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"content": "\u003cp>We are here! The Penultimate Episode! Suddenly, I am feeling sad and pre-nostalgic for this season. Is this the end? Does all the talk of changing times and America and real estate mean we’re soon to part ways forever? Maybe after next season? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Only time will tell. \u003c/a>Until then, \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas looks positively not-dying. Serious and in charge and not smoking in a corner. Is this a new Team-Player Thomas? He’s handing lists off to people in a non-sneaky way. I don’t know. I’ll believe it when he's four years clean from being the Bad Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Patmore and Daisy are working on what appears to be a wedding cake! OMG. Either Rose is about to get hitched or Isobel is. Either way, tension and drama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a room somewhere, the future bride appears to be Rose, who is trying on outfits in front of the ladies. The whole team is there except for Edith obviously because she’s just no fun. The team does some exposition on such important topics as mixed-religion marriages and the status of Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes does a little exposition of her own, letting all those O’Brien fans out there know that we will not be seeing her at Rose’s nuptials (she left Cora for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife, you may remember). I guess they couldn’t pay her enough to get her back for one entertaining episode? It also seems that Rose’s parents are dead broke and that Atticus’ Rich Dad (trying to ignore the blatant stereotyping here of my people) is going to save the whole family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Robert \"Donk\" Grantham is playing Chutes and Ladders with Baby Sybbie. Look, I know in Britain it’s called “Snakes and Ladders,” but this is America and I play by American rules here. In a surprise move, Mary calls her dad Donk too and she possibly earns herself a spot in tonight’s rankings. Edith plays with a very strangely vacant-looking Marigold and talks to Tom about the machine business in Massachusetts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it appears that the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is coming back to interrogate both Mr. and Mrs. Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary is pissed that Edith is 1000x better at being a mom than her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter continues to try to ingratiate herself to the Bateses, but those Mean Girls would rather die in prison than be nice to her for one single second.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, Baxter puts the moves on Molesley (tells him she’ll go to a museum with him in London). The war memorial plot line pops up again because apparently it’s just like the most interesting thing ever and so they have to unveil it after the wedding. So the final episode is going to be about the war memorial? My pre-nostalgia is fading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager’s house, the Prince is waiting in the drawing room and Violet is going to put on her lavender day dress! Are they finally going to kiss?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Carson and Donk discuss the war memorial and I take a nap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her drawing room, the Prince is propositioning Violet: “I wish to spend my final years with you…as a friend, as a lover.” OH MY GOD! Make. Out. Now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is trying to victim blame Anna and also murder-blame her. I mean, do we know she didn’t do it? I feel like she was convinced Bates One did it so it can’t be her. Or is that a trick?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk is talking to a guy about making plans for a tombstone for Isis, the Dog Who Is Not Affiliated With Any Terrorist Organization.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowagers, nothing interesting happens with her help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna considers telling the cops that the Rapist was also her rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone leaves for London except for the babies because this isn’t Fashion Week, am I right?? Donk is sort of suspicious about Marigold, but he’s not very smart so he’s not sure why he’s suspicious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, enter a New Cast Member to help out the Downstairs Team at the wedding. He’s tall and handsome. Is Thomas going to finally have a real love interest as a prize for good behavior?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife also arrive in London with sour expressions and no personal attendants. Immediately, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife causes a scene by refusing to share a room with her husband. Ugh. So mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Rose tries to bond with Shrimpy’s Mean Wife a.k.a. her mom. It goes just okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Anna’s plot thickens as does the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member as Thomas straightens the New Cast Member’s bow tie and the New Cast Member sort of grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room in London, Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife sort of bicker, as the Crawley’s await the arrival of Atticus’ family. It seems like Shrimpy’s Mean Wife and Atticus’ Mean Dad are going to really try to sabotage this whole true love thing. Rose should have definitely tried to marry the Jazz Singer first or maybe a woman. Then this whole thing would have gone down so easily!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Hughes still doesn’t tell Carson what really happened to Anna, though she should because love’s all about honesty, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife starts off by asking her future Jewish in laws/meal ticket racist questions. Atticus’ Mean Dad retorts by telling Rose she isn’t a Chosen Person. The talk then turns to Atticus’ Bachelor Party (see Snakes and Ladders; this is America and that’s not a Stag Party). I didn’t know they had Bachelor Parties in the 1920s, but apparently it’s “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1904885,00.html\" target=\"_blank\">rooted in ancient history\u003c/a>.\" Then, a bit out of left field if you ask me, Atticus’ Mean Dad mentions how much he hates divorce and it’s like the worst thing he’s ever heard of. Shrimpy’s Mean Wife implies she’s about to get a divorce.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Violet and Isobel talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Terrible Mom/Sister Mary gets in like 15 negs on Edith in the space of two minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bedroom, Donk and Cora talk like a proper husband and wife who don’t hate each other’s guts. Yeah. Sure. Totally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife gives Carson a letter. Obviously this means something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore lovingly yells at Daisy and then submits when Donk goads her into going to the war memorial unveiling. He must have something planned; my guess is a little stone memorial of her nephew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Scotland Yard, Anna is put in a lineup of what I hope are other victims of her Rapist. I am hoping for a scene in which they all, one by one, stand up and say “I did it” and then none of them go to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it seems like Violet’s Lady’s Maid has designs on the New Cast Member who is Thomas’s! Step down, lady! Patmore and Daisy get into existentialism and then decide, like, never mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, the Crawley’s openly despise each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At \u003cem>The Hangover: Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, Atticus is wasted and a lady is putting the moves on him in an elevator, but he very kindly puts her off. Until she shows up in his room and does some weird stuff with her outfit. Fact: I said “Ooooh” when this happened because I realized that this must be what Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s letter was about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member continues to build. Hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At lunch in London, Troll Mary has picked the location of Edith and Michael’s first date for the sibling pre-marriage luncheon. That general sisterly unkindness is completely overshadowed by the motherly unkindness of pictures of Atticus with “a tart of some kind” sent by messenger. Rose breaks down at luncheon and then Tom, a genius of some kind, tells her to talk to Atticus about it! What?! Has he seen this show?? Never talk to your spouse or potential spouse about anything important ever! Tom then suggests Atticus’ Mean Dad is behind the dirty pics. Right track, Tom, wrong evil parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson debate systematic racial injustice and personal intolerance. Then Violet’s Lady’s Maid continues her play for the New Cast Member.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in a garden, Molesley walks with his harem and they discuss the transformative power of art. Daisy says, “I feel as if I’ve been down a coal hall and someone’s opened a lid and brought me into the sunlight.” I, unable to contain myself, said, “Oh, god.” So now Daisy’s an Art Major? The threesome see Rose and Atticus fighting in the park and Beyonce Baxter says: “You’re never safe 'til the ring’s on your finger.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Atticus’ house, Atticus confronts Atticus’ Mean Dad about the dirty pic scandal. The Mean Dad is like, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t think our legacy is worth throwing away for “this little shiksa.” Okay now, is it just me or does Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Yiddish sound really forced? This is the first time we’re hearing it and I’m not convinced at all. Atticus’ Mean Dad gives Atticus a lecture on Judaism right before Rose et al. arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before the dinner, everyone tries to act normal as true love sort of falls apart. Mary tries to hide how happy it makes her that true love is falling apart by talking about murdering Edith. Mary, you are a monster. Rose quickly forgives Atticus and they join together as an team of Encyclopedia Browns to find their saboteur. Shrimpy and the Olds get together to explain that the Empire is collapsing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas, the pot, calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid, the kettle, black by telling her to stop being a bully. Takes one to know one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy complains about how art has changed her life so much she has to move to London now and experience the real world. Patmore almost starts crying because, even though Daisy’s become an obnoxious brat, she’s still \u003cem>her\u003c/em> obnoxious brat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady’s Maid are missing. Where oh where have they gone and when oh when will Thomas rescue him?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s room, Shrimpy is waiting for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife because he, like us, knows that she is the villain behind the Atticus dirty pic situation. Turns out he has proof in the form of a checkbook stub! Always pay in cash when you are trying to sabotage your daughter’s happiness!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he’s selling the art that the Art Guy loved so much. Cora looks sad because that guy was honestly nice to her and a lot better of a human than Donk. Rose and the old ladies talk about happiness, love, boyz, etc. and then Carson comes in to tell Violet that her Lady’s Maid is “sick.” Mary and Branson talk about how Tom is leaving for America after Christmas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Violet’s Lady’s Maid is waaaasted. Daisy goes to make her coffee and finds Patmore sobbing. Ugh, now I am almost crying. Patmore and Daisy are the truest love in the world!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas has clearly decided to use his Powers of Sneakiness for good, to rescue the poor New Cast Member from Violet’s Drunk and Gambling Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a registry office, which is not a church, Mary is dressed up again like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>. Because her dirty pics thing didn’t ruin her daughter’s marriage, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife decides to announce that she and Shrimpy are getting divorced. The move backfires because true love cannot be stopped, even by the World’s Second Worst Mom (Mary is clearly the worst).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs up to the registry office, Shrimpy and Rose share a moment of happiness away from their tormentor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sets a trap for Violet’s Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the wedding party, Tony is holding hands with the Girl He Jilted. They come over to Mary and make her delightfully uncomfortable, enough so that she makes an awkward comment about going to their wedding. Edith and Donk have an almost meaningful conversation, until he sees Mary and remembers he doesn’t like Edith and walks off. Tony and Mary debrief about their sex vacation and Carson, who still likes Mary apparently for some unknowable reason, looks on. Rose confronts her mother and tells her she doesn’t know what love is and then moves on to the next guest. A racist gets shut down by Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Mary complains to Carson about how things change. Luckily, Carson also hates change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a basement, Thomas prepares to finally use his trickiness for good. Seriously, is this ever actually going to happen? There's been a lot of build up on this one. Thomas, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady Maid go into a literally underground club called The Velvet Violin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her room, Anna sensually dresses Mary. Sadly, they are interrupted by Anna’s arrest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Velvet Violin, Thomas wins a bunch of money to pay off the New Cast Member’s debt. Not exactly dramatic but nice, I guess. He then sells out the Lady’s Maid to a Sinister Boss with a Mustache. Thomas and the New Cast Member leave and, in the corridor heading out of the basement, Thomas refers to himself as “your uncle Thomas.” I can’t decide if that’s creepy or amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the Velvet Violin, the Lady’s Maid is forced to pay for her drinks. What a dramatic conclusion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, Anna is getting cuffed and Mary is pissed. Bates is really angry and so are the Crawleys because seriously, how many Bates are they going to have to get off of spurious murder charges??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you forgot, it’s time for the war memorial unveiling! The show must go one, apparently, even though Anna the Unblemished is in jail (question: is this God punishing her for aiding and abetting the sex vacation?). The memorial is unveiled and everyone is like war is bad but also good, kinda? As I predicted what seems like five hours ago, Donk has prepared a tiny little memorial for Patmore’s nephew so when the music swells, he can once again be a hero! Super dense Donk finally takes a long look at Edith and realizes that Marigold is her child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a path in the village, Daisy decides not to go to London after all. Bates implies to Mary that he’s going to take the fall or something for the Rapist’s murder, even though that’s not going to happen since the cops know it was a lady. Unless he’s implying that Mary killed him? She \u003cem>is\u003c/em> stone cold so that's totally possible. Isobel and Violet both seem to decide to fight for true love! Edith and Tom say nice things to each other and Carson and Hughes say nice things to each other. Donk admits that he doesn’t think he’ll hate Marigold now that he knows she’s his progeny. And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Character Ranking:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> What a great dad who picked a truly awful wife. Also, he's called Shrimpy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baxter:\u003c/strong> Besides being an angel from Heaven, Baxter is a great Molesley-seductress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Molesly:\u003c/strong> So into the arts now! Opening up worlds for people! Not being annoying about it! How wonderful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Tom:\u003c/strong> Soon Tom will go to America and it will be a tragedy because he's the only thing keeping Mary from literally murdering Edith.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Patmore:\u003c/strong> Patmore is the best character on this show and, this week, her cake was lovely, she got to cry for Daisy and her nephew got a memorial! What a mitzvah, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, wedding bells are ringing, but they're not loud enough to drown out all the anti-Semitic comments.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>We are here! The Penultimate Episode! Suddenly, I am feeling sad and pre-nostalgic for this season. Is this the end? Does all the talk of changing times and America and real estate mean we’re soon to part ways forever? Maybe after next season? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Only time will tell. \u003c/a>Until then, \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas looks positively not-dying. Serious and in charge and not smoking in a corner. Is this a new Team-Player Thomas? He’s handing lists off to people in a non-sneaky way. I don’t know. I’ll believe it when he's four years clean from being the Bad Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Patmore and Daisy are working on what appears to be a wedding cake! OMG. Either Rose is about to get hitched or Isobel is. Either way, tension and drama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a room somewhere, the future bride appears to be Rose, who is trying on outfits in front of the ladies. The whole team is there except for Edith obviously because she’s just no fun. The team does some exposition on such important topics as mixed-religion marriages and the status of Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes does a little exposition of her own, letting all those O’Brien fans out there know that we will not be seeing her at Rose’s nuptials (she left Cora for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife, you may remember). I guess they couldn’t pay her enough to get her back for one entertaining episode? It also seems that Rose’s parents are dead broke and that Atticus’ Rich Dad (trying to ignore the blatant stereotyping here of my people) is going to save the whole family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Robert \"Donk\" Grantham is playing Chutes and Ladders with Baby Sybbie. Look, I know in Britain it’s called “Snakes and Ladders,” but this is America and I play by American rules here. In a surprise move, Mary calls her dad Donk too and she possibly earns herself a spot in tonight’s rankings. Edith plays with a very strangely vacant-looking Marigold and talks to Tom about the machine business in Massachusetts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it appears that the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is coming back to interrogate both Mr. and Mrs. Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary is pissed that Edith is 1000x better at being a mom than her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter continues to try to ingratiate herself to the Bateses, but those Mean Girls would rather die in prison than be nice to her for one single second.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, Baxter puts the moves on Molesley (tells him she’ll go to a museum with him in London). The war memorial plot line pops up again because apparently it’s just like the most interesting thing ever and so they have to unveil it after the wedding. So the final episode is going to be about the war memorial? My pre-nostalgia is fading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager’s house, the Prince is waiting in the drawing room and Violet is going to put on her lavender day dress! Are they finally going to kiss?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Carson and Donk discuss the war memorial and I take a nap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her drawing room, the Prince is propositioning Violet: “I wish to spend my final years with you…as a friend, as a lover.” OH MY GOD! Make. Out. Now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is trying to victim blame Anna and also murder-blame her. I mean, do we know she didn’t do it? I feel like she was convinced Bates One did it so it can’t be her. Or is that a trick?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk is talking to a guy about making plans for a tombstone for Isis, the Dog Who Is Not Affiliated With Any Terrorist Organization.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowagers, nothing interesting happens with her help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna considers telling the cops that the Rapist was also her rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone leaves for London except for the babies because this isn’t Fashion Week, am I right?? Donk is sort of suspicious about Marigold, but he’s not very smart so he’s not sure why he’s suspicious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, enter a New Cast Member to help out the Downstairs Team at the wedding. He’s tall and handsome. Is Thomas going to finally have a real love interest as a prize for good behavior?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife also arrive in London with sour expressions and no personal attendants. Immediately, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife causes a scene by refusing to share a room with her husband. Ugh. So mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Rose tries to bond with Shrimpy’s Mean Wife a.k.a. her mom. It goes just okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Anna’s plot thickens as does the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member as Thomas straightens the New Cast Member’s bow tie and the New Cast Member sort of grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room in London, Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife sort of bicker, as the Crawley’s await the arrival of Atticus’ family. It seems like Shrimpy’s Mean Wife and Atticus’ Mean Dad are going to really try to sabotage this whole true love thing. Rose should have definitely tried to marry the Jazz Singer first or maybe a woman. Then this whole thing would have gone down so easily!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Hughes still doesn’t tell Carson what really happened to Anna, though she should because love’s all about honesty, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife starts off by asking her future Jewish in laws/meal ticket racist questions. Atticus’ Mean Dad retorts by telling Rose she isn’t a Chosen Person. The talk then turns to Atticus’ Bachelor Party (see Snakes and Ladders; this is America and that’s not a Stag Party). I didn’t know they had Bachelor Parties in the 1920s, but apparently it’s “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1904885,00.html\" target=\"_blank\">rooted in ancient history\u003c/a>.\" Then, a bit out of left field if you ask me, Atticus’ Mean Dad mentions how much he hates divorce and it’s like the worst thing he’s ever heard of. Shrimpy’s Mean Wife implies she’s about to get a divorce.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Violet and Isobel talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Terrible Mom/Sister Mary gets in like 15 negs on Edith in the space of two minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bedroom, Donk and Cora talk like a proper husband and wife who don’t hate each other’s guts. Yeah. Sure. Totally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife gives Carson a letter. Obviously this means something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore lovingly yells at Daisy and then submits when Donk goads her into going to the war memorial unveiling. He must have something planned; my guess is a little stone memorial of her nephew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Scotland Yard, Anna is put in a lineup of what I hope are other victims of her Rapist. I am hoping for a scene in which they all, one by one, stand up and say “I did it” and then none of them go to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it seems like Violet’s Lady’s Maid has designs on the New Cast Member who is Thomas’s! Step down, lady! Patmore and Daisy get into existentialism and then decide, like, never mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, the Crawley’s openly despise each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At \u003cem>The Hangover: Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, Atticus is wasted and a lady is putting the moves on him in an elevator, but he very kindly puts her off. Until she shows up in his room and does some weird stuff with her outfit. Fact: I said “Ooooh” when this happened because I realized that this must be what Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s letter was about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member continues to build. Hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At lunch in London, Troll Mary has picked the location of Edith and Michael’s first date for the sibling pre-marriage luncheon. That general sisterly unkindness is completely overshadowed by the motherly unkindness of pictures of Atticus with “a tart of some kind” sent by messenger. Rose breaks down at luncheon and then Tom, a genius of some kind, tells her to talk to Atticus about it! What?! Has he seen this show?? Never talk to your spouse or potential spouse about anything important ever! Tom then suggests Atticus’ Mean Dad is behind the dirty pics. Right track, Tom, wrong evil parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson debate systematic racial injustice and personal intolerance. Then Violet’s Lady’s Maid continues her play for the New Cast Member.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in a garden, Molesley walks with his harem and they discuss the transformative power of art. Daisy says, “I feel as if I’ve been down a coal hall and someone’s opened a lid and brought me into the sunlight.” I, unable to contain myself, said, “Oh, god.” So now Daisy’s an Art Major? The threesome see Rose and Atticus fighting in the park and Beyonce Baxter says: “You’re never safe 'til the ring’s on your finger.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Atticus’ house, Atticus confronts Atticus’ Mean Dad about the dirty pic scandal. The Mean Dad is like, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t think our legacy is worth throwing away for “this little shiksa.” Okay now, is it just me or does Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Yiddish sound really forced? This is the first time we’re hearing it and I’m not convinced at all. Atticus’ Mean Dad gives Atticus a lecture on Judaism right before Rose et al. arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before the dinner, everyone tries to act normal as true love sort of falls apart. Mary tries to hide how happy it makes her that true love is falling apart by talking about murdering Edith. Mary, you are a monster. Rose quickly forgives Atticus and they join together as an team of Encyclopedia Browns to find their saboteur. Shrimpy and the Olds get together to explain that the Empire is collapsing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas, the pot, calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid, the kettle, black by telling her to stop being a bully. Takes one to know one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy complains about how art has changed her life so much she has to move to London now and experience the real world. Patmore almost starts crying because, even though Daisy’s become an obnoxious brat, she’s still \u003cem>her\u003c/em> obnoxious brat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady’s Maid are missing. Where oh where have they gone and when oh when will Thomas rescue him?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s room, Shrimpy is waiting for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife because he, like us, knows that she is the villain behind the Atticus dirty pic situation. Turns out he has proof in the form of a checkbook stub! Always pay in cash when you are trying to sabotage your daughter’s happiness!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he’s selling the art that the Art Guy loved so much. Cora looks sad because that guy was honestly nice to her and a lot better of a human than Donk. Rose and the old ladies talk about happiness, love, boyz, etc. and then Carson comes in to tell Violet that her Lady’s Maid is “sick.” Mary and Branson talk about how Tom is leaving for America after Christmas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Violet’s Lady’s Maid is waaaasted. Daisy goes to make her coffee and finds Patmore sobbing. Ugh, now I am almost crying. Patmore and Daisy are the truest love in the world!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas has clearly decided to use his Powers of Sneakiness for good, to rescue the poor New Cast Member from Violet’s Drunk and Gambling Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a registry office, which is not a church, Mary is dressed up again like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>. Because her dirty pics thing didn’t ruin her daughter’s marriage, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife decides to announce that she and Shrimpy are getting divorced. The move backfires because true love cannot be stopped, even by the World’s Second Worst Mom (Mary is clearly the worst).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs up to the registry office, Shrimpy and Rose share a moment of happiness away from their tormentor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sets a trap for Violet’s Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the wedding party, Tony is holding hands with the Girl He Jilted. They come over to Mary and make her delightfully uncomfortable, enough so that she makes an awkward comment about going to their wedding. Edith and Donk have an almost meaningful conversation, until he sees Mary and remembers he doesn’t like Edith and walks off. Tony and Mary debrief about their sex vacation and Carson, who still likes Mary apparently for some unknowable reason, looks on. Rose confronts her mother and tells her she doesn’t know what love is and then moves on to the next guest. A racist gets shut down by Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Mary complains to Carson about how things change. Luckily, Carson also hates change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a basement, Thomas prepares to finally use his trickiness for good. Seriously, is this ever actually going to happen? There's been a lot of build up on this one. Thomas, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady Maid go into a literally underground club called The Velvet Violin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her room, Anna sensually dresses Mary. Sadly, they are interrupted by Anna’s arrest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Velvet Violin, Thomas wins a bunch of money to pay off the New Cast Member’s debt. Not exactly dramatic but nice, I guess. He then sells out the Lady’s Maid to a Sinister Boss with a Mustache. Thomas and the New Cast Member leave and, in the corridor heading out of the basement, Thomas refers to himself as “your uncle Thomas.” I can’t decide if that’s creepy or amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the Velvet Violin, the Lady’s Maid is forced to pay for her drinks. What a dramatic conclusion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, Anna is getting cuffed and Mary is pissed. Bates is really angry and so are the Crawleys because seriously, how many Bates are they going to have to get off of spurious murder charges??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you forgot, it’s time for the war memorial unveiling! The show must go one, apparently, even though Anna the Unblemished is in jail (question: is this God punishing her for aiding and abetting the sex vacation?). The memorial is unveiled and everyone is like war is bad but also good, kinda? As I predicted what seems like five hours ago, Donk has prepared a tiny little memorial for Patmore’s nephew so when the music swells, he can once again be a hero! Super dense Donk finally takes a long look at Edith and realizes that Marigold is her child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a path in the village, Daisy decides not to go to London after all. Bates implies to Mary that he’s going to take the fall or something for the Rapist’s murder, even though that’s not going to happen since the cops know it was a lady. Unless he’s implying that Mary killed him? She \u003cem>is\u003c/em> stone cold so that's totally possible. Isobel and Violet both seem to decide to fight for true love! Edith and Tom say nice things to each other and Carson and Hughes say nice things to each other. Donk admits that he doesn’t think he’ll hate Marigold now that he knows she’s his progeny. And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Character Ranking:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> What a great dad who picked a truly awful wife. Also, he's called Shrimpy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baxter:\u003c/strong> Besides being an angel from Heaven, Baxter is a great Molesley-seductress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Molesly:\u003c/strong> So into the arts now! Opening up worlds for people! Not being annoying about it! How wonderful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Tom:\u003c/strong> Soon Tom will go to America and it will be a tragedy because he's the only thing keeping Mary from literally murdering Edith.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Patmore:\u003c/strong> Patmore is the best character on this show and, this week, her cake was lovely, she got to cry for Daisy and her nephew got a memorial! What a mitzvah, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over",
