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"content": "\u003cp>When it comes to theme parks, nobody does it better than America. You've got your \u003ca href=\"https://disneyland.disney.go.com/\">Disneys\u003c/a>, and your \u003ca href=\"https://www.universalstudioshollywood.com/\">Universal Studios\u003c/a>, and even your \u003ca href=\"https://www.knotts.com/\">Knott's Berry Farms\u003c/a>. But where American leisure truly distinguishes itself is with the more specialized parks. Think \u003ca href=\"https://paulbunyanland.com/\">Paul Bunyan Land\u003c/a>. Or perhaps \u003ca href=\"https://holylandexperience.com/\">The Holy Land Experience\u003c/a>, a large-scale shrine to Jesus. Then there's \u003ca href=\"https://www.dollywood.com/\">Dollywood\u003c/a>, a park that combines the thrills of Six Flags with the aesthetics of an Appalachian coal mine. And soon—later this year in fact—we've got a shiny new kid on the block in the form of Tyra Banks' Modelland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Banks has been working on the 21,000-square-foot Santa Monica attraction for a decade and is finally on the verge of unveiling it. \"I’m… giving people the opportunity to engage with the elusive [modeling] world by opening it up to everyone,\" \u003ca href=\"https://wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/tyra-banks-is-opening-a-modelland-theme-park-in-santa-monica-1202995446/\">Tyra told \u003cem>WWD\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em> \"Men, women, families, all generations can come and enter this model world for a day, have a fun shopping experience, and an eventful meal... There is a storyline I have been working on for a year.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One can only hope that story has something (everything?) to do with Tyra's 2011 novel, also named \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em>. To give you some idea of why a theme park based on this book would be so amazing, first I need to give you a quick plot synopsis. (And by quick, I mean as short as I could possibly make it because this book is bigger than the bible.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> centers around a girl named Tookie de la Creme, who is the daughter of a one-eyed acrobat named Chris de la Creme and his vain wife, Cremalatta Defacake. (DEFACAKE!) Tookie also has a multi-pageant-winning sister named Myrracle. Myrracle is kind of a B.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, during The Day of Discovery (don't ask), Tookie is given a pass to Modelland by a Scout, where she and other models go in search of their smizes and get told by a magic statue that they’ll never have periods again. There are also “7seven Intoxibellas\" there, who are called things like Larcenina, Shiraz and Evanjalinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, I know. \u003cem>Top Model\u003c/em>'s Miss J is confused, too:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-109180\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/tenor-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Intoxibellas are bestowed with magical powers like Seduksheeon (sex appeal), Multiplicity (ability to clone), Chameeleone (the power to transform), ThirtyNever (only living between the ages of 17 to 29, in a perpetual cycle) and Excite-to-Buy (turning people around you into shopaholics.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other things to note: Tookie's nemesis is named Zarpessa Zarionneaux, and her love interest is Bravo, a beautiful boy from Bestosterone who spent his childhood getting sexually harassed by older women. (Seriously.) At one point, Modelland turns into a prison for no reason and the models have to scale a wall to their own doom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes lightning turns walls into two-way mirrors. And bras evaporate. And the models get attacked by hunchbacks, their own accessories and “pug-sized” monsters known as Tumble Terrors. When they go to the hospital, they are treated by doctors who have roller-skates for feet, and nurses with scissors on their heads. When they shower, dessert comes out instead of water. Sometimes, Tookie is friends with tree-dwelling dumpster divers. None of it makes any sense at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In order to assist Tyra in following the structure of the book faithfully in the construction of the park, I have come up with a number of suggestions for Modelland attractions. They are as follows:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>A Cirque du Soleil show called \u003cem>EyepÀtches de la Creme\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Fashion shows in which models are forced to outrun pugs\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A botox station called ThirtyNever\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Animatronic menses-predicting statues\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A hall of two-way mirrors you may only escape after effectively following critiques from \"Scouts\" (These will include phrases like: \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.wetpaint.com/the-best-quotes-in-americas-next-top-model-history-694163/\">Walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tonight!\u003c/a>\" and \"\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/America%27s_Next_Top_Model\">You walk like you're chewing gum between your legs!\u003c/a>\")\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A golden brassiere-shaped roller coaster, inspired by the unforgettable text: \"You begin your mornings staring at the fog, longing for the fateful evening when it will turn a golden yellow and then, finally, like a push-up brassiere, lift.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A musical hospital drama performed in a roller-rink, nightly\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An escape room containing several hunchbacks\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Whack-a-Zarpessa-Zarionneaux-Mole\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A Cremalatta Defacake dessert truck\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Photobooths that only work if you're smizing\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Assault courses featuring hazardous walls, tree climbing and dumpsters on fire\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Nurses running with scissors, around the park, on the hour, every hour, in no particular direction\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A one-woman show by \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allison_Harvard\">Cycle 12 runner-up, Allison Harvard\u003c/a>, acting out \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> in its entirety, in the cafeteria. (Just because her eyes would probably be very good at that, and you'd probably get hungry halfway through.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An adults-only section called Bravo, Bestosterone! (Featuring \"The Dance of the 7seven Intoxibellas\" and an all-male troupe called \"The Seduksheeon Dancers.\")\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>If this theme park sounds loopy to you, just keep in mind that, when it comes to Tyra Banks, much crazier things have happened...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like her dramatization of \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> on \u003cem>ANTM\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpsiFufZV_4\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Around that time, she recorded a single that sounded like a Destiny's Child knock off:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUBVABdWLxk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, of course, there's this timeless TV moment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k_yQwS_0rU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, oh yeah, \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em>, the book, went on to be a \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> bestseller (!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See you in Santa Monica, Tyra!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When it comes to theme parks, nobody does it better than America. You've got your \u003ca href=\"https://disneyland.disney.go.com/\">Disneys\u003c/a>, and your \u003ca href=\"https://www.universalstudioshollywood.com/\">Universal Studios\u003c/a>, and even your \u003ca href=\"https://www.knotts.com/\">Knott's Berry Farms\u003c/a>. But where American leisure truly distinguishes itself is with the more specialized parks. Think \u003ca href=\"https://paulbunyanland.com/\">Paul Bunyan Land\u003c/a>. Or perhaps \u003ca href=\"https://holylandexperience.com/\">The Holy Land Experience\u003c/a>, a large-scale shrine to Jesus. Then there's \u003ca href=\"https://www.dollywood.com/\">Dollywood\u003c/a>, a park that combines the thrills of Six Flags with the aesthetics of an Appalachian coal mine. And soon—later this year in fact—we've got a shiny new kid on the block in the form of Tyra Banks' Modelland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Banks has been working on the 21,000-square-foot Santa Monica attraction for a decade and is finally on the verge of unveiling it. \"I’m… giving people the opportunity to engage with the elusive [modeling] world by opening it up to everyone,\" \u003ca href=\"https://wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/tyra-banks-is-opening-a-modelland-theme-park-in-santa-monica-1202995446/\">Tyra told \u003cem>WWD\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>.\u003c/em> \"Men, women, families, all generations can come and enter this model world for a day, have a fun shopping experience, and an eventful meal... There is a storyline I have been working on for a year.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One can only hope that story has something (everything?) to do with Tyra's 2011 novel, also named \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em>. To give you some idea of why a theme park based on this book would be so amazing, first I need to give you a quick plot synopsis. (And by quick, I mean as short as I could possibly make it because this book is bigger than the bible.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> centers around a girl named Tookie de la Creme, who is the daughter of a one-eyed acrobat named Chris de la Creme and his vain wife, Cremalatta Defacake. (DEFACAKE!) Tookie also has a multi-pageant-winning sister named Myrracle. Myrracle is kind of a B.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One day, during The Day of Discovery (don't ask), Tookie is given a pass to Modelland by a Scout, where she and other models go in search of their smizes and get told by a magic statue that they’ll never have periods again. There are also “7seven Intoxibellas\" there, who are called things like Larcenina, Shiraz and Evanjalinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, I know. \u003cem>Top Model\u003c/em>'s Miss J is confused, too:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-109180\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/tenor-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Intoxibellas are bestowed with magical powers like Seduksheeon (sex appeal), Multiplicity (ability to clone), Chameeleone (the power to transform), ThirtyNever (only living between the ages of 17 to 29, in a perpetual cycle) and Excite-to-Buy (turning people around you into shopaholics.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other things to note: Tookie's nemesis is named Zarpessa Zarionneaux, and her love interest is Bravo, a beautiful boy from Bestosterone who spent his childhood getting sexually harassed by older women. (Seriously.) At one point, Modelland turns into a prison for no reason and the models have to scale a wall to their own doom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes lightning turns walls into two-way mirrors. And bras evaporate. And the models get attacked by hunchbacks, their own accessories and “pug-sized” monsters known as Tumble Terrors. When they go to the hospital, they are treated by doctors who have roller-skates for feet, and nurses with scissors on their heads. When they shower, dessert comes out instead of water. Sometimes, Tookie is friends with tree-dwelling dumpster divers. None of it makes any sense at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In order to assist Tyra in following the structure of the book faithfully in the construction of the park, I have come up with a number of suggestions for Modelland attractions. They are as follows:\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>A Cirque du Soleil show called \u003cem>EyepÀtches de la Creme\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Fashion shows in which models are forced to outrun pugs\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A botox station called ThirtyNever\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Animatronic menses-predicting statues\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A hall of two-way mirrors you may only escape after effectively following critiques from \"Scouts\" (These will include phrases like: \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.wetpaint.com/the-best-quotes-in-americas-next-top-model-history-694163/\">Walk like it's for sale and the rent is due tonight!\u003c/a>\" and \"\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/America%27s_Next_Top_Model\">You walk like you're chewing gum between your legs!\u003c/a>\")\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A golden brassiere-shaped roller coaster, inspired by the unforgettable text: \"You begin your mornings staring at the fog, longing for the fateful evening when it will turn a golden yellow and then, finally, like a push-up brassiere, lift.\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A musical hospital drama performed in a roller-rink, nightly\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An escape room containing several hunchbacks\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Whack-a-Zarpessa-Zarionneaux-Mole\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A Cremalatta Defacake dessert truck\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Photobooths that only work if you're smizing\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Assault courses featuring hazardous walls, tree climbing and dumpsters on fire\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Nurses running with scissors, around the park, on the hour, every hour, in no particular direction\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A one-woman show by \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allison_Harvard\">Cycle 12 runner-up, Allison Harvard\u003c/a>, acting out \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> in its entirety, in the cafeteria. (Just because her eyes would probably be very good at that, and you'd probably get hungry halfway through.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An adults-only section called Bravo, Bestosterone! (Featuring \"The Dance of the 7seven Intoxibellas\" and an all-male troupe called \"The Seduksheeon Dancers.\")\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>If this theme park sounds loopy to you, just keep in mind that, when it comes to Tyra Banks, much crazier things have happened...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like her dramatization of \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em> on \u003cem>ANTM\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/hpsiFufZV_4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/hpsiFufZV_4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Around that time, she recorded a single that sounded like a Destiny's Child knock off:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/WUBVABdWLxk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/WUBVABdWLxk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>And, of course, there's this timeless TV moment:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/7k_yQwS_0rU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/7k_yQwS_0rU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>And, oh yeah, \u003cem>Modelland\u003c/em>, the book, went on to be a \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> bestseller (!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See you in Santa Monica, Tyra!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Pepsi should have chosen a different slogan for its ads during this year's Super Bowl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The company's slogan was \"More than OK.\" Well, not really. In fact, most of the high-priced commercials we saw between the football plays were just OK. They were so careful to avoid scandal and backlash that they felt leached of originality or bite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's pretty much what Greg Lyons, chief marketing officer of PepsiCo Beverages North America, predicted when I asked him last week what this year's spots would look like: nothing controversial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The Super Bowl is a time for people to enjoy themselves and enjoy the ads,\" Lyons said, deftly avoiding direct mention of the elephant in this particular room—allegations that the NFL blackballed former quarterback Colin Kaepernick for his silent protests over social justice issues, leading to the hashtag #Imwithkap trending before the big game started.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Super Bowl ad time was costly—CBS charged up to $5.3 million for each 30 seconds of time—so the commercials sidestepped anything that might offend. That left viewers with a lot of spots centered on emotional tributes to first responders and soldiers; artificial intelligence and robots acting out; and awkward celebrity cameos. One example: Charlie Sheen reading a newspaper as Mr. Peanut speeds by in a car shaped like a peanut, looking up to say, \"And people think \u003cem>I'm\u003c/em> nuts.\" Really.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's my take on what worked—and so much more that didn't—on the world's biggest showcase for TV advertising:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best argument for a free press: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>The Washington Post\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>'s\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>spot\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>\"Democracy Dies in Darkness\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah, as a journalist and sometimes media critic, I'm a little biased. And at a time when journalists are enduring layoffs across many outlets, the price of a Super Bowl ad may seem foolish. But \u003cem>The Washington Post\u003c/em> spot reminded us how journalism informs every facet of our lives, with clips of deceased reporters such as Marie Colvin and Jamal Khashoggi with the reassuring voice of Tom Hanks telling viewers that \"knowing keeps us free.\" Would an \"enemy of the people\" do that? I don't think so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDjfg8YlKHc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best mashup of two things that probably shouldn't be mashed up: Bud Light and HBO's \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Game of Thrones\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last year, Bud Light featured a bunch of ads in a medieval setting with characters saying the catchphrase \"dilly, dilly.\" This year, they upped the ante by showing one of their Bud Light knights killed in a jousting contest by a character from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>—The Mountain—before a dragon from the show sets everyone on fire. I'll give Bud Light points for teaming up with a cool, highly anticipated TV event. But in a Super Bowl advertising environment that's mostly about humor and sentimentality, selling your beer with a commercial that shows scores of people getting killed feels a bit, well, off brand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=8fhOItB0zUM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Good try making the best of a bad thing: \"Is Pepsi OK?\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Props to the company for not shying away from something that could be considered a serious weakness: the fact that waitstaff often ask customers \"Is Pepsi OK?\" when customers ask for a Coke but the restaurant serves only Pepsi products. The ad featured Steve Carell berating a waiter before rappers Cardi B and Lil Jon show up bellowing \"OK\" in their signature styles. Carell's patter did feel a little like watching your dad joke about a pop music video. But at least he admits trying to cop Cardi B's style is probably a bad idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sYElEbRzKA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best use of celebrities: Harrison Ford, Forest Whitaker, Abbi Jacobson, Ilana Glazer, Mark and Scott Kelly coping with Amazon fails\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Give Amazon points for making Harrison Ford's increasingly curmudgeonly style look charming. The premise of the ad is simple: After showing off a microwave with Alexa, the commercial features celebrities trying other Alexa/Amazon products that didn't turn out so well. It's cute seeing Forest Whitaker struggle to hear a podcast through an Alexa-enabled toothbrush stuck in his mouth, while the stars of \u003cem>Broad City,\u003c/em> Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, get accidentally ejected from an Alexa-powered hot tub. But it's Ford jousting with his dog, who keeps ordering stuff through his Alexa-outfitted dog collar, who steals the show. (I think he just might have found his partner for the next Indiana Jones movie.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y-1h_C8ad8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Worst use of a celebrity: Jason Bateman for Hyundai\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jason Bateman is an underappreciated talent with a skill for serving up dry humor. So it's sad to see Hyundai stick him in a role anyone could have played: an elevator operator descending with a car-shopping couple, going past floors with awful activities such as getting a root canal or attending a vegan dinner party, until they finally land in the basement, where there's a car dealership. Frankly, I expected him to pass a floor where people were watching this commercial, which might have rescued the whole thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5FzKB5TW0Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best stunt reminding you of all the things you hate about Super Bowl advertising: Michael C. Hall in \"Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical\" \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's already a weird idea: Just before the Super Bowl, Skittles will present a half-hour musical at The Town Hall theater, starring Michael C. Hall. Only the theater's paying audience will see it (proceeds will be donated to charity). The cast recording is already up on Spotify, there are teaser ads online and the company has released a video of one song titled \"Advertising Ruins Everything.\" (Sample lyric: \"\u003cem>It shows me how perfect a person can be/and reminds me how perfect I'm not.\u003c/em>\") Never mind how bizarre it is to spend all this effort and money to create a Broadway show/advertisement only 1,500 people will see; it's also wild to publicize a song that argues this whole experience is damaging. Tough to know how any of this sells Skittles, but anything that gives a gig to the mega-talented Hall can't be all bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nIJCtq9KOk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best hijacking of Super Bowl ad frenzy: Volvo's Longest Drive Contest\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Volvo is encouraging people not to watch the game by \u003ca href=\"https://s60longestdrive.com/\">sponsoring a contest where you can take a \"digital test drive\"\u003c/a> of its S60 sedan on a smartphone as the Big Game starts. The three people who keep their eyes on the sedan for the longest time—no looking at the game or other commercials—will win a \"Care by Volvo\" subscription. The subscription provides an S60 or similar luxury vehicle to drive for two years. It covers everything but gas for the car. And Volvo gets a heap of publicity without spending millions on a Super Bowl ad, engineering a contest where the winners have to give the big prize back after two years. Masterful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best jab at ads that don't have anything to do with the product they advertise: Ram Trucks' \"Can't Remember\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two cowboys load their gear into a big trailer, shooting the breeze—as cowhands will—about which past Super Bowl commercials they like the most. After talking about the one about herding cats and the other one with the talking baby, the cowboys realize they don't know what products those spots were advertising (if you guessed Electronic Data Systems and E-Trade without using Google, then you probably work in advertising). The camera pulls back to show one of the guys getting into an imposing Ram truck as he says \"They need to just show you what they're sellin'!\" Like a thinly disguised poke at the competition, perhaps? At least this ad was less offensive than their effort last year, which used audio from a speech by Martin Luther King Jr., lending the appearance that one of history's greatest activists was helping shill for a truck company.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMh_AIs27Ks\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Most awkward use of celebrities for an understated charity: Carrie Bradshaw and The Dude for Stella Artois\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, it's fun to see Sarah Jessica Parker and Jeff Bridges briefly reprise their iconic characters from \u003cem>Sex and the City\u003c/em> and \u003cem>The Big Lebowski\u003c/em>, even if it's just in an ad for a highfalutin Belgian pilsner. But there's not much impact, beyond seeing the two of them onscreen, passing up their signature drinks—a White Russian and a Cosmopolitan—for a Stella. You have to go online to see the details, but the company will donate a portion of proceeds from every bottle, pint or glass chalice sold until March 31 to \u003ca href=\"http://Water.org\">Water.org\u003c/a>. Might have been nice to see that detail in the actual TV ad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX8TMYRk6_w\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Super+Bowl+Ads+2019%3A+Stunts%2C+Self-Deprecation+And+Celebrity+Sightings&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Pepsi should have chosen a different slogan for its ads during this year's Super Bowl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The company's slogan was \"More than OK.\" Well, not really. In fact, most of the high-priced commercials we saw between the football plays were just OK. They were so careful to avoid scandal and backlash that they felt leached of originality or bite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's pretty much what Greg Lyons, chief marketing officer of PepsiCo Beverages North America, predicted when I asked him last week what this year's spots would look like: nothing controversial.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The Super Bowl is a time for people to enjoy themselves and enjoy the ads,\" Lyons said, deftly avoiding direct mention of the elephant in this particular room—allegations that the NFL blackballed former quarterback Colin Kaepernick for his silent protests over social justice issues, leading to the hashtag #Imwithkap trending before the big game started.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Super Bowl ad time was costly—CBS charged up to $5.3 million for each 30 seconds of time—so the commercials sidestepped anything that might offend. That left viewers with a lot of spots centered on emotional tributes to first responders and soldiers; artificial intelligence and robots acting out; and awkward celebrity cameos. One example: Charlie Sheen reading a newspaper as Mr. Peanut speeds by in a car shaped like a peanut, looking up to say, \"And people think \u003cem>I'm\u003c/em> nuts.\" Really.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's my take on what worked—and so much more that didn't—on the world's biggest showcase for TV advertising:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best argument for a free press: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>The Washington Post\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>'s\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>spot\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>\"Democracy Dies in Darkness\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah, as a journalist and sometimes media critic, I'm a little biased. And at a time when journalists are enduring layoffs across many outlets, the price of a Super Bowl ad may seem foolish. But \u003cem>The Washington Post\u003c/em> spot reminded us how journalism informs every facet of our lives, with clips of deceased reporters such as Marie Colvin and Jamal Khashoggi with the reassuring voice of Tom Hanks telling viewers that \"knowing keeps us free.\" Would an \"enemy of the people\" do that? I don't think so.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ZDjfg8YlKHc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ZDjfg8YlKHc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best mashup of two things that probably shouldn't be mashed up: Bud Light and HBO's \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Game of Thrones\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last year, Bud Light featured a bunch of ads in a medieval setting with characters saying the catchphrase \"dilly, dilly.\" This year, they upped the ante by showing one of their Bud Light knights killed in a jousting contest by a character from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>—The Mountain—before a dragon from the show sets everyone on fire. I'll give Bud Light points for teaming up with a cool, highly anticipated TV event. But in a Super Bowl advertising environment that's mostly about humor and sentimentality, selling your beer with a commercial that shows scores of people getting killed feels a bit, well, off brand.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/8fhOItB0zUM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/8fhOItB0zUM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Good try making the best of a bad thing: \"Is Pepsi OK?\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Props to the company for not shying away from something that could be considered a serious weakness: the fact that waitstaff often ask customers \"Is Pepsi OK?\" when customers ask for a Coke but the restaurant serves only Pepsi products. The ad featured Steve Carell berating a waiter before rappers Cardi B and Lil Jon show up bellowing \"OK\" in their signature styles. Carell's patter did feel a little like watching your dad joke about a pop music video. But at least he admits trying to cop Cardi B's style is probably a bad idea.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/9sYElEbRzKA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/9sYElEbRzKA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best use of celebrities: Harrison Ford, Forest Whitaker, Abbi Jacobson, Ilana Glazer, Mark and Scott Kelly coping with Amazon fails\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Give Amazon points for making Harrison Ford's increasingly curmudgeonly style look charming. The premise of the ad is simple: After showing off a microwave with Alexa, the commercial features celebrities trying other Alexa/Amazon products that didn't turn out so well. It's cute seeing Forest Whitaker struggle to hear a podcast through an Alexa-enabled toothbrush stuck in his mouth, while the stars of \u003cem>Broad City,\u003c/em> Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, get accidentally ejected from an Alexa-powered hot tub. But it's Ford jousting with his dog, who keeps ordering stuff through his Alexa-outfitted dog collar, who steals the show. (I think he just might have found his partner for the next Indiana Jones movie.)