took discipline to remind myself every day to be the character, don't be yourself. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so I decided a couple years before the show ended that I was going to end the show. ... It wasn't because I didn't like it anymore — I still liked it — but I just thought, \u003cem>I'm not sure if I can actually keep this up without hurting someone. \u003c/em>\u003cem>... \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I thought maybe I would make some big mistake with the character because he would say terrible things. And I got away with some of the terrible things he would say or do because it was all filtered through his mask, but if I didn't maintain the mask, it would just be me being terrible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On getting \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em> offer\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It fell out of the sky. It was absolutely no part of my plans when I decided to end \u003cem>The Colbert R\u003c/em>\u003cem>eport. \u003c/em>It was a complete surprise to me. It hadn't been an ambition of mine, and I had just been an enormous fan of [David Letterman] and so I had great respect for what he had built. But when they called and said, \"OK, how about you?\" I was shocked. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love a live audience, I love the grind of every day and I love the people I work with. And it gave me all the things that I loved, and that was not a hard decision. ... To know that I could continue that was the greatest draw, and I also couldn't think of anything after \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Colbert Report\u003c/em> that would seem like a promotion other than taking over for Dave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On leaving his \u003cem>Colbert\u003c/em> character behind and finding his authentic voice on \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a confessional aspect to wearing a mask, the same reason why it's easier to confess behind a screen to a priest than face to face. So the character was a 10-year confession, perhaps indulging ego and appetite through the person of this character. Then you go onstage as yourself and you're responsible for everything you say and there's a natural inclination to pull your punch because you have to be responsible for what you're saying. You cannot hide behind the mask. ... It took me a little while to realize that the character was not in danger of re-emerging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the work pace of \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em> compared to \u003cem>The Colbert Report\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We would talk about a single subject maybe for a week, or we would think about one idea that we might do three or four days from now, or maybe two weeks from now as we developed the idea and how my character might put himself in that news story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, it's how fast can you talk about everything that happened in the news or in popular culture in the last 24 hours, and it's much faster than we used to work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The joke I've made is that we went from go-kart to NASCAR, with all the advertising stickers on the side of our car, too. But it's a different, much faster way of working than we used to. It's less essay; it's more like reportage with jokes than a columnist. I used be like a columnist and now I'm writing daily headlines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On how he handles the stress of the job\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You got to like the stress. ... I don't know how to attach a positive feeling to stress and pressure, but there is one. There's a bulletproof feeling that comes over you, and it's really a pleasant one, and you kind of have to like that. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To do one of these jobs, you got to kind of love the flaming toboggan ride of it. You got to like it because everybody else is in the toboggan with you. You're doing it together, that's the joy. Everybody is doing it together and at the end of it you go, 'Hey! We survived! Pretty good show! Let's do it again tomorrow.'\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's it. It's the movement forward, because it never stops. You gotta love the downhill hurtle. There's no finish line. You got to just love missing all those trees that you could've hit today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Listen to the full interview!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/500303201/500392110\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2016 Fresh Air. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/\">Fresh Air\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Late+Show%27+Host+Says+He+Has+Finally+Found+His+Post-%27Colbert+Report%27+Voice&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It has been more than a year since Stephen Colbert \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/monkeysee/2014/04/10/301467811/stephen-colbert-the-end-of-one-joke-the-start-of-many-more\">took over\u003c/a> as host of CBS' \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>, and he's finally feeling comfortable being himself and not a character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>, Colbert spent nine years playing the role of a self-important blowhard on Comedy Central's \u003cem>The Colbert Report.\u003c/em> He tells \u003cem>Fresh Air\u003c/em>'s Terry Gross that he initially shied away from discussing politics or current events on \u003cem>The Late Show \u003c/em>in an effort to differentiate himself from his \u003cem>Colbert\u003c/em> persona.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It took me almost half a year to realize ... that you can have a highly opinionated, highly topical show as yourself and not essentially fall back into the basket of \u003cem>The Colbert Report,\" \u003c/em>he says.\u003cem> \"\u003c/em>Now I have no qualms about being sharp and satirical and highly opinionated and saying whatever's on my mind as quickly as I can.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This fall, Colbert's mind has been on the election. He's been doing political comedy nearly every night, but don't expect him to be at his \u003cem>Late Show \u003c/em>desk on election night. Colbert's Nov. 8 show will be pre-empted by CBS News coverage, so instead he'll be hosting the Showtime special \u003cem>Stephen Colbert's Live Election Night Democracy's Series Finale: Who's Going To Clean Up This S***? \u003c/em>He promises guest stars, special political commercials, musical guests and, of course, election results.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On why he decided to end \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Colbert R\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>eport\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The idea of \"truthiness\" — that was the thesis statement for the entire show, that how you feel is more important than what the facts are, and that the truth that you feel is correct is more important than anything that the facts could support. ... We embodied it satirically, though it's not really a new idea. ... But I didn't want to play that game anymore. ... I just couldn't take playing that character anymore. ... I began to feel like I was stumbling downhill with an armful of bottles and that I couldn't actually keep up the discipline, because it took discipline to remind myself every day to be the character, don't be yourself. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so I decided a couple years before the show ended that I was going to end the show. ... It wasn't because I didn't like it anymore — I still liked it — but I just thought, \u003cem>I'm not sure if I can actually keep this up without hurting someone. \u003c/em>\u003cem>... \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I thought maybe I would make some big mistake with the character because he would say terrible things. And I got away with some of the terrible things he would say or do because it was all filtered through his mask, but if I didn't maintain the mask, it would just be me being terrible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On getting \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em> offer\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It fell out of the sky. It was absolutely no part of my plans when I decided to end \u003cem>The Colbert R\u003c/em>\u003cem>eport. \u003c/em>It was a complete surprise to me. It hadn't been an ambition of mine, and I had just been an enormous fan of [David Letterman] and so I had great respect for what he had built. But when they called and said, \"OK, how about you?\" I was shocked. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love a live audience, I love the grind of every day and I love the people I work with. And it gave me all the things that I loved, and that was not a hard decision. ... To know that I could continue that was the greatest draw, and I also couldn't think of anything after \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Colbert Report\u003c/em> that would seem like a promotion other than taking over for Dave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On leaving his \u003cem>Colbert\u003c/em> character behind and finding his authentic voice on \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a confessional aspect to wearing a mask, the same reason why it's easier to confess behind a screen to a priest than face to face. So the character was a 10-year confession, perhaps indulging ego and appetite through the person of this character. Then you go onstage as yourself and you're responsible for everything you say and there's a natural inclination to pull your punch because you have to be responsible for what you're saying. You cannot hide behind the mask. ... It took me a little while to realize that the character was not in danger of re-emerging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the work pace of \u003cem>The Late Show\u003c/em> compared to \u003cem>The Colbert Report\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We would talk about a single subject maybe for a week, or we would think about one idea that we might do three or four days from now, or maybe two weeks from now as we developed the idea and how my character might put himself in that news story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, it's how fast can you talk about everything that happened in the news or in popular culture in the last 24 hours, and it's much faster than we used to work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The joke I've made is that we went from go-kart to NASCAR, with all the advertising stickers on the side of our car, too. But it's a different, much faster way of working than we used to. It's less essay; it's more like reportage with jokes than a columnist. I used be like a columnist and now I'm writing daily headlines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On how he handles the stress of the job\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You got to like the stress. ... I don't know how to attach a positive feeling to stress and pressure, but there is one. There's a bulletproof feeling that comes over you, and it's really a pleasant one, and you kind of have to like that. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To do one of these jobs, you got to kind of love the flaming toboggan ride of it. You got to like it because everybody else is in the toboggan with you. You're doing it together, that's the joy. Everybody is doing it together and at the end of it you go, 'Hey! We survived! Pretty good show! Let's do it again tomorrow.'\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's it. It's the movement forward, because it never stops. You gotta love the downhill hurtle. There's no finish line. You got to just love missing all those trees that you could've hit today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Listen to the full interview!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza gave Ross a sensual sponge bath, Blondie and Doc made out next to a horse's butt, and, oh yeah, Francis DIED. Will Ross make newly-widowed Pinky Ring his second wife, found a religion that permits polygamy, and move to Utah? Will Francis' ghost not realize he's dead and spend a lot of time trying to help a kid who sees dead people? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's been a few weeks since Francis drowned in a puddle and everyone is still really bummed about it. But they can surely take heart in the fact that he died discovering copper, right? Yeah, not so much. Turns out it was \"fool's copper.\" Francis' short life in a nutshell:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/2682207462_1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/2682207462_1.gif\" alt=\"2682207462_1\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bright and early, Ross informs Demelza that he's heading off to see Pinky Ring. Demelza is unamused: \"Is Verity's company not enough for her?\" Translation: \u003cem>Can we just skip this whole you-cheat-on-me-in-a-moment-of-weakness-and-lie-about-it-for-months thing? I'm tired.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In anticipation of Ross' visit, Pinky Ring makes sure her hair is on point and pinches her cheeks so that her coloring is as enticing as possible. Verity delivers an express package of \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em> side-eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44489\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-800x441.jpg\" alt=\"verity-poldark-side-eye\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-800x441.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-1020x562.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-1180x650.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-960x529.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-375x207.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-520x287.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Pinky Ring have apparently been galloping around Cornwall twice a week. Pinky Ring says it's to keep her four-year-old son abreast of the state of the mine. Verity, Agatha, Demelza and anyone else with eyes knows these field trips are actually about Ross keeping himself abreast of Pinky Ring's breasts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy and his uncle are really jazzed about sending Ross to debtor's prison for failing to pay his debts. Would modern day people spend this much time being evil, if we didn't have Netflix to distract us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, Ross and Pinky Ring flirt and pretend that they're not going to ruin Demelza's life really soon. Francis Jr. is an awkward plus-one on this date:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44490\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-800x412.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-elizabeth-kid\" width=\"800\" height=\"412\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-800x412.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-768x396.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-1020x525.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-1180x608.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-960x494.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-375x193.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-520x268.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid.jpg 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Doc finds a dead body (maybe from a shipwreck?). Before we can get any answers, Doc takes out a saw and starts cutting off the corpse's leg.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"publizity-wait-whet-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza advises Ross to just ask one of his rich friends to help him stay out of debtor's prison. For the umpteenth time, Ross lets her know he doesn't value her opinion and hates when she talks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Doc's bachelor pad, he's putting his fingers all in the corpse's severed leg. Then he has an Oprah A-ha! Moment™. He uses what he learned from this exercise in anatomy to fix some random villager's wonky knee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/britney-spears-huh.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44500\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/britney-spears-huh.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-huh\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross visits some random dude and says, \u003cem>I'm probably also going to be in jail pretty soon! LOL! \u003c/em>The prisoner tries to reason with him. Surely Ross can just sell his mine shares and avoid ruining his wife's life? Ross responds with,\u003cem> Nah, I prefer living in a constant state of chaos. And I haven't given a damn about my wife in months! LOL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way home, he runs into Horace the Pug!!! Blondie's there too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44501\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-800x414.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"414\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-800x414.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-160x83.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-768x398.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-1020x528.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-1180x611.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-960x497.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-375x194.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-520x269.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Doc tells Ross and Demelza about his huge crush on Blondie. (WE GET IT! GEEZ!) Then, Ross pretends Demelza doesn't exist and talks about how pointless life is, in light of how quickly you can drown in a puddle. Demelza looks at him like this for a really long time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44502\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-800x447.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-9-38-43-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-800x447.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-375x209.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-520x290.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM.png 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hate him, too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy has returned to say evil things to Tarot Card Agatha's face. \"I think it's high time the coffin-maker started taking measurements, old hag.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44503\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even if she was deaf, which she's not, she would probably be able to read lips pretty well. I cannot wait for whatever witchcraft she will use to murder this twerp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason for his visit: to give Pinky Ring some weird candy and remind her that she can pay off what Francis owed him via Visa, MasterCard, or preferably sexual favors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza tells Verity that the main pillar of a happy marriage is pretending to believe your husband isn't a cheating bastard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring explains to her son that she plans to smile less around the house so that she doesn't get wrinkles. Her son is just old enough to realize she's lost it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44504\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-800x413.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-elizabeth-tripping\" width=\"800\" height=\"413\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-800x413.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-160x83.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-768x396.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-1020x527.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-1180x609.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-960x496.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-375x194.