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"content": "\u003cp>Bienvenue à Downton, mes amis! Mais bien sûr, SPOILER ALERT! On y va!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A train arrives. Or leaves. Or both if you want to get philosophical. Rosamund has come to deal with the immediate Edith Emergency, the true cause of which only Violet and Rosamund are currently aware. Violet apparently has decided to break a cardinal rule of Downton which is: never directly tell anyone information that would probably benefit them. She’s decided to tell Cora why Edith is gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson discuss the upcoming party, which of course Mary would never cancel just because her sister has gone missing. In fact, this seems like the kind of occasion that Mary would like to throw a party for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary proves this hypothesis. Rose and Robert \"Donk\" Crawley join the side that thinks the show must go on. Unfortunately, before Violet and Rosamund can reveal the truth about Edith’s ovaries to Cora, The Baby Watcher’s Wife appears at the door to give her the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the grounds, Tony and Blake go for a walk and talk about sex and how Blake really thinks Tony should break up with Mary (who has already broken up with him by the way so...).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Bates talk about real estate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, the Grantham ladies meet to discuss Baby Marigold. Cora is reasonably upset that Rosamund and Violet are meddling meddlers who didn’t even tell her about their meddling. Cora, ever the radical American, suggests the shocking idea of asking Edith what she wants, if they can ever find her IN LONDON WHERE THEY KNOW SHE IS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Hughes asks a flapper-looking Mary about the ticket she gave her, a.k.a. the Bates Freedom Ticket. Sadly though, Mary burned said ticket. Also sadly, Angel Baxter is eavesdropping. Why? Did \u003cem>she\u003c/em> kill The Rapist?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No time to think too much about it because Rose’s Atticus and his parents are here for the exciting party! It’s going to be so much fun without Edith around to wet blanket the whole thing, am I right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy is sad about politics. She’s so smart and political now she’s basically a nihilist. We’ve all been there, Daisy. Welcome to your freshman year of college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses are giving Angel Baxter the Mean Girl Treatment. If I know Baxter, she will use this opportunity to exonerate Bates once and for all. Because she’s an Angel from Heaven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Donk admits he married a half-Jew and is the Most Tolerant Man in Downton. On the other side of the table, Atticus’ dad and Cora have an awkward conversation about being Jewish-ish. On another other side of the table, Rosamund grills Branson on his spin-off plans. Now that Edith has gotten out, maybe he sees some potential for escape himself? And on yet another other side of the table, Smart Atticus cracks the Edith case wide open by suggesting they call the company she just inherited. Oooooh, Atticus, shoot, no one told you that they aren’t \u003cem>actually\u003c/em> looking for Edith. It’s just sort of a game they are playing for a minute, until they can move on to another cocktail party. Edith who?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, there is another side of the table too because the Girl Who Tony Jilted is discussing marriage with Tony. Speaking of marriage, Isobel has a little announcement to make re: Fancy Fiance. Everyone is very excited, except of course for Violet who will now proceed to lose her BFF and watch said-former-BFF be happier and richer than her for the rest of her sad, Prince-less life. Mary is the only one who notices Granny’s sad face. When Granny lies and says the reason behind it is Edith, Mary makes her usual snide, worst-sister-in-the-world comments about how worthless Edith is. Granny finally fires back: “A lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley tries to re-engage Daisy in the exciting world of literature, but Old Soul Daisy is so sad about politics she can’t be bothered with book learning anymore. Thanks, Obama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, for some reason, Mary convinces the Fancy Fiancé to have a party for Isobel at Downton. Tony plays cards with the Girl He Jilted and pretends like he and Mary are still together because they had sex that one time. Dude, this guy is so clingy! She’s just not that into you, bro!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Atticus Family leaves and Mary and Blake plot about how to shake Tony off. Rose tells Cora, Rosamund and Violet about her boyfriend’s super smart plan to call Edith’s work so Cora and Rosamund make plans to head to London and Cora makes plans to hate Violet for the rest of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates Household, the Most Boring Couple in Downton discuss real estate some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Isis is clearly already dead, but Branson and Donk aren’t super interested because they need to discuss man stuff like how, even though Branson is a Young Republican, they still aren’t going to make out and eventually run off together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Cora and Rosamund have very rudely shown up at Edith’s work, which is exactly where she is hiding out. So I’m guessing she was never that great at Hide and Seek as a child?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Mary and Granny drink tea and listen to Sprat complain. Mary the Sociopath gets Violet to admit to having friendship feelings for Isobel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a bridge, Baby Sybbie and Branson discuss moving to America. Sybbie doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, to be honest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses and the Molesleys and Thomas all have a stare-down. Soon, I imagine they will all make up and talk a lot about real estate together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary receives a mysterious phone call from Blake, summoning her to London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Dead Isis has been moved to a different place in the house and Donk is beginning to catch on. Rose runs into the house just in time for a lecture from Donk about the Struggle of Interfaith Marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a tea house in London, Cora tries to convince Edith to bring Marigold to Downton. Edith, do not do it!! You’ve barely escaped!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley is getting mail and surprise surprise the Bateses are talking about real estate. The Molesley mail is part of a ruse to get Daisy back into books and also a good chance for Thomas to show his newfound kindness (which I’m suspicious of, obviously) and get Baxter to go along with Daisy and Molesley to Daisy’s Dead Husband’s Dad’s farm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a train back to Downton, Edith and Marigold have been re-snared by the Downton-ites (why didn’t she just go to America?!) and there’s a hitch at the station! Mary is there. Ugh. And Anna has spotted them! The Baby Watcher smolders his way onto the train and takes possession of Baby Marigold, while Edith and Cora disembark. Why, Edith? Why do you trust anyone at this point? I feel like I’m watching a horror movie and Edith is the brunette waking into the dark basement on Halloween.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At tea, it is no longer the Old Ladies Club. Isobel’s Fancy Fiancé is there and the “No Boyz Allowed” sign has been removed from the door. (In case anyone has forgotten, the Fancy Fiancé is the father of \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2013/01/07/downton-abbey-recap-the-americans-or-thomas-stole-the-subtext/\" target=\"_blank\">Larry the Drugger\u003c/a> so let’s hope this impending feast involves at least a little criminal activity.) The Fancy Fiancé leaves and the ladies talk boyz boyz boyz like usual, and also issues of household staff. (I refuse to engage in Sprat’s troll-y storyline; he’s a caricature and we have enough actual characters and enough drama so no, I will not discuss his random quitting during tea.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the movies in London, Blake pulls Mary out so he can kiss her on the mouth just as Tony walks out of the theater with the Girl He Jilted on his arm. Apparently that’s all it took to get him to move on! Wow! Such fun cool mind games. Mary, of course, loves it and is now sad that Blake is headed off to Poland (which sounds ominous) for like a year/all eternity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Daisy’s Dead Husband’s Dad’s farm, the ruse to get Daisy back to studying is totally working! All she needs is a more independent older white man to tell her what to do! Where is the Downton Feminist Society on this issue? Petulant College Freshman Daisy is still sad about politics, but she decides to sign up for sophomore English. Outside, Baxter the Angel tells Molesley she can’t tell the Bateses why she spoke with the police (spoiler: it’s because she’s a goddamn angel).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith is giving her family the Marigold “adoption” pitch when Isis the Not-Alive-Dog is carried in. Apparently the dog isn’t actually dead yet but has cancer and Cruel Donk wouldn’t let them put her down, instead opting to watch his favorite dog die in agony. Classic Donk. Anyway, most of the family is totally against Edith’s adoption plan. Luckily, everyone is so distracted by the Isis Tragedy that no one notices that Cora has agreed to let Edith adopt Marigold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna and Hughes talk about real estate (now a standard Downton greeting) and then Anna tells Hughes about what she witnessed at the train station, revealing that Anna and Hughes both know that Edith has a baby. Is this because of the picture they found? Why does everyone need to keep this secret if everyone already knows about it??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, The Fancy Fiancé's sons are predictably awful. At first, it’s just Larry’s Little Brother but then Larry the Drugger starts piling on Isobel because she’s, gasp, middle class! The Fancy Fiancé is reasonably embarrassed that he has raised such a waste of human space and asks him to leave the table. In response, Larry the Drugger makes fun of chauffeurs and Jews. Oooh boy. The present chauffeur takes offense and rightly calls Larry the Drugger (who by the way, drugged him) a bastard. Larry leaves, but Larry’s Little Brother gets to stay and continue being a total jerk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley tells the tale of hero Branson calling Larry the Drugger a bastard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Atticus proposes to Rose and they kiss. Isobel is a little chilly to her Fancy Fiancé who hopefully is still her fiancé. Isobel, good people occasionally have awful children. Remember how Sybbie had like zero opinions on America earlier?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Cora and Donk put Isis in bed with them in some sort of metaphorical I don’t know what. Maybe Isis is their cancerous relationship and they've decided just to let it sleep with them for now?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Cora: \u003c/strong>I hate that you brought Edith back, but I like that you are letting Marigold kind of live with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Marigold:\u003c/strong> I hope you’re remembering all this back and forth, girl. You know who your true mother is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 3. Isis:\u003c/strong> Nooooooooooooooooooooo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Violet:\u003c/strong> You admitted you had a soul. Congrats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Branson:\u003c/strong> If Edith can’t get out, you can. Also, extra points for calling someone a bastard at dinner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Bienvenue à Downton, mes amis! Mais bien sûr, SPOILER ALERT! On y va!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A train arrives. Or leaves. Or both if you want to get philosophical. Rosamund has come to deal with the immediate Edith Emergency, the true cause of which only Violet and Rosamund are currently aware. Violet apparently has decided to break a cardinal rule of Downton which is: never directly tell anyone information that would probably benefit them. She’s decided to tell Cora why Edith is gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson discuss the upcoming party, which of course Mary would never cancel just because her sister has gone missing. In fact, this seems like the kind of occasion that Mary would like to throw a party for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary proves this hypothesis. Rose and Robert \"Donk\" Crawley join the side that thinks the show must go on. Unfortunately, before Violet and Rosamund can reveal the truth about Edith’s ovaries to Cora, The Baby Watcher’s Wife appears at the door to give her the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the grounds, Tony and Blake go for a walk and talk about sex and how Blake really thinks Tony should break up with Mary (who has already broken up with him by the way so...).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Bates talk about real estate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, the Grantham ladies meet to discuss Baby Marigold. Cora is reasonably upset that Rosamund and Violet are meddling meddlers who didn’t even tell her about their meddling. Cora, ever the radical American, suggests the shocking idea of asking Edith what she wants, if they can ever find her IN LONDON WHERE THEY KNOW SHE IS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Hughes asks a flapper-looking Mary about the ticket she gave her, a.k.a. the Bates Freedom Ticket. Sadly though, Mary burned said ticket. Also sadly, Angel Baxter is eavesdropping. Why? Did \u003cem>she\u003c/em> kill The Rapist?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No time to think too much about it because Rose’s Atticus and his parents are here for the exciting party! It’s going to be so much fun without Edith around to wet blanket the whole thing, am I right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy is sad about politics. She’s so smart and political now she’s basically a nihilist. We’ve all been there, Daisy. Welcome to your freshman year of college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses are giving Angel Baxter the Mean Girl Treatment. If I know Baxter, she will use this opportunity to exonerate Bates once and for all. Because she’s an Angel from Heaven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Donk admits he married a half-Jew and is the Most Tolerant Man in Downton. On the other side of the table, Atticus’ dad and Cora have an awkward conversation about being Jewish-ish. On another other side of the table, Rosamund grills Branson on his spin-off plans. Now that Edith has gotten out, maybe he sees some potential for escape himself? And on yet another other side of the table, Smart Atticus cracks the Edith case wide open by suggesting they call the company she just inherited. Oooooh, Atticus, shoot, no one told you that they aren’t \u003cem>actually\u003c/em> looking for Edith. It’s just sort of a game they are playing for a minute, until they can move on to another cocktail party. Edith who?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, there is another side of the table too because the Girl Who Tony Jilted is discussing marriage with Tony. Speaking of marriage, Isobel has a little announcement to make re: Fancy Fiance. Everyone is very excited, except of course for Violet who will now proceed to lose her BFF and watch said-former-BFF be happier and richer than her for the rest of her sad, Prince-less life. Mary is the only one who notices Granny’s sad face. When Granny lies and says the reason behind it is Edith, Mary makes her usual snide, worst-sister-in-the-world comments about how worthless Edith is. Granny finally fires back: “A lack of compassion can be as vulgar as an excess of tears.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley tries to re-engage Daisy in the exciting world of literature, but Old Soul Daisy is so sad about politics she can’t be bothered with book learning anymore. Thanks, Obama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, for some reason, Mary convinces the Fancy Fiancé to have a party for Isobel at Downton. Tony plays cards with the Girl He Jilted and pretends like he and Mary are still together because they had sex that one time. Dude, this guy is so clingy! She’s just not that into you, bro!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Atticus Family leaves and Mary and Blake plot about how to shake Tony off. Rose tells Cora, Rosamund and Violet about her boyfriend’s super smart plan to call Edith’s work so Cora and Rosamund make plans to head to London and Cora makes plans to hate Violet for the rest of time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates Household, the Most Boring Couple in Downton discuss real estate some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Isis is clearly already dead, but Branson and Donk aren’t super interested because they need to discuss man stuff like how, even though Branson is a Young Republican, they still aren’t going to make out and eventually run off together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Cora and Rosamund have very rudely shown up at Edith’s work, which is exactly where she is hiding out. So I’m guessing she was never that great at Hide and Seek as a child?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Mary and Granny drink tea and listen to Sprat complain. Mary the Sociopath gets Violet to admit to having friendship feelings for Isobel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a bridge, Baby Sybbie and Branson discuss moving to America. Sybbie doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, to be honest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses and the Molesleys and Thomas all have a stare-down. Soon, I imagine they will all make up and talk a lot about real estate together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary receives a mysterious phone call from Blake, summoning her to London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Dead Isis has been moved to a different place in the house and Donk is beginning to catch on. Rose runs into the house just in time for a lecture from Donk about the Struggle of Interfaith Marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a tea house in London, Cora tries to convince Edith to bring Marigold to Downton. Edith, do not do it!! You’ve barely escaped!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley is getting mail and surprise surprise the Bateses are talking about real estate. The Molesley mail is part of a ruse to get Daisy back into books and also a good chance for Thomas to show his newfound kindness (which I’m suspicious of, obviously) and get Baxter to go along with Daisy and Molesley to Daisy’s Dead Husband’s Dad’s farm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a train back to Downton, Edith and Marigold have been re-snared by the Downton-ites (why didn’t she just go to America?!) and there’s a hitch at the station! Mary is there. Ugh. And Anna has spotted them! The Baby Watcher smolders his way onto the train and takes possession of Baby Marigold, while Edith and Cora disembark. Why, Edith? Why do you trust anyone at this point? I feel like I’m watching a horror movie and Edith is the brunette waking into the dark basement on Halloween.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At tea, it is no longer the Old Ladies Club. Isobel’s Fancy Fiancé is there and the “No Boyz Allowed” sign has been removed from the door. (In case anyone has forgotten, the Fancy Fiancé is the father of \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2013/01/07/downton-abbey-recap-the-americans-or-thomas-stole-the-subtext/\" target=\"_blank\">Larry the Drugger\u003c/a> so let’s hope this impending feast involves at least a little criminal activity.) The Fancy Fiancé leaves and the ladies talk boyz boyz boyz like usual, and also issues of household staff. (I refuse to engage in Sprat’s troll-y storyline; he’s a caricature and we have enough actual characters and enough drama so no, I will not discuss his random quitting during tea.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the movies in London, Blake pulls Mary out so he can kiss her on the mouth just as Tony walks out of the theater with the Girl He Jilted on his arm. Apparently that’s all it took to get him to move on! Wow! Such fun cool mind games. Mary, of course, loves it and is now sad that Blake is headed off to Poland (which sounds ominous) for like a year/all eternity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Daisy’s Dead Husband’s Dad’s farm, the ruse to get Daisy back to studying is totally working! All she needs is a more independent older white man to tell her what to do! Where is the Downton Feminist Society on this issue? Petulant College Freshman Daisy is still sad about politics, but she decides to sign up for sophomore English. Outside, Baxter the Angel tells Molesley she can’t tell the Bateses why she spoke with the police (spoiler: it’s because she’s a goddamn angel).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith is giving her family the Marigold “adoption” pitch when Isis the Not-Alive-Dog is carried in. Apparently the dog isn’t actually dead yet but has cancer and Cruel Donk wouldn’t let them put her down, instead opting to watch his favorite dog die in agony. Classic Donk. Anyway, most of the family is totally against Edith’s adoption plan. Luckily, everyone is so distracted by the Isis Tragedy that no one notices that Cora has agreed to let Edith adopt Marigold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna and Hughes talk about real estate (now a standard Downton greeting) and then Anna tells Hughes about what she witnessed at the train station, revealing that Anna and Hughes both know that Edith has a baby. Is this because of the picture they found? Why does everyone need to keep this secret if everyone already knows about it??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, The Fancy Fiancé's sons are predictably awful. At first, it’s just Larry’s Little Brother but then Larry the Drugger starts piling on Isobel because she’s, gasp, middle class! The Fancy Fiancé is reasonably embarrassed that he has raised such a waste of human space and asks him to leave the table. In response, Larry the Drugger makes fun of chauffeurs and Jews. Oooh boy. The present chauffeur takes offense and rightly calls Larry the Drugger (who by the way, drugged him) a bastard. Larry leaves, but Larry’s Little Brother gets to stay and continue being a total jerk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley tells the tale of hero Branson calling Larry the Drugger a bastard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Atticus proposes to Rose and they kiss. Isobel is a little chilly to her Fancy Fiancé who hopefully is still her fiancé. Isobel, good people occasionally have awful children. Remember how Sybbie had like zero opinions on America earlier?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Cora and Donk put Isis in bed with them in some sort of metaphorical I don’t know what. Maybe Isis is their cancerous relationship and they've decided just to let it sleep with them for now?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Cora: \u003c/strong>I hate that you brought Edith back, but I like that you are letting Marigold kind of live with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Marigold:\u003c/strong> I hope you’re remembering all this back and forth, girl. You know who your true mother is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 3. Isis:\u003c/strong> Nooooooooooooooooooooo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Violet:\u003c/strong> You admitted you had a soul. Congrats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Branson:\u003c/strong> If Edith can’t get out, you can. Also, extra points for calling someone a bastard at dinner.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train",
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"content": "\u003cp>Ring ring! Who is it? Why, it’s another week of \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>of course! \u003cstrong>Spoiler alert\u003c/strong>, dear friends! Onward!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We begin with a telegram, for Lady Edith. Hughes looks on, concerned, and the telegram passes from Molesley to Carson and finally to Edith as she breakfasts with Rose. The news, of course is not good (this is Edith after all). It’s so bad that Robert \"Donk\" Grantham breaks his silent treatment to speak with Cora, who appears to be John Lennon-ing it for peace in bed. The news: Edith’s Editor is coming to Downton.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">[contextly_sidebar id=\"4v2p2bO4A08lgcYqaQXrMi6omD5O5oi4\"]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">Downstairs, the Downstairs-ites discuss the odds that the news from the Editor is good or bad. Hughes, more an MLK Jr.-type peacemaker than Cora's John Lennon, tries to help patch up the relationship issues between her BF Carson and her BFF Patmore.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary the Sociopath makes jokes about her sister’s dead husband. Because her sister’s misery can only hold her interest for so long, she becomes excited about a letter that says Blake and Tony are coming to Downton for a fight to the death over Mary. Or maybe a horse race. Either way, she’s excited.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, the Old Ladies Club meets to play cards and talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas’ treatments are turning him into an evil vampire. His voice is getting lower, his skin paler, and he seems to be smoking cigarettes at every possible moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some sort of lunch, Edith waits for the Editor to show while her family talks merrily about architectural drawings, the health of the common man and Rose's love interest Atticus (\u003ca href=\"http://jezebel.com/be-suspicious-of-the-new-harper-lee-novel-1683488258\" target=\"_blank\">FREE HARPER LEE\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Bates’ cottage, the time has finally arrived for Mr. Bates to find and be morally outraged by Mary’s prophylactic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a shady alley, Violet takes her new maid on a trip to the Russians.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a car, unceremoniously, the Editor arrives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Patmore, a.k.a. the newest chapter of the Feminist Society of Downton, decides to include a couple new recruits: Carson (so progressive to add a man!) and Daisy, who is actually too busy learning things to be in the society right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dingy room, Violet meets her Russian Prince for what is “not [their] first secret assignation.” This time, it’s, ostensibly, to tell the Prince that his wife is probably alive. Instead, as things are wont to do with a certain type of smoldering older nobleman, things get sexy. “If Irina were dead, I’d ask you to run away with me right now,” the Prince tells Violet. “I loved you more than I loved her. Even today. Even this afternoon.” Whoa, boy. Run away with him, Violet! Take Baby Marigold and just go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the police are calling again. This time, they want to come interview Baxter. Geez Louise. Whose tax dollars are paying for all these trips?? Is this really where the state wants to invest money? Cold cases of jerks getting maybe-murdered?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk comes to tell Cora that they have another child with a dead spouse, though only not-an-official spouse so, like, no harm no foul, right? Plus, I mean, it’s Edith so who really cares? Apparently, Michael was done in by ACTUAL HITLER or else his closest, best buds. History lesson! Apparently \u003ca href=\"http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/hitler-sent-to-landsberg-jail\">Hitler was in jail for a while\u003c/a>? But, never mind because Edith just inherited a publishing company! If Violet doesn’t take Marigold and run, I hope Edith does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House (obviously), it is increasingly surprising that the over-zealous English law officials haven’t been called to the scene due to Edith’s problems with stalking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, things are tense. Thomas is nearly dying, Bates One is onto Bates Two re: contraception device and Molesley is just being weird as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, an interpersonal battle between her two servants that was too boring to mention before this seems to have come to a head over a disagreement regarding laundering underwear. It remains nearly too boring to mention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates cottage, Bates One is giving Bates Two the silent treatment due to the prophylactic discovery. All the people with living spouses seem to now be not on speaking terms with each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Molesley gives Daisy a book on history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk’s room, Donk is being his usually childish baby self and refusing to go back into Cora’s room because his lil baby ego is hurt. Hey, Donk, remember when you had actual sex with a maid? Because I remember. And I think Cora has a pretty good idea that happened too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Donk apparently remembers the maid sex thing and gets out of bed to go join Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Intrepid Detectives are back for Baxter. Clearly this is Thomas-related.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary, Branson, Donk and Cora look at drawings of houses and Isis lies on the floor like a dog. A sick dog. Oh, Isis, don’t be sick! Don’t leave us! Even if your name is now the same name as an international terror organization! You're the heart and soul of this show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas the Dying Villain looks worse than usual. So bad in fact he asks Baxter for help. He has some sort of horrible thing on his body. Baxter should probably just let Thomas die because he ratted her out to just about everyone. But since she’s an Angel from Heaven, she decides to take him to the Doctor. Boooooo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, Mary receives a horrible bob from a fake Frenchman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Doctor’s, it turns out Thomas has just been injecting himself with saline using a dirty needle. So not even a fun or real drug. The Doctor, ever an anachronistic kindly old man, tells Thomas it’s best to just accept yourself for who you are and #ItGetsBetter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the rainy village, Baxter the Saint also tells Thomas #ItGetsBetter. Yeah, totally, you guys. It definitely #GetsBetter in roughly 100 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Isis is not so hot. Noooo! I can’t take the death of a character I actually care about!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Feminist Society’s Secondary Chapter takes a field trip to Patmore’s new house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary debuts her unflattering haircut. Luckily, Granny’s on the case: “Oh, it is you!” she says. “I thought it was a man wearing your clothes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith, in black, points out that everyone talking about haircuts the day after her not-husband was confirmed dead is uncool. Of course everyone takes Mary’s side. Hey, Edith, ugh, stop being such a downer. Let your family go to a fun party picnic if they want to!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates cabin, Bates One calls out Bates Two for thinking he’s a murderer. It turns out that God actually pushed Anna’s Rapist and someone somewhere has the ticket Bates would have used to get to London, but it’s whole which means he never went to London. Verdict: Adnan didn’t do it!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley decides to become an ally of the Downton Feminist Society and encourages Daisy’s studies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in the hall, Anna asks Hughes if she still has the ticket that would exonerate Bates and prove, again, that he's not a murderer. Apparently Hughes doesn’t have the ticket, but, I don’t know, that doesn’t sound like Hughes to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the horse race, the Girl Who Tony Jilted is there with Blake, prepared to race herself. Mary, whose hair and hat combo make her look like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>, is also joining in the race with the boys. Also, Tony. So it’s going to be a swingers party later at Downton. It’s not just the hair that’s modern, right, guys??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith tells Branson that she’s going away. Who would have thought Edith would escape before Tom though? Wow. I'm actually proud of Edith. I get it. Do you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, Edith prepares to abscond with her child. The Baby Watcher’s Wife is pretty pissed that the Baby Watcher lied to her about Marigold's parentage. I mean, I get that. He could have told her and it would have been totally okay. The Baby Watcher smolders harder in the distance than even a Russian Prince. Edith takes Marigold and one hopes they live happily ever after.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the race, Mary gets ready to outshine her droogs while her family looks on. In what might be the top moment of the season, Baby Sybbie says to her grandfather: “Can I have a look, Donk?” She speaks! And when she speaks, she calls him the correct name!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Isobel tells Violet she’s decided to marry the Fancy Suitor. What will we call him then, the Fancy Fiancee? The Fancy Husband?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The race begins and of course it isn’t just any race but is in fact a symbolic race for dominance over the droogs! After the race (who won? did it matter?), the family meets Atticus’s Jewish Parents. Violet, who seems to have forgotten her daughter-in-law is one of the Chosen People too, is not excited. Someone tell her about the Jazz Singer, quick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, upstairs, everyone sees that Edith is gone and they are kind of relieved. Violet slips out to go check the Baby Watcher’s Farm for clues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson are a little more concerned about Edith's disappearance because they are not monsters like the Crawley family. I mean, they care a little but only a little because then Carson proposes that they jointly invest in property together! OMG the romance of it all! Hughes basically giggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, the Baby Watcher continues to smolder in the general direction of Violet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet walks away, potentially a bit concerned that she pretty much ran her granddaughter out of Downton.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Never fear, Violet! In London, Marigold and her Mama are at a hotel and Edith is smiling. Have we seen this any time in the last 4 years? Edith for Life! Free Edith! And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. The Fake French Hairstylist:\u003c/strong> I love the way you tricked Mary into looking like a fictional criminal from the future!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baby Sybbie:\u003c/strong> You called him Donk, kiddo. That’s all you had to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Isis the Dog:\u003c/strong> What is wrong you with doggers?! Don’t leave me!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. The Baby Watcher:\u003c/strong> Why is it only now that I am realizing how hot you are? You’re like Marlon Brando or something. Ugh. Those eyebrows. Never change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Edith:\u003c/strong> She may be a sad sack and she may be a classic middle child, but gosh darn it, Edith is OUT. She’s the new Sybil and she’s doing it without a man even!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week on Downton, someone gets an scandalous haircut and someone else peaces out (for good?).",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Ring ring! Who is it? Why, it’s another week of \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>of course! \u003cstrong>Spoiler alert\u003c/strong>, dear friends! Onward!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We begin with a telegram, for Lady Edith. Hughes looks on, concerned, and the telegram passes from Molesley to Carson and finally to Edith as she breakfasts with Rose. The news, of course is not good (this is Edith after all). It’s so bad that Robert \"Donk\" Grantham breaks his silent treatment to speak with Cora, who appears to be John Lennon-ing it for peace in bed. The news: Edith’s Editor is coming to Downton.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">Downstairs, the Downstairs-ites discuss the odds that the news from the Editor is good or bad. Hughes, more an MLK Jr.-type peacemaker than Cora's John Lennon, tries to help patch up the relationship issues between her BF Carson and her BFF Patmore.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary the Sociopath makes jokes about her sister’s dead husband. Because her sister’s misery can only hold her interest for so long, she becomes excited about a letter that says Blake and Tony are coming to Downton for a fight to the death over Mary. Or maybe a horse race. Either way, she’s excited.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, the Old Ladies Club meets to play cards and talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas’ treatments are turning him into an evil vampire. His voice is getting lower, his skin paler, and he seems to be smoking cigarettes at every possible moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some sort of lunch, Edith waits for the Editor to show while her family talks merrily about architectural drawings, the health of the common man and Rose's love interest Atticus (\u003ca href=\"http://jezebel.com/be-suspicious-of-the-new-harper-lee-novel-1683488258\" target=\"_blank\">FREE HARPER LEE\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Bates’ cottage, the time has finally arrived for Mr. Bates to find and be morally outraged by Mary’s prophylactic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a shady alley, Violet takes her new maid on a trip to the Russians.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a car, unceremoniously, the Editor arrives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Patmore, a.k.a. the newest chapter of the Feminist Society of Downton, decides to include a couple new recruits: Carson (so progressive to add a man!) and Daisy, who is actually too busy learning things to be in the society right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dingy room, Violet meets her Russian Prince for what is “not [their] first secret assignation.” This time, it’s, ostensibly, to tell the Prince that his wife is probably alive. Instead, as things are wont to do with a certain type of smoldering older nobleman, things get sexy. “If Irina were dead, I’d ask you to run away with me right now,” the Prince tells Violet. “I loved you more than I loved her. Even today. Even this afternoon.” Whoa, boy. Run away with him, Violet! Take Baby Marigold and just go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the police are calling again. This time, they want to come interview Baxter. Geez Louise. Whose tax dollars are paying for all these trips?? Is this really where the state wants to invest money? Cold cases of jerks getting maybe-murdered?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk comes to tell Cora that they have another child with a dead spouse, though only not-an-official spouse so, like, no harm no foul, right? Plus, I mean, it’s Edith so who really cares? Apparently, Michael was done in by ACTUAL HITLER or else his closest, best buds. History lesson! Apparently \u003ca href=\"http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/hitler-sent-to-landsberg-jail\">Hitler was in jail for a while\u003c/a>? But, never mind because Edith just inherited a publishing company! If Violet doesn’t take Marigold and run, I hope Edith does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House (obviously), it is increasingly surprising that the over-zealous English law officials haven’t been called to the scene due to Edith’s problems with stalking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, things are tense. Thomas is nearly dying, Bates One is onto Bates Two re: contraception device and Molesley is just being weird as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, an interpersonal battle between her two servants that was too boring to mention before this seems to have come to a head over a disagreement regarding laundering underwear. It remains nearly too boring to mention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates cottage, Bates One is giving Bates Two the silent treatment due to the prophylactic discovery. All the people with living spouses seem to now be not on speaking terms with each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Molesley gives Daisy a book on history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk’s room, Donk is being his usually childish baby self and refusing to go back into Cora’s room because his lil baby ego is hurt. Hey, Donk, remember when you had actual sex with a maid? Because I remember. And I think Cora has a pretty good idea that happened too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Donk apparently remembers the maid sex thing and gets out of bed to go join Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Intrepid Detectives are back for Baxter. Clearly this is Thomas-related.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary, Branson, Donk and Cora look at drawings of houses and Isis lies on the floor like a dog. A sick dog. Oh, Isis, don’t be sick! Don’t leave us! Even if your name is now the same name as an international terror organization! You're the heart and soul of this show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas the Dying Villain looks worse than usual. So bad in fact he asks Baxter for help. He has some sort of horrible thing on his body. Baxter should probably just let Thomas die because he ratted her out to just about everyone. But since she’s an Angel from Heaven, she decides to take him to the Doctor. Boooooo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, Mary receives a horrible bob from a fake Frenchman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Doctor’s, it turns out Thomas has just been injecting himself with saline using a dirty needle. So not even a fun or real drug. The Doctor, ever an anachronistic kindly old man, tells Thomas it’s best to just accept yourself for who you are and #ItGetsBetter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the rainy village, Baxter the Saint also tells Thomas #ItGetsBetter. Yeah, totally, you guys. It definitely #GetsBetter in roughly 100 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Isis is not so hot. Noooo! I can’t take the death of a character I actually care about!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Feminist Society’s Secondary Chapter takes a field trip to Patmore’s new house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary debuts her unflattering haircut. Luckily, Granny’s on the case: “Oh, it is you!” she says. “I thought it was a man wearing your clothes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith, in black, points out that everyone talking about haircuts the day after her not-husband was confirmed dead is uncool. Of course everyone takes Mary’s side. Hey, Edith, ugh, stop being such a downer. Let your family go to a fun party picnic if they want to!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bates cabin, Bates One calls out Bates Two for thinking he’s a murderer. It turns out that God actually pushed Anna’s Rapist and someone somewhere has the ticket Bates would have used to get to London, but it’s whole which means he never went to London. Verdict: Adnan didn’t do it!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley decides to become an ally of the Downton Feminist Society and encourages Daisy’s studies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in the hall, Anna asks Hughes if she still has the ticket that would exonerate Bates and prove, again, that he's not a murderer. Apparently Hughes doesn’t have the ticket, but, I don’t know, that doesn’t sound like Hughes to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the horse race, the Girl Who Tony Jilted is there with Blake, prepared to race herself. Mary, whose hair and hat combo make her look like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>, is also joining in the race with the boys. Also, Tony. So it’s going to be a swingers party later at Downton. It’s not just the hair that’s modern, right, guys??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith tells Branson that she’s going away. Who would have thought Edith would escape before Tom though? Wow. I'm actually proud of Edith. I get it. Do you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, Edith prepares to abscond with her child. The Baby Watcher’s Wife is pretty pissed that the Baby Watcher lied to her about Marigold's parentage. I mean, I get that. He could have told her and it would have been totally okay. The Baby Watcher smolders harder in the distance than even a Russian Prince. Edith takes Marigold and one hopes they live happily ever after.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the race, Mary gets ready to outshine her droogs while her family looks on. In what might be the top moment of the season, Baby Sybbie says to her grandfather: “Can I have a look, Donk?” She speaks! And when she speaks, she calls him the correct name!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Isobel tells Violet she’s decided to marry the Fancy Suitor. What will we call him then, the Fancy Fiancee? The Fancy Husband?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The race begins and of course it isn’t just any race but is in fact a symbolic race for dominance over the droogs! After the race (who won? did it matter?), the family meets Atticus’s Jewish Parents. Violet, who seems to have forgotten her daughter-in-law is one of the Chosen People too, is not excited. Someone tell her about the Jazz Singer, quick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, upstairs, everyone sees that Edith is gone and they are kind of relieved. Violet slips out to go check the Baby Watcher’s Farm for clues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson are a little more concerned about Edith's disappearance because they are not monsters like the Crawley family. I mean, they care a little but only a little because then Carson proposes that they jointly invest in property together! OMG the romance of it all! Hughes basically giggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, the Baby Watcher continues to smolder in the general direction of Violet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet walks away, potentially a bit concerned that she pretty much ran her granddaughter out of Downton.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Never fear, Violet! In London, Marigold and her Mama are at a hotel and Edith is smiling. Have we seen this any time in the last 4 years? Edith for Life! Free Edith! And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. The Fake French Hairstylist:\u003c/strong> I love the way you tricked Mary into looking like a fictional criminal from the future!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baby Sybbie:\u003c/strong> You called him Donk, kiddo. That’s all you had to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Isis the Dog:\u003c/strong> What is wrong you with doggers?! Don’t leave me!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. The Baby Watcher:\u003c/strong> Why is it only now that I am realizing how hot you are? You’re like Marlon Brando or something. Ugh. Those eyebrows. Never change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Edith:\u003c/strong> She may be a sad sack and she may be a classic middle child, but gosh darn it, Edith is OUT. She’s the new Sybil and she’s doing it without a man even!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Missing The Actors Who Quit Downton? Here Are 3 Strange, Dark Gems To Watch Them In",