\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/8y-1h_C8ad8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/8y-1h_C8ad8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Worst use of a celebrity: Jason Bateman for Hyundai\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jason Bateman is an underappreciated talent with a skill for serving up dry humor. So it's sad to see Hyundai stick him in a role anyone could have played: an elevator operator descending with a car-shopping couple, going past floors with awful activities such as getting a root canal or attending a vegan dinner party, until they finally land in the basement, where there's a car dealership. Frankly, I expected him to pass a floor where people were watching this commercial, which might have rescued the whole thing.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/B5FzKB5TW0Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/B5FzKB5TW0Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best stunt reminding you of all the things you hate about Super Bowl advertising: Michael C. Hall in \"Skittles Commercial: The Broadway Musical\" \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's already a weird idea: Just before the Super Bowl, Skittles will present a half-hour musical at The Town Hall theater, starring Michael C. Hall. Only the theater's paying audience will see it (proceeds will be donated to charity). The cast recording is already up on Spotify, there are teaser ads online and the company has released a video of one song titled \"Advertising Ruins Everything.\" (Sample lyric: \"\u003cem>It shows me how perfect a person can be/and reminds me how perfect I'm not.\u003c/em>\") Never mind how bizarre it is to spend all this effort and money to create a Broadway show/advertisement only 1,500 people will see; it's also wild to publicize a song that argues this whole experience is damaging. Tough to know how any of this sells Skittles, but anything that gives a gig to the mega-talented Hall can't be all bad.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/1nIJCtq9KOk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/1nIJCtq9KOk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best hijacking of Super Bowl ad frenzy: Volvo's Longest Drive Contest\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Volvo is encouraging people not to watch the game by \u003ca href=\"https://s60longestdrive.com/\">sponsoring a contest where you can take a \"digital test drive\"\u003c/a> of its S60 sedan on a smartphone as the Big Game starts. The three people who keep their eyes on the sedan for the longest time—no looking at the game or other commercials—will win a \"Care by Volvo\" subscription. The subscription provides an S60 or similar luxury vehicle to drive for two years. It covers everything but gas for the car. And Volvo gets a heap of publicity without spending millions on a Super Bowl ad, engineering a contest where the winners have to give the big prize back after two years. Masterful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best jab at ads that don't have anything to do with the product they advertise: Ram Trucks' \"Can't Remember\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two cowboys load their gear into a big trailer, shooting the breeze—as cowhands will—about which past Super Bowl commercials they like the most. After talking about the one about herding cats and the other one with the talking baby, the cowboys realize they don't know what products those spots were advertising (if you guessed Electronic Data Systems and E-Trade without using Google, then you probably work in advertising). The camera pulls back to show one of the guys getting into an imposing Ram truck as he says \"They need to just show you what they're sellin'!\" Like a thinly disguised poke at the competition, perhaps? At least this ad was less offensive than their effort last year, which used audio from a speech by Martin Luther King Jr., lending the appearance that one of history's greatest activists was helping shill for a truck company.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/aMh_AIs27Ks'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/aMh_AIs27Ks'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Most awkward use of celebrities for an understated charity: Carrie Bradshaw and The Dude for Stella Artois\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, it's fun to see Sarah Jessica Parker and Jeff Bridges briefly reprise their iconic characters from \u003cem>Sex and the City\u003c/em> and \u003cem>The Big Lebowski\u003c/em>, even if it's just in an ad for a highfalutin Belgian pilsner. But there's not much impact, beyond seeing the two of them onscreen, passing up their signature drinks—a White Russian and a Cosmopolitan—for a Stella. You have to go online to see the details, but the company will donate a portion of proceeds from every bottle, pint or glass chalice sold until March 31 to \u003ca href=\"http://Water.org\">Water.org\u003c/a>. Might have been nice to see that detail in the actual TV ad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IX8TMYRk6_w'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IX8TMYRk6_w'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Super+Bowl+Ads+2019%3A+Stunts%2C+Self-Deprecation+And+Celebrity+Sightings&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Disney Princess was all over Lord Pam and got brutally rebuffed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-off-me-lord-pam-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Guess she'll have to cheat on her husband with someone else. #RichWhiteLadyProblems!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid resigned so she can live happily ever after with Hot Italian Chef and his chest hair, but Victoria was not happy for her, maybe because her husband doesn't have luscious locks on his pecs? There's always the Magic Marker fix!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108939\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-albert-chest-hair-shirtless.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, yeah, and Victoria turned into a cast member of \u003cem>The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace\u003c/em> and threw a drink in Albert's face in front of everyone, and now they're not on speaking terms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108921\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-throw-water-albert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will they have makeup sex and get pregnant for the 9,302nd time? Let's find out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>War has broken out! No, not between Britain and some other country (although, knowing how Britain rolls, that should be coming along shortly), but between Victoria and Albert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because neither of them is musical enough to craft cutting diss tracks about each other, they settle for sending passive-aggressive notes back and forth via servants. That makeup sex I mentioned earlier? Probably not happening any time soon!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Part of their disagreement has to do with Bertie's refusal to be smart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria's take:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sure, I almost drowned\u003c/em> \u003cem>last episode because I never got the memo that humans can't breathe underwater, but I still don't see why it's so important to know things.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert's take: \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109063\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/read-a-book2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Albert needed any more ammo, Bertie walks in to show how he's coming along with solving math problems on his abacus:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109067\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-abacus.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"324\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/facepalm-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a separate part of the palace, New Footman runs into Disney Princess and thanks her for saving his skinny-dipping butt from getting fired. We are one scene closer to these two tongue-wrestling!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, that's exactly what Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid are doing in their new inn. But not for long. Hot Italian Chef suggests they change the name from Seven Dials Inn to The Palace. It's the kind of joke that's not wildly hilarious, but you laugh anyway because... well, just look at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, Babyface Maid has become accustomed to his hotness though because she takes his harmless little joke the wrong way and bolts out of bed, leaving his chest hair behind. Your loss, sweetie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the palace, Victoria receives a letter from Babyface Maid. Is she already asking for her job back? Who knows! Victoria throws it into a drawer unopened. She's still livid that Babyface Maid had the gall to want something more from life than an eternity of silently brushing hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Never missing an opportunity to creepily advocate for herself, Xenadora puts her face uncomfortably close to Victoria's and says, \"Don't worry. I will never desert you\", followed by a chilling giggle. Sounds nice on paper; sounds like a threat in person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-victoria-scary-creepy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, as if operating from the same sociopath handbook, Disney Villain puts his face uncomfortably close to Disney Princess' and says, \"Remember, everything you're fond of belongs to me!\" Wow. So, with what's happening between Vic and Al, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid, and these two, the theme of this episode is clearly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109080\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"507\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding.jpg 634w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding-160x180.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because there isn't enough drama going on already, cholera is spreading across London and children's corpses are being carted through the streets. Victoria visits a hospital to witness the devastation first-hand. It's very sad, don't get me wrong, but one of the nurses has a cute pet baby owl that she found at the Parthenon in Athens and that's all I can focus on right now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1020x826.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"518\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1020x826.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-800x648.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-768x622.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1200x972.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs.jpg 1296w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nurse shares her theories about cholera not being contagious and then casually identifies herself as Florence Nightingale, no big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because it's been a while since Albert has had a hobby (remember his obsessions with toilets and trains?), he decides that his next mission will be to march up to Cambridge University and make them care about science. His TedTalk titled \"Science Rules, Creationism Drools\" is met with the kind of faces one makes when smelling a stranger's sour fart in an elevator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/andy-samberg-fart-smell.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Seven Dials Inn (whose name we never ever joke about), Babyface Maid isn't mad at Hot Italian Chef anymore... because she's pregnant with his baby! The show writers every episode:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oprah-you-get-a-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"406\" height=\"276\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Disney Princess gets a message from Disney Villain that she must go home at once so he can whisper unprompted threats next to her face. New Footman offers to tell him to f*ck off. Disney Princess thinks that's a grand idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Victoria wants to get to the bottom of what's causing all this cholera and requests to speak to a shy doctor with a lisp she briefly met once. Prime Minister Pushover doesn't think that's a good idea: \"You should know that he is seen by the medical establishment as an eccentric. I hear he doesn't eat meat... or fish!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a vegetarian myself, I can say that this is how haters see us:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/veggie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"232\" height=\"163\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this is how we see ourselves:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/vegetarian.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the inn, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid host a little get-together to celebrate the inn opening. They toast to their good fortune and to Half-Italian Babyface Jr. Everything is going so well and there isn't a care in the world... until Babyface Maid feels an intense pain in her stomach. I think I know where this is headed and I DO NOT LIKE IT. DON'T DO THIS, \u003cem>VICTORIA\u003c/em> WRITERS. I MEAN IT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-will-cut-you-suzanne-orange-is-the-new-black.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, New Footman and Disney Princess continue to flirt at a glacial pace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \"You weren't at dinner. It was very quiet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"Is my voice so loud?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \"...when it's the only thing I hear.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm feeling equal parts, this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/awww.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\">And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Vegetarian Doctor drops by the palace and shares his cholera theory with Victoria:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/conspiracy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"168\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the source is a contaminated water pump in Soho and that women and children are the ones most affected because they actually drink water, unlike men who are too busy chugging beer to hydrate properly. Oh, and the water pump is also used to create tonics like the one Babyface Maid picked up to help with her pregnancy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dont-do-this-to-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Babyface Maid hallucinating in her bed. She thinks she's still at the palace and about to get in trouble with Mean Butler. I HATE THIS. Grim Reaper, stay back!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/buffy-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109114\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-away-from-her-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"258\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Albert winning a very close race to become Cambridge Chancellor or something and...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, you know what? I don't care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the inn, Victoria is now at Babyface Maid's bedside. A delirious Babyface Maid wakes up and says, \"Do you want me to do your hair, Ma'am?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109115\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/sobbing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"403\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vegetarian Doctor can't do anything because it's the 19th century and no one knows shit about anything. Victoria leaves 'cause she can't stand to watch Babyface Maid die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Babyface Maid is alert enough to tell Hot Italian Chef: \"I should have married you sooner. It wasn't long, but it meant everything.\" Then she takes her last breath and Hot Italian Chef says, \"Nancy? Nancy?\" before sobbing uncontrollably next to her dead body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109116\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/somebody-sedate-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria is so shaken up by this reminder that life is super short that she calls off her stupid fight with Albert. They have makeup sex and probably make another baby. But who cares about them? Babyface Maid is dead and I will never forgive the writers. I'm done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-37954\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"272\">\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE, ALL OF THE THINGS: Babyface Maid\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>I hope the clouds in heaven are made out of Hot Italian Chef's chest hair. Say hi to Dash for me. Now I will proceed to blast this song so my neighbors don't hear me crying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKMtZm2YuBE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, we learn once again that the writers of this show don't give a damn about our feelings.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Disney Princess was all over Lord Pam and got brutally rebuffed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-off-me-lord-pam-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Guess she'll have to cheat on her husband with someone else. #RichWhiteLadyProblems!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid resigned so she can live happily ever after with Hot Italian Chef and his chest hair, but Victoria was not happy for her, maybe because her husband doesn't have luscious locks on his pecs? There's always the Magic Marker fix!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108939\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-albert-chest-hair-shirtless.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, yeah, and Victoria turned into a cast member of \u003cem>The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace\u003c/em> and threw a drink in Albert's face in front of everyone, and now they're not on speaking terms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108921\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-throw-water-albert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will they have makeup sex and get pregnant for the 9,302nd time? Let's find out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>War has broken out! No, not between Britain and some other country (although, knowing how Britain rolls, that should be coming along shortly), but between Victoria and Albert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because neither of them is musical enough to craft cutting diss tracks about each other, they settle for sending passive-aggressive notes back and forth via servants. That makeup sex I mentioned earlier? Probably not happening any time soon!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Part of their disagreement has to do with Bertie's refusal to be smart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria's take:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sure, I almost drowned\u003c/em> \u003cem>last episode because I never got the memo that humans can't breathe underwater, but I still don't see why it's so important to know things.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert's take: \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109063\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/read-a-book2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Albert needed any more ammo, Bertie walks in to show how he's coming along with solving math problems on his abacus:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109067\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-abacus.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"324\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/facepalm-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a separate part of the palace, New Footman runs into Disney Princess and thanks her for saving his skinny-dipping butt from getting fired. We are one scene closer to these two tongue-wrestling!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, that's exactly what Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid are doing in their new inn. But not for long. Hot Italian Chef suggests they change the name from Seven Dials Inn to The Palace. It's the kind of joke that's not wildly hilarious, but you laugh anyway because... well, just look at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, Babyface Maid has become accustomed to his hotness though because she takes his harmless little joke the wrong way and bolts out of bed, leaving his chest hair behind. Your loss, sweetie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the palace, Victoria receives a letter from Babyface Maid. Is she already asking for her job back? Who knows! Victoria throws it into a drawer unopened. She's still livid that Babyface Maid had the gall to want something more from life than an eternity of silently brushing hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Never missing an opportunity to creepily advocate for herself, Xenadora puts her face uncomfortably close to Victoria's and says, \"Don't worry. I will never desert you\", followed by a chilling giggle. Sounds nice on paper; sounds like a threat in person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-victoria-scary-creepy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, as if operating from the same sociopath handbook, Disney Villain puts his face uncomfortably close to Disney Princess' and says, \"Remember, everything you're fond of belongs to me!\" Wow. So, with what's happening between Vic and Al, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid, and these two, the theme of this episode is clearly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109080\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"507\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding.jpg 634w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nah-im-good-proposal-no-wedding-160x180.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because there isn't enough drama going on already, cholera is spreading across London and children's corpses are being carted through the streets. Victoria visits a hospital to witness the devastation first-hand. It's very sad, don't get me wrong, but one of the nurses has a cute pet baby owl that she found at the Parthenon in Athens and that's all I can focus on right now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1020x826.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"518\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1020x826.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-800x648.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-768x622.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs-1200x972.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/owl-florence-nightingale-victoria-pbs.jpg 1296w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nurse shares her theories about cholera not being contagious and then casually identifies herself as Florence Nightingale, no big deal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because it's been a while since Albert has had a hobby (remember his obsessions with toilets and trains?), he decides that his next mission will be to march up to Cambridge University and make them care about science. His TedTalk titled \"Science Rules, Creationism Drools\" is met with the kind of faces one makes when smelling a stranger's sour fart in an elevator.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/andy-samberg-fart-smell.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Seven Dials Inn (whose name we never ever joke about), Babyface Maid isn't mad at Hot Italian Chef anymore... because she's pregnant with his baby! The show writers every episode:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oprah-you-get-a-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"406\" height=\"276\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Disney Princess gets a message from Disney Villain that she must go home at once so he can whisper unprompted threats next to her face. New Footman offers to tell him to f*ck off. Disney Princess thinks that's a grand idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Victoria wants to get to the bottom of what's causing all this cholera and requests to speak to a shy doctor with a lisp she briefly met once. Prime Minister Pushover doesn't think that's a good idea: \"You should know that he is seen by the medical establishment as an eccentric. I hear he doesn't eat meat... or fish!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a vegetarian myself, I can say that this is how haters see us:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/veggie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"232\" height=\"163\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this is how we see ourselves:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/vegetarian.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the inn, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid host a little get-together to celebrate the inn opening. They toast to their good fortune and to Half-Italian Babyface Jr. Everything is going so well and there isn't a care in the world... until Babyface Maid feels an intense pain in her stomach. I think I know where this is headed and I DO NOT LIKE IT. DON'T DO THIS, \u003cem>VICTORIA\u003c/em> WRITERS. I MEAN IT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-will-cut-you-suzanne-orange-is-the-new-black.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, New Footman and Disney Princess continue to flirt at a glacial pace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \"You weren't at dinner. It was very quiet.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"Is my voice so loud?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \"...when it's the only thing I hear.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm feeling equal parts, this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-62786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/02/awww.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\">And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Vegetarian Doctor drops by the palace and shares his cholera theory with Victoria:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/conspiracy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"168\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the source is a contaminated water pump in Soho and that women and children are the ones most affected because they actually drink water, unlike men who are too busy chugging beer to hydrate properly. Oh, and the water pump is also used to create tonics like the one Babyface Maid picked up to help with her pregnancy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dont-do-this-to-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Babyface Maid hallucinating in her bed. She thinks she's still at the palace and about to get in trouble with Mean Butler. I HATE THIS. Grim Reaper, stay back!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/buffy-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109114\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-away-from-her-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"258\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Albert winning a very close race to become Cambridge Chancellor or something and...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, you know what? I don't care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the inn, Victoria is now at Babyface Maid's bedside. A delirious Babyface Maid wakes up and says, \"Do you want me to do your hair, Ma'am?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109115\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/sobbing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"403\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vegetarian Doctor can't do anything because it's the 19th century and no one knows shit about anything. Victoria leaves 'cause she can't stand to watch Babyface Maid die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Babyface Maid is alert enough to tell Hot Italian Chef: \"I should have married you sooner. It wasn't long, but it meant everything.\" Then she takes her last breath and Hot Italian Chef says, \"Nancy? Nancy?\" before sobbing uncontrollably next to her dead body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109116\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/somebody-sedate-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria is so shaken up by this reminder that life is super short that she calls off her stupid fight with Albert. They have makeup sex and probably make another baby. But who cares about them? Babyface Maid is dead and I will never forgive the writers. I'm done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-37954\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"272\">\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD, SILVER, BRONZE, ALL OF THE THINGS: Babyface Maid\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>I hope the clouds in heaven are made out of Hot Italian Chef's chest hair. Say hi to Dash for me. Now I will proceed to blast this song so my neighbors don't hear me crying.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/NKMtZm2YuBE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/NKMtZm2YuBE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>A woman whose curly red hair spills past her shoulders stands in front of a bathroom mirror as a party rages outside. She looks at her reflection. People bang on the door to get in. She turns and leaves, through a door with a handgun for a handle, out of the bathroom where the areas of the walls and door glow with blotches of chilly blue light. As she leaves, two women push their way past her into the bathroom, and she moves into the room where the party is. Friends swarm around her. A woman cooking in the kitchen offers her a joint laced with cocaine. Something is wrong. She is a quick-witted New York game designer who seems to smoke in part for the smoking itself, but also in part so she can gesture, in quick little jabs, with her cigarette. And she can't figure out quite what's going on. \"What was I just doing?\" she asks her friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHcKoAMGGvY\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is, I think, as much as I can tell you about the premise of \u003cem>Russian Doll\u003c/em>, an eight-part series premiering on Netflix Friday, except that the woman is named Nadia, and she is played by the genuinely inimitable Natasha Lyonne. Lyonne created the series along with Amy Poehler and playwright/director Leslye Headland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lyonne has been around a long time. She was a child actor on \u003cem>Pee-wee's Playhouse \u003c/em>and in \u003cem>Dennis the Menace\u003c/em>. She was in \u003cem>American Pie\u003c/em>. She did small, well-regarded films in the late 1990s, most notably Tamara Jenkins' \u003cem>Slums of Beverly Hills\u003c/em> and Jamie Babbit's \u003cem>But I'm a Cheerleader\u003c/em>. Most recently, she's one of a group of actresses who got wonderful boosts from appearing on \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black. \u003c/em>There, she plays Nicky, whose addictions continue to haunt her in prison. Lyonne was nominated for an Emmy for the role.