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-520x268.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping.jpg 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a forest, Doc and Blondie make out next to a horse's butt. Again. This has become their thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44506\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-10-10-14-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-768x426.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM.png 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They eventually unlock their lips long enough for Blondie to speak some truth about Demelza and the futility of marrying men: \"She seems to be universally adored. She's the sort of woman that all men desire, except her husband. So often happens; no great incentive for marriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as I'm starting to like her, she goes back to her rich-people-rule-poor-people-drool routine. She thinks Doc's desire to help the needy is cute and all, but that he should move somewhere fancy and help \"his own kind\" instead. Making out next to horse butts seems fun, but surely they both realize their values are in such opposition that this could never work, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out they're still in the you're-so-hot-that-I-can't-recognize-any-of-your-obvious-flaws stage of their relationship. They celebrate their blissful ignorance by randomly racing each other on horseback (Blondie on side-saddle, of course, because she's not a harlot).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Always full of terrible ideas, Ross comes up with a plan. More illegal trading + storing stolen goods at home = lots of money and zero jail time. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, I'm barely literate and terrible at math, but that equation makes no goddamn sense! Just ask your rich friends for help, you proud idiot!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then this amazing exchange, which I've been anticipating for so long, takes place:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do I have your consent?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"YOU DARE TO ASK ME THAT, KNOWING VERY WELL YOU DO EXACTLY AS YOU PLEASE WITH OR WITHOUT MY SAY?!?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then she throws a rake at his face!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/applause-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44516\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/applause-gif.gif\" alt=\"applause-gif\" width=\"615\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm so very proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/proud-whitney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44517\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/proud-whitney-gif.gif\" alt=\"proud-whitney-gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things just get better with this close-up of Horace's face!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44838\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horace\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-1020x568.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-1180x657.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace.jpg 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's that, you say? I'm too obsessed with this magical pug? Tell it to my new socks:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792901832372686848\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, Blondie tells her uncle about wanting to hang out with Doc the following day. Her uncle freaks out: \u003cem>But everyone will think you're a whore! Next, you'll tell me you've stopped riding side-saddle.\u003c/em> *male tears* They agree to disagree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Pinky Ring's house, Verity lets everyone know she is going home tomorrow. Agatha's responds with my new favorite saying: \"FIDDLESTICKS!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792875375730630657\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Verity isn't backing down and shares her plans to make up for lost time with her husband by having lots and lots of sex. Agatha chokes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792897497395961856\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is annoyed at his uncle for inviting a bunch of 17-year-old girls to their Christmas party. Never one to miss an opportunity to be disgusting, his uncle says: \"Prime breeding stock. You may examine their teeth, if you choose.\" Can we speed up the advent of feminism, pretty please? Absolutely not? Oh. Okay then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another flirty hang with Pinky Ring, during which she complains about how her son isn't going to have as fat a trust fund as previously thought (#WhitePeopleProblems), Ross runs to his banker and tells him to sell a bunch of his mine shares and give all the money to Pinky Ring. The banker speaks for the audience at home:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Banker:\u003c/strong> \"You have your own wife and child to care for. Would it not seem that you value your cousin-in-law's comfort over hers?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"[Demelza] is a miner's daughter. She has learned to survive. Pinky Ring is a gentlewoman.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Banker:\u003c/strong> \"And you're a mad man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Amen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Blondie's house, Doc arrives after being summoned by her uncle. The interaction goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You better not have sex with my niece!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Sorry, but I'm definitely going to. Probably next to a horse's butt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Don't you dare!\u003c/em> \u003cem>I will cut off her inheritance!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Her trust fund is the most annoying part about her, so knock yourself out. Later!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy butters up Pinky Ring's mom, but who cares about that when Horace's the Pug's life partner just made his/her debut?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44870\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"horace-wife-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-520x292.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Verity is taking off. She gives Francis Jr. a kiss, gives Pinky Ring a look and says,\u003cem> Try not to be a homewrecker. Okay, bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Ross and his criminal buddies dig a huge hole in the living room to store illegal goods. Demelza knew he wouldn't listen to her, even after she screamed and threw a rake at his face. She watches him make yet another idiotic decision and shoots daggers into his back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44871\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-poldark-daggers-mad\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad.jpg 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bit later, some hot guy named Charlie shows up unannounced and sees the big hole in the living room. Judging by the sinister music, there's a 98% probability he's the Judas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross takes off his shirt (I hate him so much these days, I don't even care to see his hairy chest anymore) and goes to bed in the brattiest way possible. His response to Demelza's touch:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-44872 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash.gif\" alt=\"mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash\" width=\"853\" height=\"480\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whatever, dude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, he runs off to see Pinky Ring because duh. She just got a bunch of money from an anonymous person. Ross pretends it isn't him and then reminds her that he really wishes Demelza didn't exist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I regret that the circumstances are such that I cannot take care of you as I might wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"We both regret that, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I regret that both of you haven't been murdered by a puddle yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross then makes out with her hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44874\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-30-at-6-59-26-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-768x428.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-960x535.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-375x209.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-520x290.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM.png 1223w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-24.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44873\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-24.gif\" alt=\"giphy-24\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward a bit and it's Christmas! Maybe Ross will take a break from being the worst for one day? Yeah, no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"War now seems inevitable.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> *rolls eyes and sighs* \"Merry Christmas, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Now we know our last hope is gone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Siri, remind me to draft up divorce papers.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, she didn't actually say that last line, but a boy can dream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Agatha continues being the MVP of this entire show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha:\u003c/strong> \"Rose water?! Do I require a fumigant?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"No, aunt, but...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha: \"\u003c/strong>Francis always knew what I liked. Brandy wine, port and canary, preferably all three!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44883\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle.gif\" alt=\"karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle\" width=\"500\" height=\"252\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Agatha has more bon mots where that came from. Malfoy comes in and Agatha grabs Francis Jr. and says, \"Sit by me, child. Beware that man's pitchfork and his tail.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MdaeCpIqmA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy whisks Pinky Ring to a party so she can watch him examine 17-year-old girls' teeth. She gets jealous, just like he planned. Oy vey, Pinky Ring, Francis JUST died!!! Sure, he was boring, but come on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross and Demelza head to the banker's office to get things in order before Ross is taken to debtor's prison. But -- curveball -- Blondie anonymously bought his debt! She has a soul! Hurrah! (Although Ross does kind of deserve a jail sentence for his attitude at this point.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza skip on over to Malfoy's to revel in their sudden good fortune:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I regret to say I am unable to give you the satisfaction...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Most unfortunate.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...of visiting me in prison. You'll have to make due with this.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"What is this foolery?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Repayment. In full. With interest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy & Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"....\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We wish you both the compliments of the season.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/tumblr_n72a4kJ01L1smcbm7o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44884\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/tumblr_n72a4kJ01L1smcbm7o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n72a4kj01l1smcbm7o1_400\" width=\"320\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle freaks out in a major way, but Malfoy reassures him that he'll get revenge by marrying Ross' ex. You can have her, bro.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Pinky Ring's house, where she receives a care package from Malfoy. I'll let Agatha's eye roll speak on my behalf:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792923043731345408\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, he wants to make amends for being such a jerk this past year. He gives Demelza sexy stockings and seductively helps her put them on. Then they have kinky sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross.\u003c/strong> It's going to take more than a pair of stockings and a roll in the hay to make up for all the crap he's been pulling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Demelza's Forgotten Dog. \u003c/strong>What ever happened to him? We haven't seen him for several episodes. Did a puddle murder him? I hope he's okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>If her singing career doesn't pan out, she should be a yoga teacher, 'cause she has mastered the art of breathing through other people's BS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Blondie.\u003c/strong>\u003cem> \u003c/em>She did good. Now, all she has to do is abstain from giving her opinion on the poor and there won't be any problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Agatha. \u003c/strong>She coined a catchphrase (\"Fiddlesticks!\"), threw shade at Malfoy, served up a healthy dose of side-eye, and gave an impassioned speech about her favorite types of booze. No one else comes close.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Ross tries not to cheat on his wife. Ross' wife tries not to kill him. There's more making out next to horse butts. ",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza gave Ross a sensual sponge bath, Blondie and Doc made out next to a horse's butt, and, oh yeah, Francis DIED. Will Ross make newly-widowed Pinky Ring his second wife, found a religion that permits polygamy, and move to Utah? Will Francis' ghost not realize he's dead and spend a lot of time trying to help a kid who sees dead people? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's been a few weeks since Francis drowned in a puddle and everyone is still really bummed about it. But they can surely take heart in the fact that he died discovering copper, right? Yeah, not so much. Turns out it was \"fool's copper.\" Francis' short life in a nutshell:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/2682207462_1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/2682207462_1.gif\" alt=\"2682207462_1\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bright and early, Ross informs Demelza that he's heading off to see Pinky Ring. Demelza is unamused: \"Is Verity's company not enough for her?\" Translation: \u003cem>Can we just skip this whole you-cheat-on-me-in-a-moment-of-weakness-and-lie-about-it-for-months thing? I'm tired.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In anticipation of Ross' visit, Pinky Ring makes sure her hair is on point and pinches her cheeks so that her coloring is as enticing as possible. Verity delivers an express package of \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em> side-eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44489\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-800x441.jpg\" alt=\"verity-poldark-side-eye\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-800x441.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-1020x562.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-1180x650.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-960x529.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-375x207.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye-520x287.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/verity-poldark-side-eye.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Pinky Ring have apparently been galloping around Cornwall twice a week. Pinky Ring says it's to keep her four-year-old son abreast of the state of the mine. Verity, Agatha, Demelza and anyone else with eyes knows these field trips are actually about Ross keeping himself abreast of Pinky Ring's breasts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy and his uncle are really jazzed about sending Ross to debtor's prison for failing to pay his debts. Would modern day people spend this much time being evil, if we didn't have Netflix to distract us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, Ross and Pinky Ring flirt and pretend that they're not going to ruin Demelza's life really soon. Francis Jr. is an awkward plus-one on this date:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44490\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-800x412.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-elizabeth-kid\" width=\"800\" height=\"412\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-800x412.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-768x396.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-1020x525.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-1180x608.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-960x494.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-375x193.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid-520x268.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-kid.jpg 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Doc finds a dead body (maybe from a shipwreck?). Before we can get any answers, Doc takes out a saw and starts cutting off the corpse's leg.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"publizity-wait-whet-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza advises Ross to just ask one of his rich friends to help him stay out of debtor's prison. For the umpteenth time, Ross lets her know he doesn't value her opinion and hates when she talks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Doc's bachelor pad, he's putting his fingers all in the corpse's severed leg. Then he has an Oprah A-ha! Moment™. He uses what he learned from this exercise in anatomy to fix some random villager's wonky knee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/britney-spears-huh.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44500\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/britney-spears-huh.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-huh\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross visits some random dude and says, \u003cem>I'm probably also going to be in jail pretty soon! LOL! \u003c/em>The prisoner tries to reason with him. Surely Ross can just sell his mine shares and avoid ruining his wife's life? Ross responds with,\u003cem> Nah, I prefer living in a constant state of chaos. And I haven't given a damn about my wife in months! LOL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way home, he runs into Horace the Pug!!! Blondie's there too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44501\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-800x414.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"414\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-800x414.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-160x83.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-768x398.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-1020x528.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-1180x611.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-960x497.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-375x194.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-520x269.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Doc tells Ross and Demelza about his huge crush on Blondie. (WE GET IT! GEEZ!) Then, Ross pretends Demelza doesn't exist and talks about how pointless life is, in light of how quickly you can drown in a puddle. Demelza looks at him like this for a really long time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44502\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-800x447.