"title": "Missing The Actors Who Quit Downton? Here Are 3 Strange, Dark Gems To Watch Them In",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>‘Twas ever thus: seasons change, dogs molt and stars of \u003ca title=\"Downton Abbey\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/\" target=\"_blank\">phenomenally popular television shows\u003c/a> junk their secure employment for \"exciting new roles.\" \u003ca title=\"Downton Abbey on KQED\" href=\"http://www.kqed.org/tv/programs/downtonabbey.jsp\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, now in its fifth season (\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/tv/programs/index.jsp?pgmid=17336\" target=\"_blank\">9pm Sundays on KQED 9\u003c/a>) is no stranger to departing actors—many of whom came to the Crawley estate from very different roles, or have since gone on to unexpected things. So to all those still missing Matthew, Sybil et al, I say: why not let that aching sense of loss be your spur to discover some dark, strange and under-appreciated stuff these actors have given the world before or since \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dan Stevens (as Matthew Crawley, last seen in 2012’s Christmas Special)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch him in:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>\u003cstrong>The Guest (2014)\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/IHoGd.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2586\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/IHoGd-1024x742.jpg\" alt=\"IHoGd\" width=\"640\" height=\"463\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I’ll be damned if little Matthew Crawley wasn’t responsible for the best — but also most underrated — American thriller of last year (even better than \u003ca title=\"Nightcrawler (2014)\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2872718/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Nightcrawler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!). \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2980592/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em>\u003c/a> was the movie for which Dan Stevens got buff and jumped the Good Ship Downton to widespread outcry — particularly in his native Britain, where ridiculing homegrown stars who exhibit any sense of ambition to “crack America” is basically a national pastime. On the evidence of this irresistible homage to 1980s thrillers, the doubters should now be eating humble pie, or at least they \u003cem>would\u003c/em> be, if anyone had actually seen it. (\u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em> made barely over $300,000 in the U.S., and was met with a critical reception best described as “eh?”)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/guest34562.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2582\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/guest34562.jpg\" alt=\"guest34562\" width=\"635\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mis-sold as a horror film on the back of director-writer team Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett’s 2011’s previous family-in-peril movie, the preposterously enjoyable \u003cem>You’re Next, \u003c/em>this movie is totally Stevens' show. Physically unrecognizable as the same gentle Matthew who stole your mother’s heart, he's the titular Guest: the wiry, intense David who turns up unannounced on the doorstep of a bereaved family introducing himself as a soldier who served alongside their late son. He's quickly invited to “stay awhile,” and he’s soon drinking beer with the grieving parents, picking up their troubled son from school and hogging the bathroom from their 20 year-old daughter. But as he inveigles himself further into their lives, ominous questions arise. Why doesn’t David have any I.D? Why is he trying to buy a gun? And why do people all around them keep getting injured or turning up dead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2584\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"195\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thanks to its insistent electro-synth score, splashy neon palette and taciturn lead hardman prone to bursts of extreme violence, \u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em> has been characterized online as “\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em> with a sense of humor,” but really that's overselling \u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>. It’s clear that David’s unnerving demeanor, ambiguous intentions, and his Terminator bar-brawl moves all point towards something very bad about to go down. What sets this movie apart from a thousand other generic thrillers is a) its gleeful refusal to let a well-worn plot play out how you’re expecting and b) its deep love of the “relentless foe” movies (\u003cem>Halloween\u003c/em>, \u003cem>The Hitcher\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Terminator\u003c/em>) to which it’s paying tribute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whether Stevens is charming his dead pal’s mother, entrancing the aforementioned sister in a \u003ca title=\"Shower scene\" href=\"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bekNWJnbrK0/VJsH29K2CMI/AAAAAAAADMY/MoJYGyhoHPA/s1600/tumblr_n7yyzefeKo1r2lupvo1_500.gif\" target=\"_blank\">much-Tumblred bathroom scene\u003c/a> or mounting a disproportionately vicious assault on some unfortunate high school bullies, he’s compelling, terrifying and — most refreshingly — really funny, with a sly sense of humor that’s totally crucial to this movie’s infectious absurdity. (Just watch the way he rolls his eyes and tuts in exasperation while dodging bullets.) Right up until the climactic showdown that mischievously literalizes the true horror of your high-school prom, Stevens just \u003cem>gets\u003c/em> the inherent ridiculousness of the lone-wolf archetype that Ryan Gosling made so ultimately uninteresting, and its a joy to watch. So if all \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> alumni’s forays into the world of action movies are this good, step up, \u003ca title=\"PBS Character Hub: Carson\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/character-hub/series/downton-abbey-s5/character/charles-carson_s528\" target=\"_blank\">Carson\u003c/a>; Liam Neeson can’t keep hogging the middle-aged hero niche forever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jessica Brown Findlay (as Lady Sybil, last seen in Season 3)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch her in:\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong> Black Mirror, \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>“Fifteen Million Merits”\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2593 alignleft\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/f60d5caa87afd849c37131c12b1db468ea4aab06.jpg\" alt=\"f60d5caa87afd849c37131c12b1db468ea4aab06\" width=\"610\" height=\"396\">Lady Sybil was the first real \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> character to be sacrificed to an actor’s ambitions. Unlike Dan Stevens, she clearly harbored no desire to 'cast off the corset,' choosing instead a series of costumed roles. Unfortunately, her first major movie after exiting the show was the widely-derided period 2014 fantasy \u003ca title=\"Winter's Tale\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1837709/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Winter’s Tale\u003c/em>\u003c/a> with Colin Farrell. (Fun fact: Martin Scorsese apparently turned down the chance to direct that adaptation of Mark Helprin’s 1983 novel, calling it “unfilmable.” When Martin Scorsese says he \u003cem>literally doesn’t know\u003c/em> how he’d make your film, maybe this is a red flag?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/15-million-merits.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2594\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/15-million-merits-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"15-million-merits\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter: as you sip your Lady Sybil Memorial Martini on a Sunday night in front of Downton Season 5, consider next firing up the episode of British satire/science fiction \u003ca title=\"Black Mirror\" href=\"http://www.channel4.com/programmes/black-mirror/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that Brown Findlay starred in back in 2011. Now \u003ca title=\"Black Mirror on Netflix\" href=\"http://www.theverge.com/tldr/2014/12/1/7315405/black-mirror-sci-fi-finally-streaming-netflix\" target=\"_blank\">on Netflix\u003c/a> in its entirety (which is the reason everyone you know and their dog is now talking about it), this British show is best described as a technophobe \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em>, with each stand-alone episode envisioning a different nightmarish way our obsession with all things digital might destroy our humanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca title=\"Fifteen Million Merits\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2089049/\" target=\"_blank\">“Fifteen Million Merits”\u003c/a> imagines a dystopian tower-block world in which bovine citizens spend most of their waking hours pedaling on exercise bikes to earn “merits” that can be used to skip the incessant advertising that literally surrounds them. The one glimpse of humanity in this hideous world is the budding affinity between protagonist Bing and a girl named Abi (Brown Findlay), whom he overhears singing and encourages to audition live on TV for the thinly-veiled X-Factor-style talent show that occupies their screens in between commercials. Unfortunately, this gesture of friendship and self-determination sparks their descent into a worse Hell than the one they inhabit: the world of reality television. Sweet, innocent Lady Sybil makes it down the elevator, through the teeming bodies waiting for their moment of stardom and onto the stage in front of the judges — but there’s a price for girls who don’t make the cut.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/findlay.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2591\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/findlay.jpg\" alt=\"findlay\" width=\"650\" height=\"329\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Admittedly, \u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em> is never \u003cem>quite\u003c/em> as subversive or cutting-edge as it believes itself to be, and its didacticism about the insidious evils of the screens that surround us (the \"black mirrors\" of the title) is about as subtle as having an actual TV smashed over your head. But each of its episodes are guaranteed to be the strangest things you’ll watch on a screen this year and, in that sense, its ambition can’t be faulted. And if its all \u003cem>too\u003c/em> depressing? At least there’s a bonus for lovers of costumed dramas: \u003ca title=\"Rupert Everett IMDB\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000391/\" target=\"_blank\">Rupert Everett\u003c/a> as one of the odious talent show judges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Siobhan Finneran (Sarah O’Brien, last seen in Season 4)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch her in:\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong> Boy A\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/Screenshot-2015-01-25-at-8.21.10-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2599\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/Screenshot-2015-01-25-at-8.21.10-PM.png\" alt=\"Screenshot 2015-01-25 at 8.21.10 PM\" width=\"502\" height=\"425\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If that \u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em> episode is too pessimistic for you, then for goodness’ sake don’t go near this next one. Before playing lady’s maid/certified bad egg Sarah O’Brien in \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> — last seen absconding to India, in search of bigger and brighter lady’s maid opportunities — Siobhan Finneran was a reliable face around British film and TV for years. Her roles were often in mysteries and crime dramas, but surely none so bleak as 2007's \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>, a sparse drama charting the plight of a young man (a young Andrew Garfield, of \u003cem>The Amazing Spiderman\u003c/em> fame) newly-released from prison for a murder he and a friend committed aged just 10 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After spending over half of his life behind bars, the shy 24 year-old known only as “Boy A” during his trial is given a new name, a new identity and a fresh start in a town far away from his previous life. Desperate for normality and to leave his unspeakable past behind him, “Jack” slowly begins to forge friendships with new coworkers (including Shaun Evans, a.k.a. the young Inspector Morse in PBS’ \u003ca title=\"PBS Endeavour\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/endeavour/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Endeavour\u003c/em>\u003c/a>) and find a delicate happiness with his first-ever girlfriend. But of course, it can’t last: the tabloid papers have learned that the notorious Boy A has been released from prison and there’s a bounty online for details of his new identity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2602\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_lzpgqeKfG91qkyprd.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lzpgqeKfG91qkyprd\" width=\"500\" height=\"228\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite its premise (drawing from the infamous \u003ca title=\"Murder of James Bulger\" href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger\" target=\"_blank\">1993 UK murder of the British toddler James Bulger by two 10 year-old boys\u003c/a>), \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>’s handling of the disturbing subject matter is unfailingly sensitive and almost too poignant. Garfield is heartbreaking, as vulnerable as a child in his mannerisms and expressions, making the sparing flashbacks to his childhood before the shocking murder — bullied by his peers, surrounded by adults who are too tired, sick or unfeeling to protect him — doubly unbearable to watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/1366354980_2_full.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2603\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/1366354980_2_full.jpg\" alt=\"1366354980_2_full\" width=\"650\" height=\"433\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the unsuspecting woman who takes in Jack as her lodger, Siobhan Finneran’s role is a small but crucial one. Ignorant of the true identity of the young man she’s opened her home to, she represents not only the wider community that houses the kind of people like Jack in the real world, but also the deception that safe harbor demands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>'s primary focus is the inadequacies of a society that incarcerates children, it's her character's un-O'Brien-ish openness and warmth (glimpsed in the easy silence in which she and Garfield eat their TV dinners side-by-side) that drives home the moral conundrum of this kind of offender rehabilitation. Why? Because to work, it totally relies on her lack of consent. One thing’s for sure: after this and 2010’s sob-fest \u003cem>Never Let Me Go\u003c/em>, Andrew Garfield has a whole generation of film-goers conditioned to start weeping at the mere sight of his big brown eyes. Proceed with caution — and tissues.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "If you're still feeling the loss of Matthew, Sybil and O'Brien from Downton Abbey, we recommend watching these under-appreciated onscreen oddities.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>‘Twas ever thus: seasons change, dogs molt and stars of \u003ca title=\"Downton Abbey\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/\" target=\"_blank\">phenomenally popular television shows\u003c/a> junk their secure employment for \"exciting new roles.\" \u003ca title=\"Downton Abbey on KQED\" href=\"http://www.kqed.org/tv/programs/downtonabbey.jsp\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, now in its fifth season (\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/tv/programs/index.jsp?pgmid=17336\" target=\"_blank\">9pm Sundays on KQED 9\u003c/a>) is no stranger to departing actors—many of whom came to the Crawley estate from very different roles, or have since gone on to unexpected things. So to all those still missing Matthew, Sybil et al, I say: why not let that aching sense of loss be your spur to discover some dark, strange and under-appreciated stuff these actors have given the world before or since \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dan Stevens (as Matthew Crawley, last seen in 2012’s Christmas Special)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch him in:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>\u003cstrong>The Guest (2014)\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/IHoGd.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2586\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/IHoGd-1024x742.jpg\" alt=\"IHoGd\" width=\"640\" height=\"463\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I’ll be damned if little Matthew Crawley wasn’t responsible for the best — but also most underrated — American thriller of last year (even better than \u003ca title=\"Nightcrawler (2014)\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2872718/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Nightcrawler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!). \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2980592/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em>\u003c/a> was the movie for which Dan Stevens got buff and jumped the Good Ship Downton to widespread outcry — particularly in his native Britain, where ridiculing homegrown stars who exhibit any sense of ambition to “crack America” is basically a national pastime. On the evidence of this irresistible homage to 1980s thrillers, the doubters should now be eating humble pie, or at least they \u003cem>would\u003c/em> be, if anyone had actually seen it. (\u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em> made barely over $300,000 in the U.S., and was met with a critical reception best described as “eh?”)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/guest34562.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2582\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/guest34562.jpg\" alt=\"guest34562\" width=\"635\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mis-sold as a horror film on the back of director-writer team Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett’s 2011’s previous family-in-peril movie, the preposterously enjoyable \u003cem>You’re Next, \u003c/em>this movie is totally Stevens' show. Physically unrecognizable as the same gentle Matthew who stole your mother’s heart, he's the titular Guest: the wiry, intense David who turns up unannounced on the doorstep of a bereaved family introducing himself as a soldier who served alongside their late son. He's quickly invited to “stay awhile,” and he’s soon drinking beer with the grieving parents, picking up their troubled son from school and hogging the bathroom from their 20 year-old daughter. But as he inveigles himself further into their lives, ominous questions arise. Why doesn’t David have any I.D? Why is he trying to buy a gun? And why do people all around them keep getting injured or turning up dead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2584\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n7s6yzOpww1so3dl0o5_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"195\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thanks to its insistent electro-synth score, splashy neon palette and taciturn lead hardman prone to bursts of extreme violence, \u003cem>The Guest\u003c/em> has been characterized online as “\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em> with a sense of humor,” but really that's overselling \u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>. It’s clear that David’s unnerving demeanor, ambiguous intentions, and his Terminator bar-brawl moves all point towards something very bad about to go down. What sets this movie apart from a thousand other generic thrillers is a) its gleeful refusal to let a well-worn plot play out how you’re expecting and b) its deep love of the “relentless foe” movies (\u003cem>Halloween\u003c/em>, \u003cem>The Hitcher\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Terminator\u003c/em>) to which it’s paying tribute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whether Stevens is charming his dead pal’s mother, entrancing the aforementioned sister in a \u003ca title=\"Shower scene\" href=\"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bekNWJnbrK0/VJsH29K2CMI/AAAAAAAADMY/MoJYGyhoHPA/s1600/tumblr_n7yyzefeKo1r2lupvo1_500.gif\" target=\"_blank\">much-Tumblred bathroom scene\u003c/a> or mounting a disproportionately vicious assault on some unfortunate high school bullies, he’s compelling, terrifying and — most refreshingly — really funny, with a sly sense of humor that’s totally crucial to this movie’s infectious absurdity. (Just watch the way he rolls his eyes and tuts in exasperation while dodging bullets.) Right up until the climactic showdown that mischievously literalizes the true horror of your high-school prom, Stevens just \u003cem>gets\u003c/em> the inherent ridiculousness of the lone-wolf archetype that Ryan Gosling made so ultimately uninteresting, and its a joy to watch. So if all \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> alumni’s forays into the world of action movies are this good, step up, \u003ca title=\"PBS Character Hub: Carson\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/character-hub/series/downton-abbey-s5/character/charles-carson_s528\" target=\"_blank\">Carson\u003c/a>; Liam Neeson can’t keep hogging the middle-aged hero niche forever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jessica Brown Findlay (as Lady Sybil, last seen in Season 3)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch her in:\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong> Black Mirror, \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>“Fifteen Million Merits”\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-2593 alignleft\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/f60d5caa87afd849c37131c12b1db468ea4aab06.jpg\" alt=\"f60d5caa87afd849c37131c12b1db468ea4aab06\" width=\"610\" height=\"396\">Lady Sybil was the first real \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> character to be sacrificed to an actor’s ambitions. Unlike Dan Stevens, she clearly harbored no desire to 'cast off the corset,' choosing instead a series of costumed roles. Unfortunately, her first major movie after exiting the show was the widely-derided period 2014 fantasy \u003ca title=\"Winter's Tale\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1837709/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Winter’s Tale\u003c/em>\u003c/a> with Colin Farrell. (Fun fact: Martin Scorsese apparently turned down the chance to direct that adaptation of Mark Helprin’s 1983 novel, calling it “unfilmable.” When Martin Scorsese says he \u003cem>literally doesn’t know\u003c/em> how he’d make your film, maybe this is a red flag?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/15-million-merits.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2594\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/15-million-merits-1024x576.jpg\" alt=\"15-million-merits\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No matter: as you sip your Lady Sybil Memorial Martini on a Sunday night in front of Downton Season 5, consider next firing up the episode of British satire/science fiction \u003ca title=\"Black Mirror\" href=\"http://www.channel4.com/programmes/black-mirror/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that Brown Findlay starred in back in 2011. Now \u003ca title=\"Black Mirror on Netflix\" href=\"http://www.theverge.com/tldr/2014/12/1/7315405/black-mirror-sci-fi-finally-streaming-netflix\" target=\"_blank\">on Netflix\u003c/a> in its entirety (which is the reason everyone you know and their dog is now talking about it), this British show is best described as a technophobe \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em>, with each stand-alone episode envisioning a different nightmarish way our obsession with all things digital might destroy our humanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca title=\"Fifteen Million Merits\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2089049/\" target=\"_blank\">“Fifteen Million Merits”\u003c/a> imagines a dystopian tower-block world in which bovine citizens spend most of their waking hours pedaling on exercise bikes to earn “merits” that can be used to skip the incessant advertising that literally surrounds them. The one glimpse of humanity in this hideous world is the budding affinity between protagonist Bing and a girl named Abi (Brown Findlay), whom he overhears singing and encourages to audition live on TV for the thinly-veiled X-Factor-style talent show that occupies their screens in between commercials. Unfortunately, this gesture of friendship and self-determination sparks their descent into a worse Hell than the one they inhabit: the world of reality television. Sweet, innocent Lady Sybil makes it down the elevator, through the teeming bodies waiting for their moment of stardom and onto the stage in front of the judges — but there’s a price for girls who don’t make the cut.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/findlay.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2591\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/findlay.jpg\" alt=\"findlay\" width=\"650\" height=\"329\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Admittedly, \u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em> is never \u003cem>quite\u003c/em> as subversive or cutting-edge as it believes itself to be, and its didacticism about the insidious evils of the screens that surround us (the \"black mirrors\" of the title) is about as subtle as having an actual TV smashed over your head. But each of its episodes are guaranteed to be the strangest things you’ll watch on a screen this year and, in that sense, its ambition can’t be faulted. And if its all \u003cem>too\u003c/em> depressing? At least there’s a bonus for lovers of costumed dramas: \u003ca title=\"Rupert Everett IMDB\" href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000391/\" target=\"_blank\">Rupert Everett\u003c/a> as one of the odious talent show judges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Siobhan Finneran (Sarah O’Brien, last seen in Season 4)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Why not watch her in:\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong> Boy A\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/Screenshot-2015-01-25-at-8.21.10-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2599\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/Screenshot-2015-01-25-at-8.21.10-PM.png\" alt=\"Screenshot 2015-01-25 at 8.21.10 PM\" width=\"502\" height=\"425\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If that \u003cem>Black Mirror\u003c/em> episode is too pessimistic for you, then for goodness’ sake don’t go near this next one. Before playing lady’s maid/certified bad egg Sarah O’Brien in \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> — last seen absconding to India, in search of bigger and brighter lady’s maid opportunities — Siobhan Finneran was a reliable face around British film and TV for years. Her roles were often in mysteries and crime dramas, but surely none so bleak as 2007's \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>, a sparse drama charting the plight of a young man (a young Andrew Garfield, of \u003cem>The Amazing Spiderman\u003c/em> fame) newly-released from prison for a murder he and a friend committed aged just 10 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After spending over half of his life behind bars, the shy 24 year-old known only as “Boy A” during his trial is given a new name, a new identity and a fresh start in a town far away from his previous life. Desperate for normality and to leave his unspeakable past behind him, “Jack” slowly begins to forge friendships with new coworkers (including Shaun Evans, a.k.a. the young Inspector Morse in PBS’ \u003ca title=\"PBS Endeavour\" href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/programs/endeavour/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Endeavour\u003c/em>\u003c/a>) and find a delicate happiness with his first-ever girlfriend. But of course, it can’t last: the tabloid papers have learned that the notorious Boy A has been released from prison and there’s a bounty online for details of his new identity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2602\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/tumblr_lzpgqeKfG91qkyprd.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lzpgqeKfG91qkyprd\" width=\"500\" height=\"228\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite its premise (drawing from the infamous \u003ca title=\"Murder of James Bulger\" href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger\" target=\"_blank\">1993 UK murder of the British toddler James Bulger by two 10 year-old boys\u003c/a>), \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>’s handling of the disturbing subject matter is unfailingly sensitive and almost too poignant. Garfield is heartbreaking, as vulnerable as a child in his mannerisms and expressions, making the sparing flashbacks to his childhood before the shocking murder — bullied by his peers, surrounded by adults who are too tired, sick or unfeeling to protect him — doubly unbearable to watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/1366354980_2_full.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2603\" src=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/giveaway/files/2015/01/1366354980_2_full.jpg\" alt=\"1366354980_2_full\" width=\"650\" height=\"433\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the unsuspecting woman who takes in Jack as her lodger, Siobhan Finneran’s role is a small but crucial one. Ignorant of the true identity of the young man she’s opened her home to, she represents not only the wider community that houses the kind of people like Jack in the real world, but also the deception that safe harbor demands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While \u003cem>Boy A\u003c/em>'s primary focus is the inadequacies of a society that incarcerates children, it's her character's un-O'Brien-ish openness and warmth (glimpsed in the easy silence in which she and Garfield eat their TV dinners side-by-side) that drives home the moral conundrum of this kind of offender rehabilitation. Why? Because to work, it totally relies on her lack of consent. One thing’s for sure: after this and 2010’s sob-fest \u003cem>Never Let Me Go\u003c/em>, Andrew Garfield has a whole generation of film-goers conditioned to start weeping at the mere sight of his big brown eyes. Proceed with caution — and tissues.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Welcome back fellow Abbey-ites. Come in! Episode 5 awaits! Always remember the old refrain: \u003cstrong>Spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. On to our story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A car pulls up to the Abbey and it is Rosamund, greeted only by Cora and a handful of the staff. Oh, how I miss the days of a full house greeting party and the possibility of Thomas tripping Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, No-Longer-First-Footman Molesley arrives with a tray and Rose reads out loud to the family about a nudist colony. Lord, please take us to the nudist colony! (Note: this week in crossover news, \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> did a whole thing based on \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20DF6U1HcGQ\" target=\"_blank\">the new \u003cem>Cinderella\u003c/em> movie\u003c/a> which is starring…Rose as Cinderella! And \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1661199/fullcredits/\" target=\"_blank\">Daisy is one of her evil step sisters\u003c/a>! Let’s all go watch together! Maybe Branson can drive us!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turns out, of course, that Rosamund is visiting specifically to tell Edith that this “farmer’s child” business isn’t fooling anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The action continues in the library where Lord \"Donk\" Crawley discusses a “bash” he is throwing and a trip he is taking and Violet asks Isobel about her romantic proposal. Will it progress into a viral video wedding flash mob dance anytime soon?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it looks like Patmore is becoming a hoity-toity rich lady, basically a Paris Hilton-style heiress, since she was left “a few hundred quid” by an old relative. She asks Carson for investment advice and Hughes is like, hey, I love him, but Carson is waaay out of the loop in terms of money stuff, ask someone else (he probably lost their entire life savings in a Ponzi scheme). Of course, Carson is bummed, but Hughes is always right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Rosamund’s room, Rosamund promises not to eat Edith over the whole Marigold situation. In fact, she wants to see the baby since she’s heard she’s sooo cute. At least Edith has an ally now in her battle against the Baby Watcher’s Wife. Or does she…?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the sergeant is coming back and this time he’s coming for Anna and Mary. Get your stories straight, ladies. The Downton Feminist Society needs you to remain united!