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's always been a good actress, and still, \u003cem>Russian Doll \u003c/em>feels like a revelation. Lyonne is not only the purest version of herself in it, but Nadia is an improvement, in this project Lyonne co-created, on every character she's played that has nearly captured her particular energy. Nicky on \u003cem>OITNB\u003c/em>, for instance, is a very Natasha Lyonne role, as it were, but Nadia is \u003cem>more \u003c/em>so. Lyonne can seem, as a \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/apr/06/antibirth-star-natasha-lyonne-isnt-everyone-entitled-to-an-existential-breakdown\">\u003cem>Guardian \u003c/em>profile once noted\u003c/a>, like someone who \"has a weird ability to grow more appealing the gnarlier her character and surroundings get.\" But Nadia isn't a character bigger than Nicky. She's not broader. She's just so \u003cem>specifically\u003c/em> conceived. It's a performance where the actor understands the character so well, down to every little gesture she makes, every twitch of her face, that it's startling, at times, to remember she's fictional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a tough show to review, because I'd like to tell you all about its pleasures—how clever it is, how intelligent about people, how intelligent about the isolation of knowing you're the only person who knows the truth about your own situation and even you know only some of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I don't even want to tell you what \u003cem>kind \u003c/em>of show it is, because its tonal turns are among the narrative elements that make it effective. That gun-shaped doorknob. Those glowing blue splotches. Is it supernatural? Is it a crime show? Nadia certainly has a way with a clever line; is it a comedy?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not exactly, not exactly, and not exactly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This much spoils nothing: unlike many streaming shows, \u003cem>Russian Doll \u003c/em>is only as long as it needs to be to tell its story. The eight half-hour episodes maintain their momentum, which is particularly tough in a story that, by its nature and its exploration of a certain kind of déjà vu, isn't precisely linear. The series bends and breathes, introducing other characters into Nadia's life (I don't even want to tell you who!), giving away more and more of her fundamentally New York kind of humanity, never wavering in its conviction that she is fascinating enough to carry this entire story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And at the center is Natasha Lyonne, playing a character so human that if you opened your own bathroom door and found her standing there, it wouldn't be all \u003cem>that \u003c/em>surprising.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Natasha+Lyonne+Anchors+The+Riveting+%27Russian+Doll%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>A woman whose curly red hair spills past her shoulders stands in front of a bathroom mirror as a party rages outside. She looks at her reflection. People bang on the door to get in. She turns and leaves, through a door with a handgun for a handle, out of the bathroom where the areas of the walls and door glow with blotches of chilly blue light. As she leaves, two women push their way past her into the bathroom, and she moves into the room where the party is. Friends swarm around her. A woman cooking in the kitchen offers her a joint laced with cocaine. Something is wrong. She is a quick-witted New York game designer who seems to smoke in part for the smoking itself, but also in part so she can gesture, in quick little jabs, with her cigarette. And she can't figure out quite what's going on. \"What was I just doing?\" she asks her friend.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/YHcKoAMGGvY'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/YHcKoAMGGvY'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>This is, I think, as much as I can tell you about the premise of \u003cem>Russian Doll\u003c/em>, an eight-part series premiering on Netflix Friday, except that the woman is named Nadia, and she is played by the genuinely inimitable Natasha Lyonne. Lyonne created the series along with Amy Poehler and playwright/director Leslye Headland.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lyonne has been around a long time. She was a child actor on \u003cem>Pee-wee's Playhouse \u003c/em>and in \u003cem>Dennis the Menace\u003c/em>. She was in \u003cem>American Pie\u003c/em>. She did small, well-regarded films in the late 1990s, most notably Tamara Jenkins' \u003cem>Slums of Beverly Hills\u003c/em> and Jamie Babbit's \u003cem>But I'm a Cheerleader\u003c/em>. Most recently, she's one of a group of actresses who got wonderful boosts from appearing on \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black. \u003c/em>There, she plays Nicky, whose addictions continue to haunt her in prison. Lyonne was nominated for an Emmy for the role.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's always been a good actress, and still, \u003cem>Russian Doll \u003c/em>feels like a revelation. Lyonne is not only the purest version of herself in it, but Nadia is an improvement, in this project Lyonne co-created, on every character she's played that has nearly captured her particular energy. Nicky on \u003cem>OITNB\u003c/em>, for instance, is a very Natasha Lyonne role, as it were, but Nadia is \u003cem>more \u003c/em>so. Lyonne can seem, as a \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/apr/06/antibirth-star-natasha-lyonne-isnt-everyone-entitled-to-an-existential-breakdown\">\u003cem>Guardian \u003c/em>profile once noted\u003c/a>, like someone who \"has a weird ability to grow more appealing the gnarlier her character and surroundings get.\" But Nadia isn't a character bigger than Nicky. She's not broader. She's just so \u003cem>specifically\u003c/em> conceived. It's a performance where the actor understands the character so well, down to every little gesture she makes, every twitch of her face, that it's startling, at times, to remember she's fictional.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a tough show to review, because I'd like to tell you all about its pleasures—how clever it is, how intelligent about people, how intelligent about the isolation of knowing you're the only person who knows the truth about your own situation and even you know only some of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I don't even want to tell you what \u003cem>kind \u003c/em>of show it is, because its tonal turns are among the narrative elements that make it effective. That gun-shaped doorknob. Those glowing blue splotches. Is it supernatural? Is it a crime show? Nadia certainly has a way with a clever line; is it a comedy?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not exactly, not exactly, and not exactly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This much spoils nothing: unlike many streaming shows, \u003cem>Russian Doll \u003c/em>is only as long as it needs to be to tell its story. The eight half-hour episodes maintain their momentum, which is particularly tough in a story that, by its nature and its exploration of a certain kind of déjà vu, isn't precisely linear. The series bends and breathes, introducing other characters into Nadia's life (I don't even want to tell you who!), giving away more and more of her fundamentally New York kind of humanity, never wavering in its conviction that she is fascinating enough to carry this entire story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And at the center is Natasha Lyonne, playing a character so human that if you opened your own bathroom door and found her standing there, it wouldn't be all \u003cem>that \u003c/em>surprising.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Natasha+Lyonne+Anchors+The+Riveting+%27Russian+Doll%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "All the Mr. Rogers Gifs You Need to Believe in Humanity Again",
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"content": "\u003cp>The past few years have been tough, to say the least. At times, I've found myself questioning whether people are still good at heart. That's when I turn to my sure-fire way of snapping back into believing in humanity again: anything to do with the King of Nice, Mr. Rogers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Won't You Be My Neighbor?\u003c/em>, the recent documentary about his legacy of kindness, was rudely snubbed for an Oscar nomination this year (add this to the evidence that the world has gone off-kilter). But no matter; the film is still excellent and coming to KQED airwaves on February 9, 2019, at 8 pm! To help bide the time between now and then, let's luxuriate in all the animated gifs of Mr. Rogers we could ever want:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108969\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-gong.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"407\" height=\"314\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">With this ceremonial striking of the gong, let the coziness begin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108970\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-koko.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"374\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">I wasn't lying about the coziness. The only thing Koko the gorilla loved more than \u003ca href=\"https://www.koko.org/sites/default/files/root/images/about_us/gorillas/koko/kittens/koko_and_lips1.jpg\">kittens\u003c/a> was Mr. Rogers. And who can blame her?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108976\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rogers-cardigans.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"244\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108972\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-cardigan-zip.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Everyone knows about Mr. Rogers' love of cardigans in any color. But he also has other interests.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108990\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-ice-skating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Like ice-skating right into our hearts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108967\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-banana-cheese.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"411\" height=\"311\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or eating a balanced (and bizarre) breakfast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-fake-swim.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108980\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swim.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or living his \u003cem>Little Mermaid\u003c/em> fantasy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108992\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-clown-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or being an understudy for the creepy clown from \u003cem>It\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108979\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-middle-finger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or teaching children non-rude uses for their middle fingers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108975\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-football-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"407\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Mr. Rogers can barely throw and catch a football. Stars: they're just like us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108971\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-kick.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"409\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Not being good at football doesn't mean he isn't agile though!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108977\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swag.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"311\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Look at him move!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108978\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swagger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"487\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The swag is undeniable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108968\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-hip-hop-jacket.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"370\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The audience at \u003cem>The Arsenio Hall Show\u003c/em> agree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108991\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-window.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He's probably the only person who could get away with scaring the crap out of us by putting his face up against our living room windows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108987\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He's also the only person who can get away with wearing pants above his belly button.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-gentle-touch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Am I the only one on the verge of tearing up looking at this gentlest of touches?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-youre-special.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Even if I am, I don't mind 'cause Mr. Rogers says we're all special in our own ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-cake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">And that he celebrates us no matter what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108988\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">What a wonderful human being. I don't know about you, but I feel a lot better than I did at the beginning of this post. Belief in humanity: restored!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>If you want another strong humanity-affirming dose of Mr. Rogers, watch \u003c/em>Won't You Be My Neighbor?\u003cem> on February 9, 2019 at 8 pm on KQED!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The past few years have been tough, to say the least. At times, I've found myself questioning whether people are still good at heart. That's when I turn to my sure-fire way of snapping back into believing in humanity again: anything to do with the King of Nice, Mr. Rogers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Won't You Be My Neighbor?\u003c/em>, the recent documentary about his legacy of kindness, was rudely snubbed for an Oscar nomination this year (add this to the evidence that the world has gone off-kilter). But no matter; the film is still excellent and coming to KQED airwaves on February 9, 2019, at 8 pm! To help bide the time between now and then, let's luxuriate in all the animated gifs of Mr. Rogers we could ever want:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108969\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-gong.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"407\" height=\"314\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">With this ceremonial striking of the gong, let the coziness begin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108970\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-koko.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"374\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">I wasn't lying about the coziness. The only thing Koko the gorilla loved more than \u003ca href=\"https://www.koko.org/sites/default/files/root/images/about_us/gorillas/koko/kittens/koko_and_lips1.jpg\">kittens\u003c/a> was Mr. Rogers. And who can blame her?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108976\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rogers-cardigans.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"244\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108972\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-cardigan-zip.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Everyone knows about Mr. Rogers' love of cardigans in any color. But he also has other interests.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108990\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-ice-skating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Like ice-skating right into our hearts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108967\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-banana-cheese.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"411\" height=\"311\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or eating a balanced (and bizarre) breakfast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-fake-swim.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108980\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swim.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or living his \u003cem>Little Mermaid\u003c/em> fantasy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108992\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-clown-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or being an understudy for the creepy clown from \u003cem>It\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108979\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-middle-finger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or teaching children non-rude uses for their middle fingers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108975\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-football-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"407\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Mr. Rogers can barely throw and catch a football. Stars: they're just like us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108971\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-kick.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"409\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Not being good at football doesn't mean he isn't agile though!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108977\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swag.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"311\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Look at him move!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108978\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-swagger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"487\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The swag is undeniable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108968\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-hip-hop-jacket.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"370\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The audience at \u003cem>The Arsenio Hall Show\u003c/em> agree.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108991\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-window.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He's probably the only person who could get away with scaring the crap out of us by putting his face up against our living room windows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108987\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He's also the only person who can get away with wearing pants above his belly button.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-gentle-touch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Am I the only one on the verge of tearing up looking at this gentlest of touches?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-youre-special.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Even if I am, I don't mind 'cause Mr. Rogers says we're all special in our own ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-cake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">And that he celebrates us no matter what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108988\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-rogers-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">What a wonderful human being. I don't know about you, but I feel a lot better than I did at the beginning of this post. Belief in humanity: restored!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>If you want another strong humanity-affirming dose of Mr. Rogers, watch \u003c/em>Won't You Be My Neighbor?\u003cem> on February 9, 2019 at 8 pm on KQED!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Black Earth Rising' is a Fascinating Take on the Rwandan Genocide",
"title": "'Black Earth Rising' is a Fascinating Take on the Rwandan Genocide",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>April will mark the 25th anniversary of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/26/606105347/mass-graves-discovered-24-years-after-rwandan-genocide\">Rwandan genocide\u003c/a>, a 100-day period in which world leaders stood idly by as more than 800,000 people—Tutsi minorities and moderate Hutus—were murdered by the majority Hutus, who had been whipped into a homicidal frenzy by their leaders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The fallout from this killing spree is the subject of a clunky but fascinating BBC drama, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em>, just out on Netflix. It was made by Hugo Blick, whose award-winning 2014 series \u003cem>The Honourable Woman\u003c/em> used a deliriously serpentine plot to explore the Israeli-Palestinian conundrum.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blick's up to the same tricks in this new eight-part series, which offers us the gaudy goodies of a thriller—murders, chases and shocking revelations—in order to interest us in a tragedy whose aftershocks are still rocking Africa today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNb5w1ERY8E\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rising British star Michaela Coel plays the role of Kate Ashby, a 30-ish Rwandan who, as a little girl, was rescued from the 1994 genocide by human rights lawyer Eve Ashby—that's Harriet Walter —who adopted her and raised her in London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eve and her American boss Michael Ennis (played by John Goodman) are dedicated to prosecuting those who turned Central Africa into a killing field. All of which is fine until Eve goes after a Tutsi general who, after helping end the genocide, went on to commit war crimes in neighboring Democratic Republic of Congo. Kate is outraged. How can her own mom go after a man who saved Tutsis like herself from slaughter?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This tricky question gets even trickier once Kate finds herself working with Michael on a second case, this time defending a Rwandan government minister from a war crimes charge brought by the French. As the two cases cross-pollinate, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> races from London mansions to Congolese mining camps, from Parisian police stations to the presidential offices in the Rwandan capital of Kigali. Meanwhile, Kate—whose childhood trauma keeps her inner life churning—burns with a righteous anger that blinds her to the past's full complexity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109031\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109031\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Michaela Coel plays a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the BBC/Netflix miniseries, 'Black Earth Rising.'\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-768x576.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michaela Coel plays a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the BBC/Netflix miniseries, 'Black Earth Rising.'\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Now, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is decidedly not one of those current-events potboilers like \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/10/22/659526648/take-thrilling-comfort-in-bodyguard-where-the-malfeasance-is-just-fiction\">Bodyguard \u003c/a>or \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/10/03/353506560/homeland-regains-urgency-with-twin-protagonists-and-divided-loyalties\">Homeland\u003c/a>. It cares less about ratcheting things up than reminding us that history is vast, messy and ever-changing. Kate's exploration of her past helps us understand the Rwanda genocide and its violent aftermath. We get details of how Belgian and French policies helped fuel the killing, and how colonialism still works today. We see how the Tutsi leaders who currently run Rwanda have created an orderly but dictatorial state. And more abstractly, we see how hard it is to define justice in a world where onetime heroes start doing bad things and fate transforms villains into victims.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, it would take a lifetime to capture the complexity of all these things, and \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is only an eight-hour TV series. Although Blick tries hard to do justice to his subject, his ambition has a cost: The dramatic side of the series can be wobbly. Some of the dialogue is thuddingly expository, some of the plot twists feel mechanical, some of the symbolism is overbearing. And our heroine, Kate, is less a three-dimensional character than a walking emblem of Central African trauma.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet Coel plays Kate with such incandescent intensity that she keeps us riveted anyway. In fact, the whole series is superbly acted. There's a winningly ambiguous turn by Lucian Msamati as the confidant of Rwanda's president and a brilliant one by Goodman who, in Michael, aces a dream role—he gets to play smart, witty, soulful and, heck, even sexy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the show's opening credits, we hear \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/artists/15392685/leonard-cohen\">Leonard Cohen\u003c/a> performing his song \"You Want It Darker\" in his incomparable hound-of-hell growl. Yet \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is actually about seeking the light. As Kate learns the buried truth about the past—her own and her home country's—she begins to escape its clutches, transforming herself from an innocent victimized by history into a wised-up woman who's trying to make it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 Fresh Air. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/\">Fresh Air\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Black+Earth+Rising%27+Is+A+Fascinating%2C+If+Clunky%2C+Take+On+The+Rwandan+Genocide+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>April will mark the 25th anniversary of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/26/606105347/mass-graves-discovered-24-years-after-rwandan-genocide\">Rwandan genocide\u003c/a>, a 100-day period in which world leaders stood idly by as more than 800,000 people—Tutsi minorities and moderate Hutus—were murdered by the majority Hutus, who had been whipped into a homicidal frenzy by their leaders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The fallout from this killing spree is the subject of a clunky but fascinating BBC drama, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em>, just out on Netflix. It was made by Hugo Blick, whose award-winning 2014 series \u003cem>The Honourable Woman\u003c/em> used a deliriously serpentine plot to explore the Israeli-Palestinian conundrum.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blick's up to the same tricks in this new eight-part series, which offers us the gaudy goodies of a thriller—murders, chases and shocking revelations—in order to interest us in a tragedy whose aftershocks are still rocking Africa today.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/YNb5w1ERY8E'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/YNb5w1ERY8E'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Rising British star Michaela Coel plays the role of Kate Ashby, a 30-ish Rwandan who, as a little girl, was rescued from the 1994 genocide by human rights lawyer Eve Ashby—that's Harriet Walter —who adopted her and raised her in London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eve and her American boss Michael Ennis (played by John Goodman) are dedicated to prosecuting those who turned Central Africa into a killing field. All of which is fine until Eve goes after a Tutsi general who, after helping end the genocide, went on to commit war crimes in neighboring Democratic Republic of Congo. Kate is outraged. How can her own mom go after a man who saved Tutsis like herself from slaughter?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This tricky question gets even trickier once Kate finds herself working with Michael on a second case, this time defending a Rwandan government minister from a war crimes charge brought by the French. As the two cases cross-pollinate, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> races from London mansions to Congolese mining camps, from Parisian police stations to the presidential offices in the Rwandan capital of Kigali. Meanwhile, Kate—whose childhood trauma keeps her inner life churning—burns with a righteous anger that blinds her to the past's full complexity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109031\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109031\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Michaela Coel plays a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the BBC/Netflix miniseries, 'Black Earth Rising.'\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-768x576.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/tfe_ep2_sm_150817_238a4636-78d772706c3e970fbf66f165dec2406503c773d7-1920x1440.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Michaela Coel plays a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the BBC/Netflix miniseries, 'Black Earth Rising.'\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Now, \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is decidedly not one of those current-events potboilers like \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2018/10/22/659526648/take-thrilling-comfort-in-bodyguard-where-the-malfeasance-is-just-fiction\">Bodyguard \u003c/a>or \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/10/03/353506560/homeland-regains-urgency-with-twin-protagonists-and-divided-loyalties\">Homeland\u003c/a>. It cares less about ratcheting things up than reminding us that history is vast, messy and ever-changing. Kate's exploration of her past helps us understand the Rwanda genocide and its violent aftermath. We get details of how Belgian and French policies helped fuel the killing, and how colonialism still works today. We see how the Tutsi leaders who currently run Rwanda have created an orderly but dictatorial state. And more abstractly, we see how hard it is to define justice in a world where onetime heroes start doing bad things and fate transforms villains into victims.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, it would take a lifetime to capture the complexity of all these things, and \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is only an eight-hour TV series. Although Blick tries hard to do justice to his subject, his ambition has a cost: The dramatic side of the series can be wobbly. Some of the dialogue is thuddingly expository, some of the plot twists feel mechanical, some of the symbolism is overbearing. And our heroine, Kate, is less a three-dimensional character than a walking emblem of Central African trauma.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yet Coel plays Kate with such incandescent intensity that she keeps us riveted anyway. In fact, the whole series is superbly acted. There's a winningly ambiguous turn by Lucian Msamati as the confidant of Rwanda's president and a brilliant one by Goodman who, in Michael, aces a dream role—he gets to play smart, witty, soulful and, heck, even sexy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the show's opening credits, we hear \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/artists/15392685/leonard-cohen\">Leonard Cohen\u003c/a> performing his song \"You Want It Darker\" in his incomparable hound-of-hell growl. Yet \u003cem>Black Earth Rising\u003c/em> is actually about seeking the light. As Kate learns the buried truth about the past—her own and her home country's—she begins to escape its clutches, transforming herself from an innocent victimized by history into a wised-up woman who's trying to make it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 Fresh Air. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/\">Fresh Air\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Black+Earth+Rising%27+Is+A+Fascinating%2C+If+Clunky%2C+Take+On+The+Rwandan+Genocide+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Surprising Feminism of Gordon Ramsay's TV Kitchens",
