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These people don't appreciate a fine woman when she's sipping tea right in front of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley brings up that time Daisy lost her sh*t on her father-in-law's new landlord and ensured his eviction. Daisy self-flogs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Agent-seeker meets with Mary. She breaks her new role to him and he tries not to burn everything to the ground. They talk about pigs a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk outside, Mrs. Hughes incredulously repeats Robert's version of \"Let them eat cake\" to Carson. Have her reception in the servants hall? As if! She doesn't want to be a servant on her wedding day. Carson counters: \u003cem>But we'll still invite these rich people who don't actually value me at all, but whom I live to serve, right???\u003c/em> Mrs. Hughes gives him a side-eye and then this exchange takes place:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Mrs. Hughes:\u003c/strong> \u003c/em>\"Why? Did you think you would have to get married without Lady Mary to witness it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Carson:\u003c/strong> \u003c/em>\"She's an important figure in my life, Mrs. Hughes. I won't apologize.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No one said marriage was easy, y'all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's mansion, cousin Isobel, Robert, the doctor whose name I never remember, and the Countess sit around and argue some more about this hospital take-over. Robert says something glib about wanting to save lives. His mother hits back: \"If you can't say anything helpful, Robert, please be silent.\" Although a bit long, this should have been the title of the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel wants to get Cora involved because she knows Cora agrees with her side of things. I don't 100% understand what all this fuss is about and why it deserves a multi-episode arc, but I always side with the Dowager. Dear cousin Isobel, know your place. You just got here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, the newbie footman Andy talks about how he likes it there and wants to walk and explore more. Thomas offers to join because Andy is cute and Thomas hasn't gotten some in a while. Andy says something to the effect of \u003cem>no homo\u003c/em>. Mrs. Hughes agrees. Why is she so invested in keeping Thomas celibate? Just 'cause you have issues with your body and sex doesn't mean others can't get some. Let Thomas live!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Carson makes fun of the fact that Thomas might be laid off soon. I hope you're not a fan of Mrs. Hughes and Carson 'cause their wedding is shaping up to be a reprise of the wedding in \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>. \u003cstrong>13-year-old spoiler:\u003c/strong> It's bloody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in town, Molesley follows a bunch of kids and asks to talk to their teacher. He could definitely use more schooling. Let's hope that's what this is about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, some sexist is yelling at Edith on the phone again. She tells him to calm down. By now, we people of the future know this only makes matters worse, but it's 1925 and Edith doesn't know anything about conflict resolution.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith goes to complain to her family about how hated she is. Mary rolls her eyes. Like I said last week, these two need to just duel it out already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More talk about the boring hospital thing, which is thankfully interrupted by the children. Mary wants to take the kids on a field trip to see pigs at a local farm, which conveniently is the very farm where Edith kept Marigold hidden while she was pretending not to be post-partum depressed last year. Edith gets super anxious. Mary calls her a ninny. Same ol', same ol'.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley finds Daisy and tells her about his visit with the town schoolmaster. He gives her old exams from previous years so she can be prepared to take one of her own. Daisy is like \u003cem>This is nice and all, but I'm pretty busy planning to meddle some more in my father-in-law's affairs. K thanks bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs in Mary's bedroom, Mary asks Anna why she's still a British lady reincarnation of Eeyore, despite her and her husband being acquitted. Anna brings up the time she had to go buy Mary a diaphragm (good times!) and then confides about her miscarriages. Mary feels bad and probably thinks something along the lines of: \u003cem>My maid has more problems than a math book.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Isobel runs into her ex. He talks about how the locals need better health care and the hospital take-over will make things better. Like last week, he mentions how glad he is that they are allies on this issue. And, again, Isobel sings Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.\" She then gets excited about battling the Dowager and predicts there will be \"wigs on the green.\" 2016 translation: \u003ca href=\"https://45.media.tumblr.com/9539c1e5a2c819760bcb1d72b458dcbe/tumblr_nu9jeoSHel1sar3c7o1_500.gif\" target=\"_blank\">wigs are about to be snatched\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the servants' quarters, Thomas offers to help cute newbie Andy wind the clocks and is spurned for the 908th time. It's really too bad \u003cem>He's Just Not That Into You\u003c/em> wasn't out back in 1925. Thomas could really use it right about now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the village farm, Mary is busy talking about pigs, while Mr. Drew and Cora are trying to speed things along before his crazy jealous wife a.k.a. Marigold's fake mom comes back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Too late! His wife gets all mama bear with Marigold and Mr. Drew implores \"Let her go, Margie.\" She begrudgingly does and Cora gets Marigold the hell out of there. This goes down in history as the shortest and most polite hostage crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Thomas plans to go on a job interview nearby. He hopes there are cute boys there who will let him wind their clocks, if you know what I mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary tells Carson that, despite what her father stupidly said about making up the servants' hall for his wedding reception, it can be held in any of the upstairs rooms. Robert is sour about her fixing his faux pas and still has no clue why what he said was demeaning and offensive. Some things never change!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe-polish room, where everything always happens, Anna is in the dark crying again. Bates tries to comfort her with trite passages he read in a greeting card once. He asks if she would consider adoption. Anna says she would, but that Bates is \"tribal\" and wants his own child. He's doesn't deny this and then continues to be entirely unhelpful: \"To me, we are one person. And that person can't have children.\" What poetry! I'm not sure who I'm more annoyed with: Bates or the writer who got paid to write that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, the sexist phone caller is now yelling at Edith IRL. She fires him on the spot. No, actually she just takes it 'cause her superpower is soaking in all forms of criticism and ire like a sponge and then crying it all out at night and sometimes even almost \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\" target=\"_blank\">burning down the house \u003c/a>while she's at it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas shows up for his interview and any hopes for sexy clock-winding are quickly dashed because of an impressive gaydar. \"You're a delicate looking fella, aren't you?\" the homophobe interviewer asks, before bullying Thomas for not being married. Add this dude to the list of people Thomas will most likely murder soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Mary tells Anna she wants to help her with this whole no babies thing. OMG, is she going to find her a surrogate and help her pretend she was pregnant all along, \u003ca href=\"http://blackbag.gawker.com/did-beyonce-fake-her-pregnancy-1693597363\" target=\"_blank\">like Beyonce (allegedly) did\u003c/a> with Blue Ivy? Oh, they're just going to visit a doctor to see what's up. That works too, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna keeps refusing help, but Mary points out all the times Anna has helped her in a time of need: hiding \"that fearful Dutch thingamajig\" (we all must call contraceptives this from now on) and carrying the Turk's dead body out of her room. They have a good, long laugh thinking about how Mary killed a man with her vagina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It only takes 3.2 seconds for Anna to turn back into Eeyore. She mopes about how going to the doctor or even a potential operation probably won't work. The only way Mary avoids strangling her sadsack neck is to ask her if she'll tell Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna says she won't. \"He'd help too much.\" Translation: he would try killing someone again and this final season doesn't have enough running time to include a third instance of Bates maybe going to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Have y'all ever noticed that Bates is basically Lennie from \u003cem>Of Mice and Men\u003c/em>? Always meaning well, but accidentally hurting or killing things? That novel takes place in the 1930s, which could mean that this entire show is an origin story and Bates does something awful at Downton and must flee to California's Salinas Valley to assume a new identity. I wouldn't rule it out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their bedroom, Cora and Robert talk about how Mrs. Drew wants to \"swallow [Marigold] whole.\" Cora asks about the possibility of making the Drews move 'cause she knows that, once Mrs. Drew finds a windowless white van, she'll be kidnapping Marigold tout de suite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter encourages Daisy not to be angry with Cora for not being able to help Daisy's father-in-law. Daisy's A+ response: \"It's the system's fault! That's what makes me angry: the system! And she's part of it!\" Out of the mouth of immortal, ageless, partially educated babes! Revolution is nigh! Tom Branson would be so proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Edith and her aunt drink booze out of tiny glasses and talk about fine dining, shopping and the joys of living alone. On that last note, Rosamund correctly points out: \"That's the danger of living alone. It can be very hard to give up.\" I'm so with her on this one. Nothing's better than coming home and doing whatever the hell you want without someone being there to judge you for eating raw cookie dough out of a bowl in your underwear while watching a marathon of \u003cem>The Great British Baking Show\u003c/em>. Oh, you don't do that? Uh, yeah, me neither. Anywaaay, how is super chill Rosamund related to her loser brother Robert? It boggles the mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at Downton, Mrs. Hughes tells Carson she doesn't want to get married at Downton because it's not who they are. Carson, who's convinced himself that he's a part of the Crawley family, despite the whole waiting on them hand and foot for a lifetime thing, doesn't agree, but plans to decline the offer because happy wife, happy life or whatever people say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Bates and Anna talk about her trip to London. Anna alludes to her secret gyno appointment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bates:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> Well, try and put your feet up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Anna:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> Yes, I \u003cem>will\u003c/em> be \u003ca href=\"http://www.wanrooemed.com/UploadFiles/201311164042200778.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">putting my feet up\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This marks the first time a scene featuring these two has made me laugh. Well done, all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, Cora mentions that she's meeting with the Dowager, the village doctor and Isobel about hospital bizness. Then we get a peek into what a happy marriage looks like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Robert:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> [referring to inviting Isobel] Is that wise?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> At least she's an ally I can rely on, even if I can't rely on you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> I didn't tell you about the meeting bec...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Cora:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> [to Mary] \"What time's your train?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brrr, it's gonna be cold in the marital bed tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The family switches the topic over to Carson's wedding reception. Carson tries to get out of having it at Downton, but Lady Mary vows that the reception will be there if it's the last thing she does. Uh oh, Mrs. Hughes is going to be soooo pissed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hospital, Cora admits she's on Team Give Up the Hospital. The Countess is desperate to change the tide with some manipulative psychology: \"Are you saying Dr. Clarkson is a bad doctor?\" Cora doesn't find this as amusing as I do and decides to leave. Isobel rubs salt in the wound on her way out: \"I'll come with you. We must give them time to gnash their teeth alone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the future kidnapper's farm, Robert tries to convince Mr. Drew to move away before his wife does something dumb. It doesn't work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Mrs. Hughes blows up when Carson tells her Lady Mary insists they have their reception upstairs. \"Heaven forfend we lowly folk should do anything to contradict the \u003cem>blessed\u003c/em> Lady Mary!\" Yeesh! This is getting ugly fast! Remember the forehead kisses, guys?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not because Mrs. Hughes is still at it: \"We'll be doing it your way for the next 30 years, I know that well enough, but the wedding day is mine!\" Good grief, Mrs. Hughes has become such a drama queen since she's gotten engaged. First the whole I never want to have sex or be naked ever again thing and now this? Also, it's super sad that she's resigned to doing everything Carson's way for the next 30 years. Although I guess a dark silver lining is that, let's be real, neither of them have another 30 years left. (Hey, don't get mad at me for speaking truth; people lived shorter lives back then!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Baxter...you know what, I think you should just see it for yourself 'cause I'm too busy laughing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/685933485920391169\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"No.\" Ha ha ha.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. Cora has a secret plan to help Daisy so she'll shut up about her father-in-law and the evil power structures that keep the poor in their place, while making the 1% richer. Bloody revolution has been averted...for now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Anna finds out she suffers from a rude-sounding condition called \"cervical incompetence.\" (Between this and preeclampsia, I've learned a whole lot about women's reproductive health, haven't you?) It's okay though 'cause the doctor can fix it with an out-patient operation done at her own house! How much do you wanna bet that she tries to have this operation done without Bates knowing and he happens to walk in on it and thinks something else is going on and Bates kills the doctor and maybe Anna too? I bet you 75 cents (I need quarters for laundry).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Bates knows something's up because Anna is acting \"bouncy\" instead of weeping in the shoe polish room like usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, there are a ton of farm animals in pens being judged. The whole gang is in attendance, including Mrs. Drew, who instantly locks eyes on Marigold. Amber alert in 3, 2, 1...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy is bowling nearby and Thomas insists on embarrassing himself further by first asking Andy to come with him to see Mary's pigs (declined) and then to help teach Andy how to bowl (double declined). Mrs. Patmore is there to say \u003cem>Dude, give it a rest. He's not gay!\u003c/em> Thomas still thinks he is. This better be going somewhere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Drew stares at Marigold some more. Okay, I get it. You grew attached to the baby when you had her for a few months, but you have a boatload of kids already. Focus on them and leave this little heiress alone. I know you won't though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Carson argue some more about this stupid reception. Just don't get married!!! Problem solved!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First prize for fattest pig or whatever goes to Lady Mary's swine! Everyone celebrates for exactly two seconds before they realize Marigold is missing! Didn't I tell y'all???\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone hyperventilates and runs around for a while, until they remember that, oh yeah, that obsessed, unhinged lady probably took her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang heads to the Drew farm, where Mr. Drew finds his wife cradling and humming to Marigold. \"She was bored,\" she explains. \"They were paying her no attention, none at all!\" Okay, she's right about the last bit. These kids are such afterthoughts. But the crazy unravels further. \"Of course I brought her here. This is her home!\" Girl, please give it a rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Drew calmly begs her to hand over the child, the same way you talk to someone pointing a gun at your face. She eventually does and then dramatically watches him give Marigold back from a window.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Drew tells Robert he will start looking for a new home (one close to a loony bin presumably). Robert relays the news to Edith and Cora and they're like \u003cem>Ugh, finally. Anyway, what's for dinner? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Bates and Mrs. Drew: \u003c/strong>Both kid obsessed. How about they run away together? Mr. Drew and Anna will be sad at first, but will eventually find solace in each other. Mr. Drew will finally stop making that frowny face all the time and Anna will quit crying while surrounded by shoes. It's a win-win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Anna:\u003c/strong> I forgot about all the gangster stuff she's done in the past. Buying contraceptives and moving dead bodies? That counts for something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Mr. Drew:\u003c/strong> It's a hard knock life when you can't stop your wife from kidnapping other people's children, but he does the best that he can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Daisy:\u003c/strong> In last week's rankings, I awarded Daisy bronze for telling it like it is. She turned up the heat even more this week with her still-relevant critique of society's inherently evil and unfair power structures. If Tumblr was around in the 1920s, Daisy would have had so many social justice-inclined followers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Rosamund:\u003c/strong> Robert may have inherited the mansion, but Rosamund inherited all the badass coolness from the Dowager. Keep doing you! Just say no to roommates!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/ros1.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19812\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19812\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/ros1.gif\" alt=\"rosamund downton gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"139\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 6 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/03/downton-abbey-season-6-premiere-recap-lets-talk-about-sex/\" target=\"_blank\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Premiere Recap: Let’s Talk About Sex\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Lots of baby mama drama on this week's episode. Read all about it!",
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"description": "Lots of baby mama drama on this week's episode. Read all about it!",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 2 Recap: All That She Wants Is Another Baby | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Did you cool down from all that hanky panky talk in \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/03/downton-abbey-season-6-premiere-recap-lets-talk-about-sex/\" target=\"_blank\">last week's season premiere\u003c/a>? Yeah, me neither, but the show must go on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A stranger cycles towards the Abbey. He might just be the mailman. Or he's arrived to either blackmail Lady Mary for having sex or accuse Bates or Anna of killing some rando. If it's the latter, I quit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy runs around with a plate of butter being cute. Other less cute people also do stuff. Molesley irons the pages of a newspaper (think about this next time a Crawley boo-hoos over not having as much money as in the good ol' days).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Robert and his second and third favorite daughters (R.I.P. Sybil) gossip about Rose. Remember her? She dated a black jazz musician and married a Jewish dude from a broken home? The scandal! Well, she has a Hamptons house now and might be pregnant. Here's hoping Robert isn't in charge of medical decisions during her delivery (again, R.I.P. Sybil).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone downstairs wants to speak to the Agent of the estate. Mary, who has taken over those duties, says \"I want to be left to manage him. It's my job!\" Carson stops in his tracks and raises his eyebrows. He holds back from screaming: \"But you have ovaries!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert asks Carson about his wedding a.k.a. the day he and Mrs. Hughes start having all the sex. Carson shares that they've set a date, but are still looking for a place to hold the reception. Mary says, \u003cem>Here, duh!\u003c/em> Robert comes in for the assist and...fails miserably, as he almost always does. \"We can decorate the servants hall and make it look really special.\" This statement is the sequel to \"Let them eat cake.\" Off with his super rich, blinded-by-a-lifetime-of-privilege head!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary gets this and reprimands her embarrassing dad: \"I don't want to discuss it now in a rush. We'll have a proper conversation later.\" *cue a chorus of middle schoolers saying oooooo after a classmate is called to the principal's office*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Did you notice that everyone completely ignored Edith's existence and the two things she said in this scene? You probably ignored her too! No wonder Cora didn't even bother showing up to this lame breakfast. These people don't appreciate a fine woman when she's sipping tea right in front of them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley brings up that time Daisy lost her sh*t on her father-in-law's new landlord and ensured his eviction. Daisy self-flogs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Agent-seeker meets with Mary. She breaks her new role to him and he tries not to burn everything to the ground. They talk about pigs a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk outside, Mrs. Hughes incredulously repeats Robert's version of \"Let them eat cake\" to Carson. Have her reception in the servants hall? As if! She doesn't want to be a servant on her wedding day. Carson counters: \u003cem>But we'll still invite these rich people who don't actually value me at all, but whom I live to serve, right???\u003c/em> Mrs. Hughes gives him a side-eye and then this exchange takes place:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Mrs. Hughes:\u003c/strong> \u003c/em>\"Why? Did you think you would have to get married without Lady Mary to witness it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Carson:\u003c/strong> \u003c/em>\"She's an important figure in my life, Mrs. Hughes. I won't apologize.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No one said marriage was easy, y'all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's mansion, cousin Isobel, Robert, the doctor whose name I never remember, and the Countess sit around and argue some more about this hospital take-over. Robert says something glib about wanting to save lives. His mother hits back: \"If you can't say anything helpful, Robert, please be silent.\" Although a bit long, this should have been the title of the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel wants to get Cora involved because she knows Cora agrees with her side of things. I don't 100% understand what all this fuss is about and why it deserves a multi-episode arc, but I always side with the Dowager. Dear cousin Isobel, know your place. You just got here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, the newbie footman Andy talks about how he likes it there and wants to walk and explore more. Thomas offers to join because Andy is cute and Thomas hasn't gotten some in a while. Andy says something to the effect of \u003cem>no homo\u003c/em>. Mrs. Hughes agrees. Why is she so invested in keeping Thomas celibate? Just 'cause you have issues with your body and sex doesn't mean others can't get some. Let Thomas live!