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Doctor’s office, Meddling Violet is trying to get the Doctor to do something about Isobel’s potential super-high-class marriage by convincing him that Isobel has been brainwashed into an aristocrat. The Doctor, smart and admirable as always says: “Are you saying that you liked her better when she was more middle class? Do you perhaps resent the idea of a change of position for Mrs. Crawley?” You know what I think the problem is? That and also Violet doesn’t want to lose her only friend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, Edith the Stalker has brought Rosamund to view the random baby she has no connection to (I swear; stop asking)! Edith’s maternal pull is always just barely below the surface, but Rosamund completely blows her cover when she says: “Goodbye, dear. Remember your…[most pregnant pause of all time ever]…remember your \u003cem>friend\u003c/em>, Rosamund.” Marigold starts crying because her aunt is so terrible at subtlety!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs hall, Carson and Mrs. Hughes a.k.a. Ross and Rachel have a philosophical discussion about their place in society as members of the service class. Molesley interrupts, as usual, with bad news about the over-zealous police, back again to interrogate the ladies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Anna and Mary do not take a minute to make sure they are both telling the cops the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the rainy village, Tom is (hopefully please please please) breaking up with the School Teacher. “You mean I’ve made it them or me?” she asks. Wait, was the School Teacher in a dissociative state every time she came to dinner? Like, it was a psychic break that caused her to be so obnoxious and then she immediately forgot about it? Anyway, Tom is over this relationship. He’s going to change things from the inside! He can’t be seen with these idealistic hippies, traipsing around in bare feet with flowers in their hair!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary is being grilled by the \u003cem>Law & Order: Semi-Suspicious Deaths in London \u003c/em>team. She’s a good liar but horrible at telling the truth, which means Anna is definitely going down for this crime she didn’t commit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet's, the Old Ladies Club does a puzzle while quipping about old age, boys, Russians and servants. Violet, heartless as usual, is a bit too gleeful about the discovery that her Prince’s wife is doing menial nursing work in Hong Kong. Taking pleasure in the pain of others: is that written somewhere on the Grantham Family Crest?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the library, the Head Detective tells Anna to not even\u003cem> think\u003c/em> about fleeing to Switzerland. He has his eye on her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Donk is looking for some contractors, a job he is guaranteed to mess up, but it’s not just him on the line this time because Carson, now trying super hard to know about investing, perks up when he says: “Of course, we should all be putting money into building. Fortunes will be made over the next few years.” Step away, Carson! Remember, Donk has a terrible track record with investing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Russian’s town, it’s raining again and Poor My-Hands-Are-Full Roserella is rescued by a Prince Charming with an Umbrella. She invites him to tea and they flirt over the idea of Russians and how cute Roserella is running around in the rain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Carson passes off everything he heard from Donk to Patmore, like he’s a Chuck Schwab employee. Ugh, Carson. Please do not lose all of Patmore’s money!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The School Teacher shows up. Apparently she’s quitting because Tom broke up with her. Oh, come on, girl! Have some self respect!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Thomas Who Once Wanted Friends evilly pumps Hughes for information on the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> episode filming upstairs. It’s hard for him to be menacing because he’s so pale he looks like he might die at any moment. But still, he’s committed to his one mode and he does it well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk and the Lady’s room, it becomes clear that the Art Guy is going to come for a visit while Donk is away. Will the Art Guy finally burst?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some mystical portal between upstairs and down, Daisy hails Branson to the threshold and begs him to reconsider the School Teacher (ugh no).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Roserella talks about her new love interest, Atticus. He doesn’t need a nickname; Atticus is great. Apparently, he’s the son of a Lord so no more jazz singers (thank god for Donk's sake).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas gets whiter and whiter. He will be passing out at any moment, while the swells debate the merits of cocktail parties. The conversation turns didactic as Isobel gives a lecture on manners and customs of the Native Aristocrats and Edith gives a passionate plea for a deeper appreciation of non-cocktail party things (babies named Marigold).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the newest chapter of the Downton Feminist Society, Patmore and Hughes, meet for the first time to discuss the internalized patriarchy that forced Patmore to ask Carson where to invest her money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Branson walk up the stairs together to romantic music and Tom says: “I’m on the brink of a decision.” Please say it’s the decision to sweep Mary off her feet!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a garden, Violet grills Rosamund like \u003cem>she’s\u003c/em> a \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> detective. Rosamund buckles almost immediately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, Edith is fully out of control. The Baby Watcher is like, dude, you need to tone it down some or my crazy wife is going to make us leave the village!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, The Fancy Suitor and the Doctor try to win over Isobel with their knowledge of goiters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses talk about the murder, which Bates did and Anna is about to go to jail forever for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, once again it is raining and Tom appears on the verge of doing something lame and romantic. The School Teacher tells him she’s “loved him.” Woo, girl, this is not \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. You don’t have to fabricate emotions because something seemingly romantic is happening. Tom kisses the Teacher, but she leaves anyway, thank god. Do not text her, Tom. Let it go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, the Art Guy arrives as Donk in his fancy uniform leaves for Sheffield. Time for some explosions! Cora is already giving him sexy sidelong glances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Russian’s basement, Atticus is back to see Roserella. The Russians seem especially bitter today, especially when they find out that Atticus is actually a Russian Jew (shout out to my people!). So yeah, Roserella is about to get romantic with a Jew! Sure, he’s no jazz singer, but you can bet Donk will be at least mildly scandalized (he’s probably forgotten that Cora is half Jewish by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner in London, Blake has set Mary up on a three-way blind date with him and That Girl Tony Jilted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Evil Thomas is dying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, it looks like Blake is trying to get That Girl Tony Jilted to take him back so Mary is free to Sex Vacation elsewhere. Hypothesis: Blake is an \u003cem>American Psycho\u003c/em>-style sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, everyone mingles post-dinner and replays the various plot points of the episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Violet and Rosamund have a new plan to destroy Edith’s life, which is take Marigold to France. Dear Edith: Do something! Free Marigold!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter finally tells Molesley about the circumstances of her heist, which make her an okay alright person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs office, the Feminist Society tells Carson that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, but in a very gentle, non-disruptive way. Later, they will burn their bras, privately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Art Guy skulks through the hall to Cora’s room and Donk arrives home. Cora asks the Art Guy to leave, but he won’t. Donk ascends the stairs. The Art Guy tells Cora he’s the only one who cares about her. Donk opens the door. He’s not happy at the scene before him. The Art Guy has some panache, it turns out, and, on his way out, says: “When you chose to ignore a woman like Cora, you must have known that not every man would be as blind as you!” Donk is basically an animal so predictably he goes hard at the Art Guy, a punch and then some grappling as Cora yells: “Stop!” Then Edith comes to the door and everyone freezes. It’s very disconcerting, but I guess that’s because I’m not British? Donk lets the Art Guy go and then goes to sleep in his own room in an attempt to slut shame Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas and the Bateses act mysterious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A rug is rolled, flowers are set out, the Art Guy leaves and everyone gets ready for a cocktail party. Cora looks sadly out the window of her gilded cage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now, the cocktail party! People mingle and Donk gives Cora the silent treatment. For some reason (she’s senile?), Violet starts talking about Marigold to Edith at this very public event and how the only option is to not be her mom. Seems like a conversation better kept for a time more private with less alcohol, but who am I to say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Book Worm Daisy cannot be stopped by the departure of the School Teacher. She’s interrupted by Edith wanting to use the phone. She’s calling London. Why? Find out next week on \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. The Fancy Suitor: \u003c/strong>Don't underestimate this guy! He knows goiters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Atticus: \u003c/strong>Roserella's newest love interest is a Russian Jew! We're probably related!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Branson: \u003c/strong>Way to drop the zero. Time to get with the hero (Mary).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Patmore: \u003c/strong>You're a feminist now. What you had is what we call a \"feminist awakening.\" Congrats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Edith: \u003c/strong>Call London! Take your baby back!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week's episode was all about the baby mama drama (oh, and someone got punched in the face). Read all about it!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome back fellow Abbey-ites. Come in! Episode 5 awaits! Always remember the old refrain: \u003cstrong>Spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. On to our story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A car pulls up to the Abbey and it is Rosamund, greeted only by Cora and a handful of the staff. Oh, how I miss the days of a full house greeting party and the possibility of Thomas tripping Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, No-Longer-First-Footman Molesley arrives with a tray and Rose reads out loud to the family about a nudist colony. Lord, please take us to the nudist colony! (Note: this week in crossover news, \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> did a whole thing based on \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20DF6U1HcGQ\" target=\"_blank\">the new \u003cem>Cinderella\u003c/em> movie\u003c/a> which is starring…Rose as Cinderella! And \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1661199/fullcredits/\" target=\"_blank\">Daisy is one of her evil step sisters\u003c/a>! Let’s all go watch together! Maybe Branson can drive us!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turns out, of course, that Rosamund is visiting specifically to tell Edith that this “farmer’s child” business isn’t fooling anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The action continues in the library where Lord \"Donk\" Crawley discusses a “bash” he is throwing and a trip he is taking and Violet asks Isobel about her romantic proposal. Will it progress into a viral video wedding flash mob dance anytime soon?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it looks like Patmore is becoming a hoity-toity rich lady, basically a Paris Hilton-style heiress, since she was left “a few hundred quid” by an old relative. She asks Carson for investment advice and Hughes is like, hey, I love him, but Carson is waaay out of the loop in terms of money stuff, ask someone else (he probably lost their entire life savings in a Ponzi scheme). Of course, Carson is bummed, but Hughes is always right.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Rosamund’s room, Rosamund promises not to eat Edith over the whole Marigold situation. In fact, she wants to see the baby since she’s heard she’s sooo cute. At least Edith has an ally now in her battle against the Baby Watcher’s Wife. Or does she…?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the sergeant is coming back and this time he’s coming for Anna and Mary. Get your stories straight, ladies. The Downton Feminist Society needs you to remain united!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Doctor’s office, Meddling Violet is trying to get the Doctor to do something about Isobel’s potential super-high-class marriage by convincing him that Isobel has been brainwashed into an aristocrat. The Doctor, smart and admirable as always says: “Are you saying that you liked her better when she was more middle class? Do you perhaps resent the idea of a change of position for Mrs. Crawley?” You know what I think the problem is? That and also Violet doesn’t want to lose her only friend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, Edith the Stalker has brought Rosamund to view the random baby she has no connection to (I swear; stop asking)! Edith’s maternal pull is always just barely below the surface, but Rosamund completely blows her cover when she says: “Goodbye, dear. Remember your…[most pregnant pause of all time ever]…remember your \u003cem>friend\u003c/em>, Rosamund.” Marigold starts crying because her aunt is so terrible at subtlety!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs hall, Carson and Mrs. Hughes a.k.a. Ross and Rachel have a philosophical discussion about their place in society as members of the service class. Molesley interrupts, as usual, with bad news about the over-zealous police, back again to interrogate the ladies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Anna and Mary do not take a minute to make sure they are both telling the cops the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the rainy village, Tom is (hopefully please please please) breaking up with the School Teacher. “You mean I’ve made it them or me?” she asks. Wait, was the School Teacher in a dissociative state every time she came to dinner? Like, it was a psychic break that caused her to be so obnoxious and then she immediately forgot about it? Anyway, Tom is over this relationship. He’s going to change things from the inside! He can’t be seen with these idealistic hippies, traipsing around in bare feet with flowers in their hair!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary is being grilled by the \u003cem>Law & Order: Semi-Suspicious Deaths in London \u003c/em>team. She’s a good liar but horrible at telling the truth, which means Anna is definitely going down for this crime she didn’t commit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet's, the Old Ladies Club does a puzzle while quipping about old age, boys, Russians and servants. Violet, heartless as usual, is a bit too gleeful about the discovery that her Prince’s wife is doing menial nursing work in Hong Kong. Taking pleasure in the pain of others: is that written somewhere on the Grantham Family Crest?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the library, the Head Detective tells Anna to not even\u003cem> think\u003c/em> about fleeing to Switzerland. He has his eye on her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Donk is looking for some contractors, a job he is guaranteed to mess up, but it’s not just him on the line this time because Carson, now trying super hard to know about investing, perks up when he says: “Of course, we should all be putting money into building. Fortunes will be made over the next few years.” Step away, Carson! Remember, Donk has a terrible track record with investing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Russian’s town, it’s raining again and Poor My-Hands-Are-Full Roserella is rescued by a Prince Charming with an Umbrella. She invites him to tea and they flirt over the idea of Russians and how cute Roserella is running around in the rain.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Carson passes off everything he heard from Donk to Patmore, like he’s a Chuck Schwab employee. Ugh, Carson. Please do not lose all of Patmore’s money!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The School Teacher shows up. Apparently she’s quitting because Tom broke up with her. Oh, come on, girl! Have some self respect!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Thomas Who Once Wanted Friends evilly pumps Hughes for information on the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> episode filming upstairs. It’s hard for him to be menacing because he’s so pale he looks like he might die at any moment. But still, he’s committed to his one mode and he does it well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk and the Lady’s room, it becomes clear that the Art Guy is going to come for a visit while Donk is away. Will the Art Guy finally burst?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some mystical portal between upstairs and down, Daisy hails Branson to the threshold and begs him to reconsider the School Teacher (ugh no).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Roserella talks about her new love interest, Atticus. He doesn’t need a nickname; Atticus is great. Apparently, he’s the son of a Lord so no more jazz singers (thank god for Donk's sake).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas gets whiter and whiter. He will be passing out at any moment, while the swells debate the merits of cocktail parties. The conversation turns didactic as Isobel gives a lecture on manners and customs of the Native Aristocrats and Edith gives a passionate plea for a deeper appreciation of non-cocktail party things (babies named Marigold).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the newest chapter of the Downton Feminist Society, Patmore and Hughes, meet for the first time to discuss the internalized patriarchy that forced Patmore to ask Carson where to invest her money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Branson walk up the stairs together to romantic music and Tom says: “I’m on the brink of a decision.” Please say it’s the decision to sweep Mary off her feet!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a garden, Violet grills Rosamund like \u003cem>she’s\u003c/em> a \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> detective. Rosamund buckles almost immediately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, Edith is fully out of control. The Baby Watcher is like, dude, you need to tone it down some or my crazy wife is going to make us leave the village!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, The Fancy Suitor and the Doctor try to win over Isobel with their knowledge of goiters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses talk about the murder, which Bates did and Anna is about to go to jail forever for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, once again it is raining and Tom appears on the verge of doing something lame and romantic. The School Teacher tells him she’s “loved him.” Woo, girl, this is not \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. You don’t have to fabricate emotions because something seemingly romantic is happening. Tom kisses the Teacher, but she leaves anyway, thank god. Do not text her, Tom. Let it go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, the Art Guy arrives as Donk in his fancy uniform leaves for Sheffield. Time for some explosions! Cora is already giving him sexy sidelong glances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Russian’s basement, Atticus is back to see Roserella. The Russians seem especially bitter today, especially when they find out that Atticus is actually a Russian Jew (shout out to my people!). So yeah, Roserella is about to get romantic with a Jew! Sure, he’s no jazz singer, but you can bet Donk will be at least mildly scandalized (he’s probably forgotten that Cora is half Jewish by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner in London, Blake has set Mary up on a three-way blind date with him and That Girl Tony Jilted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Evil Thomas is dying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, it looks like Blake is trying to get That Girl Tony Jilted to take him back so Mary is free to Sex Vacation elsewhere. Hypothesis: Blake is an \u003cem>American Psycho\u003c/em>-style sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, everyone mingles post-dinner and replays the various plot points of the episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Violet and Rosamund have a new plan to destroy Edith’s life, which is take Marigold to France. Dear Edith: Do something! Free Marigold!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter finally tells Molesley about the circumstances of her heist, which make her an okay alright person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs office, the Feminist Society tells Carson that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, but in a very gentle, non-disruptive way. Later, they will burn their bras, privately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Art Guy skulks through the hall to Cora’s room and Donk arrives home. Cora asks the Art Guy to leave, but he won’t. Donk ascends the stairs. The Art Guy tells Cora he’s the only one who cares about her. Donk opens the door. He’s not happy at the scene before him. The Art Guy has some panache, it turns out, and, on his way out, says: “When you chose to ignore a woman like Cora, you must have known that not every man would be as blind as you!” Donk is basically an animal so predictably he goes hard at the Art Guy, a punch and then some grappling as Cora yells: “Stop!” Then Edith comes to the door and everyone freezes. It’s very disconcerting, but I guess that’s because I’m not British? Donk lets the Art Guy go and then goes to sleep in his own room in an attempt to slut shame Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas and the Bateses act mysterious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A rug is rolled, flowers are set out, the Art Guy leaves and everyone gets ready for a cocktail party. Cora looks sadly out the window of her gilded cage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now, the cocktail party! People mingle and Donk gives Cora the silent treatment. For some reason (she’s senile?), Violet starts talking about Marigold to Edith at this very public event and how the only option is to not be her mom. Seems like a conversation better kept for a time more private with less alcohol, but who am I to say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Book Worm Daisy cannot be stopped by the departure of the School Teacher. She’s interrupted by Edith wanting to use the phone. She’s calling London. Why? Find out next week on \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. The Fancy Suitor: \u003c/strong>Don't underestimate this guy! He knows goiters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Atticus: \u003c/strong>Roserella's newest love interest is a Russian Jew! We're probably related!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Branson: \u003c/strong>Way to drop the zero. Time to get with the hero (Mary).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Patmore: \u003c/strong>You're a feminist now. What you had is what we call a \"feminist awakening.\" Congrats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Edith: \u003c/strong>Call London! Take your baby back!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Is 'Downton Abbey' Really Over? Here's How It Should End",
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"content": "\u003cp>The Internet has been ablaze with \u003ca href=\"http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/downton-abbey-end-year-cast-5061146\">rumors\u003c/a> that \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> will end after its next season. Don't freak out just yet though! No one seems to be able to provide hard evidence to support the theory. But maybe ending \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> wouldn't be such a terrible idea, considering that the show's quality is not what it once was when Sybil was alive and well, showing off her harem pants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This season has had its moments — Edith's accidental act of arson, Mary's sex positive ways, everything Maggie Smith has done or said — but, as a whole, it has felt like a trudge. If this truly is the end, here are some humble suggestions on what should happen to the characters we have grown to love (and the ones we just put up with):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14850 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton-400x232.jpg\" alt=\"edith-jan-brady-downton\" width=\"400\" height=\"232\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton-400x232.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton.jpg 496w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>You might think this show is all about Mary, but you're wrong. The true star is \u003cstrong>Edith\u003c/strong>, patron saint of all misunderstood middle children. I see Edith moving to Germany during the lead up to World War II and infiltrating the Nazi party so that she may exact revenge on whoever killed Michael a.k.a. that dude who knocked her up, didn't marry her, and promptly vanished. Edith decides to prove everyone wrong and change the course of history by assassinating Hitler. She inevitably screws it up because she's Edith and is put into a witness protection program under the pseudonym Jan Brady.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of tragic figures, poor \u003cstrong>Thomas\u003c/strong> has been pigeon-holed as the evil, miserable gay trope for the past five seasons. I see Thomas taking his spoon and drugs and moving to the big city, where he meets Virginia Woolf, while walking around Bloomsbury. She helps him get clean and begs to set him up on a blind date! \"It's not just because you're both gay!\" she promises. He relents and his blind date is no other than E.M. Forster, famed writer and fellow wistful closet case. Thomas' emo-ness cancels out Forster's emo-ness and they live happily ever after.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once in her life, \u003cstrong>Mary\u003c/strong> doesn't get what she wants. She dies from shock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignleft wp-image-14859\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-400x512.jpg\" alt=\"hermione-dowager-downton\" width=\"300\" height=\"384\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-400x512.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-800x1023.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton.jpg 936w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\">\u003c/a>The Dowager Countess\u003c/strong> gets a very late acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She is outraged by the faux pas, but eventually enrolls. She is sorted into all the houses 'cause she's got it like that. While studying for her Transfiguration exam, she accidentally ends up Benjamin Button-ing herself. She begins to age backwards and, decades later, goes by her nickname Hermione so that no one asks questions about why she knows \u003ca href=\"http://hellogiggles.hellogiggles.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/15/Its-Leviosa-not-leviosar-Hermione-Granger-GIF.gif\">how to correctly pronounce Wingardium Leviosa\u003c/a>. She doesn't end up with Ron.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora Crawley\u003c/strong> realizes her marriage sucks and has a meltdown on her bathroom floor before getting a divorce. She rebounds with that art dealer who likes her opinions. That doesn't end well, inspiring her to move to Italy to eat pasta and not have sex, then over to India for a yoga teacher training, and finally ending up in Bali where she gets her groove back. She writes all about the experience, but is too humble to show it to anyone. Her great granddaughter, Elizabeth Gilbert, inherits the manuscript and puts her name on it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Branson\u003c/strong> moves to America and starts a labor union and a soup kitchen and other neat stuff. He gives a really awesome speech at the DNC and becomes a frontrunner for the presidency. Opponents demand to see his birth certificate. He's like, you know what, this isn't worth it. His hair never turns grey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daisy\u003c/strong> inherits her dead husband's farm and fills it with all kinds of math books. She studies her ass off and ends up helping Alan Turing crack Nazi codes, which is later documented in a film called \u003cem>The Imitation Game\u003c/em>. Her scenes are unfortunately left on the cutting room floor because patriarchy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14851 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a-400x212.jpg\" alt=\"thelma-and-louise-downton-a\" width=\"400\" height=\"212\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a-400x212.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a.jpg 755w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>Patmore \u003c/strong>and\u003cstrong> Hughes\u003c/strong> experience a challenging second Saturn return and take to the road. They kill a rapist in a parking lot and rob some stores and put a cop in his own trunk. With the law hot on their trail, they drive their convertible off a cliff and parachute into a hidden valley where they start a super cool women's collective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Anna\u003c/strong> realizes Bates is kind of creepy and dumps him. She parlays her changing-other-people's-clothes-for-them skills into a career as the person who helps pop stars get into their next costume between songs. She eventually inspires Madonna's fake British accent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After he squanders his fortune because he's terrible at everything,\u003cstrong> Lord Grantham\u003c/strong> finds himself alone. Years of ignoring/being rude to the women in his life apparently wasn't a great life strategy. The only one who stands by his side is Isis, the dog. Grantham runs out of dog treats one day and Isis eats him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The End!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>How do you hope things end at Downton? Leave it in the comments! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The Internet has been ablaze with \u003ca href=\"http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/downton-abbey-end-year-cast-5061146\">rumors\u003c/a> that \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> will end after its next season. Don't freak out just yet though! No one seems to be able to provide hard evidence to support the theory. But maybe ending \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> wouldn't be such a terrible idea, considering that the show's quality is not what it once was when Sybil was alive and well, showing off her harem pants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This season has had its moments — Edith's accidental act of arson, Mary's sex positive ways, everything Maggie Smith has done or said — but, as a whole, it has felt like a trudge. If this truly is the end, here are some humble suggestions on what should happen to the characters we have grown to love (and the ones we just put up with):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14850 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton-400x232.jpg\" alt=\"edith-jan-brady-downton\" width=\"400\" height=\"232\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton-400x232.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/edith-jan-brady-downton.jpg 496w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>You might think this show is all about Mary, but you're wrong. The true star is \u003cstrong>Edith\u003c/strong>, patron saint of all misunderstood middle children. I see Edith moving to Germany during the lead up to World War II and infiltrating the Nazi party so that she may exact revenge on whoever killed Michael a.k.a. that dude who knocked her up, didn't marry her, and promptly vanished. Edith decides to prove everyone wrong and change the course of history by assassinating Hitler. She inevitably screws it up because she's Edith and is put into a witness protection program under the pseudonym Jan Brady.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of tragic figures, poor \u003cstrong>Thomas\u003c/strong> has been pigeon-holed as the evil, miserable gay trope for the past five seasons. I see Thomas taking his spoon and drugs and moving to the big city, where he meets Virginia Woolf, while walking around Bloomsbury. She helps him get clean and begs to set him up on a blind date! \"It's not just because you're both gay!\" she promises. He relents and his blind date is no other than E.M. Forster, famed writer and fellow wistful closet case. Thomas' emo-ness cancels out Forster's emo-ness and they live happily ever after.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once in her life, \u003cstrong>Mary\u003c/strong> doesn't get what she wants. She dies from shock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignleft wp-image-14859\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-400x512.jpg\" alt=\"hermione-dowager-downton\" width=\"300\" height=\"384\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-400x512.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton-800x1023.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/hermione-dowager-downton.jpg 936w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\">\u003c/a>The Dowager Countess\u003c/strong> gets a very late acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She is outraged by the faux pas, but eventually enrolls. She is sorted into all the houses 'cause she's got it like that. While studying for her Transfiguration exam, she accidentally ends up Benjamin Button-ing herself. She begins to age backwards and, decades later, goes by her nickname Hermione so that no one asks questions about why she knows \u003ca href=\"http://hellogiggles.hellogiggles.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/15/Its-Leviosa-not-leviosar-Hermione-Granger-GIF.gif\">how to correctly pronounce Wingardium Leviosa\u003c/a>. She doesn't end up with Ron.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora Crawley\u003c/strong> realizes her marriage sucks and has a meltdown on her bathroom floor before getting a divorce. She rebounds with that art dealer who likes her opinions. That doesn't end well, inspiring her to move to Italy to eat pasta and not have sex, then over to India for a yoga teacher training, and finally ending up in Bali where she gets her groove back. She writes all about the experience, but is too humble to show it to anyone. Her great granddaughter, Elizabeth Gilbert, inherits the manuscript and puts her name on it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Branson\u003c/strong> moves to America and starts a labor union and a soup kitchen and other neat stuff. He gives a really awesome speech at the DNC and becomes a frontrunner for the presidency. Opponents demand to see his birth certificate. He's like, you know what, this isn't worth it. His hair never turns grey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daisy\u003c/strong> inherits her dead husband's farm and fills it with all kinds of math books. She studies her ass off and ends up helping Alan Turing crack Nazi codes, which is later documented in a film called \u003cem>The Imitation Game\u003c/em>. Her scenes are unfortunately left on the cutting room floor because patriarchy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14851 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a-400x212.jpg\" alt=\"thelma-and-louise-downton-a\" width=\"400\" height=\"212\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a-400x212.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/thelma-and-louise-downton-a.jpg 755w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>Patmore \u003c/strong>and\u003cstrong> Hughes\u003c/strong> experience a challenging second Saturn return and take to the road. They kill a rapist in a parking lot and rob some stores and put a cop in his own trunk. With the law hot on their trail, they drive their convertible off a cliff and parachute into a hidden valley where they start a super cool women's collective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Anna\u003c/strong> realizes Bates is kind of creepy and dumps him. She parlays her changing-other-people's-clothes-for-them skills into a career as the person who helps pop stars get into their next costume between songs. She eventually inspires Madonna's fake British accent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After he squanders his fortune because he's terrible at everything,\u003cstrong> Lord Grantham\u003c/strong> finds himself alone. Years of ignoring/being rude to the women in his life apparently wasn't a great life strategy. The only one who stands by his side is Isis, the dog. Grantham runs out of dog treats one day and Isis eats him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The End!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>How do you hope things end at Downton? Leave it in the comments! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do",
