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"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the loony bin got in the way of Disney Princess and New Footman moving to California:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"354\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg 354w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210-160x177.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 354px) 100vw, 354px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria and Albert stopped fighting long enough to pretend they were in \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kiss-rain.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109798\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/notebook-rain-scene-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam got really riled up over an assault on some Brit's lemons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109785\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lemon-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I vowed to start a White House petition for ABC to cast Hot Italian Chef as the next Bachelor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg 1014w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I asked you all to vote on who was cuter: Albert or his cousin, King Otto of Greece. The results were not even close:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109816\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"275\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria.jpg 880w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-160x73.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-800x367.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-768x353.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(If you missed \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">the last recap\u003c/a> and want your voice heard, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">you can still vote\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will we objectify some more royal dudes this episode? Will New Footman break Disney Princess out of the mental asylum so they can realize their \u003cem>Beverly Hills 90210\u003c/em> fantasy? Will the season finale's climax involve the writers explaining that the cholera episode and everything that followed was just a fever dream and Babyface Maid is actually totally healthy and loving her new life as an innkeeper? Will Victoria and Albert continue to copy make-out techniques from the stars of \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109818\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/ryan-gosling-rachel-mcaddams-kiss-award.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"425\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our season finale begins with Albert still obsessing over hosting his glorified middle school science fair. This is the first time one of his random hobbies has managed to last more than a single episode. Congrats are in order!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109829\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nancy-pelosi-state-of-the-union-clap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"423\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109830\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nicole-kidman-weird-clap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"477\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109834\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spelling-bee-clap-albert-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"396\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Queen's office, everyone sits around while Victoria opens snail mail because Netflix and Twitter hadn't been invented yet, so there wasn't really much else to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the rule in this family is you must consider every first cousin as a romantic prospect, Bertie is eyeing up Xenadora's daughter, Edelweiss (yes, I know her name is actually Adelheid, but I'd rather make a reference to \u003cem>The Sound of Music\u003c/em> because a. what a wonderful film and b. we should indulge any excuse to ruminate on \u003ca href=\"https://66.media.tumblr.com/4de065ca496c673a487d491719221924/tumblr_mluk92N13k1rgewb2o2_250.gif\">how dashing\u003c/a> Christopher Plummer was as Captain von Trapp).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-heidi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, a little kid having a crush is cute, but this makes me uncomfortable because I wouldn't put it past these people to actually hook these two up to preserve power and solidify continental alliances. Excuse me while I hunt for a historical spoiler because I'd like to know how grossed out I should be over the next hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*reads Bertie and Edelweiss' Wikipedia pages, somehow ends up spending 15 minutes reading about how kinky Rasputin allegedly got with one of Victoria's granddaughters*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I'm back. Bertie and Edelweiss do not get married to each other. Guess I won't be needing this puke bag after all. Phew!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109875\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/puke-bag-fakeout.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"218\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria receives a letter from Disney Villain about how Disney Princess has come down with an \"inflammation of the brain that requires complete rest and seclusion.\" Somehow, the Queen fails to realize that's Abusive Husband Speak for \"I locked her in her room because I'm the only one who gets to have frisky affairs around here!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Albert tries to arrange a husband for Edelweiss because she's 16 going on Old Maid, by Victorian standards. Bertie promptly turns into the \u003ca href=\"https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/talkingtech/2017/02/24/white-guy-blinking-meme-explained/98358288/\">white guy blinking meme\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109837\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-victoria-wtf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"421\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/white-guy-blinking-meme.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"470\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember back at the beginning of the season, when the French overthrew their monarch and forced that rich lady to flee with her cute dog?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-1020x1105.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"433\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-1020x1105.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-160x173.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-800x866.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-768x832.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-960x1040.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-240x260.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-375x406.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-520x563.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria.jpg 1060w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, things are still very chaotic over there. There's now been a coup, involving Napoleon Bonaparte's even shorter nephew, Louis Napoleon, declaring himself Emperor. Lord Pam is excited by this because, like Marie Kondo, he loves mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-love-mess-marie-kondo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"261\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disney World, Disney Villain says a bunch of menacing things to an imprisoned Disney Princess. I don't know about y'all, but I'm already quite ready for New Footman to kick down the door and carry her off to California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-103627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/judge-judy-watch-impatient-annoyed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While on a walk in the park, Lord Pam sneaks up on Xenadora with a proposition:\u003cem> Let's marry off Edelweiss to Louis Napoleon! She'd be Empress and outrank everyone, even Victoria!\u003c/em> Xenadora salivates all over the front of her dress at the thought.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/janeane-garafalo-romy-beer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> gets tired of no one doing anything to help Disney Princess, so she flat out asks Victoria: \u003cem>Hey, can I go over there and save the day again, like I did when I foiled Lord Pam's plan to shoot a bunch of Chartists in the street? \u003c/em>Victoria agrees because she wants me to have a reason to make this gif again, but with Disney Villain's face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If this season has taught us anything, there's nothing Lord Pam loves more than buddying up with foreign troublemakers the Queen doesn't approve of (shout out to the French rebels in the season premiere and that random Hungarian from Episode 3 who only ever gets around to shaving his chin and nothing else):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, add another name to that list of troublemakers because Lord Pam is at it again, this time sending congratulations to Louis Napoleon without approval from the Queen or his party. Now, the King of Prussia is pissed, which has made Albert pissed, which has made Victoria pissed, so yeah, this is bad. Prime Minister Pushover believes the scandal may cost Lord Pam his position as Foreign Secretary. But then what would we do for entertainment around here? Someone has to sprinkle drama on top of every episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Albert finds Xenadora and vents, \u003cem>OMG, can you believe Lord Pam cozied up to the Emperor of France? Only traitors would ever want anything to do with the French! Am I right or am I right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora, who's hiding a beret, a baguette and a French language Rosetta Stone CD-ROM behind her back, smiles and slowly backs away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After bribing a maid and finding out the truth behind Disney Princess' fake illness, Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em> tells Victoria what's really going on at Disney World. Victoria asks New Footman to fetch Disney Villain. Uh oh! Maybe we don't need Lord Pam to bring the drama after all! By the look on Jo's face, she knows it's about to go down:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-shit-jo-from-the-facts-of-life-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"417\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, New Footman yells about how he is going to snap Disney Villain's neck like a chicken's and then declares that he'll lay down his life if it means saving Disney Princess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because Jo didn't get a chance to stare down Disney Villain, Mean Butler will have to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-penge-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jo:\u003c/strong> \"Don't look so surprised! You think a footman isn't capable of real feeling?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \"A good looking young man could use a Duchess for his own advancement.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jo:\u003c/strong> \"Not everyone thinks like you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \"You don't think I'm capable of real feeling?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nene-laughing-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Villain is called to the \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: line-through\">principal's\u003c/span> Queen's office to explain himself. He prattles on about how he had no choice but to lock Disney Princess up because she suffers from \"hysterical nymphomania.\" Victoria doesn't waste any time laying down some feminist truth: \"In my experience, men only call women mad when they're doing something inconvenient.\" She demands that he release Disney Princess at once and, before he has a chance to disagree, says \"You may leave us, \"which is polite British for \"Get the F out of my face before I have you exiled.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening, Bertie runs into Victoria's bedroom and shakes her awake to announce that Albert is dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria bolts out of bed and rushes to find that Albert is not dead, just napping. Bertie really needs to stay in tutoring, if he can't tell the difference between a sleeping person and a corpse. Then again, his 30-year-old mother just recently found out humans can't breathe underwater, so maybe I should cut him some slack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, it's finally time for the Great Exhibition! We were promised the most impressive innovations from around the world. Instead, we got stylish taxidermied ferrets and musical frogs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1020x458.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"216\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1020x458.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-160x72.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-800x360.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-768x345.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1200x539.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM.png 1900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1020x548.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"258\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1020x548.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-800x430.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-768x412.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1200x644.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM.png 1598w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Victoria, Albert and the kids take off for the Exhibition, some Homeland Security guy, who turns out to be Nine Fingers from earlier this season, pops up to say that someone in the crowd might try to attack them. Victoria thinks the possibility over for a millisecond before saying, \u003cem>Meh, I've been shot at a bunch of times and the assassins always mess up. See y'all there!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Great Exhibition Hall is a huge hit and no one tries to kill the Queen. Yay! But someone still might end up dead because a newly freed Disney Princess is already tempting fate by hanging out with New Footman in plain view. He has made arrangements for the two of them to leave for America later that evening; all she has to do is meet him at the train station. Disney Princess really wants to, but worries about leaving her son behind, so New Footman tries to ease her concern: \u003cem>Your son is basically an adult. 10 is the new 20! He'll be fine!\u003c/em> Quite the flimsy argument, but let's just go along with it because I want to watch their \u003cem>90210\u003c/em> spin-off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman spots Mean Butler spying on them and walks over to have it out. Their chat goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I quit!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sorry that I misjudged you as a scammer who was looking for a come-up. I can see that you actually had good intentions the whole time. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>LOL, no, you were totally right. I am a scammer looking for a come-up. I just happened to fall in love during this particular scam.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>This reminds me of a time a lady and I were...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yeah, I don't care. Bye forever!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Vicky Jr. is introduced to the much older Prussian prince Albert has decided she will marry once she gets her period. And Edelweiss meets another cute-enough Prussian Albert picked out (damn, Al, one hobby at a time!). Bertie's little heart is crushed that he will never get the chance to incest it up with his cousin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-sad-omg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"261\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who is not pleased by Edelweiss being paired up with a Prussian is Xenadora, whose French vanilla fantasy has now been cancelled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/paris-audrey-hepburn-cancelled.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, earlier in this recap, I mentioned the possibility of objectifying more royal men via a poll. That time has come because why not? Let's vote on who's cuter out of Edelweiss' two potential husbands:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Louis Napoleon?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"386\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III.jpg 386w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III-160x199.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 386px) 100vw, 386px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or this Prussian dude?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109866\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-1020x1319.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"517\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-1020x1319.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-160x207.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-800x1034.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-768x993.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-928x1200.jpg 928w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein.jpg 1584w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You decide!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe class=\"qp_iframe\" src=\"https://www.poll-maker.com/frame2269423x0Da48b3D-65\" seamless=\"seamless\" frameborder=\"no\" style=\"border:0; background:transparent; width:100%; height:197px;\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different part of the exhibition hall, Disney Villain corners Mean Butler and demands to know the name of his wife's lover. But Mean Butler is good all of a sudden and tosses the little bribery ball sack and its three measly coins on the ground. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> did dramatically transferring money better:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Bertie proposes to Edelweiss, who responds with, \"Don't you think I'm a little too old for you?\" Great point, but you missed this part: \"...and don't you think it's alarming how we share a grandparent?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she's also pretty much a child who doesn't have a firm grasp on what a secret is, Edelweiss blurts out that another reason she can't marry her 8-year-old first cousin is that her mother is already arranging her marriage to the French Emperor. Oh, boy, Bertie is totally going to run and tell his parents! This is about to get messy. To pull a mood from earlier in the episode:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-shit-jo-from-the-facts-of-life-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"417\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In political news: After being censured by all the other old white dudes in power, Lord Pam decides to resign. On his way home, Xenadora runs up and is like, \u003cem>Hey, so about you hooking my daughter up with Louis Napoleon! Let's marry her off!\u003c/em> Lord Pam shuts it down with a quickness: \u003cem>I don't have a job anymore. Something else I don't have: an F to give about you or your daughter. Peace out! It's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down the hall, Victoria senses Disney Princess' plan to ditch her kid for a man and proceeds to guilt trip her for even considering leaving her child behind. Don't listen to her, Disney Princess! 10 is the new 20! Go to America and enjoy New Footman's \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png\">boat-censored parts \u003c/a>for the rest of your days!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Exhibition, Edelweiss tries to make things up to Bertie by gifting him a piece of chocolate. He smacks it out of her hand and runs away. Maybe because it wasn't a Kit Kat, which I recently found out is the actor who plays Bertie's favorite sweet treat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/qYofNetNKTU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bertie runs into Albert and tells him all about his heartbreak and how Xenadora is trying to marry Edelweiss off to Louis Napoleon. The revenge sirens from \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em> go off in Albert's ears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"460\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena.jpg 914w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-160x123.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-800x613.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-768x588.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert tells the Queen how sneaky Xenadora is, Victoria uses every muscle in her body to suppress an \"I TOLD YOU SO!!!\" jig.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/told-ya-so.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"302\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Victoria can celebrate being right all along, Xenadora strolls in and shovels more of her BS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, fam! Congrats on the exhibition and being the smartest, coolest brother-in-law ever! And thanks so much for hooking my daughter up with that Prussian dude, whom I totally want her to marry, especially cause he's not a stinky French person! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>LIAR!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Fine, you caught me. I think Bertie is an idiot. I'm moving out. Bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria tries to have a heart-to-heart with Xenadora and tells her she doesn't have to go, but Xenadora isn't hearing any of it. In her mind, she should've been Queen and that's that on that! Cold and heartless 'til the bitter end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Disney Princess is packed and about to leave for the train station, when her son stops her to share a dream he had of her abandoning him. A little too on the nose, don't you think, \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers? Meanwhile, New Footman waits at the station with no Disney Princess in sight. I'm thinking he'll be waiting there for quite some time. Thanks a lot, Disney Heir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Albert and Victoria revel in how successful the exhibition was. You know what else is successful? The acting prowess of Albert's left hand. Look at it go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-hand.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"379\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To make up for a season of being at each other's throats, Albert and Victoria reminisce about when she proposed to him and how happy they are with each other. They share a passionate kiss... and then Albert loses consciousness and collapses to the ground. Victoria screams his name over and over and, despite having hundreds of servants, no one comes to help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: That Cliffhanger. \u003c/strong>Sure, we can Google Albert's death date to find out if this is really serious or not, but it's still rude! As is making us wonder whether Disney Princess really stood New Footman up or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/how-rude-stephanie-tanner-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Ernst. \u003c/strong>Not even one measly appearance this entire season?? But they found the time to trot out everyone's least favorite character, Uncle Leopold? What gives? Sure, Ernst was probably busy applying that poison powder to his diseased penis, but he needs to get it under control 'cause Season 4 needs him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Bertie\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>His incest wish may not have come true, but he's still a winner, considering how much screen time he grabbed all season. The actor who plays him is going to be able to buy so many Kit Kats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Edelweiss.\u003c/strong> Imagine having Xenadora as your mom. Or, worse than that, imagine your two suitors both being that butt ugly. But Louis Napoleon's genes aren't all bad; check out his hot son!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impe%CC%81rial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-1020x1622.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-1020x1622.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-160x254.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-800x1272.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-768x1221.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-755x1200.jpg 755w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lord Pam and Xenadora\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Love them or love to hate them, these two newbies brought the drama this season. Without them, it would have just been 8 full hours of Victoria and Albert arguing. And lord knows we've seen enough of that for a lifetime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109872\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/stop-fighting-please.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"362\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> starts up again! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my other \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a> / \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> / \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">recaps\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "For a show that can sometimes be a little snoozy, this season finale really brought the fireworks!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the loony bin got in the way of Disney Princess and New Footman moving to California:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"354\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg 354w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210-160x177.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 354px) 100vw, 354px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria and Albert stopped fighting long enough to pretend they were in \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kiss-rain.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109798\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/notebook-rain-scene-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam got really riled up over an assault on some Brit's lemons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109785\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lemon-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I vowed to start a White House petition for ABC to cast Hot Italian Chef as the next Bachelor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg 1014w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I asked you all to vote on who was cuter: Albert or his cousin, King Otto of Greece. The results were not even close:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109816\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"275\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria.jpg 880w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-160x73.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-800x367.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-otto-victoria-768x353.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(If you missed \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">the last recap\u003c/a> and want your voice heard, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">you can still vote\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will we objectify some more royal dudes this episode? Will New Footman break Disney Princess out of the mental asylum so they can realize their \u003cem>Beverly Hills 90210\u003c/em> fantasy? Will the season finale's climax involve the writers explaining that the cholera episode and everything that followed was just a fever dream and Babyface Maid is actually totally healthy and loving her new life as an innkeeper? Will Victoria and Albert continue to copy make-out techniques from the stars of \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109818\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/ryan-gosling-rachel-mcaddams-kiss-award.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"425\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our season finale begins with Albert still obsessing over hosting his glorified middle school science fair. This is the first time one of his random hobbies has managed to last more than a single episode. Congrats are in order!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109829\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nancy-pelosi-state-of-the-union-clap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"423\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109830\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nicole-kidman-weird-clap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"477\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109834\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/spelling-bee-clap-albert-victoria-pbs.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"396\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Queen's office, everyone sits around while Victoria opens snail mail because Netflix and Twitter hadn't been invented yet, so there wasn't really much else to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the rule in this family is you must consider every first cousin as a romantic prospect, Bertie is eyeing up Xenadora's daughter, Edelweiss (yes, I know her name is actually Adelheid, but I'd rather make a reference to \u003cem>The Sound of Music\u003c/em> because a. what a wonderful film and b. we should indulge any excuse to ruminate on \u003ca href=\"https://66.media.tumblr.com/4de065ca496c673a487d491719221924/tumblr_mluk92N13k1rgewb2o2_250.gif\">how dashing\u003c/a> Christopher Plummer was as Captain von Trapp).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-heidi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, a little kid having a crush is cute, but this makes me uncomfortable because I wouldn't put it past these people to actually hook these two up to preserve power and solidify continental alliances. Excuse me while I hunt for a historical spoiler because I'd like to know how grossed out I should be over the next hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*reads Bertie and Edelweiss' Wikipedia pages, somehow ends up spending 15 minutes reading about how kinky Rasputin allegedly got with one of Victoria's granddaughters*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I'm back. Bertie and Edelweiss do not get married to each other. Guess I won't be needing this puke bag after all. Phew!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109875\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/puke-bag-fakeout.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"218\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria receives a letter from Disney Villain about how Disney Princess has come down with an \"inflammation of the brain that requires complete rest and seclusion.\" Somehow, the Queen fails to realize that's Abusive Husband Speak for \"I locked her in her room because I'm the only one who gets to have frisky affairs around here!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Albert tries to arrange a husband for Edelweiss because she's 16 going on Old Maid, by Victorian standards. Bertie promptly turns into the \u003ca href=\"https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/talkingtech/2017/02/24/white-guy-blinking-meme-explained/98358288/\">white guy blinking meme\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109837\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-victoria-wtf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"421\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/white-guy-blinking-meme.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"470\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Remember back at the beginning of the season, when the French overthrew their monarch and forced that rich lady to flee with her cute dog?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-1020x1105.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"433\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-1020x1105.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-160x173.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-800x866.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-768x832.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-960x1040.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-240x260.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-375x406.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria-520x563.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/heart-puppy-victoria.jpg 1060w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, things are still very chaotic over there. There's now been a coup, involving Napoleon Bonaparte's even shorter nephew, Louis Napoleon, declaring himself Emperor. Lord Pam is excited by this because, like Marie Kondo, he loves mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-love-mess-marie-kondo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"261\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disney World, Disney Villain says a bunch of menacing things to an imprisoned Disney Princess. I don't know about y'all, but I'm already quite ready for New Footman to kick down the door and carry her off to California.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-103627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/05/judge-judy-watch-impatient-annoyed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While on a walk in the park, Lord Pam sneaks up on Xenadora with a proposition:\u003cem> Let's marry off Edelweiss to Louis Napoleon! She'd be Empress and outrank everyone, even Victoria!\u003c/em> Xenadora salivates all over the front of her dress at the thought.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/janeane-garafalo-romy-beer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a> gets tired of no one doing anything to help Disney Princess, so she flat out asks Victoria: \u003cem>Hey, can I go over there and save the day again, like I did when I foiled Lord Pam's plan to shoot a bunch of Chartists in the street? \u003c/em>Victoria agrees because she wants me to have a reason to make this gif again, but with Disney Villain's face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108773\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-and-pam-staredown.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If this season has taught us anything, there's nothing Lord Pam loves more than buddying up with foreign troublemakers the Queen doesn't approve of (shout out to the French rebels in the season premiere and that random Hungarian from Episode 3 who only ever gets around to shaving his chin and nothing else):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-koss-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, add another name to that list of troublemakers because Lord Pam is at it again, this time sending congratulations to Louis Napoleon without approval from the Queen or his party. Now, the King of Prussia is pissed, which has made Albert pissed, which has made Victoria pissed, so yeah, this is bad. Prime Minister Pushover believes the scandal may cost Lord Pam his position as Foreign Secretary. But then what would we do for entertainment around here? Someone has to sprinkle drama on top of every episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lord-pam-drama-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Albert finds Xenadora and vents, \u003cem>OMG, can you believe Lord Pam cozied up to the Emperor of France? Only traitors would ever want anything to do with the French! Am I right or am I right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Xenadora, who's hiding a beret, a baguette and a French language Rosetta Stone CD-ROM behind her back, smiles and slowly backs away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-33558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After bribing a maid and finding out the truth behind Disney Princess' fake illness, Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em> tells Victoria what's really going on at Disney World. Victoria asks New Footman to fetch Disney Villain. Uh oh! Maybe we don't need Lord Pam to bring the drama after all! By the look on Jo's face, she knows it's about to go down:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-shit-jo-from-the-facts-of-life-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"417\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, New Footman yells about how he is going to snap Disney Villain's neck like a chicken's and then declares that he'll lay down his life if it means saving Disney Princess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because Jo didn't get a chance to stare down Disney Villain, Mean Butler will have to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-penge-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jo:\u003c/strong> \"Don't look so surprised! You think a footman isn't capable of real feeling?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \"A good looking young man could use a Duchess for his own advancement.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jo:\u003c/strong> \"Not everyone thinks like you!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \"You don't think I'm capable of real feeling?