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-9-38-43-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-800x447.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-375x209.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM-520x290.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-9.38.43-PM.png 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hate him, too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy has returned to say evil things to Tarot Card Agatha's face. \"I think it's high time the coffin-maker started taking measurements, old hag.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44503\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"how-dare-you-dance-moms-gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even if she was deaf, which she's not, she would probably be able to read lips pretty well. I cannot wait for whatever witchcraft she will use to murder this twerp.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason for his visit: to give Pinky Ring some weird candy and remind her that she can pay off what Francis owed him via Visa, MasterCard, or preferably sexual favors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza tells Verity that the main pillar of a happy marriage is pretending to believe your husband isn't a cheating bastard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring explains to her son that she plans to smile less around the house so that she doesn't get wrinkles. Her son is just old enough to realize she's lost it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44504\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-800x413.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-elizabeth-tripping\" width=\"800\" height=\"413\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-800x413.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-160x83.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-768x396.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-1020x527.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-1180x609.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-960x496.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-240x124.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-375x194.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping-520x268.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/poldark-elizabeth-tripping.jpg 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a forest, Doc and Blondie make out next to a horse's butt. Again. This has become their thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44506\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-10-10-14-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-768x426.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-28-at-10.10.14-PM.png 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They eventually unlock their lips long enough for Blondie to speak some truth about Demelza and the futility of marrying men: \"She seems to be universally adored. She's the sort of woman that all men desire, except her husband. So often happens; no great incentive for marriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as I'm starting to like her, she goes back to her rich-people-rule-poor-people-drool routine. She thinks Doc's desire to help the needy is cute and all, but that he should move somewhere fancy and help \"his own kind\" instead. Making out next to horse butts seems fun, but surely they both realize their values are in such opposition that this could never work, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out they're still in the you're-so-hot-that-I-can't-recognize-any-of-your-obvious-flaws stage of their relationship. They celebrate their blissful ignorance by randomly racing each other on horseback (Blondie on side-saddle, of course, because she's not a harlot).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Always full of terrible ideas, Ross comes up with a plan. More illegal trading + storing stolen goods at home = lots of money and zero jail time. Demelza is like, \u003cem>Um, I'm barely literate and terrible at math, but that equation makes no goddamn sense! Just ask your rich friends for help, you proud idiot!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then this amazing exchange, which I've been anticipating for so long, takes place:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do I have your consent?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"YOU DARE TO ASK ME THAT, KNOWING VERY WELL YOU DO EXACTLY AS YOU PLEASE WITH OR WITHOUT MY SAY?!?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then she throws a rake at his face!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/applause-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44516\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/applause-gif.gif\" alt=\"applause-gif\" width=\"615\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm so very proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/proud-whitney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44517\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/proud-whitney-gif.gif\" alt=\"proud-whitney-gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things just get better with this close-up of Horace's face!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44838\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horace\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-1020x568.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-1180x657.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace.jpg 1230w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's that, you say? I'm too obsessed with this magical pug? Tell it to my new socks:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Anyway, Blondie tells her uncle about wanting to hang out with Doc the following day. Her uncle freaks out: \u003cem>But everyone will think you're a whore! Next, you'll tell me you've stopped riding side-saddle.\u003c/em> *male tears* They agree to disagree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Pinky Ring's house, Verity lets everyone know she is going home tomorrow. Agatha's responds with my new favorite saying: \"FIDDLESTICKS!\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>But Verity isn't backing down and shares her plans to make up for lost time with her husband by having lots and lots of sex. Agatha chokes:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is annoyed at his uncle for inviting a bunch of 17-year-old girls to their Christmas party. Never one to miss an opportunity to be disgusting, his uncle says: \"Prime breeding stock. You may examine their teeth, if you choose.\" Can we speed up the advent of feminism, pretty please? Absolutely not? Oh. Okay then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another flirty hang with Pinky Ring, during which she complains about how her son isn't going to have as fat a trust fund as previously thought (#WhitePeopleProblems), Ross runs to his banker and tells him to sell a bunch of his mine shares and give all the money to Pinky Ring. The banker speaks for the audience at home:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Banker:\u003c/strong> \"You have your own wife and child to care for. Would it not seem that you value your cousin-in-law's comfort over hers?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"[Demelza] is a miner's daughter. She has learned to survive. Pinky Ring is a gentlewoman.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Banker:\u003c/strong> \"And you're a mad man.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Amen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Blondie's house, Doc arrives after being summoned by her uncle. The interaction goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You better not have sex with my niece!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Sorry, but I'm definitely going to. Probably next to a horse's butt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Don't you dare!\u003c/em> \u003cem>I will cut off her inheritance!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Her trust fund is the most annoying part about her, so knock yourself out. Later!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy butters up Pinky Ring's mom, but who cares about that when Horace's the Pug's life partner just made his/her debut?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44870\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"horace-wife-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark-520x292.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-wife-poldark.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Verity is taking off. She gives Francis Jr. a kiss, gives Pinky Ring a look and says,\u003cem> Try not to be a homewrecker. Okay, bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Ross and his criminal buddies dig a huge hole in the living room to store illegal goods. Demelza knew he wouldn't listen to her, even after she screamed and threw a rake at his face. She watches him make yet another idiotic decision and shoots daggers into his back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44871\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-poldark-daggers-mad\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-poldark-daggers-mad.jpg 1229w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bit later, some hot guy named Charlie shows up unannounced and sees the big hole in the living room. Judging by the sinister music, there's a 98% probability he's the Judas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross takes off his shirt (I hate him so much these days, I don't even care to see his hairy chest anymore) and goes to bed in the brattiest way possible. His response to Demelza's touch:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-44872 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash.gif\" alt=\"mlfw1817-92393_-_animated_grump_rainbow_dash\" width=\"853\" height=\"480\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whatever, dude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, he runs off to see Pinky Ring because duh. She just got a bunch of money from an anonymous person. Ross pretends it isn't him and then reminds her that he really wishes Demelza didn't exist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I regret that the circumstances are such that I cannot take care of you as I might wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"We both regret that, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I regret that both of you haven't been murdered by a puddle yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross then makes out with her hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-44874\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"screen-shot-2016-10-30-at-6-59-26-pm\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-768x428.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-960x535.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-375x209.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM-520x290.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-30-at-6.59.26-PM.png 1223w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-24.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44873\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-24.gif\" alt=\"giphy-24\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward a bit and it's Christmas! Maybe Ross will take a break from being the worst for one day? Yeah, no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"War now seems inevitable.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> *rolls eyes and sighs* \"Merry Christmas, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Now we know our last hope is gone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Siri, remind me to draft up divorce papers.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, she didn't actually say that last line, but a boy can dream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Agatha continues being the MVP of this entire show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha:\u003c/strong> \"Rose water?! Do I require a fumigant?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"No, aunt, but...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Agatha: \"\u003c/strong>Francis always knew what I liked. Brandy wine, port and canary, preferably all three!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44883\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle.gif\" alt=\"karen-walker-drinking-from-the-bottle\" width=\"500\" height=\"252\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Agatha has more bon mots where that came from. Malfoy comes in and Agatha grabs Francis Jr. and says, \"Sit by me, child. Beware that man's pitchfork and his tail.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/8MdaeCpIqmA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/8MdaeCpIqmA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Malfoy whisks Pinky Ring to a party so she can watch him examine 17-year-old girls' teeth. She gets jealous, just like he planned. Oy vey, Pinky Ring, Francis JUST died!!! Sure, he was boring, but come on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross and Demelza head to the banker's office to get things in order before Ross is taken to debtor's prison. But -- curveball -- Blondie anonymously bought his debt! She has a soul! Hurrah! (Although Ross does kind of deserve a jail sentence for his attitude at this point.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza skip on over to Malfoy's to revel in their sudden good fortune:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I regret to say I am unable to give you the satisfaction...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Most unfortunate.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...of visiting me in prison. You'll have to make due with this.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"What is this foolery?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Repayment. In full. With interest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy & Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"....\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We wish you both the compliments of the season.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/tumblr_n72a4kJ01L1smcbm7o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44884\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/tumblr_n72a4kJ01L1smcbm7o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n72a4kj01l1smcbm7o1_400\" width=\"320\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle freaks out in a major way, but Malfoy reassures him that he'll get revenge by marrying Ross' ex. You can have her, bro.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Pinky Ring's house, where she receives a care package from Malfoy. I'll let Agatha's eye roll speak on my behalf:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, he wants to make amends for being such a jerk this past year. He gives Demelza sexy stockings and seductively helps her put them on. Then they have kinky sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Ross.\u003c/strong> It's going to take more than a pair of stockings and a roll in the hay to make up for all the crap he's been pulling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Demelza's Forgotten Dog. \u003c/strong>What ever happened to him? We haven't seen him for several episodes. Did a puddle murder him? I hope he's okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>If her singing career doesn't pan out, she should be a yoga teacher, 'cause she has mastered the art of breathing through other people's BS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>SILVER: \u003c/em>Blondie.\u003c/strong>\u003cem> \u003c/em>She did good. Now, all she has to do is abstain from giving her opinion on the poor and there won't be any problems.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Agatha. \u003c/strong>She coined a catchphrase (\"Fiddlesticks!\"), threw shade at Malfoy, served up a healthy dose of side-eye, and gave an impassioned speech about her favorite types of booze. No one else comes close.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "All the Things Abbi Jacobson Revealed to Carrie Brownstein Last Night",
"title": "All the Things Abbi Jacobson Revealed to Carrie Brownstein Last Night",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> premiered on Comedy Central in January 2014, making overnight stars out of BFFs Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer. Since then, the comedy duo has given us so much -- three hilarious seasons, a \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/03/16/broad-city-keyboard-just-made-your-texts-way-more-exciting/\">texting keyboard app\u003c/a>, the \u003ca href=\"http://i.makeagif.com/media/3-20-2015/Xdyxd-.gif\">perfect rebuttal\u003c/a> to \"You should smile more,\" a \u003ca href=\"https://bunkr-private-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/4/1/b/41bca5fc-c665-4191-a967-098470dbc6a0_low.gif\">foolproof exit strategy\u003c/a>, and a \u003ca href=\"https://67.media.tumblr.com/28cd2690fda94e2b03f22089f455c614/tumblr_nkrxv5Vouy1qb9pa3o1_500.gif\">motto to live by\u003c/a>, to name just a few.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like Nutella and banana, Abbi and Ilana are great either together or apart. While on hiatus from \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>, they've kept busy working on separate projects. On Saturday night, Abbi passed through San Francisco for a City Arts & Lectures event, hosted by Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney and \u003cem>Portlandia\u003c/em> fame, to talk about hers: an illustrated book titled \u003cem>Carry This Book\u003c/em>, which imagines what an assortment of famous and fictional people have in their bags.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_44840\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-44840\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi.jpg\" alt=\"Abbi Jacobsen and Carrie Brownstein at the Nourse Theater, Oct. 29, 2016.\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-160x100.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-768x480.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-240x150.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-375x234.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-520x325.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Abbi Jacobsen and Carrie Brownstein at the Nourse Theater, Oct. 29, 2016. \u003ccite>(Liz Seward)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Here are all the new things I learned about Abbi Jacobson and her work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Carry This Book\u003c/em> was inspired by Tim O'Brien's \u003cem>The Things They Carried\u003c/em>, a collection of short stories about the Vietnam War. Abbi read it in middle school, and the way O'Brien defined each of his characters by their objects stuck with her.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The publishing company was too nervous about potential legal trouble to put Harry Potter in the book, but they took the risk with Donald Trump, which is a-OK with Abbi: \"I don't think there's anything in there that anyone would sue me for,\" she said, \"but Donald Trump just sues anyone for anything. That'd be awesome. That would be so crazy if he sued me for my illustrating book.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-44818\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/FullSizeRender-1020x798.jpg\" alt=\"fullsizerender\" width=\"426\" height=\"337\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>She insisted that mistakes she made while creating the book be kept in the final product, except for one: \"The one mistake that I had them fix because I was like, I can't, I'm a f-ing idiot; Hillary Rodham Clinton was spelled wrong. I left out the 'h' and they didn't catch it and I got the proofs back and I was like 'Rodam?!? You guys, pop me an 'h' from somewhere else in the book. We gotta drag it up in there.' They did, so now you know I'm a phony. I'm a fake!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Hillary Clinton's cameo on \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> will make it into the final montage of Abbi's life experiences: \"When I die, that moment when I say I pegged to Hillary Clinton, gotta be top 5.