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"content": "\u003cp>A petal falls from a rose and funny-looking brush dusts a light fixture and it's Sunday and we're back at Downton Abbey! Remember, for now and for always: \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas menacingly returns to Downton from his mysterious trip.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the family is gathered around the breakfast table. Brary (I’m trying out couple nicknames for Branson and Mary…Manson?) are trying to get Lord \"Donk\" Crawley to agree to build ugly houses on a field and Rose’s long-lost father is apparently back from whichever colony he’d gone off to. Because he hasn’t complained for two whole breaths, Donk jumps in to remind everyone that Tom is a socialist. His future-wife Mary nobly comes to his aid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the field in question, Donk keeps acting like an angry old man about these ugly houses. Oh wait, he\u003cem> is\u003c/em> an angry old man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The old ladies travel to another town to see the Russians in a sad church basement. Really, they are coming for the Prince, obviously. Violet, so forward! I thought you were all about having the man pursue you! I thought you were \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules\" target=\"_blank\">a \u003cem>Rules \u003c/em>girl!\u003c/a> The Prince seems cool with it though, as he speaks romantically about how sad his life is in his sexy Russian accent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, First Footman Molesley is flummoxed by silver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the church basement, Violet tells the sad Prince: “Hope is a tease, designed to prevent us accepting reality.” #ExistentialistViolet\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Donk and Mary discuss Rose’s dad Shrimpy’s impending likely divorce. So glad Shrimpy is back because his name! And scandalous divorce! Watch out, Donk, Cora might get ideas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses pretend to each other that they both don’t know who murdered the Rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Violet’s drawing room, the Old Ladies Club meets to discuss boyz boyz boyz, specifically how Violet had, at the very least, an emotional affair with the Prince, to which her husband was like, babe, come on, let’s stay together for the kids!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore is getting pissed at Bookish Daisy for reading so many goddamn books (#KidsTheseDays) and Thomas is stealing spoons (#DidHeJustDevelopADrugHabitOnVacation).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Isobel’s house, her Fancy Suitor shows up to the sounds of goofball music. He seems really nervous, which you can tell because of the way he takes off his hat and the afore-mentioned music. Nervous because he’s about to propose to Isobel to the now romantic music. His proposal turns out to be pretty great, so great that, even though Isobel is incapable of love after the loss of her entire family, he makes a sort of compelling case, plus he’s got those fancy gardens and the big house. Isobel’s no dummy so she says she’ll think it over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Angry Donk has another bee in his hairpiece bonnet: the Art Guy is coming back for another visit. In a corner, Edith mopes over Marigold. Everyone pretends to care about Edith for about half a second and then they remember they don’t even care enough to pretend to care. Manson looks attractive in another corner and tries very passively to convince Donk to put the ugly houses on the field.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, horrible sounds come from a room containing Thomas. Baxter the Angel tries to help him, but it appears he is going down the dark path of drug abuse. #NewPlotLineAlert #WillHeGetAnEmmy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary lies to Anna and says she’s “dreading” breaking up with Tony. Seriously, Mary, we all know your greatest happiness comes from making other people incredibly sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nannies parade Babies Sybbie and George through the hall for their required 12 seconds of screen time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, the Old Ladies Tea Club meets and boyz are once again on the agenda. This time, Isobel talks about the Fancy Suitor and admits she is going to think about his super romantic, now viral, proposal video. #WhereWasTheFlashMob\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith has heard a development about Michael and his attackers in Germany, who are going on trial. She cries and, in a surprise move, Donk doesn’t laugh in her face or tell her to shut the hell up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a fashion show in London, Rosamund grills Mary for intel on Edith. Oh, Rosamund, Mary doesn’t even know for sure where Edith lives anymore! And anyway, Mary sees Blake, the Pig Guy and the One She Will Probably Choose. Mary does her best impression of a human smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Edith stalks Marigold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, for some reason, Anna has decided to take a note from Mary to Tony herself. A dangerous looking man sneakily watches her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fashion show, Blake brings the girl who Tony jilted to meet Mary. Oh, Blake, that's dark! I like your style! Maybe you \u003cem>are\u003c/em> better choice! Mary decides to go to dinner with him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some square in London, Anna wears all black and is now obviously being followed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At home, Marigold is also being followed. By her mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson and Hughes are trolling Molesley by assigning him lots of tasks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, Edith is about to get a restraining order put out on her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk and Carson look on as Patmore gives a rousing speech on PTSD and how her nephew is just as much a casualty of war as anyone. #SupportOurTroops Patmore leaves and Cora comes in so Donk can grumble misogynistically and obnoxiously at her about the Art Guy’s impending arrival.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson continues to prank Molesley by giving him more and more work. Carson, you are such\u003cem> \u003c/em>a scamp!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Mary and Blake bond over their unbreakable hearts, Blake in a stoic way and Mary in a I-don’t-actually-have-a-heart kind of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Violet has zero sympathy for Edith. Rather, she’s interested in finding her Prince’s wife, with Shrimpy’s help. So interested that she tells Shrimpy she won’t take sides in his divorce situation because “she doesn’t take sides” (read: there is something she wants out of him).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also in attendance in the drawing room: the rest of the upstairs cast and the Art Guy. They gather to discuss inviting the School Teacher to dinner, hopefully to teach Donk some kind of lesson.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Shrimpy and Donk talk man stuff. #LadiesAmmiright\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter and Thomas have a whole conversation about Thomas’ new “treatment” without ever facing each other. Is this a British custom?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Shrimpy tells Rose he and her mommy are getting a divorce, but that they do love her soooo much! Rose seems pretty okay with it and then, typical Rose, turns the conversation back to herself and her romantic prospects. Your dad needs someone to \u003cem>listen\u003c/em> right now, Rose!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora and the Art Guy talk about “art” and by “art” I mean how beautiful Cora is and how she’s going to make him “burst.” #SlightlySuggestive\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Mary is in the midst of breaking up with Tony, which IMO she should have done via text because now he’s saying things like, “Am I a bad lover?” and “Well, I refuse to accept it!” Oh no, not this old song and dance…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley the Wimp gives up his title because, as usual, the trolls win and also he hates work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, you can tell the show is drawing to a close because the School Teacher shows up with her political rhetoric, saying to Tom, “I can’t bear for you to waste your life propping up a system that’s dying!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the sneaky music plays as Baxter reads Thomas’ magazine and figures out his secret (he's treating himself for his man-loving tendencies?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the dinner table, Cora’s body language toward the Art Guy is almost more obscene than Jimmy’s Old Boss’s was the night she overtly sexually harassed Jimmy, or at least that’s what Violet’s dagger eyes are saying from across the table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The table talk turns to the School Teacher, of course, and it comes out that Donk doesn't know Daisy's name!!! OMG, Donk! Mary comes to his rescue, but another fight gets underway. Now they have decided to bring Daisy and Patmore up from the bowels of the house to tell them who is better, Donk or Teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Bateses flirt in Mary’s room until Anna resumes her role as the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/serial/\" target=\"_blank\">Sarah Koenig\u003c/a> of Downton and tries to get to the bottom of Adnan's...I mean, Bates’ timeline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Daisy and Patmore are brought up for their humiliation so Donk and/or the Teacher can prove some sort of point. Is that point that they are both jerks? Their point is proven in spades when the Teacher just insults Donk for the heck of it and then Fragile Donk has a meltdown in front of his family and tells her never to come back. Hey, guys? Neither of you is super great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the servants are all in a flutter over the Big Fight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the bedroom, Donk takes his rage out on Cora, per usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall on the way to the bedrooms, Manson flirt with each other in a fun, sexy, familial way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy inspires Patmore to stand up against the Man and write a letter about PTSD. #HeartsAndMinds\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also downstairs, the cops are back and apparently this Rapist Murder is the Case of the Century because there is a plainclothes officer watching Tony’s house. Round-the-clock surveillance seems a bit overboard for a cold case that involves one jackass valet. Now apparently Anna is a suspect. Grrreat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Shrimpy has found the Prince’s wife in Hong Kong and Violet is sort of glad, but also calls her a prostitute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk through the grounds, Manson and Donk discuss last night’s meltdown and the Political School Teacher. Isis, the dog, says nothing. As the music swells, Donk explains why he hates the ugly houses and is actually an environmentalist and will find a green building company that will build locally-sourced homes. Suddenly, due to the music and his monologue-ing, he is a hero saying: “We will build. We’ll even make money for the estate. But we won’t destroy what people love about this place.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They all pose as if for a picture and credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Blake: \u003c/strong>I like your sly moves, dude! After Tony’s freak out on Mary, I am definitely on #TeamBlake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Tom: \u003c/strong>I’m kidding about that #TeamBlake stuff because obviously I am actually #TeamManson. You guys look so cute together! And think how sad you would make Edith and how angry you would make Donk!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Violet:\u003c/strong> For calling a former Russian princess a prostitute. Kudos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> Your wife was awful. Time to head back to a tropical colony and get your groove back, girl!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. The Fancy Suitor:\u003c/strong> I really liked your proposal!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week's episode was like Fleetwood Mac in the '70s: breakups, drugs, and dinner table tantrums. Read all about it!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>A petal falls from a rose and funny-looking brush dusts a light fixture and it's Sunday and we're back at Downton Abbey! Remember, for now and for always: \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas menacingly returns to Downton from his mysterious trip.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the family is gathered around the breakfast table. Brary (I’m trying out couple nicknames for Branson and Mary…Manson?) are trying to get Lord \"Donk\" Crawley to agree to build ugly houses on a field and Rose’s long-lost father is apparently back from whichever colony he’d gone off to. Because he hasn’t complained for two whole breaths, Donk jumps in to remind everyone that Tom is a socialist. His future-wife Mary nobly comes to his aid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the field in question, Donk keeps acting like an angry old man about these ugly houses. Oh wait, he\u003cem> is\u003c/em> an angry old man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The old ladies travel to another town to see the Russians in a sad church basement. Really, they are coming for the Prince, obviously. Violet, so forward! I thought you were all about having the man pursue you! I thought you were \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules\" target=\"_blank\">a \u003cem>Rules \u003c/em>girl!\u003c/a> The Prince seems cool with it though, as he speaks romantically about how sad his life is in his sexy Russian accent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, First Footman Molesley is flummoxed by silver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the church basement, Violet tells the sad Prince: “Hope is a tease, designed to prevent us accepting reality.” #ExistentialistViolet\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Donk and Mary discuss Rose’s dad Shrimpy’s impending likely divorce. So glad Shrimpy is back because his name! And scandalous divorce! Watch out, Donk, Cora might get ideas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses pretend to each other that they both don’t know who murdered the Rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Violet’s drawing room, the Old Ladies Club meets to discuss boyz boyz boyz, specifically how Violet had, at the very least, an emotional affair with the Prince, to which her husband was like, babe, come on, let’s stay together for the kids!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore is getting pissed at Bookish Daisy for reading so many goddamn books (#KidsTheseDays) and Thomas is stealing spoons (#DidHeJustDevelopADrugHabitOnVacation).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Isobel’s house, her Fancy Suitor shows up to the sounds of goofball music. He seems really nervous, which you can tell because of the way he takes off his hat and the afore-mentioned music. Nervous because he’s about to propose to Isobel to the now romantic music. His proposal turns out to be pretty great, so great that, even though Isobel is incapable of love after the loss of her entire family, he makes a sort of compelling case, plus he’s got those fancy gardens and the big house. Isobel’s no dummy so she says she’ll think it over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Angry Donk has another bee in his hairpiece bonnet: the Art Guy is coming back for another visit. In a corner, Edith mopes over Marigold. Everyone pretends to care about Edith for about half a second and then they remember they don’t even care enough to pretend to care. Manson looks attractive in another corner and tries very passively to convince Donk to put the ugly houses on the field.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, horrible sounds come from a room containing Thomas. Baxter the Angel tries to help him, but it appears he is going down the dark path of drug abuse. #NewPlotLineAlert #WillHeGetAnEmmy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary lies to Anna and says she’s “dreading” breaking up with Tony. Seriously, Mary, we all know your greatest happiness comes from making other people incredibly sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nannies parade Babies Sybbie and George through the hall for their required 12 seconds of screen time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, the Old Ladies Tea Club meets and boyz are once again on the agenda. This time, Isobel talks about the Fancy Suitor and admits she is going to think about his super romantic, now viral, proposal video. #WhereWasTheFlashMob\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith has heard a development about Michael and his attackers in Germany, who are going on trial. She cries and, in a surprise move, Donk doesn’t laugh in her face or tell her to shut the hell up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a fashion show in London, Rosamund grills Mary for intel on Edith. Oh, Rosamund, Mary doesn’t even know for sure where Edith lives anymore! And anyway, Mary sees Blake, the Pig Guy and the One She Will Probably Choose. Mary does her best impression of a human smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Edith stalks Marigold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, for some reason, Anna has decided to take a note from Mary to Tony herself. A dangerous looking man sneakily watches her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fashion show, Blake brings the girl who Tony jilted to meet Mary. Oh, Blake, that's dark! I like your style! Maybe you \u003cem>are\u003c/em> better choice! Mary decides to go to dinner with him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At some square in London, Anna wears all black and is now obviously being followed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At home, Marigold is also being followed. By her mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson and Hughes are trolling Molesley by assigning him lots of tasks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, Edith is about to get a restraining order put out on her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk and Carson look on as Patmore gives a rousing speech on PTSD and how her nephew is just as much a casualty of war as anyone. #SupportOurTroops Patmore leaves and Cora comes in so Donk can grumble misogynistically and obnoxiously at her about the Art Guy’s impending arrival.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson continues to prank Molesley by giving him more and more work. Carson, you are such\u003cem> \u003c/em>a scamp!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Mary and Blake bond over their unbreakable hearts, Blake in a stoic way and Mary in a I-don’t-actually-have-a-heart kind of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Violet has zero sympathy for Edith. Rather, she’s interested in finding her Prince’s wife, with Shrimpy’s help. So interested that she tells Shrimpy she won’t take sides in his divorce situation because “she doesn’t take sides” (read: there is something she wants out of him).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also in attendance in the drawing room: the rest of the upstairs cast and the Art Guy. They gather to discuss inviting the School Teacher to dinner, hopefully to teach Donk some kind of lesson.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Shrimpy and Donk talk man stuff. #LadiesAmmiright\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter and Thomas have a whole conversation about Thomas’ new “treatment” without ever facing each other. Is this a British custom?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Shrimpy tells Rose he and her mommy are getting a divorce, but that they do love her soooo much! Rose seems pretty okay with it and then, typical Rose, turns the conversation back to herself and her romantic prospects. Your dad needs someone to \u003cem>listen\u003c/em> right now, Rose!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora and the Art Guy talk about “art” and by “art” I mean how beautiful Cora is and how she’s going to make him “burst.” #SlightlySuggestive\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Mary is in the midst of breaking up with Tony, which IMO she should have done via text because now he’s saying things like, “Am I a bad lover?” and “Well, I refuse to accept it!” Oh no, not this old song and dance…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley the Wimp gives up his title because, as usual, the trolls win and also he hates work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, you can tell the show is drawing to a close because the School Teacher shows up with her political rhetoric, saying to Tom, “I can’t bear for you to waste your life propping up a system that’s dying!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the sneaky music plays as Baxter reads Thomas’ magazine and figures out his secret (he's treating himself for his man-loving tendencies?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the dinner table, Cora’s body language toward the Art Guy is almost more obscene than Jimmy’s Old Boss’s was the night she overtly sexually harassed Jimmy, or at least that’s what Violet’s dagger eyes are saying from across the table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The table talk turns to the School Teacher, of course, and it comes out that Donk doesn't know Daisy's name!!! OMG, Donk! Mary comes to his rescue, but another fight gets underway. Now they have decided to bring Daisy and Patmore up from the bowels of the house to tell them who is better, Donk or Teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Bateses flirt in Mary’s room until Anna resumes her role as the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/serial/\" target=\"_blank\">Sarah Koenig\u003c/a> of Downton and tries to get to the bottom of Adnan's...I mean, Bates’ timeline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Daisy and Patmore are brought up for their humiliation so Donk and/or the Teacher can prove some sort of point. Is that point that they are both jerks? Their point is proven in spades when the Teacher just insults Donk for the heck of it and then Fragile Donk has a meltdown in front of his family and tells her never to come back. Hey, guys? Neither of you is super great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the servants are all in a flutter over the Big Fight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the bedroom, Donk takes his rage out on Cora, per usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall on the way to the bedrooms, Manson flirt with each other in a fun, sexy, familial way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy inspires Patmore to stand up against the Man and write a letter about PTSD. #HeartsAndMinds\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also downstairs, the cops are back and apparently this Rapist Murder is the Case of the Century because there is a plainclothes officer watching Tony’s house. Round-the-clock surveillance seems a bit overboard for a cold case that involves one jackass valet. Now apparently Anna is a suspect. Grrreat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Shrimpy has found the Prince’s wife in Hong Kong and Violet is sort of glad, but also calls her a prostitute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk through the grounds, Manson and Donk discuss last night’s meltdown and the Political School Teacher. Isis, the dog, says nothing. As the music swells, Donk explains why he hates the ugly houses and is actually an environmentalist and will find a green building company that will build locally-sourced homes. Suddenly, due to the music and his monologue-ing, he is a hero saying: “We will build. We’ll even make money for the estate. But we won’t destroy what people love about this place.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They all pose as if for a picture and credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Blake: \u003c/strong>I like your sly moves, dude! After Tony’s freak out on Mary, I am definitely on #TeamBlake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Tom: \u003c/strong>I’m kidding about that #TeamBlake stuff because obviously I am actually #TeamManson. You guys look so cute together! And think how sad you would make Edith and how angry you would make Donk!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Violet:\u003c/strong> For calling a former Russian princess a prostitute. Kudos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> Your wife was awful. Time to head back to a tropical colony and get your groove back, girl!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. The Fancy Suitor:\u003c/strong> I really liked your proposal!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Welcome, friends, to your weekly visit to the Abbey. (\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">Miss the last episode? Read all about it!\u003c/a>) I hear a telephone ringing in the distance. Should we answer? Remember, \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>. To the recap!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Liverpool, Mary and Tony are deep into their Sex Vacation. They are being so modern that Mary tells the help she “can manage” her own breakfast tray. Heavens! She really is a new, modern woman. Oh, wait, she’s not that modern: “I’ve been tarnished once,” she tells Tony when he suggests it won’t be the end of the world if they are seen together in public, “and I won’t be tarnished again.” The Pirate kisses her and departs to his connected room for his breakfast tray and Mary looks off into the distance, troubled. Is she thinking about Sir Charles Blake a.k.a. that dude she mud wrestled with?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy can’t shut up about how great she is at math now, which means she misses Patmore’s dramatic emoting over her mail. \u003cem>Beginner’s Downton Tip:\u003c/em> All important plots involve mail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the breakfast room, Cora is all dolled up, probably for the Art Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas is speaking his lines in monotone as a protest against his one-dimensional character. He’s up to no good, obviously, and it’s not mail-related but telephone call-related. Time and technology march on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Liverpool, Mary leaves the Sex Vacation telling Tony, “We’ll talk soon.” Oh, wow. Cold. Next thing you know she’s sending him a text message saying, “You’re really great! It’s not you, it’s me! Timing is just really bad right now! :)”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From across the street, the Dowager Countess' Generic Butler spots them as they are leaving the hotel. Oooooh. There you go. He's going to blow this Sex Vacation secret wide open! \u003cem>Another\u003c/em> \u003cem>Beginner’s Downton Tip: If there is a secret, a minimum of two people will discover it almost immediately. Julian Fellows cannot stand a secret to remain secret for longer than one scene.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s house, Violet is mean girling Isobel as hard as she can: “Oh, what is the latest from your aging Romeo?” she asks. To explain what just happened in the last scene, Isobel asks where her butler Sprat is (he didn’t open the door!) and Violet says he’s in Liverpool.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson engages with the kindly police man who is definitely about to take Downton down re: the Bates keeps murdering people situation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith pulls a very Mary-like sneak attack on Mary and says, “Where are [your sketches] anyway? Can’t we see them?” Luckily, no one ever listens to Edith so no one notices. Also, they are too busy listening to Old Man Donk yell about a new thing he just discovered he hates: “I won’t have 50 ugly modern houses built over a field of mine!” Babies George and Sibby are brought into the library to make Edith sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Rachel (Hughes) lies to Ross (Carson) about Anna’s Rapist. Oh no! They should totally be telling each other everything! Alone, they are fingers, but together they make a fist!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Patmore pulls Hughes into a room and explains that this war memorial plot isn’t going away any time soon and she wants her deserter nephew’s name on the Downton memorial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, her Generic Butler gets super coy with his gossip, but only holds on to it for all of 20 seconds before spilling the beans that Mary was in Liverpool having sex. Violet lies her face off to Generic Butler to keep Mary untarnished for as long as possible. Good luck with that, Dowager.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna and Hughes think about starting \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/serial/\" target=\"_blank\">a weekly serialized podcast to find out the truth about where Bates was during those 15 minutes after school\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Cora sets up a trip to London with the Art Guy, which Donk conveniently cannot attend. Mary gets a phone call from her grandmother because she’s in big trouble, and Rose is getting ready to bring her Russian refugees, who are actually like deposed royalty, to Downton. Rose, such a humanitarian!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the dinner table, Thomas the Liar lies about his phone calls and pretends they are all about his sick father. As if Thomas has a father and wasn’t just hatched full grown from an evil egg! Anna whispers to Bates something about running away and Daisy stops to talk about how she’s thinking of becoming a physicist now that she’s sooooo good at math and Patmore yells: “That’s enough, Daisy! Come and carry the spotted dick!” (Sorry. That wasn’t that important; I just really wanted to type “spotted dick”).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora demands answers from Baxter the Honest and Noble Thief. Baxter leaves and Cora starts speaking romantically about the war and a time when she felt useful. She’s clearly trying to communicate with Donk about how she wants to be at least a little involved in things, but he doesn't think it's a woman's place to ask questions or know information or do things. When she asks him about the 50 ugly modern houses, he says: “Nothing to trouble you with.” You know who I bet is about to allow Cora to \"trouble with\" things? The Art Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary pawns the prophylactic off on Anna. Um, why not just throw it away if it’s so dangerous? I’ll tell you why: the plot! Anna suggests that helping Mary have premarital sex is causing her to be punished by God, who is now running the police investigation of the Rapist’s death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Bates interrogates Anna about the prophylactic, which is now in her pocket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson and Hughes argue about Patmore's deserter nephew. Ugh, these two. On again off again on again off again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Baxter and Molesley talk about how Baxter can deal with the ultimatum from Cora regarding the circumstances of her great jewel heist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the turmoil in the Carson/Hughes relationship ripples, causing confusion and sadness among the staff (Patmore runs off in tears, while Daisy can’t decide what they are trying to say about whether she can or cannot take an exam).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Donk says he’s planning on heading to London to surprise Cora. You know that’s not going to end well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the policeman is back and apparently now knows who Bates is. Maybe he showed up on a list of Known-Criminals in the Abbey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Mary is completely caught re: her Sex Vacation and so must sit through a lecture from her Granny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Baxter the Angel finally admits the cause of her thievery. She was basically in an abusive relationship and tricked into it. Obviously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of criminals, downstairs, Bates gets interrogated by the policeman. Bates doesn’t seem worried about this. Sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Cora gazes at art and the Art Guy gazes at her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s house, Edith has apparently kidnapped Marigold, as would anyone. Well, okay, she hasn’t actually kidnapped Marigold, she’s just taken her to see some chickens, but the Baby Watcher’s Wife is not impressed. Seriously, just tell this lady Marigold is the fruit of Edith’s loins! One theme of this episode: keeping unimportant secrets from your significant other (and yes, I'm including Hughes and Carson here, as well as Anna and Bates).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, there's more phone news: for some reason, Cora can’t get through to Rosamund to tell her she’s about to have a tarnishing dinner with the Art Guy. The Art Guy is laying it on thick, complimenting Cora’s outfit and telling her she “has an instinct” for art. Yeah, buddy, we all know \u003cem>exactly\u003c/em> what it sounds like when an art guy is trying to get into a pretty lady’s underthings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Mary discuss the Bates Murder Timeline. Yes, he visited a shoe shop right before it opened, but what about Best Buy? And was there a pay phone there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the streets of London, Cora admits that she’s Jewish to the Art Guy. Did we know this already? She tells her origin story, which is basically \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zplc4Ienkws\" target=\"_blank\">the plot from the song “Fancy”\u003c/a> except that, instead of an impoverished Southern shack, Cora came from an upper middle class Jewish family in New York and, instead of a sugar daddy-type john, Cora got Donk. The Art Guy puts the moves on Cora as passively as humanly possible and she gently rebuffs him in a classy lady way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When she gets backs to Rosamund’s, Donk is there in a suit and he’s not stoked because: “I traveled to London in order to give my wife a treat, only to find she’s out dining with another man.” Oh geeeeeez. He then goes on to tell Cora that the Art Guy couldn’t possibly care about her stupid female opinions. Yes, okay, maybe you’re a teeny tiny bit right, Donk, but you are also a stupid jerk. I hope Cora leaves you for the Art Guy. I hope Isis, the dog, leaves you for the Art Guy too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of stupid jerks, back at Downton, Mary throws in an unnecessary jab at Edith when Branson asks if Edith seems a bit distracted to her: “I’m not sure I’d notice.” Dude, Edith is your last remaining sister! Why do you hate her so so much? The Pamuk thing should be water under the bridge by now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it turns out they are all distracted. When Branson says, “It can be hard to know what to do for the best--you don’t want to hurt people, but you may have to,” Mary says: “I know exactly what you mean.” Oh snap. Mary is totally definitely dumping Tony! Why? Was he terrible in bed? The kind of guy who refuses to make eye contact? What Mary needs is a real man. A man like…Branson?? When Branson says, “If you love me, you’ll support me,” she perks up. Will Sibby and George soon be sibling-cousins?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Donk and Cora return to Downton, just in time for the Russian Tea. Tony shows up too and so do Violet and Isobel. Are those two ever apart these days? Are they contractually obligated to share every scene? Because it seems like we’re building to a climax, the School Teacher shows up too. Guess who thinks helping displaced tsarist aristocrats is totally ridiculous and isn't afraid to say it? I'll give you one try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a side room, Violet attacks Mary by saying: “In my day, a woman was incapable of feeling physical attraction until she’d been instructed to do so by her mama.” Um, is this why Violet is tampering with Isobel's love life? Because she’s never felt physical attraction for a man? Because she’s a lesbian and secretly in love with Isobel and so consumed with jealousy re: Isobel's suitors? Spin off!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Baxter the Angel is, of course, granted a reprieve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Cora tells Donk he’s a stupid jerk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, since we’re building to a climax, everyone must show up and now it’s the Baby Watcher’s turn. He’s there to tell Edith she can’t see Marigold anymore. Not cool, Baby Watcher! Edith has been through enough! Leave Edith alone!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the tea, the School Teacher has decided to stay, which makes Donk the opposite of really happy. She says something political, obviously, which stresses the poor refugees out. Luckily, Donk has a bunch of old trash from a wedding to distract them. The trash brings back some old memories for Violet who starts talking nostalgically about the party where they got the trash and the blue dress she was wearing. At which point, a hot older Russian gentleman who is actually a prince steps forward and reminds her he gave her the wedding trash. So, she's not a lesbian, just a basic floozy who had an affair with a Russian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Mary side eyes Granny and says: “I know now you understand my predicament far better than you let on.” They smile knowingly at each other. Is Granny the newest member of the Downton Feminist Society? The old ladies get into a car and Granny looks wistfully out at her Russian Prince and Isobel finally gets a dig in about Violet’s love life. The car drives on and credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Branson: \u003c/strong>Branson gets in the rankings this week, even though he didn't do much, for launching a thousand Mary/Branson shippers. Oh, yes. Please please please fall in love with Mary!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Mary:\u003c/strong> Mary is taking control of her life by protecting herself from unwanted pregnancies and maybe breaking up with a guy because he's bad at sex and hopefully starting a full-on love affair with her dead sister's husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Cora: \u003c/strong>Speaking of taking control of your life! Cora is not standing for Donk's nonsense and she's thinking about what she can do to contribute to this world! Another potential new member of the Downton Feminist Society?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Edith:\u003c/strong> Oh, Edith. She just cannot catch a break. But her torment is our entertainment! And I think her plot line is a lot more interesting than the war memorial or the Bates is still a murderer plot line. May Marigold and Michael be returned to you, dearest Edith!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Violet:\u003c/strong> Dude. She \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pull\" target=\"_blank\">pulled\u003c/a> a prince!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Come back next week to see is Violet rekindles her love with a royal Russian and if the Bateses run off to Mexico!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week's episode had more secret affairs than you can handle. Read all about 'em!",