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Carson makes fun of the fact that Thomas might be laid off soon. I hope you're not a fan of Mrs. Hughes and Carson 'cause their wedding is shaping up to be a reprise of the wedding in \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>. \u003cstrong>13-year-old spoiler:\u003c/strong> It's bloody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in town, Molesley follows a bunch of kids and asks to talk to their teacher. He could definitely use more schooling. Let's hope that's what this is about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, some sexist is yelling at Edith on the phone again. She tells him to calm down. By now, we people of the future know this only makes matters worse, but it's 1925 and Edith doesn't know anything about conflict resolution.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith goes to complain to her family about how hated she is. Mary rolls her eyes. Like I said last week, these two need to just duel it out already.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More talk about the boring hospital thing, which is thankfully interrupted by the children. Mary wants to take the kids on a field trip to see pigs at a local farm, which conveniently is the very farm where Edith kept Marigold hidden while she was pretending not to be post-partum depressed last year. Edith gets super anxious. Mary calls her a ninny. Same ol', same ol'.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Molesley finds Daisy and tells her about his visit with the town schoolmaster. He gives her old exams from previous years so she can be prepared to take one of her own. Daisy is like \u003cem>This is nice and all, but I'm pretty busy planning to meddle some more in my father-in-law's affairs. K thanks bye! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs in Mary's bedroom, Mary asks Anna why she's still a British lady reincarnation of Eeyore, despite her and her husband being acquitted. Anna brings up the time she had to go buy Mary a diaphragm (good times!) and then confides about her miscarriages. Mary feels bad and probably thinks something along the lines of: \u003cem>My maid has more problems than a math book.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Isobel runs into her ex. He talks about how the locals need better health care and the hospital take-over will make things better. Like last week, he mentions how glad he is that they are allies on this issue. And, again, Isobel sings Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.\" She then gets excited about battling the Dowager and predicts there will be \"wigs on the green.\" 2016 translation: \u003ca href=\"https://45.media.tumblr.com/9539c1e5a2c819760bcb1d72b458dcbe/tumblr_nu9jeoSHel1sar3c7o1_500.gif\" target=\"_blank\">wigs are about to be snatched\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the servants' quarters, Thomas offers to help cute newbie Andy wind the clocks and is spurned for the 908th time. It's really too bad \u003cem>He's Just Not That Into You\u003c/em> wasn't out back in 1925. Thomas could really use it right about now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the village farm, Mary is busy talking about pigs, while Mr. Drew and Cora are trying to speed things along before his crazy jealous wife a.k.a. Marigold's fake mom comes back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Too late! His wife gets all mama bear with Marigold and Mr. Drew implores \"Let her go, Margie.\" She begrudgingly does and Cora gets Marigold the hell out of there. This goes down in history as the shortest and most polite hostage crisis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Thomas plans to go on a job interview nearby. He hopes there are cute boys there who will let him wind their clocks, if you know what I mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Mary tells Carson that, despite what her father stupidly said about making up the servants' hall for his wedding reception, it can be held in any of the upstairs rooms. Robert is sour about her fixing his faux pas and still has no clue why what he said was demeaning and offensive. Some things never change!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe-polish room, where everything always happens, Anna is in the dark crying again. Bates tries to comfort her with trite passages he read in a greeting card once. He asks if she would consider adoption. Anna says she would, but that Bates is \"tribal\" and wants his own child. He's doesn't deny this and then continues to be entirely unhelpful: \"To me, we are one person. And that person can't have children.\" What poetry! I'm not sure who I'm more annoyed with: Bates or the writer who got paid to write that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, the sexist phone caller is now yelling at Edith IRL. She fires him on the spot. No, actually she just takes it 'cause her superpower is soaking in all forms of criticism and ire like a sponge and then crying it all out at night and sometimes even almost \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\" target=\"_blank\">burning down the house \u003c/a>while she's at it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas shows up for his interview and any hopes for sexy clock-winding are quickly dashed because of an impressive gaydar. \"You're a delicate looking fella, aren't you?\" the homophobe interviewer asks, before bullying Thomas for not being married. Add this dude to the list of people Thomas will most likely murder soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Mary tells Anna she wants to help her with this whole no babies thing. OMG, is she going to find her a surrogate and help her pretend she was pregnant all along, \u003ca href=\"http://blackbag.gawker.com/did-beyonce-fake-her-pregnancy-1693597363\" target=\"_blank\">like Beyonce (allegedly) did\u003c/a> with Blue Ivy? Oh, they're just going to visit a doctor to see what's up. That works too, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna keeps refusing help, but Mary points out all the times Anna has helped her in a time of need: hiding \"that fearful Dutch thingamajig\" (we all must call contraceptives this from now on) and carrying the Turk's dead body out of her room. They have a good, long laugh thinking about how Mary killed a man with her vagina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It only takes 3.2 seconds for Anna to turn back into Eeyore. She mopes about how going to the doctor or even a potential operation probably won't work. The only way Mary avoids strangling her sadsack neck is to ask her if she'll tell Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna says she won't. \"He'd help too much.\" Translation: he would try killing someone again and this final season doesn't have enough running time to include a third instance of Bates maybe going to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Have y'all ever noticed that Bates is basically Lennie from \u003cem>Of Mice and Men\u003c/em>? Always meaning well, but accidentally hurting or killing things? That novel takes place in the 1930s, which could mean that this entire show is an origin story and Bates does something awful at Downton and must flee to California's Salinas Valley to assume a new identity. I wouldn't rule it out!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their bedroom, Cora and Robert talk about how Mrs. Drew wants to \"swallow [Marigold] whole.\" Cora asks about the possibility of making the Drews move 'cause she knows that, once Mrs. Drew finds a windowless white van, she'll be kidnapping Marigold tout de suite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter encourages Daisy not to be angry with Cora for not being able to help Daisy's father-in-law. Daisy's A+ response: \"It's the system's fault! That's what makes me angry: the system! And she's part of it!\" Out of the mouth of immortal, ageless, partially educated babes! Revolution is nigh! Tom Branson would be so proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Edith and her aunt drink booze out of tiny glasses and talk about fine dining, shopping and the joys of living alone. On that last note, Rosamund correctly points out: \"That's the danger of living alone. It can be very hard to give up.\" I'm so with her on this one. Nothing's better than coming home and doing whatever the hell you want without someone being there to judge you for eating raw cookie dough out of a bowl in your underwear while watching a marathon of \u003cem>The Great British Baking Show\u003c/em>. Oh, you don't do that? Uh, yeah, me neither. Anywaaay, how is super chill Rosamund related to her loser brother Robert? It boggles the mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at Downton, Mrs. Hughes tells Carson she doesn't want to get married at Downton because it's not who they are. Carson, who's convinced himself that he's a part of the Crawley family, despite the whole waiting on them hand and foot for a lifetime thing, doesn't agree, but plans to decline the offer because happy wife, happy life or whatever people say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Bates and Anna talk about her trip to London. Anna alludes to her secret gyno appointment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Bates:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> Well, try and put your feet up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Anna:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> Yes, I \u003cem>will\u003c/em> be \u003ca href=\"http://www.wanrooemed.com/UploadFiles/201311164042200778.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">putting my feet up\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This marks the first time a scene featuring these two has made me laugh. Well done, all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the dining room, Cora mentions that she's meeting with the Dowager, the village doctor and Isobel about hospital bizness. Then we get a peek into what a happy marriage looks like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Robert:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> [referring to inviting Isobel] Is that wise?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> At least she's an ally I can rely on, even if I can't rely on you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> I didn't tell you about the meeting bec...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Cora:\u003c/em>\u003c/strong> [to Mary] \"What time's your train?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brrr, it's gonna be cold in the marital bed tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The family switches the topic over to Carson's wedding reception. Carson tries to get out of having it at Downton, but Lady Mary vows that the reception will be there if it's the last thing she does. Uh oh, Mrs. Hughes is going to be soooo pissed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hospital, Cora admits she's on Team Give Up the Hospital. The Countess is desperate to change the tide with some manipulative psychology: \"Are you saying Dr. Clarkson is a bad doctor?\" Cora doesn't find this as amusing as I do and decides to leave. Isobel rubs salt in the wound on her way out: \"I'll come with you. We must give them time to gnash their teeth alone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the future kidnapper's farm, Robert tries to convince Mr. Drew to move away before his wife does something dumb. It doesn't work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Mrs. Hughes blows up when Carson tells her Lady Mary insists they have their reception upstairs. \"Heaven forfend we lowly folk should do anything to contradict the \u003cem>blessed\u003c/em> Lady Mary!\" Yeesh! This is getting ugly fast! Remember the forehead kisses, guys?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not because Mrs. Hughes is still at it: \"We'll be doing it your way for the next 30 years, I know that well enough, but the wedding day is mine!\" Good grief, Mrs. Hughes has become such a drama queen since she's gotten engaged. First the whole I never want to have sex or be naked ever again thing and now this? Also, it's super sad that she's resigned to doing everything Carson's way for the next 30 years. Although I guess a dark silver lining is that, let's be real, neither of them have another 30 years left. (Hey, don't get mad at me for speaking truth; people lived shorter lives back then!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Baxter...you know what, I think you should just see it for yourself 'cause I'm too busy laughing:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>\"No.\" Ha ha ha.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. Cora has a secret plan to help Daisy so she'll shut up about her father-in-law and the evil power structures that keep the poor in their place, while making the 1% richer. Bloody revolution has been averted...for now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Anna finds out she suffers from a rude-sounding condition called \"cervical incompetence.\" (Between this and preeclampsia, I've learned a whole lot about women's reproductive health, haven't you?) It's okay though 'cause the doctor can fix it with an out-patient operation done at her own house! How much do you wanna bet that she tries to have this operation done without Bates knowing and he happens to walk in on it and thinks something else is going on and Bates kills the doctor and maybe Anna too? I bet you 75 cents (I need quarters for laundry).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Bates knows something's up because Anna is acting \"bouncy\" instead of weeping in the shoe polish room like usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, there are a ton of farm animals in pens being judged. The whole gang is in attendance, including Mrs. Drew, who instantly locks eyes on Marigold. Amber alert in 3, 2, 1...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy is bowling nearby and Thomas insists on embarrassing himself further by first asking Andy to come with him to see Mary's pigs (declined) and then to help teach Andy how to bowl (double declined). Mrs. Patmore is there to say \u003cem>Dude, give it a rest. He's not gay!\u003c/em> Thomas still thinks he is. This better be going somewhere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Drew stares at Marigold some more. Okay, I get it. You grew attached to the baby when you had her for a few months, but you have a boatload of kids already. Focus on them and leave this little heiress alone. I know you won't though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Carson argue some more about this stupid reception. Just don't get married!!! Problem solved!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First prize for fattest pig or whatever goes to Lady Mary's swine! Everyone celebrates for exactly two seconds before they realize Marigold is missing! Didn't I tell y'all???\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone hyperventilates and runs around for a while, until they remember that, oh yeah, that obsessed, unhinged lady probably took her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang heads to the Drew farm, where Mr. Drew finds his wife cradling and humming to Marigold. \"She was bored,\" she explains. \"They were paying her no attention, none at all!\" Okay, she's right about the last bit. These kids are such afterthoughts. But the crazy unravels further. \"Of course I brought her here. This is her home!\" Girl, please give it a rest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Drew calmly begs her to hand over the child, the same way you talk to someone pointing a gun at your face. She eventually does and then dramatically watches him give Marigold back from a window.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Drew tells Robert he will start looking for a new home (one close to a loony bin presumably). Robert relays the news to Edith and Cora and they're like \u003cem>Ugh, finally. Anyway, what's for dinner? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Bates and Mrs. Drew: \u003c/strong>Both kid obsessed. How about they run away together? Mr. Drew and Anna will be sad at first, but will eventually find solace in each other. Mr. Drew will finally stop making that frowny face all the time and Anna will quit crying while surrounded by shoes. It's a win-win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Anna:\u003c/strong> I forgot about all the gangster stuff she's done in the past. Buying contraceptives and moving dead bodies? That counts for something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Mr. Drew:\u003c/strong> It's a hard knock life when you can't stop your wife from kidnapping other people's children, but he does the best that he can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Daisy:\u003c/strong> In last week's rankings, I awarded Daisy bronze for telling it like it is. She turned up the heat even more this week with her still-relevant critique of society's inherently evil and unfair power structures. If Tumblr was around in the 1920s, Daisy would have had so many social justice-inclined followers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Rosamund:\u003c/strong> Robert may have inherited the mansion, but Rosamund inherited all the badass coolness from the Dowager. Keep doing you! Just say no to roommates!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/ros1.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19812\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19812\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/ros1.gif\" alt=\"rosamund downton gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"139\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 6 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Sure, Beyoncé Will Help: 20 Other Suggestions For Making a Coldplay Halftime Show Less Miserable",
"title": "Sure, Beyoncé Will Help: 20 Other Suggestions For Making a Coldplay Halftime Show Less Miserable",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Yesterday, word swept 'round the web that Beyoncé, who arguably treats every performance like the Super Bowl Halftime Show, would be joining previously announced headliner/complete and total snoozefest Coldplay onstage at Levi's Stadium next month during Super Bowl 50.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, I'm loathe to complain about Beyoncé being added to pretty much anything, but this is a weird choice. It's like booking an Eagles cover band on Quaaludes as your headliner and then casually adding in a brief cameo by Michael Jackson. Beyoncé performed her own Super Bowl Halftime Show just three years ago -- remember? It was so epic \u003ca href=\"http://articles.latimes.com/2013/feb/04/entertainment/la-et-st-super-bowl-blackout-beyonce-20130203\" target=\"_blank\">the electricity went out\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp2cBXvuDf8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't need this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, Beyoncé's being brought in here because a) there's a song on the new Coldplay record in which she performs guest vocals and b) the powers that be are banking on the rule of coolness by proximity, which is the entire reason there's a Coldplay track with Beyonce guest vocals in the first place. This is a naked ratings grab, and also an implicit admission of fear and vulnerability. \u003cem>Please don't think we're lame\u003c/em>, whispers an organization whose paramount event involves, this year, \u003ca href=\"http://greatideas.people.com/2016/01/06/guy-fieri-super-bowl-tailgate-700-dollars/\" target=\"_blank\">a $700 \"Meatball Madness\" tailgate party hosted by Guy Fieri\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Problem is, when you're dealing two artists who have such vastly disparate quantities of skill, star power, dance moves, etc. -- and, to be fair, Beyoncé's entire genre also lends itself much more naturally to the bravado of a stadium show than Coldplay's anemic love songs and flan-like delivery -- you run the risk of the juxtaposition backfiring: of Coldplay appearing \u003cem>even more boring\u003c/em> than they actually are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not that Coldplay doesn't need help -- because they do -- but the enormity of this particular assistance is a little embarrassing for everyone involved. With that in mind, here are some other suggestions for additions to the Halftime Show that would help the Super Bowl appear relevant and in-the-know -- and most importantly, help make a Coldplay set a little less boring.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Carrie's dog Gary, all of 'em \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/12/16/for-those-not-stricken-with-star-wars-fever-carrie-fishers-dog-is-sweet-relief/\" target=\"_blank\">giving zero f*cks\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Steve Harvey, Miss Colombia and Miss Phillippines performing rhythmic gymnastics at center stage\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A drunk hologram Lemmy Kilmister\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2016/01/08/raymond-shrimp-boy-chow-guilty-on-all-162-counts-in-racketeering-murder-trial\" target=\"_blank\">Shrimp Boy\u003c/a> (displays local awareness!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>On that note: The entire Curry family, duh\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The jury from the Netflix series \u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The Oregon militia seizing the arena with unclear demands\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A Bernie Sanders stump speech\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ice-T reciting monologues from \u003cem>Law & Order: SVU\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A live fight to the death between Guy Fieri and the singer from Smash Mouth\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Miley Cyrus, naked, just standing there screaming \"REACT!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/01/07/462245189/federal-judge-says-monkey-cant-own-copyright-to-his-selfie\" target=\"_blank\">The selfie monkey\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Left Shark\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-19796\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-400x227.jpg\" alt=\"AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-400x227.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-800x453.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-768x435.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3.jpg 950w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pharma bro \u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/news/story/2015/12/17/181259/feds_arrest_martin_shkreli_on_fraud_charges?source=npr&category=u.s.\" target=\"_blank\">Martin Shkreli \u003c/a>in a hoodie, making a glum face while recreating \u003ca href=\"http://gawker.com/heres-your-martin-shkreli-perp-walk-schadenfreude-galle-1748514916\" target=\"_blank\">his perp walk\u003c/a> in a circle for an hour\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Gwyneth Paltrow sitting in a chair in a corner and reading her and Chris Martin's divorce papers aloud, word for word\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A long close-up of Jay-Z's face while he's forced to sit and listen to Gwyneth Paltrow talking about anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Testimony from survivors of horrific domestic violence inflicted by NFL players and then a long, detailed explanation of exactly how little those athletes were punished and why\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Just bring in the damn Puppy Bowl and make it an actual part of the Super Bowl already \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-19800\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Sia revealing her face\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Sia performing instead of Coldplay\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "If the NFL knows what's good for 'em, they'll get Riley Curry involved somehow. ",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Yesterday, word swept 'round the web that Beyoncé, who arguably treats every performance like the Super Bowl Halftime Show, would be joining previously announced headliner/complete and total snoozefest Coldplay onstage at Levi's Stadium next month during Super Bowl 50.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, I'm loathe to complain about Beyoncé being added to pretty much anything, but this is a weird choice. It's like booking an Eagles cover band on Quaaludes as your headliner and then casually adding in a brief cameo by Michael Jackson. Beyoncé performed her own Super Bowl Halftime Show just three years ago -- remember? It was so epic \u003ca href=\"http://articles.latimes.com/2013/feb/04/entertainment/la-et-st-super-bowl-blackout-beyonce-20130203\" target=\"_blank\">the electricity went out\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qp2cBXvuDf8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qp2cBXvuDf8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>She doesn't need this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, Beyoncé's being brought in here because a) there's a song on the new Coldplay record in which she performs guest vocals and b) the powers that be are banking on the rule of coolness by proximity, which is the entire reason there's a Coldplay track with Beyonce guest vocals in the first place. This is a naked ratings grab, and also an implicit admission of fear and vulnerability. \u003cem>Please don't think we're lame\u003c/em>, whispers an organization whose paramount event involves, this year, \u003ca href=\"http://greatideas.people.com/2016/01/06/guy-fieri-super-bowl-tailgate-700-dollars/\" target=\"_blank\">a $700 \"Meatball Madness\" tailgate party hosted by Guy Fieri\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Problem is, when you're dealing two artists who have such vastly disparate quantities of skill, star power, dance moves, etc. -- and, to be fair, Beyoncé's entire genre also lends itself much more naturally to the bravado of a stadium show than Coldplay's anemic love songs and flan-like delivery -- you run the risk of the juxtaposition backfiring: of Coldplay appearing \u003cem>even more boring\u003c/em> than they actually are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not that Coldplay doesn't need help -- because they do -- but the enormity of this particular assistance is a little embarrassing for everyone involved. With that in mind, here are some other suggestions for additions to the Halftime Show that would help the Super Bowl appear relevant and in-the-know -- and most importantly, help make a Coldplay set a little less boring.