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nene-laughing-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Villain is called to the \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: line-through\">principal's\u003c/span> Queen's office to explain himself. He prattles on about how he had no choice but to lock Disney Princess up because she suffers from \"hysterical nymphomania.\" Victoria doesn't waste any time laying down some feminist truth: \"In my experience, men only call women mad when they're doing something inconvenient.\" She demands that he release Disney Princess at once and, before he has a chance to disagree, says \"You may leave us, \"which is polite British for \"Get the F out of my face before I have you exiled.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That evening, Bertie runs into Victoria's bedroom and shakes her awake to announce that Albert is dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria bolts out of bed and rushes to find that Albert is not dead, just napping. Bertie really needs to stay in tutoring, if he can't tell the difference between a sleeping person and a corpse. Then again, his 30-year-old mother just recently found out humans can't breathe underwater, so maybe I should cut him some slack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, it's finally time for the Great Exhibition! We were promised the most impressive innovations from around the world. Instead, we got stylish taxidermied ferrets and musical frogs:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1020x458.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"216\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1020x458.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-160x72.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-800x360.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-768x345.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM-1200x539.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.00.16-PM.png 1900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1020x548.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"258\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1020x548.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-800x430.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-768x412.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM-1200x644.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-03-02-at-6.02.34-PM.png 1598w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Victoria, Albert and the kids take off for the Exhibition, some Homeland Security guy, who turns out to be Nine Fingers from earlier this season, pops up to say that someone in the crowd might try to attack them. Victoria thinks the possibility over for a millisecond before saying, \u003cem>Meh, I've been shot at a bunch of times and the assassins always mess up. See y'all there!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Great Exhibition Hall is a huge hit and no one tries to kill the Queen. Yay! But someone still might end up dead because a newly freed Disney Princess is already tempting fate by hanging out with New Footman in plain view. He has made arrangements for the two of them to leave for America later that evening; all she has to do is meet him at the train station. Disney Princess really wants to, but worries about leaving her son behind, so New Footman tries to ease her concern: \u003cem>Your son is basically an adult. 10 is the new 20! He'll be fine!\u003c/em> Quite the flimsy argument, but let's just go along with it because I want to watch their \u003cem>90210\u003c/em> spin-off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman spots Mean Butler spying on them and walks over to have it out. Their chat goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I quit!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sorry that I misjudged you as a scammer who was looking for a come-up. I can see that you actually had good intentions the whole time. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>LOL, no, you were totally right. I am a scammer looking for a come-up. I just happened to fall in love during this particular scam.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mean Butler:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>This reminds me of a time a lady and I were...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>New Footman:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yeah, I don't care. Bye forever!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Vicky Jr. is introduced to the much older Prussian prince Albert has decided she will marry once she gets her period. And Edelweiss meets another cute-enough Prussian Albert picked out (damn, Al, one hobby at a time!). Bertie's little heart is crushed that he will never get the chance to incest it up with his cousin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-sad-omg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"261\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who is not pleased by Edelweiss being paired up with a Prussian is Xenadora, whose French vanilla fantasy has now been cancelled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/paris-audrey-hepburn-cancelled.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, earlier in this recap, I mentioned the possibility of objectifying more royal men via a poll. That time has come because why not? Let's vote on who's cuter out of Edelweiss' two potential husbands:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Louis Napoleon?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"386\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III.jpg 386w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Napoleon-Bonaparte-III-160x199.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 386px) 100vw, 386px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or this Prussian dude?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109866\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-1020x1319.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"517\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-1020x1319.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-160x207.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-800x1034.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-768x993.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein-928x1200.jpg 928w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Friedrich_VIII_von_Schleswig-Holstein.jpg 1584w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You decide!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe class=\"qp_iframe\" src=\"https://www.poll-maker.com/frame2269423x0Da48b3D-65\" seamless=\"seamless\" frameborder=\"no\" style=\"border:0; background:transparent; width:100%; height:197px;\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different part of the exhibition hall, Disney Villain corners Mean Butler and demands to know the name of his wife's lover. But Mean Butler is good all of a sudden and tosses the little bribery ball sack and its three measly coins on the ground. \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> did dramatically transferring money better:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Bertie proposes to Edelweiss, who responds with, \"Don't you think I'm a little too old for you?\" Great point, but you missed this part: \"...and don't you think it's alarming how we share a grandparent?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she's also pretty much a child who doesn't have a firm grasp on what a secret is, Edelweiss blurts out that another reason she can't marry her 8-year-old first cousin is that her mother is already arranging her marriage to the French Emperor. Oh, boy, Bertie is totally going to run and tell his parents! This is about to get messy. To pull a mood from earlier in the episode:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-shit-jo-from-the-facts-of-life-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"417\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In political news: After being censured by all the other old white dudes in power, Lord Pam decides to resign. On his way home, Xenadora runs up and is like, \u003cem>Hey, so about you hooking my daughter up with Louis Napoleon! Let's marry her off!\u003c/em> Lord Pam shuts it down with a quickness: \u003cem>I don't have a job anymore. Something else I don't have: an F to give about you or your daughter. Peace out! It's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down the hall, Victoria senses Disney Princess' plan to ditch her kid for a man and proceeds to guilt trip her for even considering leaving her child behind. Don't listen to her, Disney Princess! 10 is the new 20! Go to America and enjoy New Footman's \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png\">boat-censored parts \u003c/a>for the rest of your days!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Exhibition, Edelweiss tries to make things up to Bertie by gifting him a piece of chocolate. He smacks it out of her hand and runs away. Maybe because it wasn't a Kit Kat, which I recently found out is the actor who plays Bertie's favorite sweet treat.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qYofNetNKTU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qYofNetNKTU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Bertie runs into Albert and tells him all about his heartbreak and how Xenadora is trying to marry Edelweiss off to Louis Napoleon. The revenge sirens from \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em> go off in Albert's ears.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"460\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena.jpg 914w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-160x123.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-800x613.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kill-xena-768x588.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert tells the Queen how sneaky Xenadora is, Victoria uses every muscle in her body to suppress an \"I TOLD YOU SO!!!\" jig.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/told-ya-so.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"302\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Victoria can celebrate being right all along, Xenadora strolls in and shovels more of her BS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, fam! Congrats on the exhibition and being the smartest, coolest brother-in-law ever! And thanks so much for hooking my daughter up with that Prussian dude, whom I totally want her to marry, especially cause he's not a stinky French person! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>LIAR!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Fine, you caught me. I think Bertie is an idiot. I'm moving out. Bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria tries to have a heart-to-heart with Xenadora and tells her she doesn't have to go, but Xenadora isn't hearing any of it. In her mind, she should've been Queen and that's that on that! Cold and heartless 'til the bitter end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Disney Princess is packed and about to leave for the train station, when her son stops her to share a dream he had of her abandoning him. A little too on the nose, don't you think, \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers? Meanwhile, New Footman waits at the station with no Disney Princess in sight. I'm thinking he'll be waiting there for quite some time. Thanks a lot, Disney Heir!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Albert and Victoria revel in how successful the exhibition was. You know what else is successful? The acting prowess of Albert's left hand. Look at it go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/albert-hand.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"379\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To make up for a season of being at each other's throats, Albert and Victoria reminisce about when she proposed to him and how happy they are with each other. They share a passionate kiss... and then Albert loses consciousness and collapses to the ground. Victoria screams his name over and over and, despite having hundreds of servants, no one comes to help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: That Cliffhanger. \u003c/strong>Sure, we can Google Albert's death date to find out if this is really serious or not, but it's still rude! As is making us wonder whether Disney Princess really stood New Footman up or not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/how-rude-stephanie-tanner-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Ernst. \u003c/strong>Not even one measly appearance this entire season?? But they found the time to trot out everyone's least favorite character, Uncle Leopold? What gives? Sure, Ernst was probably busy applying that poison powder to his diseased penis, but he needs to get it under control 'cause Season 4 needs him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Bertie\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>His incest wish may not have come true, but he's still a winner, considering how much screen time he grabbed all season. The actor who plays him is going to be able to buy so many Kit Kats!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Edelweiss.\u003c/strong> Imagine having Xenadora as your mom. Or, worse than that, imagine your two suitors both being that butt ugly. But Louis Napoleon's genes aren't all bad; check out his hot son!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impe%CC%81rial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-1020x1622.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-1020x1622.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-160x254.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-800x1272.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-768x1221.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica-755x1200.jpg 755w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/1024px-Prince_Impérial_1878_Londres_BNF_Gallica.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lord Pam and Xenadora\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Love them or love to hate them, these two newbies brought the drama this season. Without them, it would have just been 8 full hours of Victoria and Albert arguing. And lord knows we've seen enough of that for a lifetime.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109872\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/stop-fighting-please.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"362\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> starts up again! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my other \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a> / \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> / \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">recaps\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Leaving Neverland' Makes Powerful But One-Sided Case Against the King Of Pop",
"title": "'Leaving Neverland' Makes Powerful But One-Sided Case Against the King Of Pop",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>HBO's \u003cem>Leaving Neverland \u003c/em>is ultimately a tribute to the power of personal testimony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over four hours, the film slowly excavates the stories of James Safechuck and Wade Robson. The two men each met Michael Jackson as children in the 1980s and allege the pop star sexually abused them for years while showering their families with attention and gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of Jackson's family members—particularly, his nephew Taj and brothers Jackie, Marlon and Tito Jackson—have denied these allegations. Last week, Jackson's estate \u003ca href=\"https://www.cbsnews.com/news/michael-jackson-estate-sues-hbo-over-leaving-neverland-documentary/\">filed a lawsuit against HBO\u003c/a> over the documentary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He was one of the kindest, most gentle, loving, caring people I knew,\" says Robson, who eventually built a career as a choreographer for artists such as Britney Spears and NSYNC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He also sexually abused me for seven years.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Soft-spoken and at times hesitant, Safechuck seems the more subdued of the two men. He says Jackson told him their activities were the singer's first sexual experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One heartbreaking sequence from the film toggles between two jarringly different stories. In one, Safechuck's mother, Stephanie, speaks about how she overheard Jackson and her son playing together, by themselves, in the singer's hotel room, doing \"just kid things\" like reading books. In the other, her son describes in detail how the pop star used those private moments to kiss him and perform oral sex on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's the biggest entertainer and he's a creative genius, and that creative genius thinks that you are special,\" Safechuck says ruefully, after outlining how Jackson would abuse him. \"What's not to like, right?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Ze8LjzV7Q\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> makes a powerful case against the King of Pop. The film's impact comes from its unwavering focus on the two men and their allegations. The harrowing tales are delivered in excruciating detail to the camera, bolstered by accounts from their mothers, wives and a few other relatives. They each describe a textbook case in which a superstar pedophile groomed children and their families to accept his advances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson met both men when they were children and he was at his creative peak. Robson won a dance contest at age 5 in his native Australia back in 1987; the first prize was meeting Jackson. Safechuck starred in a famous \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RnwEklPC8Y\">1986 Pepsi commercial\u003c/a> in which he rummages through the singer's dressing room before Jackson enters, surprising him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In both cases, the men describe how Jackson paid them loads of attention, bringing them onstage to bask in the white-hot spotlight of his fame. He would take them on his concert tours and talk with them on the phone for hours. This was when Jackson was at the height of his stardom, as screaming crowds mobbed his every public appearance around the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were warning signs: Safechuck's mother, Stephanie, describes how, as the tour went on, she was housed in hotel rooms farther and farther away from Jackson and her son. Robson's mother, Joy, speaks about a visit to Jackson's Neverland Ranch compound when her son and the pop star would disappear for hours together, actively avoiding her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their stories also suggest Jackson's fame and success led the boys' parents to accept situations they may never have tolerated involving someone less famous. The wider world may have been under his spell as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stephanie Safechuck says when Jackson brought her son into his dressing room during the Pepsi shoot, the singer's makeup artist told her about the star, \" 'He's like a 9-year-old boy' ... so that made me feel comfortable [leaving them alone].\" But should anyone be comforted by the idea that a nearly 30-year-old man acts like a 9-year-old? And why did pop music fans back in the day accept the argument that he was too childlike to be dangerous? Such explanations were often used publicly to justify stories of Jackson sharing a bed with children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, both men explain how they fell out of favor with Jackson as they aged, only to find the singer renew their friendship after he was accused of child sexual abuse in 1993 and arrested on child molestation charges in 2003. Back then, Safechuck and Robson denied that Jackson ever abused them, deciding later to reverse their stories as, they say, they were grappling with depression and emotional trauma.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>'s greatest advantage—its focus on the two men's personal testimony—is also its biggest weakness, as no one outside their families is interviewed by the filmmakers to provide a wider context. Most of the rebuttals to accounts of abuse in the movie come from news clips of Jackson and his lawyers addressing different allegations from different accusers. However, there are other sources who could have corroborated the men's stories, including former employees of Jackson questioned during the pop star's 2005 molestation trial (Jackson was acquitted on all charges).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a stark contrast to another recent, attention-getting documentary, Lifetime's \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/03/681851521/lifetimes-series-about-r-kelly-depicts-a-darker-side-to-the-singer\">Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, which surrounded first-person allegations of abuse against the R&B star with fresh interviews. They featured everyone from Kelly's high school music teacher to two of his brothers. That approach left little doubt that viewers had seen a wide-ranging narrative that built its case on the foundation of dozens of similar stories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For \u003cem>Leaving Neverland, \u003c/em>the lack of outside voices seems a crucial weakness, especially given that both men sued Jackson's estate years after his 2009 death. Their lawsuits were dismissed after judges said they filed claims too late, but their lawyer\u003ca href=\"https://turnto10.com/features/national-entertainment/jackson-allegations-and-fight-over-them-return-with-new-film\"> plans to file an appeal.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The film has already made a huge media splash since its premiere earlier this year at the Sundance Film Festival. There's now a lawsuit against HBO from Jackson's estate, which called the film, \"unvetted propaganda.\" CBS \u003cem>This Morning\u003c/em> featured interviews this week with \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLhX5ETjs1g\">Jackson's family members,\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPdTmWwK8Rs\"> director Dan Reed,\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNW1Vpt61Hw\">Robson and Safechuck\u003c/a>. \u003ca href=\"https://www.apnews.com/fd5db74564d44fd3bb64eae8ddca4800\">Oprah Winfrey will sit down\u003c/a> with Reed, Safechuck and Robson before an audience of abuse survivors for a special airing Monday on HBO and her Oprah Winfrey Network cable channel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the struggle over Jackson's legacy continues, \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> offers a compelling look at two men who say their perspective on their abuse has shifted over time. And perhaps, in the same way, the wider world will have to take another, closer look at legendary figures accused of horrific acts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Leaving+Neverland%27+Makes+Powerful+But+One-Sided+Case+Against+The+King+Of+Pop&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Two men who met Michael Jackson as children in the '80s allege the pop star sexually abused them for years. Reliance on personal testimony is both the strength and weakness of HBO's 'Leaving Neverland.'",
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"description": "Two men who met Michael Jackson as children in the '80s allege the pop star sexually abused them for years. Reliance on personal testimony is both the strength and weakness of HBO's 'Leaving Neverland.'",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>HBO's \u003cem>Leaving Neverland \u003c/em>is ultimately a tribute to the power of personal testimony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over four hours, the film slowly excavates the stories of James Safechuck and Wade Robson. The two men each met Michael Jackson as children in the 1980s and allege the pop star sexually abused them for years while showering their families with attention and gifts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some of Jackson's family members—particularly, his nephew Taj and brothers Jackie, Marlon and Tito Jackson—have denied these allegations. Last week, Jackson's estate \u003ca href=\"https://www.cbsnews.com/news/michael-jackson-estate-sues-hbo-over-leaving-neverland-documentary/\">filed a lawsuit against HBO\u003c/a> over the documentary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He was one of the kindest, most gentle, loving, caring people I knew,\" says Robson, who eventually built a career as a choreographer for artists such as Britney Spears and NSYNC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He also sexually abused me for seven years.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Soft-spoken and at times hesitant, Safechuck seems the more subdued of the two men. He says Jackson told him their activities were the singer's first sexual experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One heartbreaking sequence from the film toggles between two jarringly different stories. In one, Safechuck's mother, Stephanie, speaks about how she overheard Jackson and her son playing together, by themselves, in the singer's hotel room, doing \"just kid things\" like reading books. In the other, her son describes in detail how the pop star used those private moments to kiss him and perform oral sex on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's the biggest entertainer and he's a creative genius, and that creative genius thinks that you are special,\" Safechuck says ruefully, after outlining how Jackson would abuse him. \"What's not to like, right?\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/R_Ze8LjzV7Q'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/R_Ze8LjzV7Q'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> makes a powerful case against the King of Pop. The film's impact comes from its unwavering focus on the two men and their allegations. The harrowing tales are delivered in excruciating detail to the camera, bolstered by accounts from their mothers, wives and a few other relatives. They each describe a textbook case in which a superstar pedophile groomed children and their families to accept his advances.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jackson met both men when they were children and he was at his creative peak. Robson won a dance contest at age 5 in his native Australia back in 1987; the first prize was meeting Jackson. Safechuck starred in a famous \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RnwEklPC8Y\">1986 Pepsi commercial\u003c/a> in which he rummages through the singer's dressing room before Jackson enters, surprising him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In both cases, the men describe how Jackson paid them loads of attention, bringing them onstage to bask in the white-hot spotlight of his fame. He would take them on his concert tours and talk with them on the phone for hours. This was when Jackson was at the height of his stardom, as screaming crowds mobbed his every public appearance around the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were warning signs: Safechuck's mother, Stephanie, describes how, as the tour went on, she was housed in hotel rooms farther and farther away from Jackson and her son. Robson's mother, Joy, speaks about a visit to Jackson's Neverland Ranch compound when her son and the pop star would disappear for hours together, actively avoiding her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their stories also suggest Jackson's fame and success led the boys' parents to accept situations they may never have tolerated involving someone less famous. The wider world may have been under his spell as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stephanie Safechuck says when Jackson brought her son into his dressing room during the Pepsi shoot, the singer's makeup artist told her about the star, \" 'He's like a 9-year-old boy' ... so that made me feel comfortable [leaving them alone].\" But should anyone be comforted by the idea that a nearly 30-year-old man acts like a 9-year-old? And why did pop music fans back in the day accept the argument that he was too childlike to be dangerous? Such explanations were often used publicly to justify stories of Jackson sharing a bed with children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, both men explain how they fell out of favor with Jackson as they aged, only to find the singer renew their friendship after he was accused of child sexual abuse in 1993 and arrested on child molestation charges in 2003. Back then, Safechuck and Robson denied that Jackson ever abused them, deciding later to reverse their stories as, they say, they were grappling with depression and emotional trauma.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em>'s greatest advantage—its focus on the two men's personal testimony—is also its biggest weakness, as no one outside their families is interviewed by the filmmakers to provide a wider context. Most of the rebuttals to accounts of abuse in the movie come from news clips of Jackson and his lawyers addressing different allegations from different accusers. However, there are other sources who could have corroborated the men's stories, including former employees of Jackson questioned during the pop star's 2005 molestation trial (Jackson was acquitted on all charges).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a stark contrast to another recent, attention-getting documentary, Lifetime's \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/03/681851521/lifetimes-series-about-r-kelly-depicts-a-darker-side-to-the-singer\">Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, which surrounded first-person allegations of abuse against the R&B star with fresh interviews. They featured everyone from Kelly's high school music teacher to two of his brothers. That approach left little doubt that viewers had seen a wide-ranging narrative that built its case on the foundation of dozens of similar stories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For \u003cem>Leaving Neverland, \u003c/em>the lack of outside voices seems a crucial weakness, especially given that both men sued Jackson's estate years after his 2009 death. Their lawsuits were dismissed after judges said they filed claims too late, but their lawyer\u003ca href=\"https://turnto10.com/features/national-entertainment/jackson-allegations-and-fight-over-them-return-with-new-film\"> plans to file an appeal.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The film has already made a huge media splash since its premiere earlier this year at the Sundance Film Festival. There's now a lawsuit against HBO from Jackson's estate, which called the film, \"unvetted propaganda.\" CBS \u003cem>This Morning\u003c/em> featured interviews this week with \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLhX5ETjs1g\">Jackson's family members,\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPdTmWwK8Rs\"> director Dan Reed,\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNW1Vpt61Hw\">Robson and Safechuck\u003c/a>. \u003ca href=\"https://www.apnews.com/fd5db74564d44fd3bb64eae8ddca4800\">Oprah Winfrey will sit down\u003c/a> with Reed, Safechuck and Robson before an audience of abuse survivors for a special airing Monday on HBO and her Oprah Winfrey Network cable channel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As the struggle over Jackson's legacy continues, \u003cem>Leaving Neverland\u003c/em> offers a compelling look at two men who say their perspective on their abuse has shifted over time. And perhaps, in the same way, the wider world will have to take another, closer look at legendary figures accused of horrific acts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Leaving+Neverland%27+Makes+Powerful+But+One-Sided+Case+Against+The+King+Of+Pop&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Bertie wished his mom was dead so he could be king and never have to go to tutoring again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-slam-door-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feodora was still shamelessly on her BS:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109628\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There was a very random gendered dance battle:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dance-off-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mommy and daddy fought:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/break-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/slap-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the royal couple use their tried-and-true method of making up and create yet another baby? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The show does open with a couple bumping uglies, but it's not Victoria and Albert this time; it's Disney Princess and New Footman! If you thought they were taking way too many risks last episode with all that, um, \"wax-spilling\" in the linen closet, you'll probably have opinions about how they've now upgraded to boinking during Footman's daytime shift! They are both the Samantha of their respective friend groups and they don't care who knows it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109783\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/samantha-sex-and-the-city.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ho-ing it up is great fun and all, but a word of warning: The Season 2 Gays only made out once or twice and we all saw what happened to them. This will not end well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if doom isn't about to smack the after-sex glow right off of them, Disney Princess and New Footman make plans to run off to California together. To be honest, I would watch that spin-off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"354\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg 354w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210-160x177.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 354px) 100vw, 354px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In way less exciting news, it's time for Albert to get a random new hobby that'll only last the length of one episode. Last week, it was redesigning a coin. This week, it's teaming up with some dude named Henry Cole to put on a glorified middle school science fair. Albert is so pumped about his new hobby that—in what might be a first—he cracks a joke!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I have never met a man with quite so much energy. If you want steam, get Cole!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-20490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/00FakeLaugh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, calling it a joke was generous. Here's hoping his next hobby isn't taking up stand-up comedy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Athens, Greece. Some British guy called Don Pacifico (you can't convince me this man isn't actually a Mexcian beer) was attacked. From what we see, it looks like the worst thing that happened was people came into his kitchen and threw his lemons on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109785\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lemon-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Regardless, Lord Pam is steaming mad and wants to send a message to the world: Don't Mess With \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: line-through\">Texas\u003c/span> The Fruit of British Subjects! He advocates for a naval blockade because Britain hasn't been embroiled in enough war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, New Footman walks through the kitchen while still getting dressed after his afternoon delight. When Mean Butler calls him out on his sloppiness, New Footman snaps back, \"My appearance has always upset you. Why should today be any different?\" He's really asking for a cruel fate, huh?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Mean Butler agrees to spy on the lovebirds for Disney Villain. What does he get in return? A tiny cup of wine and an even tinier leather ball sack filled with a few coins. What a cheap date!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, the lady-in-waiting who sexed up Lord Pam back in the day warns Disney Princess to be less of a Samantha and more of a Charlotte. She shares a story about a woman who had a \"criminal conversation\" with Lord M and ended up penniless and having her children taken away. Okay, how criminal are we talking here? Why wasn't this a storyline? We have time for Albert to be obsessed with trains and toilets, but no time for this juiciness? C'mon!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109803\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/give-it-to-me-elsa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"172\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The British public freaks out over Albert and Cole's plan to host the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park. The papers call them the worst thing imaginable: TREE KILLER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1020x907.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1020x907.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-160x142.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-800x711.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-768x683.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1200x1067.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM.png 1550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they're not the only ones being roasted by newspaper illustrators. Lord Pam is getting a lot of negative press for risking war over spilled milk, or in this case, spilled lemons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109794\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1020x786.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"385\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1020x786.