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"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Welcome, friends, to your weekly visit to the Abbey. (\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">Miss the last episode? Read all about it!\u003c/a>) I hear a telephone ringing in the distance. Should we answer? Remember, \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>. To the recap!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Liverpool, Mary and Tony are deep into their Sex Vacation. They are being so modern that Mary tells the help she “can manage” her own breakfast tray. Heavens! She really is a new, modern woman. Oh, wait, she’s not that modern: “I’ve been tarnished once,” she tells Tony when he suggests it won’t be the end of the world if they are seen together in public, “and I won’t be tarnished again.” The Pirate kisses her and departs to his connected room for his breakfast tray and Mary looks off into the distance, troubled. Is she thinking about Sir Charles Blake a.k.a. that dude she mud wrestled with?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy can’t shut up about how great she is at math now, which means she misses Patmore’s dramatic emoting over her mail. \u003cem>Beginner’s Downton Tip:\u003c/em> All important plots involve mail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the breakfast room, Cora is all dolled up, probably for the Art Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas is speaking his lines in monotone as a protest against his one-dimensional character. He’s up to no good, obviously, and it’s not mail-related but telephone call-related. Time and technology march on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Liverpool, Mary leaves the Sex Vacation telling Tony, “We’ll talk soon.” Oh, wow. Cold. Next thing you know she’s sending him a text message saying, “You’re really great! It’s not you, it’s me! Timing is just really bad right now! :)”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From across the street, the Dowager Countess' Generic Butler spots them as they are leaving the hotel. Oooooh. There you go. He's going to blow this Sex Vacation secret wide open! \u003cem>Another\u003c/em> \u003cem>Beginner’s Downton Tip: If there is a secret, a minimum of two people will discover it almost immediately. Julian Fellows cannot stand a secret to remain secret for longer than one scene.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s house, Violet is mean girling Isobel as hard as she can: “Oh, what is the latest from your aging Romeo?” she asks. To explain what just happened in the last scene, Isobel asks where her butler Sprat is (he didn’t open the door!) and Violet says he’s in Liverpool.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson engages with the kindly police man who is definitely about to take Downton down re: the Bates keeps murdering people situation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith pulls a very Mary-like sneak attack on Mary and says, “Where are [your sketches] anyway? Can’t we see them?” Luckily, no one ever listens to Edith so no one notices. Also, they are too busy listening to Old Man Donk yell about a new thing he just discovered he hates: “I won’t have 50 ugly modern houses built over a field of mine!” Babies George and Sibby are brought into the library to make Edith sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Rachel (Hughes) lies to Ross (Carson) about Anna’s Rapist. Oh no! They should totally be telling each other everything! Alone, they are fingers, but together they make a fist!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Patmore pulls Hughes into a room and explains that this war memorial plot isn’t going away any time soon and she wants her deserter nephew’s name on the Downton memorial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, her Generic Butler gets super coy with his gossip, but only holds on to it for all of 20 seconds before spilling the beans that Mary was in Liverpool having sex. Violet lies her face off to Generic Butler to keep Mary untarnished for as long as possible. Good luck with that, Dowager.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna and Hughes think about starting \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/serial/\" target=\"_blank\">a weekly serialized podcast to find out the truth about where Bates was during those 15 minutes after school\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Cora sets up a trip to London with the Art Guy, which Donk conveniently cannot attend. Mary gets a phone call from her grandmother because she’s in big trouble, and Rose is getting ready to bring her Russian refugees, who are actually like deposed royalty, to Downton. Rose, such a humanitarian!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the dinner table, Thomas the Liar lies about his phone calls and pretends they are all about his sick father. As if Thomas has a father and wasn’t just hatched full grown from an evil egg! Anna whispers to Bates something about running away and Daisy stops to talk about how she’s thinking of becoming a physicist now that she’s sooooo good at math and Patmore yells: “That’s enough, Daisy! Come and carry the spotted dick!” (Sorry. That wasn’t that important; I just really wanted to type “spotted dick”).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora demands answers from Baxter the Honest and Noble Thief. Baxter leaves and Cora starts speaking romantically about the war and a time when she felt useful. She’s clearly trying to communicate with Donk about how she wants to be at least a little involved in things, but he doesn't think it's a woman's place to ask questions or know information or do things. When she asks him about the 50 ugly modern houses, he says: “Nothing to trouble you with.” You know who I bet is about to allow Cora to \"trouble with\" things? The Art Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, Mary pawns the prophylactic off on Anna. Um, why not just throw it away if it’s so dangerous? I’ll tell you why: the plot! Anna suggests that helping Mary have premarital sex is causing her to be punished by God, who is now running the police investigation of the Rapist’s death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Bates interrogates Anna about the prophylactic, which is now in her pocket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson and Hughes argue about Patmore's deserter nephew. Ugh, these two. On again off again on again off again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Baxter and Molesley talk about how Baxter can deal with the ultimatum from Cora regarding the circumstances of her great jewel heist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the turmoil in the Carson/Hughes relationship ripples, causing confusion and sadness among the staff (Patmore runs off in tears, while Daisy can’t decide what they are trying to say about whether she can or cannot take an exam).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Donk says he’s planning on heading to London to surprise Cora. You know that’s not going to end well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the policeman is back and apparently now knows who Bates is. Maybe he showed up on a list of Known-Criminals in the Abbey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Mary is completely caught re: her Sex Vacation and so must sit through a lecture from her Granny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Baxter the Angel finally admits the cause of her thievery. She was basically in an abusive relationship and tricked into it. Obviously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of criminals, downstairs, Bates gets interrogated by the policeman. Bates doesn’t seem worried about this. Sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Cora gazes at art and the Art Guy gazes at her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s house, Edith has apparently kidnapped Marigold, as would anyone. Well, okay, she hasn’t actually kidnapped Marigold, she’s just taken her to see some chickens, but the Baby Watcher’s Wife is not impressed. Seriously, just tell this lady Marigold is the fruit of Edith’s loins! One theme of this episode: keeping unimportant secrets from your significant other (and yes, I'm including Hughes and Carson here, as well as Anna and Bates).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, there's more phone news: for some reason, Cora can’t get through to Rosamund to tell her she’s about to have a tarnishing dinner with the Art Guy. The Art Guy is laying it on thick, complimenting Cora’s outfit and telling her she “has an instinct” for art. Yeah, buddy, we all know \u003cem>exactly\u003c/em> what it sounds like when an art guy is trying to get into a pretty lady’s underthings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Mary discuss the Bates Murder Timeline. Yes, he visited a shoe shop right before it opened, but what about Best Buy? And was there a pay phone there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the streets of London, Cora admits that she’s Jewish to the Art Guy. Did we know this already? She tells her origin story, which is basically \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zplc4Ienkws\" target=\"_blank\">the plot from the song “Fancy”\u003c/a> except that, instead of an impoverished Southern shack, Cora came from an upper middle class Jewish family in New York and, instead of a sugar daddy-type john, Cora got Donk. The Art Guy puts the moves on Cora as passively as humanly possible and she gently rebuffs him in a classy lady way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When she gets backs to Rosamund’s, Donk is there in a suit and he’s not stoked because: “I traveled to London in order to give my wife a treat, only to find she’s out dining with another man.” Oh geeeeeez. He then goes on to tell Cora that the Art Guy couldn’t possibly care about her stupid female opinions. Yes, okay, maybe you’re a teeny tiny bit right, Donk, but you are also a stupid jerk. I hope Cora leaves you for the Art Guy. I hope Isis, the dog, leaves you for the Art Guy too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of stupid jerks, back at Downton, Mary throws in an unnecessary jab at Edith when Branson asks if Edith seems a bit distracted to her: “I’m not sure I’d notice.” Dude, Edith is your last remaining sister! Why do you hate her so so much? The Pamuk thing should be water under the bridge by now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it turns out they are all distracted. When Branson says, “It can be hard to know what to do for the best--you don’t want to hurt people, but you may have to,” Mary says: “I know exactly what you mean.” Oh snap. Mary is totally definitely dumping Tony! Why? Was he terrible in bed? The kind of guy who refuses to make eye contact? What Mary needs is a real man. A man like…Branson?? When Branson says, “If you love me, you’ll support me,” she perks up. Will Sibby and George soon be sibling-cousins?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Donk and Cora return to Downton, just in time for the Russian Tea. Tony shows up too and so do Violet and Isobel. Are those two ever apart these days? Are they contractually obligated to share every scene? Because it seems like we’re building to a climax, the School Teacher shows up too. Guess who thinks helping displaced tsarist aristocrats is totally ridiculous and isn't afraid to say it? I'll give you one try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a side room, Violet attacks Mary by saying: “In my day, a woman was incapable of feeling physical attraction until she’d been instructed to do so by her mama.” Um, is this why Violet is tampering with Isobel's love life? Because she’s never felt physical attraction for a man? Because she’s a lesbian and secretly in love with Isobel and so consumed with jealousy re: Isobel's suitors? Spin off!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Baxter the Angel is, of course, granted a reprieve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Cora tells Donk he’s a stupid jerk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, since we’re building to a climax, everyone must show up and now it’s the Baby Watcher’s turn. He’s there to tell Edith she can’t see Marigold anymore. Not cool, Baby Watcher! Edith has been through enough! Leave Edith alone!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the tea, the School Teacher has decided to stay, which makes Donk the opposite of really happy. She says something political, obviously, which stresses the poor refugees out. Luckily, Donk has a bunch of old trash from a wedding to distract them. The trash brings back some old memories for Violet who starts talking nostalgically about the party where they got the trash and the blue dress she was wearing. At which point, a hot older Russian gentleman who is actually a prince steps forward and reminds her he gave her the wedding trash. So, she's not a lesbian, just a basic floozy who had an affair with a Russian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Mary side eyes Granny and says: “I know now you understand my predicament far better than you let on.” They smile knowingly at each other. Is Granny the newest member of the Downton Feminist Society? The old ladies get into a car and Granny looks wistfully out at her Russian Prince and Isobel finally gets a dig in about Violet’s love life. The car drives on and credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Branson: \u003c/strong>Branson gets in the rankings this week, even though he didn't do much, for launching a thousand Mary/Branson shippers. Oh, yes. Please please please fall in love with Mary!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Mary:\u003c/strong> Mary is taking control of her life by protecting herself from unwanted pregnancies and maybe breaking up with a guy because he's bad at sex and hopefully starting a full-on love affair with her dead sister's husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Cora: \u003c/strong>Speaking of taking control of your life! Cora is not standing for Donk's nonsense and she's thinking about what she can do to contribute to this world! Another potential new member of the Downton Feminist Society?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Edith:\u003c/strong> Oh, Edith. She just cannot catch a break. But her torment is our entertainment! And I think her plot line is a lot more interesting than the war memorial or the Bates is still a murderer plot line. May Marigold and Michael be returned to you, dearest Edith!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Violet:\u003c/strong> Dude. She \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pull\" target=\"_blank\">pulled\u003c/a> a prince!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Come back next week to see is Violet rekindles her love with a royal Russian and if the Bateses run off to Mexico!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "5 Authentic Anglophile Experiences in the Bay Area for Downton Die-Hards",
"title": "5 Authentic Anglophile Experiences in the Bay Area for Downton Die-Hards",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>By Carly Severn\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Has your \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> obsession\u003c/a> reached unprecedented heights with the arrival of Season 5 (9pm Sundays on KQED 9)? Does your general addiction to Masterpiece Theatre have you craving the English life, with only the small matter of 5,000 miles of U.S. soil and Atlantic Ocean standing in your way?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The Bay Area may not be overrun with bona fide Anglo experiences (the sunshine and cheery dispositions here don’t help), but there \u003ci>are\u003c/i> a few select places to enjoy a suitably authentic Anglophile afternoon, without the buzzkill of an 11-hour flight to Heathrow. So without further ado, here are the local spots that make this particular English lady feel peculiarly at home:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p4\">\u003cb>Best Country Pub: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>The Pelican Inn\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Muir Beach)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14649\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14649 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-800x535.jpg\" alt=\"pelican inn muir\" width=\"800\" height=\"535\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-800x535.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/30228224@N07/5331488511/in/photolist-988gMH-3PUXG-3PUXH-3PVr4-3bYxT3-7ybN9Z-fFdxPW-6MxjYR-cyqGMC-9VHP66-9VHP2H-cypt6J-9VKHMu-9VGTrz-9VKHtu-3PZ4c-8K9oKK-87YfS3-2EP1Ws-3PVr5-4AQ7J5-jSMh4z-7yfJfA-7yfCHh-7ybTxT-7ybS4a-7ybSfH-7ybT3X-7yfG6E-84vzVP-7yfHEy-7yfEo5-7ybRNB-7ybRRc-7yfGnJ-7ybPHK-7ybPLv-7ybT98-7yfFWJ-7yfFFQ-7yfFvJ-7yfGrE-7ybSHR-7yfH2W-7ybRFp-7ybRnT-7yfGeU-7ybQHD-7yfG2h-7yfFj1\">Frank Towery / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p6\">As a real-life Brit, stepping inside this \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">painstakingly-authentic Tudor-style pub and hotel\u003c/span>\u003c/a> out at Muir Beach is actually quite unnerving, so genuine is its recreation of the kind of 16th-century village tavern you might visit on a drive through the English countryside. Happily, its interiors are actually matched by the great pub “fayre” on offer, which includes bangers and mash, shepherd’s pie and Guinness beef stew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p6\">As for where to eat it, \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/food/menus-hours/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">the Pelican’s beamed restaurant\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is absolutely beautiful, but if you’re not in the mood to pay high prices, try the \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/food/bar-menu/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">smaller but more wallet-friendly options\u003c/span>\u003c/a> in the cozy\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>and more authentic-feeling\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>bar. On a sunny day, there’s no nicer place to be than the Pelican’s front lawn with a beer (they have a great selection of English ales) after a hike on nearby \u003ca href=\"http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=471\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Mount Tamalpais\u003c/span>\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"http://www.nps.gov/muwo/index.htm\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Muir Woods\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. For the full 16th-century experience without the low life expectancy, stay overnight in one of their \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/rates/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">lovely rooms\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, several of which have a four-poster bed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"s3\">Tip:\u003c/span>\u003c/strong> The Pelican has \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/british-events-music-holidays/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">live music\u003c/span>\u003c/a> in the bar on Friday and Saturday nights, ranging from lute concerts to not-very-English bluegrass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14651\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14651 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"pelican inn muir\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/xeeliz/31983002/in/photolist-3PVr5-4AQ7J5-jSMh4z-7yfJfA-7yfCHh-7ybTxT-7ybS4a-7ybSfH-7ybT3X-7yfG6E-84vzVP-7yfHEy-7yfEo5-7ybRNB-7ybRRc-7yfGnJ-7ybPHK-7ybPLv-7ybT98-7yfFWJ-7yfFFQ-7yfFvJ-7yfGrE-7ybSHR-7yfH2W-7ybRFp-7ybRnT-7yfGeU-7ybQHD-7yfG2h-7yfFj1-7ybQCc-9ZpyWf-9ZmGxt-9ZmE16-9ZmFki-3PVr6-euZoQJ-euWbHR-aZ3gUn-aZ3gRB-dXEpY9-dXyJ5p-dXEpUo-dXEpTL-dXyJ1Z-dXyJ34-dXEpTj-dXEpYu-dXyJ5T\">xeeliz / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>The Pelican Inn\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 10 Pacific Way, Muir Beach, CA 94965 \u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Aristocratic Architecture: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Filoli\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Woodside)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14671\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14671 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Frank Farm / Flickr\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-1440x1080.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/frankfarm/9464995168/in/photolist-fqoziS-fqoram-fqkj1s-fq94qD-fqoHEd-fqk2XW-fq9rUg-fq7QwM-fqp3tG-fqmBiU-fqkaQL-fqm7V7-fq7cAX-fqkvsN-fq6Uae-fq6sm4-fq9gNn-fqmXv5-fqofCq-fq5QKg-fq8eqP-fqnevY-fq98cZ-fq9Kcz-fqoDwQ-fqST41-fqn2Zq-fq6NS8-fq6hXV-fq711i-fqoPVq-fqpa9C-fqmyZU-fq62nF-fqoxeY-fqoKGs-fqmaFf-fq7L7k-fq6YBc-fqojtC-fqmpTS-fq96T2-fqn1RQ-fq9Mg2-fq9HyZ-fqkcCW-fq9DUn-fqmVAd-fq7eNp-fqkoxq\">Frank Farm / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p2\">The kind of historic mansions that are ten-a-penny throughout Britain\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>and Masterpiece Theatre’s programming\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>are kind of in short supply around the Bay Area. That’s why \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Filoli\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is such an unexpected treat: a country house estate located 30 miles south of San Francisco that dates back to 1915. \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-house/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">The house itself\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, built to resemble an English Georgian mansion, is gorgeous: \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-house/room-by-room.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">over 40 rooms of beautiful interiors\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, including a 22 foot-high ballroom, a wood-paneled library and a Butler’s Pantry and Kitchen. It’s also an \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Antiques Roadshow\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em> fan’s dream, with an extensive collection of 17th and 18th-century English antiques. It’s not Downton, but it’s perfect for indulging your lord/lady-of-the-manor dreams (or accepting the reality that you’d probably have been “below stairs”). Outside, there are beautiful \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-garden/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">formal and walled gardens\u003c/span>\u003c/a> to explore, set in 650 acres of land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Be warned: despite what you’d assume, picnics are actually forbidden on the grounds. So, leave the hamper at home or be prepared to eat it in secret, which is guaranteed to kill your \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/season2_characters_mary.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lady Mary\u003c/span>\u003c/a> vibes stone-dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14672\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-14672\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-800x534.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Jill Clardy / Flickr\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-800x534.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/jillclardy/3594107150/in/photolist-4ENHde-aaWmpt-5oo43V-7Jnrqy-6nTsNf-8P6jDU-6M2rPa-mpVBRZ-bzzx37-ekQour-fBTVQu-fBTovd-fBTkLf-6nTB1N-4HEwuC-4HAgAz-pNc3ky-4ESXNN-bzzwHJ-4TvarW-fmP24H-6tAJQE-f6sANV-7WD15U-p4BLi7-9H1Bwt-kMauCz-ekQoig-6rpr4A-bFCy7r-bSUeD4-pDt61r-4HPX1Q-7MQd9j-4TC4uB-bKuarD-61SQjk-4ENKGB-f7G9Ug-bsHFpC-9mkrGf-42uZnd-6RcUE9-bFCy4M-28ZBV-bNub7B-4vSDQw-ekVJms-dgLZg-eimJVM\">Jill Clardy / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Filoli\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 86 Canada Rd, Woodside, CA 94062\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Soccer: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Mad Dog In The Fog\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Lower Haight, San Francisco)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14673\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14673 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-1440x1080.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/dokas/8830372042/in/photolist-esiXXQ-eP3sAG-65UjZG-Bpcpa-H5iq-6nA4r-gbUub-dk6bhC-5Jtqmo-6dV6KC-P7F8-h72Rj-ccX9gS-4GaFhU-8QzNLF-4GaFLC-agwGp5-4G6yL6-4G6uUP-4G6xNp-4GaGnS-4G6yeH-4G6xnk-4G6uuK-4GaGGb-h6ULw-bkLnmm-cFxJ8E\">Phil Dokas / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">When Brits grow weary of trying to somehow watch football (i.e. soccer) and rugby matches online, they come to places like this fun, rowdy Haight pub. \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Mad Dog In The Fog\u003c/span>\u003c/a> screens these matches live as early as 5am and they still manage to be packed. The \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=8\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">bar menu\u003c/span>\u003c/a> here is decidedly American (the mere phrase “buffalo wings” would throw your average Brit into a tailspin of confusion). However, this is more than compensated for by the frankly \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=30\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">massive selection of European beers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, as well as their \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=28\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">English breakfast options\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, including bacon and sausage “butties” (sandwiches). If you’re in here before the sun is up, you’re going to need one of these.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> If you’re planning to watch a particularly popular game here, plan to arrive ridiculously ahead of kick-off or risk finding yourself exiled outside on the sidewalk. Unlike in the UK, you can’t even drink your pint out there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Mad Dog in the Dog,\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci> 530 Haight St, San Francisco, CA 94117\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Tea and Scones: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Lovejoy’s Tearoom\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Noe Valley, San Francisco)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14675\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14675 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: t\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/meowr/3900210977\">Tina Chen / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">If that “\u003ca href=\"http://www.barterbooks.co.uk/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=32036\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Keep Calm And Carry On\u003c/span>\u003c/a>” poster came to life and opened a teashop in deepest Noe Valley, this would be it. A deliberately-chintzy, charmingly fussy tea room stuffed with knick- knacks, 1940s-style signage and lace, \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is the place to get your tea, scones, sausage rolls, ploughman’s lunch and everything in between. The main draw here is the famous \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/Menu/menu.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s tea service\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, which ranges from the simple Cream Tea (scones and a pot of tea) to the extravagant Queen’s Tea: a decadent platter including sandwiches, salad, crumpets and petit fours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">After you’ve extracted yourself from all that lace, you can cross Church Street to visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/Retail/retail.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s Attic\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, an antiques offshoot selling china, aprons and more. (Afficionados of British TV may already realize that Lovejoy’s is named for the loveable antique-dealing hero of the UK show \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090477/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, played by \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0574534/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Ian McShane\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. Incidentally, this show is also the reason Brits have always found McShane’s recent reinvention as drawling tough guy in US shows like \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348914/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cem>Deadwood\u003c/em> \u003c/span>\u003c/a>and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www2.fxnetworks.com/shows/american-horror-story/episodes?aka_device_type=html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">American Horror Story\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em> so jarring).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Be aware that reservations are almost certainly necessary on the weekends. Plus, there’s a less-enjoyably-retro $10.95 minimum spend per person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14676\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14676 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: s\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/meowr/3900211687/in/photolist-63eVVH-63eVsn-63jbmU-63eWct-63eWmM-8jYutn-8k2FGw-8k2FCy-6WDB46-6WDAQR-6WDANT-76eXN-67LZLh-67GP2D\">Tina Chen / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Lovejoy’s Tearoom\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 1351 Church Street, San Francisco, 94114\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Fish And Chips: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Camelot Fish and Chips\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Pacifica)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14534\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 397px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/image009.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14534 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/image009.jpeg\" alt=\"image009\" width=\"397\" height=\"530\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Carly Severn / KQED\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">Don’t think too hard on the mythical status this dish occupies in the English psyche; just know that your fish needs to be crisp and your chips chunky. To that end, the best fish and chips in the Bay lies 15 miles south of San Francisco at \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Camelot Fish and Chips\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, a \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">tiny, dark pub-restaurant\u003c/span>\u003c/a> filled with Princess Diana memorabilia just off Hwy 1 in \u003ca href=\"http://www.cityofpacifica.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Pacifica\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. This British-owned spot has been going since 1969 and, despite a few less-than-authentic options like (admittedly delicious) sweet potato fries and hush puppies, the presence of mushy peas on the \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/menu.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">menu\u003c/span>\u003c/a> confirms this place’s pedigree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">Even though Camelot’s fish is pollock (in the UK, you’d choose between cod and haddock) something about the batter used in frying their fish makes it the closest you’ll get to “proper” British fish and chips. The frequently-dreary Pacifica weather only adds to the Anglophile experience, so for a true taste of England, order your fish and chips to-go and eat them on the blustery oceanfront while shivering. Brilliant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Go the whole hog and order one of their Deep Fried Mars Bars for pudding (that’s dessert to you). They’re a Scottish chip shop delicacy, rather than an English one, but who’s checking?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s4\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/menu.html\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Camelot Fish and Chips\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 70 W Manor Dr, Pacifica, CA 94044\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Here's how you can enjoy a suitably authentic English afternoon, without the buzz kill of an 11-hour flight to Heathrow.",
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"description": "Here's how you can enjoy a suitably authentic English afternoon, without the buzz kill of an 11-hour flight to Heathrow.",
"title": "5 Authentic Anglophile Experiences in the Bay Area for Downton Die-Hards | KQED",
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"headline": "5 Authentic Anglophile Experiences in the Bay Area for Downton Die-Hards",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>By Carly Severn\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Has your \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> obsession\u003c/a> reached unprecedented heights with the arrival of Season 5 (9pm Sundays on KQED 9)? Does your general addiction to Masterpiece Theatre have you craving the English life, with only the small matter of 5,000 miles of U.S. soil and Atlantic Ocean standing in your way?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The Bay Area may not be overrun with bona fide Anglo experiences (the sunshine and cheery dispositions here don’t help), but there \u003ci>are\u003c/i> a few select places to enjoy a suitably authentic Anglophile afternoon, without the buzzkill of an 11-hour flight to Heathrow. So without further ado, here are the local spots that make this particular English lady feel peculiarly at home:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p4\">\u003cb>Best Country Pub: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>The Pelican Inn\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Muir Beach)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14649\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14649 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-800x535.jpg\" alt=\"pelican inn muir\" width=\"800\" height=\"535\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-800x535.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/5331488511_e4f18022bf_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/30228224@N07/5331488511/in/photolist-988gMH-3PUXG-3PUXH-3PVr4-3bYxT3-7ybN9Z-fFdxPW-6MxjYR-cyqGMC-9VHP66-9VHP2H-cypt6J-9VKHMu-9VGTrz-9VKHtu-3PZ4c-8K9oKK-87YfS3-2EP1Ws-3PVr5-4AQ7J5-jSMh4z-7yfJfA-7yfCHh-7ybTxT-7ybS4a-7ybSfH-7ybT3X-7yfG6E-84vzVP-7yfHEy-7yfEo5-7ybRNB-7ybRRc-7yfGnJ-7ybPHK-7ybPLv-7ybT98-7yfFWJ-7yfFFQ-7yfFvJ-7yfGrE-7ybSHR-7yfH2W-7ybRFp-7ybRnT-7yfGeU-7ybQHD-7yfG2h-7yfFj1\">Frank Towery / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p6\">As a real-life Brit, stepping inside this \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">painstakingly-authentic Tudor-style pub and hotel\u003c/span>\u003c/a> out at Muir Beach is actually quite unnerving, so genuine is its recreation of the kind of 16th-century village tavern you might visit on a drive through the English countryside. Happily, its interiors are actually matched by the great pub “fayre” on offer, which includes bangers and mash, shepherd’s pie and Guinness beef stew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p6\">As for where to eat it, \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/food/menus-hours/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">the Pelican’s beamed restaurant\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is absolutely beautiful, but if you’re not in the mood to pay high prices, try the \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/food/bar-menu/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">smaller but more wallet-friendly options\u003c/span>\u003c/a> in the cozy\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>and more authentic-feeling\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>bar. On a sunny day, there’s no nicer place to be than the Pelican’s front lawn with a beer (they have a great selection of English ales) after a hike on nearby \u003ca href=\"http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=471\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Mount Tamalpais\u003c/span>\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"http://www.nps.gov/muwo/index.htm\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Muir Woods\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. For the full 16th-century experience without the low life expectancy, stay overnight in one of their \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/rates/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">lovely rooms\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, several of which have a four-poster bed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"s3\">Tip:\u003c/span>\u003c/strong> The Pelican has \u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/british-events-music-holidays/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">live music\u003c/span>\u003c/a> in the bar on Friday and Saturday nights, ranging from lute concerts to not-very-English bluegrass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14651\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14651 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"pelican inn muir\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/31983002_f814611c45_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/xeeliz/31983002/in/photolist-3PVr5-4AQ7J5-jSMh4z-7yfJfA-7yfCHh-7ybTxT-7ybS4a-7ybSfH-7ybT3X-7yfG6E-84vzVP-7yfHEy-7yfEo5-7ybRNB-7ybRRc-7yfGnJ-7ybPHK-7ybPLv-7ybT98-7yfFWJ-7yfFFQ-7yfFvJ-7yfGrE-7ybSHR-7yfH2W-7ybRFp-7ybRnT-7yfGeU-7ybQHD-7yfG2h-7yfFj1-7ybQCc-9ZpyWf-9ZmGxt-9ZmE16-9ZmFki-3PVr6-euZoQJ-euWbHR-aZ3gUn-aZ3gRB-dXEpY9-dXyJ5p-dXEpUo-dXEpTL-dXyJ1Z-dXyJ34-dXEpTj-dXEpYu-dXyJ5T\">xeeliz / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.pelicaninn.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>The Pelican Inn\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 10 Pacific Way, Muir Beach, CA 94965 \u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Aristocratic Architecture: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Filoli\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Woodside)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14671\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14671 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Frank Farm / Flickr\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k-1440x1080.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/9464995168_7955374a5a_k.