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJgM4_C3gvE\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> would have never existed were it not for... AOL? Abbi and Ilana once worked next to each other at a Groupon-esque company called Lifebooker, an experience that is reflected in the show through Ilana's job. As you might guess, the gig wasn't exactly profitable, but everything changed when Abbi got a couple grand for an illustrating job at AOL. She put the money toward pitching \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> and the rest is herstory.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>While we're on the topic, Abbi still has an AOL email address. \"Figure it out. Try a couple out.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>We also have AOL to thank for \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>’s rad opening credit illustrations. They're the work of Mike Perry, an artist who was hired to do the same rebranding work as Abbi at AOL.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>https://vimeo.com/90294230\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The following exchange about a \"dopp kit\" doesn't have anything to do with Abbi or her work, but was one of the funniest moments of the night:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"What about the term 'dopp kit'? Do you guys know this term?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"Are you saying D-O-B?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"I don't know! I don't know what I'm saying. Is it a men's toiletry bag?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Entire audience:\u003c/strong> \"YES!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"Woah!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The two shared another hilarious exchange about \u003cem>The Life‑Changing Magic of Tidying Up\u003c/em>, Marie Kondo's tutorial on how to get rid of junk you don't love:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"I read that book and I didn't really do it. That's why she's so rich. Everyone is like 'I read it. I didn't do it, but I read it.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"The one thing you can't get rid of is the guilt you feel after you read it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_44842\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-44842\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-800x642.jpg\" alt=\"Carrie Brownstein and Abbi Jacobsen backstage at the Nourse Theater.\" width=\"800\" height=\"642\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-800x642.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-160x128.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-768x617.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-1020x819.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-960x771.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-240x193.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-375x301.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-520x417.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Carrie Brownstein and Abbi Jacobsen backstage at the Nourse Theater. \u003ccite>(City Arts & Lectures/Instagram)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Comedy wasn't Abbi's first love. Visual art came first, as a sort of inheritance; everyone in her immediate family is an artist.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>After receiving her degree in Fine Arts from Maryland Institute College of Art, Abbi was bitten by the acting bug. She moved to New York to take part in a two-year conservatory in an effort to become a dramatic actress. She lasted one week.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Her favorite \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> scene was improvised. Fans of the show might remember Ilana and Lincoln, played by Hannibal Buress, making out in a dentist's office. The plan was for Abbi to just awkwardly stand there. But Ilana flipped the script by trying to get Abbi in on the action. Abbi tapped into her improv training and responded with a \u003cem>Yes, and... I'm going to roll away from this situation. \u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>http://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/c_limit,w_680/q_80,vc_auto/Pu_yWeed_botnyv.mp4\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi likes to listen to Philip Glass while writing. \"Which is so depressing when you're writing a comedy show.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi is in love with \u003cem>The Great British Bake-Off\u003c/em>. \"It's so good! The stakes are so low! They always say the words 'soggy bottoms' and 'is the crust flakey enough?' and it's just normal people, everyday people that have other jobs and they come in on the weekend to the tent and they're cooking and... I just love it!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi worried that her love of classical music and British reality show imports made her \"not right for [her] demo,\" but she earned her Millennial cred back by some on-stage Instagramming:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>https://www.instagram.com/p/BMLS4ipB-Le/?taken-by=abbijacobson&hl=en\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The radio broadcast of Abbi Jacobsen's talk with Carrie Brownstein at City Arts & Lectures airs on KQED 88.5 FM or KQED.org on Sunday, Nov. 6, at 1pm and Tuesday, Nov. 8, at 8pm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> premiered on Comedy Central in January 2014, making overnight stars out of BFFs Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer. Since then, the comedy duo has given us so much -- three hilarious seasons, a \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/03/16/broad-city-keyboard-just-made-your-texts-way-more-exciting/\">texting keyboard app\u003c/a>, the \u003ca href=\"http://i.makeagif.com/media/3-20-2015/Xdyxd-.gif\">perfect rebuttal\u003c/a> to \"You should smile more,\" a \u003ca href=\"https://bunkr-private-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/4/1/b/41bca5fc-c665-4191-a967-098470dbc6a0_low.gif\">foolproof exit strategy\u003c/a>, and a \u003ca href=\"https://67.media.tumblr.com/28cd2690fda94e2b03f22089f455c614/tumblr_nkrxv5Vouy1qb9pa3o1_500.gif\">motto to live by\u003c/a>, to name just a few.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like Nutella and banana, Abbi and Ilana are great either together or apart. While on hiatus from \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>, they've kept busy working on separate projects. On Saturday night, Abbi passed through San Francisco for a City Arts & Lectures event, hosted by Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney and \u003cem>Portlandia\u003c/em> fame, to talk about hers: an illustrated book titled \u003cem>Carry This Book\u003c/em>, which imagines what an assortment of famous and fictional people have in their bags.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_44840\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-44840\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi.jpg\" alt=\"Abbi Jacobsen and Carrie Brownstein at the Nourse Theater, Oct. 29, 2016.\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-160x100.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-768x480.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-240x150.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-375x234.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/CarrieAbbi-520x325.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Abbi Jacobsen and Carrie Brownstein at the Nourse Theater, Oct. 29, 2016. \u003ccite>(Liz Seward)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Here are all the new things I learned about Abbi Jacobson and her work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Carry This Book\u003c/em> was inspired by Tim O'Brien's \u003cem>The Things They Carried\u003c/em>, a collection of short stories about the Vietnam War. Abbi read it in middle school, and the way O'Brien defined each of his characters by their objects stuck with her.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The publishing company was too nervous about potential legal trouble to put Harry Potter in the book, but they took the risk with Donald Trump, which is a-OK with Abbi: \"I don't think there's anything in there that anyone would sue me for,\" she said, \"but Donald Trump just sues anyone for anything. That'd be awesome. That would be so crazy if he sued me for my illustrating book.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-44818\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/FullSizeRender-1020x798.jpg\" alt=\"fullsizerender\" width=\"426\" height=\"337\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>She insisted that mistakes she made while creating the book be kept in the final product, except for one: \"The one mistake that I had them fix because I was like, I can't, I'm a f-ing idiot; Hillary Rodham Clinton was spelled wrong. I left out the 'h' and they didn't catch it and I got the proofs back and I was like 'Rodam?!? You guys, pop me an 'h' from somewhere else in the book. We gotta drag it up in there.' They did, so now you know I'm a phony. I'm a fake!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Hillary Clinton's cameo on \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> will make it into the final montage of Abbi's life experiences: \"When I die, that moment when I say I pegged to Hillary Clinton, gotta be top 5.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/lJgM4_C3gvE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/lJgM4_C3gvE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> would have never existed were it not for... AOL? Abbi and Ilana once worked next to each other at a Groupon-esque company called Lifebooker, an experience that is reflected in the show through Ilana's job. As you might guess, the gig wasn't exactly profitable, but everything changed when Abbi got a couple grand for an illustrating job at AOL. She put the money toward pitching \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> and the rest is herstory.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>While we're on the topic, Abbi still has an AOL email address. \"Figure it out. Try a couple out.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>We also have AOL to thank for \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>’s rad opening credit illustrations. They're the work of Mike Perry, an artist who was hired to do the same rebranding work as Abbi at AOL.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The following exchange about a \"dopp kit\" doesn't have anything to do with Abbi or her work, but was one of the funniest moments of the night:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"What about the term 'dopp kit'? Do you guys know this term?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"Are you saying D-O-B?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"I don't know! I don't know what I'm saying. Is it a men's toiletry bag?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Entire audience:\u003c/strong> \"YES!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"Woah!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The two shared another hilarious exchange about \u003cem>The Life‑Changing Magic of Tidying Up\u003c/em>, Marie Kondo's tutorial on how to get rid of junk you don't love:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Abbi:\u003c/strong> \"I read that book and I didn't really do it. That's why she's so rich. Everyone is like 'I read it. I didn't do it, but I read it.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Carrie:\u003c/strong> \"The one thing you can't get rid of is the guilt you feel after you read it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_44842\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-44842\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-800x642.jpg\" alt=\"Carrie Brownstein and Abbi Jacobsen backstage at the Nourse Theater.\" width=\"800\" height=\"642\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-800x642.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-160x128.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-768x617.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-1020x819.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-960x771.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-240x193.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-375x301.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_-520x417.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/AbbiCarrie.IG_.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Carrie Brownstein and Abbi Jacobsen backstage at the Nourse Theater. \u003ccite>(City Arts & Lectures/Instagram)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Comedy wasn't Abbi's first love. Visual art came first, as a sort of inheritance; everyone in her immediate family is an artist.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>After receiving her degree in Fine Arts from Maryland Institute College of Art, Abbi was bitten by the acting bug. She moved to New York to take part in a two-year conservatory in an effort to become a dramatic actress. She lasted one week.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Her favorite \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> scene was improvised. Fans of the show might remember Ilana and Lincoln, played by Hannibal Buress, making out in a dentist's office. The plan was for Abbi to just awkwardly stand there. But Ilana flipped the script by trying to get Abbi in on the action. Abbi tapped into her improv training and responded with a \u003cem>Yes, and... I'm going to roll away from this situation. \u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>http://images.complex.com/complex/image/upload/c_limit,w_680/q_80,vc_auto/Pu_yWeed_botnyv.mp4\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi likes to listen to Philip Glass while writing. \"Which is so depressing when you're writing a comedy show.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi is in love with \u003cem>The Great British Bake-Off\u003c/em>. \"It's so good! The stakes are so low! They always say the words 'soggy bottoms' and 'is the crust flakey enough?' and it's just normal people, everyday people that have other jobs and they come in on the weekend to the tent and they're cooking and... I just love it!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Abbi worried that her love of classical music and British reality show imports made her \"not right for [her] demo,\" but she earned her Millennial cred back by some on-stage Instagramming:\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The radio broadcast of Abbi Jacobsen's talk with Carrie Brownstein at City Arts & Lectures airs on KQED 88.5 FM or KQED.org on Sunday, Nov. 6, at 1pm and Tuesday, Nov. 8, at 8pm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">Last time on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out with his thumbs, Demelza almost gave birth in a boat, and an assortment of boring mining things happened. Will Ross call up his buddy Suge Knight and have Malfoy killed once and for all? Will Demelza finally surprise drop the album she's been working on? Will a witch transform Horace the Pug into a really hot dude that I can marry? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not an afternoon in Cornwall if a poor person isn't being arrested. This time, it's a dude named Ted. Someone within his inner circle betrayed him. It could literally be anyone because 99% of the denizens of this county are the worst. (\u003cem>Infuriating historical side note:\u003c/em> The prick who finked on Anne Frank and co. was never discovered or persecuted. Karma is a myth.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza and Ross' brand new son is already walking, so some time has passed between episodes. Enough time for Ross to have gotten over his man baby antics? Ha! Nope! He's still doing his \u003cem>You can't tell me what to do! You're not my mom!\u003c/em> bit with Demelza. This time, they're arguing over whether it's a good idea for Ross to attend Ted's trial, considering that he's part of the same illegal trading #squad. Ross basically plugs his ears and says\u003cem> La la la, I can't hear you!\u003c/em> \u003cem>I'm going and that's that! I do what I want!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie is back after a year in London. The only reason I care is that she brought Horace the Pug with her. He seems to be in good spirits! And he's craving some marzipan. Aw, never change, dream pup!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-43355\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-again\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again.jpg 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and, in case you care, Blondie's uncle is annoyed at Parliament Wannabe for not being able to seal the deal in getting Blondie to agree to marriage. What don't these men understand? A human husband is completely unnecessary when the canine variety is way cuter and far more loyal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Tarot Card Agatha has a chronic cough. Nooo! Don't you dare leave me alone with these people, you wonderful broad. If the Dowager Countess can defy science and survive long enough to be in every \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> episode, so can you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ted's trial because the town gallows aren't going to fill themselves. The judge wants to sentence Ted to death because why not? But -- plot twist -- Backstabber Cousin is randomly a magistrate and urges the judge to have some chill. The judge is convinced (probably due in part to the cute little wig Backstabber Cousin is wearing) and only sentences Ted to three months of hard labor, which is basically summer camp to these people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the center of town, Doc runs into a Horace-less Blondie. She's surprised all the voodoo dolls she's made in his likeness haven't had any effect on him. Someone please find a working time machine and send this girl a copy of \u003cem>He's Just Not That Into You. \u003c/em>She needs it so desperately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard about Tarot Card Agatha's ailment, Verity decides to come stay for a while. Tarot Card Agatha and I are both super stoked to have her back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-43357\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-800x448.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-22 at 10.42.42 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-800x448.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-768x430.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-1020x571.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-1180x660.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-960x537.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-520x291.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy's uncle is snorting drugs. He's also plotting a new evil scheme. The sky is blue. (Or overcast, I guess, since this is Cornwall.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Blondie's uncle is throwing a rave to announce Blondie's engagement. Before everyone adorns themselves in glow-in-the-dark accessories and engages in whatever the 1785 version of twerking is, dinner is served. For some reason, all the couples are split up. Demelza has to deal with being bookended by Blondie's slobbering uncle and Ross' slobbering bestie from the war (who apparently doesn't own any regular clothes because he's always wearing the same uniform).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Ross is seated next to his ex, Pinky Ring. They don't waste any time bringing up how they both wish they could have sex with each other. All of a sudden, Pinky Ring is really into polyamory: \"Can not a woman love two men? Can not a man love two women?