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-160x123.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-800x617.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-768x592.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1200x925.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM.png 1518w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Victoria is getting her fair share of criticism for giving Lord Pam carte blanche. When Albert confronts her over this, Victoria hits back by saying she wants Xenadora to go home (um, not what we were talking about, but okay). She also says this: \"You're the one who's planning to humiliate the nation with this giant gingerbread house!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Take cover, everyone! Mommy and daddy are fighting and wishing divorce was a thing in the 19th century again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"Victoria, I can tolerate Bertie because he is a child. You are a 30-year-old woman who still hasn't learned to play nicely.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"I am not a child, Albert!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"Well, stop behaving like one!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yowzers! He didn't have to throw her age out there like that! I don't like to see them bicker like this, but there is a silver lining: being at each other's throats means they're not at each other's loins making Baby #8. And for that, I am thankful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Victoria calls on Lord Pam to yell at him for doing the most with his blockade. Ever the deflecting expert, Lord Pam pretends Victoria is worried about the American pantaloon trend catching on with British women. That's enough of an excuse for me to remind everyone that Sybil was the best-dressed and coolest \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> character. That harem pants scene sparks joy and I'm keeping it in my brain forever and ever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109769\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/sybil-downton-abbey-pants.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, did y'all know \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108102/downton-abbey-is-back-watch-the-first-movie-trailer\">there's a movie coming\u003c/a>?! Her ghost better be in it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I digress...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria reprimands Lord Pam for stirring things up internationally. The King of Greece is Albert's cousin, after all! Okay, another brief time-out. We as a culture are always comparing women, so let's even the score a bit and vote on who's cuter:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prince Albert?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109788\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"680\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842-160x218.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or his cousin, King Otto?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109789\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-1020x1265.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"620\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-1020x1265.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-160x199.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-800x993.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-768x953.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-967x1200.jpg 967w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You decide!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe class=\"qp_iframe\" src=\"https://www.poll-maker.com/frame2266906xeCd0F204-65\" seamless=\"seamless\" frameborder=\"no\" style=\"border:0; background:transparent; width:100%; height:269px;\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Glad that's settled. Moving on...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam tells Victoria that blood relatives sometimes suck and deserve to be blockaded. Victoria wonders if they can drop Xenadora into the English Channel and put a bunch of ships around her so she never comes back to the palace. But, based on how Victoria's last maritime adventure went...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108907\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-drowning.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...I'd advise Vic to stick to dry land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Side note: R.I.P. Babyface Maid! I have not forgotten or forgiven that awful storyline! The writers did her as dirty as the water that gave her and her gestating baby cholera. Which reminds me that I need to get around to creating a White House petition to cast Hot Italian Chef as the next Bachelor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"504\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg 1014w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 504px) 100vw, 504px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taking advice from Lord Pam, Victoria decides that if she can't beat Xenadora, she'll just grant her favors and hope for the best. All Xenadora wants for Christmas is for her 16-year-old daughter to be presented at court. Victoria is like, \u003cem>You have a daughter\u003c/em>? Okay, I'm starting to see why Xenadora might have an issue with her little sis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at New Footman and Disney Princess' Coital Cottage, Mean Butler watches through the window as the lovebirds have their first fight. Disney Princess is concerned that her husband knows about their affair, but New Footman is like, \u003cem>Don't worry about it! Last time I hooked up with my Duchess employer, her husband just paid me to leave. No biggie! \u003c/em>So he's used the skinny-dip-to-get-their-attention, hide-your-bits-behind-a-boat-and-then-reel-'em-in-with-a-look-and-a-smile technique before!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109791\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/turns-out-im-a-slut.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feeling betrayed, Disney Princess runs away, but New Footman finds her that evening and explains: \u003cem>Sure, I slept with my boss lady to get ahead in life, but I pinky promise that I'm not using you! Wanna make out?\u003c/em> Because Disney Princess' standards are low after living with a monster for years, she immediately accepts this mediocre at best defense. Meanwhile, Mean Butler eyes his little glass of wine and his tiny coin sack, which turns out to only hold three coins. You're going to snitch and ruin lives for just three coins??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109792\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/choices-tatiana-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in Albert's study, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, wanna be the Commander in Chief so that people stop calling you a tree killer?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I don't have time for nepotism right now! Can't you see I'm busy with my random new hobby?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And later:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, guess what? I'm planning on doing a favor for Xenadora. See? I'm nice again! I promise I won't slap you across the face or throw a drink in your face or break a skull sculpture again! Now can we start having sex again?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Victoria and Xenadora pretend to like each other while shooting arrows at a target. They finally find common ground by realizing that they both hate their mother. Neat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Did this scene remind anyone of the shooting scene from \u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em> (which should have won this year's Best Picture Oscar, if you ask me!). I was waiting for something like this to happen:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109793\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/favourite-gunshot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Parliament, Lord Pam gives a fancy speech and everyone forgets he almost got the country into a needless war over one guy getting jumped. Later, he rides through the park with Victoria and explains that it doesn't matter what the papers say, as long as you have tons of confidence and no shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Bertie runs into Albert's study and says, \u003cem>Hey, dad! I can read! See, this headline says that you are bringing shame on our entire country! Yay, tutoring! \u003c/em>Albert dies a little inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different wing, Disney Princess gets a letter announcing that her son has come back from boarding school early. It's a trap! Don't go! On her way out, she and New Footman renew their vow to move to California together. Yeah, good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Victoria returns home, she finds out that Albert has given up on his hobby. She runs to tell him the news: It doesn't matter what newspapers say about them! They don't have to take in criticism! They're the ruling class and can do whatever they want!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Albert is taking an overly dramatic grumpy walk in the pouring rain. (That's exactly what I do when I can't build a multi-million dollar temporary structure that no one asked for.) Albert may or may not be crying, but he is most certainly having a full-blown existential crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109796\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/crying-rain-albert-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"426\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria finds him, apologizes for not believing in him and says, \"I married a dreamer, not a soldier!\" They embrace in the eye of the rainstorm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kiss-rain.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers, \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em> already exists. Calm down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109798\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/notebook-rain-scene-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disney World, Disney Princess comes home to find that her kid is indeed home from boarding school. So it wasn't a trap? Good for her!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109799\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-you-had-me-nervous-lc-the-hills.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a second! What's going on here? The maid rushes her son away. And Disney Villain appears with two doctors. He's putting Disney Princess in a loony bin!!! Beverly Hills 9021-Uh Oh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109800\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-lauren-conrad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Princess spits in Disney Villain's face as they drag her away. It's a full-circle moment. Remember when that memorable extra really put his back into spitting on her carriage window?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rioter-spit-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, an architect figures out a way to build a glass exhibition hall that can house the world's coolest innovations without killing trees. Huzzah! Victoria and Albert celebrate by fooling around in bed, once again ensuring that the world will have an overpopulation problem.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Disney Villain.\u003c/strong> How dare he stand in the way of the 90210 prequel we deserve?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>The Newspaper Illustrator. \u003c/strong>So prolific. So shady. Keep up the good work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Victoria. \u003c/strong>Albert used her age as a weapon and fell asleep while she was talking. Both good reasons to throw another drink in his face, but she kept it cute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: King Otto\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>For being way hotter than his cousin, Albert. I didn't want to sway the poll by mentioning my opinion, but now you know that Otto could get it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>The Abused Greek Lemons. \u003c/strong>They didn't deserve to be thrown to the ground like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This episode will make you cheer on adultery and teach you not to mess with fruit that belongs to Brits.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Bertie wished his mom was dead so he could be king and never have to go to tutoring again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-slam-door-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feodora was still shamelessly on her BS:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109628\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There was a very random gendered dance battle:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dance-off-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mommy and daddy fought:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/break-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/slap-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the royal couple use their tried-and-true method of making up and create yet another baby? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The show does open with a couple bumping uglies, but it's not Victoria and Albert this time; it's Disney Princess and New Footman! If you thought they were taking way too many risks last episode with all that, um, \"wax-spilling\" in the linen closet, you'll probably have opinions about how they've now upgraded to boinking during Footman's daytime shift! They are both the Samantha of their respective friend groups and they don't care who knows it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109783\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/samantha-sex-and-the-city.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ho-ing it up is great fun and all, but a word of warning: The Season 2 Gays only made out once or twice and we all saw what happened to them. This will not end well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if doom isn't about to smack the after-sex glow right off of them, Disney Princess and New Footman make plans to run off to California together. To be honest, I would watch that spin-off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"354\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210.jpg 354w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/90210-160x177.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 354px) 100vw, 354px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In way less exciting news, it's time for Albert to get a random new hobby that'll only last the length of one episode. Last week, it was redesigning a coin. This week, it's teaming up with some dude named Henry Cole to put on a glorified middle school science fair. Albert is so pumped about his new hobby that—in what might be a first—he cracks a joke!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I have never met a man with quite so much energy. If you want steam, get Cole!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-20490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/00FakeLaugh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, calling it a joke was generous. Here's hoping his next hobby isn't taking up stand-up comedy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Athens, Greece. Some British guy called Don Pacifico (you can't convince me this man isn't actually a Mexcian beer) was attacked. From what we see, it looks like the worst thing that happened was people came into his kitchen and threw his lemons on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109785\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/lemon-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Regardless, Lord Pam is steaming mad and wants to send a message to the world: Don't Mess With \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: line-through\">Texas\u003c/span> The Fruit of British Subjects! He advocates for a naval blockade because Britain hasn't been embroiled in enough war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, New Footman walks through the kitchen while still getting dressed after his afternoon delight. When Mean Butler calls him out on his sloppiness, New Footman snaps back, \"My appearance has always upset you. Why should today be any different?\" He's really asking for a cruel fate, huh?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Mean Butler agrees to spy on the lovebirds for Disney Villain. What does he get in return? A tiny cup of wine and an even tinier leather ball sack filled with a few coins. What a cheap date!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, the lady-in-waiting who sexed up Lord Pam back in the day warns Disney Princess to be less of a Samantha and more of a Charlotte. She shares a story about a woman who had a \"criminal conversation\" with Lord M and ended up penniless and having her children taken away. Okay, how criminal are we talking here? Why wasn't this a storyline? We have time for Albert to be obsessed with trains and toilets, but no time for this juiciness? C'mon!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109803\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/give-it-to-me-elsa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"172\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The British public freaks out over Albert and Cole's plan to host the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park. The papers call them the worst thing imaginable: TREE KILLER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1020x907.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1020x907.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-160x142.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-800x711.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-768x683.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM-1200x1067.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-8.27.51-PM.png 1550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they're not the only ones being roasted by newspaper illustrators. Lord Pam is getting a lot of negative press for risking war over spilled milk, or in this case, spilled lemons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109794\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1020x786.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"385\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1020x786.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-160x123.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-800x617.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-768x592.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM-1200x925.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-28-at-10.09.58-PM.png 1518w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Victoria is getting her fair share of criticism for giving Lord Pam carte blanche. When Albert confronts her over this, Victoria hits back by saying she wants Xenadora to go home (um, not what we were talking about, but okay). She also says this: \"You're the one who's planning to humiliate the nation with this giant gingerbread house!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Take cover, everyone! Mommy and daddy are fighting and wishing divorce was a thing in the 19th century again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"Victoria, I can tolerate Bertie because he is a child. You are a 30-year-old woman who still hasn't learned to play nicely.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"I am not a child, Albert!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"Well, stop behaving like one!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yowzers! He didn't have to throw her age out there like that! I don't like to see them bicker like this, but there is a silver lining: being at each other's throats means they're not at each other's loins making Baby #8. And for that, I am thankful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Victoria calls on Lord Pam to yell at him for doing the most with his blockade. Ever the deflecting expert, Lord Pam pretends Victoria is worried about the American pantaloon trend catching on with British women. That's enough of an excuse for me to remind everyone that Sybil was the best-dressed and coolest \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> character. That harem pants scene sparks joy and I'm keeping it in my brain forever and ever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109769\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/sybil-downton-abbey-pants.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, did y'all know \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108102/downton-abbey-is-back-watch-the-first-movie-trailer\">there's a movie coming\u003c/a>?! Her ghost better be in it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I digress...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria reprimands Lord Pam for stirring things up internationally. The King of Greece is Albert's cousin, after all! Okay, another brief time-out. We as a culture are always comparing women, so let's even the score a bit and vote on who's cuter:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prince Albert?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109788\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"680\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842.jpg 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/640px-Prince_Albert_-_Franz_Xaver_Winterhalter_1842-160x218.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or his cousin, King Otto?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109789\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-1020x1265.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"620\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-1020x1265.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-160x199.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-800x993.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-768x953.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto-967x1200.jpg 967w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/king-otto.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You decide!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe class=\"qp_iframe\" src=\"https://www.poll-maker.com/frame2266906xeCd0F204-65\" seamless=\"seamless\" frameborder=\"no\" style=\"border:0; background:transparent; width:100%; height:269px;\" width=\"100%\" height=\"500\" scrolling=\"yes\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Glad that's settled. Moving on...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam tells Victoria that blood relatives sometimes suck and deserve to be blockaded. Victoria wonders if they can drop Xenadora into the English Channel and put a bunch of ships around her so she never comes back to the palace. But, based on how Victoria's last maritime adventure went...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108907\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-drowning.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...I'd advise Vic to stick to dry land.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Side note: R.I.P. Babyface Maid! I have not forgotten or forgiven that awful storyline! The writers did her as dirty as the water that gave her and her gestating baby cholera. Which reminds me that I need to get around to creating a White House petition to cast Hot Italian Chef as the next Bachelor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"504\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria.jpg 1014w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bachelor-francatelli-victoria-768x432.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 504px) 100vw, 504px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taking advice from Lord Pam, Victoria decides that if she can't beat Xenadora, she'll just grant her favors and hope for the best. All Xenadora wants for Christmas is for her 16-year-old daughter to be presented at court. Victoria is like, \u003cem>You have a daughter\u003c/em>? Okay, I'm starting to see why Xenadora might have an issue with her little sis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at New Footman and Disney Princess' Coital Cottage, Mean Butler watches through the window as the lovebirds have their first fight. Disney Princess is concerned that her husband knows about their affair, but New Footman is like, \u003cem>Don't worry about it! Last time I hooked up with my Duchess employer, her husband just paid me to leave. No biggie! \u003c/em>So he's used the skinny-dip-to-get-their-attention, hide-your-bits-behind-a-boat-and-then-reel-'em-in-with-a-look-and-a-smile technique before!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109791\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/turns-out-im-a-slut.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feeling betrayed, Disney Princess runs away, but New Footman finds her that evening and explains: \u003cem>Sure, I slept with my boss lady to get ahead in life, but I pinky promise that I'm not using you! Wanna make out?\u003c/em> Because Disney Princess' standards are low after living with a monster for years, she immediately accepts this mediocre at best defense. Meanwhile, Mean Butler eyes his little glass of wine and his tiny coin sack, which turns out to only hold three coins. You're going to snitch and ruin lives for just three coins??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109792\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/choices-tatiana-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in Albert's study, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, wanna be the Commander in Chief so that people stop calling you a tree killer?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I don't have time for nepotism right now! Can't you see I'm busy with my random new hobby?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And later:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, guess what? I'm planning on doing a favor for Xenadora. See? I'm nice again! I promise I won't slap you across the face or throw a drink in your face or break a skull sculpture again! Now can we start having sex again?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Victoria and Xenadora pretend to like each other while shooting arrows at a target. They finally find common ground by realizing that they both hate their mother. Neat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Did this scene remind anyone of the shooting scene from \u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em> (which should have won this year's Best Picture Oscar, if you ask me!). I was waiting for something like this to happen:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109793\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/favourite-gunshot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Parliament, Lord Pam gives a fancy speech and everyone forgets he almost got the country into a needless war over one guy getting jumped. Later, he rides through the park with Victoria and explains that it doesn't matter what the papers say, as long as you have tons of confidence and no shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Bertie runs into Albert's study and says, \u003cem>Hey, dad! I can read! See, this headline says that you are bringing shame on our entire country! Yay, tutoring! \u003c/em>Albert dies a little inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different wing, Disney Princess gets a letter announcing that her son has come back from boarding school early. It's a trap! Don't go! On her way out, she and New Footman renew their vow to move to California together. Yeah, good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Victoria returns home, she finds out that Albert has given up on his hobby. She runs to tell him the news: It doesn't matter what newspapers say about them! They don't have to take in criticism! They're the ruling class and can do whatever they want!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Albert is taking an overly dramatic grumpy walk in the pouring rain. (That's exactly what I do when I can't build a multi-million dollar temporary structure that no one asked for.) Albert may or may not be crying, but he is most certainly having a full-blown existential crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109796\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/crying-rain-albert-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"426\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria finds him, apologizes for not believing in him and says, \"I married a dreamer, not a soldier!\" They embrace in the eye of the rainstorm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/kiss-rain.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers, \u003cem>The Notebook\u003c/em> already exists. Calm down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109798\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/notebook-rain-scene-kiss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disney World, Disney Princess comes home to find that her kid is indeed home from boarding school. So it wasn't a trap? Good for her!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109799\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-you-had-me-nervous-lc-the-hills.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a second! What's going on here? The maid rushes her son away. And Disney Villain appears with two doctors. He's putting Disney Princess in a loony bin!!! Beverly Hills 9021-Uh Oh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109800\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/oh-lauren-conrad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Princess spits in Disney Villain's face as they drag her away. It's a full-circle moment. Remember when that memorable extra really put his back into spitting on her carriage window?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/rioter-spit-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"420\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, an architect figures out a way to build a glass exhibition hall that can house the world's coolest innovations without killing trees. Huzzah! Victoria and Albert celebrate by fooling around in bed, once again ensuring that the world will have an overpopulation problem.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Disney Villain.\u003c/strong> How dare he stand in the way of the 90210 prequel we deserve?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>The Newspaper Illustrator. \u003c/strong>So prolific. So shady. Keep up the good work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Victoria. \u003c/strong>Albert used her age as a weapon and fell asleep while she was talking. Both good reasons to throw another drink in his face, but she kept it cute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: King Otto\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>For being way hotter than his cousin, Albert. I didn't want to sway the poll by mentioning my opinion, but now you know that Otto could get it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>The Abused Greek Lemons. \u003c/strong>They didn't deserve to be thrown to the ground like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "From the Bronx to Showtime, Desus & Mero are Remaking Late-Night",
"title": "From the Bronx to Showtime, Desus & Mero are Remaking Late-Night",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>When Desus and Mero stopped by NPR's New York bureau the day after their buzzy new late-night talk show debuted on Showtime, they were still taking it all in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're still a little hungover from the premiere party,\" says Daniel Baker, also known as Desus Nice. Joel Martinez, or The Kid Mero, chimes in, \"I can barely speak, I'm so exhausted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y_ewZm7mYc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an interview with NPR's Michel Martin, the comedy duo say they can hardly believe their newfound success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're asking me if five years ago \u003ca href=\"https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/02/desus-and-mero-showtime-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-review\">Vanity Fair\u003c/a> would've called me handsome?\" Mero says, dismissing the idea offhand with a profanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"medium\" citation=\"Desus Nice\"]\"Yo, is this for real?' I'm starting to feel a little afraid, like this might just be like a really long dream.\"[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus adds, \"Definitely last night was one of those moments like in a movie where you sit around just staring at everything, trying to take it in like, 'Yo, is this for real?' I'm starting to feel a little afraid, like this might just be like a really long dream.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Like I'm just going to wake up out of a Xanax nap in the White Castle on Fordham Road,\" Mero says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They throw the joke back and forth, serving and returning banter in a style they call \"joke tennis.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the crowded field of late-night talk show hosts, Desus and Mero are unlike any other. Their irreverent comedy is anchored in their Bronx upbringing, and the two have an informal familiarity with their interview subjects—whether it be rapper \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-EX8QdZuIM\">Diddy\u003c/a> or former attorney general \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02G94-rIFbQ\">Eric Holder\u003c/a> or New York Senator and Democratic presidential hopeful \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48JVpAmbaXQ\">Kirsten Gillibrand\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both on their new show—and on its predecessor, which aired on VICELAND—they've ditched the typical uniforms of late-night hosts. Instead of suits, they wear hoodies, hats and sneakers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"large\" citation=\"Desus Nice\"]\"We just want to keep things as light and off-the-cuff as possible.\"[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's like a looseness to it,\" Mero says. \"We just want to keep things as light and off-the-cuff as possible ... you're not getting that anywhere else on late-night.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Our show is like a deconstructed late-night show,\" Desus adds. \"What you see on our show hopefully you won't see on any other show—and shoutout to Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon—we know those guys and we've done their show, and there is definitely a market for it, but the show has been done so many times, you know the format: monologue, house band, guest one. While that works, there has to be some sort of change or a different option on late-night and that's what we're trying to deliver on our show.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their rapid-fire humor was honed in New York City public schools, where they met in summer school before reconnecting on Twitter years later. The two bonded over a shared hatred of their monotonous jobs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus calls their high/low brand of humor \"very New York.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That's the tradition in New York City public schools,\" he says. \"You have to learn how to be really quick and fast and you roast people. And ... we do have very eclectic backgrounds. I was working at a financial magazine, so I probably know more about tax forms than the average person. So stuff like that you can work into your riffs and people appreciate that. We're able to be like, 'Oh this reminds me of the treaty of Versailles,' or something like that. You could just really mix it up with people and they're like, 'Wow, this isn't all just hood jokes about drugs and guns. There is a level of intellect here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKee99e6xGs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With their first in-studio guest, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., they had the chance to flex both their Bronx bona fides and their ability to pull off a substantive interview with a newsmaker. After asking about the Green New Deal and Twitter trolls, the two \u003ca href=\"https://youtu.be/TgYJgM9pFaA?t=1364\">paid a visit to the congresswoman's D.C. office on Capitol Hill\u003c/a> where they gifted her some reminders of the Bronx, including a rack of plantain chips and a Puerto Rican flag. They left a pair of sneakers hanging by the laces on the chandelier on the ceiling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We call it late-night for the people, because there's a demographic of people who do not see themselves represented in late-night or don't see the comedy and information they want represented in late-night, so we're trying to deliver that,\" Desus says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[pullquote size=\"small\" citation=\"Desus Nice\"]\"We call it late-night for the people, because there's a demographic of people who do not see themselves represented in late-night or don't see the comedy and information they want represented in late-night, so we're trying to deliver that.\"[/pullquote]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say they don't worry about suffering the same fate as Arsenio Hall, Larry Wilmore or W. Kamau Bell—other comedians of color who attempted to bring a different aesthetic to late-night, whose shows were short-lived or eventually canceled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think those people were kind of brought up in the framework of Hollywood, being writers, being in writers' rooms, working under the structure of Hollywood,\" Mero says. \"And you could be super talented, super funny, super smart ... But if you're working within these constraints ... you're still kind of doing the same thing that the other people are doing. It's just that you're not white.