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Carrie's dog Gary, all of 'em \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/12/16/for-those-not-stricken-with-star-wars-fever-carrie-fishers-dog-is-sweet-relief/\" target=\"_blank\">giving zero f*cks\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Steve Harvey, Miss Colombia and Miss Phillippines performing rhythmic gymnastics at center stage\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A drunk hologram Lemmy Kilmister\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/news/2016/01/08/raymond-shrimp-boy-chow-guilty-on-all-162-counts-in-racketeering-murder-trial\" target=\"_blank\">Shrimp Boy\u003c/a> (displays local awareness!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>On that note: The entire Curry family, duh\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The jury from the Netflix series \u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The Oregon militia seizing the arena with unclear demands\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A Bernie Sanders stump speech\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ice-T reciting monologues from \u003cem>Law & Order: SVU\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A live fight to the death between Guy Fieri and the singer from Smash Mouth\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Miley Cyrus, naked, just standing there screaming \"REACT!\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/01/07/462245189/federal-judge-says-monkey-cant-own-copyright-to-his-selfie\" target=\"_blank\">The selfie monkey\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Left Shark\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-19796\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-400x227.jpg\" alt=\"AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-400x227.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-800x453.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3-768x435.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/AP83692314721_zpdkk1l6_2hez1pu3.jpg 950w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pharma bro \u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/news/story/2015/12/17/181259/feds_arrest_martin_shkreli_on_fraud_charges?source=npr&category=u.s.\" target=\"_blank\">Martin Shkreli \u003c/a>in a hoodie, making a glum face while recreating \u003ca href=\"http://gawker.com/heres-your-martin-shkreli-perp-walk-schadenfreude-galle-1748514916\" target=\"_blank\">his perp walk\u003c/a> in a circle for an hour\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Gwyneth Paltrow sitting in a chair in a corner and reading her and Chris Martin's divorce papers aloud, word for word\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A long close-up of Jay-Z's face while he's forced to sit and listen to Gwyneth Paltrow talking about anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Testimony from survivors of horrific domestic violence inflicted by NFL players and then a long, detailed explanation of exactly how little those athletes were punished and why\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Just bring in the damn Puppy Bowl and make it an actual part of the Super Bowl already \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-19800\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500-400x266.jpg\" alt=\"tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_mhg7f9UtVD1qdkv8qo1_500.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Sia revealing her face\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Sia performing instead of Coldplay\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Beyonce is returning to the Super Bowl halftime show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pepsi confirmed to The Associated Press on Thursday that the 34-year-old singer will perform at the Feb. 7 show at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif. Last month, Coldplay announced they would perform at the halftime show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyonce headlined the 2013 Pepsi Super Bowl halftime show in New Orleans at the Superdome, where she was joined by her Destiny Child’s bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyonce and Coldplay recently collaborated on the band’s new album, \u003cem>A Head Full of Dreams\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Katy Perry, who performed at last year’s Super Bowl, had the most-watched halftime show in history with 118 million viewers. Other past halftime headliners include Bruno Mars, Prince, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, U2 and the Rolling Stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Beyonce is returning to the Super Bowl halftime show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pepsi confirmed to The Associated Press on Thursday that the 34-year-old singer will perform at the Feb. 7 show at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif. Last month, Coldplay announced they would perform at the halftime show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyonce headlined the 2013 Pepsi Super Bowl halftime show in New Orleans at the Superdome, where she was joined by her Destiny Child’s bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beyonce and Coldplay recently collaborated on the band’s new album, \u003cem>A Head Full of Dreams\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Katy Perry, who performed at last year’s Super Bowl, had the most-watched halftime show in history with 118 million viewers. Other past halftime headliners include Bruno Mars, Prince, Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, U2 and the Rolling Stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>One Thursday last February, on a relatively slow news day -- \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/02/26/breaking-two-llamas-are-on-the-run/\" target=\"_blank\">two llamas running amok\u003c/a> in Sun City, Arizona were, initially, the primary story being passed around social media -- someone probably G-chatted, Facebooked, or texted you about \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/27/thedress-how-well-do-you-see-color-take-this-test-to-find-out/\" target=\"_blank\">The Dress\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What color \u003cem>is it?\u003c/em>\" screamed the Internet. Was it blue and black? Was it white and gold? What was the meaning of this witchcraft?! Nearly every website whose success depended on clicks -- which is to say, most websites -- picked up the \"story\" and ran with it. (For what it's worth, I might be biased, but \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/that-dress-isnt-blue-or-gold-because-color-doesnt-exist/\" target=\"_blank\">this is probably my favorite Dress-related headline\u003c/a>.) So the person who first posted the photo and query surely (surely!) must have made a boatload of money off it, right? That's how virality works, in this age of Davids After Dentist and Charlies Biting Fingers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Except that it's not. In a fascinating if unsettling \u003ca href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\" target=\"_blank\">piece published on \u003cem>Fusion\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Oakland writer Joe Veix uses the story of The Dress -- a photo posted to Tumblr by a Scottish 17-year-old named Caitlin McNeill, whose friend's mother had snapped it unwittingly while shopping a few weeks earlier -- to illustrate the precariousness of business models like BuzzFeed's, which rely in large part on \"curating\" content already posted elsewhere on the web.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It took a BuzzFeed employee all of five minutes to repost McNeill's photo as an article. And then:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Almost immediately, traffic went gangbusters. By the end of the night, it had about 10 million views. It became the most popular post in BuzzFeed’s history, garnering roughly 38 million views to date, with 670,000 simultaneous views at its peak. The site\u003ca href=\"http://www.bizjournals.com/newyork/blog/techflash/2015/02/the-dress-phenomenon-didnt-happen-by-accident.html\"> threw money and people\u003c/a> at the story, including an extra tech team and two editorial teams, as if a president had been shot. They sent out a\u003ca href=\"http://jimromenesko.com/2015/02/27/buzzfeed-breaks-the-internet-with-the-dress/\"> press release\u003c/a>, taking credit for the phenomenon. The next day, victorious, they celebrated in their office with champagne.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s hard to determine exactly how much money The Dress made, cumulatively, for BuzzFeed and the other news sites and social media services and brands and stores that sold the dress. McNeill, however, got nothing.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>In the weeks that followed, the woman who took the photo and her daughter -- who had posted the image to Facebook weeks before McNeill's Tumblr post -- even had a falling out caused, in part, by attempting to reap some small financial gains from The Dress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What does it say about the future of internet media that the most successful post in history, on one of the most successful internet properties in existence, amounted to a cut-and-paste job? Not to mention one in which nobody involved in producing the original content actually benefited from it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A similar albeit less blockbuster-type viral story about dogs and how they might wear pants, were they to wear pants, \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4163516/dog-pants-internet-debate/\" target=\"_blank\">took off last week\u003c/a>. And while it's entertaining (to say the least) to watch respected news organizations scramble to find remotely respectable ways to cover these stories (because \u003cem>they have to\u003c/em>), it also raises questions about the economy of how \"the viral internet\" happens. And here's where -- from a pop-culture blogger's chair, at least -- it all starts to feel a bit like we're building a five-story brick mansion on plastic egg crates. What could possibly go wrong?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In any event, \u003ca href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\" target=\"_blank\">the whole piece\u003c/a> is worth a read. And, you'll note, it was definitely worth reblogging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca class=\"embedly-card\" href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\">How 'The Dress' Exposes Viral Media's Shaky Future\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>One Thursday last February, on a relatively slow news day -- \u003ca href=\"https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/02/26/breaking-two-llamas-are-on-the-run/\" target=\"_blank\">two llamas running amok\u003c/a> in Sun City, Arizona were, initially, the primary story being passed around social media -- someone probably G-chatted, Facebooked, or texted you about \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/27/thedress-how-well-do-you-see-color-take-this-test-to-find-out/\" target=\"_blank\">The Dress\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"What color \u003cem>is it?\u003c/em>\" screamed the Internet. Was it blue and black? Was it white and gold? What was the meaning of this witchcraft?! Nearly every website whose success depended on clicks -- which is to say, most websites -- picked up the \"story\" and ran with it. (For what it's worth, I might be biased, but \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/that-dress-isnt-blue-or-gold-because-color-doesnt-exist/\" target=\"_blank\">this is probably my favorite Dress-related headline\u003c/a>.) So the person who first posted the photo and query surely (surely!) must have made a boatload of money off it, right? That's how virality works, in this age of Davids After Dentist and Charlies Biting Fingers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Except that it's not. In a fascinating if unsettling \u003ca href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\" target=\"_blank\">piece published on \u003cem>Fusion\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Oakland writer Joe Veix uses the story of The Dress -- a photo posted to Tumblr by a Scottish 17-year-old named Caitlin McNeill, whose friend's mother had snapped it unwittingly while shopping a few weeks earlier -- to illustrate the precariousness of business models like BuzzFeed's, which rely in large part on \"curating\" content already posted elsewhere on the web.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It took a BuzzFeed employee all of five minutes to repost McNeill's photo as an article. And then:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Almost immediately, traffic went gangbusters. By the end of the night, it had about 10 million views. It became the most popular post in BuzzFeed’s history, garnering roughly 38 million views to date, with 670,000 simultaneous views at its peak. The site\u003ca href=\"http://www.bizjournals.com/newyork/blog/techflash/2015/02/the-dress-phenomenon-didnt-happen-by-accident.html\"> threw money and people\u003c/a> at the story, including an extra tech team and two editorial teams, as if a president had been shot. They sent out a\u003ca href=\"http://jimromenesko.com/2015/02/27/buzzfeed-breaks-the-internet-with-the-dress/\"> press release\u003c/a>, taking credit for the phenomenon. The next day, victorious, they celebrated in their office with champagne.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s hard to determine exactly how much money The Dress made, cumulatively, for BuzzFeed and the other news sites and social media services and brands and stores that sold the dress. McNeill, however, got nothing.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>In the weeks that followed, the woman who took the photo and her daughter -- who had posted the image to Facebook weeks before McNeill's Tumblr post -- even had a falling out caused, in part, by attempting to reap some small financial gains from The Dress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What does it say about the future of internet media that the most successful post in history, on one of the most successful internet properties in existence, amounted to a cut-and-paste job? Not to mention one in which nobody involved in producing the original content actually benefited from it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A similar albeit less blockbuster-type viral story about dogs and how they might wear pants, were they to wear pants, \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4163516/dog-pants-internet-debate/\" target=\"_blank\">took off last week\u003c/a>. And while it's entertaining (to say the least) to watch respected news organizations scramble to find remotely respectable ways to cover these stories (because \u003cem>they have to\u003c/em>), it also raises questions about the economy of how \"the viral internet\" happens. And here's where -- from a pop-culture blogger's chair, at least -- it all starts to feel a bit like we're building a five-story brick mansion on plastic egg crates. What could possibly go wrong?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In any event, \u003ca href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\" target=\"_blank\">the whole piece\u003c/a> is worth a read. And, you'll note, it was definitely worth reblogging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca class=\"embedly-card\" href=\"http://fusion.net/story/251095/lonely-web-the-dress-viral-social-media-profit/\">How 'The Dress' Exposes Viral Media's Shaky Future\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Fuller House: Let's Overanalyze the First Official Photos from the Set",
"title": "Fuller House: Let's Overanalyze the First Official Photos from the Set",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In case the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/full-house/\" target=\"_blank\">breathless coverage of \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>\u003c/a> in the past hasn't tipped you off, I'm a fan of the show and cautiously intrigued by the revival. Netflix just released the first photos from the set, which means it's my duty to overanalyze them. Let me find my magnifying glass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19772\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19772\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"latoya magnifying glass\" width=\"320\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Found it! Let's give these pics a look.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19771\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19771\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19771\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The girls are all grown up! And apparently share the same hair stylist! Stephanie and Kimmie wanted to keep the uniformity going by wearing feline-inspired fashions. D.J. was like nah, this random baby will probably just throw up on it so uninspired grey shirt it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/leahfinnegan/status/685156451757600768\" target=\"_blank\">Someone on Twitter\u003c/a> pointed out that the house looks like the one from \u003cem>Step By Step\u003c/em>. If you're making this face right now, you're not alone:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/DRGuTDE.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19773\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19773\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/DRGuTDE.gif\" alt=\"woah gif\" width=\"340\" height=\"205\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19768\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19768\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19768\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Ugh, kids. I understand that this show is more about grabbing the attention of a whole new generation à la \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/08/24/13-year-old-girl-meets-world-star-rowan-blanchard-perfectly-explains-intersectional-feminism/\" target=\"_blank\">Girl Meets World\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, but I can't help but want everything to be about me and the other old people on the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a novice body language reader so I'm going to go ahead and say that D.J. is going to be a stick-in-the-mud helicopter mom (her husband died so she won't want her sons to take any risks). Stephanie will fill Uncle Jessie's shoes and be the fun aunt who's rock 'n' roll in the tamest way possible. The oldest kid is going to reach puberty and for sure have a weird dream about Stephanie. The younger brother will be a pyromaniac for at least two episodes. If Kimmie's daughter's knack for matching prints -- turtles \u003cem>and\u003c/em> gemstones! -- is any indication, she will out-quirk her mother, who has been tamed by old age. How will Kimmie deal with being a disciplinarian and welcomed guest rather than a rule-breaker and constant interloper?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19770\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19770\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19770\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Okay, \u003cem>now\u003c/em> things are getting interesting!! Damn, Stephanie, yes! San Francisco is a very different place than it was back in the '90s so why not pretend it's Vegas? Meanwhile, Kimmie is imitating a dog or cat, while D.J. continues to be a judgmental wet blanket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19769\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19769\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19769\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Aww, still the kind of feel-good show that makes your teeth hurt. Danny Tanner looks on and feels pride at how well his daughters turned out, but he can't ignore that gnawing, hollow feeling in his chest over Michelle, who's decided to cut ties with her family to be Anna Wintour. Also, he's trying really hard to stop himself from cleaning something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle Jessie and Aunt Becky must have sold their Aryan twins for an immortality elixir because damn, they're still really hot. And, last and also least, Uncle Joey sadly looks down at his hands, which aided him in doing whatever drove Alanis to write the ultimate diss track, \"You Oughta Know.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Fuller House\u003c/em> premieres on Netflix on February 26th.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In case the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/full-house/\" target=\"_blank\">breathless coverage of \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>\u003c/a> in the past hasn't tipped you off, I'm a fan of the show and cautiously intrigued by the revival. Netflix just released the first photos from the set, which means it's my duty to overanalyze them. Let me find my magnifying glass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19772\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19772\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"latoya magnifying glass\" width=\"320\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Found it! Let's give these pics a look.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19771\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19771\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19771\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/fuller-house-01-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The girls are all grown up! And apparently share the same hair stylist! Stephanie and Kimmie wanted to keep the uniformity going by wearing feline-inspired fashions. D.J. was like nah, this random baby will probably just throw up on it so uninspired grey shirt it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/leahfinnegan/status/685156451757600768\" target=\"_blank\">Someone on Twitter\u003c/a> pointed out that the house looks like the one from \u003cem>Step By Step\u003c/em>. If you're making this face right now, you're not alone:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/DRGuTDE.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19773\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19773\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/DRGuTDE.gif\" alt=\"woah gif\" width=\"340\" height=\"205\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19768\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19768\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19768\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-02-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Ugh, kids. I understand that this show is more about grabbing the attention of a whole new generation à la \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/08/24/13-year-old-girl-meets-world-star-rowan-blanchard-perfectly-explains-intersectional-feminism/\" target=\"_blank\">Girl Meets World\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, but I can't help but want everything to be about me and the other old people on the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a novice body language reader so I'm going to go ahead and say that D.J. is going to be a stick-in-the-mud helicopter mom (her husband died so she won't want her sons to take any risks). Stephanie will fill Uncle Jessie's shoes and be the fun aunt who's rock 'n' roll in the tamest way possible. The oldest kid is going to reach puberty and for sure have a weird dream about Stephanie. The younger brother will be a pyromaniac for at least two episodes. If Kimmie's daughter's knack for matching prints -- turtles \u003cem>and\u003c/em> gemstones! -- is any indication, she will out-quirk her mother, who has been tamed by old age. How will Kimmie deal with being a disciplinarian and welcomed guest rather than a rule-breaker and constant interloper?\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19770\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19770\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19770\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-03-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Okay, \u003cem>now\u003c/em> things are getting interesting!! Damn, Stephanie, yes! San Francisco is a very different place than it was back in the '90s so why not pretend it's Vegas? Meanwhile, Kimmie is imitating a dog or cat, while D.J. continues to be a judgmental wet blanket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_19769\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 612px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19769\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-19769\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\" width=\"612\" height=\"380\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/Fuller-House-04-400x248.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Michael Yarish / Netflix\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Aww, still the kind of feel-good show that makes your teeth hurt. Danny Tanner looks on and feels pride at how well his daughters turned out, but he can't ignore that gnawing, hollow feeling in his chest over Michelle, who's decided to cut ties with her family to be Anna Wintour. Also, he's trying really hard to stop himself from cleaning something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle Jessie and Aunt Becky must have sold their Aryan twins for an immortality elixir because damn, they're still really hot. And, last and also least, Uncle Joey sadly looks down at his hands, which aided him in doing whatever drove Alanis to write the ultimate diss track, \"You Oughta Know.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Fuller House\u003c/em> premieres on Netflix on February 26th.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Resolutions: Stop Saying 'Sorry' in Work Emails, Learn Justin Bieber's 'Sorry' Dance Instead",