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/frankfarm/9464995168/in/photolist-fqoziS-fqoram-fqkj1s-fq94qD-fqoHEd-fqk2XW-fq9rUg-fq7QwM-fqp3tG-fqmBiU-fqkaQL-fqm7V7-fq7cAX-fqkvsN-fq6Uae-fq6sm4-fq9gNn-fqmXv5-fqofCq-fq5QKg-fq8eqP-fqnevY-fq98cZ-fq9Kcz-fqoDwQ-fqST41-fqn2Zq-fq6NS8-fq6hXV-fq711i-fqoPVq-fqpa9C-fqmyZU-fq62nF-fqoxeY-fqoKGs-fqmaFf-fq7L7k-fq6YBc-fqojtC-fqmpTS-fq96T2-fqn1RQ-fq9Mg2-fq9HyZ-fqkcCW-fq9DUn-fqmVAd-fq7eNp-fqkoxq\">Frank Farm / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p2\">The kind of historic mansions that are ten-a-penny throughout Britain\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>and Masterpiece Theatre’s programming\u003cspan class=\"s2\">—\u003c/span>are kind of in short supply around the Bay Area. That’s why \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Filoli\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is such an unexpected treat: a country house estate located 30 miles south of San Francisco that dates back to 1915. \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-house/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">The house itself\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, built to resemble an English Georgian mansion, is gorgeous: \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-house/room-by-room.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">over 40 rooms of beautiful interiors\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, including a 22 foot-high ballroom, a wood-paneled library and a Butler’s Pantry and Kitchen. It’s also an \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Antiques Roadshow\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em> fan’s dream, with an extensive collection of 17th and 18th-century English antiques. It’s not Downton, but it’s perfect for indulging your lord/lady-of-the-manor dreams (or accepting the reality that you’d probably have been “below stairs”). Outside, there are beautiful \u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/explore-filoli/the-garden/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">formal and walled gardens\u003c/span>\u003c/a> to explore, set in 650 acres of land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Be warned: despite what you’d assume, picnics are actually forbidden on the grounds. So, leave the hamper at home or be prepared to eat it in secret, which is guaranteed to kill your \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/season2_characters_mary.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lady Mary\u003c/span>\u003c/a> vibes stone-dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14672\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-14672\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-800x534.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Jill Clardy / Flickr\" width=\"800\" height=\"534\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-800x534.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3594107150_868603b15a_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/jillclardy/3594107150/in/photolist-4ENHde-aaWmpt-5oo43V-7Jnrqy-6nTsNf-8P6jDU-6M2rPa-mpVBRZ-bzzx37-ekQour-fBTVQu-fBTovd-fBTkLf-6nTB1N-4HEwuC-4HAgAz-pNc3ky-4ESXNN-bzzwHJ-4TvarW-fmP24H-6tAJQE-f6sANV-7WD15U-p4BLi7-9H1Bwt-kMauCz-ekQoig-6rpr4A-bFCy7r-bSUeD4-pDt61r-4HPX1Q-7MQd9j-4TC4uB-bKuarD-61SQjk-4ENKGB-f7G9Ug-bsHFpC-9mkrGf-42uZnd-6RcUE9-bFCy4M-28ZBV-bNub7B-4vSDQw-ekVJms-dgLZg-eimJVM\">Jill Clardy / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.filoli.org/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Filoli\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 86 Canada Rd, Woodside, CA 94062\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Soccer: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Mad Dog In The Fog\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Lower Haight, San Francisco)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14673\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14673 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: \" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k-1440x1080.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/8830372042_07bff818c0_k.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/dokas/8830372042/in/photolist-esiXXQ-eP3sAG-65UjZG-Bpcpa-H5iq-6nA4r-gbUub-dk6bhC-5Jtqmo-6dV6KC-P7F8-h72Rj-ccX9gS-4GaFhU-8QzNLF-4GaFLC-agwGp5-4G6yL6-4G6uUP-4G6xNp-4GaGnS-4G6yeH-4G6xnk-4G6uuK-4GaGGb-h6ULw-bkLnmm-cFxJ8E\">Phil Dokas / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">When Brits grow weary of trying to somehow watch football (i.e. soccer) and rugby matches online, they come to places like this fun, rowdy Haight pub. \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Mad Dog In The Fog\u003c/span>\u003c/a> screens these matches live as early as 5am and they still manage to be packed. The \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=8\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">bar menu\u003c/span>\u003c/a> here is decidedly American (the mere phrase “buffalo wings” would throw your average Brit into a tailspin of confusion). However, this is more than compensated for by the frankly \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=30\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">massive selection of European beers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, as well as their \u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/?page_id=28\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">English breakfast options\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, including bacon and sausage “butties” (sandwiches). If you’re in here before the sun is up, you’re going to need one of these.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> If you’re planning to watch a particularly popular game here, plan to arrive ridiculously ahead of kick-off or risk finding yourself exiled outside on the sidewalk. Unlike in the UK, you can’t even drink your pint out there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.themaddoginthefog.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Mad Dog in the Dog,\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci> 530 Haight St, San Francisco, CA 94117\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Tea and Scones: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Lovejoy’s Tearoom\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Noe Valley, San Francisco)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14675\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14675 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: t\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900210977_606228f96c_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/meowr/3900210977\">Tina Chen / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">If that “\u003ca href=\"http://www.barterbooks.co.uk/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=32036\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Keep Calm And Carry On\u003c/span>\u003c/a>” poster came to life and opened a teashop in deepest Noe Valley, this would be it. A deliberately-chintzy, charmingly fussy tea room stuffed with knick- knacks, 1940s-style signage and lace, \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s\u003c/span>\u003c/a> is the place to get your tea, scones, sausage rolls, ploughman’s lunch and everything in between. The main draw here is the famous \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/Menu/menu.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s tea service\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, which ranges from the simple Cream Tea (scones and a pot of tea) to the extravagant Queen’s Tea: a decadent platter including sandwiches, salad, crumpets and petit fours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">After you’ve extracted yourself from all that lace, you can cross Church Street to visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/Retail/retail.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy’s Attic\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, an antiques offshoot selling china, aprons and more. (Afficionados of British TV may already realize that Lovejoy’s is named for the loveable antique-dealing hero of the UK show \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090477/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Lovejoy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, played by \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0574534/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Ian McShane\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. Incidentally, this show is also the reason Brits have always found McShane’s recent reinvention as drawling tough guy in US shows like \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348914/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cem>Deadwood\u003c/em> \u003c/span>\u003c/a>and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www2.fxnetworks.com/shows/american-horror-story/episodes?aka_device_type=html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">American Horror Story\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/em> so jarring).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Be aware that reservations are almost certainly necessary on the weekends. Plus, there’s a less-enjoyably-retro $10.95 minimum spend per person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14676\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14676 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: s\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/3900211687_0262b781b1_b.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"https://www.flickr.com/photos/meowr/3900211687/in/photolist-63eVVH-63eVsn-63jbmU-63eWct-63eWmM-8jYutn-8k2FGw-8k2FCy-6WDB46-6WDAQR-6WDANT-76eXN-67LZLh-67GP2D\">Tina Chen / Flickr\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.lovejoystearoom.com/\">\u003cb>\u003ci>Lovejoy’s Tearoom\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003ci>, 1351 Church Street, San Francisco, 94114\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p7\">\u003cb>Best For Fish And Chips: \u003c/b>\u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">\u003cb>Camelot Fish and Chips\u003c/b>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cb> (Pacifica)\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_14534\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 397px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/image009.jpeg\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-14534 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/image009.jpeg\" alt=\"image009\" width=\"397\" height=\"530\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Carly Severn / KQED\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">Don’t think too hard on the mythical status this dish occupies in the English psyche; just know that your fish needs to be crisp and your chips chunky. To that end, the best fish and chips in the Bay lies 15 miles south of San Francisco at \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Camelot Fish and Chips\u003c/span>\u003c/a>, a \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">tiny, dark pub-restaurant\u003c/span>\u003c/a> filled with Princess Diana memorabilia just off Hwy 1 in \u003ca href=\"http://www.cityofpacifica.org/\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">Pacifica\u003c/span>\u003c/a>. This British-owned spot has been going since 1969 and, despite a few less-than-authentic options like (admittedly delicious) sweet potato fries and hush puppies, the presence of mushy peas on the \u003ca href=\"http://www.camelotfishandchips.com/menu.html\">\u003cspan class=\"s1\">menu\u003c/span>\u003c/a> confirms this place’s pedigree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">Even though Camelot’s fish is pollock (in the UK, you’d choose between cod and haddock) something about the batter used in frying their fish makes it the closest you’ll get to “proper” British fish and chips. The frequently-dreary Pacifica weather only adds to the Anglophile experience, so for a true taste of England, order your fish and chips to-go and eat them on the blustery oceanfront while shivering. Brilliant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p3\">\u003cspan class=\"s3\">\u003cb>Tip:\u003c/b>\u003c/span> Go the whole hog and order one of their Deep Fried Mars Bars for pudding (that’s dessert to you). They’re a Scottish chip shop delicacy, rather than an English one, but who’s checking?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You",
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"content": "\u003cp>Friends! The ash has settled and we’ve arrived at the second episode of \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>Season 5! \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">(Missed the first? Read all about it.)\u003c/a> I can hardly wait! Is Downton still standing? How does Lord Grantham feel about how the village feels about him?! As usual: \u003cstrong>Spoiler Alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The servants begin cleaning Edith’s charred remains of a room (echoing the charred remains of her life perhaps?) and Anna finds a picture of Marigold and shows it to Mrs. Hughes. So much for that secret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The committee and Carson walk with their new obnoxious patron, Donk. By the way, something I missed last episode was that Baby Sibby is now calling Lord Grantham “Donk” after the donkey in Pin the Tail on the Donkey. In memory of Baby Sibby’s perfect mother, I will henceforth refer to Robert Grantham as Donk. Anyway, the village and Carson want the memorial on the cricket field and Donk wants cricket on the cricket field. Classic Donk: putting sports over human lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas and Jimmy have a strange parting, in which Jimmy starts by saying he can’t believe he’s friends with a real life homosexual and then adds, “I’m sad to see the back of you, I am.” Really, writing team? That’s an interesting choice. The music swells.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Mrs. Patmore loads a huge tray for Molesley, which is a perfect time for Molesley to ask for a promotion to first footman (he’s definitely going to drop that tray).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, everyone talks about Baby George (stop talking about your kids and go hang out with them!) and Mary calls Edith an idiot, which everyone pretty much ignores. Mary then lies to her family and tells them she is going on a “sketching vacation” with her friend “Annabell.” It’s a sex vacation, Mary. That’s what it’s called.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tensions build between Carson and Donk over the location of the war memorial. Sigh. So this plot really is sticking around for another episode…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose thinks about asking for a radio and Donk nearly has a heart attack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, the Baby Watcher (Hot Firefighter) sets Edith up to “take a greater interest” in Marigold. His wife is not super cool with that because Marigold is so cute and perfect and her name is Marigold, but the Baby Watcher pushes on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a tea for the old people, Violet totally calls Isobel out about her Fancy Lord Suitor in front of her Doctor Suitor. Daaaang, Violet is cold! Players have to play, Violet. Let Isobel play!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, Thomas channels his sadness over Jimmy leaving by harassing Baxter and Gallant Mr. Molesley. Talk to a therapist, dude! That’s what the rest of us do!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore and Rose conspire to get Daisy educated by the Hatless School Teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna is in on the sex vacation. Anna points out that Mary, for the first time in her life, will be undertaking the arduous task of taking her own clothing on and off by herself. Oh no! But how will she manage her hats?! After the uncomfortable clothing discussion, the talk turns to birth control and Mary takes the opportunity to guilt Anna into buying her a diaphragm by reminding Anna of the fact that her husband is a murderer and also that Mary’s own husband is dead, saying, “…you’re married, with a living husband!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas smokes menacingly and tries to convince the Noble Molesley that Baxter’s past as a jewel thief makes \u003cem>her\u003c/em> the bad guy. Speak his name and he shall appear: the real criminal, Bates, waltzes in to tell Thomas to shut his yapper. Snitches in ditches, amiright?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bored writing staff has Donk make a joke about Downton being a hotel for the second time in as many episodes (\u003ca href=\"http://britmovietours.com/bookings/downton-abbey-tour-experience/\" target=\"_blank\">product placement?\u003c/a>). Cora, playing the part of the audience, says: “You’ve already made that joke.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith tells her parents the suspicious story of how she’s taken an interest in the Farmer Firefighter’s Unwanted Adoptee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose continues to angle for a wireless. Doesn’t she have parents of her own she can beg for new advanced technology toys?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Ross and Rachel (Hughes and Carson) disagree over the war memorial's placement. It’s ripping the whole house apart!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Anna attempts to buy a prophylactic. Bet you thought you'd never see that sentence in a \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> recap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the School Teacher and Daisy get set up for tutoring \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\" target=\"_blank\">(see my previous predictions).\u003c/a> Also, Julian Fellowes, if you’d like to hire me for your writing team, I am potentially available, though I'm not sure you can afford me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora joins the team lobbying for a wireless. Donk, the Molesley of upstairs, says: “[The wireless] is a fad! It won’t last.” Poor guy is never going to be on the right side of history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe shine room, Molesley confronts Baxter the Thief about the thievery. Molesley, like us, wants to know the real reason Baxter turned to crime. Baxter, the Angel from Heaven, will not tell. This, of course, is how we know she is an angel from heaven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the tea with the Fancy Lord Suitor, Violet openly taunts Isobel about the burgeoning romance. Can you imagine a third grade Violet finding out someone had a crush on someone else? Uuugh, Violet, stop!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, the Feminist Society (Anna and Mary) meet to discuss Anna’s judgment at the hands of the pharmacist and a women’s right to birth control, but they do it in such a fun, flirty way it almost doesn't make you hate feminism!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, a new cast member ogles a painting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Meddlesome Thomas tells Meddlesome Rose that the School Teacher is downstairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary’s Less Attractive Suitor From Last Season acts grumpy about the fact that he wasn’t “the lucky winner” of Mary’s cold, barely beating heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the School Teacher doesn’t want to go to dinner, but she does want to inspire Tom to shake the gilded bonds of the Abbey. Too bad she’s not even remotely as fun and cool and cute as Sybil, because I kind of like her attitude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, the New Cast Member flirts with Cora and Donk tries to fight with the School Teacher in absentia. Unfortunately, her “once more unto the breach, dear friends” speech inspired Tom and he comes to the defense of the Russian Revolution.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Imperialist Donk seems to finally be swayed towards the wireless when he hears that the King is going to be on it. Carson uses this as an opportunity to get in a metaphorical point about Donk’s attitude about the placement of the war memorial saying: “…even kings must bow to pressure sometimes.” Touché, Carson. Compare Donk to a king to stoke his ego and then tell him to sit the F down. Well played. Oh wait, maybe he’s actually just talking about the wireless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Molesley looks sad and Baxter the Angelic Thief continues to refuse to tell anyone why she stole the jewels. This is getting tiresome, Baxter. Why don’t you just kiss Molesley so we can move on?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the room with all the paintings, maybe the New Cast Member isn’t so new? He appears to have a past with Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, there is discord in the Hughes/Carson Harmony Machine because \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxxajLWwzqY\" target=\"_blank\">Carson is from the '70s and Hughes is a '90s…chick\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Cora still can’t decide whether or not to sack Baxter. Spoiler: I really doubt she will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary and the Less Attractive Suitor get into a heated debate about the difference between sex and love, a debate which actually involves the use of the word “sex.” Have they ever used this smutty, graphic term before? Is it even legal to say on televison?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the bedroom, Donk nearly has an aneurism when it occurs to him that Tom might leave Downton and take Baby Sibby with him. He basically gets in a yelling fight with himself. Dear Donk, I'm suggesting for you what I suggested earlier for Thomas: get some therapy, please. Then, in an especially cute maneuver, he tells Cora to tell the New Cast Member to stop flirting with Isis. Oh, Isis is who he’s flirting with?? He says: “There is nothing more ill-bred than trying to steal the affections of someone else’s dog!” and then slams his head down on his pillow. Hey, Donk, I’m no aristocrat, but I have this feeling that it is super “ill-bred\" to pay more attention to your dog than your wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, the Feminist Society has a bit of schism when Anna slut shames Mary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Carson and Donk meet a war widow, who inspires them to silently agree on putting the memorial in the center of town. Can we be done with this plot line now?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the a hall, as the wireless is installed, Daisy says: “Why is it called a wireless when there’s so many wires?” Classic Seinfeld Daisy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, the Baby Watcher’s Wife doesn’t believe that Edith is really going to care at all about Marigold long term. It seems reasonable to let the wife in on the secret of Marigold's parentage because what’s going to happen when Michael comes back? I mean, he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> to come back, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, upstairs and downstairs folks and even the babies gather around the wireless. Everyone stands when the King speaks because they don't seem to realize he can't see or hear them. Welcome to the future, you innocent babies! Next stop: Google Glass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also in the future, Mary arrives in Liverpool for her Sex Vacation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sullenly smokes and tells Anna sadly that nobody likes him. I mean, why do you think that’s the case, Thomas? Could it be your weekly plot against whomever you see first on your way to breakfast?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Tony arrive in Liverpool for their Sex Vacation and they have adjoining rooms, which is going to be helpful because Tony has plans for them to “make love all night long.” Geez Louise! What is this? \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV8vB1BB2qc\" target=\"_blank\">A Boyz II Men video?? \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson are back in agreement over the memorial's placement and, just at the moment they are about to make out, Thomas the Scaremonger brings in a policeman. Turns out the policeman is at Downton because there are some new questions about the untimely death of Anna’s Rapist. Hughes, who a moment before was finally about to kiss the man of her dreams, goes white. As usual, she knows too much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Mary's Less Attractive Suitor From Last Season: \u003c/strong>I'm putting him in the ranking because he broke the glass ceiling of the Abbey. He said the word \"sex\" in the library and no one died. Kudos, sir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Tony: \u003c/strong>His old rival may have \u003cem>said \u003c/em>sex, but Tony meant it. The adjoining rooms and the slow jam references speak for themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Cora:\u003c/strong> Cora seems to be growing tired of Donk's hot air lifestyle and she's flirting hard with the New Cast Member. Get it, Cora.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Mary: \u003c/strong>I'm proud of Mary for going on her Sex Vacation and for procuring birth control, even if she did shamelessly use Anna to do it. She’s a modern woman, checking into hotels and perfecting her already excellent lying game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Hughes: \u003c/strong>Hughes may not be in every scene or be the most compelling, but as usual she is aware of every plot and has a hand in most of them. Will she save Bates from another stint in the Big House?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tune in next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Friends! The ash has settled and we’ve arrived at the second episode of \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>Season 5! \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">(Missed the first? Read all about it.)\u003c/a> I can hardly wait! Is Downton still standing? How does Lord Grantham feel about how the village feels about him?! As usual: \u003cstrong>Spoiler Alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The servants begin cleaning Edith’s charred remains of a room (echoing the charred remains of her life perhaps?) and Anna finds a picture of Marigold and shows it to Mrs. Hughes. So much for that secret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The committee and Carson walk with their new obnoxious patron, Donk. By the way, something I missed last episode was that Baby Sibby is now calling Lord Grantham “Donk” after the donkey in Pin the Tail on the Donkey. In memory of Baby Sibby’s perfect mother, I will henceforth refer to Robert Grantham as Donk. Anyway, the village and Carson want the memorial on the cricket field and Donk wants cricket on the cricket field. Classic Donk: putting sports over human lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas and Jimmy have a strange parting, in which Jimmy starts by saying he can’t believe he’s friends with a real life homosexual and then adds, “I’m sad to see the back of you, I am.” Really, writing team? That’s an interesting choice. The music swells.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Mrs. Patmore loads a huge tray for Molesley, which is a perfect time for Molesley to ask for a promotion to first footman (he’s definitely going to drop that tray).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, everyone talks about Baby George (stop talking about your kids and go hang out with them!) and Mary calls Edith an idiot, which everyone pretty much ignores. Mary then lies to her family and tells them she is going on a “sketching vacation” with her friend “Annabell.” It’s a sex vacation, Mary. That’s what it’s called.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tensions build between Carson and Donk over the location of the war memorial. Sigh. So this plot really is sticking around for another episode…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose thinks about asking for a radio and Donk nearly has a heart attack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s Farm, the Baby Watcher (Hot Firefighter) sets Edith up to “take a greater interest” in Marigold. His wife is not super cool with that because Marigold is so cute and perfect and her name is Marigold, but the Baby Watcher pushes on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a tea for the old people, Violet totally calls Isobel out about her Fancy Lord Suitor in front of her Doctor Suitor. Daaaang, Violet is cold! Players have to play, Violet. Let Isobel play!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, Thomas channels his sadness over Jimmy leaving by harassing Baxter and Gallant Mr. Molesley. Talk to a therapist, dude! That’s what the rest of us do!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore and Rose conspire to get Daisy educated by the Hatless School Teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna is in on the sex vacation. Anna points out that Mary, for the first time in her life, will be undertaking the arduous task of taking her own clothing on and off by herself. Oh no! But how will she manage her hats?! After the uncomfortable clothing discussion, the talk turns to birth control and Mary takes the opportunity to guilt Anna into buying her a diaphragm by reminding Anna of the fact that her husband is a murderer and also that Mary’s own husband is dead, saying, “…you’re married, with a living husband!”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas smokes menacingly and tries to convince the Noble Molesley that Baxter’s past as a jewel thief makes \u003cem>her\u003c/em> the bad guy. Speak his name and he shall appear: the real criminal, Bates, waltzes in to tell Thomas to shut his yapper. Snitches in ditches, amiright?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bored writing staff has Donk make a joke about Downton being a hotel for the second time in as many episodes (\u003ca href=\"http://britmovietours.com/bookings/downton-abbey-tour-experience/\" target=\"_blank\">product placement?\u003c/a>). Cora, playing the part of the audience, says: “You’ve already made that joke.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Edith tells her parents the suspicious story of how she’s taken an interest in the Farmer Firefighter’s Unwanted Adoptee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose continues to angle for a wireless. Doesn’t she have parents of her own she can beg for new advanced technology toys?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Ross and Rachel (Hughes and Carson) disagree over the war memorial's placement. It’s ripping the whole house apart!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Anna attempts to buy a prophylactic. Bet you thought you'd never see that sentence in a \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> recap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the School Teacher and Daisy get set up for tutoring \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\" target=\"_blank\">(see my previous predictions).\u003c/a> Also, Julian Fellowes, if you’d like to hire me for your writing team, I am potentially available, though I'm not sure you can afford me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Cora joins the team lobbying for a wireless. Donk, the Molesley of upstairs, says: “[The wireless] is a fad! It won’t last.” Poor guy is never going to be on the right side of history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe shine room, Molesley confronts Baxter the Thief about the thievery. Molesley, like us, wants to know the real reason Baxter turned to crime. Baxter, the Angel from Heaven, will not tell. This, of course, is how we know she is an angel from heaven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the tea with the Fancy Lord Suitor, Violet openly taunts Isobel about the burgeoning romance. Can you imagine a third grade Violet finding out someone had a crush on someone else? Uuugh, Violet, stop!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, the Feminist Society (Anna and Mary) meet to discuss Anna’s judgment at the hands of the pharmacist and a women’s right to birth control, but they do it in such a fun, flirty way it almost doesn't make you hate feminism!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, a new cast member ogles a painting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Meddlesome Thomas tells Meddlesome Rose that the School Teacher is downstairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary’s Less Attractive Suitor From Last Season acts grumpy about the fact that he wasn’t “the lucky winner” of Mary’s cold, barely beating heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the School Teacher doesn’t want to go to dinner, but she does want to inspire Tom to shake the gilded bonds of the Abbey. Too bad she’s not even remotely as fun and cool and cute as Sybil, because I kind of like her attitude.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, the New Cast Member flirts with Cora and Donk tries to fight with the School Teacher in absentia. Unfortunately, her “once more unto the breach, dear friends” speech inspired Tom and he comes to the defense of the Russian Revolution.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Imperialist Donk seems to finally be swayed towards the wireless when he hears that the King is going to be on it. Carson uses this as an opportunity to get in a metaphorical point about Donk’s attitude about the placement of the war memorial saying: “…even kings must bow to pressure sometimes.” Touché, Carson. Compare Donk to a king to stoke his ego and then tell him to sit the F down. Well played. Oh wait, maybe he’s actually just talking about the wireless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Molesley looks sad and Baxter the Angelic Thief continues to refuse to tell anyone why she stole the jewels. This is getting tiresome, Baxter. Why don’t you just kiss Molesley so we can move on?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the room with all the paintings, maybe the New Cast Member isn’t so new? He appears to have a past with Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, there is discord in the Hughes/Carson Harmony Machine because \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxxajLWwzqY\" target=\"_blank\">Carson is from the '70s and Hughes is a '90s…chick\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s room, Cora still can’t decide whether or not to sack Baxter. Spoiler: I really doubt she will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Mary and the Less Attractive Suitor get into a heated debate about the difference between sex and love, a debate which actually involves the use of the word “sex.” Have they ever used this smutty, graphic term before? Is it even legal to say on televison?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the bedroom, Donk nearly has an aneurism when it occurs to him that Tom might leave Downton and take Baby Sibby with him. He basically gets in a yelling fight with himself. Dear Donk, I'm suggesting for you what I suggested earlier for Thomas: get some therapy, please. Then, in an especially cute maneuver, he tells Cora to tell the New Cast Member to stop flirting with Isis. Oh, Isis is who he’s flirting with?? He says: “There is nothing more ill-bred than trying to steal the affections of someone else’s dog!” and then slams his head down on his pillow. Hey, Donk, I’m no aristocrat, but I have this feeling that it is super “ill-bred\" to pay more attention to your dog than your wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary’s room, the Feminist Society has a bit of schism when Anna slut shames Mary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Carson and Donk meet a war widow, who inspires them to silently agree on putting the memorial in the center of town. Can we be done with this plot line now?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the a hall, as the wireless is installed, Daisy says: “Why is it called a wireless when there’s so many wires?” Classic Seinfeld Daisy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Baby Watcher’s House, the Baby Watcher’s Wife doesn’t believe that Edith is really going to care at all about Marigold long term. It seems reasonable to let the wife in on the secret of Marigold's parentage because what’s going to happen when Michael comes back? I mean, he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> to come back, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, upstairs and downstairs folks and even the babies gather around the wireless. Everyone stands when the King speaks because they don't seem to realize he can't see or hear them. Welcome to the future, you innocent babies! Next stop: Google Glass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also in the future, Mary arrives in Liverpool for her Sex Vacation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sullenly smokes and tells Anna sadly that nobody likes him. I mean, why do you think that’s the case, Thomas? Could it be your weekly plot against whomever you see first on your way to breakfast?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Tony arrive in Liverpool for their Sex Vacation and they have adjoining rooms, which is going to be helpful because Tony has plans for them to “make love all night long.” Geez Louise! What is this? \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV8vB1BB2qc\" target=\"_blank\">A Boyz II Men video?? \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson are back in agreement over the memorial's placement and, just at the moment they are about to make out, Thomas the Scaremonger brings in a policeman. Turns out the policeman is at Downton because there are some new questions about the untimely death of Anna’s Rapist. Hughes, who a moment before was finally about to kiss the man of her dreams, goes white. As usual, she knows too much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Mary's Less Attractive Suitor From Last Season: \u003c/strong>I'm putting him in the ranking because he broke the glass ceiling of the Abbey. He said the word \"sex\" in the library and no one died. Kudos, sir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Tony: \u003c/strong>His old rival may have \u003cem>said \u003c/em>sex, but Tony meant it. The adjoining rooms and the slow jam references speak for themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Cora:\u003c/strong> Cora seems to be growing tired of Donk's hot air lifestyle and she's flirting hard with the New Cast Member. Get it, Cora.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Mary: \u003c/strong>I'm proud of Mary for going on her Sex Vacation and for procuring birth control, even if she did shamelessly use Anna to do it. She’s a modern woman, checking into hotels and perfecting her already excellent lying game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Hughes: \u003c/strong>Hughes may not be in every scene or be the most compelling, but as usual she is aware of every plot and has a hand in most of them. Will she save Bates from another stint in the Big House?