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus says another advantage they have is in how their show is marketed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Our show has never been advertised as a show for black people,\" he says. \"Yes, I happen to be Jamaican. He happens to be Dominican ... But if you watched the first episode, the jokes weren't so coded in Ebonics that you couldn't understand. They're very accessible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say their families, who previously took little interest in what they did for a living, are slowly coming around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"My father texted me last night,\" Desus says. \"He was like, 'I laughed during your show,' which doesn't sound like a lot. But he's gone from not acknowledging I was on TV to actually being excited for the Showtime show ... He's like an older Jamaican man—they don't laugh at anything except like if the price of heating oil comes down. So for him to laugh at last night's show means the world.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mero, who often imitates his family's Dominican accent to great comic effect, says his father remains \"confused\" about his line of work, but the rest of the family is impressed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"My cousin sent me a video of all my old uncles sitting huddled around the TV watching the show last night, and I was just like, 'Wow!'\" he says. \"All that making fun of them and impersonating them when I was like 6 years old paid off. \"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=From+The+Bronx+To+Cable+Stardom%2C+Desus+And+Mero+Are+Remaking+Late-Night&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When Desus and Mero stopped by NPR's New York bureau the day after their buzzy new late-night talk show debuted on Showtime, they were still taking it all in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We're still a little hungover from the premiere party,\" says Daniel Baker, also known as Desus Nice. Joel Martinez, or The Kid Mero, chimes in, \"I can barely speak, I'm so exhausted.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/4y_ewZm7mYc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/4y_ewZm7mYc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In an interview with NPR's Michel Martin, the comedy duo say they can hardly believe their newfound success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're asking me if five years ago \u003ca href=\"https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/02/desus-and-mero-showtime-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-review\">Vanity Fair\u003c/a> would've called me handsome?\" Mero says, dismissing the idea offhand with a profanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus adds, \"Definitely last night was one of those moments like in a movie where you sit around just staring at everything, trying to take it in like, 'Yo, is this for real?' I'm starting to feel a little afraid, like this might just be like a really long dream.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Like I'm just going to wake up out of a Xanax nap in the White Castle on Fordham Road,\" Mero says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They throw the joke back and forth, serving and returning banter in a style they call \"joke tennis.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the crowded field of late-night talk show hosts, Desus and Mero are unlike any other. Their irreverent comedy is anchored in their Bronx upbringing, and the two have an informal familiarity with their interview subjects—whether it be rapper \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-EX8QdZuIM\">Diddy\u003c/a> or former attorney general \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02G94-rIFbQ\">Eric Holder\u003c/a> or New York Senator and Democratic presidential hopeful \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48JVpAmbaXQ\">Kirsten Gillibrand\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Both on their new show—and on its predecessor, which aired on VICELAND—they've ditched the typical uniforms of late-night hosts. Instead of suits, they wear hoodies, hats and sneakers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's like a looseness to it,\" Mero says. \"We just want to keep things as light and off-the-cuff as possible ... you're not getting that anywhere else on late-night.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Our show is like a deconstructed late-night show,\" Desus adds. \"What you see on our show hopefully you won't see on any other show—and shoutout to Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon—we know those guys and we've done their show, and there is definitely a market for it, but the show has been done so many times, you know the format: monologue, house band, guest one. While that works, there has to be some sort of change or a different option on late-night and that's what we're trying to deliver on our show.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their rapid-fire humor was honed in New York City public schools, where they met in summer school before reconnecting on Twitter years later. The two bonded over a shared hatred of their monotonous jobs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus calls their high/low brand of humor \"very New York.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That's the tradition in New York City public schools,\" he says. \"You have to learn how to be really quick and fast and you roast people. And ... we do have very eclectic backgrounds. I was working at a financial magazine, so I probably know more about tax forms than the average person. So stuff like that you can work into your riffs and people appreciate that. We're able to be like, 'Oh this reminds me of the treaty of Versailles,' or something like that. You could just really mix it up with people and they're like, 'Wow, this isn't all just hood jokes about drugs and guns. There is a level of intellect here.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/fKee99e6xGs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/fKee99e6xGs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>With their first in-studio guest, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., they had the chance to flex both their Bronx bona fides and their ability to pull off a substantive interview with a newsmaker. After asking about the Green New Deal and Twitter trolls, the two \u003ca href=\"https://youtu.be/TgYJgM9pFaA?t=1364\">paid a visit to the congresswoman's D.C. office on Capitol Hill\u003c/a> where they gifted her some reminders of the Bronx, including a rack of plantain chips and a Puerto Rican flag. They left a pair of sneakers hanging by the laces on the chandelier on the ceiling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We call it late-night for the people, because there's a demographic of people who do not see themselves represented in late-night or don't see the comedy and information they want represented in late-night, so we're trying to deliver that,\" Desus says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say they don't worry about suffering the same fate as Arsenio Hall, Larry Wilmore or W. Kamau Bell—other comedians of color who attempted to bring a different aesthetic to late-night, whose shows were short-lived or eventually canceled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think those people were kind of brought up in the framework of Hollywood, being writers, being in writers' rooms, working under the structure of Hollywood,\" Mero says. \"And you could be super talented, super funny, super smart ... But if you're working within these constraints ... you're still kind of doing the same thing that the other people are doing. It's just that you're not white.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Desus says another advantage they have is in how their show is marketed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Our show has never been advertised as a show for black people,\" he says. \"Yes, I happen to be Jamaican. He happens to be Dominican ... But if you watched the first episode, the jokes weren't so coded in Ebonics that you couldn't understand. They're very accessible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say their families, who previously took little interest in what they did for a living, are slowly coming around.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"My father texted me last night,\" Desus says. \"He was like, 'I laughed during your show,' which doesn't sound like a lot. But he's gone from not acknowledging I was on TV to actually being excited for the Showtime show ... He's like an older Jamaican man—they don't laugh at anything except like if the price of heating oil comes down. So for him to laugh at last night's show means the world.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mero, who often imitates his family's Dominican accent to great comic effect, says his father remains \"confused\" about his line of work, but the rest of the family is impressed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "Oscars 2019: What Trevor Noah Really Said in His 'Black Panther' Joke",
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"content": "\u003cp>While presenting the montage for best picture nominee \u003cem>Black Panther,\u003c/em> \u003cem>Daily Show \u003c/em>host Trevor Noah made a joke in Xhosa, a language spoken by millions in South Africa and in a few other African countries as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjYsTQvOvDw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After noting that people all over the world shout out \"Wakanda forever\" to him—referring to the fictional African nation in the movie—Noah said: \"Growing up as a young boy in Wakanda, I would see King T'Challa flying over our village, and he would remind me of a great Xhosa phrase: '\u003cem>Abelungu abazi ubu ndiyaxoka,'\u003c/em> which means, 'In times like these, we are stronger when we fight together than when we try to fight apart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The audience applauded.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What it really means: \"White people don't know I'm lying.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/makhondlovu/status/1099858181973524480\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(In case you're wondering, Xhosa is pronounced with a click \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trq_gIe1v04\">like this\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many South Africans loved the inside joke, says Lihle Ninie Sasa, 24, a South African college student who lives in Cape Town and is a Xhosa speaker. \"We love Trevor. South Africans call him the 'national treasure,' \" she says. \"Using IsiXhosa [another way to refer to the language] at the Oscars was really cool.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are some quibbles about his use of\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2016/11/22/503009220/trevor-noah-looks-back-on-childhood-in-the-shadow-of-a-giant-his-mom\"> African languages\u003c/a> in \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baEiWB2aM9Y\">his comedy bits\u003c/a>, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He knows that speaking in a language full of clicks and sounds that Westerners generally won't ever hear will evoke a sort of fascination. Some feel like he exploits this,\" writes Zanie Ferreira, 28, a corporate intelligence analyst from Cape Town, via Twitter direct message. She is a white South African and does not speak Xhosa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she thinks the Oscars joke worked: \"He knew only a small portion of people will get it. I think that's clever, and the reaction of the crowd was exactly what made it funny.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ferreira likes that Noah represented her country at the largely Western event.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Diversity in nationalities [at the Oscars] is long overdue. Add in a foreign language, spoken ... in the global south, and that's pretty special,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noah's phrase even sparked a trending hashtag on social media in South Africa, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/KodwaAbayaziNdiyaXoka?src=hash\">\u003cstrong>#\u003c/strong>KodwaAbayaziNdiyaXoka\u003c/a>. It means \"but they don't know that I'm lying,\" says college student Sasa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She is a participant in the meme. Her contribution? What she says to boys when they ask for her number.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/Ninie_Sasa/status/1100039988236963841\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Others joined in on the fun—sharing phrases that sound like one thing but actually mean something else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/CousamaO3/status/1100021912254799874\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/CousamaO3/status/1100005864537247744\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P.S. King T'Challa really can't fly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Oscars+2019%3A+What+Trevor+Noah+Really+Said+In+His+%27Black+Panther%27+Joke+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>While presenting the montage for best picture nominee \u003cem>Black Panther,\u003c/em> \u003cem>Daily Show \u003c/em>host Trevor Noah made a joke in Xhosa, a language spoken by millions in South Africa and in a few other African countries as well.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/RjYsTQvOvDw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/RjYsTQvOvDw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>After noting that people all over the world shout out \"Wakanda forever\" to him—referring to the fictional African nation in the movie—Noah said: \"Growing up as a young boy in Wakanda, I would see King T'Challa flying over our village, and he would remind me of a great Xhosa phrase: '\u003cem>Abelungu abazi ubu ndiyaxoka,'\u003c/em> which means, 'In times like these, we are stronger when we fight together than when we try to fight apart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The audience applauded.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What it really means: \"White people don't know I'm lying.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>(In case you're wondering, Xhosa is pronounced with a click \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trq_gIe1v04\">like this\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many South Africans loved the inside joke, says Lihle Ninie Sasa, 24, a South African college student who lives in Cape Town and is a Xhosa speaker. \"We love Trevor. South Africans call him the 'national treasure,' \" she says. \"Using IsiXhosa [another way to refer to the language] at the Oscars was really cool.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are some quibbles about his use of\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2016/11/22/503009220/trevor-noah-looks-back-on-childhood-in-the-shadow-of-a-giant-his-mom\"> African languages\u003c/a> in \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baEiWB2aM9Y\">his comedy bits\u003c/a>, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He knows that speaking in a language full of clicks and sounds that Westerners generally won't ever hear will evoke a sort of fascination. Some feel like he exploits this,\" writes Zanie Ferreira, 28, a corporate intelligence analyst from Cape Town, via Twitter direct message. She is a white South African and does not speak Xhosa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she thinks the Oscars joke worked: \"He knew only a small portion of people will get it. I think that's clever, and the reaction of the crowd was exactly what made it funny.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ferreira likes that Noah represented her country at the largely Western event.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Diversity in nationalities [at the Oscars] is long overdue. Add in a foreign language, spoken ... in the global south, and that's pretty special,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Noah's phrase even sparked a trending hashtag on social media in South Africa, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/hashtag/KodwaAbayaziNdiyaXoka?src=hash\">\u003cstrong>#\u003c/strong>KodwaAbayaziNdiyaXoka\u003c/a>. It means \"but they don't know that I'm lying,\" says college student Sasa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She is a participant in the meme. Her contribution? What she says to boys when they ask for her number.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Others joined in on the fun—sharing phrases that sound like one thing but actually mean something else.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P.S. King T'Challa really can't fly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Oscars+2019%3A+What+Trevor+Noah+Really+Said+In+His+%27Black+Panther%27+Joke+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Updated at 11:36 p.m. EST\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Director Peter Farrelly's \u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>, about a black musician (played by Mahershala Ali) touring the segregated South with a white chauffeur (Viggo Mortensen), won the 2019 Oscar for best picture. The film also won for supporting actor (Ali) and original screenplay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Below is the full list of Academy Award winners, marked in bold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best picture\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003cbr>\nBlack Panther\u003cbr>\nBohemian Rhapsody\u003cbr>\nThe Favourite\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>*Green Book\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nRoma\u003cbr>\nA Star Is Born\u003cbr>\nVice\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Directing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spike Lee (\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nPaweł Pawlikowski (\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nYorgos Lanthimos (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Alfonso Cuarón (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nAdam McKay (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actress in a leading role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yalitza Aparicio (\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nGlenn Close (\u003cem>The Wife\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*Olivia Colman (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nLady Gaga (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nMelissa McCarthy (\u003cem>Can You Ever Forgive Me?\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actor in a leading role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Christian Bale (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nBradley Cooper (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nWillem Dafoe (\u003cem>At Eternity's Gate\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*Rami Malek (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nViggo Mortensen (\u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actress in a supporting role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Amy Adams (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nMarina de Tavira (\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Regina King (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>If Beale Street Could Talk\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nEmma Stone (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRachel Weisz (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actor in a supporting role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Mahershala Ali (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nAdam Driver (\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSam Elliott (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRichard E. Grant (\u003cem>Can You Ever Forgive Me?\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSam Rockwell (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Animated feature film\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Incredibles 2\u003cbr>\nIsle Of Dogs\u003cbr>\nMirai\u003cbr>\nRalph Breaks The Internet\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cinematography\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Łukasz Żal (\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRobbie Ryan (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nCaleb Deschanel \u003cem>(Never Look Away)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Alfonso Cuarón\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem> (Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Matthew Libatique \u003cem>(A Star Is Born)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Costume design\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary Zophres \u003cem>(The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ruth Carter (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Black Panther\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nSandy Powell (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSandy Powell (\u003cem>Mary Poppins Returns\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nAlexandra Byrne \u003cem>(Mary Queen Of Scots)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Documentary (feature)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>*Free Solo\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nHale County This Morning, This Evening\u003cbr>\nMinding The Gap\u003cbr>\nOf Fathers And Sons\u003cbr>\nRBG\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Documentary (short subject)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Black Sheep\u003cbr>\nEnd Game\u003cbr>\nLifeboat\u003cbr>\nA Night At The Garden\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Period. End of Sentence.\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Film editing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nThe Favourite\u003cbr>\nGreen Book\u003cbr>\nVice\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Foreign language film\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Capernaum \u003c/em>(Lebanon)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em> (Poland)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Never Look Away\u003c/em> (Germany)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Roma \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>(Mexico)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Shoplifters \u003c/em>(Japan)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Makeup and hairstyling\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Göran Lundström and Pamela Goldammer\u003cem> (Border)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Jenny Shircore, Marc Pilcher, and Jessica Brooks (\u003cem>Mary Queen Of Scots\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia DeHaney (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Music (original score)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Ludwig Göransson (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Black Panther)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Terence Blanchard\u003cem> (BlacKkKlansman)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Nicholas Britell \u003cem>(If Beale Street Could Talk)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Alexandre Desplat\u003cem> (Isle of Dogs)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Marc Shaiman \u003cem>(Mary Poppins Returns)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Music (original song)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings\" by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch (\u003cem>The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"All The Stars\" by Mark Spears (aka Sounwave), Kendrick Lamar Duckworth and Anthony Tiffith, Anthony Tiffith and Solana Rowe (aka SZA) (\u003cem>Black Panther\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"The Place Where Lost Things Go\" by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (\u003cem>Mary Poppins Returns\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"I'll Fight\" by Diane Warren (\u003cem>RBG\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*\"Shallow\" by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando and Andrew Wyatt (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Production design\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Hannah Beachler and Jay Hart \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(Black Panther)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Fiona Crombie and Alice Felton \u003cem>(The Favourite)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Nathan Crowley and Kathy Lucas \u003cem>(First Man)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>John Myhre and Gordon Sim \u003cem>(Mary Poppins Returns)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Eugenio Caballero and Bárbara Enríquez \u003cem>(Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Short film (animated)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Animal Behaviour\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bao\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nLate Afternoon\u003cbr>\nOne Small Step\u003cbr>\nWeekends\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Short film (live action)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Detainment\u003cbr>\nFauve\u003cbr>\nMarguerite\u003cbr>\nMother\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Skin\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sound editing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan \u003cem>(First Man)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Benjamin Burtt and Steve Boeddeker \u003cem>(Black Panther)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>John Warhurst and Nina Hartstone \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(Bohemian Rhapsody)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl \u003cem>(A Quiet Place)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Sergio Díaz and Skip Lievsay \u003cem>(Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sound mixing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Black Panther\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nFirst Man\u003cbr>\nRoma\u003cbr>\nA Star Is Born\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Visual effects\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dan DeLeeuw, Kelly Port, Russell Earl and Daniel Sudick\u003cem> (Avengers: Infinity War)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Christopher Lawrence, Michael Eames, Theo Jones and Chris Corbould \u003cem>(Christopher Robin)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Paul Lambert, Ian Hunter, Tristan Myles and J.D. 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To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Oscars+2019%3A+The+Complete+List&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "'Green Book' took home the award for best picture at the 91st Academy Awards. See the complete list of winners, including the recipients for directing, best actor and best actress.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Updated at 11:36 p.m. EST\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Director Peter Farrelly's \u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>, about a black musician (played by Mahershala Ali) touring the segregated South with a white chauffeur (Viggo Mortensen), won the 2019 Oscar for best picture. The film also won for supporting actor (Ali) and original screenplay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Below is the full list of Academy Award winners, marked in bold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best picture\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003cbr>\nBlack Panther\u003cbr>\nBohemian Rhapsody\u003cbr>\nThe Favourite\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>*Green Book\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nRoma\u003cbr>\nA Star Is Born\u003cbr>\nVice\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Directing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spike Lee (\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nPaweł Pawlikowski (\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nYorgos Lanthimos (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Alfonso Cuarón (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nAdam McKay (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actress in a leading role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yalitza Aparicio (\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nGlenn Close (\u003cem>The Wife\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*Olivia Colman (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nLady Gaga (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nMelissa McCarthy (\u003cem>Can You Ever Forgive Me?\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actor in a leading role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Christian Bale (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nBradley Cooper (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nWillem Dafoe (\u003cem>At Eternity's Gate\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*Rami Malek (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nViggo Mortensen (\u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actress in a supporting role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Amy Adams (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nMarina de Tavira (\u003cem>Roma\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Regina King (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>If Beale Street Could Talk\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nEmma Stone (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRachel Weisz (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Actor in a supporting role\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Mahershala Ali (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Green Book\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nAdam Driver (\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSam Elliott (\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRichard E. Grant (\u003cem>Can You Ever Forgive Me?\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSam Rockwell (\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Animated feature film\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Incredibles 2\u003cbr>\nIsle Of Dogs\u003cbr>\nMirai\u003cbr>\nRalph Breaks The Internet\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cinematography\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Łukasz Żal (\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nRobbie Ryan (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nCaleb Deschanel \u003cem>(Never Look Away)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Alfonso Cuarón\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem> (Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Matthew Libatique \u003cem>(A Star Is Born)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Costume design\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary Zophres \u003cem>(The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ruth Carter (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Black Panther\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\nSandy Powell (\u003cem>The Favourite\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nSandy Powell (\u003cem>Mary Poppins Returns\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\nAlexandra Byrne \u003cem>(Mary Queen Of Scots)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Documentary (feature)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>*Free Solo\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nHale County This Morning, This Evening\u003cbr>\nMinding The Gap\u003cbr>\nOf Fathers And Sons\u003cbr>\nRBG\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Documentary (short subject)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Black Sheep\u003cbr>\nEnd Game\u003cbr>\nLifeboat\u003cbr>\nA Night At The Garden\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Period. End of Sentence.\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Film editing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>BlacKkKlansman\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nThe Favourite\u003cbr>\nGreen Book\u003cbr>\nVice\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Foreign language film\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Capernaum \u003c/em>(Lebanon)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Cold War\u003c/em> (Poland)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Never Look Away\u003c/em> (Germany)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Roma \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>(Mexico)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Shoplifters \u003c/em>(Japan)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Makeup and hairstyling\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Göran Lundström and Pamela Goldammer\u003cem> (Border)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Jenny Shircore, Marc Pilcher, and Jessica Brooks (\u003cem>Mary Queen Of Scots\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n*\u003cstrong>Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe, and Patricia DeHaney (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Music (original score)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Ludwig Göransson (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Black Panther)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Terence Blanchard\u003cem> (BlacKkKlansman)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Nicholas Britell \u003cem>(If Beale Street Could Talk)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Alexandre Desplat\u003cem> (Isle of Dogs)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Marc Shaiman \u003cem>(Mary Poppins Returns)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Music (original song)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings\" by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch (\u003cem>The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"All The Stars\" by Mark Spears (aka Sounwave), Kendrick Lamar Duckworth and Anthony Tiffith, Anthony Tiffith and Solana Rowe (aka SZA) (\u003cem>Black Panther\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"The Place Where Lost Things Go\" by Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (\u003cem>Mary Poppins Returns\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\"I'll Fight\" by Diane Warren (\u003cem>RBG\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\n\u003cstrong>*\"Shallow\" by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando and Andrew Wyatt (\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Production design\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>*Hannah Beachler and Jay Hart \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(Black Panther)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Fiona Crombie and Alice Felton \u003cem>(The Favourite)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Nathan Crowley and Kathy Lucas \u003cem>(First Man)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>John Myhre and Gordon Sim \u003cem>(Mary Poppins Returns)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Eugenio Caballero and Bárbara Enríquez \u003cem>(Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Short film (animated)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Animal Behaviour\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bao\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nLate Afternoon\u003cbr>\nOne Small Step\u003cbr>\nWeekends\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Short film (live action)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Detainment\u003cbr>\nFauve\u003cbr>\nMarguerite\u003cbr>\nMother\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Skin\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sound editing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan \u003cem>(First Man)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Benjamin Burtt and Steve Boeddeker \u003cem>(Black Panther)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>John Warhurst and Nina Hartstone \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(Bohemian Rhapsody)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Ethan Van der Ryn and Erik Aadahl \u003cem>(A Quiet Place)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Sergio Díaz and Skip Lievsay \u003cem>(Roma)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sound mixing\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Black Panther\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bohemian Rhapsody\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\nFirst Man\u003cbr>\nRoma\u003cbr>\nA Star Is Born\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Visual effects\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dan DeLeeuw, Kelly Port, Russell Earl and Daniel Sudick\u003cem> (Avengers: Infinity War)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Christopher Lawrence, Michael Eames, Theo Jones and Chris Corbould \u003cem>(Christopher Robin)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Paul Lambert, Ian Hunter, Tristan Myles and J.D. Schwalm \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(First Man)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Roger Guyett, Grady Cofer, Matthew Butler and David Shirk \u003cem>(Ready Player One)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Rob Bredow, Patrick Tubach, Neal Scanlan and Dominic Tuohy \u003cem>(Solo: A Star Wars Story)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Writing (adapted screenplay)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Joel Coen and Ethan Coen \u003cem>(The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott and Spike Lee \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(BlacKkKlansman)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty \u003cem>(Can You Ever Forgive Me?)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Barry Jenkins \u003cem>(If Beale Street Could Talk)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper and Will Fetters \u003cem>(A Star Is Born)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Writing (original screenplay)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara \u003cem>(The Favourite)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Paul Schrader \u003cem>(First Reformed)\u003cbr>\n*\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>(Green Book)\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Alfonso Cuarón \u003cem>(Roma)\u003cbr>\n\u003c/em>Adam McKay \u003cem>(Vice)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Oscars+2019%3A+The+Complete+List&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Surviving R. Kelly' Producer Dream Hampton Takes on Ecosystem That Supported the Star",