"title": "The Surprising Feminism of Gordon Ramsay's TV Kitchens",
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"content": "\u003cp>The culinary world's rampant sexism is well-documented. \u003ca href=\"https://datausa.io/profile/soc/351011/\">Data USA\u003c/a> reports that 78.4% of chefs and head cooks are men, despite the fact that, \u003ca href=\"https://www.reluctantgourmet.com/male-female-ratios-culinary-school/\">since 2009\u003c/a>, women and men have been attending culinary school in almost \u003ca href=\"https://slate.com/human-interest/2017/03/female-students-outnumber-males-at-the-culinary-institute-of-america-for-the-first-time.html\">equal numbers\u003c/a>. The women who do make it into kitchens typically make much less ($28,300 annually, versus a man's $34,500) and of America's 25 highest-paid chefs, only three—Rachael Ray, Paula Deen and Ina Garten—are women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is not an issue that's specific to the USA. In Holland, only \u003ca href=\"https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/3dmje8/we-asked-male-chefs-why-there-are-so-few-females-in-professional-kitchens\">10 percent\u003c/a> of professional chefs are women. In the UK, it's 18.5 percent. And, out of Britain's 172 Michelin-starred restaurants, \u003ca href=\"https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/the-women-proving-male-and-female-chefs-are-equal-monica-galetti-a7660666.html\">only 10\u003c/a> have female head chefs. In 2017, the dire consequences of this industry-wide inequality were revealed when the \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Washington Post\u003c/em> exposed \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/20/dining/mario-batali-spotted-pig.html\">sexual harassment\u003c/a> and assault at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/12/12/i-want-to-see-you-naked-when-alcohol-flowed-mario-batali-turned-abusive-workers-say/?utm_term=.fee47eb3076d\">highest echelons\u003c/a> of the culinary world. But the media at large is not always so helpful. In 2013, \u003cem>Time\u003c/em>'s \u003ca href=\"https://www.eater.com/2017/11/20/16595308/female-women-representation-in-food\">\"Gods of Food\"\u003c/a> issue, for example, featured zero women chefs on its main list. The only two that managed to get a mention were relegated to a side panel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only kitchens in the world where women may have a realistic hope of being treated equally are, arguably, those with television cameras in them. And, surprisingly, it's the reality TV kitchens headed by Gordon Ramsay that seem to do the best job. It makes almost no sense. Ramsay has been appallingly sexist in public on several occasions. In 1999, he said he \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/1999/jun/11/features11.g24\">didn't like employing female chefs\u003c/a> because \"they only work three weeks a month\" and \"How can you shout at someone who's four months pregnant?\" In 2013, he held up an image of a naked woman on all fours with the face of a pig, and told a 3,000-person audience that it was \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/jun/13/gordon-ramsay-tracy-grimshaw\">Tracy Grimshaw\u003c/a>, an Australian journalist who had interviewed him the day before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And yet on Ramsay's TV competitions, despite the fact that the judges are almost always men, women thrive and, more often than not, win. Of 17 seasons of \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em>, 11 of the winners are women. So were five out of the first six winners of \u003cem>MasterChef. \u003c/em>One, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/theposhtart/?hl=en\">Courtney Lapresi\u003c/a>, talked openly about her work as a stripper and suffered zero judgment for it. (Shows like \u003ca href=\"https://people.com/tv/americas-next-top-model-contestant-angelea-preston-fired-for-escort-past/\">\u003cem>America's Next Top Model\u003c/em> have proven far less tolerant\u003c/a> of sex workers.) Another winner, Whitney Miller, was just 22-years-old and sweet in a way that you'd expect to rub Ramsay the wrong way. Other female winners have included a blind Asian-American woman (\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_H%C3%A0\">Christine Hà\u003c/a>) and a Latina single mom who is now a judge on \u003ca href=\"https://www.telemundo.com/shows/masterchef-latino\">\u003cem>Masterchef Latino\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"http://www.chefclaudiascocina.com/\">Claudia Sandoval\u003c/a>). Only two of the nine \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> winners have been white men—the demographic most likely to dominate professional kitchens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1NJoJBr6c8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having a 50/50 male-female contestant split at the start of every season offers a level playing field that simply does not exist in the real world yet. And the stakes are high—both \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em> give a prize of $250,000 to the winner, as well as an international cookbook deal and a head chef position at one of Ramsay's restaurants, respectively. What's more, during eliminations, Ramsay has been known to offer some contestants either jobs with him or loans to launch their own businesses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's possible that Ramsay's attitude adjustment is thanks, at least in part, to Claire Smyth. In 2002, she had the distinction of being the first woman Ramsay ever hired to work in one of his kitchens. After becoming a head chef for him in London, she acquired three Michelin stars, an MBE and the accolade of \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/03/clare-smyth-worlds-best-female-chef-im-not-going-to-stand-and-shout-at-someone-its-just-not-nice\">best female chef in the world.\u003c/a> She acknowledged how tough it was to get there in a 2007 interview, saying: \"It took me a long time to earn respect. I had to work twice as hard. I could never say I was tired or I was sick or I had cut my finger because the response would have been: ‘It’s because you’re a girl.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If Smyth demonstrated to Ramsay what a woman could do in a professional kitchen, \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Hartnett\">Angela Hartnett\u003c/a> proved it wasn't a fluke. After being mentored by Ramsay, she too was awarded an MBE and Michelin star. She opened his Boca Raton restaurant, Cielo, in 2007.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Praising Gordon Ramsay for finally treating women as equals feels a bit like giving someone an award for no longer kicking you. But in 2017, he was ranked the fourth \u003ca href=\"https://www.thedailymeal.com/eat/america-s-25-most-successful-chefs-2017-slideshow/slide-23\">most successful chef in the world\u003c/a>. Ramsay has a public profile and international visibility that is unrivaled in the industry. As such, the importance of the example he is setting cannot be overstated. Not only are contestants' lives changed by the prizes and education these shows offer, the success of women on them serves as both an \"If you can see it, you can be it\" inspiration to viewers, and a demonstration to the industry that women are just as capable of running a kitchen as men are. In a perfect world, we wouldn't need TV shows to prove that, but until things get better across the food industry, \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em> offer us a glimpse of just how much better things could be.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The culinary world's rampant sexism is well-documented. \u003ca href=\"https://datausa.io/profile/soc/351011/\">Data USA\u003c/a> reports that 78.4% of chefs and head cooks are men, despite the fact that, \u003ca href=\"https://www.reluctantgourmet.com/male-female-ratios-culinary-school/\">since 2009\u003c/a>, women and men have been attending culinary school in almost \u003ca href=\"https://slate.com/human-interest/2017/03/female-students-outnumber-males-at-the-culinary-institute-of-america-for-the-first-time.html\">equal numbers\u003c/a>. The women who do make it into kitchens typically make much less ($28,300 annually, versus a man's $34,500) and of America's 25 highest-paid chefs, only three—Rachael Ray, Paula Deen and Ina Garten—are women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is not an issue that's specific to the USA. In Holland, only \u003ca href=\"https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/3dmje8/we-asked-male-chefs-why-there-are-so-few-females-in-professional-kitchens\">10 percent\u003c/a> of professional chefs are women. In the UK, it's 18.5 percent. And, out of Britain's 172 Michelin-starred restaurants, \u003ca href=\"https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/the-women-proving-male-and-female-chefs-are-equal-monica-galetti-a7660666.html\">only 10\u003c/a> have female head chefs. In 2017, the dire consequences of this industry-wide inequality were revealed when the \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Washington Post\u003c/em> exposed \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/20/dining/mario-batali-spotted-pig.html\">sexual harassment\u003c/a> and assault at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/12/12/i-want-to-see-you-naked-when-alcohol-flowed-mario-batali-turned-abusive-workers-say/?utm_term=.fee47eb3076d\">highest echelons\u003c/a> of the culinary world. But the media at large is not always so helpful. In 2013, \u003cem>Time\u003c/em>'s \u003ca href=\"https://www.eater.com/2017/11/20/16595308/female-women-representation-in-food\">\"Gods of Food\"\u003c/a> issue, for example, featured zero women chefs on its main list. The only two that managed to get a mention were relegated to a side panel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only kitchens in the world where women may have a realistic hope of being treated equally are, arguably, those with television cameras in them. And, surprisingly, it's the reality TV kitchens headed by Gordon Ramsay that seem to do the best job. It makes almost no sense. Ramsay has been appallingly sexist in public on several occasions. In 1999, he said he \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/1999/jun/11/features11.g24\">didn't like employing female chefs\u003c/a> because \"they only work three weeks a month\" and \"How can you shout at someone who's four months pregnant?\" In 2013, he held up an image of a naked woman on all fours with the face of a pig, and told a 3,000-person audience that it was \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2009/jun/13/gordon-ramsay-tracy-grimshaw\">Tracy Grimshaw\u003c/a>, an Australian journalist who had interviewed him the day before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And yet on Ramsay's TV competitions, despite the fact that the judges are almost always men, women thrive and, more often than not, win. Of 17 seasons of \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em>, 11 of the winners are women. So were five out of the first six winners of \u003cem>MasterChef. \u003c/em>One, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/theposhtart/?hl=en\">Courtney Lapresi\u003c/a>, talked openly about her work as a stripper and suffered zero judgment for it. (Shows like \u003ca href=\"https://people.com/tv/americas-next-top-model-contestant-angelea-preston-fired-for-escort-past/\">\u003cem>America's Next Top Model\u003c/em> have proven far less tolerant\u003c/a> of sex workers.) Another winner, Whitney Miller, was just 22-years-old and sweet in a way that you'd expect to rub Ramsay the wrong way. Other female winners have included a blind Asian-American woman (\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_H%C3%A0\">Christine Hà\u003c/a>) and a Latina single mom who is now a judge on \u003ca href=\"https://www.telemundo.com/shows/masterchef-latino\">\u003cem>Masterchef Latino\u003c/em>\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"http://www.chefclaudiascocina.com/\">Claudia Sandoval\u003c/a>). Only two of the nine \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> winners have been white men—the demographic most likely to dominate professional kitchens.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/G1NJoJBr6c8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/G1NJoJBr6c8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having a 50/50 male-female contestant split at the start of every season offers a level playing field that simply does not exist in the real world yet. And the stakes are high—both \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em> give a prize of $250,000 to the winner, as well as an international cookbook deal and a head chef position at one of Ramsay's restaurants, respectively. What's more, during eliminations, Ramsay has been known to offer some contestants either jobs with him or loans to launch their own businesses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's possible that Ramsay's attitude adjustment is thanks, at least in part, to Claire Smyth. In 2002, she had the distinction of being the first woman Ramsay ever hired to work in one of his kitchens. After becoming a head chef for him in London, she acquired three Michelin stars, an MBE and the accolade of \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/aug/03/clare-smyth-worlds-best-female-chef-im-not-going-to-stand-and-shout-at-someone-its-just-not-nice\">best female chef in the world.\u003c/a> She acknowledged how tough it was to get there in a 2007 interview, saying: \"It took me a long time to earn respect. I had to work twice as hard. I could never say I was tired or I was sick or I had cut my finger because the response would have been: ‘It’s because you’re a girl.’”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If Smyth demonstrated to Ramsay what a woman could do in a professional kitchen, \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Hartnett\">Angela Hartnett\u003c/a> proved it wasn't a fluke. After being mentored by Ramsay, she too was awarded an MBE and Michelin star. She opened his Boca Raton restaurant, Cielo, in 2007.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Praising Gordon Ramsay for finally treating women as equals feels a bit like giving someone an award for no longer kicking you. But in 2017, he was ranked the fourth \u003ca href=\"https://www.thedailymeal.com/eat/america-s-25-most-successful-chefs-2017-slideshow/slide-23\">most successful chef in the world\u003c/a>. Ramsay has a public profile and international visibility that is unrivaled in the industry. As such, the importance of the example he is setting cannot be overstated. Not only are contestants' lives changed by the prizes and education these shows offer, the success of women on them serves as both an \"If you can see it, you can be it\" inspiration to viewers, and a demonstration to the industry that women are just as capable of running a kitchen as men are. In a perfect world, we wouldn't need TV shows to prove that, but until things get better across the food industry, \u003cem>MasterChef\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Hell's Kitchen\u003c/em> offer us a glimpse of just how much better things could be.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "Why the New Michael Jackson Documentary Won’t Have the Impact ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ Did",
"headTitle": "Why the New Michael Jackson Documentary Won’t Have the Impact ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ Did | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>If anyone ever needed a reminder of the awesome power of documentaries, \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em> provided a particularly impactful one. Since the docuseries aired, Kelly has been \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/18/arts/music/r-kelly-rca-sony.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR36M8K7oo1nozw-gfuI7s5cfThQVjSgfWng_CeHaIm82a11_RhtBKY1z5Q\">dropped\u003c/a> by RCA, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108417/lady-gaga-needs-to-talk-about-r-kelly\">denounced\u003c/a> by former collaborators, become the focus of one investigation in Georgia, another into his studio in Chicago, seen his ex-manager served with an arrest warrant, and had his music banned by at least two radio stations. After years of dodged bullets, \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em> brought about a major shift in how the world views the R&B star.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid=arts_13938155]A new documentary about Michael Jackson, titled \u003ca href=\"https://www.sundance.org/projects/leaving-neverland\">\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, is hoping to prompt a similar change, by exploring the stories of two men who say Jackson sexually abused them. “Through gut-wrenching interviews with the now-adult men and their families,” the film’s press release states, “\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> crafts a portrait of sustained exploitation and deception, documenting the power of celebrity that allowed a revered figure to infiltrate the lives of starstruck children and their parents.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The two-part, four-hour film by director \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0715371/\">Dan Reed\u003c/a>, premiered at Sundance over the weekend and will air on HBO in the spring. Weeks ago, news that it even existed was greeted with strong condemnation by Jackson’s estate, which said: “This is yet another lurid production in an outrageous and pathetic attempt to exploit and cash in on Michael Jackson.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson’s nephew Taj spoke out on Twitter:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/tajjackson3/status/1083465977587654657?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1083465977587654657&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmadamenoire.com%2F1055879%2Ffinding-neverland%2F\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson supporters were also quick to respond. “I’m absolutely sick of it,” says British fan, Charlotte Childs. “The man was found innocent! I didn’t blindly accept that; I did my research and read the court transcripts. There’s a lot of stuff going on in the fan community right now—petitions and rebuttal videos are in the works.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A couple of them surfaced before the film did. One accused \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuba-G87YMo\">of defamation\u003c/a>. Another—\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6kHPJhA1kk\">a movie trailer parody\u003c/a>—called Jackson’s prior accusers “blatant liars.” Pressure was so great on Sundance that, weeks in advance, the festival was forced to release a statement to confirm it \u003ca href=\"https://www.indiewire.com/2019/01/sundance-michael-jackson-child-abuse-doc-leaving-neverland-fan-protests-1202035204/\">would not be removing\u003c/a> the documentary from its lineup. It also provided an increased police presence at the first screening, in anticipation of protesters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid=pop_109856]Jackson fans have a history of leaping to his defense fiercely and fast. And there are a lot of them. You’d be hard pressed to find a musician whose work is as universally loved as Michael Jackson’s. His impact was so enormous, it’s fairly difficult to find anyone between the ages of 25 and 75 who doesn’t, in some way, have an emotional connection to his music. In the end, if the rumors about him are proven true—and some viewers at \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>‘s premiere were \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/AmyKinLA/status/1088949957195776000\">definitely leaning in that direction\u003c/a>—it will be a pop culture loss the likes of which we’ve never seen before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson cuts a more sympathetic figure than most famous men who’ve come under the #MeToo microscope, in part because he is no longer alive, and because, when he was, he was frequently viewed as a vulnerable victim of both press and circumstance. Two musicians I interviewed about \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> before its release both separately used the phrase “easy target” in relation to Jackson and the accusations made against him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while Jackson and R. Kelly both suffered difficult, abusive childhoods, in adulthood, Jackson made sure we never stopped thinking about his. He cultivated an image of a man-child; isolated, sensitive and given neither the opportunity to reach adulthood on his own terms nor a chance to grow into a truly independent, free person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The publication of his 1988 autobiography, \u003cem>Moon Walk\u003c/em>, established an ever-present pain in Jackson’s persona and subsequently left behind a residue of public guilt. If he hadn’t spent his childhood over-worked and on tour, the story went, he wouldn’t need an amusement park and a zoo at his house as an adult. The implication is that the fault of his eccentric behavior and habits lies, at least partially, with a public who adored him too much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid=pop_16314]Some of the elements of Jackson’s persona were specifically designed to elicit this response in fans. In a recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2009/09/michael-jackson200909\">\u003cem>Vanity Fair\u003c/em> story\u003c/a>, journalist and longtime friend Lisa Robinson talks of Jackson’s “two voices he could produce at will.” One was the gentle squeak he used for public appearances, the other was, in Robinson’s words “lower,” “more ‘normal’,” and reserved for private conversations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Interestingly, Robinson’s story reflects exactly how the public most likes to think about Jackson. It focuses on a catalogue of interviews that she conducted with him between 1972 and 1989 (four years before the first child molestation trial). What happened in Jackson’s life after those interviews is summed up in a single paragraph:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>“Before the onstage crotch grabbing, before the disfiguring plastic surgeries, before the peculiar disguises, before the suspect marriages, before the mysteriously conceived children, before the rumored drug addictions and insomnia, and even before…the hospital stays, the alleged family estrangements, the profligate spending, the grotesque tchotchke hoarding, the over-the-top fantasyland ranch…and certainly way before the child-molestation accusations and trial, Michael Jackson was one of the most talented, adorable, enthusiastic, sweet, ebullient performers I’d ever interviewed.”\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>That’s the Michael Jackson the world most fondly, and often, remembers. Because for almost 20 years, he was simply one of the greatest talents the world had ever seen. When your great first impression lasts two decades, people are able to hold onto it, regardless of what comes later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The result of that is that Michael Jackson has never really fallen out of favor. Just this month, fashion giant \u003ca href=\"https://www.vogue.com/article/louis-vuitton-mens-fall-2019-paris-virgil-abloh-michael-jackson\">Louis Vuitton honored Jackson\u003c/a> in a special runway show that attendees were invited to via bedazzled, single white gloves. One of January’s most popular viral videos was that of UCLA gymnast, Katelyn Ohashi, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108600/katelyn-ohashis-gymnastics-routine-is-the-energy-we-need-in-2019\">performing an exhilarating routine\u003c/a> soundtracked by Michael Jackson and his siblings. \u003ca href=\"https://thrillerlive.com/\">\u003cem>Thriller Live, \u003c/em>\u003c/a>an MJ musical, is now enjoying its “record-breaking” tenth year in the heart of London’s theater district.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is all despite the horrifying allegations that were made during the 2005 trial—sleepovers with children, Jackson giving them wine (apparently nicknamed \u003ca href=\"https://www.eonline.com/news/44546/michael-jackson-s-jesus-juice\">“Jesus Juice”\u003c/a> and “Jesus Blood”), “triple-locked \u003ca href=\"https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/22/michael-jackson-stashed-pictures-of-animal-torture-and-nude-chil/\">secret closets”\u003c/a> and, most shocking of all, “\u003ca href=\"https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3653380/Michael-Jackson-s-secret-underage-sex-closet-Inside-raid-uncovered-King-Pop-s-extensive-collection-photos-featuring-naked-teenage-boys.html\">an extensive collection of photos featuring naked teenage boys\u003c/a>.” The crowds outside the courthouse were \u003ca href=\"https://vimeo.com/273631968?fbclid=IwAR2W1SoYQdlrazEOX0r5YDPtkYF-940-ToTDyDmQFFi_gDYNf742EmtgQpc\">unwavering in their dedication\u003c/a> to Jackson at the time, and many of them remain so today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I look at it this way,” Las Vegas fan, Chris King says. “Corey Feldman has been a pedophile exposer now for years. No mention of Michael. Macaulay Culkin has been out of the spotlight for 15 years and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BstTcWRgZt_/?fbclid=IwAR1saxhJaiIvPXwAfTDKo_m7eTNW9mcsvLkLTPDEQwys9R54QC2DZDKtFNY\">not a peep from him\u003c/a> either. Going back to childhood, I never believed it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[aside postid=arts_13901400]Another lifelong fan, who asked to remain anonymous, acknowledged that she doesn’t hold Jackson accountable in the same way she does other musicians. “I flip out that Drake is texting a 13-year-old girl, and I think R. Kelly is a monster, but I know I’ve also victim-shamed the kids that accused Michael. Which is crazy. When the first trial happened, I saw it as an attack on my idol. It happened at a time when public information was a lot more limited, so I essentially went on my gut and the verdict. It’s much easier to go with the things that back up my faith in him, and believe this was about those kids needing money than it is to accept what I don’t want to hear.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just how many people will avoid \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> for those same reasons is impossible to predict. But the response it received before the emergence of so much as a trailer, speaks volumes about our nation’s relationship with both Michael Jackson, and, more generally, America’s musical heroes. It’s clear that, regardless of what comes out in the film, there are a great many people who will keep Michael Jackson firmly on his pedestal, whether he deserves it or not.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>If anyone ever needed a reminder of the awesome power of documentaries, \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em> provided a particularly impactful one. Since the docuseries aired, Kelly has been \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/18/arts/music/r-kelly-rca-sony.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&fbclid=IwAR36M8K7oo1nozw-gfuI7s5cfThQVjSgfWng_CeHaIm82a11_RhtBKY1z5Q\">dropped\u003c/a> by RCA, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108417/lady-gaga-needs-to-talk-about-r-kelly\">denounced\u003c/a> by former collaborators, become the focus of one investigation in Georgia, another into his studio in Chicago, seen his ex-manager served with an arrest warrant, and had his music banned by at least two radio stations. After years of dodged bullets, \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em> brought about a major shift in how the world views the R&B star.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>A new documentary about Michael Jackson, titled \u003ca href=\"https://www.sundance.org/projects/leaving-neverland\">\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, is hoping to prompt a similar change, by exploring the stories of two men who say Jackson sexually abused them. “Through gut-wrenching interviews with the now-adult men and their families,” the film’s press release states, “\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> crafts a portrait of sustained exploitation and deception, documenting the power of celebrity that allowed a revered figure to infiltrate the lives of starstruck children and their parents.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The two-part, four-hour film by director \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0715371/\">Dan Reed\u003c/a>, premiered at Sundance over the weekend and will air on HBO in the spring. Weeks ago, news that it even existed was greeted with strong condemnation by Jackson’s estate, which said: “This is yet another lurid production in an outrageous and pathetic attempt to exploit and cash in on Michael Jackson.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson’s nephew Taj spoke out on Twitter:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson supporters were also quick to respond. “I’m absolutely sick of it,” says British fan, Charlotte Childs. “The man was found innocent! I didn’t blindly accept that; I did my research and read the court transcripts. There’s a lot of stuff going on in the fan community right now—petitions and rebuttal videos are in the works.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A couple of them surfaced before the film did. One accused \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuba-G87YMo\">of defamation\u003c/a>. Another—\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6kHPJhA1kk\">a movie trailer parody\u003c/a>—called Jackson’s prior accusers “blatant liars.” Pressure was so great on Sundance that, weeks in advance, the festival was forced to release a statement to confirm it \u003ca href=\"https://www.indiewire.com/2019/01/sundance-michael-jackson-child-abuse-doc-leaving-neverland-fan-protests-1202035204/\">would not be removing\u003c/a> the documentary from its lineup. It also provided an increased police presence at the first screening, in anticipation of protesters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Jackson fans have a history of leaping to his defense fiercely and fast. And there are a lot of them. You’d be hard pressed to find a musician whose work is as universally loved as Michael Jackson’s. His impact was so enormous, it’s fairly difficult to find anyone between the ages of 25 and 75 who doesn’t, in some way, have an emotional connection to his music. In the end, if the rumors about him are proven true—and some viewers at \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>‘s premiere were \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/AmyKinLA/status/1088949957195776000\">definitely leaning in that direction\u003c/a>—it will be a pop culture loss the likes of which we’ve never seen before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson cuts a more sympathetic figure than most famous men who’ve come under the #MeToo microscope, in part because he is no longer alive, and because, when he was, he was frequently viewed as a vulnerable victim of both press and circumstance. Two musicians I interviewed about \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> before its release both separately used the phrase “easy target” in relation to Jackson and the accusations made against him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while Jackson and R. Kelly both suffered difficult, abusive childhoods, in adulthood, Jackson made sure we never stopped thinking about his. He cultivated an image of a man-child; isolated, sensitive and given neither the opportunity to reach adulthood on his own terms nor a chance to grow into a truly independent, free person.