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"content": "\u003cp>We're ringing in the newborn year with a few resolutions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/01/Resolutions.mp3\" title=\"Resolutions: Stop Saying 'Sorry' in Work Emails, Learn Justin Bieber's 'Sorry' Dance Instead\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>This week, we're celebrating the newborn year with a few resolutions. Like Honey Boo Boo, we love ourselves, but realize there is room for improvement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgiv9BeWg1r79k32.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19740\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19740\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgiv9BeWg1r79k32.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo pretty cool gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgivcb7rb1r79k32.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19741\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19741\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgivcb7rb1r79k32.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo cooler gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our resolutions run the gamut from taking all the unnecessary sorry's out of our work emails:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca class=\"embedly-card\" href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/12/29/new_chrome_app_helps_women_stop_saying_just_and_sorry_in_emails.html\">New Chrome App Helps Women Stop Saying \"Just\" and \"Sorry\" in Emails\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">To not having any more kids:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-8.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19744\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19744\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo no thank you gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19743\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2hhznE3Ub1rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo too much gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">To learning this entire dance:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Did you make a resolution this year? Share it with us @KQEDPop on Twitter on in the comments below! Oh, and don't forget to \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19742\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19742\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo bye gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>This week, we're celebrating the newborn year with a few resolutions. Like Honey Boo Boo, we love ourselves, but realize there is room for improvement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgiv9BeWg1r79k32.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19740\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19740\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgiv9BeWg1r79k32.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo pretty cool gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgivcb7rb1r79k32.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19741\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19741\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_inline_nhgivcb7rb1r79k32.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo cooler gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our resolutions run the gamut from taking all the unnecessary sorry's out of our work emails:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca class=\"embedly-card\" href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/12/29/new_chrome_app_helps_women_stop_saying_just_and_sorry_in_emails.html\">New Chrome App Helps Women Stop Saying \"Just\" and \"Sorry\" in Emails\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">To not having any more kids:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-8.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19744\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19744\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo no thank you gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19743\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2hhznE3Ub1rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo too much gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">To learning this entire dance:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/fRh_vgS2dFE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/fRh_vgS2dFE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Did you make a resolution this year? Share it with us @KQEDPop on Twitter on in the comments below! Oh, and don't forget to \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-19742\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19742\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"honey boo boo bye gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "#WhereIsRey? She's On Her Way, Says Hasbro",
"title": "#WhereIsRey? She's On Her Way, Says Hasbro",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Star Wars: The Force Awakens\u003c/em> revolves around the story of staff-wielding scavenger Rey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(That's hardly a spoiler; she's \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/707676/star-wars-the-force-awakens-new-poster-revealed-before-first-trailer-find-out-which-major-star-is-missing\" target=\"_blank\">front-and-center in the movie poster\u003c/a>, after all.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in the world of \u003cem>Star Wars \u003c/em>toys, Rey's been hard to find — and fans took to social media, under the hashtags #WheresRey and #WhereisRey, to complain about all the movie merchandise that left her out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Target's \u003cem>Star Wars \u003c/em>figurine 6-pack? Finn, Chewbacca, Poe, Kylo Ren and two unnamed characters: a Stormtrooper officer and a First Order TIE fighter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Central heroine: \u003ca href=\"http://www.target.com/p/star-wars-the-force-awakens-6-action-figure-pack/-/A-17294971\" target=\"_blank\">Nowhere in sight\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/JamieFord/status/664824284938809345\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hasbro's \"Battle Action\" Millennium Falcon? Comes with \u003ca href=\"http://www.hasbro.com/en-us/product/star-wars-the-force-awakens-battle-action-millennium-falcon:4C779CBB-5056-9047-F500-253B7076D3FF\" target=\"_blank\">Chewie, Finn and BB-8\u003c/a>: Rey's gotta hitch another ride.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The soccer ball gets more love,\" complained one fan \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/CorporateMalice/status/681893309372076032\">on Twitter.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bedspread? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/HKhug/status/681311984873160705\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Disney store display? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/acnally/status/681502669219971072\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Barnes and Noble bobbleheads? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/shanegreer/status/681138520023547904\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Walgreens shelves? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/laflaneuse/status/682366514016595968\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some of the Rey-less displays, \u003ca href=\"http://thenerdybird.com/more-star-wars-force-awakens-rey-merchandise-than-you-can-shake-a-staff-at/\" target=\"_blank\">her products\u003c/a> might not have been stocked by individual stores — or may have sold out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in many other cases, \u003ca href=\"http://www.gq.com/story/star-wars-toys-wheres-rey\" target=\"_blank\">toys featuring her simply hadn't been released\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/holden/status/679126771472531458\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The new Star Wars Monopoly game was one of the most egregious offenders. It features four characters: Finn, Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren and Darth Vader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's two characters from the new films, and two from the classic trilogy, says Hasbro. Or to look at it another way, that's — OK, OK, \u003cem>now \u003c/em>it's time for a \u003cstrong>spoiler warning\u003c/strong> from here on out — two key characters from \u003cem>The Force Awakens\u003c/em>, one dude who's on screen for, like, a minute tops, and one character who is literally \u003cem>dead \u003c/em>and appears only as a crumpled helmet and a super unhealthy hero-obsession.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And no Rey, the star of the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Monopoly game was targeted by many #WheresRey tweets — and by a letter from an 8-year-old fan who pointed out Rey's essential role in the film's plot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/CarrieMGoldman/status/684112303806111745\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the backlash, Hasbro has set a new course.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We love the passion fans have for Rey, and are happy to announce that we will be making a running change to include her in the Monopoly: Star Wars game available later this year,\" the game company said in a statement. The news was \u003ca href=\"http://www.ew.com/article/2016/01/05/star-wars-monopoly-game-adding-rey\" target=\"_blank\">first announced by EW on Tuesday night\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hasbro said Rey was not initially included in the game to \"avoid revealing a key plotline\" — an argument some found specious, since she was clearly going to be a central character based solely on early promotional materials.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And as \u003cem>The Guardian \u003c/em>pointed out, Hasbro's explanatory note was clearly not written by a true fan: \u003ca href=\"http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jan/06/hasbro-monopoly-rey-star-wars-the-force-awakens-spoilers\" target=\"_blank\">They confused the Rebel Alliance and The Resistance in their statement\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hasbro also points out that Rey is featured in \u003cem>Star Wars\u003c/em>-branded games of Hands Down, Guess Who and Chess, and that two new Rey action figures will be arriving in stores this month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Lego featured Rey in its line from the start — as a \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Rey-75113\" target=\"_blank\">standalone figure\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Rey-s-Speeder-75099\" target=\"_blank\">with her speeder\u003c/a> and as part of the \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Millennium-Falcon-75105\" target=\"_blank\">Millennium Falcon set\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All three products are currently out of stock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%23WhereIsRey%3F+She%27s+On+Her+Way%2C+Says+Hasbro&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\" alt=\"\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "The newest Star Wars Monopoly game featured Finn, Kylo Ren, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader — but not the latest film's heroine, Rey. Hasbro says it will add her to the game this year.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Star Wars: The Force Awakens\u003c/em> revolves around the story of staff-wielding scavenger Rey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(That's hardly a spoiler; she's \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/707676/star-wars-the-force-awakens-new-poster-revealed-before-first-trailer-find-out-which-major-star-is-missing\" target=\"_blank\">front-and-center in the movie poster\u003c/a>, after all.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in the world of \u003cem>Star Wars \u003c/em>toys, Rey's been hard to find — and fans took to social media, under the hashtags #WheresRey and #WhereisRey, to complain about all the movie merchandise that left her out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Target's \u003cem>Star Wars \u003c/em>figurine 6-pack? Finn, Chewbacca, Poe, Kylo Ren and two unnamed characters: a Stormtrooper officer and a First Order TIE fighter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Central heroine: \u003ca href=\"http://www.target.com/p/star-wars-the-force-awakens-6-action-figure-pack/-/A-17294971\" target=\"_blank\">Nowhere in sight\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Hasbro's \"Battle Action\" Millennium Falcon? Comes with \u003ca href=\"http://www.hasbro.com/en-us/product/star-wars-the-force-awakens-battle-action-millennium-falcon:4C779CBB-5056-9047-F500-253B7076D3FF\" target=\"_blank\">Chewie, Finn and BB-8\u003c/a>: Rey's gotta hitch another ride.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The soccer ball gets more love,\" complained one fan \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/CorporateMalice/status/681893309372076032\">on Twitter.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bedspread? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/HKhug/status/681311984873160705\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Disney store display? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/acnally/status/681502669219971072\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Barnes and Noble bobbleheads? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/shanegreer/status/681138520023547904\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>. Walgreens shelves? \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/laflaneuse/status/682366514016595968\" target=\"_blank\">No Rey\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some of the Rey-less displays, \u003ca href=\"http://thenerdybird.com/more-star-wars-force-awakens-rey-merchandise-than-you-can-shake-a-staff-at/\" target=\"_blank\">her products\u003c/a> might not have been stocked by individual stores — or may have sold out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But in many other cases, \u003ca href=\"http://www.gq.com/story/star-wars-toys-wheres-rey\" target=\"_blank\">toys featuring her simply hadn't been released\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>The new Star Wars Monopoly game was one of the most egregious offenders. It features four characters: Finn, Luke Skywalker, Kylo Ren and Darth Vader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's two characters from the new films, and two from the classic trilogy, says Hasbro. Or to look at it another way, that's — OK, OK, \u003cem>now \u003c/em>it's time for a \u003cstrong>spoiler warning\u003c/strong> from here on out — two key characters from \u003cem>The Force Awakens\u003c/em>, one dude who's on screen for, like, a minute tops, and one character who is literally \u003cem>dead \u003c/em>and appears only as a crumpled helmet and a super unhealthy hero-obsession.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And no Rey, the star of the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Monopoly game was targeted by many #WheresRey tweets — and by a letter from an 8-year-old fan who pointed out Rey's essential role in the film's plot.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>After the backlash, Hasbro has set a new course.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We love the passion fans have for Rey, and are happy to announce that we will be making a running change to include her in the Monopoly: Star Wars game available later this year,\" the game company said in a statement. The news was \u003ca href=\"http://www.ew.com/article/2016/01/05/star-wars-monopoly-game-adding-rey\" target=\"_blank\">first announced by EW on Tuesday night\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hasbro said Rey was not initially included in the game to \"avoid revealing a key plotline\" — an argument some found specious, since she was clearly going to be a central character based solely on early promotional materials.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And as \u003cem>The Guardian \u003c/em>pointed out, Hasbro's explanatory note was clearly not written by a true fan: \u003ca href=\"http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jan/06/hasbro-monopoly-rey-star-wars-the-force-awakens-spoilers\" target=\"_blank\">They confused the Rebel Alliance and The Resistance in their statement\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hasbro also points out that Rey is featured in \u003cem>Star Wars\u003c/em>-branded games of Hands Down, Guess Who and Chess, and that two new Rey action figures will be arriving in stores this month.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Lego featured Rey in its line from the start — as a \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Rey-75113\" target=\"_blank\">standalone figure\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Rey-s-Speeder-75099\" target=\"_blank\">with her speeder\u003c/a> and as part of the \u003ca href=\"http://shop.lego.com/en-US/Millennium-Falcon-75105\" target=\"_blank\">Millennium Falcon set\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All three products are currently out of stock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%23WhereIsRey%3F+She%27s+On+Her+Way%2C+Says+Hasbro&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\" alt=\"\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"slug": "tax-burning-man-nevada-considers-it",
"title": "Tax Burning Man? Nevada Considers It, Promoters Bristle",
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"headTitle": "Tax Burning Man? Nevada Considers It, Promoters Bristle | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cp>Tens of thousands of Burning Man fans are waiting for 2016 tickets to go on sale, but first, they’ll have to wait for the non-profit to resolve a tax dispute with Nevada. The non-profit that runs Burning Man is appealing a new tax that could cost nearly $3 million.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ray Allen is general counsel for the \u003ca href=\"http://burningman.org/culture/history/brc-history/afterburn/2013-2/related/burning-man-project/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Burning Man Project\u003c/a>, which organizes the massive dessert gathering in the Black Rock Desert, along with a growing number of baby Burning Mans elsewhere in the world. Allen says Nevada tweaked its live entertainment tax last year, “but it didn’t seem to apply to us because it mostly had to do with live entertainment. And Burning Man is not a concert. It’s not an arena event. It’s not a casino show. At Burning Man, people come for the experience that they bring themselves.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=”gI3AFBFMPiFMSUuU7PaXNyZJHTvRI05t”]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burning Man, Allen says, creates a venue where live entertainment happens, like porta-potties, roads, and medical services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Obviously, some of our members do things that others may find entertaining,” Allen said. “However, the statute says that the organization that’s going to be taxed has to provide those activities. Our organization, we provide infrastructure.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Burning Man \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/12/14/burning-man-challenging-nevadas-live-entertainment-tax/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">appealed\u003c/a>, estimating the tax change could cost $2.9 million. That could force the Project to raise ticket prices by as much as $35 above last year’s main sale price of roughly $390. That’s a steep entry fee for a week in a no-commerce zone where participants give away everything for free.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/240370511″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=’166′ iframe=”true” /]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eric Evans of Mountain View has gone to Black Rock City for the last three years as part of Camp Hardly, one of about 50 camps from the \u003ca href=\"http://www.southbayburners.org/camps.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">South Bay\u003c/a>. Camp Hardly stages a Western-themed whiskey saloon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evans says the tax is objectionable. “It is a relatively small cost. However, one of the big things about tax is, it should be applied fairly.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A civil engineer off the Playa, Evans feels differently about the $40 vehicle pass introduced in 2014. That, he says, was fair “as a way to reduce the total number of vehicles going to the event and to encourage car-pooling.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11209653\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11209653\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Camp Hardly runs a popular whiskey bar at Burning Man.\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-1920x1081.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Camp Hardly runs a popular whiskey bar at Burning Man. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Eric Evans)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But he’d rather pay the tax than see Burning Man move someplace else, like Utah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“No matter how unfair it may be, I think it would be the least difficulty for the participants if we just grudgingly accepted a tax,” Evans says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The tickets are already too expensive for many attendees. Summer Love, a Los Gatos resident, was gifted her first ticket, and heartily wishes that would happen again. She comes to Burning Man with \u003ca href=\"http://www.salonsoleil.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Salon Soleil\u003c/a>, a space hosting philosophical, salon-style discussions on the Playa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Burning Man’s principle of gifting is a wonderful, Utopian experience that I do cherish,” Love says, “but the actual amount of money it takes to go is quite considerable.” Travel, food, shelter, water, ice all add up, she says, not to mention the cost of putting on a show for yourself and others, with costume, lights, art cars, et cetera.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The State Bill That Changed the Rules\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before \u003ca href=\"https://www.leg.state.nv.us/Session/78th2015/Bills/SB/SB266_EN.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">SB 266\u003c/a>, Burning Man was exempt from the tax as a 501(c)3 non-profit. Now, the exclusion from the tax no longer applies to non-profits who offer for sale 7,500 tickets or more and where the patrons participate in that entertainment and, “the number of tickets to the activity offered for sale or other distribution is 15,000 or more.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/Burning-Man-letter-to-Nevada-Department-of-Taxation.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here to read Burning Man’s letter to the Nevada Department of Taxation\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nevada tax officials declined to comment specifically about the Burning Man Project’s appeal, citing confidentiality rules, but a spokeswoman would say the department will make every effort to respond by the end of January.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHW8zydRV4M\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From its modest beginning as a 35-person party on San Franciso’s Baker Beach in 1986, the event has grown exponentially. Brian Doherty in his book \u003ca href=\"https://books.google.com/books/about/This_is_Burning_Man.html?id=55VQ2bcgs9QC\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>This is Burning Man\u003c/em>\u003c/a> explains media coverage helped turn a little underground event favored by ravers into what \u003cem>Time Magazine\u003c/em> dubbed the “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,986891,00.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">bonfire of the techies\u003c/a>” in 1997.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burning Man does pay taxes to the BLM for using the land. It’s the largest Special Recreation Permit in the United States. Roughly 66,000 people attended in 2014. The nonprofit that year was worth $9.6 million, according to tax forms filed with the IRS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Allen says Burning Man brings in $50 million to the state of Nevada, including $10 million that event organizers spend on contracts in Nevada. As Burning Man grows, so do the attempts to get a piece of the action. Back in August, the US Bureau of Land Management backed away from a request for Burning Man to pay for a $1 million on site headquarter for law enforcement, plus a “Blue Pit Compound” to house those officers and officials from Washington, D.C, plus 24-hour access to ice cream, according to the \u003ca href=\"http://www.rgj.com/story/life/arts/burning-man/2015/08/07/blm-scraps-burning-man-vip-compound-grants-permit/31326665/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>Reno Gazette-Journal\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A decision against Burning Man could lead to another appeal. Could that process put ticket sales on hold for months? Years? “Hopefully not,” says Allen. “Burning Man has a very good record of working and collaborating with the state agencies, and federal and local agencies that permit the event. So I’m hopeful that this will get resolved very soon.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11209661\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11209661\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"More than 65,000 people regularly attend Burning Man, which takes place over a week in Black Rock Desert. It's the largest Special Recreation Permit the Bureau of Land Management grants.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-400x267.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-960x640.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">More than 65,000 people regularly attend Burning Man, which takes place over a week in Black Rock Desert. It’s the largest Special Recreation Permit the Bureau of Land Management grants. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Neil Girling)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "The non-profit that runs Burning Man is appealing a new tax by Nevada that could cost it $2.9 million.",