"title": "'Surviving R. Kelly' Producer Dream Hampton Takes on Ecosystem That Supported the Star",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Last week, reports surfaced of a \u003ca href=\"https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/18/entertainment/r-kelly-grand-jury-seated/index.html\">new videotape\u003c/a> showing singer \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/artists/156679430/r-kelly\">R. Kelly\u003c/a> engaging in sex acts with an underage girl. This is not the first time the R&B superstar has been accused of sexual abuse. Allegations have circled Kelly for decades; in 2002, a videotape surfaced that purportedly showed Kelly engaging in sexual acts with a teenage girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until recently, the accusations did not seem to significantly impact Kelly's career. Though Kelly was indicted in 2002 on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/11/683936629/r-kelly-allegations-an-abridged-history#indictment\">21 counts of child pornography\u003c/a>, a Chicago jury later acquitted him of all charges in 2008.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But activist, filmmaker and writer dream hampton isn't about to let Kelly off the hook. hampton executive produced \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em>, a six-part docuseries focusing on Kelly's alleged victims and their family members. hampton says the series, which first premiered on Lifetime on Jan. 3, is currently streaming on \u003ca href=\"https://www.mylifetime.com/\">Lifetime's website \u003c/a>and will re-air on Feb. 25, is about \"centering the women.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrJvDouqb_s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>hampton describes an \"ecosystem\" that has supported and enabled Kelly over the years—at the expense of black women. \"There's a record industry that continued to do business with him in small and big ways,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But hampton hopes that the tide is finally turning. She notes that the grassroots \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/16/685912752/the-muterkelly-movement-takes-its-protest-to-the-steps-of-his-record-label\">#muterkelly \u003c/a>movement has raised awareness in the music industry and helped limit the radio play of Kelly's songs. Since the series aired, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/18/686641970/r-kelly-has-been-dropped-by-rca-records-billboard-reports\">Sony Music dropped\u003c/a> Kelly and Spotify downgraded him. Still, hampton says, \"we've seen five million streams of his music happen directly after the docuseries aired, and we saw two of his songs re-chart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/695083431/696326012\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On allegations against R. Kelly being well-known in his hometown of Chicago\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's really well-known in Chicago, for generations ... He would cruise McDonald's near high schools and have someone from his team go up to a girl, get her number and she didn't have to be anything. She didn't have to have long hair or short hair. [She could] be light skinned or dark skinned and have a great body or a bad one. All she had to be was young. And so, we have lots of evidence of him cruising not only McDonald's, but then also his old high school, Kenwood Academy, which was a kind of school that was renowned for its excellent music program and choir. Sometimes as a guest sometimes just as a drop-in, he would cruise girls at his high school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the videotape that allegedly showed Kelly sexually abusing a teenage girl\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't watch it until I began making this docuseries. ... I avoided it because I thought it to be child porn just from the descriptions. But when I actually saw it, it had nothing to do with sex. It was all about barking commands at and humiliating and degrading this young, young girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She appears to be prepubescent, but we later learned that she was Sparkle's niece, and there was whole trial about that case. Sparkle was an R&B singer who lived in the studio. She was being mentored by R. Kelly. He was producing and writing her album. So, he met that victim because her aunt lived in the studio, as one does when one's recording an album, and her family, who were a family of musicians, would come by. He met her, Sparkle says, as early as 12.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On criticism that the survivors didn't go to the police \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That confounds me, especially coming from black people. I really didn't know until I started reading these tweets directed at me and some of the survivors that we had some fantasy about there being some vice squad dedicated to kind of busting down doors for black girls and to save black girls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also have testimony ... about the Chicago Police Department giving R. Kelly a heads up when one of the parents, for instance, had convinced the police to do a wellness check on their daughter. At this point, she was over 18. They couldn't really make a claim, but they begged the police to at least check on their daughter and make sure that she was okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone in the Chicago Police Department—likely someone who worked security on their off-duty hours—called him, and told him it was happening. And they got the studio ready and got the girls out of the studio before the police arrived.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On a pattern in the black community of protecting black men at the expense of black women \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We know that this system is unfair to black people—not just black men, but black people. We often rhetorically talk about black men being targeted and treated unfairly and abused in the criminal justice system—but it's black people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We know what this system does to us, right? So to turn to that system for justice is itself an oxymoron. But at the same time, we have a knee-jerk reaction to protect black men, always at the expense of black women. People like bell hooks and black feminists before me have written about this and talked about this and done scholarship about this, but nothing has changed about this. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So this is something that we see generation after generation, and R. Kelly has a particular kind of love, which acts as a currency in the black community. He is singularly an R&B artist. He makes black music for black people ... and he has used that love as a cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On R. Kelly being sexually abused himself as a child \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What R. Kelly was as a child was raped and molested. He uses the word \"molested.\" ... So he has some kind of understanding. ... [People on his team] knew that he was abused. Many of them there were Chicago-based people who knew that family members had been abusing him as a child. That's deep trauma that needs real healing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm not saying that at 52, which is the age R. Kelly is right now, when he has two very young women living with him, whose parents are looking for them, that there's some magical age when you are supposed to have a healing, because many people don't heal their entire lifetimes. I have childhood trauma that I'm still trying to heal and I'm five years younger than R. Kelly. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's cliché to say, but almost all abusers have been abused, but not all people who have been abused become abusers. So there comes a time when R. Kelly is absolutely responsible for the harm that he's caused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On why she wants to do this work \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I started writing about hip-hop as a 19-year-old film student in New York, I was calling out the misogyny and the violence against women. And I'm sad to say I don't feel that there's been too much progress made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I come from all-black Detroit city and I live and breathe in black spaces. And I want them to be safe not just for my daughter and me, but [also for] black women who don't want that safety for themselves, who've internalized the misogyny and don't \u003cem>think\u003c/em> that they deserve the safety and justice that they deserve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Heidi Saman and Thea Chaloner produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Sidney Madden adapted it for the Web. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 Fresh Air. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/\">Fresh Air\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Surviving+R.+Kelly%27+Producer+Dream+Hampton+Takes+On+Ecosystem+That+Supported+The+Star&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Last week, reports surfaced of a \u003ca href=\"https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/18/entertainment/r-kelly-grand-jury-seated/index.html\">new videotape\u003c/a> showing singer \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/artists/156679430/r-kelly\">R. Kelly\u003c/a> engaging in sex acts with an underage girl. This is not the first time the R&B superstar has been accused of sexual abuse. Allegations have circled Kelly for decades; in 2002, a videotape surfaced that purportedly showed Kelly engaging in sexual acts with a teenage girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until recently, the accusations did not seem to significantly impact Kelly's career. Though Kelly was indicted in 2002 on \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/11/683936629/r-kelly-allegations-an-abridged-history#indictment\">21 counts of child pornography\u003c/a>, a Chicago jury later acquitted him of all charges in 2008.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But activist, filmmaker and writer dream hampton isn't about to let Kelly off the hook. hampton executive produced \u003cem>Surviving R. Kelly\u003c/em>, a six-part docuseries focusing on Kelly's alleged victims and their family members. hampton says the series, which first premiered on Lifetime on Jan. 3, is currently streaming on \u003ca href=\"https://www.mylifetime.com/\">Lifetime's website \u003c/a>and will re-air on Feb. 25, is about \"centering the women.\"\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/MrJvDouqb_s'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/MrJvDouqb_s'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>hampton describes an \"ecosystem\" that has supported and enabled Kelly over the years—at the expense of black women. \"There's a record industry that continued to do business with him in small and big ways,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But hampton hopes that the tide is finally turning. She notes that the grassroots \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/16/685912752/the-muterkelly-movement-takes-its-protest-to-the-steps-of-his-record-label\">#muterkelly \u003c/a>movement has raised awareness in the music industry and helped limit the radio play of Kelly's songs. Since the series aired, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/01/18/686641970/r-kelly-has-been-dropped-by-rca-records-billboard-reports\">Sony Music dropped\u003c/a> Kelly and Spotify downgraded him. Still, hampton says, \"we've seen five million streams of his music happen directly after the docuseries aired, and we saw two of his songs re-chart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/695083431/696326012\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On allegations against R. Kelly being well-known in his hometown of Chicago\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's really well-known in Chicago, for generations ... He would cruise McDonald's near high schools and have someone from his team go up to a girl, get her number and she didn't have to be anything. She didn't have to have long hair or short hair. [She could] be light skinned or dark skinned and have a great body or a bad one. All she had to be was young. And so, we have lots of evidence of him cruising not only McDonald's, but then also his old high school, Kenwood Academy, which was a kind of school that was renowned for its excellent music program and choir. Sometimes as a guest sometimes just as a drop-in, he would cruise girls at his high school.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the videotape that allegedly showed Kelly sexually abusing a teenage girl\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't watch it until I began making this docuseries. ... I avoided it because I thought it to be child porn just from the descriptions. But when I actually saw it, it had nothing to do with sex. It was all about barking commands at and humiliating and degrading this young, young girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She appears to be prepubescent, but we later learned that she was Sparkle's niece, and there was whole trial about that case. Sparkle was an R&B singer who lived in the studio. She was being mentored by R. Kelly. He was producing and writing her album. So, he met that victim because her aunt lived in the studio, as one does when one's recording an album, and her family, who were a family of musicians, would come by. He met her, Sparkle says, as early as 12.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On criticism that the survivors didn't go to the police \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That confounds me, especially coming from black people. I really didn't know until I started reading these tweets directed at me and some of the survivors that we had some fantasy about there being some vice squad dedicated to kind of busting down doors for black girls and to save black girls.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We also have testimony ... about the Chicago Police Department giving R. Kelly a heads up when one of the parents, for instance, had convinced the police to do a wellness check on their daughter. At this point, she was over 18. They couldn't really make a claim, but they begged the police to at least check on their daughter and make sure that she was okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone in the Chicago Police Department—likely someone who worked security on their off-duty hours—called him, and told him it was happening. And they got the studio ready and got the girls out of the studio before the police arrived.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On a pattern in the black community of protecting black men at the expense of black women \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We know that this system is unfair to black people—not just black men, but black people. We often rhetorically talk about black men being targeted and treated unfairly and abused in the criminal justice system—but it's black people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We know what this system does to us, right? So to turn to that system for justice is itself an oxymoron. But at the same time, we have a knee-jerk reaction to protect black men, always at the expense of black women. People like bell hooks and black feminists before me have written about this and talked about this and done scholarship about this, but nothing has changed about this. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So this is something that we see generation after generation, and R. Kelly has a particular kind of love, which acts as a currency in the black community. He is singularly an R&B artist. He makes black music for black people ... and he has used that love as a cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On R. Kelly being sexually abused himself as a child \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What R. Kelly was as a child was raped and molested. He uses the word \"molested.\" ... So he has some kind of understanding. ... [People on his team] knew that he was abused. Many of them there were Chicago-based people who knew that family members had been abusing him as a child. That's deep trauma that needs real healing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm not saying that at 52, which is the age R. Kelly is right now, when he has two very young women living with him, whose parents are looking for them, that there's some magical age when you are supposed to have a healing, because many people don't heal their entire lifetimes. I have childhood trauma that I'm still trying to heal and I'm five years younger than R. Kelly. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's cliché to say, but almost all abusers have been abused, but not all people who have been abused become abusers. So there comes a time when R. Kelly is absolutely responsible for the harm that he's caused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On why she wants to do this work \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I started writing about hip-hop as a 19-year-old film student in New York, I was calling out the misogyny and the violence against women. And I'm sad to say I don't feel that there's been too much progress made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I come from all-black Detroit city and I live and breathe in black spaces. And I want them to be safe not just for my daughter and me, but [also for] black women who don't want that safety for themselves, who've internalized the misogyny and don't \u003cem>think\u003c/em> that they deserve the safety and justice that they deserve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Heidi Saman and Thea Chaloner produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Sidney Madden adapted it for the Web. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 Fresh Air. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/\">Fresh Air\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Surviving+R.+Kelly%27+Producer+Dream+Hampton+Takes+On+Ecosystem+That+Supported+The+Star&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Students are Making Their Own (Surprisingly Good) 'Survivor' Series",
"title": "Students are Making Their Own (Surprisingly Good) 'Survivor' Series",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>College sophomore Jake Schwartz looks up at the red Solo cup teetering dangerously close to the 15-foot ledge above him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The cup is full of water, and it's attached to his arm by a string. One wrong move and it will dump on his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Schwartz tries to be still, but it's hard not to move. The cup inches forward.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then it happens: about 10 minutes in, his arm jerks and the cup drops, soaking him and his leather jacket—in 30-degree weather.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He has lost the challenge. But the 17 other strangers surrounding him sigh in relief. No one wanted to be the first one out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This may seem like a typical hazing scenario, but it's \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>, a fan-made version of CBS' hit television show \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>. Created in 2012 by \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> fan Austin Trupp,\u003cem> Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> was the first college version, but many more have followed. Now, college students around the country—from University of Virginia to Ohio State University—are remaking the show in between classes and homework. At least six campuses post their \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> re-creations on YouTube. Others are competing, but haven't posted their episodes yet. And around 20 schools reached out about starting their own versions, Trupp says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PMhYOlm4s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think the moment of real emotion, real fights, real anger, real joy, are what make this more than just like an extracurricular—it makes it an actual experience that makes it something worthwhile,\" says Anders Norberg, former host of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>. Norberg graduated in May, and now lives in Los Angeles where he's working in the entertainment business.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>'s 12th season kicked off with \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/30/507505728/creator-of-red-solo-cup-robert-hulseman-dies-at-84\">the Solo cup challenge\u003c/a> on Feb. 10. The challenges, tribal councils, secret meetings and confessionals are all recorded and edited into episodes and then posted on YouTube. (You can watch previous seasons \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN9B1MVCFcyc9lpD6UKOjtg\">here\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJodA_5VePCTVmMmkTc7bZA\">here\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And as some \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fans are gearing up for the premiere of the 38th season of CBS' \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>on Wednesday\u003cem>, \u003c/em>the 18 players of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> are fully focused on the game unfolding on their campus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109512\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/dsc0416_enl-ed04fb674d47a3958ad94893140502e98cd107e0-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"'Survivor Maryland' kicks off its 12th season with a challenge where participants' arms are tied to a plastic cup of water that's resting on the top of a ledge. One wrong move and the cup (and its contents) will tumble.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Survivor Maryland' kicks off its 12th season with a challenge where participants' arms are tied to a plastic cup of water that's resting on the top of a ledge. One wrong move and the cup (and its contents) will tumble.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Game culture\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The campus shows have taken on a life online—and have an extremely devoted fan base.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are super fans. They tune into live steam recaps of the newly released episodes, some which have more than 25,000 views on YouTube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One super fan, Jack Estavanik of Ramapo College of New Jersey, spends a few hours a week \u003ca href=\"http://survivormaryland.wikia.com/wiki/Survivor_Maryland_Wikia\">updating wiki pages\u003c/a> he created for \u003cem>Survivor Boston\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>. Recently, an immunity necklace used in season 5 of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.ebay.com/itm/232921715535\">sold for more than $380 on eBay\u003c/a>. And past \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player Alex Paskal says fans have reached out to him from as far as Peru.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I find this \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fan base as a whole to be a bizarrely varied group of people,\" says Alex Thal, a former contestant on \u003cem>Survivor Michigan.\u003c/em> \u003cem>\"\u003c/em>It seems like you almost just take the most random possible subsection of America and you get \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fans.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like on the real television show, the campus contestants are split into tribes and vote each other out. Contestants use various strategies—from forging alliances to outright deception—as they strive to be the last person standing and ultimate survivor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There were definitely times where people cried, people were in distress, people were furious at each other,\" Norberg says. \"Like, friendships ended because of the game.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, while there are similarities between the TV and campus versions—the tiki torch props, the hidden immunity idols and the drama—there are key differences. \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>lasts 39 days, whereas the college shows last one semester—anywhere from 75 and 100 days depending on the school. The television series offers a $1 million prize for winning, while most college shows offer $100. And there's no tropical island.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the biggest difference: the game takes its cues from campus life. Red Solo cups. Players in university-themed gear. Crew members recording footage not with a big video camera rig, but on smartphones. And it's primarily self-financed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This game screams college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109514\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109514\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/dsc0306_enl-f6e99826f73a91d597a6bcc4ff935c614a7b3d97-800x509.jpg\" alt=\"Contestant Alejandro Valdes, a sophomore at the University of Maryland, decided to compete in 'Survivor Maryland' because he wanted to be uncomfortable. "I just want to see how long I can last," he says.\" width=\"800\" height=\"509\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Contestant Alejandro Valdes, a sophomore at the University of Maryland, decided to compete in 'Survivor Maryland' because he wanted to be uncomfortable. \"I just want to see how long I can last,\" he says.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Then there's the strategizing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Contestants have tricked other players into thinking some of them were hooking up, spent hours searching campus for hidden clues or even bought fake idols to trick other players. One player even hid in another contestant's closet for hours to avoid being seen colluding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you want to do well in the game on a social level, you have to put in that amount of time,\" says Amani Desormeaux, a past \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player who admitted to skipping class to strategize. \"If I wasn't in class, if I wasn't sleeping, I was doing \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thal says he spent 20 hours a week playing and strategizing. Chris LeCompte, a two-season \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> veteran, says the game starts to blend with real life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're always thinking about it, and you're always on, because the thing about it is it's not a clock-in-and-clock-out-type... game,\" he says. \"It really is a live 24/7 game.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109515\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109515\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/untitled-1-33-7b0e6b464a81f0b5749a94d72d88911bf7e006e0-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Left: Junior Drew Lerner, in his second season as host, poses for a portrait. Right: Sophomore Adriano Backes Pilla cradles his shoulder after the Solo cup challenge.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Left: Junior Drew Lerner, in his second season as host, poses for a portrait. Right: Sophomore Adriano Backes Pilla cradles his shoulder after the Solo cup challenge.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>'Huge \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> family'\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Executing a show like this is a mammoth undertaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before each season, hosts spend months planning out each week's challenge and interviewing potential contestants. George Jayne, former host for \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>, received 130 applications for the first season of 18 contestants. Host of \u003cem>Survivor Boston\u003c/em> Jacob Falberg says he focuses on making sure the chosen players have the drive to win. That means interviewing everyone who applies, which at its peak was 60 applicants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to the host and cast, a crew of anywhere from five to 20 students constantly films during challenges, so no moment goes unseen. And for \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>, there's an entire social media team along with an editing team dedicated to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trupp says for his last season as host, he had to sift through 300 hours of footage while editing it, which took about two years. The season aired in 2018.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Norberg, who is currently editing his seasons as host, spends 15 hours editing the show each week—basically whenever he isn't at work, he says. He releases a new episode of season six every Monday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109522\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109522\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"A 'Survivor Maryland' player is filmed after she gets out in the Solo cup challenge. An hour into the challenge, half the players are out. "The emotion and the drive and everything is so real and so raw, you don't get that anywhere else," says Anders Norberg, former 'Survivor Maryland' host. "You probably won't get it for the rest of your life after this."\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-800x530.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-768x509.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1020x676.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1200x795.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1920x1272.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A 'Survivor Maryland' player is filmed after she gets out in the Solo cup challenge. An hour into the challenge, half the players are out. \"The emotion and the drive and everything is so real and so raw, you don't get that anywhere else,\" says Anders Norberg, former 'Survivor Maryland' host. \"You probably won't get it for the rest of your life after this.\" \u003ccite>(Noah Fortson/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>While critics say playing the game cuts into schoolwork, many contestants say they received higher grades when they played the game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That was my best semester... academically because it made me be more in tune with my time management,\" says \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> crewmember Swale Nida.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even through the turmoil and backstabbing, most players end up as friends and many return in later seasons or become part of the crew. Even after graduating, some still come by to help out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Once you play, once you're a part of it, it's like this huge \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> family, and I didn't want my journey to end just with playing,\" says Carly Weinstein, a former \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player and current crewmember.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109523\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109523\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"'Survivor Maryland's 12th season kicked off on Feb. 10. Maryland's version was the first of the fan-made campus re-creations. Its creator, Austin Trupp, estimates hundreds of college students have played in fan-made 'Survivor' shows by now.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-800x530.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-768x509.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1020x676.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1200x795.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1920x1272.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Survivor Maryland's 12th season kicked off on Feb. 10. Maryland's version was the first of the fan-made campus re-creations. Its creator, Austin Trupp, estimates hundreds of college students have played in fan-made 'Survivor' shows by now. \u003ccite>(Noah Fortson/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>'\u003cstrong>You dream about \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Survivor\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>'\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Solo cup challenge, contestants have been at it for about an hour and 20 minutes, and there are two players left, one from each tribe. Both refuse to give up. Current host Drew Lerner has them each stand on one foot. Seven minutes later, there is a winner. Everyone cheers, excited to go back to warmth. A similar challenge on CBS' \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> has lasted six hours—although it wasn't so cold out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While one tribe disperses into small groups, the other meets as a whole. The strategic game play has already begun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's something about this game that keeps you coming back... It takes up your entire mental capacity all the time,\" says Liam Mercer, a past player of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>. \"You dream about \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>when you're playing, and you dream about \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>after you get out.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://oliviasun.us/\">\u003cem>Olivia Sun\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> and Noah Fortson contributed to this story. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/lindseyf96?lang=en\">\u003cem>Lindsey Feingold\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> is the NPR digital content intern.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=It%27s+Survivor%3A+College+Edition%2C+As+Students+Create+Their+Own+Reality+Shows&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>College sophomore Jake Schwartz looks up at the red Solo cup teetering dangerously close to the 15-foot ledge above him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The cup is full of water, and it's attached to his arm by a string. One wrong move and it will dump on his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Schwartz tries to be still, but it's hard not to move. The cup inches forward.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then it happens: about 10 minutes in, his arm jerks and the cup drops, soaking him and his leather jacket—in 30-degree weather.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He has lost the challenge. But the 17 other strangers surrounding him sigh in relief. No one wanted to be the first one out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This may seem like a typical hazing scenario, but it's \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>, a fan-made version of CBS' hit television show \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>. Created in 2012 by \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> fan Austin Trupp,\u003cem> Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> was the first college version, but many more have followed. Now, college students around the country—from University of Virginia to Ohio State University—are remaking the show in between classes and homework. At least six campuses post their \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> re-creations on YouTube. Others are competing, but haven't posted their episodes yet. And around 20 schools reached out about starting their own versions, Trupp says.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/p9PMhYOlm4s'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/p9PMhYOlm4s'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\"I think the moment of real emotion, real fights, real anger, real joy, are what make this more than just like an extracurricular—it makes it an actual experience that makes it something worthwhile,\" says Anders Norberg, former host of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>. Norberg graduated in May, and now lives in Los Angeles where he's working in the entertainment business.