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tune in next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>http://bcove.me/ffyu41ck\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you missed \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">our season premiere recap\u003c/a> and/or have been living under a rock that doesn't have TV or internet access, \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> is back! Every year at this time, a few of the actors hop over the pond to grace America's awkward talk show circuit, where the main remark is always \"Wow, you all look so different in regular clothes!\" Thankfully, \u003ca href=\"http://popwatch.ew.com/2015/01/06/watch-the-ladies-of-downton-abbey-play-cards-against-humanity/\">\u003cem>Entertainment Weekly\u003c/em> changed it up\u003c/a> and asked Lady Edith, Mrs. Patmore, and Mrs. Hughes to play Cards Against Humanity. And you thought you'd never hear these ladies discuss bitch slaps, balls, and farting and walking away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cp>Friends! Welcome back to the wonderful world of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> recaps! How have you been? How is your pig farm? Your missing/dead spouse? Your murdered valet? Your orphan child? Are you ready to get back into the mud? Get dirty and not talk too much about our feelings? Because here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The music is starting and the dog is walking toward the house and the bell rings for someone. Maybe it's you! Want to get caught up before we get started on Season 5? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/24/downton-abbey-season-4-finale-recap-bonjour-et-au-revoir/\" target=\"_blank\">Here's the recap from last year's finale.\u003c/a> As before so it will be again: \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>. Now, to the Abbey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We begin with Edith on a bicycle! Such a modern woman! Where could she be going, a woman on her own, unescorted?? Well, to spy on her baby of course! Michael, her almost-husband, is obviously still missing and yes, we have a new baby on the block, but this baby is so low class she plays with laundry! Outside! Oh, Edith, please rescue this baby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, it is 1924. Rose is still living at Downton. As they are wont to do whenever youngs and olds mix in the drawing room, things get political and nonsensical, and Robert makes sure his first line of the season is problematic, saying: “I couldn’t care less if he [the prime minister?] was the son of Fu Manchu.” Class warfare starts early this season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tom Branson jumps in with some comment about how he wants to “support the school more” (with romance because he loves the teacher!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For whimsical and cuteness reasons, we get all the babies and Isis, the dog, in a single scene. They are all getting so big! Maybe it's time for a spin-off series?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy and Patmore are back in action! Things are getting really descriptive—Hughes gets in a bunch of explanatory stuff about the general situation of service people in Great Britain and then Daisy does her adorable baby impression, talking fancifully about the distant future of 1958. By my calculation, Daisy is like 86 at this point in Downton Time. Why is she still talking like a baby?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Baby Watcher's Farm, Edith’s baby appears distressingly to be about the same age as Baby Sibby and Baby Whatever Boy Name, unless maybe she's just a huge baby and a future basketball legend? Sobbing as she leaves, Edith is clearly not 100% cool with her farmed-out baby situation. Don't cry though, Edith! Your baby is named Marigold!! Best name on the show yet. I’m naming all my babies Marigold! No one take that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The old ladies go for a walk and talk about boys boys boys. This would \u003cem>not\u003c/em> pass the \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test\" target=\"_blank\">Bechdel test\u003c/a>. The Dowager Countess starts the season strong by telling Mrs. Crawley that her new suitor just “wants what all men want.” So funny because sex! And old people! Ewwwwww!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Thomas and the cute footman Jimmy are flirting in the dark corners. Carson catches them and is not cool with the obvious sex talk. Hey, Carson, everyone's doing it, bro. Stop being such a prude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Rose is clearly taking Sybil’s place. Doesn't anyone remember Sybil?! Her of the original rebelliousness and the actual style? R.I.P. Sybil. I'll never forget you and your slender ankles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses do some more explicating and backstory-ing and Thomas does his Thomas-y thing and sneaks up behind the current target of his maliciousness, Baxter, and tries to pump her for information. Is this Thomas’ season? Will he finally take down Downton, causing the sun to go dark and the water to dry up, and rule the grounds and the village like Scar did in Simba’s absence?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things get political before dinner downstairs. They also get political upstairs in bed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very Important Plot Point Alert: The Village War Memorial. Where will it go?! Carson, it turns out, is “a considerable figure in the village” and some ladies want him to chair some committee that will oversee this Very Important Plot Point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As usual, a second crucial plot point comes through the mail: James is getting a ton of love letters from Old Boss the Cougar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager House, Robert chats with his mom about how sad he is that the village wants Carson to head a committee and not him. Mommy is like “Your dad wouldn't have stood for that.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, more mysterious mail arrives! This time, it's for Daisy! Drama! Suspense!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson is still deciding whether or not to chair this stupid committee and it is going to tear this family apart! The very fabric of society is threatened. Whatever choice he makes will change history, I’m sure of it! (Look, I’m trying to pep up this incredibly dull memorial/Robert's ego based plot line until we can get back to Edith’s illegitimate baby.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert tells Cora she doesn’t need to know the details about Tom’s School Teacher. Ladies don’t need to busy their tiny heads with \u003cem>details\u003c/em>, Cora. You should know that by now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary, the cold, feelingless monster, is super stoked that the village likes Carson more than her dad. She just likes to see her family feel bad, for whatever reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the school, Tom’s School Teacher love interest is so modern! She’s not even wearing a hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager House, Violet interrogates one of Mrs. Crawley’s many suitors, the doctor. Is Violet trying to set up some sort of geriatric love triangle? How bored is she?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In front of a fire, Robert pretends he so doesn’t care that the village likes Carson more than him. Mary, in a strange moment of “kindness”, says to her dad: “I want you.” Not super appropriate, Mary. This is 1924, not, I don’t know, some time when incest was popular or social acceptable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, Thomas threatens Baxter. As usual. Again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith romantically touches a book. Could this book please be a clue to the whereabouts of Marigold's father?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy reveals that her mail was about a course she's taking because, as she says: “I want to be grown up!” Hey, girl, you're in, at the very least, your late 20s at this point. You're a grown-up. Or...does she have some sort of disease that keeps her young forever?? Oh no, she’s just dyslexic. Is this dyslexia the reason Thomas has been able to trick her so many times? I didn’t realize being susceptible to villains was a side effect of dyslexia. Maybe it's just an unrelated condition she also has. Guys, Daisy’s dyslexia will be a plot point. Mark my words\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bathroom somewhere, Molesley dyes his hair black.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an office somewhere, Rose the Little Upstart tries to convince Tom to bring the School Teacher to the house. Oh, Rose! First you consorted with an African-American jazz singer and now you encourage your cousin-in-law to see a school teacher?! When will it stop?! My heart can’t take this sort of scandal-induced stress!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, the Granthams lie about how happy they are that the village wants Carson on a committee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an alley, Edith talks with Baby Watcher about Marigold, Best Baby Yet. The farmer tells Edith he knows she is Marigold’s mom. Really? What gave it away? The shirt she always wears when she’s visiting that says “World's Best Mom of a Marigold!”? Or was it the tears?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson delivers to Hughes the one-line summary of this episode: “But he was sad, not at me but maybe because things are changing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Bateses flirt mercilessly over cards in the downstairs dining room. We get it. You’re in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jimmy and Thomas flirt mercilessly over cigarettes. We get it. You’re in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet continues on whatever scheme she’s on that seems like maybe it actually doesn’t involve setting Isobel up? She makes a \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em> joke, which allows us to forget about our confusion momentarily.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Molesley counsels Baxter on how to deal with Thomas of Dark Corners. How is he the voice of reason here? How is he the only one who realizes that, in all situations, Thomas is the villain, forever, always, until he dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, the music swells as the Grantham girls eye Branson and start scheming away some sort of plan for the parents’ anniversary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Help Cartel (Carson/Hughes/Patmore) discuss Daisy’s seditious desire to learn basic math.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary and Mrs. Bates finally have a few minutes alone for Mary to say rude things and make oblique references to sex followed by comments about how gross it is to talk about sex. Hey, Mary, remember that time you basically had sex with a dead guy?! That seems pretty gross to me, but I guess I’m a total prude. Guess who’s not though, suddenly? Mary! Who tells Anna that she totally believes in checking out the equipment pre-maritally! Bow chicka wowow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson sets up Bates to be the valet for Lord Gillingham—oh, my favorite of Mary's suitors, the Pirate!—whose previous valet was, oh you know, just Anna's rapist who was murdered by Bates!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose ambushes the Hatless Political School Teacher at the school to convince her to come to the anniversary party. Uh oh. Lord Grantham is gonna be so piiiiisssssssssed. Good old Rose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, Violet’s Torture Isobel Tea gets underway. The love triangle appears to be taking on more complex shapes. Violet should potentially take up knitting. She’s clearly bored out of her skull and is playing around with Isobel’s life for a laugh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tony the Pirate shows up in the library. He and Mary flirt about guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At tea, more flirting: this time, the doctor with Isobel. Isobel gets jealous over the other, fancy man suitor who seems to be overly enjoying Mrs. Shackleton (so many characters—\u003ca href=\"http://downtonabbey.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Shackleton\" target=\"_blank\">I’m going to need to check the fan wiki to see if we’ve met her before\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas steals a pair of shoes and corners Baxter in a shoe shining room and threatens to tell her story to her ladyship. What is her story?! It’s probably worse than she once invited a school teacher over, at least, that’s what her terrified crying is saying to me…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pirate, Mary and Tom walk in the foggy woods with guns. Who will die today? Mary tells the Pirate she’s a Buddhist. Or maybe a sociopath. She says: “Tony, I do love you, you know, in my cold and unfeeling way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A familiar looking stranger sweeps into Downton, her car apparently having broken down. Suddenly, the third-tier Jimmy plot is becoming clear. This is the old lady who’s in love with him. I mean, she’s not that old…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out of nowhere, Lord Grantham gets inappropriate again: “Molesley, you look very Latin all of a sudden. Do you have Italian blood?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe the hair dye did contain a transfusion of Italian blood, if Italian blood makes you into a wise, good person, because once again, Molesley is the only voice of reason in the whole house, telling Baxter to just tell Lady Grantham whatever her terrible story is (she knows a school teacher, she is a quarter Italian, she put the soap on the floor that caused the Lady to slip and lose her baby).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Baxter tells Lady Grantham her big secret. She’s a super duper thief who did prison time for stealing jewels. Now, if there is one thing I know, it is that whatever Baxter’s motive for her crime, which she will not yet reveal as a British person who values her dignity and the slow pacing of a good plot over everything else, whatever her motive, it will completely exonerate her from everything. Like, probably the people she stole the jewels from were Nazis and she gave them back to the Jews the Nazis originally stole them from. Or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Murderer Bates menacingly brushes the Pirate's coat, fishing for info on the person he murdered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter and Molesley talk about trust. So romantic. This is clearly the romance of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, the Old Boss Cougar sexually harasses Jimmy hard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, all the plots converge as the School Teacher enters and Lord Grantham looks on aghast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The older ladies are also here, clearly a bit miffed with each other about the earlier tea party. Violet works hard to remind Edith about the Downton caste system. Oh, Violet, did you not hear Carson announce the theme of the episode?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, Lord Grantham objectifies Lady Grantham by calling her “a bumper prize.” Way to rub in the fact that she’s alive to the many, many people in the room with dead spouses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Old Boss Cougar continues to openly fondle Jimmy at the dinner table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The School Teacher gets political about the war memorial. She apparently hates stones. And wars, but mainly stones. Which of course makes Robert \u003cem>super\u003c/em> pissed. Hey, guys, aren’t there rules about talking politics with old people at dinner? Or was that instituted in the Reagan years?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh no! The School Teacher calls out Robert’s saddest thing: the fact that the village hates him and doesn’t want him on their committee. Things get wild, by which I mean everyone goes silent and tries to avoid eye contact. Carson, as usual, rescues the whole thing by concocting some lie about how the village totally actually really does like Lord Grantham. The old ladies get their dander up a bit. Isobel defends the School Teacher for standing up for her anti-stone principles and Violet says: “Principles are like prayers—noble, of course, but awkward at a party.” Put it on a shirt!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson continues to keeps his eyes on all developing situations and demands that Jimmy show him a note the Old Boss Cougar passed him at dinner. Thomas comes to his aid. Oh, definitely, Thomas is someone you want coming to your aid, Jimmy. Totally. Great idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, the School Teacher announces she wants to meet the staff downstairs. Okay. We get it. Political. Branson sure has a type.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith sighs deeply in a corner of the drawing room so Mary comes over to torment her in a not sweet or sisterly way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prediction: The School Teacher has to go downstairs so she can meet Daisy, offer to teach her math, diagnose her learning disability and then save the day by teaching her strategies to deal with it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the bottom of the stairs, Thomas tries to tell Cora about Baxter the Thief’s horrible shameful past and it backfires! Cora sort of calls him out. Thomas is probably going to murder Baxter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Branson and Robert exchange heated words, which quickly become unheated. Mainly, they say the word “lover” in a sort of uncomfortable way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cora’s bedroom, Honorable Baxter refuses to reveal her criminal motivations. But Cora never fires a lady’s maid, even when they kill her unborn baby, so Baxter gets a reprieve. For now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson tells Molesley that his sad dye job is dumb.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her room, Edith throws the old Michael clue book at the fire and starts crying. And then it catches on fire. Is Downton about to burn down?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Tony the Pirate sneaks into Mary’s room like a good pirate and Thomas and Jimmy, who are about to engage in some illicit behavior of their own, see him. Great. More ammo for Thomas. Can we please fire him, like, yesterday?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's room, Tony has clearly overheard Mary’s talk with Anna and he says: “I want us to be lovers, Mary.” Lovers: the word of the episode!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, as the fire breaks out, Thomas gets to be a hero. Sand is thrown, hoses unfurled, babies rescued, and Jimmy is caught in a compromising position with Old Boss Cougar. Firefighters dressed as knights show up and everything is okay enough for Mary to tell the Bateses: “Lady Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we’re all fine.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert fires Jimmy for his naked wrestling and conveniently one of the firefighters is the Baby Watcher and Hughes, of course, knows something is up when she sees Edith consorting with him, but Hughes probably already knows everything anyway because she's Hughes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Tony the Pirate:\u003c/strong> The Pirate is hot and I am so glad Mary chose him over the much-less-pirate-y Pig Farmer. He hasn't done much yet, but I believe in him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Marigold:\u003c/strong> The newest baby also hasn't done much yet, but come on, she's named Marigold! Plus, her dad is in a camp somewhere starving to death and her mom is setting houses on fire due to sadness and she's being forced to play with laundry, while her cousins are probably swimming in pools of gold pieces and eating chocolate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Violet: \u003c/strong>She had some misses this episode, but her prayers-at-parties line was solid. I hope the fact that she left the party early doesn't mean she's dying!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Molesley:\u003c/strong> He's really coming into his own now that he's 52! His pathetic guise may make him the perfect person to take down Thomas. Fingers crossed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Mary:\u003c/strong> I used to hate Mary, but somehow, her consistent nastiness is growing on me. She's a horrible, horrible person and she knows it. I can't wait to see what kind of emotional damage she inflicts this season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See you guys next week!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Downton Abbey has returned at last! If you haven't seen the episode yet, pretend you never saw this. Everyone else, join us for a hilarious analysis of the season premiere!",
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"description": "Downton Abbey has returned at last! If you haven't seen the episode yet, pretend you never saw this. Everyone else, join us for a hilarious analysis of the season premiere!",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Friends! Welcome back to the wonderful world of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> recaps! How have you been? How is your pig farm? Your missing/dead spouse? Your murdered valet? Your orphan child? Are you ready to get back into the mud? Get dirty and not talk too much about our feelings? Because here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The music is starting and the dog is walking toward the house and the bell rings for someone. Maybe it's you! Want to get caught up before we get started on Season 5? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/24/downton-abbey-season-4-finale-recap-bonjour-et-au-revoir/\" target=\"_blank\">Here's the recap from last year's finale.\u003c/a> As before so it will be again: \u003cstrong>SPOILER ALERT\u003c/strong>. Now, to the Abbey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We begin with Edith on a bicycle! Such a modern woman! Where could she be going, a woman on her own, unescorted?? Well, to spy on her baby of course! Michael, her almost-husband, is obviously still missing and yes, we have a new baby on the block, but this baby is so low class she plays with laundry! Outside! Oh, Edith, please rescue this baby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, it is 1924. Rose is still living at Downton. As they are wont to do whenever youngs and olds mix in the drawing room, things get political and nonsensical, and Robert makes sure his first line of the season is problematic, saying: “I couldn’t care less if he [the prime minister?] was the son of Fu Manchu.” Class warfare starts early this season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tom Branson jumps in with some comment about how he wants to “support the school more” (with romance because he loves the teacher!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For whimsical and cuteness reasons, we get all the babies and Isis, the dog, in a single scene. They are all getting so big! Maybe it's time for a spin-off series?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy and Patmore are back in action! Things are getting really descriptive—Hughes gets in a bunch of explanatory stuff about the general situation of service people in Great Britain and then Daisy does her adorable baby impression, talking fancifully about the distant future of 1958. By my calculation, Daisy is like 86 at this point in Downton Time. Why is she still talking like a baby?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Baby Watcher's Farm, Edith’s baby appears distressingly to be about the same age as Baby Sibby and Baby Whatever Boy Name, unless maybe she's just a huge baby and a future basketball legend? Sobbing as she leaves, Edith is clearly not 100% cool with her farmed-out baby situation. Don't cry though, Edith! Your baby is named Marigold!! Best name on the show yet. I’m naming all my babies Marigold! No one take that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The old ladies go for a walk and talk about boys boys boys. This would \u003cem>not\u003c/em> pass the \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test\" target=\"_blank\">Bechdel test\u003c/a>. The Dowager Countess starts the season strong by telling Mrs. Crawley that her new suitor just “wants what all men want.” So funny because sex! And old people! Ewwwwww!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Thomas and the cute footman Jimmy are flirting in the dark corners. Carson catches them and is not cool with the obvious sex talk. Hey, Carson, everyone's doing it, bro. Stop being such a prude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Rose is clearly taking Sybil’s place. Doesn't anyone remember Sybil?! Her of the original rebelliousness and the actual style? R.I.P. Sybil. I'll never forget you and your slender ankles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Bateses do some more explicating and backstory-ing and Thomas does his Thomas-y thing and sneaks up behind the current target of his maliciousness, Baxter, and tries to pump her for information. Is this Thomas’ season? Will he finally take down Downton, causing the sun to go dark and the water to dry up, and rule the grounds and the village like Scar did in Simba’s absence?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things get political before dinner downstairs. They also get political upstairs in bed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very Important Plot Point Alert: The Village War Memorial. Where will it go?! Carson, it turns out, is “a considerable figure in the village” and some ladies want him to chair some committee that will oversee this Very Important Plot Point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As usual, a second crucial plot point comes through the mail: James is getting a ton of love letters from Old Boss the Cougar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager House, Robert chats with his mom about how sad he is that the village wants Carson to head a committee and not him. Mommy is like “Your dad wouldn't have stood for that.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, more mysterious mail arrives! This time, it's for Daisy! Drama! Suspense!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson is still deciding whether or not to chair this stupid committee and it is going to tear this family apart! The very fabric of society is threatened. Whatever choice he makes will change history, I’m sure of it! (Look, I’m trying to pep up this incredibly dull memorial/Robert's ego based plot line until we can get back to Edith’s illegitimate baby.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert tells Cora she doesn’t need to know the details about Tom’s School Teacher. Ladies don’t need to busy their tiny heads with \u003cem>details\u003c/em>, Cora. You should know that by now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary, the cold, feelingless monster, is super stoked that the village likes Carson more than her dad. She just likes to see her family feel bad, for whatever reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the school, Tom’s School Teacher love interest is so modern! She’s not even wearing a hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager House, Violet interrogates one of Mrs. Crawley’s many suitors, the doctor. Is Violet trying to set up some sort of geriatric love triangle? How bored is she?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In front of a fire, Robert pretends he so doesn’t care that the village likes Carson more than him. Mary, in a strange moment of “kindness”, says to her dad: “I want you.” Not super appropriate, Mary. This is 1924, not, I don’t know, some time when incest was popular or social acceptable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs, Thomas threatens Baxter. As usual. Again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith romantically touches a book. Could this book please be a clue to the whereabouts of Marigold's father?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy reveals that her mail was about a course she's taking because, as she says: “I want to be grown up!” Hey, girl, you're in, at the very least, your late 20s at this point. You're a grown-up. Or...does she have some sort of disease that keeps her young forever?? Oh no, she’s just dyslexic. Is this dyslexia the reason Thomas has been able to trick her so many times? I didn’t realize being susceptible to villains was a side effect of dyslexia. Maybe it's just an unrelated condition she also has. Guys, Daisy’s dyslexia will be a plot point. Mark my words\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bathroom somewhere, Molesley dyes his hair black.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an office somewhere, Rose the Little Upstart tries to convince Tom to bring the School Teacher to the house. Oh, Rose! First you consorted with an African-American jazz singer and now you encourage your cousin-in-law to see a school teacher?! When will it stop?! My heart can’t take this sort of scandal-induced stress!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, the Granthams lie about how happy they are that the village wants Carson on a committee.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an alley, Edith talks with Baby Watcher about Marigold, Best Baby Yet. The farmer tells Edith he knows she is Marigold’s mom. Really? What gave it away? The shirt she always wears when she’s visiting that says “World's Best Mom of a Marigold!”? Or was it the tears?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson delivers to Hughes the one-line summary of this episode: “But he was sad, not at me but maybe because things are changing.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Bateses flirt mercilessly over cards in the downstairs dining room. We get it. You’re in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jimmy and Thomas flirt mercilessly over cigarettes. We get it. You’re in love.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet continues on whatever scheme she’s on that seems like maybe it actually doesn’t involve setting Isobel up? She makes a \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em> joke, which allows us to forget about our confusion momentarily.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Molesley counsels Baxter on how to deal with Thomas of Dark Corners. How is he the voice of reason here? How is he the only one who realizes that, in all situations, Thomas is the villain, forever, always, until he dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, the music swells as the Grantham girls eye Branson and start scheming away some sort of plan for the parents’ anniversary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the Help Cartel (Carson/Hughes/Patmore) discuss Daisy’s seditious desire to learn basic math.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary and Mrs. Bates finally have a few minutes alone for Mary to say rude things and make oblique references to sex followed by comments about how gross it is to talk about sex. Hey, Mary, remember that time you basically had sex with a dead guy?! That seems pretty gross to me, but I guess I’m a total prude. Guess who’s not though, suddenly? Mary! Who tells Anna that she totally believes in checking out the equipment pre-maritally! Bow chicka wowow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson sets up Bates to be the valet for Lord Gillingham—oh, my favorite of Mary's suitors, the Pirate!—whose previous valet was, oh you know, just Anna's rapist who was murdered by Bates!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose ambushes the Hatless Political School Teacher at the school to convince her to come to the anniversary party. Uh oh. Lord Grantham is gonna be so piiiiisssssssssed. Good old Rose.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, Violet’s Torture Isobel Tea gets underway. The love triangle appears to be taking on more complex shapes. Violet should potentially take up knitting. She’s clearly bored out of her skull and is playing around with Isobel’s life for a laugh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tony the Pirate shows up in the library. He and Mary flirt about guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At tea, more flirting: this time, the doctor with Isobel. Isobel gets jealous over the other, fancy man suitor who seems to be overly enjoying Mrs. Shackleton (so many characters—\u003ca href=\"http://downtonabbey.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Shackleton\" target=\"_blank\">I’m going to need to check the fan wiki to see if we’ve met her before\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas steals a pair of shoes and corners Baxter in a shoe shining room and threatens to tell her story to her ladyship. What is her story?! It’s probably worse than she once invited a school teacher over, at least, that’s what her terrified crying is saying to me…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pirate, Mary and Tom walk in the foggy woods with guns. Who will die today? Mary tells the Pirate she’s a Buddhist. Or maybe a sociopath. She says: “Tony, I do love you, you know, in my cold and unfeeling way.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A familiar looking stranger sweeps into Downton, her car apparently having broken down. Suddenly, the third-tier Jimmy plot is becoming clear. This is the old lady who’s in love with him. I mean, she’s not that old…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out of nowhere, Lord Grantham gets inappropriate again: “Molesley, you look very Latin all of a sudden. Do you have Italian blood?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe the hair dye did contain a transfusion of Italian blood, if Italian blood makes you into a wise, good person, because once again, Molesley is the only voice of reason in the whole house, telling Baxter to just tell Lady Grantham whatever her terrible story is (she knows a school teacher, she is a quarter Italian, she put the soap on the floor that caused the Lady to slip and lose her baby).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Baxter tells Lady Grantham her big secret. She’s a super duper thief who did prison time for stealing jewels. Now, if there is one thing I know, it is that whatever Baxter’s motive for her crime, which she will not yet reveal as a British person who values her dignity and the slow pacing of a good plot over everything else, whatever her motive, it will completely exonerate her from everything. Like, probably the people she stole the jewels from were Nazis and she gave them back to the Jews the Nazis originally stole them from. Or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Murderer Bates menacingly brushes the Pirate's coat, fishing for info on the person he murdered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter and Molesley talk about trust. So romantic. This is clearly the romance of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, the Old Boss Cougar sexually harasses Jimmy hard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, all the plots converge as the School Teacher enters and Lord Grantham looks on aghast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The older ladies are also here, clearly a bit miffed with each other about the earlier tea party. Violet works hard to remind Edith about the Downton caste system. Oh, Violet, did you not hear Carson announce the theme of the episode?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, Lord Grantham objectifies Lady Grantham by calling her “a bumper prize.” Way to rub in the fact that she’s alive to the many, many people in the room with dead spouses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Old Boss Cougar continues to openly fondle Jimmy at the dinner table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The School Teacher gets political about the war memorial. She apparently hates stones. And wars, but mainly stones. Which of course makes Robert \u003cem>super\u003c/em> pissed. 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Can we please fire him, like, yesterday?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's room, Tony has clearly overheard Mary’s talk with Anna and he says: “I want us to be lovers, Mary.” Lovers: the word of the episode!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, as the fire breaks out, Thomas gets to be a hero. Sand is thrown, hoses unfurled, babies rescued, and Jimmy is caught in a compromising position with Old Boss Cougar. Firefighters dressed as knights show up and everything is okay enough for Mary to tell the Bateses: “Lady Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we’re all fine.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert fires Jimmy for his naked wrestling and conveniently one of the firefighters is the Baby Watcher and Hughes, of course, knows something is up when she sees Edith consorting with him, but Hughes probably already knows everything anyway because she's Hughes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Tony the Pirate:\u003c/strong> The Pirate is hot and I am so glad Mary chose him over the much-less-pirate-y Pig Farmer. He hasn't done much yet, but I believe in him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Marigold:\u003c/strong> The newest baby also hasn't done much yet, but come on, she's named Marigold! Plus, her dad is in a camp somewhere starving to death and her mom is setting houses on fire due to sadness and she's being forced to play with laundry, while her cousins are probably swimming in pools of gold pieces and eating chocolate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Violet: \u003c/strong>She had some misses this episode, but her prayers-at-parties line was solid. I hope the fact that she left the party early doesn't mean she's dying!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Molesley:\u003c/strong> He's really coming into his own now that he's 52! His pathetic guise may make him the perfect person to take down Thomas. Fingers crossed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Mary:\u003c/strong> I used to hate Mary, but somehow, her consistent nastiness is growing on me. She's a horrible, horrible person and she knows it. I can't wait to see what kind of emotional damage she inflicts this season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
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"possible": {
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"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"radiolab": {
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"soldout": {
"id": "soldout",
"title": "SOLD OUT: Rethinking Housing in America",
"tagline": "A new future for housing",
"info": "Sold Out: Rethinking Housing in America",
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