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRWnIYaj6uk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After dinner, Blondie trolls Parliament Wannabe so hard that he runs away from the party. No one is bothered in the least that the engagement party is missing an engagement. Ross, Demelza, Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring all engage in a do-si-do type of dance, which involves wife swapping. Pinky Ring's poly fantasies are one step closer to coming true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, a fight breaks out in the mine. The workers are accusing some dude named Nick of being the betrayer. Ross gets involved because that's what he loves most in the world. Apparently, Nick has a history of being a terrible human being. Remember Jim from season 1, who got thrown in jail for poaching and died of typhus before he could meet his own baby? Yeah, that was this guy's fault. And remember when Ross was on trial and was almost sentenced to death? This guy took money from Malfoy to testify against him. So, um, why did this fight take this long to happen? KILL HIM!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross just might because Nick calls him a poser and says that having sex with a \"scullery maid\" doesn't equate to knowing the first thing about the poor man's struggle. Ross promptly head butts him and then punches him in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/bHbqoou.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43554\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/bHbqoou.gif\" alt=\"bHbqoou\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is practicing his best \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> moves in heels again. His uncle interrupts by unveiling his latest scheme: he managed to buy a promissory note that says Ross owes £1,000. They will now use this to ruin our curly-haired hero. Here we go again... This town needs a movie theater or a bowling alley or something. Idle hands and what not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy runs over to Pinky Ring's house with yet another proposition: he won't do anything evil with the promissory note, if she becomes \"friends\" with him. That's code for third base, if not a homer. She says she'll think about it, especially now that she's poly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Malfoy runs into Tarot Card Agatha, who doesn't waste any time talking smack about how she's disliked him and his terrible clothes since he was a boy. Go in, Agatha, go in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Believing she's deaf, Malfoy says truly evil things right to her face: \"There should be a law to kill off old crones. If you were the last of the Poldarks, I'd do it myself. I hope when I next call you'll be six feet below.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>WOW. You can try to kill off Ross all you want, but going after my girl, Agatha? NOPE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-43530 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\" alt=\"trying to piss me off mission dance moms\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, his bestie from the war drops in on Demelza. He basically says, \u003cem>Ross headbutted this dude, which makes it plainly obvious he's tied up in this illegal trading stuff. Make him stop or I will have to hang him. Cool? Cool. By the way, this tea is amazing. Bengal spice?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Doc runs into Blondie again. OMG, JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY. He tries walking right past her, but she stops him in his tracks by apologizing for hoping poor people die and all that jazz. He promptly forgets that she has no soul and confesses his love for her because she's pretty. Or maybe it's because shacking up with her means playing with Horace the Pug any time he wants. The second reason is totally valid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Demelza's, Ross blames her for the War BFF's visit. Surely it's her flirting that keeps him coming around and not all of his illegal troublemaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/why-are-boys-such-jerks-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43534\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/why-are-boys-such-jerks-gif.gif\" alt=\"why are boys such jerks gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin finds out about Malfoy's visit and heads off to make amends or confront him or something. No one is paying attention to Tarot Card Agatha, who says: \"Wished me dead, he did. Called me old crone. BIG mistake!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/xtina-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-43531 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/xtina-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"xtina excited gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/stevie-family-guy-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-43533 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/stevie-family-guy-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"stevie family guy excited gif\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/sailor-moon-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-43532 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/sailor-moon-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"sailor moon excited gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"391\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin drops in on Malfoy and uses a lot of words, including the term \"noxiousness,\" to get a simple message across: \u003cem>We are never ever ever getting back together. I hope you die. Later!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, things are VERY WEIRD. Despite the fact that he just accused Demelza of being a flirty floozy, she's giving him a sponge bath. Ross keeps bobbing up and down and making I'm-getting-an-underwater-hand-job faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43535\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 10.53.13 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1020x567.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM.png 1659w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43536\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 10.51.37 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-160x88.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-768x423.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-1020x562.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-1180x650.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-960x529.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-240x132.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-375x207.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-520x286.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM.png 1674w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good for him, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's not the only one getting it on. In a forest, Doc meets up with Blondie. He confesses to being socially awkward and she's like, \u003cem>OMG, me too!\u003c/em> Then they make out next to a horse's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43537\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 11.06.30 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Early the next morning, Backstabber Cousin tenderly caresses a sleeping Pinky Ring. Their son wakes up and Backstabber Cousin says, \"I'll be home in time to read you a story.\" Hmm. That sure seems like when a character in a horror movie says they'll be right back and then they get butchered. Is he really about to get killed off?! Oh, boy, now I feel bad about all the jokes I've made at his expense.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin, who I will now call by his real name Francis, heads to the mine and thinks he's found copper! So he hurries over to Ross' to tell him the good news and at long last get his cousin's approval. Ross isn't home though, but Demelza is. Francis delivers a touching speech about how she shouldn't be so hard on herself and how she's just as good as Pinky Ring and Ross is lucky to have found her. Okay, yeah, he's definitely going to die today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's, Doc has diagnosed Tarot Card Agatha's ailment. Turns out she was just faking to get Verity to come back. So many tricks up her octogenarian sleeve! When confronted, Agatha is like, \u003cem>Okay, you got me! I really like slumber parties and will do or say whatever I need to do or say to arrange one! Sue me! Oh, and P.S. my tarot cards say something really F-ed up is about to happen.\u003c/em> No one believes her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down in the mine, Francis finds evidence of copper. He traces it on the wall and follows it deeper and deeper into the mine until he falls into a random puddle just like last season, only this time Ross isn't there to help fish him out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Above ground, Ross finds out about Malfoy's latest attempt at ruining him. He must repay the loan in full or risk debtor's prison. Before he and Demelza can properly freak out, news that Francis is missing reaches them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They rush to the mine and find Francis' hat and jacket. Ross rushes down there and calls out for him. Francis hears Ross' voice and remembers a time when they were boys and Ross saved him from drowning in the sea. Francis hallucinates that Ross is there again to save him. He reaches out to grab his hand. But no one is there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross soon finds Francis, but it's too late. \"Why the hell didn't you learn to swim?!\" Valid question, but cut the guy some slack; he's dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to the funeral. Ross holds a sobbing Pinky Ring, while Demelza watches and thinks, \u003cem>FML, now they're definitely going to have sex.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> H20.\u003c/strong> Yes, we need it to survive and all, but it killed Francis. Very uncool move.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Horace the Pug.\u003c/strong> I hope he got his marzipan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Homegirl needs some sage in her life. Someone definitely has cursed her. Her dad abused her for years, her baby died, her husband gets less hot and meaner every day, and she almost had to give birth in a boat! Can she catch a break already? Or at least get a 15-minute deep tissue massage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Tarot Card Agatha\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>. Pretending to be hard of hearing so you get all \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tea\">the tea\u003c/a>. Genius!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Francis. \u003c/strong>I feel bad for making fun of him so much and calling him Backstabber Cousin for weeks. He deserved a fair amount of my jokes, but he didn't deserve to drown in a puddle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "A couple makes out next to a horse's butt, someone receives a sexy sponge bath, and something really bad happens.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">Last time on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out with his thumbs, Demelza almost gave birth in a boat, and an assortment of boring mining things happened. Will Ross call up his buddy Suge Knight and have Malfoy killed once and for all? Will Demelza finally surprise drop the album she's been working on? Will a witch transform Horace the Pug into a really hot dude that I can marry? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not an afternoon in Cornwall if a poor person isn't being arrested. This time, it's a dude named Ted. Someone within his inner circle betrayed him. It could literally be anyone because 99% of the denizens of this county are the worst. (\u003cem>Infuriating historical side note:\u003c/em> The prick who finked on Anne Frank and co. was never discovered or persecuted. Karma is a myth.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza and Ross' brand new son is already walking, so some time has passed between episodes. Enough time for Ross to have gotten over his man baby antics? Ha! Nope! He's still doing his \u003cem>You can't tell me what to do! You're not my mom!\u003c/em> bit with Demelza. This time, they're arguing over whether it's a good idea for Ross to attend Ted's trial, considering that he's part of the same illegal trading #squad. Ross basically plugs his ears and says\u003cem> La la la, I can't hear you!\u003c/em> \u003cem>I'm going and that's that! I do what I want!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie is back after a year in London. The only reason I care is that she brought Horace the Pug with her. He seems to be in good spirits! And he's craving some marzipan. Aw, never change, dream pup!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-43355\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-800x446.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-again\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-800x446.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-768x428.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-1020x569.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-1180x658.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-960x535.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-375x209.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again-520x290.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-again.jpg 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and, in case you care, Blondie's uncle is annoyed at Parliament Wannabe for not being able to seal the deal in getting Blondie to agree to marriage. What don't these men understand? A human husband is completely unnecessary when the canine variety is way cuter and far more loyal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Tarot Card Agatha has a chronic cough. Nooo! Don't you dare leave me alone with these people, you wonderful broad. If the Dowager Countess can defy science and survive long enough to be in every \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> episode, so can you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ted's trial because the town gallows aren't going to fill themselves. The judge wants to sentence Ted to death because why not? But -- plot twist -- Backstabber Cousin is randomly a magistrate and urges the judge to have some chill. The judge is convinced (probably due in part to the cute little wig Backstabber Cousin is wearing) and only sentences Ted to three months of hard labor, which is basically summer camp to these people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the center of town, Doc runs into a Horace-less Blondie. She's surprised all the voodoo dolls she's made in his likeness haven't had any effect on him. Someone please find a working time machine and send this girl a copy of \u003cem>He's Just Not That Into You. \u003c/em>She needs it so desperately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard about Tarot Card Agatha's ailment, Verity decides to come stay for a while. Tarot Card Agatha and I are both super stoked to have her back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-43357\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-800x448.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-22 at 10.42.42 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-800x448.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-768x430.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-1020x571.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-1180x660.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-960x537.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-240x134.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM-520x291.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-22-at-10.42.42-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy's uncle is snorting drugs. He's also plotting a new evil scheme. The sky is blue. (Or overcast, I guess, since this is Cornwall.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Blondie's uncle is throwing a rave to announce Blondie's engagement. Before everyone adorns themselves in glow-in-the-dark accessories and engages in whatever the 1785 version of twerking is, dinner is served. For some reason, all the couples are split up. Demelza has to deal with being bookended by Blondie's slobbering uncle and Ross' slobbering bestie from the war (who apparently doesn't own any regular clothes because he's always wearing the same uniform).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Ross is seated next to his ex, Pinky Ring. They don't waste any time bringing up how they both wish they could have sex with each other. All of a sudden, Pinky Ring is really into polyamory: \"Can not a woman love two men? Can not a man love two women?\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/yRWnIYaj6uk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/yRWnIYaj6uk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>After dinner, Blondie trolls Parliament Wannabe so hard that he runs away from the party. No one is bothered in the least that the engagement party is missing an engagement. Ross, Demelza, Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring all engage in a do-si-do type of dance, which involves wife swapping. Pinky Ring's poly fantasies are one step closer to coming true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, a fight breaks out in the mine. The workers are accusing some dude named Nick of being the betrayer. Ross gets involved because that's what he loves most in the world. Apparently, Nick has a history of being a terrible human being. Remember Jim from season 1, who got thrown in jail for poaching and died of typhus before he could meet his own baby? Yeah, that was this guy's fault. And remember when Ross was on trial and was almost sentenced to death? This guy took money from Malfoy to testify against him. So, um, why did this fight take this long to happen? KILL HIM!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross just might because Nick calls him a poser and says that having sex with a \"scullery maid\" doesn't equate to knowing the first thing about the poor man's struggle. Ross promptly head butts him and then punches him in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/bHbqoou.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43554\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/bHbqoou.gif\" alt=\"bHbqoou\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is practicing his best \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> moves in heels again. His uncle interrupts by unveiling his latest scheme: he managed to buy a promissory note that says Ross owes £1,000. They will now use this to ruin our curly-haired hero. Here we go again... This town needs a movie theater or a bowling alley or something. Idle hands and what not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy runs over to Pinky Ring's house with yet another proposition: he won't do anything evil with the promissory note, if she becomes \"friends\" with him. That's code for third base, if not a homer. She says she'll think about it, especially now that she's poly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Malfoy runs into Tarot Card Agatha, who doesn't waste any time talking smack about how she's disliked him and his terrible clothes since he was a boy. Go in, Agatha, go in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Believing she's deaf, Malfoy says truly evil things right to her face: \"There should be a law to kill off old crones. If you were the last of the Poldarks, I'd do it myself. I hope when I next call you'll be six feet below.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>WOW. You can try to kill off Ross all you want, but going after my girl, Agatha? NOPE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-43530 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/trying-to-piss-me-off-mission-dance-moms.gif\" alt=\"trying to piss me off mission dance moms\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, his bestie from the war drops in on Demelza. He basically says, \u003cem>Ross headbutted this dude, which makes it plainly obvious he's tied up in this illegal trading stuff. Make him stop or I will have to hang him. Cool? Cool. By the way, this tea is amazing. Bengal spice?