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>'s 12th season kicked off with \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/30/507505728/creator-of-red-solo-cup-robert-hulseman-dies-at-84\">the Solo cup challenge\u003c/a> on Feb. 10. The challenges, tribal councils, secret meetings and confessionals are all recorded and edited into episodes and then posted on YouTube. (You can watch previous seasons \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN9B1MVCFcyc9lpD6UKOjtg\">here\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJodA_5VePCTVmMmkTc7bZA\">here\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And as some \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fans are gearing up for the premiere of the 38th season of CBS' \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>on Wednesday\u003cem>, \u003c/em>the 18 players of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> are fully focused on the game unfolding on their campus.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109512\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/dsc0416_enl-ed04fb674d47a3958ad94893140502e98cd107e0-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"'Survivor Maryland' kicks off its 12th season with a challenge where participants' arms are tied to a plastic cup of water that's resting on the top of a ledge. One wrong move and the cup (and its contents) will tumble.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Survivor Maryland' kicks off its 12th season with a challenge where participants' arms are tied to a plastic cup of water that's resting on the top of a ledge. One wrong move and the cup (and its contents) will tumble.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Game culture\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The campus shows have taken on a life online—and have an extremely devoted fan base.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are super fans. They tune into live steam recaps of the newly released episodes, some which have more than 25,000 views on YouTube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One super fan, Jack Estavanik of Ramapo College of New Jersey, spends a few hours a week \u003ca href=\"http://survivormaryland.wikia.com/wiki/Survivor_Maryland_Wikia\">updating wiki pages\u003c/a> he created for \u003cem>Survivor Boston\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>. Recently, an immunity necklace used in season 5 of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"https://www.ebay.com/itm/232921715535\">sold for more than $380 on eBay\u003c/a>. And past \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player Alex Paskal says fans have reached out to him from as far as Peru.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I find this \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fan base as a whole to be a bizarrely varied group of people,\" says Alex Thal, a former contestant on \u003cem>Survivor Michigan.\u003c/em> \u003cem>\"\u003c/em>It seems like you almost just take the most random possible subsection of America and you get \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>fans.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like on the real television show, the campus contestants are split into tribes and vote each other out. Contestants use various strategies—from forging alliances to outright deception—as they strive to be the last person standing and ultimate survivor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There were definitely times where people cried, people were in distress, people were furious at each other,\" Norberg says. \"Like, friendships ended because of the game.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, while there are similarities between the TV and campus versions—the tiki torch props, the hidden immunity idols and the drama—there are key differences. \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>lasts 39 days, whereas the college shows last one semester—anywhere from 75 and 100 days depending on the school. The television series offers a $1 million prize for winning, while most college shows offer $100. And there's no tropical island.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the biggest difference: the game takes its cues from campus life. Red Solo cups. Players in university-themed gear. Crew members recording footage not with a big video camera rig, but on smartphones. And it's primarily self-financed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This game screams college.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109514\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109514\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/dsc0306_enl-f6e99826f73a91d597a6bcc4ff935c614a7b3d97-800x509.jpg\" alt=\"Contestant Alejandro Valdes, a sophomore at the University of Maryland, decided to compete in 'Survivor Maryland' because he wanted to be uncomfortable. "I just want to see how long I can last," he says.\" width=\"800\" height=\"509\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Contestant Alejandro Valdes, a sophomore at the University of Maryland, decided to compete in 'Survivor Maryland' because he wanted to be uncomfortable. \"I just want to see how long I can last,\" he says.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Then there's the strategizing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Contestants have tricked other players into thinking some of them were hooking up, spent hours searching campus for hidden clues or even bought fake idols to trick other players. One player even hid in another contestant's closet for hours to avoid being seen colluding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you want to do well in the game on a social level, you have to put in that amount of time,\" says Amani Desormeaux, a past \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player who admitted to skipping class to strategize. \"If I wasn't in class, if I wasn't sleeping, I was doing \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thal says he spent 20 hours a week playing and strategizing. Chris LeCompte, a two-season \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> veteran, says the game starts to blend with real life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You're always thinking about it, and you're always on, because the thing about it is it's not a clock-in-and-clock-out-type... game,\" he says. \"It really is a live 24/7 game.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109515\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109515\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/untitled-1-33-7b0e6b464a81f0b5749a94d72d88911bf7e006e0-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Left: Junior Drew Lerner, in his second season as host, poses for a portrait. Right: Sophomore Adriano Backes Pilla cradles his shoulder after the Solo cup challenge.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Left: Junior Drew Lerner, in his second season as host, poses for a portrait. Right: Sophomore Adriano Backes Pilla cradles his shoulder after the Solo cup challenge.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>'Huge \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> family'\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Executing a show like this is a mammoth undertaking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before each season, hosts spend months planning out each week's challenge and interviewing potential contestants. George Jayne, former host for \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>, received 130 applications for the first season of 18 contestants. Host of \u003cem>Survivor Boston\u003c/em> Jacob Falberg says he focuses on making sure the chosen players have the drive to win. That means interviewing everyone who applies, which at its peak was 60 applicants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to the host and cast, a crew of anywhere from five to 20 students constantly films during challenges, so no moment goes unseen. And for \u003cem>Survivor Michigan\u003c/em>, there's an entire social media team along with an editing team dedicated to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trupp says for his last season as host, he had to sift through 300 hours of footage while editing it, which took about two years. The season aired in 2018.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Norberg, who is currently editing his seasons as host, spends 15 hours editing the show each week—basically whenever he isn't at work, he says. He releases a new episode of season six every Monday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109522\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109522\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"A 'Survivor Maryland' player is filmed after she gets out in the Solo cup challenge. An hour into the challenge, half the players are out. "The emotion and the drive and everything is so real and so raw, you don't get that anywhere else," says Anders Norberg, former 'Survivor Maryland' host. "You probably won't get it for the rest of your life after this."\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-800x530.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-768x509.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1020x676.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1200x795.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6031_enl-4dc6f638e3892369105006e22f755f288d0b9ea7-1-1920x1272.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A 'Survivor Maryland' player is filmed after she gets out in the Solo cup challenge. An hour into the challenge, half the players are out. \"The emotion and the drive and everything is so real and so raw, you don't get that anywhere else,\" says Anders Norberg, former 'Survivor Maryland' host. \"You probably won't get it for the rest of your life after this.\" \u003ccite>(Noah Fortson/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>While critics say playing the game cuts into schoolwork, many contestants say they received higher grades when they played the game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"That was my best semester... academically because it made me be more in tune with my time management,\" says \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> crewmember Swale Nida.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even through the turmoil and backstabbing, most players end up as friends and many return in later seasons or become part of the crew. Even after graduating, some still come by to help out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Once you play, once you're a part of it, it's like this huge \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> family, and I didn't want my journey to end just with playing,\" says Carly Weinstein, a former \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em> player and current crewmember.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109523\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109523\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"'Survivor Maryland's 12th season kicked off on Feb. 10. Maryland's version was the first of the fan-made campus re-creations. Its creator, Austin Trupp, estimates hundreds of college students have played in fan-made 'Survivor' shows by now.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-800x530.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-160x106.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-768x509.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1020x676.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1200x795.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/cal_6059-2_enl-a543c50107ec5050b872fe80f4b2d9bb6e7d8b30-1920x1272.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Survivor Maryland's 12th season kicked off on Feb. 10. Maryland's version was the first of the fan-made campus re-creations. Its creator, Austin Trupp, estimates hundreds of college students have played in fan-made 'Survivor' shows by now. \u003ccite>(Noah Fortson/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>'\u003cstrong>You dream about \u003c/strong>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Survivor\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>'\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Solo cup challenge, contestants have been at it for about an hour and 20 minutes, and there are two players left, one from each tribe. Both refuse to give up. Current host Drew Lerner has them each stand on one foot. Seven minutes later, there is a winner. Everyone cheers, excited to go back to warmth. A similar challenge on CBS' \u003cem>Survivor\u003c/em> has lasted six hours—although it wasn't so cold out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While one tribe disperses into small groups, the other meets as a whole. The strategic game play has already begun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's something about this game that keeps you coming back... It takes up your entire mental capacity all the time,\" says Liam Mercer, a past player of \u003cem>Survivor Maryland\u003c/em>. \"You dream about \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>when you're playing, and you dream about \u003cem>Survivor \u003c/em>after you get out.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://oliviasun.us/\">\u003cem>Olivia Sun\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> and Noah Fortson contributed to this story. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/lindseyf96?lang=en\">\u003cem>Lindsey Feingold\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> is the NPR digital content intern.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=It%27s+Survivor%3A+College+Edition%2C+As+Students+Create+Their+Own+Reality+Shows&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, yet another assassin tried to kill the Queen. Scary stuff, yet this guy was thoroughly entertained:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109286\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Villain continued to be the worst:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109295\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/boar.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The writers used an aquatic vessel as a censor bar:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109299\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-160x95.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-800x474.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-768x455.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM.png 1380w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman's nose got really smooshed:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109300\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1200x670.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM.png 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Victoria got pregnant for the gazillionth time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108898\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-penge-eye-roll.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"425\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this point, even her own children are starting to judge her for \u003cem>still\u003c/em> refusing to use protection.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"534\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg 534w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 534px) 100vw, 534px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How drawn out will this pregnancy storyline be? And what kind of ridiculous object will the writers plop in front of New Footman's bits this time? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blessed be! The stork has already delivered Baby #7! We get to skip sitting through another tiresome pregnancy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/veep-prayer-worked.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now we can focus on more important things!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like everyone sitting around looking at unexciting old selfies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait, what?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/wow-this-is-boring.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Have you ever watched someone blankly scroll through their Instagram feed? Yeah, that apparently also happened in the 19th century too, but with rudimentary self-portrait sketches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone points and laughs at a selfie of Victoria bathing one of her countless children. \u003cem>LOL! You nurtured your own child one time? What are you, a poor person?! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nearby, Bertie is using all the time he once spent studying French and arithmetic on something new: learning whether all his marbles will fit up his little brother's nose. Victoria yells at him and thinks to herself:\u003cem> I should have used protection like that delightful recapper has continuously suggested since Season 1!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-told-you-so-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vicky Jr. agrees with me and takes the words right out of my mouth: \"Is the new baby making her feel cross? I don't understand why she keeps getting them.\" It's truly a mystery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*glances at my watch* Oh, would you look at the time! It's Albert-Gets-A-Random-New-Hobby o'clock! Trains, toilets, bullying that little African girl they adopted for a hot second last season, trying to make science happen at Cambridge, and now... redesigning a 10 pence coin. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost as thrilling (i.e. not at all) as Uncle Leopold dropping by for a visit. His presence is actually fitting in this selfie-centric episode because remember last season when he gave Albert a locket with a picture of himself inside to apologize for secretly being his dad?\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I went on to turn his selfie locket apology into a meme every time he did something wrong, which was often.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101981\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101994\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-102158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It would be easier to tolerate Leopold's presence if he had brought along Ernst. Where has he been all season?? I want an update on how many more women he's given syphilis to!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98257\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/syphilis2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of people who have a hard (no pun intended) time keeping it in their pants, New Footman is holding a candelabra over Disney Princess, as she plays the piano. He doesn't understand why she's icing him out after their sexy frolic on the beach. Apparently, for Disney Princess, what happens in Ireland, stays in Ireland (no word on her stance on what happens in Vegas).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before New Footman can make any progress, Mean Butler shows up and says, \"Would you like me to arrange for an oil lamp by the piano, if there's not enough light? I'm worried that New Footman might spill wax on you.\" I'm no psychic, but I predict there will be a different kind of spillage between these two very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*runs over to the gutter to collect my mind*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't judge me. I saw your mind in there too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With all the almost revolutions and cholera outbreaks and assassination attempts, it's been a while since Victoria threw a rager, so she announces a ball celebrating the fashions of the last century. Disney Villain tells Disney Princess she would look beautiful if she dressed up as his grandmother. Wait, why is he being nice? Surely, there's a catch of some kind, but there's no time to investigate because Bertie lost his pet mouse and needs help finding it! You know who else had a pet mouse growing up? Michael Jackson. And look at how well he turned out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/too-soon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"247\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across Britain, paperboys scream, \u003cem>Extra! Extra! Someone hacked the Queen's iCloud account and leaked all her boring selfies! Read all about it!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is outraged that the public will now imagine her stooping so low as to bathe her own children! The horror! She vows to sue the printer for treason... until everyone explains to her that that's not a thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/brain-wizard-of-oz.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in the park, Xenadora is trotting on a brand new horse while rocking a flashy new outfit. It seems as though she's making bank off of selling invitations to the ball. Don't hate the player, hate the game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While all the other children attend their tutoring lessons and learn that an abacus is not a musical instrument nor something you put on your head, Bertie plays hooky with his pet mouse, Fievel Mousekewitz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert catches him, Bertie screams, \"I hope mama dies soon so I can be king and I can do anything I want!\" Wow! It wasn't right when Cambridge Tutor Dude abused Bertie, but what about if we let an inanimate object—say, a swinging saloon door perhaps—do the dirty work for us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109488\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's going to leave a mark. No one ever said karma was gentle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, after overhearing Disney Princess telling everyone about her costume idea for the ball, New Footman warns her that Disney Villain's grandmother was famous for sleeping around, having her children taken away and committing suicide. \u003cem>It's a trap! Now let's make out so hard that my nose gets smooshed!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nose-window.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"405\" height=\"369\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert summons a phrenology expert to measure Bertie's skull and determine whether he is super duper dumb or just a little bit dumb. Prognosis: Super duper, with a side of inherited insanity, courtesy of his great grandfather, the mad King George. Not sure what they expected with all that incest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode has been pretty grim so far. What we need is a good old fashioned girls vs. boys dance off! Hit it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dance-off.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So random, yet so right. This show knows how to pull me back in (usually it's with skinny dipping, but this is cool too).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of getting naked, Disney Princess finds New Footman in the hallways and asks if he can help her with her \"rather constricting\" bodice. As you might imagine, New Footman's response is in the neighborhood of \u003cem>UM, HELL YEAH!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They duck into a linen closet and New Footman asks, \"Where exactly do you require my assistance.\" Disney Princess grabs his hand and puts it on her left boob. Okay then! Let the \"wax\" pouring begin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on the dance floor, Victoria notices two people who are actually having fun and immediately suspects they aren't aristocratic enough to be there. It doesn't take long before she realizes Xenadora has been selling invitations for sapphire tiaras and horses and other cool stuff. When Victoria confronts her, Xenadora tells her not to act like a washerwoman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things don't get any nicer from there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"You have made me look ridiculous!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \"I think that is all your own doing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"You hate me, don't you?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-9518\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/Michelle-Tanner-Duh-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Finally, we get an explanation of Xenadora's motivations this entire season. Remember that time Xenadora was mistily gazing at the portrait of a king and Bertie called him fat? Well, he wanted to marry Xenadora, but Leopold married Xenadora off to some random drunk German so Victoria could be Queen instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess I would be a bit annoyed by that too. Let Xenadora have her nice things and secretly plot in the background of every scene! She's been through stuff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Victoria is still in a mood, this time because some Latin phrase that says God is obsessed with her was left off her new 10 pence coin. She demands to know who is responsible for this oversight. Everyone points their finger in Albert's direction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria bursts into his office and proceeds to yell about the coin and Xenadora not liking her and Bertie being dumb and how she knows Albert thinks she's dumb too. Albert calmly tells her she's being kind of crazy. Her rebuttal: Would a crazy person do THIS?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/break.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, yeah, I think they would.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a suggestion. Translate \"If you can't beat 'em, act like a total brat and break something\" into Latin and put \u003cem>that\u003c/em> on a coin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The brattiness continues at Baby #7's christening. Victoria sees Albert and Xenadora having a good time, so she chugs a glass of champagne, storms up to them and announces: \u003cem>She's been selling invitations! Do you still like her better than me? Do you?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This naturally backfires. Alberts poses an important question: \"Why do you begrudge her the crumbs from your table?\" And then he makes a face that says,\u003cem> I already have seven children, please stop acting like the eighth.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Victoria can't stop, won't stop. She tells Xenadora she wants her to move out and then follows Albert into his office to whine some more about how Xenadora hates her. By this point, Albert has had it officially, so he says, \"I think your intellect is over-taxed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Would an over-taxed intellect do this?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/slap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why, yes. Yes, it would.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Something about being smacked in the mouth inspires Albert to speak some hard truth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"When did you stop loving me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I do love you, just as I love the children.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"That's not what I meant.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I know, but it is all I have left.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once more with feeling:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dejected, Victoria roams the halls, feeling sorry for herself, when she finds Bertie, also feeling sorry for himself 'cause he's lost Fievel again. They embrace on the ground and Bertie says, \"Papa doesn't love me anymore cause I'm stupid.\" Victoria thinks, \u003cem>That makes two of us.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/what-are-you-idiot-sandwich.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Victoria. \u003c/strong>Sure, this is her show and all, but she's been really insufferable lately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-67693\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/ramona-xanax.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-67692\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/ramona-xanax-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Vicky Jr. \u003c/strong>She can be kind of a teacher's pet, but her saying \"I don't understand why she keeps getting them\" about Victoria's continuous pregnancies makes her a winner in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>The Stork. \u003c/strong>For delivering Baby #7 between episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess and New Footman\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Congrats to them for finally getting to pour some wax. They deserve it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam. \u003c/strong>For wearing not one, not two, but THREE bows in his long white braid. Werk!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM.png 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM-160x152.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "The Queen throws a ball and everyone wigs out, literally and figuratively.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, yet another assassin tried to kill the Queen. Scary stuff, yet this guy was thoroughly entertained:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109286\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Disney Villain continued to be the worst:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109295\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/boar.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The writers used an aquatic vessel as a censor bar:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109299\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-160x95.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-800x474.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-768x455.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM.png 1380w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman's nose got really smooshed:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109300\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1200x670.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM.png 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And Victoria got pregnant for the gazillionth time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108898\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/victoria-penge-eye-roll.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"425\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this point, even her own children are starting to judge her for \u003cem>still\u003c/em> refusing to use protection.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-108771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"534\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky.jpg 534w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/american-idol-victoria-bertie-vicky-520x390.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 534px) 100vw, 534px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How drawn out will this pregnancy storyline be? And what kind of ridiculous object will the writers plop in front of New Footman's bits this time? Let's find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blessed be! The stork has already delivered Baby #7! We get to skip sitting through another tiresome pregnancy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/veep-prayer-worked.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now we can focus on more important things!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like everyone sitting around looking at unexciting old selfies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait, what?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/wow-this-is-boring.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Have you ever watched someone blankly scroll through their Instagram feed? Yeah, that apparently also happened in the 19th century too, but with rudimentary self-portrait sketches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone points and laughs at a selfie of Victoria bathing one of her countless children. \u003cem>LOL! You nurtured your own child one time? What are you, a poor person?! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nearby, Bertie is using all the time he once spent studying French and arithmetic on something new: learning whether all his marbles will fit up his little brother's nose. Victoria yells at him and thinks to herself:\u003cem> I should have used protection like that delightful recapper has continuously suggested since Season 1!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/i-told-you-so-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vicky Jr. agrees with me and takes the words right out of my mouth: \"Is the new baby making her feel cross? I don't understand why she keeps getting them.\" It's truly a mystery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*glances at my watch* Oh, would you look at the time! It's Albert-Gets-A-Random-New-Hobby o'clock! Trains, toilets, bullying that little African girl they adopted for a hot second last season, trying to make science happen at Cambridge, and now... redesigning a 10 pence coin. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Almost as thrilling (i.e. not at all) as Uncle Leopold dropping by for a visit. His presence is actually fitting in this selfie-centric episode because remember last season when he gave Albert a locket with a picture of himself inside to apologize for secretly being his dad?\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/my-bad-locket-victoria-leopold.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I went on to turn his selfie locket apology into a meme every time he did something wrong, which was often.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101981\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cb.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-101994\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/cockblock-again.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-102158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1020x830.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1020x830.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-160x130.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-800x651.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-768x625.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1200x977.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-1180x960.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-960x781.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-240x195.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-375x305.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket-520x423.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/spilled-beans-locket.jpg 1327w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It would be easier to tolerate Leopold's presence if he had brought along Ernst. Where has he been all season?? I want an update on how many more women he's given syphilis to!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98257\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/syphilis2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of people who have a hard (no pun intended) time keeping it in their pants, New Footman is holding a candelabra over Disney Princess, as she plays the piano. He doesn't understand why she's icing him out after their sexy frolic on the beach. Apparently, for Disney Princess, what happens in Ireland, stays in Ireland (no word on her stance on what happens in Vegas).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before New Footman can make any progress, Mean Butler shows up and says, \"Would you like me to arrange for an oil lamp by the piano, if there's not enough light? I'm worried that New Footman might spill wax on you.\" I'm no psychic, but I predict there will be a different kind of spillage between these two very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*runs over to the gutter to collect my mind*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't judge me. I saw your mind in there too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With all the almost revolutions and cholera outbreaks and assassination attempts, it's been a while since Victoria threw a rager, so she announces a ball celebrating the fashions of the last century. Disney Villain tells Disney Princess she would look beautiful if she dressed up as his grandmother. Wait, why is he being nice? Surely, there's a catch of some kind, but there's no time to investigate because Bertie lost his pet mouse and needs help finding it! You know who else had a pet mouse growing up? Michael Jackson. And look at how well he turned out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/too-soon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"247\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across Britain, paperboys scream, \u003cem>Extra! Extra! Someone hacked the Queen's iCloud account and leaked all her boring selfies! Read all about it!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is outraged that the public will now imagine her stooping so low as to bathe her own children! The horror! She vows to sue the printer for treason... until everyone explains to her that that's not a thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/brain-wizard-of-oz.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, in the park, Xenadora is trotting on a brand new horse while rocking a flashy new outfit. It seems as though she's making bank off of selling invitations to the ball. Don't hate the player, hate the game.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While all the other children attend their tutoring lessons and learn that an abacus is not a musical instrument nor something you put on your head, Bertie plays hooky with his pet mouse, Fievel Mousekewitz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Albert catches him, Bertie screams, \"I hope mama dies soon so I can be king and I can do anything I want!