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The publication of his 1988 autobiography, \u003cem>Moon Walk\u003c/em>, established an ever-present pain in Jackson’s persona and subsequently left behind a residue of public guilt. If he hadn’t spent his childhood over-worked and on tour, the story went, he wouldn’t need an amusement park and a zoo at his house as an adult. The implication is that the fault of his eccentric behavior and habits lies, at least partially, with a public who adored him too much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Some of the elements of Jackson’s persona were specifically designed to elicit this response in fans. In a recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2009/09/michael-jackson200909\">\u003cem>Vanity Fair\u003c/em> story\u003c/a>, journalist and longtime friend Lisa Robinson talks of Jackson’s “two voices he could produce at will.” One was the gentle squeak he used for public appearances, the other was, in Robinson’s words “lower,” “more ‘normal’,” and reserved for private conversations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Interestingly, Robinson’s story reflects exactly how the public most likes to think about Jackson. It focuses on a catalogue of interviews that she conducted with him between 1972 and 1989 (four years before the first child molestation trial). What happened in Jackson’s life after those interviews is summed up in a single paragraph:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>“Before the onstage crotch grabbing, before the disfiguring plastic surgeries, before the peculiar disguises, before the suspect marriages, before the mysteriously conceived children, before the rumored drug addictions and insomnia, and even before…the hospital stays, the alleged family estrangements, the profligate spending, the grotesque tchotchke hoarding, the over-the-top fantasyland ranch…and certainly way before the child-molestation accusations and trial, Michael Jackson was one of the most talented, adorable, enthusiastic, sweet, ebullient performers I’d ever interviewed.”\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>That’s the Michael Jackson the world most fondly, and often, remembers. Because for almost 20 years, he was simply one of the greatest talents the world had ever seen. When your great first impression lasts two decades, people are able to hold onto it, regardless of what comes later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The result of that is that Michael Jackson has never really fallen out of favor. Just this month, fashion giant \u003ca href=\"https://www.vogue.com/article/louis-vuitton-mens-fall-2019-paris-virgil-abloh-michael-jackson\">Louis Vuitton honored Jackson\u003c/a> in a special runway show that attendees were invited to via bedazzled, single white gloves. One of January’s most popular viral videos was that of UCLA gymnast, Katelyn Ohashi, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108600/katelyn-ohashis-gymnastics-routine-is-the-energy-we-need-in-2019\">performing an exhilarating routine\u003c/a> soundtracked by Michael Jackson and his siblings. \u003ca href=\"https://thrillerlive.com/\">\u003cem>Thriller Live, \u003c/em>\u003c/a>an MJ musical, is now enjoying its “record-breaking” tenth year in the heart of London’s theater district.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is all despite the horrifying allegations that were made during the 2005 trial—sleepovers with children, Jackson giving them wine (apparently nicknamed \u003ca href=\"https://www.eonline.com/news/44546/michael-jackson-s-jesus-juice\">“Jesus Juice”\u003c/a> and “Jesus Blood”), “triple-locked \u003ca href=\"https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/22/michael-jackson-stashed-pictures-of-animal-torture-and-nude-chil/\">secret closets”\u003c/a> and, most shocking of all, “\u003ca href=\"https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3653380/Michael-Jackson-s-secret-underage-sex-closet-Inside-raid-uncovered-King-Pop-s-extensive-collection-photos-featuring-naked-teenage-boys.html\">an extensive collection of photos featuring naked teenage boys\u003c/a>.” The crowds outside the courthouse were \u003ca href=\"https://vimeo.com/273631968?fbclid=IwAR2W1SoYQdlrazEOX0r5YDPtkYF-940-ToTDyDmQFFi_gDYNf742EmtgQpc\">unwavering in their dedication\u003c/a> to Jackson at the time, and many of them remain so today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I look at it this way,” Las Vegas fan, Chris King says. “Corey Feldman has been a pedophile exposer now for years. No mention of Michael. Macaulay Culkin has been out of the spotlight for 15 years and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BstTcWRgZt_/?fbclid=IwAR1saxhJaiIvPXwAfTDKo_m7eTNW9mcsvLkLTPDEQwys9R54QC2DZDKtFNY\">not a peep from him\u003c/a> either. Going back to childhood, I never believed it.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>Another lifelong fan, who asked to remain anonymous, acknowledged that she doesn’t hold Jackson accountable in the same way she does other musicians. “I flip out that Drake is texting a 13-year-old girl, and I think R. Kelly is a monster, but I know I’ve also victim-shamed the kids that accused Michael. Which is crazy. When the first trial happened, I saw it as an attack on my idol. It happened at a time when public information was a lot more limited, so I essentially went on my gut and the verdict. It’s much easier to go with the things that back up my faith in him, and believe this was about those kids needing money than it is to accept what I don’t want to hear.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just how many people will avoid \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> for those same reasons is impossible to predict. But the response it received before the emergence of so much as a trailer, speaks volumes about our nation’s relationship with both Michael Jackson, and, more generally, America’s musical heroes. It’s clear that, regardless of what comes out in the film, there are a great many people who will keep Michael Jackson firmly on his pedestal, whether he deserves it or not.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Queen gave birth to yet another baby (*lets out a pregnant sigh*). For those keeping score, that's six down, three to go. Hang in there, everyone! Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid got hitched and also got down and dirty (*prays that they used protection*). And \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> thwarted Lord Pam's plan to frame and destroy the Chartist movement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to all the unrest, Victoria and her entire #squad hightailed it over to the Isle of Wight. The last time this show went on a field trip, the Season 2 Gays went skinny dipping next to a waterfall. Maybe something like that will happen again? Are you there, God? It's me, Emmanuel. Make it so!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's find out if praying works! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The episode's opening shot looks like something straight out of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, which is enough of an excuse for me to say I MISS HORACE THE PUG SO MUCH and to place his beautiful mug here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I digress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Any of us who played soccer growing up remember saying \"Good game, good game, good game...\" while slapping the other team's hands. Because the life of a future king is quite sheltered and lonely, Bertie has to recreate that experience with dead fish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108880 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-dead-fishes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's another way one can turn a dead fish into a playmate? Run around with it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108879 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-running-with-fish.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Look, mom! I found Nemo!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108878 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-fish.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is going to order one of her servants to spank Bertie, isn't she?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Lord Pam is making fun of Victoria for running away. He's also cozying up to yet another anti-royalist revolutionary because he's messy and lives for drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>French revolutionaries are so two episodes ago. It's all about Hungarians now, specifically a dude named Lajos Kossuth, who got himself exiled for being a thorn in the side of royals. Sound like anyone we know? Birds of a feather flock together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I used Lajos' actual photo because what a flex to shave your entire chin and nothing else.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on the Isle of Wight, Mean Butler earns the right to be called by his actual name for once (Mr. Penge!) by gifting us this glorious eye roll moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108898\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-penge-eye-roll.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"425\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And he's not the only character making me question why I dislike them. Last episode, Albert received a gold medal for uttering my new favorite succession of words: \"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\" Now, while sharing his opinion of Lord Pam buddying up with the Hungarian, he has introduced me to another wonderful new insult: \"He is a blaggard and he must be disciplined!\" (For those who don't know, a \"blaggard\" is \"a scoundrel; an unprincipled contemptible person; an untrustworthy person.\") Is it possible that, after two and a half seasons, I'm finally starting to... like Albert?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/what-is-wrong-with-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"259\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other news, Disney Princess gets word that Disney Villain has sent their six-year-old off to boarding school. New Footman is eavesdropping nearby. Slow and steady wins the race, but can we fast-forward this secret crush to the part when he does this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108904\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/to-me-you-are-perfect.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria is fuming because Hot Italian Chef has offered a letter of resignation. Albert doesn't understand what the big deal is: \"Victoria, really this is such a trivial domestic matter!\" Tread carefully, Al. I just started liking you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria asks Babyface Maid if she knew anything about this. Her response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid retreats to the kitchen and tells Hot Italian Chef she can't believe he actually followed through on their plan. Um, yeah, girl. He didn't buy an inn for shits and giggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef encourages her to resign too, just like they planned. Again, Babyface Maid is all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back upstairs, Albert is now the one fuming. Not over resignations, but about how dumb Bertie is. \"HE DOESN'T READ!\" Yeah, we know. We've seen him with an abacus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/abacus-bertie-not-bright.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because, the next day, Victoria is about to swim for the first time and asks, \"Do you suppose it's possible actually to breathe under the water?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108905\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/read-a-book-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"340\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I should mention that she's wearing this number as a bathing suit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108906\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1020x609.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"382\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1020x609.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-160x96.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-800x478.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-768x459.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1200x717.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit.png 1246w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You can't tell, but I'm fully pointing and laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere seconds into her swim, Victoria learns the hard way that, no, you can't breathe underwater and, yes, you can drown in knee-deep water if you put your mind to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108907\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-drowning.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To make matters worse, Lord Pam and Prime Minister Pushover arrive at that exact moment. But she quickly takes back the upper hand with this exchange:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"Kossuth's reception into Britain makes my country look duplicitous and weak.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"With respect, ma'am...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"There is no respect in what you have to say, Lord Pam. Saying 'with respect' does not put it there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/clapback-meme-victoria-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a garden, Disney Princess and New Footman finally have a conversation! Progress! Alas, their chat is mostly about her other crush, Lord Pam. This \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em> love triangle is heating up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108780\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/felicity-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"739\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Albert is trying to teach Bertie how to not be so stupid. He asks him to multiply two by zero. Bertie guesses two, then twenty, which inspires yet another hilarious line from Albert: \"This boy's refusal to learn is... PREPOSTEROUS!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108908\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/hiding-laughing-lol-baby-jane.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, everyone gathers for a party. New Footman and Lord Pam both make eyes at Disney Princess, but New Footman is the first to make a move. \"Forgive me, your grace, there's something come adrift.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oooo, his heart? Or maybe something more scandalous below the waist??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Womp, womp! He just meant that her shoulder strap fell and her shoulder is hanging out totally naked (shield the children's eyes!). As far as pick-up lines go, I give this one an A+ for helpfulness and an F in every other category.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's see how Lord Pam does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Where's your husband, Duchess? The man to whom you are married.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"He's in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Excellent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"It is \u003cem>shocking\u003c/em> that you find it excellent that my husband isn't here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Excessively shocking, but also excellent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nice work! And Disney Princess agrees because the two of them immediately sneak down a dark hallway to hook up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108909\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/living-single-fan-self.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast! One of Victoria's other ladies interrupts by pointedly asking about Lord Pam's wife. The feeling when you're trying to convince your friend not to be a ho:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108910\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dont-be-a-ho-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, news arrives that the German mobs no longer want to kill Xenadora and she can finally return home. Instead of smiling, her face muscles start doing weird things again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108911\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-muscle-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora cries long enough for Albert to say she can stay. A noted scammer himself, Lord Pam recognizes how full of it she is and tells her so in a vaguely threatening tone later on. Just based on how Xenadora always looks as if she's stifling a primal scream, I wouldn't want to be on her bad side. This battle oughtta be good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the royal bedroom, Victoria complains about how thirsty Lord Pam is for the public's love. Albert tells her she's just as bad (and he's right; remember last episode when she cried by a fountain for not getting 100 likes on her Instagram post?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However valid, Victoria is not here for personal criticism and promptly shuts it down: \"It is your prerogative to favor me with analysis, mine to disregard it. Now I wish to sleep. Goodnight!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108912\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-like-that-bloop-nene.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dead of night, Lord Pam sneaks into Disney Princess' room and smells her shoulder. Except it's not her shoulder! She and Xenadora switched rooms!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108913\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/abort-abort-bethenny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora smiles to herself. Blackmail is on the menu! He thought he could outmaneuver her? Ha!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember earlier in this recap when I prayed to a higher power for this vacation to feature something resembling the gay skinny dipping waterfall scene? Well, guess what...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10201\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman randomly wakes up in the morning and gets completely butt naked for a swim!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108915\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-footman-skinny-dip-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess Victoria's full body swimsuit wasn't really his style?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love how unnecessary and shameless this scene is. It's as if the \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers are taunting the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers: \u003cem>Oh, you always have your male characters swim without their shirts on? Hold my beer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By all means, keep one-upping each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Xenadora is in full blackmail mode with Lord Pam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \"The Queen and her husband detest you. How that antipathy would...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*SHE THEN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS CROTCH!!!*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003cem>swell, \u003c/em>if they learned about last night. Don't sulk. It doesn't suit you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria might be the Queen of Britain, but Xenadora is the Queen of Petty, and I live for it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the newlyweds' nest, the \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers find another way to stick it to \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> by prominently featuring a naked Hot Italian Chef partly covered by a bed sheet. It's hard to hear over the sound of his chest hair, but the lovebirds are still disagreeing over whether Babyface Maid should resign or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Hot Italian Chef:\u003c/strong> \"In any one day, you are allowed precisely 20 minutes of liberty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Babyface Maid:\u003c/strong> \"I think we just made pretty good use of it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108916\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kenan-snl-shocked-amused-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She makes a good point!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another part of the palace, Lord Pam is looking at some creepy baby limbs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108918\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1020x450.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"282\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1020x450.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-160x71.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-800x353.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-768x338.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1200x529.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs.png 1906w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why are these a thing, other than to give us all nightmares?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the lady who cockblocked Lord Pam and Disney Princess appears and tells him the following:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Disney Princess is out of bounds, not to be used for the amorous complications you have in mind. I ask this in remembrance of \u003cem>our own\u003c/em> complications.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108920\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xtina-aguilera-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is messy this season. I love it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Disney Princess finds Lord Pam in the garden and is all over him. Lord Pam is not receptive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-off-me-lord-pam-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam admits that yes, he could totally rock her world cause he's really great at sex, but he doesn't feel like it. This is the face you make when you don't get to cheat on your evil husband:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108928\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dumped-dissed-victoria-pbs-sad-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>May I suggest a cold bath? Not in Albert's bathroom though. That kinky Hercules painting will just get you all riled up again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On her way to maybe take my advice, Disney Princess runs into New Footman and yells, \"GET OUT OF THE WAY!\" in his face. This is no way to treat the guy you're most likely going to hook up with two or three episodes from now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman isn't fazed by her rudeness though and offers her a handkerchief and a brief TEDTalk about the wonders of skinny dipping in the sea. Oh, just make out already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108931\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-bean-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"394\" height=\"299\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside, Babyface Maid finally works up the nerve to quit. Huzzah! Now she gets to enjoy Hot Italian Chef's chest hair for more than 20 minutes a day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This doesn't put the Queen in a celebratory mood though. Victoria, I know it's not fair that Albert doesn't have any chest hair, but you can draw some on if it really bothers you that much!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108939\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-albert-chest-hair-shirtless.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner that night, Albert grades Bertie's homework...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108929\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dumbass.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and continues to quiz him because surely this kid isn't that dumb, right? Bertie screams, \"I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!\" Before Albert can discipline him, Victoria says, \"Please don't bully my child!\" Then she throws a drink in his face because why not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108921\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-throw-water-albert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Masterpiece Theater presents \u003cem>The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is the most entertaining thing to happen at a ritzy dinner table since Lord Grantham puked blood all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20146\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/downton-abbey-graphic-bloody-robert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ah, memories...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Xenadora makes Victoria feel better about disrespecting her husband in front of everyone: \"One quite understands. The wine was not good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-york-tiffany-wine-laughing-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"307\" height=\"179\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A stand-up comedy star is born! And a two-timing one at that. Moments after ingratiating herself with Victoria, Xenadora runs to Albert's side to tell him, \"Repeated childbirths make women stupid.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108933\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/wow-that-is-so-rude.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"175\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of rudeness, after Babyface Maid is finished brushing Victoria's hair before bed, she asks, \"Will that be all, your majesty?\" to which Victoria pointedly says, \"Apparently so!\" That's a weird way of saying \"Thanks for everything! Congrats on marrying a furry man! Let's definitely keep in touch!\" Victoria didn't throw wine in her face though, so I guess that's something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another day, another skinny dip. (Take that, Ross Poldark!) Mean Butler (the eye roll drumming moment was awesome, but he loses rights to his proper name cause I still hate him) fires New Footman for missing church and being a part-time nudist. Where's the ACLU when you need 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the driveway, now that they both realize they're cut from the same fame-whore cloth, Victoria and Lord Pam decide to be friends, paving the way for Xenadora to take over as our Season 3 villain. Pass me the popcorn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Disney Princess happens to ask about the whereabouts of \"that large fellow\" and finds out he's been canned. That large fellow? His name is Your Future Baby Daddy, so have some respect!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert is still waiting for Victoria to say, \"Hey, my dude, sorry for throwing a drink in your face in front of everyone for no reason.\" Instead, she says she's returning to London and he can stay behind if he wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108932\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-aint-sorry-beyonce.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"170\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Disney Princess makes up a story that New Footman was running an errand for her during church and must be rehired. We are one step closer to New Footman writing a declaration of love on a big piece of poster board! Skinny dippers of the world, rejoice!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a long travel day, the gang is back in London and pulling up to Buckingham Palace. Things are very tense in Victoria and Albert's carriage. He breaks the tension by adding even more: \"The people await their Queen. And she waits to be adored.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108935\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/awkward-make-it-more-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Xenadora is leaning into her new role as Season 3 Villain by looking out of her carriage like an absolute weirdo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108923\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/evil-xenadora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108924 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/evil-xenadora-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid chat about their next chapter and embrace in the kitchen. Sensing joy, Mean Butler shows up to extinguish it: \"What the hell do you think you're doing?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef responds, \"I'm comforting my wife. What are you doing?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mean Butler thinks, \u003cem>Oh, nothing much, just living a miserable, empty and lonely existence\u003c/em>, and then promptly has an existential crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria tries to barge into Albert's room. Only trouble is he already thought to lock her out. Outraged, she kicks the door and storms off. Xenadora's evil plan is working!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Victoria's Childhood Tutor. \u003c/strong>They really should have gotten around to teaching her that humans can't breathe underwater.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Isle of Wight Tourism Bureau. \u003c/strong>Congrats on convincing all of us to visit. See y'all (and your naked butts) at the beach!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Hot Italian Chef's chest hair and New Footman's butt. \u003c/strong>I'm usually annoyed when this show inundates us with new characters, but these newbies can stay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Xenadora. \u003c/strong>Validating drink-throwing by saying the wine sucks? Comedy gold. Looking at Lord Pam's crotch, while saying the word 'swell'? A boss move. How can you not appreciate this face-twitching weirdo?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Albert\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>I know. I'm just as surprised as you are that he's getting this prize two weeks in a row. But he keeps offering up great lines:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"He is a blaggard and he must be disciplined!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"HE DOESN'T READ!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"This boy's refusal to learn is... PREPOSTEROUS!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Plus, he was pretty cool about having that drink thrown in his face. Cheers to him for deciding not to be insufferable this season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Skinny dipping! Adultery! A drink thrown in someone's face! Masterpiece presents Victoria a.k.a. The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace!",
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"description": "Skinny dipping! Adultery! A drink thrown in someone's face! Masterpiece presents Victoria a.k.a. The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace!",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita | KQED",