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"title": "Tax Burning Man? Nevada Considers It, Promoters Bristle | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Tens of thousands of Burning Man fans are waiting for 2016 tickets to go on sale, but first, they’ll have to wait for the non-profit to resolve a tax dispute with Nevada. The non-profit that runs Burning Man is appealing a new tax that could cost nearly $3 million.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ray Allen is general counsel for the \u003ca href=\"http://burningman.org/culture/history/brc-history/afterburn/2013-2/related/burning-man-project/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Burning Man Project\u003c/a>, which organizes the massive dessert gathering in the Black Rock Desert, along with a growing number of baby Burning Mans elsewhere in the world. Allen says Nevada tweaked its live entertainment tax last year, “but it didn’t seem to apply to us because it mostly had to do with live entertainment. And Burning Man is not a concert. It’s not an arena event. It’s not a casino show. At Burning Man, people come for the experience that they bring themselves.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burning Man, Allen says, creates a venue where live entertainment happens, like porta-potties, roads, and medical services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Obviously, some of our members do things that others may find entertaining,” Allen said. “However, the statute says that the organization that’s going to be taxed has to provide those activities. Our organization, we provide infrastructure.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Burning Man \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/12/14/burning-man-challenging-nevadas-live-entertainment-tax/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">appealed\u003c/a>, estimating the tax change could cost $2.9 million. That could force the Project to raise ticket prices by as much as $35 above last year’s main sale price of roughly $390. That’s a steep entry fee for a week in a no-commerce zone where participants give away everything for free.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cdiv class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__shortcodes__shortcodeWrapper'>\n \u003ciframe width='”100%”' height='’166′'\n scrolling='no' frameborder='no'\n src='https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/240370511″&visual=true&”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false”'\n title='”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/240370511″'>\n \u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/div>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eric Evans of Mountain View has gone to Black Rock City for the last three years as part of Camp Hardly, one of about 50 camps from the \u003ca href=\"http://www.southbayburners.org/camps.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">South Bay\u003c/a>. Camp Hardly stages a Western-themed whiskey saloon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evans says the tax is objectionable. “It is a relatively small cost. However, one of the big things about tax is, it should be applied fairly.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A civil engineer off the Playa, Evans feels differently about the $40 vehicle pass introduced in 2014. That, he says, was fair “as a way to reduce the total number of vehicles going to the event and to encourage car-pooling.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11209653\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11209653\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Camp Hardly runs a popular whiskey bar at Burning Man.\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-1920x1081.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/2013-Burning-Man-006-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Camp Hardly runs a popular whiskey bar at Burning Man. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Eric Evans)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>But he’d rather pay the tax than see Burning Man move someplace else, like Utah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“No matter how unfair it may be, I think it would be the least difficulty for the participants if we just grudgingly accepted a tax,” Evans says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The tickets are already too expensive for many attendees. Summer Love, a Los Gatos resident, was gifted her first ticket, and heartily wishes that would happen again. She comes to Burning Man with \u003ca href=\"http://www.salonsoleil.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Salon Soleil\u003c/a>, a space hosting philosophical, salon-style discussions on the Playa.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Burning Man’s principle of gifting is a wonderful, Utopian experience that I do cherish,” Love says, “but the actual amount of money it takes to go is quite considerable.” Travel, food, shelter, water, ice all add up, she says, not to mention the cost of putting on a show for yourself and others, with costume, lights, art cars, et cetera.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The State Bill That Changed the Rules\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before \u003ca href=\"https://www.leg.state.nv.us/Session/78th2015/Bills/SB/SB266_EN.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">SB 266\u003c/a>, Burning Man was exempt from the tax as a 501(c)3 non-profit. Now, the exclusion from the tax no longer applies to non-profits who offer for sale 7,500 tickets or more and where the patrons participate in that entertainment and, “the number of tickets to the activity offered for sale or other distribution is 15,000 or more.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/Burning-Man-letter-to-Nevada-Department-of-Taxation.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Click here to read Burning Man’s letter to the Nevada Department of Taxation\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nevada tax officials declined to comment specifically about the Burning Man Project’s appeal, citing confidentiality rules, but a spokeswoman would say the department will make every effort to respond by the end of January.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/DHW8zydRV4M'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/DHW8zydRV4M'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>From its modest beginning as a 35-person party on San Franciso’s Baker Beach in 1986, the event has grown exponentially. Brian Doherty in his book \u003ca href=\"https://books.google.com/books/about/This_is_Burning_Man.html?id=55VQ2bcgs9QC\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>This is Burning Man\u003c/em>\u003c/a> explains media coverage helped turn a little underground event favored by ravers into what \u003cem>Time Magazine\u003c/em> dubbed the “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,986891,00.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">bonfire of the techies\u003c/a>” in 1997.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Burning Man does pay taxes to the BLM for using the land. It’s the largest Special Recreation Permit in the United States. Roughly 66,000 people attended in 2014. The nonprofit that year was worth $9.6 million, according to tax forms filed with the IRS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Allen says Burning Man brings in $50 million to the state of Nevada, including $10 million that event organizers spend on contracts in Nevada. As Burning Man grows, so do the attempts to get a piece of the action. Back in August, the US Bureau of Land Management backed away from a request for Burning Man to pay for a $1 million on site headquarter for law enforcement, plus a “Blue Pit Compound” to house those officers and officials from Washington, D.C, plus 24-hour access to ice cream, according to the \u003ca href=\"http://www.rgj.com/story/life/arts/burning-man/2015/08/07/blm-scraps-burning-man-vip-compound-grants-permit/31326665/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>Reno Gazette-Journal\u003c/em>\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A decision against Burning Man could lead to another appeal. Could that process put ticket sales on hold for months? Years? “Hopefully not,” says Allen. “Burning Man has a very good record of working and collaborating with the state agencies, and federal and local agencies that permit the event. So I’m hopeful that this will get resolved very soon.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11209661\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11209661\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"More than 65,000 people regularly attend Burning Man, which takes place over a week in Black Rock Desert. It's the largest Special Recreation Permit the Bureau of Land Management grants.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-400x267.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/12/RS17935_NEIL_GIRLING158758-qut-960x640.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">More than 65,000 people regularly attend Burning Man, which takes place over a week in Black Rock Desert. It’s the largest Special Recreation Permit the Bureau of Land Management grants. \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Neil Girling)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"slug": "san-jose-graphic-novelist-named-national-rep-for-young-peoples-lit",
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"content": "\u003cp>This week, the Library of Congress inaugurates a new national ambassador for young people’s literature: San Jose graphic novelist Gene Luen Yang.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang may be the first graphic novelist to hold this particular post, but he’s well known in the world of comics. Two of his books, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/american-born-chinese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">American Born Chinese\u003c/a>\u003c/em> and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/boxers-saints\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boxers & Saints\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, were nominated for National Book Awards. \u003cem>American Born Chinese\u003c/em> is also the only graphic novel to win the American Library Association’s Printz Award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“In a lot of ways, I just feel like I was in the right place at the right time,” Yang says. “Historically in America, comics and ‘traditional books’ have been these two separate worlds. They really have been merging over the last decade or two. I think I’ve been a huge beneficiary of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mark Siegel, editorial director at Yang’s home imprint, \u003ca href=\"http://www.firstsecondbooks.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">First Second Books\u003c/a>, would say talent has a lot to do with his success, too. Siegel says he was hooked immediately by Yang’s first book, \u003cem>American Born Chinese\u003c/em>, when it was still an unfinished draft.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This was tapping into a bigger conversation,” Siegel explains. “There’s the universal immigration story, but the Chinese version of that story has not been told in the way he tackles it. Then there’s also the story of internalized racism in the second and third generations. This is part of America’s big conversation with itself.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Siegel adds Yang’s body of work continued to unfold and mature with \u003cem>Boxers & Saints, \u003c/em>which tells the story of the Boxer Rebellion in China at the turn of the 20th century. The story is told from two different, competing perspectives. “It’s kind of rare to find someone who can really rivet you with a story and teach,” Siegel says. “He’s not clobbering you over the head with a message. He’s exploring something with you, and you feel that.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9JLPevOw68\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang is a professional educator. He spent 17 years teaching computer science at Bishop O’Dowd High School in Oakland. \u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/secret-coders-book-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Secret Coders\u003c/a>, released in September, was inspired by that experience. “You ought to be able to do basic programming from reading the first volume,” he told the \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/04/books/library-of-congress-anoints-graphic-novelist-as-ambassador-for-young-peoples-literature.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New York Times\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=”BMKhZV4TdRUuWMGdX1DGsvSV69xsXT6S”]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang is friends with author Marsha Qualey. “She says that at the heart of every young adult book is this equation: belonging+power=identity. I think that a lot of my stories are about those things, about somebody trying to find where they belong, somebody trying to find where their sense of power is, and out of that, trying to construct an identity for themselves.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once Yang’s publishing career took off in the last decade, the Bay Area native found himself increasingly pulled away from the classroom, until finally he decided to quit teaching at the end of the last school year. But his plans for the ambassador role indicate he’s not giving up his primary focus: kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/241000582″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=’166′ iframe=”true” /]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang says his passion right now is a program he calls Reading Without Walls, designed to excite young readers to stretch beyond their comfort zone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Pick up a book that features somebody on the cover that doesn’t look like you, or doesn’t live like you,” Yang says. “Using books to explore subjects that you may not necessarily be comfortable with, or that you may find intimidating.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s \u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/superman\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Superman\u003c/a>. DC Comics invited to write new adventures for Yang’s first super-hero love. It might seem a departure from his deeply person work, but Yang doesn’t think so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Superman is also the prototypical immigrant,” Yang explains. “A lot of his life is about negotiating between these two different identities, these two different cultures. Superman really resonates with the Asian-American experience. You know, he has black hair. He wears glasses. His parents are these non-English speaking scientists who send him to America for a better life. I think all those things are connection points for me into that character.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11219900\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 630px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11219900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut.jpg\" alt=' Gene Luen Yang is writing Superman for DC Comics. \"You have to find the parts of him that overlap with parts of you.\"' width=\"630\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut.jpg 630w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut-400x267.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Gene Luen Yang is writing Superman for DC Comics. “You have to find the parts of him that overlap with parts of you.” \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Gene Luen Yang)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>This week, the Library of Congress inaugurates a new national ambassador for young people’s literature: San Jose graphic novelist Gene Luen Yang.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang may be the first graphic novelist to hold this particular post, but he’s well known in the world of comics. Two of his books, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/american-born-chinese\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">American Born Chinese\u003c/a>\u003c/em> and \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/boxers-saints\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boxers & Saints\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, were nominated for National Book Awards. \u003cem>American Born Chinese\u003c/em> is also the only graphic novel to win the American Library Association’s Printz Award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“In a lot of ways, I just feel like I was in the right place at the right time,” Yang says. “Historically in America, comics and ‘traditional books’ have been these two separate worlds. They really have been merging over the last decade or two. I think I’ve been a huge beneficiary of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mark Siegel, editorial director at Yang’s home imprint, \u003ca href=\"http://www.firstsecondbooks.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">First Second Books\u003c/a>, would say talent has a lot to do with his success, too. Siegel says he was hooked immediately by Yang’s first book, \u003cem>American Born Chinese\u003c/em>, when it was still an unfinished draft.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“This was tapping into a bigger conversation,” Siegel explains. “There’s the universal immigration story, but the Chinese version of that story has not been told in the way he tackles it. Then there’s also the story of internalized racism in the second and third generations. This is part of America’s big conversation with itself.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Siegel adds Yang’s body of work continued to unfold and mature with \u003cem>Boxers & Saints, \u003c/em>which tells the story of the Boxer Rebellion in China at the turn of the 20th century. The story is told from two different, competing perspectives. “It’s kind of rare to find someone who can really rivet you with a story and teach,” Siegel says. “He’s not clobbering you over the head with a message. He’s exploring something with you, and you feel that.”\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/T9JLPevOw68'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/T9JLPevOw68'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Yang is a professional educator. He spent 17 years teaching computer science at Bishop O’Dowd High School in Oakland. \u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/secret-coders-book-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Secret Coders\u003c/a>, released in September, was inspired by that experience. “You ought to be able to do basic programming from reading the first volume,” he told the \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/04/books/library-of-congress-anoints-graphic-novelist-as-ambassador-for-young-peoples-literature.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New York Times\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang is friends with author Marsha Qualey. “She says that at the heart of every young adult book is this equation: belonging+power=identity. I think that a lot of my stories are about those things, about somebody trying to find where they belong, somebody trying to find where their sense of power is, and out of that, trying to construct an identity for themselves.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once Yang’s publishing career took off in the last decade, the Bay Area native found himself increasingly pulled away from the classroom, until finally he decided to quit teaching at the end of the last school year. But his plans for the ambassador role indicate he’s not giving up his primary focus: kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cdiv class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__shortcodes__shortcodeWrapper'>\n \u003ciframe width='”100%”' height='’166′'\n scrolling='no' frameborder='no'\n src='https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/241000582″&visual=true&”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false”'\n title='”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/241000582″'>\n \u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/div>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yang says his passion right now is a program he calls Reading Without Walls, designed to excite young readers to stretch beyond their comfort zone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Pick up a book that features somebody on the cover that doesn’t look like you, or doesn’t live like you,” Yang says. “Using books to explore subjects that you may not necessarily be comfortable with, or that you may find intimidating.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there’s \u003ca href=\"http://geneyang.com/superman\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Superman\u003c/a>. DC Comics invited to write new adventures for Yang’s first super-hero love. It might seem a departure from his deeply person work, but Yang doesn’t think so.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Superman is also the prototypical immigrant,” Yang explains. “A lot of his life is about negotiating between these two different identities, these two different cultures. Superman really resonates with the Asian-American experience. You know, he has black hair. He wears glasses. His parents are these non-English speaking scientists who send him to America for a better life. I think all those things are connection points for me into that character.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11219900\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 630px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11219900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut.jpg\" alt=' Gene Luen Yang is writing Superman for DC Comics. \"You have to find the parts of him that overlap with parts of you.\"' width=\"630\" height=\"420\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut.jpg 630w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/01/RS17938_Yang01-630x420-qut-400x267.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Gene Luen Yang is writing Superman for DC Comics. “You have to find the parts of him that overlap with parts of you.” \u003ccite>(Courtesy of Gene Luen Yang)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Premiere Recap: Let's Talk About Sex",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Premiere Recap: Let's Talk About Sex",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"u6kwxRc751Fj27mVoFyYa7hMMbDDYM0U\"]Piano keys plink dramatically, a bell tolls, a single rose petal falls, a feather duster flirts with a chandelier: all portents of the final season of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, a soap opera we all didn’t have to feel bad about watching because of the vaguely historical storylines and the fancy British accents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forget everything that happened last year? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/03/01/downton-abbey-season-5-finale-recap-all-i-want-for-christmas-is-you/\" target=\"_blank\">Refresh your memory\u003c/a>.\u003cbr>\nWonder how I think everything should end? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Read up\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone else, let’s do this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A crazy amount of dogs follow white dudes in fancy red coats and top hats on horseback. Right off the bat, the \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> producers are trying to make up for killing Isis, the only dog that matters. This will not work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas carries a tray of goblets out to the red coats. Maybe one of them will be his new rich love interest and he’ll finally have the means to quit this dumb job and live happily ever after? Yeah, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He passes a drink to Mary, who is wearing a bowler hat and a black coat and \u003cstrong>NOT\u003c/strong> riding side-saddle like a proper, demure lady, because, ever since her sex vacation last season, she doesn’t really give a you-know-what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sad, overwhelmed Molesley comes outside and all the dogs immediately sniff out his desperation and start barking at him. Per usual, Molesley sucks at life and comes *this close* to dropping everything on his tray. Carson raises an eyebrow at him that translates to: \u003cem>How in the world have I not fired you yet?!\u003c/em> That’s a really good question.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A woman in a hat approaches Downton. Let it be Sybil! Maybe she faked her own death to get a break from all her nosy relatives and travel the world or become a progressive politician or something? I don’t care how outlandish the story, I just want Sybil back! #MakeItRightJulianFellowes #BringBackTheHaremPants #StandAgainstPreeclampsia\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cora Crawley reminds her husband, Robert, that he probably shouldn’t bail on some important board meeting in order to go hunting. Robert, who has learned nothing from his long history of screwing up business transactions and losing much of the family’s fortune, is like, \u003cem>Whatever, mom!\u003c/em> and gallops off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cora should have listened to me last season when I screamed at her through my computer screen: STAY WITH THE ART DUDE! OR GO TO JAMAICA AND GET YOUR GROOVE BACK! ANYTHING BUT THIS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Robert notice the woman in the hat and wonder who she is. She doesn’t look like Sybil so who cares.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert gives Mary a hard time for not being \"graceful\" and riding side-saddle because it’s only been 2 minutes and we need a reminder that he represents ye olde patriarchy. Mary is not having any of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s 1925. Remember when the show started with\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/12/17/titanic-turns-18-what-you-dont-know-about-the-film/\" target=\"_blank\"> the Titanic\u003c/a> sinking? That was 1912, which means that it’s supposedly been 13 years (math!) since we first met these characters. Even Maggie Smith \u003ca href=\"http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2013/03/maggie-smith-downton-abbey-dowager-countess\" target=\"_blank\">has wondered\u003c/a> how the Dowager Countess is still alive. I'm not concerned with that because the answer’s easy; a being as perfect as that is clearly an immortal goddess dating back to ancient Egypt. What I do wonder is: why is Daisy still basically a baby? Also immortal?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson talks to Not Sybil, who's still loitering. I have no idea what in the world they’re talking about. Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Edith’s kids watch Mrs. Patmore bake. One of them speaks (a first!) and asks to lick the bowl. Eventually, the subject will shift from how delicious cake batter is to how the nearly constant absence of their parents contributed to their inability to accept love or engage in any meaningful intimacy. Hopefully the family still has money for all those therapist bills by then (not likely, if Grandpa Robert keeps bailing on meetings to futz around in the woods).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Thomas talk about how nice (i.e. cute) the new footman, Andy, is. Then, Mrs. Hughes basically warns Thomas not to get an unrequited crush on this one. He stares at her with a weird smile for a beat too long, which means he’s fantasizing about killing her for saying that, but he snaps out of it in order to give baby George a piggy back ride 'cause why not?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daisy asks Mrs. Hughes if she’s set a wedding date yet. She hasn’t because Carson only really kisses her on the forehead and a woman has needs. (I may have inferred a great deal of this.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Mrs. Patmore finds Mrs. Hughes for some real talk. Mrs. Hughes pretends nothing is wrong and Mrs. Patmore gives her a \u003cem>girl, please\u003c/em> look. Turns out I was wrong about Mrs. Hughes wanting more than forehead kisses. She is really freaked out about having sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore brings in reason: \"There's nothing so terrible about it, is there?\" But then she keeps talking: \"…so they say…I wouldn't know, of course.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you mean to tell me Mrs. Patmore, who is easily pushing 60, has never ever had sex?! Hurry up, Women's Lib!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes thinks her \"late middle age\" body is repulsive and prefers the idea of living like \"a very loving brother and sister\" to Carson ever seeing her naked. Mrs. Patmore points out that Carson's body is probably pretty gross too. Mrs. Hughes agrees and momentarily feels better, before asking Mrs. Patmore to go iron this whole naked sex arrangement out with Carson. Now \u003cem>that's\u003c/em> a friend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the stairwell, Mrs. Patmore runs into Anna, who is crying because that's all her body knows how to do. I wish she would make a pro/con list about her marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pro:\u003c/strong> he's kind of cute, if you're into that sort of thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Con:\u003c/strong> he's maybe murdered two different people, is always grumpy, scares potential friends away, talks a big game, but can't back it up, etc. etc. etc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out in the woods, Not Sybil is loitering again. Get a hobby already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary spots her and instantly falls off her horse into the mud. Her dad is kind of worried, but had suspected Mary would be taken down, one way or another, by the un-feminine way she was riding. Not Sybil looks pleased and evil in the distance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, some insecure editor dude is yelling at Edith over the phone. He apparently doesn't like working for a woman. Cora suggests she just sell the business and go back to just sitting around. Edith is like nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Dowager Countess and cousin Isobel are fighting again (so much for all that ya-ya sisterhood last season). Some big hospital wants to buy their little village hospital. Countess wants to retain control. Isobel thinks it would be better for the patients if they were to hand it over. Isobel's former suitor (you remember, the one with those jerk sons) tells her he's glad they agree. Isobel replies by singing the chorus of Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary returns home to find Not Sybil lurking in the bushes. She's had enough and confronts the mystery lady. Turns out she's a chambermaid from the hotel where Mary had her sex vacation. Well, damn!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She allegedly has\u003ca href=\"http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcspb0ZJ3C1qfqdfr.gif\" target=\"_blank\"> receipts\u003c/a> to prove that Mary is a whore and wants money to keep quiet. Mary says that this isn't the first time someone's tried to blackmail her and walks away in the rain. Not Sybil But A Blackmailing Chambermaid keeps spewing threats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we just skip this storyline? It's the final season. Let's spend it worrying about more important things like getting Mrs. Patmore laid and figuring out a way for Edith to kill some Nazis for probably killing her baby daddy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in the servants' rec room or whatever, Anna is still being a downer. Meanwhile, Thomas is tired from giving baby Marigold piggy back rides all day. Is he grooming these children to be his accomplices since none of the other servants are evil these days?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Molesely says something like, \u003cem>Gosh, how great that Lady Edith found this random pauper baby in the village and wants to give her a better life!\u003c/em> So simple and gullible. Bless his heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room upstairs, Robert and Carson complain about how the servant to rich person ratio is going down. Robert then proceeds to condescendingly lecture Carson about how you can’t resist time or progress, despite the fact that he tried to do just that every moment of the previous five seasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's bedroom, Anna and Mary talk about the blackmailer and the latest in Anna's court case (she's on bail for now) before talking about what's really important: whatever will they do about Mary's wet hair?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe-shining room (if Tori Spelling's mom can have \u003ca href=\"http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/galleries/candyspelling/candy_spelling2.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">a whole room dedicated to gift-wrapping\u003c/a>, the Crawleys can have one for this, okay?), Bates tries to figure out why Anna is sad. She insists that she's fine…and then bursts into sobs. She had a miscarriage. Did a woman who's married to a creepy bore and is currently on bail for maybe killing her rapist really need another adversity, \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, the family speaks of Tom Branson (come back!). He's found a flat in Boston and Sybbie likes her new school. Robert uses this news as an opportunity to diss the American accent. Cora quickly reminds him that, despite her weird hybrid accent, she is an American! Again, art dude or Jamaica; you have options, Cora!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary announces that she is going to take over Branson's former duties and everyone gets into a debate about whether women are capable of doing stuff. Robert has changed his tone from outright misogynist to pretend feminist: \"Long live women's rights and all that, but it's not a good idea to take on a job that wears you out.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel brings up the hospital fight again in front of everyone. Both the Countess and I are appalled at her lack of manners.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Mrs. Patmore tries to broach the uncomfortable naked fornication subject. It's a shame Salt 'n' Pepa's \"Let's Talk About Sex\" wasn't written yet. That could have helped things along.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore finally gets around to kind of sort of bringing it up: \"Do you expect to share your…way of life?\" And thus, she wins the award for best euphemism for a penis ever uttered. As if we could love her any more, she then takes a shot of port and gets the hell out of there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Dowager and Robert whine about downsizing. Boo hoo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the sitting room, Edith mentions going to London and maybe setting up her own apartment there. One second after she leaves the room, Mary lets one fly: \"Edith, alone on the town, what will she get up to?\" I wish these two would duel and get it over with. Maybe it would even inspire a super popular \u003cem>Hamilton\u003c/em>-esque musical!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore are speaking in code about sex again, when Blackmail Girl interrupts. All these servants and no one is serving as a bouncer? Who let homegirl in?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, she wants to deliver something to Mary herself and Mrs. Hughes rightly says \"We don't know you\" as shadily \u003ca href=\"http://logoonline.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/mariah-gif-1442374580.0.gif\" target=\"_blank\">as Mariah Carey would\u003c/a>, but the blackmailer makes it happen because Mrs. Hughes is busy thinking about Carson's \"way of life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up in Mary's room, Blackmail Girl says a bunch of rude things, while eating a bit of Mary's toast. Then, she THROWS THE PIECE OF TOAST DOWN REALLY HARD! I was so scandalized, I gasped. Did you? Mary calls the woman \"revolting\" and has Anna, who isn't crying for once (!), escort her out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village doctor's office, he and cousin Isobel disagree some more on the hospital crisis. He asks, \"Do you not care?\" I'll answer for all of us and say, Not even a little bit. Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Mr. Carson's office, a police officer tells Anna and Bates that some woman has confessed to the murder of the rapist, but that they're not in the clear just yet. Bates is pissed that he told them at all, which means that this police dude has a 82% chance of ending up mysteriously dead before the season is up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Carson tells Robert about the eviction of Daisy's father-in-law (remember she married that dying guy even though she was totally just not that into him way back?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson runs into his fiancé and calls her Mrs. Hughes, as he always does. She suggests he start calling her Elsie. He says, nope, and then presses her to set the date. She refuses and gets the hell away from the gross naked body underneath his clothes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager's maid, Denker, shows up and stirs the pot by telling everyone they're probably getting laid off. Everyone hates her and her weird eyebrows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Robert confirms that yes, Daisy's father-in-law is probably being evicted. Ah, glad that's settled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's pad, Denker is now telling Spratt, the butler, that he's probably going to be laid off. The Dowager enters and asks Spratt to let the cook know she's ready for dinner. Spratt falls right into Denker's trap by going all Tourette's and blurting out, \"I will, although you could have rang for her yourself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager whips around and has him beheaded on the spot. Well, actually she just says \"I beg your pardon?!\" in an outraged old lady sort of way, but it's basically the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna tells Mary about how much she wanted to slap the blackmailer. Yes, Anna, less crying, more revenge!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's pantry, Mrs. Patmore and Carson finally start talking about sex, albeit only through euphemisms. Carson must decide between sexless companionship or hanging from the chandeliers. Which will it be?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Anna feels like a loser for being barren.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back inside, Carson decides that yes, he does want to have naked sex. Mrs. Patmore says she hopes he gets to have sex soon and goes off to relay the message to Mrs. Hughes. Wow, hooking up pre-Tinder was super involved!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spratt tattles on Denker because the \"snitches get stitches\" aphorism wasn't invented yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Downton kitchen, Daisy shares her plans to attend her father-in-law's former landlord's auction by riding in the front of one of the Downton carriages. Mrs. Patmore says Mr. Carson won't allow it and Daisy responds, \"Even Mr. Carson can't always have his own way.\" Yes, Daisy, you immortal, ageless beauty, do whatever you want!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, Blackmail Girl is back. Molesley lets her right in 'cause, again, he sucks at life. Carson is over her too and tries to kick her out, but she worms her way in again. After a nuclear holocaust, all that will be left is cockroaches, Cher and Blackmail Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Edith tells her aunt that she's met Virginia Woolf before. Way to bury the lead, Edith! I knew you were cool! Her aunt thinks so too and asks if she wants to spend the rest of her life hanging around Downton \"being sniped at by Mary\" or if she wants to be a hipster in London. Be a hipster, Edith! Become Virginia Woolf's publisher and lover 'cause being with men hasn't been really working out for you so far. Lest we forget that burn victim you crushed on who was also your maladjusted cousin or whatever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Mary comes home to find Blackmail Girl hanging out with her Papa. He pays her off, against Mary's wishes, and BG leaves in a cloud of insults (if it was 2014, I would say \"Bye, Felicia!\" but I can't anymore because 2015 happened so I'll just leave it at \"Bye\").\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Robert proceed to talk about her sex vacation in a much more straightforward manner than Mr. Carson and Mrs. Patmore did earlier. \u003cem>Papa, I had to know if he was bad at sex before I married him and he was!\u003c/em> she said (in so many words).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Plot twist:\u003c/strong> Robert did something awesome for a change! He only paid Blackmail Girl 50 pounds and made her sign a confession! And then he said he believes Mary can run the estate, despite her ovaries! Huzzah!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Mrs. Hughes is still not sure if she wants to have sex or not. Good grief, girl, just do it. You'll like it. Unless you don't (see: Mary's sex vacation).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Crawleys are leaving for the auction. Edith alludes to leaving Yorkshire to become a Bloomsbury hipster. Mary is at a loss for words 'cause she's probably mad she didn't think of it first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson randomly ignores Thomas, inspiring another one of Thomas' one-beat-too-long stares and smiles. He's totally going to kill all of these people someday soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's house, cousin Isobel talks about the hospital situatio….zzzzzzzzzzz. Oops, nodded off there for a second, where was I?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager off-handedly tells Denker she will miss her, although nothing is yet settled. Denker waits until she's in the hallway to die a little inside. The Dowager then shares some advice on how to be a boss with cousin Isobel: \"Sometimes, it's good to rule by fear.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the auction, the Crawleys chat with the sad sack who has to sell all his stuff and move to a small hole in London. He warns ominously not to hang on so long that they lose everything. Edith is like, \u003cem>Right on!\u003c/em> 'cause she's moving soon and no longer gives a damn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different room, Daisy and her father-in-law, whose family lived and worked at this place for generations, gawk at all the rich people's things…until Daisy finds the new owner who is kicking her father-in-law out and loudly lets him have it. What all that book learnin' has wrought!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert and Edith keep trying to stop her from speaking, but she has \u003ca href=\"https://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq5g36IMra1qijqv8o1_250.gif\" target=\"_blank\">something to say\u003c/a>! \u003cstrong>Cliffs Notes version:\u003c/strong> The proletariat rules, the aristocracy drools. This does not go over well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Daisy worries aloud about how she's probably going to get fired, but everyone is like, \u003cem>Shut up, the police officer is back! \u003c/em>He tells everyone that the confession has been confirmed. Anna is officially a free woman!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Crawleys run downstairs to pop some bottles. They even get out the gramophone! Everyone does the 1925 version of twerking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna is excited and all, but she brings up her inability to have babies again 'cause she's gotten used to always being distraught over something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson finds Cora and Robert, asks if he should fire Daisy and compares what she did to Guy Fawkes blowing up Parliament. Those two incidents are exactly the same; you're right, Carson. Ugh, I hope he never ends up having sex. Thankfully, Cora and Robert respond with a tepid \u003cem>meh\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Carson finally talk about sex and agree to do it, even though Carson doesn't deserve it. \"If you want me, you can have me, warts and all,\" she says. Then, they make out…using their lips!…zero foreheads involved! Good for them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FIN.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blackmail Girl/Not Sybil: \u003c/strong>Better luck next time, loitering jerk. P.S. You're probably going to hell for throwing that piece of toast like that. Hope you packed sunblock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Isis:\u003c/strong> The \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> producers are gonna have to find more dogs than that, if they want us to forget you, old friend (impossible).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Daisy: \u003c/strong>Tell it, sister! And stay in school!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Edith:\u003c/strong> For knowing Virginia Woolf and planning on moving out. Your day in the sun has come at last (or has it?)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Mrs. Patmore:\u003c/strong> We would all be so lucky to have a bestie like you. Talking to Carson, the stodgiest person ever to live, about boinking? That's immediate first place status. A Nobel Peace Prize isn't out of the question either. Take note, other Downton denizens!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/22/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-8-recap-london-calling/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 8 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/03/01/downton-abbey-season-5-finale-recap-all-i-want-for-christmas-is-you/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Finale Recap: All I Want for Christmas Is You\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>Piano keys plink dramatically, a bell tolls, a single rose petal falls, a feather duster flirts with a chandelier: all portents of the final season of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, a soap opera we all didn’t have to feel bad about watching because of the vaguely historical storylines and the fancy British accents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forget everything that happened last year? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/03/01/downton-abbey-season-5-finale-recap-all-i-want-for-christmas-is-you/\" target=\"_blank\">Refresh your memory\u003c/a>.\u003cbr>\nWonder how I think everything should end? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Read up\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone else, let’s do this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A crazy amount of dogs follow white dudes in fancy red coats and top hats on horseback. Right off the bat, the \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> producers are trying to make up for killing Isis, the only dog that matters. This will not work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thomas carries a tray of goblets out to the red coats. Maybe one of them will be his new rich love interest and he’ll finally have the means to quit this dumb job and live happily ever after? Yeah, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He passes a drink to Mary, who is wearing a bowler hat and a black coat and \u003cstrong>NOT\u003c/strong> riding side-saddle like a proper, demure lady, because, ever since her sex vacation last season, she doesn’t really give a you-know-what.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sad, overwhelmed Molesley comes outside and all the dogs immediately sniff out his desperation and start barking at him. Per usual, Molesley sucks at life and comes *this close* to dropping everything on his tray. Carson raises an eyebrow at him that translates to: \u003cem>How in the world have I not fired you yet?!\u003c/em> That’s a really good question.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A woman in a hat approaches Downton. Let it be Sybil! Maybe she faked her own death to get a break from all her nosy relatives and travel the world or become a progressive politician or something? I don’t care how outlandish the story, I just want Sybil back! #MakeItRightJulianFellowes #BringBackTheHaremPants #StandAgainstPreeclampsia\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cora Crawley reminds her husband, Robert, that he probably shouldn’t bail on some important board meeting in order to go hunting. Robert, who has learned nothing from his long history of screwing up business transactions and losing much of the family’s fortune, is like, \u003cem>Whatever, mom!