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Doc runs into Blondie again. OMG, JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY. He tries walking right past her, but she stops him in his tracks by apologizing for hoping poor people die and all that jazz. He promptly forgets that she has no soul and confesses his love for her because she's pretty. Or maybe it's because shacking up with her means playing with Horace the Pug any time he wants. The second reason is totally valid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Demelza's, Ross blames her for the War BFF's visit. Surely it's her flirting that keeps him coming around and not all of his illegal troublemaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/why-are-boys-such-jerks-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-43534\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/why-are-boys-such-jerks-gif.gif\" alt=\"why are boys such jerks gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin finds out about Malfoy's visit and heads off to make amends or confront him or something. No one is paying attention to Tarot Card Agatha, who says: \"Wished me dead, he did. Called me old crone. BIG mistake!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/xtina-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-43531 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/xtina-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"xtina excited gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/stevie-family-guy-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-43533 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/stevie-family-guy-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"stevie family guy excited gif\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/sailor-moon-excited-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-43532 aligncenter\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/sailor-moon-excited-gif.gif\" alt=\"sailor moon excited gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"391\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin drops in on Malfoy and uses a lot of words, including the term \"noxiousness,\" to get a simple message across: \u003cem>We are never ever ever getting back together. I hope you die. Later!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, things are VERY WEIRD. Despite the fact that he just accused Demelza of being a flirty floozy, she's giving him a sponge bath. Ross keeps bobbing up and down and making I'm-getting-an-underwater-hand-job faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43535\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 10.53.13 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1020x567.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.53.13-PM.png 1659w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43536\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 10.51.37 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-160x88.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-768x423.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-1020x562.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-1180x650.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-960x529.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-240x132.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-375x207.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM-520x286.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-10.51.37-PM.png 1674w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good for him, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's not the only one getting it on. In a forest, Doc meets up with Blondie. He confesses to being socially awkward and she's like, \u003cem>OMG, me too!\u003c/em> Then they make out next to a horse's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-43537\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-800x444.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-23 at 11.06.30 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-800x444.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1020x566.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1180x655.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-960x533.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-240x133.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-375x208.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM-520x289.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-23-at-11.06.30-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Early the next morning, Backstabber Cousin tenderly caresses a sleeping Pinky Ring. Their son wakes up and Backstabber Cousin says, \"I'll be home in time to read you a story.\" Hmm. That sure seems like when a character in a horror movie says they'll be right back and then they get butchered. Is he really about to get killed off?! Oh, boy, now I feel bad about all the jokes I've made at his expense.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin, who I will now call by his real name Francis, heads to the mine and thinks he's found copper! So he hurries over to Ross' to tell him the good news and at long last get his cousin's approval. Ross isn't home though, but Demelza is. Francis delivers a touching speech about how she shouldn't be so hard on herself and how she's just as good as Pinky Ring and Ross is lucky to have found her. Okay, yeah, he's definitely going to die today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's, Doc has diagnosed Tarot Card Agatha's ailment. Turns out she was just faking to get Verity to come back. So many tricks up her octogenarian sleeve! When confronted, Agatha is like, \u003cem>Okay, you got me! I really like slumber parties and will do or say whatever I need to do or say to arrange one! Sue me! Oh, and P.S. my tarot cards say something really F-ed up is about to happen.\u003c/em> No one believes her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down in the mine, Francis finds evidence of copper. He traces it on the wall and follows it deeper and deeper into the mine until he falls into a random puddle just like last season, only this time Ross isn't there to help fish him out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Above ground, Ross finds out about Malfoy's latest attempt at ruining him. He must repay the loan in full or risk debtor's prison. Before he and Demelza can properly freak out, news that Francis is missing reaches them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They rush to the mine and find Francis' hat and jacket. Ross rushes down there and calls out for him. Francis hears Ross' voice and remembers a time when they were boys and Ross saved him from drowning in the sea. Francis hallucinates that Ross is there again to save him. He reaches out to grab his hand. But no one is there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross soon finds Francis, but it's too late. \"Why the hell didn't you learn to swim?!\" Valid question, but cut the guy some slack; he's dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to the funeral. Ross holds a sobbing Pinky Ring, while Demelza watches and thinks, \u003cem>FML, now they're definitely going to have sex.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> H20.\u003c/strong> Yes, we need it to survive and all, but it killed Francis. Very uncool move.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Horace the Pug.\u003c/strong> I hope he got his marzipan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Homegirl needs some sage in her life. Someone definitely has cursed her. Her dad abused her for years, her baby died, her husband gets less hot and meaner every day, and she almost had to give birth in a boat! Can she catch a break already? Or at least get a 15-minute deep tissue massage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Tarot Card Agatha\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>. Pretending to be hard of hearing so you get all \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tea\">the tea\u003c/a>. Genius!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Francis. \u003c/strong>I feel bad for making fun of him so much and calling him Backstabber Cousin for weeks. He deserved a fair amount of my jokes, but he didn't deserve to drown in a puddle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">Last time on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Malfoy discovered his love for boxing in heels, Tarot Card Agatha couldn't find her booze at a party, and Ross revealed himself to be just as much of a prick as everyone else in Cornwall by treating his pregnant wife like crap for no reason. Will Demelza dump Ross to become a pop star in London? Will Horace the Pug be the ring bearer at Doc and Blondie's inevitable wedding? Will everyone on this show stop talking about mining all the time 'cause it's boring and no one cares? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We start things off at a very Instagram-able cliff edge (where else?). Some men are being taken to prison for trading booze illegally. Never one to pass up an opportunity to loudly express his social opinions, Ross pops up out of nowhere to yell, \u003cem>Power to the people! Down with the Man! Bernie 2016! \u003c/em>Demelza advises him to give it a rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Demelza takes a small boat out to sea for an afternoon of fishing. When your life sucks this much and your husband's hotness is swiftly being cancelled out by his ugly attitude, picking up a new hobby is the only thing to do. Meanwhile, underground somewhere, Ross and his workers all realize for the umpteenth time that they suck at mining.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is still training in heels for his imminent brawl with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42219\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-800x447.png\" alt=\"poldark fight heels george\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-800x447.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I'm glad that he is because that means I can re-share my Photoshop imagining of his drag persona, Hisstina Snakespeare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-39601\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"hisstina-snakespeare\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-768x511.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different mansion, Blondie is throwing a tantrum about how Doc hasn't called since he took that fish bone out of her throat three months ago. Three whole months! You don't need to be a doctor to diagnose this case of He's Just Not That Into You as lethal. Blondie doesn't get it though and writes a letter ordering him to come hang out with her. She ends with a passive-aggressive \"Unless, of course, you have more important matters to attend...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does. Miners, fishermen and basically anyone without a trust fund is coming down with a weird disease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back to chez Ross, Demelza is carrying her fish bounty, when she runs into Pinky Ring, the patron saint of spoiled walks. Pinky Ring goes from zero to insufferable in two seconds flat: \u003cem>You probably shouldn't be fishing because \u003cstrong>a.\u003c/strong> the strong current, \u003cstrong>b.\u003c/strong> your husband didn't give you permission, \u003cstrong>c.\u003c/strong> you're pregnant, which means you can't do anything meaningful for nine months, and \u003cstrong>d.\u003c/strong> you're a woman, which means you should stick to drinking too much tea and staring longingly out of windows. \u003c/em>Demelza thinks back on the conversation she overheard between Pinky Ring and Ross and counters all of Pinky Ring's points with a look that roughly translates to: \u003cem>\u003cstrong>A.\u003c/strong> I, \u003cstrong>b.\u003c/strong> will, \u003cstrong>c.\u003c/strong> cut, \u003cstrong>d.\u003c/strong> you.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross runs into Malfoy. Despite all his training in heels, Hisstina is like, \u003cem>Eeeek! Get me outta here!!\u003c/em> Ross shares his intentions of giving Malfoy a killer wedgie sometime in the near future. Malfoy runs home and checks to make sure his pistol is where he left it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross catches Demelza preparing all the fish she caught. He is thrilled that Demelza is so resourceful and independent. He thanks her for putting food on their table (something he hasn't been able to do for some time), apologizes for everything, and kisses her like he means it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, none of that happens. He yells at her instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You went out in the boat?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, I whistled and they came dancing at me out the waves.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have you no sense?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, and an extra mouth to feed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One good thing about dating a jerk: you get really good at delivering well-crafted comebacks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is playing around with a metal detector, just in case you forgot what a nerd he is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Demelza is in town hanging out with Verity (welcome back, girlfriend!). Verity is overall happy with her new life (she gets to travel to Lisbon whenever she wants!), but she's bummed that her husband's two grown children and her own brother don't want anything to do with her. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear: Her brother materializes and promptly shuns her. Oh, Verity, you're better off! Yacht parties off the coast of Portugal > anything involving being a stepmom or being related to your metal-detecting brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another round of pushy letters from Blondie, Doc finally is like, \u003cem>Fiiiine, I'll come over.\u003c/em> Blondie doesn't waste any time letting him know how annoyed she is that he cares more about ailing poor people than her, a rich lady with no problems. She then shows him how wide she can open her mouth so he can examine her three-month-old fish bone injury and also get a few ideas in his head, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she's completely fine. (You don't say!) They get to talking about all the poor people suffering from scurvy. Doc wishes it was easier for these people to access the kind of nutrients they need. Blondie wishes they would just die. No, really, she does:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why do they not spend less on gin and more on oranges? Will you do any good by attempting to save these people? They'll only multiply. And then there will be more mouths to feed. Of course, it's sad to see them die, but at least it keeps the numbers in check.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc says, \u003cem>You are the absolute worst and I hope you get scurvy someday\u003c/em>, in the most polite British way possible. He also makes all of these faces:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/raw-9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42245\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/raw-9.gif\" alt=\"disgusted gif\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Horace the Pug is there for all of it and remains more adorable than all human children that have ever been born:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42246\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-800x444.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-800x444.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-400x222.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-768x426.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-1180x654.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a mine shareholders meeting, Malfoy's Slytherin Crony sabotages Ross (again) and announces that he's bought out one of the other shareholders (again). Zzzzzz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy spots Pinky Ring galloping past from his window and chases her down. \u003cem>Hang out with meeee! Why doesn't anyone want to hang out with meeee?! \u003c/em>She takes pity on him and agrees to have some tea (British people must be very hydrated). He makes her regret her kindness by basically telling her, \u003cem>Be my whore or I will destroy your husband and your beloved ex.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, some neighbor we've never met stops by with a proposition. If Ross will let him unload his illegal goods at his beach, the neighbor will pay him handsomely. Demelza knows this will lead to another trial and maybe an execution this time. Since women of the 1700s aren't allowed to disagree with their husbands in front of company, she must resort to convincing him that this is a terrible idea through glaring:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42248\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-800x448.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-16 at 7.07.16 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-800x448.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-400x224.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-768x430.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-1440x806.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-1180x660.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-960x537.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-19.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42247\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-19.gif\" alt=\"giphy (19)\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't work. Coming soon to Netflix:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"orange-is-the-new-poldark\" width=\"386\" height=\"477\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she just can't take a hint, Blondie heads on over to Doc's house. At that very moment, he's leaving with a basket of apples for the people with scurvy. Will she redeem herself with an empathetic comment? Nah. \"Do your patients enjoy worms and mold?\" Money can't buy you flirting skills, that's for sure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's, her sea captain hubby has a surprise. \u003cem>Guess what, Verity? My children, who loathe your very existence, are coming over for a slumber party! \u003c/em>Verity is YAY on the outside, VORTEX OF PUKE AND DREAD on the inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-20.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42257\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-20.gif\" alt=\"giphy (20)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross is kicking it with some of his homeboys. All the women are isolated to the kitchen because patriarchy. The Boys Club is considering a plan that involves letting Malfoy have Ross' mine and opening a brand new one 'cause they've proven themselves to be so good at mining.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross comes into the kitchen, Demelza asks what they're planning. Ross is like, \u003cem>No need to worry your little female brain. I'll tell you some other time, if I feel like it. Oh, and by the way, I'm going down to help transport all those illegal goods tonight.\u003c/em> Let this be a lesson to us all: Don't marry a dude you barely know just because he's hot. Do a background check and also find out if he's a feminist first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and the smugglers almost get caught, but don't. He returns home, feeling himself for a crime well done. Demelza GOES ALL THE WAY OFF:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42258\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-mad-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-1440x809.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark.jpg 1673w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>TL;DR version:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's cool for you to do illegal things that jeopardize our family, but when I go fishing so we'll have something to eat, that's a problem? You don't have to consider my opinion ever, but I always have to do as I'm told? GO F YOURSELF!!