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"headline": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Queen gave birth to yet another baby (*lets out a pregnant sigh*). For those keeping score, that's six down, three to go. Hang in there, everyone! Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid got hitched and also got down and dirty (*prays that they used protection*). And \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> thwarted Lord Pam's plan to frame and destroy the Chartist movement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to all the unrest, Victoria and her entire #squad hightailed it over to the Isle of Wight. The last time this show went on a field trip, the Season 2 Gays went skinny dipping next to a waterfall. Maybe something like that will happen again? Are you there, God? It's me, Emmanuel. Make it so!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's find out if praying works! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The episode's opening shot looks like something straight out of \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, which is enough of an excuse for me to say I MISS HORACE THE PUG SO MUCH and to place his beautiful mug here:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I digress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Any of us who played soccer growing up remember saying \"Good game, good game, good game...\" while slapping the other team's hands. Because the life of a future king is quite sheltered and lonely, Bertie has to recreate that experience with dead fish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108880 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-dead-fishes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's another way one can turn a dead fish into a playmate? Run around with it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108879 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-running-with-fish.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Look, mom! I found Nemo!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108878 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-fish.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is going to order one of her servants to spank Bertie, isn't she?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Lord Pam is making fun of Victoria for running away. He's also cozying up to yet another anti-royalist revolutionary because he's messy and lives for drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>French revolutionaries are so two episodes ago. It's all about Hungarians now, specifically a dude named Lajos Kossuth, who got himself exiled for being a thorn in the side of royals. Sound like anyone we know? Birds of a feather flock together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I used Lajos' actual photo because what a flex to shave your entire chin and nothing else.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on the Isle of Wight, Mean Butler earns the right to be called by his actual name for once (Mr. Penge!) by gifting us this glorious eye roll moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108898\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-penge-eye-roll.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"425\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And he's not the only character making me question why I dislike them. Last episode, Albert received a gold medal for uttering my new favorite succession of words: \"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\" Now, while sharing his opinion of Lord Pam buddying up with the Hungarian, he has introduced me to another wonderful new insult: \"He is a blaggard and he must be disciplined!\" (For those who don't know, a \"blaggard\" is \"a scoundrel; an unprincipled contemptible person; an untrustworthy person.\") Is it possible that, after two and a half seasons, I'm finally starting to... like Albert?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/what-is-wrong-with-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"259\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other news, Disney Princess gets word that Disney Villain has sent their six-year-old off to boarding school. New Footman is eavesdropping nearby. Slow and steady wins the race, but can we fast-forward this secret crush to the part when he does this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108904\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/to-me-you-are-perfect.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"430\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria is fuming because Hot Italian Chef has offered a letter of resignation. Albert doesn't understand what the big deal is: \"Victoria, really this is such a trivial domestic matter!\" Tread carefully, Al. I just started liking you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria asks Babyface Maid if she knew anything about this. Her response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid retreats to the kitchen and tells Hot Italian Chef she can't believe he actually followed through on their plan. Um, yeah, girl. He didn't buy an inn for shits and giggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef encourages her to resign too, just like they planned. Again, Babyface Maid is all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back upstairs, Albert is now the one fuming. Not over resignations, but about how dumb Bertie is. \"HE DOESN'T READ!\" Yeah, we know. We've seen him with an abacus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/abacus-bertie-not-bright.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because, the next day, Victoria is about to swim for the first time and asks, \"Do you suppose it's possible actually to breathe under the water?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108905\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/read-a-book-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"340\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I should mention that she's wearing this number as a bathing suit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108906\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1020x609.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"382\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1020x609.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-160x96.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-800x478.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-768x459.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit-1200x717.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-bathing-suit.png 1246w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You can't tell, but I'm fully pointing and laughing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere seconds into her swim, Victoria learns the hard way that, no, you can't breathe underwater and, yes, you can drown in knee-deep water if you put your mind to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108907\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-drowning.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To make matters worse, Lord Pam and Prime Minister Pushover arrive at that exact moment. But she quickly takes back the upper hand with this exchange:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"Kossuth's reception into Britain makes my country look duplicitous and weak.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"With respect, ma'am...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"There is no respect in what you have to say, Lord Pam. Saying 'with respect' does not put it there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/clapback-meme-victoria-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a garden, Disney Princess and New Footman finally have a conversation! Progress! Alas, their chat is mostly about her other crush, Lord Pam. This \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em> love triangle is heating up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108780\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/felicity-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"739\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Albert is trying to teach Bertie how to not be so stupid. He asks him to multiply two by zero. Bertie guesses two, then twenty, which inspires yet another hilarious line from Albert: \"This boy's refusal to learn is... PREPOSTEROUS!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108908\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/hiding-laughing-lol-baby-jane.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, everyone gathers for a party. New Footman and Lord Pam both make eyes at Disney Princess, but New Footman is the first to make a move. \"Forgive me, your grace, there's something come adrift.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oooo, his heart? Or maybe something more scandalous below the waist??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Womp, womp! He just meant that her shoulder strap fell and her shoulder is hanging out totally naked (shield the children's eyes!). As far as pick-up lines go, I give this one an A+ for helpfulness and an F in every other category.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's see how Lord Pam does.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Where's your husband, Duchess? The man to whom you are married.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"He's in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Excellent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess:\u003c/strong> \"It is \u003cem>shocking\u003c/em> that you find it excellent that my husband isn't here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam:\u003c/strong> \"Excessively shocking, but also excellent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nice work! And Disney Princess agrees because the two of them immediately sneak down a dark hallway to hook up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108909\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/living-single-fan-self.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast! One of Victoria's other ladies interrupts by pointedly asking about Lord Pam's wife. The feeling when you're trying to convince your friend not to be a ho:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108910\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dont-be-a-ho-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"203\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, news arrives that the German mobs no longer want to kill Xenadora and she can finally return home. Instead of smiling, her face muscles start doing weird things again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108911\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-muscle-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora cries long enough for Albert to say she can stay. A noted scammer himself, Lord Pam recognizes how full of it she is and tells her so in a vaguely threatening tone later on. Just based on how Xenadora always looks as if she's stifling a primal scream, I wouldn't want to be on her bad side. This battle oughtta be good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the royal bedroom, Victoria complains about how thirsty Lord Pam is for the public's love. Albert tells her she's just as bad (and he's right; remember last episode when she cried by a fountain for not getting 100 likes on her Instagram post?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However valid, Victoria is not here for personal criticism and promptly shuts it down: \"It is your prerogative to favor me with analysis, mine to disregard it. Now I wish to sleep. Goodnight!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108912\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-like-that-bloop-nene.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dead of night, Lord Pam sneaks into Disney Princess' room and smells her shoulder. Except it's not her shoulder! She and Xenadora switched rooms!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108913\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/abort-abort-bethenny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora smiles to herself. Blackmail is on the menu! He thought he could outmaneuver her? Ha!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember earlier in this recap when I prayed to a higher power for this vacation to feature something resembling the gay skinny dipping waterfall scene? Well, guess what...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10201\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/12/tumblr_ml252mhGRm1qedlsro1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman randomly wakes up in the morning and gets completely butt naked for a swim!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108915\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-footman-skinny-dip-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess Victoria's full body swimsuit wasn't really his style?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love how unnecessary and shameless this scene is. It's as if the \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers are taunting the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers: \u003cem>Oh, you always have your male characters swim without their shirts on? Hold my beer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By all means, keep one-upping each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Xenadora is in full blackmail mode with Lord Pam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \"The Queen and her husband detest you. How that antipathy would...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*SHE THEN LOOKS DOWN AT HIS CROTCH!!!*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003cem>swell, \u003c/em>if they learned about last night. Don't sulk. It doesn't suit you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria might be the Queen of Britain, but Xenadora is the Queen of Petty, and I live for it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the newlyweds' nest, the \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers find another way to stick it to \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> by prominently featuring a naked Hot Italian Chef partly covered by a bed sheet. It's hard to hear over the sound of his chest hair, but the lovebirds are still disagreeing over whether Babyface Maid should resign or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Hot Italian Chef:\u003c/strong> \"In any one day, you are allowed precisely 20 minutes of liberty.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Babyface Maid:\u003c/strong> \"I think we just made pretty good use of it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108916\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kenan-snl-shocked-amused-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She makes a good point!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another part of the palace, Lord Pam is looking at some creepy baby limbs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-108918\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1020x450.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"282\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1020x450.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-160x71.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-800x353.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-768x338.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs-1200x529.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/baby-limbs-victoria-pbs.png 1906w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why are these a thing, other than to give us all nightmares?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the lady who cockblocked Lord Pam and Disney Princess appears and tells him the following:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Disney Princess is out of bounds, not to be used for the amorous complications you have in mind. I ask this in remembrance of \u003cem>our own\u003c/em> complications.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108920\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xtina-aguilera-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is messy this season. I love it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Disney Princess finds Lord Pam in the garden and is all over him. Lord Pam is not receptive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-off-me-lord-pam-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam admits that yes, he could totally rock her world cause he's really great at sex, but he doesn't feel like it. This is the face you make when you don't get to cheat on your evil husband:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108928\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dumped-dissed-victoria-pbs-sad-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>May I suggest a cold bath? Not in Albert's bathroom though. That kinky Hercules painting will just get you all riled up again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On her way to maybe take my advice, Disney Princess runs into New Footman and yells, \"GET OUT OF THE WAY!\" in his face. This is no way to treat the guy you're most likely going to hook up with two or three episodes from now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman isn't fazed by her rudeness though and offers her a handkerchief and a brief TEDTalk about the wonders of skinny dipping in the sea. Oh, just make out already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108931\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mr-bean-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"394\" height=\"299\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside, Babyface Maid finally works up the nerve to quit. Huzzah! Now she gets to enjoy Hot Italian Chef's chest hair for more than 20 minutes a day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This doesn't put the Queen in a celebratory mood though. Victoria, I know it's not fair that Albert doesn't have any chest hair, but you can draw some on if it really bothers you that much!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108939\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-albert-chest-hair-shirtless.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner that night, Albert grades Bertie's homework...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108929\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dumbass.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and continues to quiz him because surely this kid isn't that dumb, right? Bertie screams, \"I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!\" Before Albert can discipline him, Victoria says, \"Please don't bully my child!\" Then she throws a drink in his face because why not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108921\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-pbs-throw-water-albert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Masterpiece Theater presents \u003cem>The Real Housewives of Buckingham Palace\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is the most entertaining thing to happen at a ritzy dinner table since Lord Grantham puked blood all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20146\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/downton-abbey-graphic-bloody-robert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ah, memories...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Xenadora makes Victoria feel better about disrespecting her husband in front of everyone: \"One quite understands. The wine was not good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-york-tiffany-wine-laughing-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"307\" height=\"179\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A stand-up comedy star is born! And a two-timing one at that. Moments after ingratiating herself with Victoria, Xenadora runs to Albert's side to tell him, \"Repeated childbirths make women stupid.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108933\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/wow-that-is-so-rude.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"175\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of rudeness, after Babyface Maid is finished brushing Victoria's hair before bed, she asks, \"Will that be all, your majesty?\" to which Victoria pointedly says, \"Apparently so!\" That's a weird way of saying \"Thanks for everything! Congrats on marrying a furry man! Let's definitely keep in touch!\" Victoria didn't throw wine in her face though, so I guess that's something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another day, another skinny dip. (Take that, Ross Poldark!) Mean Butler (the eye roll drumming moment was awesome, but he loses rights to his proper name cause I still hate him) fires New Footman for missing church and being a part-time nudist. Where's the ACLU when you need 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the driveway, now that they both realize they're cut from the same fame-whore cloth, Victoria and Lord Pam decide to be friends, paving the way for Xenadora to take over as our Season 3 villain. Pass me the popcorn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Disney Princess happens to ask about the whereabouts of \"that large fellow\" and finds out he's been canned. That large fellow? His name is Your Future Baby Daddy, so have some respect!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert is still waiting for Victoria to say, \"Hey, my dude, sorry for throwing a drink in your face in front of everyone for no reason.\" Instead, she says she's returning to London and he can stay behind if he wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108932\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-aint-sorry-beyonce.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"170\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Disney Princess makes up a story that New Footman was running an errand for her during church and must be rehired. We are one step closer to New Footman writing a declaration of love on a big piece of poster board! Skinny dippers of the world, rejoice!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a long travel day, the gang is back in London and pulling up to Buckingham Palace. Things are very tense in Victoria and Albert's carriage. He breaks the tension by adding even more: \"The people await their Queen. And she waits to be adored.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108935\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/awkward-make-it-more-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Xenadora is leaning into her new role as Season 3 Villain by looking out of her carriage like an absolute weirdo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108923\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/evil-xenadora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108924 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/evil-xenadora-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid chat about their next chapter and embrace in the kitchen. Sensing joy, Mean Butler shows up to extinguish it: \"What the hell do you think you're doing?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef responds, \"I'm comforting my wife. What are you doing?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mean Butler thinks, \u003cem>Oh, nothing much, just living a miserable, empty and lonely existence\u003c/em>, and then promptly has an existential crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria tries to barge into Albert's room. Only trouble is he already thought to lock her out. Outraged, she kicks the door and storms off. Xenadora's evil plan is working!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Victoria's Childhood Tutor. \u003c/strong>They really should have gotten around to teaching her that humans can't breathe underwater.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Isle of Wight Tourism Bureau. \u003c/strong>Congrats on convincing all of us to visit. See y'all (and your naked butts) at the beach!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Hot Italian Chef's chest hair and New Footman's butt. \u003c/strong>I'm usually annoyed when this show inundates us with new characters, but these newbies can stay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Xenadora. \u003c/strong>Validating drink-throwing by saying the wine sucks? Comedy gold. Looking at Lord Pam's crotch, while saying the word 'swell'? A boss move. How can you not appreciate this face-twitching weirdo?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Albert\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>I know. I'm just as surprised as you are that he's getting this prize two weeks in a row. But he keeps offering up great lines:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"He is a blaggard and he must be disciplined!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"HE DOESN'T READ!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>\"This boy's refusal to learn is... PREPOSTEROUS!\"\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Plus, he was pretty cool about having that drink thrown in his face. Cheers to him for deciding not to be insufferable this season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Queen spent so much time fighting with Lord Pam...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108529\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-mortal-kombat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"368\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...that she failed to notice her true battle was with the mob outside the palace strongly considering guillotine-ing her head off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108664\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/BB-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"319\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will Victoria's neck be saved? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the mob continues to ram the palace gates, Victoria is yowling up a storm, partly because how dare they and partly because a human being is trying to bust out of her body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora shuffles into the delivery room and snaps, \"Shhh! Screaming won't make it come any faster!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rude? Yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Iconic? Absolutely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hallway, Bertie is really worried his mother will die during childbirth. Victoria Jr. tells him not to worry about it 'cause, if she does, he will be king due to \"primogeniture.\" Um, thanks for the fun fact?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two things we now know about Vicky Jr.:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A. She's destined to ace her SAT verbal section.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B. She's kind of a sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/this-makes-me-feel-nothing-new-girl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's not concerned for Victoria's well-being: the deposed French king, Louis Philippe, who is downstairs boozing, gambling and joking about sex swings. I'm not up on my Emily Post, but I'm pretty sure that is not appropriate houseguest behavior if your host is in labor and also maybe about to get murdered by an angry mob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Louis Philippe is too tanked to care about propriety. Laissez les bons temps (et la tête de la reine) rouler! (And my parents said my French minor would never come in handy, ha!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Louis Philippe isn't acting up alone; his gambling partner is a new character who's basically a villain from a direct-to-DVD Disney movie. Disney Villain earns his bad reputation by constantly being hateful for no reason towards Disney Princess, a.ka. his wife and one of Victoria's new ladies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the theme of Season 3 is apparently stuffing at least three brand new characters we don't care about into every single scene, a new footman stands off to the side, gazing at Disney Princess in a way that suggests a star-crossed-lovers-who-can-never-be-together storyline that'll drag its butt over the next eight episodes. Hopefully, this couple has better luck than the Season 2 Gays. AND YES, I AM STILL VERY MUCH LIVID OVER HOW THAT TURNED OUT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to people we actually know. Albert announces the mob has magically dispersed. And the new baby is born without any complications. Hm, that was anticlimactic. That dramatic \"To be continued...\" cliffhanger from last week should have read, \"To be quickly resolved within a minute or two next week...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108668\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-expect-more-from-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, the royal children (well, the two old enough to have speaking roles) run in to greet their new sibling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vicky Jr. assumes the role of Simon Cowell on \u003cem>Britain's Got \u003cdel>Talent\u003c/del> Incest\u003c/em>: \"This one's quite pretty... for an infant. Better than the last one anyway.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which makes Bertie Paula Abdul, the not-all-there judge who mostly means well: \"I am glad you're not dead, mama.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How sweet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"534\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg 534w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 534px) 100vw, 534px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time for another bizarre moment, courtesy of the MVP of Season 3 so far, Xenadora! She busts in (boundaries are not really her thing) and campaigns for the baby to take her name (subtlety is also not really her thing). But no dice. Victoria announces that her daughter will be named after Albert's mother because projecting mommy abandonment issues onto a new generation feels like a healthy choice. Every muscle in Xenadora's face works to suppress the primal scream bubbling inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Chartist HQ, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is really hitting it off with her nine-fingered crush. But she's also disturbed by how he's stoking violence within the movement. Is he a mole? Or just pissed that someone shot off his finger?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108669\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/honestly-probably-both.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Lord Pam and Prime Minister Pushover invite Victoria to mobilize troops against the Chartists. Victoria RSVPs a hard no, based on her belief that the mob is only thirsty for Louis Philippe's blood, not hers. Someone sprayed on a bit too much of this perfume this morning:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108670\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/delusion-convince-yourself-jinkx.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Chartist HQ, cops storm the place, conveniently find a huge trove of rifles and arrest Nine Fingers for treason. Jo promptly beats the arresting officer. Girl, calm down. You just met him. Also, two plus two equals four, he totally planted the guns there to make y'all look bad! But as the rapper Eve says, \"Love is blind and it'll take over your mind.\" It doesn't help that, as he's being carted off, Nine Fingers says, \"Believe me when I say I never expected to meet a woman like you.\" Mmhm, sure, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108671\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lies-kathy-bates.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Hot Italian Chef has some exciting news for Babyface Maid! He bought the inn! And secured a marriage license too! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or nay? Babyface Maid is annoyed he didn't ask her first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bubble: burst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Celebratory balloon: popped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108774\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/balloon-pop-skerett-francatelli.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"288\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef doesn't want to hear the tired \"But the Queen needs me!\" excuse again so he goes ahead and sets the date. The wedding chapel, tomorrow at 3 o'clock: be there or be square (and single). Babyface Maid nobs in a s\u003cem>ure-unless-I-decide-to-wash-my-hair-around-then\u003c/em> kinda way. Are we about to have a runaway bride on our hands?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108673\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/runaway-bride-julia-roberts.