\" Wow! It wasn't right when Cambridge Tutor Dude abused Bertie, but what about if we let an inanimate object—say, a swinging saloon door perhaps—do the dirty work for us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109488\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/bertie-slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's going to leave a mark. No one ever said karma was gentle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, after overhearing Disney Princess telling everyone about her costume idea for the ball, New Footman warns her that Disney Villain's grandmother was famous for sleeping around, having her children taken away and committing suicide. \u003cem>It's a trap! Now let's make out so hard that my nose gets smooshed!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/nose-window.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"405\" height=\"369\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert summons a phrenology expert to measure Bertie's skull and determine whether he is super duper dumb or just a little bit dumb. Prognosis: Super duper, with a side of inherited insanity, courtesy of his great grandfather, the mad King George. Not sure what they expected with all that incest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode has been pretty grim so far. What we need is a good old fashioned girls vs. boys dance off! Hit it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dance-off.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So random, yet so right. This show knows how to pull me back in (usually it's with skinny dipping, but this is cool too).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of getting naked, Disney Princess finds New Footman in the hallways and asks if he can help her with her \"rather constricting\" bodice. As you might imagine, New Footman's response is in the neighborhood of \u003cem>UM, HELL YEAH!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They duck into a linen closet and New Footman asks, \"Where exactly do you require my assistance.\" Disney Princess grabs his hand and puts it on her left boob. Okay then! Let the \"wax\" pouring begin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on the dance floor, Victoria notices two people who are actually having fun and immediately suspects they aren't aristocratic enough to be there. It doesn't take long before she realizes Xenadora has been selling invitations for sapphire tiaras and horses and other cool stuff. When Victoria confronts her, Xenadora tells her not to act like a washerwoman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things don't get any nicer from there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"You have made me look ridiculous!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \"I think that is all your own doing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"You hate me, don't you?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Xenadora:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-9518\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/11/Michelle-Tanner-Duh-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Finally, we get an explanation of Xenadora's motivations this entire season. Remember that time Xenadora was mistily gazing at the portrait of a king and Bertie called him fat? Well, he wanted to marry Xenadora, but Leopold married Xenadora off to some random drunk German so Victoria could be Queen instead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess I would be a bit annoyed by that too. Let Xenadora have her nice things and secretly plot in the background of every scene! She's been through stuff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Victoria is still in a mood, this time because some Latin phrase that says God is obsessed with her was left off her new 10 pence coin. She demands to know who is responsible for this oversight. Everyone points their finger in Albert's direction.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria bursts into his office and proceeds to yell about the coin and Xenadora not liking her and Bertie being dumb and how she knows Albert thinks she's dumb too. Albert calmly tells her she's being kind of crazy. Her rebuttal: Would a crazy person do THIS?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/break.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, yeah, I think they would.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a suggestion. Translate \"If you can't beat 'em, act like a total brat and break something\" into Latin and put \u003cem>that\u003c/em> on a coin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The brattiness continues at Baby #7's christening. Victoria sees Albert and Xenadora having a good time, so she chugs a glass of champagne, storms up to them and announces: \u003cem>She's been selling invitations! Do you still like her better than me? Do you?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This naturally backfires. Alberts poses an important question: \"Why do you begrudge her the crumbs from your table?\" And then he makes a face that says,\u003cem> I already have seven children, please stop acting like the eighth.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Victoria can't stop, won't stop. She tells Xenadora she wants her to move out and then follows Albert into his office to whine some more about how Xenadora hates her. By this point, Albert has had it officially, so he says, \"I think your intellect is over-taxed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Would an over-taxed intellect do this?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/slap.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why, yes. Yes, it would.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Something about being smacked in the mouth inspires Albert to speak some hard truth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"When did you stop loving me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I do love you, just as I love the children.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"That's not what I meant.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"I know, but it is all I have left.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once more with feeling:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/daaamn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"479\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dejected, Victoria roams the halls, feeling sorry for herself, when she finds Bertie, also feeling sorry for himself 'cause he's lost Fievel again. They embrace on the ground and Bertie says, \"Papa doesn't love me anymore cause I'm stupid.\" Victoria thinks, \u003cem>That makes two of us.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/what-are-you-idiot-sandwich.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Victoria. \u003c/strong>Sure, this is her show and all, but she's been really insufferable lately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-67693\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/ramona-xanax.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-67692\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/ramona-xanax-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Vicky Jr. \u003c/strong>She can be kind of a teacher's pet, but her saying \"I don't understand why she keeps getting them\" about Victoria's continuous pregnancies makes her a winner in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>The Stork. \u003c/strong>For delivering Baby #7 between episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Disney Princess and New Footman\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Congrats to them for finally getting to pour some wax. They deserve it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Lord Pam. \u003c/strong>For wearing not one, not two, but THREE bows in his long white braid. Werk!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM.png 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-17-at-8.25.04-PM-160x152.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Netflix Refuses to Remove Real-Life Disaster Footage From 'Birdbox'",
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"content": "\u003cp>Canadians are furious over Netflix's use of real-life footage of a deadly oil-train disaster in two of the company's recent science fiction productions. The 2013 accident in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, involved an American-owned oil tanker train and left 47 people dead. It incinerated the community's historic downtown—video images of towering pillars of smoke and fire went viral on Youtube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This winter, those images began appearing again on Canadian TV screens, not in newscasts or documentaries, but in sci-fi stories, including the hit alien invasion film \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/80196789\">Bird Box\u003c/a>\u003c/em> with Sandra Bullock. In the Bullock film, the Lac-Megantic images are part of a fake newscast that purports to show violent turmoil in Europe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109317\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109317\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-800x600.png\" alt=\"Netflix used video footage from an oil train disaster in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, in both 'Travelers' and 'Birdbox'. The use of the footage has angered Canadians.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-800x600.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-160x120.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-768x576.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac.png 927w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Netflix used video footage from an oil train disaster in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, in both 'Travelers' and 'Birdbox'. The use of the footage has angered Canadians.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The clip appears briefly again in \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/80105699\">Travelers\u003c/a>,\u003c/em> a joint U.S.-Canadian sci-fi series about time-travelers, repurposed in a fake newscast describing a nuclear attack on London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lac-Megantic Mayor Julie Morin declined to speak with NPR, but provided a statement calling use of the video unethical.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Those images are the representation of our city's worst day in history, a day from which we are still working hard to recover,\" Morin wrote. She called for the film industry to reconsider the use of footage taken from \"real tragic human events\" for fictional entertainment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Canada's Parliament agrees. In late January, MP Pierre Mantel spoke on the floor of the House of Commons, denouncing Netflix and introducing a nonbinding resolution calling for the company to \"compensate local residents and remove the video clip from the films.\" The proposal was approved unanimously and drew a round of applause in the chamber.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some commentators in Canada have pointed out that stock footage of real disasters has been used by Hollywood in entertainment films for years. In an open letter addressed to the community of Lac-Megantic, Netflix executives wrote that they \"regret any pain\" their productions caused, but they haven't offered compensation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The stock film distribution company that sold the video clip also apologized and says it's reviewing its policy for how images can be repurposed by clients in the film industry. \"It has recently come to our attention that our footage depicting the Lac-Mégantic rail disaster was taken out of context,\" said the firm Pond5 in a statement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We deeply regret that this happened and sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended, especially the victims and their families,\" the company added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Producers of the \u003cem>Travelers\u003c/em> sci-fi series now say the fiery images will be clipped out and replaced as soon as possible. Netflix is refusing to remove the footage from the film \u003cem>Bird Box\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NCPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/\">NCPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Video+Clips+Of+Oil+Train+Disaster+Used+In+Netflix+Sci-Fi+Films+Anger+Canadians&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Canadians are furious over Netflix's use of real-life footage of a deadly oil-train disaster in two of the company's recent science fiction productions. The 2013 accident in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, involved an American-owned oil tanker train and left 47 people dead. It incinerated the community's historic downtown—video images of towering pillars of smoke and fire went viral on Youtube.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This winter, those images began appearing again on Canadian TV screens, not in newscasts or documentaries, but in sci-fi stories, including the hit alien invasion film \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/80196789\">Bird Box\u003c/a>\u003c/em> with Sandra Bullock. In the Bullock film, the Lac-Megantic images are part of a fake newscast that purports to show violent turmoil in Europe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_109317\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-109317\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-800x600.png\" alt=\"Netflix used video footage from an oil train disaster in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, in both 'Travelers' and 'Birdbox'. The use of the footage has angered Canadians.\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-800x600.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-160x120.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac-768x576.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/screen-shot-2019-02-08-at-3.04.50-pm-85745827d855c0aa966c1d6794cfe5f743abc1ac.png 927w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Netflix used video footage from an oil train disaster in Lac-Megantic, Quebec, in both 'Travelers' and 'Birdbox'. The use of the footage has angered Canadians.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The clip appears briefly again in \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.netflix.com/title/80105699\">Travelers\u003c/a>,\u003c/em> a joint U.S.-Canadian sci-fi series about time-travelers, repurposed in a fake newscast describing a nuclear attack on London.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lac-Megantic Mayor Julie Morin declined to speak with NPR, but provided a statement calling use of the video unethical.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Those images are the representation of our city's worst day in history, a day from which we are still working hard to recover,\" Morin wrote. She called for the film industry to reconsider the use of footage taken from \"real tragic human events\" for fictional entertainment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Canada's Parliament agrees. In late January, MP Pierre Mantel spoke on the floor of the House of Commons, denouncing Netflix and introducing a nonbinding resolution calling for the company to \"compensate local residents and remove the video clip from the films.\" The proposal was approved unanimously and drew a round of applause in the chamber.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some commentators in Canada have pointed out that stock footage of real disasters has been used by Hollywood in entertainment films for years. In an open letter addressed to the community of Lac-Megantic, Netflix executives wrote that they \"regret any pain\" their productions caused, but they haven't offered compensation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The stock film distribution company that sold the video clip also apologized and says it's reviewing its policy for how images can be repurposed by clients in the film industry. \"It has recently come to our attention that our footage depicting the Lac-Mégantic rail disaster was taken out of context,\" said the firm Pond5 in a statement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We deeply regret that this happened and sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended, especially the victims and their families,\" the company added.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Producers of the \u003cem>Travelers\u003c/em> sci-fi series now say the fiery images will be clipped out and replaced as soon as possible. Netflix is refusing to remove the footage from the film \u003cem>Bird Box\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NCPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.northcountrypublicradio.org/\">NCPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Video+Clips+Of+Oil+Train+Disaster+Used+In+Netflix+Sci-Fi+Films+Anger+Canadians&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again",
"title": "'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the writers obliterated our hearts by killing off Babyface Maid. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109307\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/depressed-wine-drinking-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will this week's episode involve Babyface Maid suddenly bolting out of bed and shouting, \"PSYCH!\"? Or maybe Hot Italian Chef will wake up and realize that all of episode four was just a really bad dream? Let's find out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out the nightmare is unfortunately very real (see above sobbing wino gif). Things take another dark turn when Victoria and two of her bazillion kids are out for a carriage ride. An old lady cradling a baby reveals herself to actually be a pissed off Irish dude cradling a gun!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The guy on the left is like, \u003cem>Good luck, Victoria! I'm out of here!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109285\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, the guy in the middle is like, \u003cem>Can someone pass me some popcorn?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109286\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, the wannabe assassin is stopped and apprehended. Now that we know everyone is safe, allow me to share my ranking of all the wannabe assassins we've met over the past three seasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last place goes to Season 2 Wannabe Assassin. Remember him? Yeah, I didn't think so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Second place goes to Season 1 Wannabe Assassin, who has probably already been reincarnated and won a season of \u003cem>Project Runway.\u003c/em> Just look at how he draped the fabric on his regicide-themed dress form!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-101789\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-1020x596.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"374\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-1020x596.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-160x93.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-800x467.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-768x448.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-960x561.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-240x140.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-375x219.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-520x304.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And first place goes to this brand new assassin because he got gussied up in elder drag, which shows a high level of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. I look forward to seeing him compete on Season 12 of \u003cem>RuPaul's Drag Race\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's cleared up, let's continue with the story...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria is so shaken up from the attempt on her life that she accidentally calls her new maid by Babyface Maid's name. Be right back, gotta go concern my neighbors with some more loud sobbing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/emma-stone-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I'm back. The new maid happens to be our old friend, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, who seems to have gotten over being duped by her traitorous crush Nine Fingers. When Victoria tells her that the Season 3 Wannabe Assassin was Irish, Jo blurts out \u003cem>Well, duh!\u003c/em> in the Queen's face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is confused: \u003cem>Surely, the Irish aren't still mad at me over the potato famine! That was so last season! \u003c/em>So Jo serves the Queen some real talk: \u003cem>Um, yeah, you could say the Irish are still upset about ONE MILLION of their compatriots dying unnecessarily. Oh, and P.S. they want to Irish goodbye right out of your kingdom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109291\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/irish-goodbye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"900\" height=\"506\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert introduces the family to a dude he met at Cambridge who is going to help Bertie stop being so dumb. Vicky Jr. wants to know why she doesn't get a tutor too. Instead of explaining that a major tenet of the patriarchy is to keep women subjugated by depriving them of access to education, Albert opts for a simpler answer: \"You have your aunt Xenadora.\" Ah, what a comfort\u003cem> that\u003c/em> is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-victoria-scary-creepy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the writers want to distract us from the fact that they BRUTALLY KILLED OFF BABYFACE MAID FOR NO REASON, we're off on another road trip (I'll be more amenable to forgiveness if there's more skinny dipping, just saying).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This time, the gang is heading to Ireland so that the Queen can show her face and be like, \u003cem>Hey, y'all. Sorry about the potato thing! Now, will you stop trying to kill me? Also, does Bono live around here?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they arrive, they don't run into any members of U2 but do meet up with Lord Pam's wife. Here's the 411 on her (according to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Temple,_Viscountess_Palmerston\">her Wikipedia page\u003c/a>):\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Her brother was none other than Lord M.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her first husband was kind of a dud, so she cheated on him A LOT.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her favorite side-piece was Lord Pam.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Once Hubby #1 kicked the bucket, she got hitched to Lord Pam at the ripe age of 52 (Stella got her groove back!).\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her five children were allegedly fathered by Hubby #1, but rumor has it that one was Lord Pam's and another belonged to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlo_Andrea_Pozzo_di_Borgo\">a Corsican dude with a thing for Russia\u003c/a>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Oh, yeah, and she was a beekeeper!\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109292\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/beekeeper-lord-pam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What an outfit!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109293\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/beekeeper-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Pam's mansion, everyone sits for a meal and Disney Villain shares his thoughts on how women are all idiots, especially Disney Princess. New Footman briefly considers murdering Disney Villain with a tiny pair of scissors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109294\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/scissors-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam calls Disney Villain a boar, so he does this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109295\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/boar.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone wishes they had tiny scissors on hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Albert finds out what we already know thanks to Wikipedia: one of Lady Pam's daughters from her previous marriage looks an awful lot like Lord Pam. Because Albert isn't wearing any pearls to clutch, he settles for verbally expressing his shock: \"Dear God, we are among barbarians!\" Um, Al? You married your first cousin. You can get off your high horse now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dark hallway, New Footman seductively whispers to Disney Princess: \"Listen close, your grace. You can hear those waves.\" The skinny dip probability meter just went way up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109296\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/pull-your-pants-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the royal bedroom, Victoria and Albert are fighting again. You know who can't get into stupid fights with their spouse anymore? Babyface Maid! Because she's dead! Life is short! Get over the petty BS! Quit being brats! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite my impassioned overuse of exclamation points, they continue bickering. Albert tells Victoria that both he and Xenadora think that she's been making terrible choices since giving birth to Baby #6. This does not go over well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"I don't shed a part of my brain every time I have a baby! Dear God, Albert, what has she been saying to you? I was speaking tonight and you rolled your eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"You were not meant to see that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oof, this is painful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98398\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/britney-cringe.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to check in on what weird stuff Xenadora is up to back in London. Oh, nothing major, just pressuring the kids to drink alcohol with their breakfast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109298\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/happy-hour-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109297\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/im-not-a-regular-mom-im-a-cool-mom.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Ireland, Lady Pam blows Victoria's mind by detailing how she and Lord Pam are in an open relationship and that, when the beehive is a-rockin', they agree not to come a-knockin'. Victoria thinks to herself, \u003cem>Well, if Albert keeps up this bratty thing, maybe Baby #7 can be fathered by someone else (perhaps even someone I'm not related to!).\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the beach, Disney Princess is on a stroll, thinking about where she can get a pair of tiny scissors when she runs into a naked post-skinny-dip New Footman! Bingo! The \"Field Trip = Nudity\" formula never fails on this show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109299\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-160x95.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-800x474.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-768x455.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM.png 1380w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is that a boat on its side or are you just happy to see me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The correct answer is both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman eventually gets dressed, but from the thirsty look on Disney Princess' face, she's already undressing him again with her eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109308\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/undressing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about how both of them find themselves without power, he with an abusive boss and she with an abusive husband. Not one to waste any time 'cause people are known to CONTRACT CHOLERA AND SUDDENLY DIE AROUND HERE (still bitter about it, can you tell?), Disney Princess says, \"I should like you to kiss me.\" New Footman proves that he has game by saying, \"I offer you love, Disney Princess. Nothing less.\" Then they make out at long last, and New Footman's nose gets very squished!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109300\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1200x670.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM.png 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the mansion, Victoria wakes up from a nap and pukes. Hope y'all enjoyed the one or two episodes this season without a pregnancy because Baby #7 is already on the way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109301\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/push-computer-away-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Lord Pam tells Disney Princess that he knows she has \"an itch\" and that she shouldn't let a poor person scratch it. Too late!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109302\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/cat-scratching-another-cat_o_679990.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, the gang continues onto Dublin where Victoria has to befriend a Catholic cardinal. Their interaction goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, my bad about the famine and not dropping by sooner. We cool? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cardinal:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I guess so, yeah. Hey, look, I got you a bird. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>That's nice, but I don't want it. *opens cage and lets bird fly away* Bye, bird!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>War between Catholics and Protestants: postponed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward and the gang arrives back in London to discover that Bertie learned French while they were away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria also discovers that he has something that looks like a rash on his wrist. OMG, is Xenadora not only getting the children drunk, but abusing them too? Say it ain't so! I prefer her to stay creepy and sneaky, yet harmless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disneyworld, Disney Princess finds some leftover sand in her traveling hat. She sensually uses it to exfoliate her lips because everyone on this show is a little bit of a weirdo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109303\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/exfoliate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unbeknownst to her, Disney Villain sees the whole thing and marches over to some playboy club to threaten Lord Pam over bedding his wife. Despite me chanting \"Fight! Fight! Fight!\" at my screen, all that happens is Disney Villain drops a glass on the ground. Step it up, \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers! The boys on \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> put each other's heads into roaring fireplaces, attempt to thumb each other's eyes out and throw coins in each other's faces!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Jo informs Victoria that she should be concerned about Bertie. Cut to Victoria catching Cambridge Tutor Dude as he's abusing Bertie! We don't get to see what his punishment is, but I'm gonna guess that tiny scissors are involved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Albert is beside himself over the abuse, but manages to focus on a silver lining: \"Thank God we have no more children for me to damage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria doesn't waste any time bursting that bubble with news of Baby #7. Albert looks like he isn't sure if he's going to cry or puke or both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109305\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Same, bro. Same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Cambridge Tutor Dude.\u003c/strong> I'm not a huge fan of kids either, which is why my job doesn't involve spending all my time with them. This guy needs to get some therapy and then get another job... if he isn't already in a shallow grave with a tiny pair of royal songs scissors in his chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Albert. \u003c/strong>He hates how fertile he and Victoria are almost as much as I do, and for that, he deserves a little something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>ANOTHER HONORABLE MENTION: Bertie. \u003c/strong>He survived child abuse and now has a pretty great excuse to get out of learning anything ever again. Back to using the abacus as a percussion instrument!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Lady Pam. \u003c/strong>A master class in having your cake and eating it too. Baby daddies: collect them all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Whoever Decided to Put a Huge Boat in Front of New Footman's Twig and Berries\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who needs a censor bar when you've got aquatic vessels?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Hot Italian Chef\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Yeah, I know he wasn't in this episode, but I don't care. He deserves all the nice things and I hope he's hanging in there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/15/victoria-season-1-premiere-recap-bow-down/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Bow Down\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the writers obliterated our hearts by killing off Babyface Maid. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109307\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/depressed-wine-drinking-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will this week's episode involve Babyface Maid suddenly bolting out of bed and shouting, \"PSYCH!\"? Or maybe Hot Italian Chef will wake up and realize that all of episode four was just a really bad dream? Let's find out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out the nightmare is unfortunately very real (see above sobbing wino gif). Things take another dark turn when Victoria and two of her bazillion kids are out for a carriage ride. An old lady cradling a baby reveals herself to actually be a pissed off Irish dude cradling a gun!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The guy on the left is like, \u003cem>Good luck, Victoria! I'm out of here!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109285\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-circle-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, the guy in the middle is like, \u003cem>Can someone pass me some popcorn?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-109286\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1020x623.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-160x98.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-800x489.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-768x469.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1200x733.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/assassination-popcorn-1920x1173.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, the wannabe assassin is stopped and apprehended. Now that we know everyone is safe, allow me to share my ranking of all the wannabe assassins we've met over the past three seasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Last place goes to Season 2 Wannabe Assassin. Remember him? Yeah, I didn't think so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Second place goes to Season 1 Wannabe Assassin, who has probably already been reincarnated and won a season of \u003cem>Project Runway.\u003c/em> Just look at how he draped the fabric on his regicide-themed dress form!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-101789\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-1020x596.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"374\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-1020x596.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-160x93.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-800x467.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-768x448.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-960x561.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-240x140.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-375x219.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/Screen-Shot-2017-03-04-at-9.46.50-PM-1180x689-copy-520x304.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And first place goes to this brand new assassin because he got gussied up in elder drag, which shows a high level of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent. I look forward to seeing him compete on Season 12 of \u003cem>RuPaul's Drag Race\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's cleared up, let's continue with the story...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Victoria is so shaken up from the attempt on her life that she accidentally calls her new maid by Babyface Maid's name. Be right back, gotta go concern my neighbors with some more loud sobbing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/emma-stone-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I'm back. The new maid happens to be our old friend, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/jo-1200x675.jpg\">Jo from \u003cem>The Facts of Life\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, who seems to have gotten over being duped by her traitorous crush Nine Fingers. When Victoria tells her that the Season 3 Wannabe Assassin was Irish, Jo blurts out \u003cem>Well, duh!