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42259\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\" alt=\"preach\" width=\"310\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Doc receives a delivery of oranges. So Blondie isn't completely evil after all! Before we can get used to that idea, she says more cringe-worthy stuff when Doc stops by to thank her: \"You don't imagine I care about the fate of a few fish wives, do you? Now you're under obligation to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/oprah-smh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/oprah-smh-gif.gif\" alt=\"oprah smh gif\" width=\"325\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another mine shareholders meeting (zzzzz), Malfoy has decided to take Slytherin Crony's place so he can hasten the inevitable fist fight with Ross. Sometimes the anticipation of getting your jaw broken can be worse than the jaw breaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it won't be today. Ross storms out and gallops very quickly to his accountant's office. He plans to sell half of his shares in the mine and use the money to open a new mine with his cousin. Backstabber Cousin is down, but wants to be totally honest about how he leaked all kinds of info to Malfoy last season, which led to great ruin for Ross. But Ross stops him: \u003cem>It's in the past! I'm sure it's nothing serious! Whatever! \u003c/em>Ignorance is bliss, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the deal is finalized, Ross heads to the pub to celebrate. Obviously, Malfoy is there. He immediately gloats about his takeover of Ross' mine and also reveals all the details of how Backstabber Cousin helped ruin Ross. Fight! Fight! Fight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they do! Ross seems to be the one to bet on, but all those boxing lessons have turned Malfoy into a killing machine! Don't believe me? Witness his attempt at gouging Ross' eyes out with his thumbs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42275\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-16 at 9.41.11 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-768x428.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-960x535.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM.png 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So who won? Let's analyze all the assaulting, shall we?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy's landed hits:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A cane wack to Ross' head.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A knee to Ross' family jewels.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The aforementioned eye gouge.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A smack to Ross' face.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' landed hits:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A dramatic shove.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A wall slam.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An elbow to Malfoy's face.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Two gut punches.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Two face punches.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A fight-ending shove into a table.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Ross is victorious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, the sea captain's daughter arrives early. Verity is a nervous wreck. And she should be because this girl is not here to make nice. Stepdaughter basically says, \u003cem>You're so much uglier than my mom. YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM AND NEVER WILL BE!!! \u003c/em>It's basically the first part of Julia Roberts'\u003cem> Stepmom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a dock, Ross gets medical treatment from Doc and chit chats with Verity's husband. \u003cem>And then he tried to gouge my eyes out with his thumbs! \u003c/em>Backstabber Cousin runs over to be part of the cool crowd and immediately freaks out upon seeing his sister's husband a.k.a. the dude that shot him in the neck that one time. Before Backstabber Cousin can run away like he usually does, Ross gives him a loaded look that says, \u003cem>I know what you did. If I can forgive you for that evil stuff, you can forgive this dude for maybe killing his first wife, almost killing you in a duel, and taking your sister's virginity. \u003c/em>Backstabber Cousin thinks about it and then decides, \u003cem>Ok.\u003c/em>\u003cem> Cool.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out on the open sea, Demelza is fishing again. Might seem boring to some, but what if I told you she was fishing WHILE IN LABOR? Not sure if the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writer meant for this to be hilarious or not, but, after a painful contraction, Demelza says, \"Ooo, time to go! Time to go.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Verity's, the sea captain comes home and Verity hysterically tells him, \u003cem>Nu uh, no way, ma'am, I am not meeting any more of your children. Your evil daughter despises me! \u003c/em>Which turns out to be an awkward thing to say, seeing as his son is right in the hallway, but it's all good 'cause said son is chill and just wants some rum. Booze, bringing families together since 1784.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross returns home, but Demelza isn't there. He soon finds out she went fishing without permission again and he's red-hot mad. He finds her about to reach shore and immediately starts yelling at her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You are the most stubborn, pig-headed...!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, I am?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Where would you be if I hadn't come along?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Where would \u003cem>you\u003c/em> be if I hadn't come along? Drinking and brawling and dodging the noose. You're hateful!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You're infuriating!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She then promptly gives birth to a son. Ross' anger-management problems evaporate because OMG a male heir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/lc-eyeroll-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42283\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/lc-eyeroll-gif.gif\" alt=\"lc eyeroll gif\" width=\"375\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blondie passes by Doc's place of work to announce that she's moving back to London: \"I must return to civilization. One can only take so many barbarians.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Okay-girl-bye-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42284\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Okay-girl-bye-GIF.gif\" alt=\"Okay-girl-bye-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Demelza, Ross, Pinky Ring, Backstabber Cousin, Verity, and the Sea Captain all drink to celebrate the new mine, like one big, happy family. How long before they start selling each other's secrets and shooting each other in the neck again? I give it three episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blondie.\u003c/strong> It wouldn't have been the worst thing if that fish bone had severed her vocal cords. Also, how much do you wanna bet that she's an ancestor of Ann Coulter?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Whoever Convinced Blondie to Move Back to London:\u003c/strong> Good job! I love you! Now convince her to leave Horace behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>He steals every scene he's in. This show could just be 58 minutes of him doing various pug things and I would have zero complaints.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>. Glad she's back. Wish Xanax had been invented in her day; she could certainly use some.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>She took multi-tasking to a whole new level with that whole fishing and giving birth at the same time thing. Kudos!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Someone tries to gouge someone else's eyes out with their thumbs. What else do you need to know?",
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"description": "Someone tries to gouge someone else's eyes out with their thumbs. What else do you need to know?",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent",
"datePublished": "2016-10-17T00:13:46-07:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">Last time on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Malfoy discovered his love for boxing in heels, Tarot Card Agatha couldn't find her booze at a party, and Ross revealed himself to be just as much of a prick as everyone else in Cornwall by treating his pregnant wife like crap for no reason. Will Demelza dump Ross to become a pop star in London? Will Horace the Pug be the ring bearer at Doc and Blondie's inevitable wedding? Will everyone on this show stop talking about mining all the time 'cause it's boring and no one cares? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We start things off at a very Instagram-able cliff edge (where else?). Some men are being taken to prison for trading booze illegally. Never one to pass up an opportunity to loudly express his social opinions, Ross pops up out of nowhere to yell, \u003cem>Power to the people! Down with the Man! Bernie 2016! \u003c/em>Demelza advises him to give it a rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Demelza takes a small boat out to sea for an afternoon of fishing. When your life sucks this much and your husband's hotness is swiftly being cancelled out by his ugly attitude, picking up a new hobby is the only thing to do. Meanwhile, underground somewhere, Ross and his workers all realize for the umpteenth time that they suck at mining.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is still training in heels for his imminent brawl with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42219\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-800x447.png\" alt=\"poldark fight heels george\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-800x447.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-3.20.56-PM.png 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I'm glad that he is because that means I can re-share my Photoshop imagining of his drag persona, Hisstina Snakespeare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-39601\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"hisstina-snakespeare\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare-768x511.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/hisstina-snakespeare.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different mansion, Blondie is throwing a tantrum about how Doc hasn't called since he took that fish bone out of her throat three months ago. Three whole months! You don't need to be a doctor to diagnose this case of He's Just Not That Into You as lethal. Blondie doesn't get it though and writes a letter ordering him to come hang out with her. She ends with a passive-aggressive \"Unless, of course, you have more important matters to attend...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does. Miners, fishermen and basically anyone without a trust fund is coming down with a weird disease.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back to chez Ross, Demelza is carrying her fish bounty, when she runs into Pinky Ring, the patron saint of spoiled walks. Pinky Ring goes from zero to insufferable in two seconds flat: \u003cem>You probably shouldn't be fishing because \u003cstrong>a.\u003c/strong> the strong current, \u003cstrong>b.\u003c/strong> your husband didn't give you permission, \u003cstrong>c.\u003c/strong> you're pregnant, which means you can't do anything meaningful for nine months, and \u003cstrong>d.\u003c/strong> you're a woman, which means you should stick to drinking too much tea and staring longingly out of windows. \u003c/em>Demelza thinks back on the conversation she overheard between Pinky Ring and Ross and counters all of Pinky Ring's points with a look that roughly translates to: \u003cem>\u003cstrong>A.\u003c/strong> I, \u003cstrong>b.\u003c/strong> will, \u003cstrong>c.\u003c/strong> cut, \u003cstrong>d.\u003c/strong> you.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross runs into Malfoy. Despite all his training in heels, Hisstina is like, \u003cem>Eeeek! Get me outta here!!\u003c/em> Ross shares his intentions of giving Malfoy a killer wedgie sometime in the near future. Malfoy runs home and checks to make sure his pistol is where he left it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Ross catches Demelza preparing all the fish she caught. He is thrilled that Demelza is so resourceful and independent. He thanks her for putting food on their table (something he hasn't been able to do for some time), apologizes for everything, and kisses her like he means it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, none of that happens. He yells at her instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You went out in the boat?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, I whistled and they came dancing at me out the waves.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have you no sense?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, and an extra mouth to feed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One good thing about dating a jerk: you get really good at delivering well-crafted comebacks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is playing around with a metal detector, just in case you forgot what a nerd he is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Demelza is in town hanging out with Verity (welcome back, girlfriend!). Verity is overall happy with her new life (she gets to travel to Lisbon whenever she wants!), but she's bummed that her husband's two grown children and her own brother don't want anything to do with her. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear: Her brother materializes and promptly shuns her. Oh, Verity, you're better off! Yacht parties off the coast of Portugal > anything involving being a stepmom or being related to your metal-detecting brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another round of pushy letters from Blondie, Doc finally is like, \u003cem>Fiiiine, I'll come over.\u003c/em> Blondie doesn't waste any time letting him know how annoyed she is that he cares more about ailing poor people than her, a rich lady with no problems. She then shows him how wide she can open her mouth so he can examine her three-month-old fish bone injury and also get a few ideas in his head, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she's completely fine. (You don't say!) They get to talking about all the poor people suffering from scurvy. Doc wishes it was easier for these people to access the kind of nutrients they need. Blondie wishes they would just die. No, really, she does:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why do they not spend less on gin and more on oranges? Will you do any good by attempting to save these people? They'll only multiply. And then there will be more mouths to feed. Of course, it's sad to see them die, but at least it keeps the numbers in check.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc says, \u003cem>You are the absolute worst and I hope you get scurvy someday\u003c/em>, in the most polite British way possible. He also makes all of these faces:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/raw-9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42245\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/raw-9.gif\" alt=\"disgusted gif\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Horace the Pug is there for all of it and remains more adorable than all human children that have ever been born:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42246\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-800x444.jpg\" alt=\"horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-800x444.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-400x222.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-768x426.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-1180x654.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-heart-emoji.jpg 1226w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a mine shareholders meeting, Malfoy's Slytherin Crony sabotages Ross (again) and announces that he's bought out one of the other shareholders (again). Zzzzzz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy spots Pinky Ring galloping past from his window and chases her down. \u003cem>Hang out with meeee! Why doesn't anyone want to hang out with meeee?! \u003c/em>She takes pity on him and agrees to have some tea (British people must be very hydrated). He makes her regret her kindness by basically telling her, \u003cem>Be my whore or I will destroy your husband and your beloved ex.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, some neighbor we've never met stops by with a proposition. If Ross will let him unload his illegal goods at his beach, the neighbor will pay him handsomely. Demelza knows this will lead to another trial and maybe an execution this time. Since women of the 1700s aren't allowed to disagree with their husbands in front of company, she must resort to convincing him that this is a terrible idea through glaring:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42248\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-800x448.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-16 at 7.07.16 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-800x448.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-400x224.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-768x430.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-1440x806.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-1180x660.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM-960x537.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-7.07.16-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-19.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42247\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-19.gif\" alt=\"giphy (19)\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't work. Coming soon to Netflix:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"orange-is-the-new-poldark\" width=\"386\" height=\"477\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she just can't take a hint, Blondie heads on over to Doc's house. At that very moment, he's leaving with a basket of apples for the people with scurvy. Will she redeem herself with an empathetic comment? Nah. \"Do your patients enjoy worms and mold?\" Money can't buy you flirting skills, that's for sure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's, her sea captain hubby has a surprise. \u003cem>Guess what, Verity? My children, who loathe your very existence, are coming over for a slumber party! \u003c/em>Verity is YAY on the outside, VORTEX OF PUKE AND DREAD on the inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-20.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42257\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/giphy-20.gif\" alt=\"giphy (20)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross is kicking it with some of his homeboys. All the women are isolated to the kitchen because patriarchy. The Boys Club is considering a plan that involves letting Malfoy have Ross' mine and opening a brand new one 'cause they've proven themselves to be so good at mining.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross comes into the kitchen, Demelza asks what they're planning. Ross is like, \u003cem>No need to worry your little female brain. I'll tell you some other time, if I feel like it. Oh, and by the way, I'm going down to help transport all those illegal goods tonight.\u003c/em> Let this be a lesson to us all: Don't marry a dude you barely know just because he's hot. Do a background check and also find out if he's a feminist first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and the smugglers almost get caught, but don't. He returns home, feeling himself for a crime well done. Demelza GOES ALL THE WAY OFF:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42258\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-mad-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-1440x809.