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria hears about all the guns found at the Chartist HQ and decides, \u003cem>Ok, fine, shoot them in the street.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Louis Philippe is still lazing about the palace, overstaying his welcome and breaking even more Emily Post rules. This time, he sits Vicky Jr. and Bertie down for an extremely graphic lesson on the evolution of chopping off royal heads, from the blunt ax to the guillotine. The kids do not appreciate this Story Time session.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108675\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/scared-kids-santa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert finds out, he stomps up to Louis Philippe and delivers a line I will be using on all my enemies from now on: \"YOUR PRESENCE HERE IS A PROVOCATION!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108718\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-out-of-my-face-jonathan-van-ness-queer-eye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"198\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Victoria grumbles about no longer being popular with the public: \"I want them to love me! Otherwise, what is the point?!\" That's exactly what I say when I get under 100 likes on an Instagram photo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108719\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nene-sad-phone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, there's a traffic jam due to a random dead horse lying in the street (#19thCenturyProblems), so the carriage holding Disney Princess is forced to stop. That's when a bunch of random dudes come out of nowhere and start banging on the windows and rocking the carriage back and forth. Scary stuff, but may I just say that this particular extra really put his back into the role and deserves a raise:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rioter-spit-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when it looks like they're going to smash the spit-covered carriage window, Lord Pam trots up and asks them to chill. The mob magically disperses without so much as a top hat knocked off because this episode's theme is anticlimax.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108720\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/anticlimactic.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam then does what any knight in shining armor should: immediately passes the damsel in distress a huge crystal flask full of booze. Permission to cheat on your mean husband: granted!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria and Xenadora tire of being passive and finally get aggressive. It goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You left when I was young and didn't even come to my wedding!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I didn't have money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You could have begged me for some!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>As if!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I don't expect you to understand. You've never been in my position!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>YoU'vE nEvEr BeEn In My PoSiTiOn!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108721\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"680\" height=\"440\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob.jpeg 680w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-160x104.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-240x155.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-375x243.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-520x336.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 680px) 100vw, 680px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria storms out, but I barely notice because Xenadora's facial muscles are doing weird things again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria and Xenadora make up two scenes later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108720\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/anticlimactic.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Louis Philippe finds Victoria and says, \u003cem>Hey, sorry about getting tanked during your labor and telling your kids about how decapitated heads are picked up from their hair. Please forward my mail to the roach motel down the block. \u003c/em>But Victoria won't hear of it and grants him one of her country homes. Moral of the story: Scar your friend's children for life, get a free house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108726\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/count-me-in.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"380\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In light of the rifle bust and all the mob action going on, Albert convinces Victoria to seek safety at another one of their palaces on the Isle of Wight. Disney Princess has to rush home to get ready but needs someone to accompany her so no one spits all over her window again. If only there was a hunk standing around who could help. Oh, would you look at that? New Footman is conveniently two feet away! I smell a love triangle brewing! Hopefully, it brings the sparks like the one in \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108780\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/felicity-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"739\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Believing that Nine Fingers is innocent, Jo visits the police station to campaign for his release. But he's already out! Cause he's a cop! Who's now acting as though he's never seen her in his life! Youch! Jo is going to need a lot of aloe to ease the sting of this burn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108728\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/hes-been-playing-you-like-a-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The clock strikes three at the wedding chapel. And Babyface Maid is nowhere to be found...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108764\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-interesting-sad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...until she comes running in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm going to ignore the line in Babyface Maid's vows about obeying Hot Italian Chef, and focus on the line in Hot Italian Chef's vows about worshiping her with his body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108766\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-wink.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"229\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which they don't waste any time getting to, if this five-second scene is any indication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oo-la-la-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"362\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid's hair is down, which means Hot Italian Chef's case of blue balls is about to be cured! Halleloo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108765\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-soggy-bottom.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Jo pops up and frantically shares the news of Nine Fingers not being that into her and being way more into framing the Chartist movement. Victoria believes Jo's story because why would a noted actress from a beloved 1980s sitcom lie? Albert must have not have been a fan of the show though because he thinks Jo's theory is outlandish and ridiculous. A government using nefarious means to suppress the people? Who's ever heard of such a thing?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108756\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/no-way-kirsten-wiig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite all evidence pointing to a set-up, Albert convinces Victoria to just forget about it and instead worry about what in-carriage entertainment they'll enjoy on their way to their new palace. But before they're even out of their zip code, Victoria has a panic attack and forces the motorcade to stop. She jumps out and announces that she has had a change of heart: \u003cem>Hey, y'all! That whole shooting unarmed protesters in the street? Let's not do it! K thanks!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone shrugs and carries on, except for Lord Pam, the architect of the strategy to plant rifles: \"How the devil did she find out?\" Answer: Her name is Jo and she's not here for your crap!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a bridge, guards load and aim their guns at the protesters. Will they get the message that Victoria has changed her mind in time?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course they will because nothing really happens on this show (except for procreation). The protesters safely submit their little petition and quietly go home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on the Isle of Wight, everyone has heart eyes for their new digs. But Victoria is seeing red over being forced to flee her own people over a whole lot of nothing. Albert eases her anger by unveiling a kinky painting of Hercules, who's been tied up by a queen and made to do whatever she desires. He explains that he's Hercules in this situation (Ha! Keep dreaming!) and that he intends to look at it and think of her while he bathes. Cool story, bro, but keep your masturbation plans to yourself next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Xenadora gets an eyeful of Albert's bath time porn and shudders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108635\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/shudder-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"315\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*runs over to Chartist HQ to draw up a petition for this woman to win a Golden Globe for all her weird twitching*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Nine Fingers. \u003c/strong>He's already missing a finger and he's about to be missing another body part if he doesn't leave Jo alone! #LorenaBobbittThePrequel\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Jo. \u003c/strong>The best way to get over a breakup is to single-handedly save a movement. Who runs the world? Girls (who look like forgotten '80s stars)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid. \u003c/strong>Congrats to them for finally getting some! But be warned: I will rescind this award if it turns out they failed to use protection. I can't take any more pregnancies right now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Xenadora\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Patron saint of creepy weirdos everywhere. Bow down (while face-twitching)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Albert. \u003c/strong>He usually bugs me, but I am happy to admit that his catchphrase \"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\" is my new favorite succession of words. It's the kind of thing you say to someone before slapping their face with an unworn glove. Don't be surprised when I'm cast on a \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> show and use it as my intro tagline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This episode has it all: a wedding, a birth and a very naughty painting.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Queen spent so much time fighting with Lord Pam...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108529\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-mortal-kombat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"368\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...that she failed to notice her true battle was with the mob outside the palace strongly considering guillotine-ing her head off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108664\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/BB-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"319\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will Victoria's neck be saved? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the mob continues to ram the palace gates, Victoria is yowling up a storm, partly because how dare they and partly because a human being is trying to bust out of her body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora shuffles into the delivery room and snaps, \"Shhh! Screaming won't make it come any faster!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rude? Yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Iconic? Absolutely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hallway, Bertie is really worried his mother will die during childbirth. Victoria Jr. tells him not to worry about it 'cause, if she does, he will be king due to \"primogeniture.\" Um, thanks for the fun fact?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two things we now know about Vicky Jr.:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A. She's destined to ace her SAT verbal section.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>B. She's kind of a sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/this-makes-me-feel-nothing-new-girl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's not concerned for Victoria's well-being: the deposed French king, Louis Philippe, who is downstairs boozing, gambling and joking about sex swings. I'm not up on my Emily Post, but I'm pretty sure that is not appropriate houseguest behavior if your host is in labor and also maybe about to get murdered by an angry mob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Louis Philippe is too tanked to care about propriety. Laissez les bons temps (et la tête de la reine) rouler! (And my parents said my French minor would never come in handy, ha!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Louis Philippe isn't acting up alone; his gambling partner is a new character who's basically a villain from a direct-to-DVD Disney movie. Disney Villain earns his bad reputation by constantly being hateful for no reason towards Disney Princess, a.ka. his wife and one of Victoria's new ladies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the theme of Season 3 is apparently stuffing at least three brand new characters we don't care about into every single scene, a new footman stands off to the side, gazing at Disney Princess in a way that suggests a star-crossed-lovers-who-can-never-be-together storyline that'll drag its butt over the next eight episodes. Hopefully, this couple has better luck than the Season 2 Gays. AND YES, I AM STILL VERY MUCH LIVID OVER HOW THAT TURNED OUT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to people we actually know. Albert announces the mob has magically dispersed. And the new baby is born without any complications. Hm, that was anticlimactic. That dramatic \"To be continued...\" cliffhanger from last week should have read, \"To be quickly resolved within a minute or two next week...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108668\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-expect-more-from-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, the royal children (well, the two old enough to have speaking roles) run in to greet their new sibling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vicky Jr. assumes the role of Simon Cowell on \u003cem>Britain's Got \u003cdel>Talent\u003c/del> Incest\u003c/em>: \"This one's quite pretty... for an infant. Better than the last one anyway.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which makes Bertie Paula Abdul, the not-all-there judge who mostly means well: \"I am glad you're not dead, mama.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How sweet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"534\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg 534w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 534px) 100vw, 534px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time for another bizarre moment, courtesy of the MVP of Season 3 so far, Xenadora! She busts in (boundaries are not really her thing) and campaigns for the baby to take her name (subtlety is also not really her thing). But no dice. Victoria announces that her daughter will be named after Albert's mother because projecting mommy abandonment issues onto a new generation feels like a healthy choice. Every muscle in Xenadora's face works to suppress the primal scream bubbling inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Chartist HQ, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is really hitting it off with her nine-fingered crush. But she's also disturbed by how he's stoking violence within the movement. Is he a mole? Or just pissed that someone shot off his finger?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108669\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/honestly-probably-both.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Lord Pam and Prime Minister Pushover invite Victoria to mobilize troops against the Chartists. Victoria RSVPs a hard no, based on her belief that the mob is only thirsty for Louis Philippe's blood, not hers. Someone sprayed on a bit too much of this perfume this morning:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108670\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/delusion-convince-yourself-jinkx.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Chartist HQ, cops storm the place, conveniently find a huge trove of rifles and arrest Nine Fingers for treason. Jo promptly beats the arresting officer. Girl, calm down. You just met him. Also, two plus two equals four, he totally planted the guns there to make y'all look bad! But as the rapper Eve says, \"Love is blind and it'll take over your mind.\" It doesn't help that, as he's being carted off, Nine Fingers says, \"Believe me when I say I never expected to meet a woman like you.\" Mmhm, sure, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108671\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lies-kathy-bates.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Hot Italian Chef has some exciting news for Babyface Maid! He bought the inn! And secured a marriage license too! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or nay? Babyface Maid is annoyed he didn't ask her first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bubble: burst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Celebratory balloon: popped.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108774\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/balloon-pop-skerett-francatelli.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"288\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hot Italian Chef doesn't want to hear the tired \"But the Queen needs me!\" excuse again so he goes ahead and sets the date. The wedding chapel, tomorrow at 3 o'clock: be there or be square (and single). Babyface Maid nobs in a s\u003cem>ure-unless-I-decide-to-wash-my-hair-around-then\u003c/em> kinda way. Are we about to have a runaway bride on our hands?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108673\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/runaway-bride-julia-roberts.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Victoria hears about all the guns found at the Chartist HQ and decides, \u003cem>Ok, fine, shoot them in the street.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Louis Philippe is still lazing about the palace, overstaying his welcome and breaking even more Emily Post rules. This time, he sits Vicky Jr. and Bertie down for an extremely graphic lesson on the evolution of chopping off royal heads, from the blunt ax to the guillotine. The kids do not appreciate this Story Time session.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108675\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/scared-kids-santa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert finds out, he stomps up to Louis Philippe and delivers a line I will be using on all my enemies from now on: \"YOUR PRESENCE HERE IS A PROVOCATION!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108718\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/get-out-of-my-face-jonathan-van-ness-queer-eye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"198\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Victoria grumbles about no longer being popular with the public: \"I want them to love me! Otherwise, what is the point?!\" That's exactly what I say when I get under 100 likes on an Instagram photo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108719\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nene-sad-phone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, there's a traffic jam due to a random dead horse lying in the street (#19thCenturyProblems), so the carriage holding Disney Princess is forced to stop. That's when a bunch of random dudes come out of nowhere and start banging on the windows and rocking the carriage back and forth. Scary stuff, but may I just say that this particular extra really put his back into the role and deserves a raise:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rioter-spit-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when it looks like they're going to smash the spit-covered carriage window, Lord Pam trots up and asks them to chill. The mob magically disperses without so much as a top hat knocked off because this episode's theme is anticlimax.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108720\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/anticlimactic.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam then does what any knight in shining armor should: immediately passes the damsel in distress a huge crystal flask full of booze. Permission to cheat on your mean husband: granted!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria and Xenadora tire of being passive and finally get aggressive. It goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You left when I was young and didn't even come to my wedding!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I didn't have money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>You could have begged me for some!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>As if!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I don't expect you to understand. You've never been in my position!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>YoU'vE nEvEr BeEn In My PoSiTiOn!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108721\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"680\" height=\"440\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob.jpeg 680w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-160x104.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-240x155.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-375x243.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spongebob-520x336.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 680px) 100vw, 680px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria storms out, but I barely notice because Xenadora's facial muscles are doing weird things again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/xenadora-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria and Xenadora make up two scenes later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108720\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/anticlimactic.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Louis Philippe finds Victoria and says, \u003cem>Hey, sorry about getting tanked during your labor and telling your kids about how decapitated heads are picked up from their hair. Please forward my mail to the roach motel down the block. \u003c/em>But Victoria won't hear of it and grants him one of her country homes. Moral of the story: Scar your friend's children for life, get a free house.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108726\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/count-me-in.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"380\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In light of the rifle bust and all the mob action going on, Albert convinces Victoria to seek safety at another one of their palaces on the Isle of Wight. Disney Princess has to rush home to get ready but needs someone to accompany her so no one spits all over her window again. If only there was a hunk standing around who could help. Oh, would you look at that? New Footman is conveniently two feet away! I smell a love triangle brewing! Hopefully, it brings the sparks like the one in \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108780\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/felicity-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"739\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Believing that Nine Fingers is innocent, Jo visits the police station to campaign for his release. But he's already out! Cause he's a cop! Who's now acting as though he's never seen her in his life! Youch! Jo is going to need a lot of aloe to ease the sting of this burn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108728\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/hes-been-playing-you-like-a-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The clock strikes three at the wedding chapel. And Babyface Maid is nowhere to be found...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108764\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-interesting-sad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...until she comes running in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm going to ignore the line in Babyface Maid's vows about obeying Hot Italian Chef, and focus on the line in Hot Italian Chef's vows about worshiping her with his body.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108766\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-wink.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"229\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which they don't waste any time getting to, if this five-second scene is any indication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oo-la-la-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"362\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Babyface Maid's hair is down, which means Hot Italian Chef's case of blue balls is about to be cured! Halleloo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108765\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/mary-berry-soggy-bottom.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Jo pops up and frantically shares the news of Nine Fingers not being that into her and being way more into framing the Chartist movement. Victoria believes Jo's story because why would a noted actress from a beloved 1980s sitcom lie? Albert must have not have been a fan of the show though because he thinks Jo's theory is outlandish and ridiculous. A government using nefarious means to suppress the people? Who's ever heard of such a thing?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108756\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/no-way-kirsten-wiig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite all evidence pointing to a set-up, Albert convinces Victoria to just forget about it and instead worry about what in-carriage entertainment they'll enjoy on their way to their new palace. But before they're even out of their zip code, Victoria has a panic attack and forces the motorcade to stop. She jumps out and announces that she has had a change of heart: \u003cem>Hey, y'all! That whole shooting unarmed protesters in the street? Let's not do it! K thanks!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone shrugs and carries on, except for Lord Pam, the architect of the strategy to plant rifles: \"How the devil did she find out?\" Answer: Her name is Jo and she's not here for your crap!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a bridge, guards load and aim their guns at the protesters. Will they get the message that Victoria has changed her mind in time?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course they will because nothing really happens on this show (except for procreation). The protesters safely submit their little petition and quietly go home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on the Isle of Wight, everyone has heart eyes for their new digs. But Victoria is seeing red over being forced to flee her own people over a whole lot of nothing. Albert eases her anger by unveiling a kinky painting of Hercules, who's been tied up by a queen and made to do whatever she desires. He explains that he's Hercules in this situation (Ha! Keep dreaming!) and that he intends to look at it and think of her while he bathes. Cool story, bro, but keep your masturbation plans to yourself next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Xenadora gets an eyeful of Albert's bath time porn and shudders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108635\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/shudder-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"315\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*runs over to Chartist HQ to draw up a petition for this woman to win a Golden Globe for all her weird twitching*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Nine Fingers. \u003c/strong>He's already missing a finger and he's about to be missing another body part if he doesn't leave Jo alone! #LorenaBobbittThePrequel\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Jo. \u003c/strong>The best way to get over a breakup is to single-handedly save a movement. Who runs the world? Girls (who look like forgotten '80s stars)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Hot Italian Chef and Babyface Maid. \u003c/strong>Congrats to them for finally getting some! But be warned: I will rescind this award if it turns out they failed to use protection. I can't take any more pregnancies right now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Xenadora\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Patron saint of creepy weirdos everywhere. Bow down (while face-twitching)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Albert. \u003c/strong>He usually bugs me, but I am happy to admit that his catchphrase \"YOUR PRESENCE IS A PROVOCATION!\" is my new favorite succession of words. It's the kind of thing you say to someone before slapping their face with an unworn glove. Don't be surprised when I'm cast on a \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> show and use it as my intro tagline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Fighting 'Fyre' With 'Fyre Fraud': Two Documentaries About the Same Disaster",