\u003c/em> and gallops off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cora should have listened to me last season when I screamed at her through my computer screen: STAY WITH THE ART DUDE! OR GO TO JAMAICA AND GET YOUR GROOVE BACK! ANYTHING BUT THIS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Robert notice the woman in the hat and wonder who she is. She doesn’t look like Sybil so who cares.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert gives Mary a hard time for not being \"graceful\" and riding side-saddle because it’s only been 2 minutes and we need a reminder that he represents ye olde patriarchy. Mary is not having any of it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s 1925. Remember when the show started with\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/12/17/titanic-turns-18-what-you-dont-know-about-the-film/\" target=\"_blank\"> the Titanic\u003c/a> sinking? That was 1912, which means that it’s supposedly been 13 years (math!) since we first met these characters. Even Maggie Smith \u003ca href=\"http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2013/03/maggie-smith-downton-abbey-dowager-countess\" target=\"_blank\">has wondered\u003c/a> how the Dowager Countess is still alive. I'm not concerned with that because the answer’s easy; a being as perfect as that is clearly an immortal goddess dating back to ancient Egypt. What I do wonder is: why is Daisy still basically a baby? Also immortal?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson talks to Not Sybil, who's still loitering. I have no idea what in the world they’re talking about. Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Edith’s kids watch Mrs. Patmore bake. One of them speaks (a first!) and asks to lick the bowl. Eventually, the subject will shift from how delicious cake batter is to how the nearly constant absence of their parents contributed to their inability to accept love or engage in any meaningful intimacy. Hopefully the family still has money for all those therapist bills by then (not likely, if Grandpa Robert keeps bailing on meetings to futz around in the woods).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Thomas talk about how nice (i.e. cute) the new footman, Andy, is. Then, Mrs. Hughes basically warns Thomas not to get an unrequited crush on this one. He stares at her with a weird smile for a beat too long, which means he’s fantasizing about killing her for saying that, but he snaps out of it in order to give baby George a piggy back ride 'cause why not?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daisy asks Mrs. Hughes if she’s set a wedding date yet. She hasn’t because Carson only really kisses her on the forehead and a woman has needs. (I may have inferred a great deal of this.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Mrs. Patmore finds Mrs. Hughes for some real talk. Mrs. Hughes pretends nothing is wrong and Mrs. Patmore gives her a \u003cem>girl, please\u003c/em> look. Turns out I was wrong about Mrs. Hughes wanting more than forehead kisses. She is really freaked out about having sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore brings in reason: \"There's nothing so terrible about it, is there?\" But then she keeps talking: \"…so they say…I wouldn't know, of course.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you mean to tell me Mrs. Patmore, who is easily pushing 60, has never ever had sex?! Hurry up, Women's Lib!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes thinks her \"late middle age\" body is repulsive and prefers the idea of living like \"a very loving brother and sister\" to Carson ever seeing her naked. Mrs. Patmore points out that Carson's body is probably pretty gross too. Mrs. Hughes agrees and momentarily feels better, before asking Mrs. Patmore to go iron this whole naked sex arrangement out with Carson. Now \u003cem>that's\u003c/em> a friend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the stairwell, Mrs. Patmore runs into Anna, who is crying because that's all her body knows how to do. I wish she would make a pro/con list about her marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pro:\u003c/strong> he's kind of cute, if you're into that sort of thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Con:\u003c/strong> he's maybe murdered two different people, is always grumpy, scares potential friends away, talks a big game, but can't back it up, etc. etc. etc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out in the woods, Not Sybil is loitering again. Get a hobby already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary spots her and instantly falls off her horse into the mud. Her dad is kind of worried, but had suspected Mary would be taken down, one way or another, by the un-feminine way she was riding. Not Sybil looks pleased and evil in the distance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, some insecure editor dude is yelling at Edith over the phone. He apparently doesn't like working for a woman. Cora suggests she just sell the business and go back to just sitting around. Edith is like nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Dowager Countess and cousin Isobel are fighting again (so much for all that ya-ya sisterhood last season). Some big hospital wants to buy their little village hospital. Countess wants to retain control. Isobel thinks it would be better for the patients if they were to hand it over. Isobel's former suitor (you remember, the one with those jerk sons) tells her he's glad they agree. Isobel replies by singing the chorus of Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary returns home to find Not Sybil lurking in the bushes. She's had enough and confronts the mystery lady. Turns out she's a chambermaid from the hotel where Mary had her sex vacation. Well, damn!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She allegedly has\u003ca href=\"http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcspb0ZJ3C1qfqdfr.gif\" target=\"_blank\"> receipts\u003c/a> to prove that Mary is a whore and wants money to keep quiet. Mary says that this isn't the first time someone's tried to blackmail her and walks away in the rain. Not Sybil But A Blackmailing Chambermaid keeps spewing threats.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we just skip this storyline? It's the final season. Let's spend it worrying about more important things like getting Mrs. Patmore laid and figuring out a way for Edith to kill some Nazis for probably killing her baby daddy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in the servants' rec room or whatever, Anna is still being a downer. Meanwhile, Thomas is tired from giving baby Marigold piggy back rides all day. Is he grooming these children to be his accomplices since none of the other servants are evil these days?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Molesely says something like, \u003cem>Gosh, how great that Lady Edith found this random pauper baby in the village and wants to give her a better life!\u003c/em> So simple and gullible. Bless his heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room upstairs, Robert and Carson complain about how the servant to rich person ratio is going down. Robert then proceeds to condescendingly lecture Carson about how you can’t resist time or progress, despite the fact that he tried to do just that every moment of the previous five seasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's bedroom, Anna and Mary talk about the blackmailer and the latest in Anna's court case (she's on bail for now) before talking about what's really important: whatever will they do about Mary's wet hair?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe-shining room (if Tori Spelling's mom can have \u003ca href=\"http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/galleries/candyspelling/candy_spelling2.jpg\" target=\"_blank\">a whole room dedicated to gift-wrapping\u003c/a>, the Crawleys can have one for this, okay?), Bates tries to figure out why Anna is sad. She insists that she's fine…and then bursts into sobs. She had a miscarriage. Did a woman who's married to a creepy bore and is currently on bail for maybe killing her rapist really need another adversity, \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, the family speaks of Tom Branson (come back!). He's found a flat in Boston and Sybbie likes her new school. Robert uses this news as an opportunity to diss the American accent. Cora quickly reminds him that, despite her weird hybrid accent, she is an American! Again, art dude or Jamaica; you have options, Cora!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary announces that she is going to take over Branson's former duties and everyone gets into a debate about whether women are capable of doing stuff. Robert has changed his tone from outright misogynist to pretend feminist: \"Long live women's rights and all that, but it's not a good idea to take on a job that wears you out.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel brings up the hospital fight again in front of everyone. Both the Countess and I are appalled at her lack of manners.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Mrs. Patmore tries to broach the uncomfortable naked fornication subject. It's a shame Salt 'n' Pepa's \"Let's Talk About Sex\" wasn't written yet. That could have helped things along.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore finally gets around to kind of sort of bringing it up: \"Do you expect to share your…way of life?\" And thus, she wins the award for best euphemism for a penis ever uttered. As if we could love her any more, she then takes a shot of port and gets the hell out of there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Dowager and Robert whine about downsizing. Boo hoo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the sitting room, Edith mentions going to London and maybe setting up her own apartment there. One second after she leaves the room, Mary lets one fly: \"Edith, alone on the town, what will she get up to?\" I wish these two would duel and get it over with. Maybe it would even inspire a super popular \u003cem>Hamilton\u003c/em>-esque musical!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore are speaking in code about sex again, when Blackmail Girl interrupts. All these servants and no one is serving as a bouncer? Who let homegirl in?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, she wants to deliver something to Mary herself and Mrs. Hughes rightly says \"We don't know you\" as shadily \u003ca href=\"http://logoonline.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:file:http:shared:newnownext.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/mariah-gif-1442374580.0.gif\" target=\"_blank\">as Mariah Carey would\u003c/a>, but the blackmailer makes it happen because Mrs. Hughes is busy thinking about Carson's \"way of life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up in Mary's room, Blackmail Girl says a bunch of rude things, while eating a bit of Mary's toast. Then, she THROWS THE PIECE OF TOAST DOWN REALLY HARD! I was so scandalized, I gasped. Did you? Mary calls the woman \"revolting\" and has Anna, who isn't crying for once (!), escort her out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village doctor's office, he and cousin Isobel disagree some more on the hospital crisis. He asks, \"Do you not care?\" I'll answer for all of us and say, Not even a little bit. Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Mr. Carson's office, a police officer tells Anna and Bates that some woman has confessed to the murder of the rapist, but that they're not in the clear just yet. Bates is pissed that he told them at all, which means that this police dude has a 82% chance of ending up mysteriously dead before the season is up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Carson tells Robert about the eviction of Daisy's father-in-law (remember she married that dying guy even though she was totally just not that into him way back?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Carson runs into his fiancé and calls her Mrs. Hughes, as he always does. She suggests he start calling her Elsie. He says, nope, and then presses her to set the date. She refuses and gets the hell away from the gross naked body underneath his clothes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager's maid, Denker, shows up and stirs the pot by telling everyone they're probably getting laid off. Everyone hates her and her weird eyebrows.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Robert confirms that yes, Daisy's father-in-law is probably being evicted. Ah, glad that's settled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's pad, Denker is now telling Spratt, the butler, that he's probably going to be laid off. The Dowager enters and asks Spratt to let the cook know she's ready for dinner. Spratt falls right into Denker's trap by going all Tourette's and blurting out, \"I will, although you could have rang for her yourself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager whips around and has him beheaded on the spot. Well, actually she just says \"I beg your pardon?!\" in an outraged old lady sort of way, but it's basically the same thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna tells Mary about how much she wanted to slap the blackmailer. Yes, Anna, less crying, more revenge!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's pantry, Mrs. Patmore and Carson finally start talking about sex, albeit only through euphemisms. Carson must decide between sexless companionship or hanging from the chandeliers. Which will it be?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Anna feels like a loser for being barren.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back inside, Carson decides that yes, he does want to have naked sex. Mrs. Patmore says she hopes he gets to have sex soon and goes off to relay the message to Mrs. Hughes. Wow, hooking up pre-Tinder was super involved!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spratt tattles on Denker because the \"snitches get stitches\" aphorism wasn't invented yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Downton kitchen, Daisy shares her plans to attend her father-in-law's former landlord's auction by riding in the front of one of the Downton carriages. Mrs. Patmore says Mr. Carson won't allow it and Daisy responds, \"Even Mr. Carson can't always have his own way.\" Yes, Daisy, you immortal, ageless beauty, do whatever you want!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, Blackmail Girl is back. Molesley lets her right in 'cause, again, he sucks at life. Carson is over her too and tries to kick her out, but she worms her way in again. After a nuclear holocaust, all that will be left is cockroaches, Cher and Blackmail Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Edith tells her aunt that she's met Virginia Woolf before. Way to bury the lead, Edith! I knew you were cool! Her aunt thinks so too and asks if she wants to spend the rest of her life hanging around Downton \"being sniped at by Mary\" or if she wants to be a hipster in London. Be a hipster, Edith! Become Virginia Woolf's publisher and lover 'cause being with men hasn't been really working out for you so far. Lest we forget that burn victim you crushed on who was also your maladjusted cousin or whatever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Mary comes home to find Blackmail Girl hanging out with her Papa. He pays her off, against Mary's wishes, and BG leaves in a cloud of insults (if it was 2014, I would say \"Bye, Felicia!\" but I can't anymore because 2015 happened so I'll just leave it at \"Bye\").\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mary and Robert proceed to talk about her sex vacation in a much more straightforward manner than Mr. Carson and Mrs. Patmore did earlier. \u003cem>Papa, I had to know if he was bad at sex before I married him and he was!\u003c/em> she said (in so many words).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Plot twist:\u003c/strong> Robert did something awesome for a change! He only paid Blackmail Girl 50 pounds and made her sign a confession! And then he said he believes Mary can run the estate, despite her ovaries! Huzzah!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Mrs. Hughes is still not sure if she wants to have sex or not. Good grief, girl, just do it. You'll like it. Unless you don't (see: Mary's sex vacation).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the Crawleys are leaving for the auction. Edith alludes to leaving Yorkshire to become a Bloomsbury hipster. Mary is at a loss for words 'cause she's probably mad she didn't think of it first.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson randomly ignores Thomas, inspiring another one of Thomas' one-beat-too-long stares and smiles. He's totally going to kill all of these people someday soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's house, cousin Isobel talks about the hospital situatio….zzzzzzzzzzz. Oops, nodded off there for a second, where was I?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dowager off-handedly tells Denker she will miss her, although nothing is yet settled. Denker waits until she's in the hallway to die a little inside. The Dowager then shares some advice on how to be a boss with cousin Isobel: \"Sometimes, it's good to rule by fear.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the auction, the Crawleys chat with the sad sack who has to sell all his stuff and move to a small hole in London. He warns ominously not to hang on so long that they lose everything. Edith is like, \u003cem>Right on!\u003c/em> 'cause she's moving soon and no longer gives a damn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different room, Daisy and her father-in-law, whose family lived and worked at this place for generations, gawk at all the rich people's things…until Daisy finds the new owner who is kicking her father-in-law out and loudly lets him have it. What all that book learnin' has wrought!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert and Edith keep trying to stop her from speaking, but she has \u003ca href=\"https://49.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq5g36IMra1qijqv8o1_250.gif\" target=\"_blank\">something to say\u003c/a>! \u003cstrong>Cliffs Notes version:\u003c/strong> The proletariat rules, the aristocracy drools. This does not go over well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Daisy worries aloud about how she's probably going to get fired, but everyone is like, \u003cem>Shut up, the police officer is back! \u003c/em>He tells everyone that the confession has been confirmed. Anna is officially a free woman!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Crawleys run downstairs to pop some bottles. They even get out the gramophone! Everyone does the 1925 version of twerking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna is excited and all, but she brings up her inability to have babies again 'cause she's gotten used to always being distraught over something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson finds Cora and Robert, asks if he should fire Daisy and compares what she did to Guy Fawkes blowing up Parliament. Those two incidents are exactly the same; you're right, Carson. Ugh, I hope he never ends up having sex. Thankfully, Cora and Robert respond with a tepid \u003cem>meh\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes and Carson finally talk about sex and agree to do it, even though Carson doesn't deserve it. \"If you want me, you can have me, warts and all,\" she says. Then, they make out…using their lips!…zero foreheads involved! Good for them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FIN.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Blackmail Girl/Not Sybil: \u003c/strong>Better luck next time, loitering jerk. P.S. You're probably going to hell for throwing that piece of toast like that. Hope you packed sunblock.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Isis:\u003c/strong> The \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> producers are gonna have to find more dogs than that, if they want us to forget you, old friend (impossible).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Daisy: \u003c/strong>Tell it, sister! And stay in school!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Edith:\u003c/strong> For knowing Virginia Woolf and planning on moving out. Your day in the sun has come at last (or has it?)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Mrs. Patmore:\u003c/strong> We would all be so lucky to have a bestie like you. Talking to Carson, the stodgiest person ever to live, about boinking? That's immediate first place status. A Nobel Peace Prize isn't out of the question either. Take note, other Downton denizens!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/22/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-8-recap-london-calling/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 8 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "11 Ways To End 2015 On a Happy Note",
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"content": "\u003cp>Well, the \u003ca href=\"http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2015/12/30/jennifer-lawrence-new-years-eve-graham-norton/78066344/\" target=\"_blank\">consensus appears\u003c/a> to be in: \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/12/the-worst-holiday-new-years-eve-is-overhyped-and-anticlimactic/266647/\" target=\"_blank\">New Year's Eve is the worst. \u003c/a>If you're not drunk, crying, or fighting with a significant other around 1 a.m. while trying to find a cab in bare feet because you wore stupid shoes, you're taking care of a friend who's doing all three with gusto. It's enough to make a person want to stay home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, that's suggestion No. 1. While it is possible to go out and not spend your life savings and have a great time -- for options that cost $20 or under, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/12/29/new-years-eve-for-20-and-under-yes-its-possible/\" target=\"_blank\">step right this way\u003c/a> -- it's also true that staying home, whether with a bottle of your favorite Scotch and your Netflix queue or with a carefully curated handful of your favorite humans, is a really good way to point your 2016 in the direction of positivity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So is making donations to a good local organization, of course -- like, say, San Francisco's \u003ca href=\"http://womensbuilding.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Women's Building\u003c/a>. But we'll let you make your charitable donation choices on your own. You also know when and how you want to do yoga, call your mother, or any of the other high-minded activities that are sure to cleanse your soul in time for the new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Got that taken care of? Good. Here are 10 more things to see/read/hear/do that will kick your year off on the right note.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Let Aretha Franklin bring you to happy tears\u003c/strong> with this rendition of \"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman\" at the Kennedy Center Honors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RIgeu-6Jcs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Head to Monterey from the comfort of your computer \u003c/strong>with the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Penguin Cam.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsqS_JOCEWo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Take a cue from Carrie Fisher:\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/682347849502228481\" target=\"_blank\">D\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/31/carrie-fisher-leads-an-older-wiser-revolution.html\" target=\"_blank\">ecide to give exactly zero f*cks about aging\u003c/a> -- and feel free to tell the haters where to get off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/682347849502228481\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Watch Jerry Seinfeld\u003c/strong> pal around \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/12/31/461583459/seinfeld-and-obama-driving-a-stingray-and-getting-coffee\" target=\"_blank\">with President Obama on the \u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-19682\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg.jpg\" alt=\"EBiNu8Qg\" width=\"256\" height=\"256\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg.jpg 335w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 256px) 100vw, 256px\">latest \"Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.\" \u003c/a>NBD.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Download the Trump Filter\u003c/strong> -- and never have to \u003ca href=\"http://trumpfilter.com/\" target=\"_blank\">read his name on the Internet again. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Plan a hot date -- with yourself.\u003c/strong> Here are \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/27/8-things-to-do-solo-in-san-francisco/\">eight local suggestions \u003c/a>from our own Carly Severn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Relive the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/06/17/why-riley-curry-is-the-true-mvp-of-the-nba-finals/\" target=\"_blank\">Year of Riley Curry: \u003c/a>\u003c/strong>Dancer, orator, game-changer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evjJJoEONgo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Remember that 2016 will mark t\u003ca href=\"http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/cover-story/6769236/missy-elliott-comeback-wtf-new-album-graves-disease-anxiety-super-bowl\" target=\"_blank\">he return of Missy Elliott to the national stage.