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/demelza-mad-poldark.jpg 1673w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>TL;DR version:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's cool for you to do illegal things that jeopardize our family, but when I go fishing so we'll have something to eat, that's a problem? You don't have to consider my opinion ever, but I always have to do as I'm told? GO F YOURSELF!!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42259\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/preach.gif\" alt=\"preach\" width=\"310\" height=\"183\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Doc receives a delivery of oranges. So Blondie isn't completely evil after all! Before we can get used to that idea, she says more cringe-worthy stuff when Doc stops by to thank her: \"You don't imagine I care about the fate of a few fish wives, do you? Now you're under obligation to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/oprah-smh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/oprah-smh-gif.gif\" alt=\"oprah smh gif\" width=\"325\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another mine shareholders meeting (zzzzz), Malfoy has decided to take Slytherin Crony's place so he can hasten the inevitable fist fight with Ross. Sometimes the anticipation of getting your jaw broken can be worse than the jaw breaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it won't be today. Ross storms out and gallops very quickly to his accountant's office. He plans to sell half of his shares in the mine and use the money to open a new mine with his cousin. Backstabber Cousin is down, but wants to be totally honest about how he leaked all kinds of info to Malfoy last season, which led to great ruin for Ross. But Ross stops him: \u003cem>It's in the past! I'm sure it's nothing serious! Whatever! \u003c/em>Ignorance is bliss, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the deal is finalized, Ross heads to the pub to celebrate. Obviously, Malfoy is there. He immediately gloats about his takeover of Ross' mine and also reveals all the details of how Backstabber Cousin helped ruin Ross. Fight! Fight! Fight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they do! Ross seems to be the one to bet on, but all those boxing lessons have turned Malfoy into a killing machine! Don't believe me? Witness his attempt at gouging Ross' eyes out with his thumbs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-42275\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-10-16 at 9.41.11 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-768x428.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM-960x535.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-16-at-9.41.11-PM.png 1232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So who won? Let's analyze all the assaulting, shall we?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy's landed hits:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A cane wack to Ross' head.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A knee to Ross' family jewels.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The aforementioned eye gouge.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A smack to Ross' face.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' landed hits:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A dramatic shove.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A wall slam.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An elbow to Malfoy's face.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Two gut punches.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Two face punches.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A fight-ending shove into a table.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Ross is victorious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, the sea captain's daughter arrives early. Verity is a nervous wreck. And she should be because this girl is not here to make nice. Stepdaughter basically says, \u003cem>You're so much uglier than my mom. YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM AND NEVER WILL BE!!! \u003c/em>It's basically the first part of Julia Roberts'\u003cem> Stepmom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a dock, Ross gets medical treatment from Doc and chit chats with Verity's husband. \u003cem>And then he tried to gouge my eyes out with his thumbs! \u003c/em>Backstabber Cousin runs over to be part of the cool crowd and immediately freaks out upon seeing his sister's husband a.k.a. the dude that shot him in the neck that one time. Before Backstabber Cousin can run away like he usually does, Ross gives him a loaded look that says, \u003cem>I know what you did. If I can forgive you for that evil stuff, you can forgive this dude for maybe killing his first wife, almost killing you in a duel, and taking your sister's virginity. \u003c/em>Backstabber Cousin thinks about it and then decides, \u003cem>Ok.\u003c/em>\u003cem> Cool.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out on the open sea, Demelza is fishing again. Might seem boring to some, but what if I told you she was fishing WHILE IN LABOR? Not sure if the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writer meant for this to be hilarious or not, but, after a painful contraction, Demelza says, \"Ooo, time to go! Time to go.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Verity's, the sea captain comes home and Verity hysterically tells him, \u003cem>Nu uh, no way, ma'am, I am not meeting any more of your children. Your evil daughter despises me! \u003c/em>Which turns out to be an awkward thing to say, seeing as his son is right in the hallway, but it's all good 'cause said son is chill and just wants some rum. Booze, bringing families together since 1784.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross returns home, but Demelza isn't there. He soon finds out she went fishing without permission again and he's red-hot mad. He finds her about to reach shore and immediately starts yelling at her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You are the most stubborn, pig-headed...!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, I am?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Where would you be if I hadn't come along?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Where would \u003cem>you\u003c/em> be if I hadn't come along? Drinking and brawling and dodging the noose. You're hateful!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"You're infuriating!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She then promptly gives birth to a son. Ross' anger-management problems evaporate because OMG a male heir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/lc-eyeroll-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42283\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/lc-eyeroll-gif.gif\" alt=\"lc eyeroll gif\" width=\"375\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blondie passes by Doc's place of work to announce that she's moving back to London: \"I must return to civilization. One can only take so many barbarians.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Okay-girl-bye-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-42284\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/Okay-girl-bye-GIF.gif\" alt=\"Okay-girl-bye-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Demelza, Ross, Pinky Ring, Backstabber Cousin, Verity, and the Sea Captain all drink to celebrate the new mine, like one big, happy family. How long before they start selling each other's secrets and shooting each other in the neck again? I give it three episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blondie.\u003c/strong> It wouldn't have been the worst thing if that fish bone had severed her vocal cords. Also, how much do you wanna bet that she's an ancestor of Ann Coulter?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Whoever Convinced Blondie to Move Back to London:\u003c/strong> Good job! I love you! Now convince her to leave Horace behind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>He steals every scene he's in. This show could just be 58 minutes of him doing various pug things and I would have zero complaints.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>. Glad she's back. Wish Xanax had been invented in her day; she could certainly use some.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Demelza. \u003c/strong>She took multi-tasking to a whole new level with that whole fishing and giving birth at the same time thing. Kudos!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'I Had To Create My Own Lane': How Taraji P. Henson Found Her Place In Hollywood",
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"content": "\u003cp>Actress Taraji P. Henson has played a lot of characters in her 20-year career, but it only took one role to make her famous: Cookie Lyon, the matriarch of an ambitious, dysfunctional family on the hit TV show \u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now Henson has a new memoir out called \u003cem>Around the Way Girl\u003c/em>. Don't know what an \"around the way girl\" is? Henson explains: \"Around the way is like saying from the neighborhood, like from the hood.\" Henson still proudly calls herself an around the way girl; she says the fame and the money haven't changed her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_41843\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 397px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-41843 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85.jpg\" alt=\"9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85\" width=\"397\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Simon & Schuster\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the book, the actress shares stories of pushing herself to the top. She describes leaving her hometown of Washington, D.C., for Hollywood with little but the intention to succeed on her own terms. \"I never went there with the expectation of failure. I never even thought about that,\" she says. \"If anything, I knew I was going to make a dent in Hollywood and no one would stop me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That included people who had a pretty narrow idea of how a Hollywood star should look. But Henson didn't care: She didn't \u003cem>want\u003c/em> to look like the typical size 00 starlet. (Yes, that's an actual size.) Around the way, she says, curves are valued. Light-skinned black actresses like Halle Berry may get nods from Hollywood now, but even they have to fight for parts — because there aren't a ton of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"God bless Halle Berry,\" Henson says. \"Even though Hollywood loves her look, she had to create her own lane. There wasn't a lane for Halle Berry — she had to create that. And I had to create my own lane.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Creating her own lane occasionally came at a cost, though. Sometimes Henson lost jobs because she wasn't what the producer had in mind. And there was a bittersweet success in 2008, the year Henson appeared in \u003cem>The Curious Case of Benjamin Button\u003c/em>. She played Queenie, a nursing home worker in 1918 New Orleans, and Brad Pitt starred as Benjamin, a man who aged in reverse. At the beginning of the movie, Queenie stumbles upon an ancient-looking foundling and takes him in. Her relationship with Benjamin was, for many, the emotional heart of the movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Henson says starring opposite Pitt was terrific, but in her book she reveals she almost didn't take the job because the salary she was offered was insultingly low — about 2 percent of what the studio paid Pitt. And unlike Pitt, she had to pay her own travel and lodging. After days of raging to herself over the inequity, Henson listened to her inner voice: \u003cem>There's something to this Queenie.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So, you know, I decided to not push,\" she says. \"I decided to swallow my pride and use it in the work, use it in the work. And that's what I did, and I think it paid off.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And how. Henson's performance got her an Oscar nomination, and that gave her the confidence to push back when she was given the script for the 2012 romantic comedy \u003cem>Think Like a Man\u003c/em>. \"Talk about pushing and fighting!\" she says. \"I was like, 'Why would you make the most successful character in this cast Caucasian?' Like, this woman is \u003cem>me\u003c/em>: highly successful and single. That is \u003cem>me\u003c/em>. ... That's all of my girlfriends! ... So thank God they listened to me. See, that's the one time I pushed. But see, at this time in my career I could, and they would listen.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they did listen: The role was recast for Henson. Today, not only is she the breakout star of TV's \u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>, but there are already Oscar whispers about her next meaty part — as a NASA mathematician in this winter's \u003cem>Hidden Figures\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27I+Had+To+Create+My+Own+Lane%27%3A+How+Taraji+P.+Henson+Found+Her+Place+In+Hollywood&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Actress Taraji P. Henson has played a lot of characters in her 20-year career, but it only took one role to make her famous: Cookie Lyon, the matriarch of an ambitious, dysfunctional family on the hit TV show \u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now Henson has a new memoir out called \u003cem>Around the Way Girl\u003c/em>. Don't know what an \"around the way girl\" is? Henson explains: \"Around the way is like saying from the neighborhood, like from the hood.\" Henson still proudly calls herself an around the way girl; she says the fame and the money haven't changed her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_41843\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 397px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-41843 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85.jpg\" alt=\"9781501125997_custom-16b2b38e7cdcc84d4f5a262fd7a217bb16ebe9d2-s400-c85\" width=\"397\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Simon & Schuster\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>In the book, the actress shares stories of pushing herself to the top. She describes leaving her hometown of Washington, D.C., for Hollywood with little but the intention to succeed on her own terms. \"I never went there with the expectation of failure. I never even thought about that,\" she says. \"If anything, I knew I was going to make a dent in Hollywood and no one would stop me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That included people who had a pretty narrow idea of how a Hollywood star should look. But Henson didn't care: She didn't \u003cem>want\u003c/em> to look like the typical size 00 starlet. (Yes, that's an actual size.) Around the way, she says, curves are valued. Light-skinned black actresses like Halle Berry may get nods from Hollywood now, but even they have to fight for parts — because there aren't a ton of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"God bless Halle Berry,\" Henson says. \"Even though Hollywood loves her look, she had to create her own lane. There wasn't a lane for Halle Berry — she had to create that. And I had to create my own lane.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Creating her own lane occasionally came at a cost, though. Sometimes Henson lost jobs because she wasn't what the producer had in mind. And there was a bittersweet success in 2008, the year Henson appeared in \u003cem>The Curious Case of Benjamin Button\u003c/em>. She played Queenie, a nursing home worker in 1918 New Orleans, and Brad Pitt starred as Benjamin, a man who aged in reverse. At the beginning of the movie, Queenie stumbles upon an ancient-looking foundling and takes him in. Her relationship with Benjamin was, for many, the emotional heart of the movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Henson says starring opposite Pitt was terrific, but in her book she reveals she almost didn't take the job because the salary she was offered was insultingly low — about 2 percent of what the studio paid Pitt. And unlike Pitt, she had to pay her own travel and lodging. After days of raging to herself over the inequity, Henson listened to her inner voice: \u003cem>There's something to this Queenie.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So, you know, I decided to not push,\" she says. \"I decided to swallow my pride and use it in the work, use it in the work. And that's what I did, and I think it paid off.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And how. Henson's performance got her an Oscar nomination, and that gave her the confidence to push back when she was given the script for the 2012 romantic comedy \u003cem>Think Like a Man\u003c/em>. \"Talk about pushing and fighting!\" she says. \"I was like, 'Why would you make the most successful character in this cast Caucasian?' Like, this woman is \u003cem>me\u003c/em>: highly successful and single. That is \u003cem>me\u003c/em>. ... That's all of my girlfriends! ... So thank God they listened to me. See, that's the one time I pushed. But see, at this time in my career I could, and they would listen.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they did listen: The role was recast for Henson. Today, not only is she the breakout star of TV's \u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>, but there are already Oscar whispers about her next meaty part — as a NASA mathematician in this winter's \u003cem>Hidden Figures\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27I+Had+To+Create+My+Own+Lane%27%3A+How+Taraji+P.+Henson+Found+Her+Place+In+Hollywood&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"tagline": "The flip side of gentrification, told through one town",
"info": "Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?",
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},
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"tagline": "Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time",
"info": "KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.",
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},
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"info": "KQED’s statewide radio news program providing daily coverage of issues, trends and public policy decisions.",
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"order": 8
},
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},
"link": "https://www.cityarts.net",
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"order": 1
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"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
"airtime": "THU 10pm, FRI 1am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
"link": "/radio/program/commonwealth-club",
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}
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"tagline": "The conversation starts here",
"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 9
},
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"id": "fresh-air",
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"hidden-brain": {
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"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
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"source": "NPR"
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"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
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"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"jerrybrown": {
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"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"order": 18
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},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
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},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
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"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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"rss": "https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
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"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
"link": "/radio/program/masters-of-scale",
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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