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"content": "\u003cp>Fyre Festival just keeps delivering drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the months leading up to April 2017, Fyre Festival was promoted as a glamorous music festival that would be filled with Instagram models and other beautiful people, held on a secluded island with everyone in luxury beach accommodations and private villas. When guests actually arrived in the Bahamas, they found a lot of gravel, unfinished FEMA tents, mattresses they had to drag around themselves, and bands that had already canceled. \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/28/526019457/paradise-lost-luxury-music-festival-turns-out-to-be-half-built-scene-of-chaos\">It was an unmitigated disaster\u003c/a>. Eventually, organizer Billy McFarland \u003ca href=\"https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fyre-festival-organizer-billy-mcfarland-sentenced-6-years-fraud-charges-n919086\">was sentenced to six years in prison\u003c/a> for fraud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Netflix has had a documentary called \u003cem>Fyre \u003c/em>scheduled for release today (Friday, January 18) for quite a while. Directed by Chris Smith, the film promised to go inside the story of the festival and the organizers and how everything went so wrong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8lNWj5Atu0\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then on Monday, like a surprise Beyoncé album, an entirely different Fyre Festival documentary dropped on the competing streaming service Hulu. Called \u003cem>Fyre Fraud\u003c/em>, it too went inside the festival organization and the forces that led to such a massive rip-off of so many would-be concertgoers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljkaq_he-BU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there were two things about \u003cem>Fyre Fraud\u003c/em> likely to be of interest to those who were waiting for Smith's documentary to arrive on Netflix. One: The Hulu documentary, unlike the upcoming Netflix one, had an on-camera interview with Billy McFarland. Two: The Hulu documentary included a note at the end revealing that the other documentary floating around about Fyre Festival—that is, the Netflix one—had among its producers Jerry Media, the company that did the Fyre Festival's social media promotion and made its now notorious promotional video. Representatives of Jerry are interviewed extensively in the Netflix doc, in which they discuss things like their role in deleting comments that cast doubt on the competence of the festival's organizers. (I watched the whole thing and had no idea they were also producers.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, as Scott Tobias \u003ca href=\"https://www.theringer.com/movies/2019/1/15/18183308/fyre-festival-documentary-netflix-hulu-billy-mcfarland-pay\">discussed in his fine piece at \u003cem>The Ringer\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Hulu didn't escape ethical scrutiny, either, because that interview with McFarland? They paid him for it, as well as for some footage he allowed them to use, though they won't say how much. Chris Smith (who, you'll recall, made the Netflix doc) says he wasn't willing to pay McFarland for an interview, because he didn't think McFarland should benefit from his own misdeeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to review: Two competing documentaries, both of which were made with at least one breach of normal journalistic practice. Paying for interviews, generally, is Not Done. Likewise, having the subject of a piece participate as a producer is Not Done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, perhaps what's most surprising is that the films are more similar than they are different. Both hit similar story beats: the Instagram marketing, the early signs of trouble, McFarland's earlier \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/19/fashion/Black-Card-Magnises.html\">successful-but-weird\u003c/a> business making a metal credit card for millennials that was like a superhero suit for their regular credit card. The lack of infrastructure necessary to support the festival. The straight-up lying (concealing, for instance, that far from being deserted, the Fyre location was adjacent to a Sandals resort, \u003cem>oh how basic\u003c/em>). And then: the arrival of charter flights, the horrified visitors, the \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/trev4president/status/857776562615308288?lang=en\">sad cheese sandwiches\u003c/a> seen round the world on Instagram, and a coda about what McFarland did after he was arrested that is shocking even when you see it documented for the second time in a week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/trev4president/status/857776562615308288?lang=en\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are strengths and weaknesses in both: Hulu's tries harder to wrap its head around why this was the form that gullibility took for these particular festivalgoers—how Instagram and an \"experience\" economy made them vulnerable to empty promises about glamor. Netflix's tries harder to grapple with the consequences for the local businesses in the Bahamas, including, for instance, a vendor who says she went unpaid and lost a large amount of money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you love a story of absolute, no-holds-barred, extravagant disaster, you'll probably want to watch both. But if you just want a better idea of what the heck happened here, the truth is that either film will serve. Just know that—perhaps appropriately, given the subject matter—neither was made in the squeaky-clean manner we all might wish for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Fighting+%27Fyre%27+With+%27Fyre+Fraud%27%3A+Two+Documentaries+About+The+Same+Disaster&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Fyre Festival just keeps delivering drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the months leading up to April 2017, Fyre Festival was promoted as a glamorous music festival that would be filled with Instagram models and other beautiful people, held on a secluded island with everyone in luxury beach accommodations and private villas. When guests actually arrived in the Bahamas, they found a lot of gravel, unfinished FEMA tents, mattresses they had to drag around themselves, and bands that had already canceled. \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/28/526019457/paradise-lost-luxury-music-festival-turns-out-to-be-half-built-scene-of-chaos\">It was an unmitigated disaster\u003c/a>. Eventually, organizer Billy McFarland \u003ca href=\"https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/fyre-festival-organizer-billy-mcfarland-sentenced-6-years-fraud-charges-n919086\">was sentenced to six years in prison\u003c/a> for fraud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Netflix has had a documentary called \u003cem>Fyre \u003c/em>scheduled for release today (Friday, January 18) for quite a while. Directed by Chris Smith, the film promised to go inside the story of the festival and the organizers and how everything went so wrong.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/j8lNWj5Atu0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/j8lNWj5Atu0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Then on Monday, like a surprise Beyoncé album, an entirely different Fyre Festival documentary dropped on the competing streaming service Hulu. Called \u003cem>Fyre Fraud\u003c/em>, it too went inside the festival organization and the forces that led to such a massive rip-off of so many would-be concertgoers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>There are strengths and weaknesses in both: Hulu's tries harder to wrap its head around why this was the form that gullibility took for these particular festivalgoers—how Instagram and an \"experience\" economy made them vulnerable to empty promises about glamor. Netflix's tries harder to grapple with the consequences for the local businesses in the Bahamas, including, for instance, a vendor who says she went unpaid and lost a large amount of money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you love a story of absolute, no-holds-barred, extravagant disaster, you'll probably want to watch both. But if you just want a better idea of what the heck happened here, the truth is that either film will serve. Just know that—perhaps appropriately, given the subject matter—neither was made in the squeaky-clean manner we all might wish for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Fighting+%27Fyre%27+With+%27Fyre+Fraud%27%3A+Two+Documentaries+About+The+Same+Disaster&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>It's been a trope for half a century: the damaged soldier returns home from war, depressed, confused and probably dangerous. There are the unhinged, Russian roulette-playing Vietnam vets of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077416/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Deer Hunter\u003c/a>.\u003c/em> The feral ex-Green Beret in survival mode, in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083944/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>First Blood\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. The broken, drug-dependent marines of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096969/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Born on the Fourth of July\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>The brainwashed assassins of \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368008/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Manchurian Candidate\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478134/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">In the Valley of Elah\u003c/a>'s \u003c/em>PTSD-addled soldiers kill one of their own. \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887912/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Hurt Locker\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s danger-addicted Sergeant who can no longer live a civilian life. In \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112819/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Dead Presidents\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Vietnam vets are thieves, addicts and murderers. And \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2179136/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Sniper\u003c/a> \u003c/em>is about Chris Kyle, a Navy SEAL who was ultimately \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Kyle\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">murdered by a fellow vet\u003c/a> suffering from PTSD.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Television isn't always so heavy-handed—\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1442437/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s lovable patriarch Jay Pritchett served in the Navy; Geena in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8595140/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Conners\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is a stable mom who fought in Afghanistan; in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>This Is Us,\u003c/em>\u003c/a> Vietnam vet, Jack Pearson, is a great dad—but problems persist. HBO's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5348176/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Barry\u003c/em> \u003c/a>is based entirely on the premise that Marines come home unable to do anything but kill. In Netflix's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7493974/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Bodyguard\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, one villain is a bitter former soldier hellbent on assassinating a politician. Even the hero of the piece—David Budd, an Afghanistan vet—has a wife who considers him too dangerous to live with. When Budd's lover wakes him unexpectedly one night, he launches straight for her throat, apparently overcome by killer instinct.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you look at on-screen depictions of former service people, one could easily conclude that more come home with mental health problems than not. It's no wonder then that, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://www.militarytimes.com/veterans/2016/07/25/americans-think-more-than-half-of-vets-have-mental-problems-survey-says/?_sm_au_=iVV0FV4ktQ8j64j5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2016 survey\u003c/a>, 40 percent of adults in the U.S., U.K. and Canada \"believe more than half the 2.8 million veterans who have served since 2001, have a mental health condition,\" even though \"the actual figure lies somewhere between 10 percent and 20 percent.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marine veteran, Renee Pickup, served for six years, and her husband remains on active duty. She worries about the ways negative fictional portrayals of the military might impact her family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Most of what we see in pop culture either puts vets on a pedestal so high it's dehumanizing,\" Pickup says, \"or it's about how damaged and dangerous everyone is. Even really well-written stuff plays into this. I adore \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119229/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Grosse Pointe Blank\u003c/em>\u003c/a> as a piece of entertainment, but [John Cusack's character] couldn’t just join the military and figure himself out. He joined the military and now he’s a hitman. \u003cem>Barry\u003c/em> is another one. His only being good at killing should be presented as related to his own personal moral flexibility, not chalked up to his military experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These [representations] serve as a divide between us and our civilian counterparts,\" Pickup explains. \"They make people wary of us, which makes getting help harder. And they make employers scared of us. If we're all 'only good at killing,' how do I explain to a potential employer that I have fantastic management and administrative experience?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2014, military and veteran affairs magazine \u003ca href=\"https://taskandpurpose.com/portraying-the-military-in-film-and-on-television-whos-telling-our-stories/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Task and Purpose\u003c/em> pointed out\u003c/a> an additional problem with television depictions. \"Where are the female soldiers, especially the female junior officers?\" it asked. \"Where are the service members who return from a combat zone stronger than when they left? Where are the stories told by actual veterans? ... There are not enough veterans involved in the story-making surrounding our own narratives.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pickup agrees. \"We don’t often see representations of women vets, or LGBTQ vets, or veterans of color. Which means that women, LGBTQ, vets of color, and vets that aren’t Christian have a hard time getting their service recognized. I really believe this is, in part, due to the cultural reinforcement that the military is made up of straight, white men.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the first half of the 20th century, the way soldiers and veterans were presented in movies was narrow, but in an entirely different way. There were a multitude of movies about war—the battles, the raids and the heroism involved—and almost nothing about what happened once the soldiers got home. 1946's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036868/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Best Years of Our Lives\u003c/em>\u003c/a> offered an impressively early exception to that rule, but it was 1978's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077362/?ref_=nv_sr_2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Coming Home\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that really changed how war stories were told on the big screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vietnam was famously the most documented war in history. And once the moral and emotional complexities of that war became clear to the American public, once the draft made unwilling soldiers of a generation of young men, it became almost impossible for Hollywood to simply make straight-forward war hero stories anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"In pointing out that war hurts people—because of course it does—and in trying to be compassionate to vets who subsequently have problems,\" Pickup says, \"[Hollywood] accidentally feeds narratives that hurt people further. Of course, there are issues with reintegration and mental health, but they don’t express themselves quite like popular culture suggests, and certainly not at the same percentage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it first started, the shift in movies away from flag-waving heroism towards more realistic portrayals of war's aftermath was both important and much-needed, especially during the post-Vietnam healing process. But, over time, that narrative has taken on a life of its own, one that doesn't reflect most veterans' realities at all. What started as a desire to reflect the harshest consequences service members face when they come home has ultimately become an erasure of the people who have served, survived and thrived. It's time to start telling their stories too.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It's been a trope for half a century: the damaged soldier returns home from war, depressed, confused and probably dangerous. There are the unhinged, Russian roulette-playing Vietnam vets of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077416/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Deer Hunter\u003c/a>.\u003c/em> The feral ex-Green Beret in survival mode, in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083944/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>First Blood\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. The broken, drug-dependent marines of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096969/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Born on the Fourth of July\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>The brainwashed assassins of \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368008/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Manchurian Candidate\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478134/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">In the Valley of Elah\u003c/a>'s \u003c/em>PTSD-addled soldiers kill one of their own. \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0887912/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Hurt Locker\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s danger-addicted Sergeant who can no longer live a civilian life. In \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112819/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Dead Presidents\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the Vietnam vets are thieves, addicts and murderers. And \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2179136/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">American Sniper\u003c/a> \u003c/em>is about Chris Kyle, a Navy SEAL who was ultimately \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Kyle\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">murdered by a fellow vet\u003c/a> suffering from PTSD.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Television isn't always so heavy-handed—\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1442437/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s lovable patriarch Jay Pritchett served in the Navy; Geena in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8595140/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Conners\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is a stable mom who fought in Afghanistan; in \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>This Is Us,\u003c/em>\u003c/a> Vietnam vet, Jack Pearson, is a great dad—but problems persist. HBO's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5348176/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Barry\u003c/em> \u003c/a>is based entirely on the premise that Marines come home unable to do anything but kill. In Netflix's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7493974/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Bodyguard\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, one villain is a bitter former soldier hellbent on assassinating a politician. Even the hero of the piece—David Budd, an Afghanistan vet—has a wife who considers him too dangerous to live with. When Budd's lover wakes him unexpectedly one night, he launches straight for her throat, apparently overcome by killer instinct.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you look at on-screen depictions of former service people, one could easily conclude that more come home with mental health problems than not. It's no wonder then that, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://www.militarytimes.com/veterans/2016/07/25/americans-think-more-than-half-of-vets-have-mental-problems-survey-says/?_sm_au_=iVV0FV4ktQ8j64j5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">2016 survey\u003c/a>, 40 percent of adults in the U.S., U.K. and Canada \"believe more than half the 2.8 million veterans who have served since 2001, have a mental health condition,\" even though \"the actual figure lies somewhere between 10 percent and 20 percent.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marine veteran, Renee Pickup, served for six years, and her husband remains on active duty. She worries about the ways negative fictional portrayals of the military might impact her family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Most of what we see in pop culture either puts vets on a pedestal so high it's dehumanizing,\" Pickup says, \"or it's about how damaged and dangerous everyone is. Even really well-written stuff plays into this. I adore \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119229/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Grosse Pointe Blank\u003c/em>\u003c/a> as a piece of entertainment, but [John Cusack's character] couldn’t just join the military and figure himself out. He joined the military and now he’s a hitman. \u003cem>Barry\u003c/em> is another one. His only being good at killing should be presented as related to his own personal moral flexibility, not chalked up to his military experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These [representations] serve as a divide between us and our civilian counterparts,\" Pickup explains. \"They make people wary of us, which makes getting help harder. And they make employers scared of us. If we're all 'only good at killing,' how do I explain to a potential employer that I have fantastic management and administrative experience?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2014, military and veteran affairs magazine \u003ca href=\"https://taskandpurpose.com/portraying-the-military-in-film-and-on-television-whos-telling-our-stories/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Task and Purpose\u003c/em> pointed out\u003c/a> an additional problem with television depictions. \"Where are the female soldiers, especially the female junior officers?\" it asked. \"Where are the service members who return from a combat zone stronger than when they left? Where are the stories told by actual veterans? ... There are not enough veterans involved in the story-making surrounding our own narratives.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pickup agrees. \"We don’t often see representations of women vets, or LGBTQ vets, or veterans of color. Which means that women, LGBTQ, vets of color, and vets that aren’t Christian have a hard time getting their service recognized. I really believe this is, in part, due to the cultural reinforcement that the military is made up of straight, white men.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the first half of the 20th century, the way soldiers and veterans were presented in movies was narrow, but in an entirely different way. There were a multitude of movies about war—the battles, the raids and the heroism involved—and almost nothing about what happened once the soldiers got home. 1946's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036868/?ref_=nv_sr_1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>The Best Years of Our Lives\u003c/em>\u003c/a> offered an impressively early exception to that rule, but it was 1978's \u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077362/?ref_=nv_sr_2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u003cem>Coming Home\u003c/em>\u003c/a> that really changed how war stories were told on the big screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vietnam was famously the most documented war in history. And once the moral and emotional complexities of that war became clear to the American public, once the draft made unwilling soldiers of a generation of young men, it became almost impossible for Hollywood to simply make straight-forward war hero stories anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"In pointing out that war hurts people—because of course it does—and in trying to be compassionate to vets who subsequently have problems,\" Pickup says, \"[Hollywood] accidentally feeds narratives that hurt people further. Of course, there are issues with reintegration and mental health, but they don’t express themselves quite like popular culture suggests, and certainly not at the same percentage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it first started, the shift in movies away from flag-waving heroism towards more realistic portrayals of war's aftermath was both important and much-needed, especially during the post-Vietnam healing process. But, over time, that narrative has taken on a life of its own, one that doesn't reflect most veterans' realities at all. What started as a desire to reflect the harshest consequences service members face when they come home has ultimately become an erasure of the people who have served, survived and thrived. It's time to start telling their stories too.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "The California Report",
"tagline": "California, day by day",
"info": "KQED’s statewide radio news program providing daily coverage of issues, trends and public policy decisions.",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/californiareport",
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"order": 8
},
"link": "/californiareport",
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},
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"id": "californiareportmagazine",
"title": "The California Report Magazine",
"tagline": "Your state, your stories",
"info": "Every week, The California Report Magazine takes you on a road trip for the ears: to visit the places and meet the people who make California unique. The in-depth storytelling podcast from the California Report.",
"airtime": "FRI 4:30pm-5pm, 6:30pm-7pm, 11pm-11:30pm",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/californiareportmagazine",
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"order": 10
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM3NjkwNjk1OTAz",
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},
"city-arts": {
"id": "city-arts",
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"info": "A one-hour radio program to hear celebrated writers, artists and thinkers address contemporary ideas and values, often discussing the creative process. Please note: tapes or transcripts are not available",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/05/cityartsandlecture-300x300.jpg",
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"airtime": "SUN 1pm-2pm, TUE 10pm, WED 1am",
"meta": {
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"source": "City Arts & Lectures"
},
"link": "https://www.cityarts.net",
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"rss": "https://www.cityarts.net/feed/"
}
},
"closealltabs": {
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"order": 1
},
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"title": "Code Switch / Life Kit",
"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"meta": {
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
"airtime": "THU 10pm, FRI 1am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"meta": {
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
"link": "/radio/program/commonwealth-club",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw",
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"id": "forum",
"title": "Forum",
"tagline": "The conversation starts here",
"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 9
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz",
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"id": "freakonomics-radio",
"title": "Freakonomics Radio",
"info": "Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. It is produced in partnership with WNYC.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/freakonomicsRadio.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://freakonomics.com/",
"airtime": "SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm",
"meta": {
"site": "radio",
"source": "WNYC"
},
"link": "/radio/program/freakonomics-radio",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/freakonomics-radio/id354668519",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/",
"rss": "https://feeds.feedburner.com/freakonomicsradio"
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},
"fresh-air": {
"id": "fresh-air",
"title": "Fresh Air",
"info": "Hosted by Terry Gross, \u003cem>Fresh Air from WHYY\u003c/em> is the Peabody Award-winning weekday magazine of contemporary arts and issues. One of public radio's most popular programs, Fresh Air features intimate conversations with today's biggest luminaries.",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"info": "A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. Hosted by Robin Young, Jeremy Hobson and Tonya Mosley.",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510051/podcast.xml"
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},
"hidden-brain": {
"id": "hidden-brain",
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"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "NPR"
},
"link": "/radio/program/hidden-brain",
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},
"how-i-built-this": {
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"title": "How I Built This with Guy Raz",
"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/howIBuiltThis.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510313/how-i-built-this",
"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "npr"
},
"link": "/radio/program/how-i-built-this",
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"npr": "https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/3zxy",
"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-i-built-this-with-guy-raz/id1150510297?mt=2",
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},
"hyphenacion": {
"id": "hyphenacion",
"title": "Hyphenación",
"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Hyphenacion_FinalAssets_PodcastTile.png",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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"order": 15
},
"link": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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},
"jerrybrown": {
"id": "jerrybrown",
"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-Political-Mind-of-Jerry-Brown-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
"meta": {
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"order": 18
},
"link": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
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}
},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
}
},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
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"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
"id": "masters-of-scale",
"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
"link": "/radio/program/masters-of-scale",
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
"tagline": "A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids",
"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/mindshift/",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 12
},
"link": "/podcasts/mindshift",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
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}
},
"morning-edition": {
"id": "morning-edition",
"title": "Morning Edition",
"info": "\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 3am-9am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/",
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"link": "/radio/program/morning-edition"
},
"onourwatch": {
"id": "onourwatch",
"title": "On Our Watch",
"tagline": "Deeply-reported investigative journalism",
"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/On-Our-Watch-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "On Our Watch from NPR and KQED",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "kqed",
"order": 11
},
"link": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1567098962",
"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM2MC9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbD9zYz1nb29nbGVwb2RjYXN0cw",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510360/podcast.xml"
}
},
"on-the-media": {
"id": "on-the-media",
"title": "On The Media",
"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
"airtime": "SUN 2pm-3pm, MON 12am-1am",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/onTheMedia.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.wnycstudios.org/shows/otm",
"meta": {
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"source": "wnyc"
},
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