\u003c/a> \u003c/strong>For some of us, this is a resurrection of biblical proportions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO_3Qgib6RQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Make something absolutely ridiculous for dessert. \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/banana-split-brownie-pizza-recipe.html\" target=\"_blank\">This here brownie-banana-split-pizza comes courtesy\u003c/a> of (who else?) Paula Deen. New exercise regimen starts Jan. 2, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Spend some time with Lemmy.\u003c/strong> RIP, sir.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYuSJacb7H0\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Remember that \u003ca href=\"http://www.space.com/29859-the-illusion-of-time.html\" target=\"_blank\">time is maybe just an illusion\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>, and the sun is going to explode some day anyway, so you might as well have fun. Oh, and remember to call your mother. See you next year!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Well, the \u003ca href=\"http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2015/12/30/jennifer-lawrence-new-years-eve-graham-norton/78066344/\" target=\"_blank\">consensus appears\u003c/a> to be in: \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/12/the-worst-holiday-new-years-eve-is-overhyped-and-anticlimactic/266647/\" target=\"_blank\">New Year's Eve is the worst. \u003c/a>If you're not drunk, crying, or fighting with a significant other around 1 a.m. while trying to find a cab in bare feet because you wore stupid shoes, you're taking care of a friend who's doing all three with gusto. It's enough to make a person want to stay home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, that's suggestion No. 1. While it is possible to go out and not spend your life savings and have a great time -- for options that cost $20 or under, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/12/29/new-years-eve-for-20-and-under-yes-its-possible/\" target=\"_blank\">step right this way\u003c/a> -- it's also true that staying home, whether with a bottle of your favorite Scotch and your Netflix queue or with a carefully curated handful of your favorite humans, is a really good way to point your 2016 in the direction of positivity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So is making donations to a good local organization, of course -- like, say, San Francisco's \u003ca href=\"http://womensbuilding.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Women's Building\u003c/a>. But we'll let you make your charitable donation choices on your own. You also know when and how you want to do yoga, call your mother, or any of the other high-minded activities that are sure to cleanse your soul in time for the new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Got that taken care of? Good. Here are 10 more things to see/read/hear/do that will kick your year off on the right note.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Let Aretha Franklin bring you to happy tears\u003c/strong> with this rendition of \"(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman\" at the Kennedy Center Honors.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/5RIgeu-6Jcs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/5RIgeu-6Jcs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Head to Monterey from the comfort of your computer \u003c/strong>with the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Penguin Cam.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qsqS_JOCEWo'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qsqS_JOCEWo'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Take a cue from Carrie Fisher:\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/carrieffisher/status/682347849502228481\" target=\"_blank\">D\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/31/carrie-fisher-leads-an-older-wiser-revolution.html\" target=\"_blank\">ecide to give exactly zero f*cks about aging\u003c/a> -- and feel free to tell the haters where to get off.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Watch Jerry Seinfeld\u003c/strong> pal around \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/12/31/461583459/seinfeld-and-obama-driving-a-stingray-and-getting-coffee\" target=\"_blank\">with President Obama on the \u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-19682\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg.jpg\" alt=\"EBiNu8Qg\" width=\"256\" height=\"256\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg.jpg 335w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/12/EBiNu8Qg-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 256px) 100vw, 256px\">latest \"Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.\" \u003c/a>NBD.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Download the Trump Filter\u003c/strong> -- and never have to \u003ca href=\"http://trumpfilter.com/\" target=\"_blank\">read his name on the Internet again. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Plan a hot date -- with yourself.\u003c/strong> Here are \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/27/8-things-to-do-solo-in-san-francisco/\">eight local suggestions \u003c/a>from our own Carly Severn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Relive the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/06/17/why-riley-curry-is-the-true-mvp-of-the-nba-finals/\" target=\"_blank\">Year of Riley Curry: \u003c/a>\u003c/strong>Dancer, orator, game-changer.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/evjJJoEONgo'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/evjJJoEONgo'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Remember that 2016 will mark t\u003ca href=\"http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/cover-story/6769236/missy-elliott-comeback-wtf-new-album-graves-disease-anxiety-super-bowl\" target=\"_blank\">he return of Missy Elliott to the national stage.\u003c/a> \u003c/strong>For some of us, this is a resurrection of biblical proportions.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/KO_3Qgib6RQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/KO_3Qgib6RQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Make something absolutely ridiculous for dessert. \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/banana-split-brownie-pizza-recipe.html\" target=\"_blank\">This here brownie-banana-split-pizza comes courtesy\u003c/a> of (who else?) Paula Deen. New exercise regimen starts Jan. 2, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Spend some time with Lemmy.\u003c/strong> RIP, sir.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/aYuSJacb7H0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/aYuSJacb7H0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Remember that \u003ca href=\"http://www.space.com/29859-the-illusion-of-time.html\" target=\"_blank\">time is maybe just an illusion\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>, and the sun is going to explode some day anyway, so you might as well have fun. Oh, and remember to call your mother. See you next year!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Your New Year's Eve Bay Area Transportation Guide",
"title": "Your New Year's Eve Bay Area Transportation Guide",
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"content": "\u003cp>If your New Year's resolution is to drive less, or if you're still looking for a designated driver to help you celebrate New Year's Eve, transportation services around the Bay Area are hoping to help you out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Muni, Caltrain and AC Transit are just a few transportation options offering free rides and extended operations on New Year's Eve to carry celebrants into the wee hours of the new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a breakdown of Bay Area transportation options to take you around \u003ca href=\"#sf\">San Francisco\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"#sm\">San Mateo\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"#sc\">Santa Clara\u003c/a> and the \u003ca href=\"#eb\">East Bay\u003c/a> this New Year's Eve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BART:\u003c/strong> While BART is not offering free rides, extended service will be offered until approximately 3 a.m. Friday. Extra trains will be prepared for crowds after the fireworks show at the Embarcadero and will run every 20 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the most exciting things that San Franciscans and Bay Area residents get to do every year is go down and enjoy the fireworks at Embarcadero, so we want to be able to provide that service,\" said BART spokesman Taylor Huckaby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those heading into the city after 8 p.m and those leaving the city after midnight, BART will begin utilizing \"skip-stop\" service in and out of the city. \u003ca href=\"http://www.bart.gov/news/articles/2015/news20151208-0\" target=\"_blank\">Some lines will skip\u003c/a> Embarcadero, Montgomery and West Oakland stations to ease the crowds at the most popular platforms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>BART will operate on a Sunday/holiday schedule on New Year's Day, with service beginning at 8 a.m.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/1231-free-cheap-nye-public-transportation-bartmunisamtranscaltrainvta/\">FuncheapSF\u003c/a> recommends buying round-trip tickets and loading Clipper cards in advance to avoid long lines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Caltrain:\u003c/strong> Caltrain will begin offering free rides at 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. An extra four trains will leave from the \u003ca href=\"http://www.caltrain.com/stations/sanfranciscostation.html\" target=\"_blank\">San Francisco station\u003c/a> after the midnight fireworks show at the Embarcadero. Trains will operate on a \u003ca href=\"http://www.caltrain.com/schedules/weekend-timetable.html\" target=\"_blank\">Sunday/holiday schedule\u003c/a> on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lyft and Uber: \u003c/strong>Lyft prices are capped at 200 percent this New Year's Eve, one of its \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Uber-Lyft-vs-taxis-in-New-Year-s-Eve-fare-war-5984146.php\" target=\"_blank\">most competitive\u003c/a> business days of the year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uber is also taking part in \u003ca href=\"https://help.uber.com/h/6c8065cf-5535-4a8b-9940-d292ffdce119\" target=\"_blank\">surge pricing\u003c/a>. Uber \u003ca href=\"https://newsroom.uber.com/new-years-guide/\" target=\"_blank\">suggests \u003c/a>using the service early or catching a ride after midnight to avoid high fares.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On New Year's Eve last year, some Uber rides cost as much as $100. Lyft set a \"prime-time limit\" at a \u003ca href=\"http://www.ibtimes.com/uber-lyft-new-years-eve-2015-surge-pricing-cost-riders-1771582\" target=\"_blank\">controversial\u003c/a> 400 percent. You can decide if 200 percent is a steal.\u003ca name=\"sf\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>San Francisco\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Muni:\u003c/strong> You can hop on any Muni bus for free starting at 8 p.m. on Thursday through 5 a.m. on Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There will also be extended service until 4 a.m. on Muni Metro lines between West Portal and Embarcadero stations. Service will run until 2:15 a.m. to Fourth and King streets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sfmta.com/calendar/alerts/ride-muni-free-extra-service-new-years-eve\" target=\"_blank\">Extra Owl route \u003c/a>service will be offered from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clipper cards, Muni Mobile passes and Metro fares will not be necessary on Muni buses during free service hours. SFMTA asks that passengers do not tag their Clipper cards during free service hours. If tagged, cards will be charged. Muni Metro fare gates will be set to allow free access.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cab:\u003c/strong> Luxor Cabs in partnership with Berg Injury Lawyers' \u003ca href=\"http://www.berginjurylawyers.com/about-us/community/safe-and-sober/\" target=\"_blank\">Safe and Sober Free Cab Ride Home Program\u003c/a> is offering free cab rides home from 10 p.m. on Thursday through 4 a.m. Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Riders must be picked up at a restaurant, hotel or bar and dropped off to a residency to qualify for a free ride. Free rides do not count if the cab is hailed from the street. Each ride is limited to $35.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For a free cab, you can arrange a ride with Luxor Cab by calling \u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">(415) 282-4141. Patrons can tell the driver to send the taxi receipt to \u003ca href=\"http://www.berginjurylawyers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/BIL_PressRelease_NYE-2015.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">Berg Injury Lawyers. \u003c/a>Berg Injury encourages riders to tip their taxi drivers.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"eb\">\u003c/a> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Alameda-Contra Consta County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>AC Transit: \u003c/strong>Free rides will be offered on all AC Transit lines from 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We want people to be safe and we care about our community,\" said Michele Joseph, director of marketing and communications at AC Transit. \"We care about our customers. And it's really important for everybody to realize the implication of driving while intoxicated.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.actransit.org/2015/12/23/ac-transit-offers-free-rides-on-new-year%E2%80%99s-eve/\" target=\"_blank\">All Nighter service\u003c/a> will be available to those traveling after midnight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_10812200\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-10812200 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-400x176.png\" alt=\"Oakland’s Free B Shuttle bus will be running on New Year’s Eve every 10-15 minutes from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.\" width=\"400\" height=\"176\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-400x176.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-800x352.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-768x338.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map.png 856w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Oakland’s Free B Shuttle bus will be running on New Year’s Eve every 10-15 minutes from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. \u003ccite>(City of Oakland's Economic & Workforce Development Department)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Broadway Shuttle:\u003c/strong> The green\u003ca href=\"http://www.meetdowntownoak.com/shuttle.php\"> bus\u003c/a> taking passengers along Broadway from Jack London Square to 27th Street in Oakland will offer free rides from 7 a.m. on Thursday to 1 a.m. Friday every 10 to 15 minutes.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"sm\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>San Mateo County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SamTrans:\u003c/strong> Free rides on\u003ca href=\"http://www.samtrans.com/about/MediaRelations/news/SamTrans_to_Offer_Free_Service_on_New_Year_s_Eve__Sunday_Schedule_on_New_Year_s_Day_4274.html\"> SamTrans\u003c/a> buses begin at 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. Buses will operate on a Sunday schedule on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Redi-Wheels:\u003c/strong> The district's paratransit service will offer free rides starting at 8 p.m. Thursday.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"sc\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Santa Clara County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>VTA:\u003c/strong> Santa Clara County's Valley Transportation Authority is offering free rides from 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. \u003ca href=\"http://www.vta.org/News-and-Media/Connect-with-VTA/Ride-VTA-on-Us-This-New-Years-Eve#.VoGGrPmANHx\">Extended service\u003c/a> will be offered for the Mountain View-Winchester and Alum Rock-Santa Teresa light-rail lines.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>If your New Year's resolution is to drive less, or if you're still looking for a designated driver to help you celebrate New Year's Eve, transportation services around the Bay Area are hoping to help you out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Muni, Caltrain and AC Transit are just a few transportation options offering free rides and extended operations on New Year's Eve to carry celebrants into the wee hours of the new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here's a breakdown of Bay Area transportation options to take you around \u003ca href=\"#sf\">San Francisco\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"#sm\">San Mateo\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"#sc\">Santa Clara\u003c/a> and the \u003ca href=\"#eb\">East Bay\u003c/a> this New Year's Eve.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>BART:\u003c/strong> While BART is not offering free rides, extended service will be offered until approximately 3 a.m. Friday. Extra trains will be prepared for crowds after the fireworks show at the Embarcadero and will run every 20 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"One of the most exciting things that San Franciscans and Bay Area residents get to do every year is go down and enjoy the fireworks at Embarcadero, so we want to be able to provide that service,\" said BART spokesman Taylor Huckaby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those heading into the city after 8 p.m and those leaving the city after midnight, BART will begin utilizing \"skip-stop\" service in and out of the city. \u003ca href=\"http://www.bart.gov/news/articles/2015/news20151208-0\" target=\"_blank\">Some lines will skip\u003c/a> Embarcadero, Montgomery and West Oakland stations to ease the crowds at the most popular platforms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>BART will operate on a Sunday/holiday schedule on New Year's Day, with service beginning at 8 a.m.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/1231-free-cheap-nye-public-transportation-bartmunisamtranscaltrainvta/\">FuncheapSF\u003c/a> recommends buying round-trip tickets and loading Clipper cards in advance to avoid long lines.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Caltrain:\u003c/strong> Caltrain will begin offering free rides at 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. An extra four trains will leave from the \u003ca href=\"http://www.caltrain.com/stations/sanfranciscostation.html\" target=\"_blank\">San Francisco station\u003c/a> after the midnight fireworks show at the Embarcadero. Trains will operate on a \u003ca href=\"http://www.caltrain.com/schedules/weekend-timetable.html\" target=\"_blank\">Sunday/holiday schedule\u003c/a> on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Lyft and Uber: \u003c/strong>Lyft prices are capped at 200 percent this New Year's Eve, one of its \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Uber-Lyft-vs-taxis-in-New-Year-s-Eve-fare-war-5984146.php\" target=\"_blank\">most competitive\u003c/a> business days of the year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uber is also taking part in \u003ca href=\"https://help.uber.com/h/6c8065cf-5535-4a8b-9940-d292ffdce119\" target=\"_blank\">surge pricing\u003c/a>. Uber \u003ca href=\"https://newsroom.uber.com/new-years-guide/\" target=\"_blank\">suggests \u003c/a>using the service early or catching a ride after midnight to avoid high fares.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On New Year's Eve last year, some Uber rides cost as much as $100. Lyft set a \"prime-time limit\" at a \u003ca href=\"http://www.ibtimes.com/uber-lyft-new-years-eve-2015-surge-pricing-cost-riders-1771582\" target=\"_blank\">controversial\u003c/a> 400 percent. You can decide if 200 percent is a steal.\u003ca name=\"sf\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>San Francisco\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Muni:\u003c/strong> You can hop on any Muni bus for free starting at 8 p.m. on Thursday through 5 a.m. on Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There will also be extended service until 4 a.m. on Muni Metro lines between West Portal and Embarcadero stations. Service will run until 2:15 a.m. to Fourth and King streets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sfmta.com/calendar/alerts/ride-muni-free-extra-service-new-years-eve\" target=\"_blank\">Extra Owl route \u003c/a>service will be offered from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clipper cards, Muni Mobile passes and Metro fares will not be necessary on Muni buses during free service hours. SFMTA asks that passengers do not tag their Clipper cards during free service hours. If tagged, cards will be charged. Muni Metro fare gates will be set to allow free access.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cab:\u003c/strong> Luxor Cabs in partnership with Berg Injury Lawyers' \u003ca href=\"http://www.berginjurylawyers.com/about-us/community/safe-and-sober/\" target=\"_blank\">Safe and Sober Free Cab Ride Home Program\u003c/a> is offering free cab rides home from 10 p.m. on Thursday through 4 a.m. Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Riders must be picked up at a restaurant, hotel or bar and dropped off to a residency to qualify for a free ride. Free rides do not count if the cab is hailed from the street. Each ride is limited to $35.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For a free cab, you can arrange a ride with Luxor Cab by calling \u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">(415) 282-4141. Patrons can tell the driver to send the taxi receipt to \u003ca href=\"http://www.berginjurylawyers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/BIL_PressRelease_NYE-2015.pdf\" target=\"_blank\">Berg Injury Lawyers. \u003c/a>Berg Injury encourages riders to tip their taxi drivers.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"eb\">\u003c/a> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Alameda-Contra Consta County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>AC Transit: \u003c/strong>Free rides will be offered on all AC Transit lines from 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We want people to be safe and we care about our community,\" said Michele Joseph, director of marketing and communications at AC Transit. \"We care about our customers. And it's really important for everybody to realize the implication of driving while intoxicated.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.actransit.org/2015/12/23/ac-transit-offers-free-rides-on-new-year%E2%80%99s-eve/\" target=\"_blank\">All Nighter service\u003c/a> will be available to those traveling after midnight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_10812200\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-10812200 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-400x176.png\" alt=\"Oakland’s Free B Shuttle bus will be running on New Year’s Eve every 10-15 minutes from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.\" width=\"400\" height=\"176\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-400x176.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-800x352.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map-768x338.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/10/2015/12/existing-map.png 856w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Oakland’s Free B Shuttle bus will be running on New Year’s Eve every 10-15 minutes from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. \u003ccite>(City of Oakland's Economic & Workforce Development Department)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Broadway Shuttle:\u003c/strong> The green\u003ca href=\"http://www.meetdowntownoak.com/shuttle.php\"> bus\u003c/a> taking passengers along Broadway from Jack London Square to 27th Street in Oakland will offer free rides from 7 a.m. on Thursday to 1 a.m. Friday every 10 to 15 minutes.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"sm\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>San Mateo County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SamTrans:\u003c/strong> Free rides on\u003ca href=\"http://www.samtrans.com/about/MediaRelations/news/SamTrans_to_Offer_Free_Service_on_New_Year_s_Eve__Sunday_Schedule_on_New_Year_s_Day_4274.html\"> SamTrans\u003c/a> buses begin at 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. Buses will operate on a Sunday schedule on New Year's Day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Redi-Wheels:\u003c/strong> The district's paratransit service will offer free rides starting at 8 p.m. Thursday.\u003cbr>\n\u003ca name=\"sc\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Santa Clara County\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>VTA:\u003c/strong> Santa Clara County's Valley Transportation Authority is offering free rides from 8 p.m. Thursday until 5 a.m. Friday. \u003ca href=\"http://www.vta.org/News-and-Media/Connect-with-VTA/Ride-VTA-on-Us-This-New-Years-Eve#.VoGGrPmANHx\">Extended service\u003c/a> will be offered for the Mountain View-Winchester and Alum Rock-Santa Teresa light-rail lines.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"soldout": {
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"title": "SOLD OUT: Rethinking Housing in America",
"tagline": "A new future for housing",
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