\u003c/em> in the Queen's face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria is confused: \u003cem>Surely, the Irish aren't still mad at me over the potato famine! That was so last season! \u003c/em>So Jo serves the Queen some real talk: \u003cem>Um, yeah, you could say the Irish are still upset about ONE MILLION of their compatriots dying unnecessarily. Oh, and P.S. they want to Irish goodbye right out of your kingdom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109291\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/irish-goodbye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"900\" height=\"506\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Albert introduces the family to a dude he met at Cambridge who is going to help Bertie stop being so dumb. Vicky Jr. wants to know why she doesn't get a tutor too. Instead of explaining that a major tenet of the patriarchy is to keep women subjugated by depriving them of access to education, Albert opts for a simpler answer: \"You have your aunt Xenadora.\" Ah, what a comfort\u003cem> that\u003c/em> is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/feodora-victoria-scary-creepy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because the writers want to distract us from the fact that they BRUTALLY KILLED OFF BABYFACE MAID FOR NO REASON, we're off on another road trip (I'll be more amenable to forgiveness if there's more skinny dipping, just saying).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This time, the gang is heading to Ireland so that the Queen can show her face and be like, \u003cem>Hey, y'all. Sorry about the potato thing! Now, will you stop trying to kill me? Also, does Bono live around here?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they arrive, they don't run into any members of U2 but do meet up with Lord Pam's wife. Here's the 411 on her (according to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Temple,_Viscountess_Palmerston\">her Wikipedia page\u003c/a>):\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Her brother was none other than Lord M.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her first husband was kind of a dud, so she cheated on him A LOT.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her favorite side-piece was Lord Pam.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Once Hubby #1 kicked the bucket, she got hitched to Lord Pam at the ripe age of 52 (Stella got her groove back!).\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Her five children were allegedly fathered by Hubby #1, but rumor has it that one was Lord Pam's and another belonged to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlo_Andrea_Pozzo_di_Borgo\">a Corsican dude with a thing for Russia\u003c/a>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Oh, yeah, and she was a beekeeper!\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109292\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/beekeeper-lord-pam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What an outfit!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109293\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/beekeeper-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Pam's mansion, everyone sits for a meal and Disney Villain shares his thoughts on how women are all idiots, especially Disney Princess. New Footman briefly considers murdering Disney Villain with a tiny pair of scissors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109294\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/scissors-victoria.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lord Pam calls Disney Villain a boar, so he does this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109295\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/boar.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone wishes they had tiny scissors on hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Albert finds out what we already know thanks to Wikipedia: one of Lady Pam's daughters from her previous marriage looks an awful lot like Lord Pam. Because Albert isn't wearing any pearls to clutch, he settles for verbally expressing his shock: \"Dear God, we are among barbarians!\" Um, Al? You married your first cousin. You can get off your high horse now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dark hallway, New Footman seductively whispers to Disney Princess: \"Listen close, your grace. You can hear those waves.\" The skinny dip probability meter just went way up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109296\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/pull-your-pants-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the royal bedroom, Victoria and Albert are fighting again. You know who can't get into stupid fights with their spouse anymore? Babyface Maid! Because she's dead! Life is short! Get over the petty BS! Quit being brats! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite my impassioned overuse of exclamation points, they continue bickering. Albert tells Victoria that both he and Xenadora think that she's been making terrible choices since giving birth to Baby #6. This does not go over well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \"I don't shed a part of my brain every time I have a baby! Dear God, Albert, what has she been saying to you? I was speaking tonight and you rolled your eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Albert:\u003c/strong> \"You were not meant to see that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oof, this is painful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98398\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/britney-cringe.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to check in on what weird stuff Xenadora is up to back in London. Oh, nothing major, just pressuring the kids to drink alcohol with their breakfast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109298\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/happy-hour-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109297\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/im-not-a-regular-mom-im-a-cool-mom.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Ireland, Lady Pam blows Victoria's mind by detailing how she and Lord Pam are in an open relationship and that, when the beehive is a-rockin', they agree not to come a-knockin'. Victoria thinks to herself, \u003cem>Well, if Albert keeps up this bratty thing, maybe Baby #7 can be fathered by someone else (perhaps even someone I'm not related to!).\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the beach, Disney Princess is on a stroll, thinking about where she can get a pair of tiny scissors when she runs into a naked post-skinny-dip New Footman! Bingo! The \"Field Trip = Nudity\" formula never fails on this show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109299\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1020x605.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-160x95.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-800x474.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-768x455.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM-1200x711.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-1.58.01-AM.png 1380w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is that a boat on its side or are you just happy to see me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The correct answer is both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New Footman eventually gets dressed, but from the thirsty look on Disney Princess' face, she's already undressing him again with her eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109308\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/undressing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about how both of them find themselves without power, he with an abusive boss and she with an abusive husband. Not one to waste any time 'cause people are known to CONTRACT CHOLERA AND SUDDENLY DIE AROUND HERE (still bitter about it, can you tell?), Disney Princess says, \"I should like you to kiss me.\" New Footman proves that he has game by saying, \"I offer you love, Disney Princess. Nothing less.\" Then they make out at long last, and New Footman's nose gets very squished!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109300\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1020x569.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-160x89.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1200x670.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/Screen-Shot-2019-02-09-at-2.09.54-AM.png 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the mansion, Victoria wakes up from a nap and pukes. Hope y'all enjoyed the one or two episodes this season without a pregnancy because Baby #7 is already on the way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109301\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/push-computer-away-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Lord Pam tells Disney Princess that he knows she has \"an itch\" and that she shouldn't let a poor person scratch it. Too late!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109302\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/cat-scratching-another-cat_o_679990.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, the gang continues onto Dublin where Victoria has to befriend a Catholic cardinal. Their interaction goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, my bad about the famine and not dropping by sooner. We cool? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cardinal:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I guess so, yeah. Hey, look, I got you a bird. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Victoria:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>That's nice, but I don't want it. *opens cage and lets bird fly away* Bye, bird!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>War between Catholics and Protestants: postponed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward and the gang arrives back in London to discover that Bertie learned French while they were away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria also discovers that he has something that looks like a rash on his wrist. OMG, is Xenadora not only getting the children drunk, but abusing them too? Say it ain't so! I prefer her to stay creepy and sneaky, yet harmless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Disneyworld, Disney Princess finds some leftover sand in her traveling hat. She sensually uses it to exfoliate her lips because everyone on this show is a little bit of a weirdo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109303\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/exfoliate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unbeknownst to her, Disney Villain sees the whole thing and marches over to some playboy club to threaten Lord Pam over bedding his wife. Despite me chanting \"Fight! Fight! Fight!\" at my screen, all that happens is Disney Villain drops a glass on the ground. Step it up, \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> writers! The boys on \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a> put each other's heads into roaring fireplaces, attempt to thumb each other's eyes out and throw coins in each other's faces!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the palace, Jo informs Victoria that she should be concerned about Bertie. Cut to Victoria catching Cambridge Tutor Dude as he's abusing Bertie! We don't get to see what his punishment is, but I'm gonna guess that tiny scissors are involved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Albert is beside himself over the abuse, but manages to focus on a silver lining: \"Thank God we have no more children for me to damage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Victoria doesn't waste any time bursting that bubble with news of Baby #7. Albert looks like he isn't sure if he's going to cry or puke or both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-109305\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"235\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Same, bro. Same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Cambridge Tutor Dude.\u003c/strong> I'm not a huge fan of kids either, which is why my job doesn't involve spending all my time with them. This guy needs to get some therapy and then get another job... if he isn't already in a shallow grave with a tiny pair of royal songs scissors in his chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Albert. \u003c/strong>He hates how fertile he and Victoria are almost as much as I do, and for that, he deserves a little something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>ANOTHER HONORABLE MENTION: Bertie. \u003c/strong>He survived child abuse and now has a pretty great excuse to get out of learning anything ever again. Back to using the abacus as a percussion instrument!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Lady Pam. \u003c/strong>A master class in having your cake and eating it too. Baby daddies: collect them all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SILVER: Whoever Decided to Put a Huge Boat in Front of New Footman's Twig and Berries\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who needs a censor bar when you've got aquatic vessels?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>GOLD: Hot Italian Chef\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Yeah, I know he wasn't in this episode, but I don't care. He deserves all the nice things and I hope he's hanging in there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108303/victoria-season-3-finale-recap-matchmaker-matchmaker\">'Victoria' Season 3 Finale Recap: Matchmaker, Matchmaker\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108301/victoria-season-3-episode-7-recap-california-love\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: California Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108299/victoria-season-3-episode-6-recap-love-on-the-brain\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: Love on the Brain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108293/victoria-season-3-episode-5-recap-on-the-road-again\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: On The Road Again\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108291/victoria-season-3-episode-4-recap-ill-be-missing-you\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: I'll Be Missing You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108289/victoria-season-3-episode-3-recap-la-isla-bonita\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: La Isla Bonita\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108287/victoria-season-3-episode-2-recap-the-guns-of-brixton\">'Victoria' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: The Guns of Brixton\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/108284/victoria-season-3-premiere-recap-god-save-the-queen\">'Victoria' Season 3 Premiere Recap: God Save The Queen\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97779/victoria-season-2-finale-recap-its-a-hard-knock-life\">'Victoria' Season 2 Finale Recap: It's a Hard-Knock Life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97777/victoria-season-2-episode-6-recap-somewhere-over-the-rainbow\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 6 Recap: Somewhere Over The Rainbow\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97775/victoria-season-2-episode-5-recap-lost-and-found\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: Lost and Found\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97773/victoria-season-2-episode-4-recap-people-are-people\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 4 Recap: People Are People\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97771/victoria-season-2-episode-3-recap-daddy-issues\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 3 Recap: Daddy Issues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97769/victoria-season-2-episode-2-recap-puppy-love\">'Victoria' Season 2 Episode 2 Recap: Puppy Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/97767/victoria-season-2-premiere-recap-baby-its-cold-outside\">'Victoria' Season 2 Premiere Recap: Baby It's Cold Outside\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/56546/victoria-season-1-finale-recap-bye-bye-baby-blues\">'Victoria' Season 1 Finale Recap: Bye Bye Baby Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/19/victoria-season-1-episode-6-recap-cmon-ride-the-train/\">'Victoria' Season 1, Episode 6 Recap: C'mon Ride the Train\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/12/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-5-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 5 Recap: I’ll Make Love to You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/02/05/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-4-recap-wedding-bell-blues/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Wedding Bell Blues\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/29/pbs-victoria-season-1-episode-3-recap-youre-so-vain/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: You’re So Vain\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/01/22/victoria-season-1-episode-2-recap-all-the-single-ladies/\">‘Victoria’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: All The Single Ladies\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "The 10 Best 'Twilight Zone' Episodes to Watch Before Jordan Peele's Reboot",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Fifty-five years after the original went off the air (and two failed re-boots later), Jordan Peele is set to executive produce a new season of \u003cem>The Twilight Zone! \u003c/em>Stars scheduled to travel through another dimension with him include Adam Scott, Jessica Williams, Steven Yeun, DeWanda Wise and Greg Kinnear. While we patiently wait for Peele's masterpieces to arrive, let's take a look back at some of the episodes that made the original so timeless and memorable in the first place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"It's a Good Life\" (1961)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuAzvb38PyI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Psychic demon-child Anthony Fremont is a six-year-old with the entire town of Peaksville living under his thumb. If you think a bad thought about him, sing too loudly or try listening to your gosh-darn Perry Como records, Anthony will end you. Whether he's evaporating dogs, turning men into toys or relegating other children \"to the cornfield,\" little Anthony makes your worst childhood bully look like your BFF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Eye of the Beholder\" (1960)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4qXGByp8DY\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode is a brilliant critique of arbitrary beauty standards and the desire to conform. As Janet Tyler lies in a hospital bed, her head wrapped in heavy bandages, she longs to find out if her facial deformities will be fixed. When her face is finally unwrapped, the big reveal gives us a lot more than we bargained for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Nightmare at 20,000 Feet\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXHKDb0CNjA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What would you do if you saw a gremlin-ape-yeti on the wing of a plane you were traveling in? William Shatner is posed with this conundrum in what is now the most famous \u003cem>Twilight Zone \u003c/em>episode in history. \"Nightmare\" aired in 1963, just a couple of years into commercial air travel's first real boom and came with an ending so disturbing it probably put off a bunch of new travelers for life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"The Lonely\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNPfG3lOvk8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's a convicted murderer sentenced to live the rest of his life alone on a distant asteroid. She's a robot with amazing eyebrows sent to provide him with some desperately needed companionship. This exploration of artificial intelligence and human morality aired 14 years before \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/107664/missing-hbos-westworld-watch-the-amazing-1973-original\">Michael Crichton's \u003cem>Westworld\u003c/em> movie \u003c/a>but explores many of the same themes. Bonus reason to watch? Everyone's weird pronunciation of the word \"robot.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"To Serve Man\" (1962)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk01eeKMD_I\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The moral of this story? When nine-foot tall, Earth-invading aliens tell you they want to take you back to their planet to show you their advanced technology, maybe politely decline, even if they \u003cem>do\u003c/em> pass a polygraph test. The legitimately shocking twist at the end of the episode revolves around a book titled \u003cem>To Serve Man \u003c/em>and a jaw-dropping double-meaning nobody saw coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong> \"Walking Distance\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDtT7CEQcMs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Basically \u003cem>The Twilight Zone\u003c/em>'s version of Eckhart Tolle's \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808\">\u003cem>The Power of Now\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, this episode uses accidental time-travel as a medium to explore the pitfalls of nostalgia and living in the past, as well as the dangers of clinging to one's youth. FYI: devastating leg injuries may result from visiting your younger self, so knock it off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Time Enough At Last\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAxARJyaTEA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode has everything. Nuclear war! Spousal abuse! Incredibly high-waisted pants! Henry Bemis is a bookworm who just wants to be left alone. When he finally gets his wish, the apocalypse doesn't seem so bad at all... until the tiniest of accidents puts an end to it all. The finale is truly one of the cruelest in \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em> history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Ring-a-Ding Girl\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfGOaEL5XKw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The genius of this one is that almost the entire episode is spent making you despise the central character—an arrogant actress named Bunny Blake—only to reveal at the very end that Bunny had everyone's best interests at heart all along. Turns out, she's a real life-saver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"The Invaders\" (1961)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n99iNW9595o\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The most unintentionally hilarious \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em> episode ever centers around a mute woman living in a remote cabin, who begins to be terrorized by tiny, knife-wielding robotic creatures from another planet. The farcical tale all becomes worthwhile in its final moments though, as we realize the woman is not what she first seemed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Living Doll\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSy8Ko1vSKQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Talky Tina left such a mark on the pop culture psyche that tales about haunted dolls have been a staple ever since. The real twist of the episode is that step-dad Erich is so cruel to his wife's daughter and so sadistic in his attempts to destroy the doll, it feels like a genuine triumph when—spoiler alert!—Talky Tina finally does him in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/JordanPeele/status/1042790506109923329\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Jordan Peele's\u003c/em> Twilight Zone \u003cem>premieres April 1, 2019 on CBS.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "While we patiently wait for Peele's version, let's look back at the episodes that made the original so timeless and memorable.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Fifty-five years after the original went off the air (and two failed re-boots later), Jordan Peele is set to executive produce a new season of \u003cem>The Twilight Zone! \u003c/em>Stars scheduled to travel through another dimension with him include Adam Scott, Jessica Williams, Steven Yeun, DeWanda Wise and Greg Kinnear. While we patiently wait for Peele's masterpieces to arrive, let's take a look back at some of the episodes that made the original so timeless and memorable in the first place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"It's a Good Life\" (1961)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IuAzvb38PyI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IuAzvb38PyI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Psychic demon-child Anthony Fremont is a six-year-old with the entire town of Peaksville living under his thumb. If you think a bad thought about him, sing too loudly or try listening to your gosh-darn Perry Como records, Anthony will end you. Whether he's evaporating dogs, turning men into toys or relegating other children \"to the cornfield,\" little Anthony makes your worst childhood bully look like your BFF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Eye of the Beholder\" (1960)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/g4qXGByp8DY'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/g4qXGByp8DY'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>This episode is a brilliant critique of arbitrary beauty standards and the desire to conform. As Janet Tyler lies in a hospital bed, her head wrapped in heavy bandages, she longs to find out if her facial deformities will be fixed. When her face is finally unwrapped, the big reveal gives us a lot more than we bargained for.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Nightmare at 20,000 Feet\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/fXHKDb0CNjA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/fXHKDb0CNjA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>What would you do if you saw a gremlin-ape-yeti on the wing of a plane you were traveling in? William Shatner is posed with this conundrum in what is now the most famous \u003cem>Twilight Zone \u003c/em>episode in history. \"Nightmare\" aired in 1963, just a couple of years into commercial air travel's first real boom and came with an ending so disturbing it probably put off a bunch of new travelers for life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"The Lonely\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/JNPfG3lOvk8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/JNPfG3lOvk8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>He's a convicted murderer sentenced to live the rest of his life alone on a distant asteroid. She's a robot with amazing eyebrows sent to provide him with some desperately needed companionship. This exploration of artificial intelligence and human morality aired 14 years before \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/107664/missing-hbos-westworld-watch-the-amazing-1973-original\">Michael Crichton's \u003cem>Westworld\u003c/em> movie \u003c/a>but explores many of the same themes. Bonus reason to watch? Everyone's weird pronunciation of the word \"robot.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"To Serve Man\" (1962)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/dk01eeKMD_I'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/dk01eeKMD_I'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The moral of this story? When nine-foot tall, Earth-invading aliens tell you they want to take you back to their planet to show you their advanced technology, maybe politely decline, even if they \u003cem>do\u003c/em> pass a polygraph test. The legitimately shocking twist at the end of the episode revolves around a book titled \u003cem>To Serve Man \u003c/em>and a jaw-dropping double-meaning nobody saw coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong> \"Walking Distance\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/tDtT7CEQcMs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/tDtT7CEQcMs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Basically \u003cem>The Twilight Zone\u003c/em>'s version of Eckhart Tolle's \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808\">\u003cem>The Power of Now\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, this episode uses accidental time-travel as a medium to explore the pitfalls of nostalgia and living in the past, as well as the dangers of clinging to one's youth. FYI: devastating leg injuries may result from visiting your younger self, so knock it off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Time Enough At Last\" (1959)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/UAxARJyaTEA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/UAxARJyaTEA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>This episode has everything. Nuclear war! Spousal abuse! Incredibly high-waisted pants! Henry Bemis is a bookworm who just wants to be left alone. When he finally gets his wish, the apocalypse doesn't seem so bad at all... until the tiniest of accidents puts an end to it all. The finale is truly one of the cruelest in \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em> history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Ring-a-Ding Girl\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/gfGOaEL5XKw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/gfGOaEL5XKw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The genius of this one is that almost the entire episode is spent making you despise the central character—an arrogant actress named Bunny Blake—only to reveal at the very end that Bunny had everyone's best interests at heart all along. Turns out, she's a real life-saver.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"The Invaders\" (1961)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/n99iNW9595o'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/n99iNW9595o'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The most unintentionally hilarious \u003cem>Twilight Zone\u003c/em> episode ever centers around a mute woman living in a remote cabin, who begins to be terrorized by tiny, knife-wielding robotic creatures from another planet. The farcical tale all becomes worthwhile in its final moments though, as we realize the woman is not what she first seemed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Living Doll\" (1963)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/hSy8Ko1vSKQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/hSy8Ko1vSKQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Talky Tina left such a mark on the pop culture psyche that tales about haunted dolls have been a staple ever since. The real twist of the episode is that step-dad Erich is so cruel to his wife's daughter and so sadistic in his attempts to destroy the doll, it feels like a genuine triumph when—spoiler alert!—Talky Tina finally does him in.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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}
},
"city-arts": {
"id": "city-arts",
"title": "City Arts & Lectures",
"info": "A one-hour radio program to hear celebrated writers, artists and thinkers address contemporary ideas and values, often discussing the creative process. Please note: tapes or transcripts are not available",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/05/cityartsandlecture-300x300.jpg",
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"airtime": "SUN 1pm-2pm, TUE 10pm, WED 1am",
"meta": {
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"source": "City Arts & Lectures"
},
"link": "https://www.cityarts.net",
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"rss": "https://www.cityarts.net/feed/"
}
},
"closealltabs": {
"id": "closealltabs",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/closealltabs",
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"order": 1
},
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"id": "code-switch-life-kit",
"title": "Code Switch / Life Kit",
"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"meta": {
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw",
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},
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"id": "forum",
"title": "Forum",
"tagline": "The conversation starts here",
"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 9
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz",
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"airtime": "SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm",
"meta": {
"site": "radio",
"source": "WNYC"
},
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"subscribe": {
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/freakonomics-radio/id354668519",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/",
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},
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"id": "fresh-air",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"info": "A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. Hosted by Robin Young, Jeremy Hobson and Tonya Mosley.",
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},
"hidden-brain": {
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"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "NPR"
},
"link": "/radio/program/hidden-brain",
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"how-i-built-this": {
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"title": "How I Built This with Guy Raz",
"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
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},
"link": "/radio/program/how-i-built-this",
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"npr": "https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/3zxy",
"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-i-built-this-with-guy-raz/id1150510297?mt=2",
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"hyphenacion": {
"id": "hyphenacion",
"title": "Hyphenación",
"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Hyphenacion_FinalAssets_PodcastTile.png",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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"order": 15
},
"link": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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"spotify": "https://open.spotify.com/show/2p3Fifq96nw9BPcmFdIq0o?si=39209f7b25774f38",
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},
"jerrybrown": {
"id": "jerrybrown",
"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-Political-Mind-of-Jerry-Brown-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
"meta": {
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"order": 18
},
"link": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
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}
},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
}
},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
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"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
"id": "masters-of-scale",
"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
"tagline": "A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids",
"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/mindshift/",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 12
},
"link": "/podcasts/mindshift",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
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}
},
"morning-edition": {
"id": "morning-edition",
"title": "Morning Edition",
"info": "\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 3am-9am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Morning-Edition-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/programs/morning-edition/",
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"link": "/radio/program/morning-edition"
},
"onourwatch": {
"id": "onourwatch",
"title": "On Our Watch",
"tagline": "Deeply-reported investigative journalism",
"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/On-Our-Watch-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 11
},
"link": "/podcasts/onourwatch",
"subscribe": {
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM2MC9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbD9zYz1nb29nbGVwb2RjYXN0cw",
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},
"on-the-media": {
"id": "on-the-media",
"title": "On The Media",
"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
"airtime": "SUN 2pm-3pm, MON 12am-1am",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/onTheMedia.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.wnycstudios.org/shows/otm",
"meta": {
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"source": "wnyc"
},
"link": "/radio/program/on-the-media",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/on-the-media/id73330715?mt=2",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/On-the-Media-p69/",
"rss": "http://feeds.wnyc.org/onthemedia"
}
},
"pbs-newshour": {
"id": "pbs-newshour",
"title": "PBS NewsHour",
"info": "Analysis, background reports and updates from the PBS NewsHour putting today's news in context.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 3pm-4pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/PBS-News-Hour-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.pbs.org/newshour/",
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"source": "pbs"
},
"link": "/radio/program/pbs-newshour",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pbs-newshour-full-show/id394432287?mt=2",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/PBS-NewsHour---Full-Show-p425698/",
"rss": "https://www.pbs.org/newshour/feeds/rss/podcasts/show"
}
},
"perspectives": {
"id": "perspectives",
"title": "Perspectives",
"tagline": "KQED's series of daily listener commentaries since 1991",
"info": "KQED's series of daily listener commentaries since 1991.",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Perspectives_Tile_Final.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/perspectives/",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 14
},
"link": "/perspectives",
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