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"content": "\u003cp>Stories of first-generation Americans tend to stress the same struggles. How do you fit in with your peers when your parents aren't assimilating? How do you balance your instinct to rebel against your parents with your awareness of what they sacrificed to get here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A new TV series called \u003cem>Ramy\u003c/em> addresses many of those issues. Its namesake character is an Egyptian-American millennial in his 20s grappling with being a practicing Muslim. He's also struggling to blend his religious beliefs with 21st century life in the U.S: praying, dating, working, drinking, relating to your parents. It's complicated.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The show is out on Hulu, and it's co-written and co-created by Ramy Youssef, an actor and stand-up comedian. He based the main character on his own experiences growing up in suburban New Jersey as a Muslim who considers himself religious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I would say it's all very emotionally true,\" Youssef says. \"I tried to imagine a character that didn't have a creative outlet. In real life, I have these creative outlets, and I have really clear conversations with my parents. But this is a little bit removed from that, and just a little bit more at the base level of emotion. So he's a little more stunted, and I wanted to write from that place.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Ek09B9YaY\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On how first-generation Americans who are millennials may have it different from previous first-generation experiences\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I think that we face just some different economic things. I mean, I think a lot of the pressure that happens in this show is about money. I mean, we see my character kind of forced into this relationship with his uncle, this family member that is pretty intolerable. But it's clear that the only reason he hangs around is because he has money, and he has this influence over the family. And so you see somebody who is trying to do good and be good and figure out what that means to him morally. But he's also pressed to kind of accelerate his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the cringeworthy uncle Naseem character\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the record, he's also racist and homophobic and Islamophobic. So he is all of those things. And absolutely, I think that the show isn't going to sit for everyone with the approach that we took. And that's okay. There's a lot of—there's, I think, 500 shows on TV this year. So we wanted to take this approach not to be sensational, not to offend for the sake of offending—that's not even really what we're setting out to do. And I think that many people who have watched this show and they see that character, along with seeing the other characters, say, \"I know that guy.\" You know, \"I know a Ramy,\" or \"I know an uncle Naseem,\" or \"I have an uncle Naseem, and instead of the racist anti-Semitic thing he says, he actually says stuff about Muslims, or he actually says stuff about black people, or he actually says stuff, you know, 'insert group'—and we don't know what to do with him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so what we were really looking to do here is to not hide any of these characters, but actually set them up and show them and begin their stories so that we can trace out their arc over multiple seasons. That is very much my intention with the first season of my show, is to plant the seeds of a lot of things that can grow. So there isn't this resolution or instant karma. I think that there's a little bit of an uneasy feeling, and I think that's okay. I think that that's what's really nice about TV, is that things can play out a little bit slower.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On being a religious person, \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9R6vtcD09I\">\u003cstrong>as he joked on \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Late Show with Stephen Colbert\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>I grew up in a town where I watched my gay friends struggle to come out to the religious community. And now I live in LA, where I'm a religious person struggling to come out to the gay community.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>I think it's something that I found early on in doing stand-up—that I could just feel a little bit of a tension in the room when I started talking about it in an honest way. 'Cause I think church is kind of a punch line, you know? Like, that sounds like the end of the joke, right? \"And then I took her to church!\" And I think religion has earned being made fun of. I think that religious culture and the industry of religion pretty much deserves most of the heat that it gets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I think that there's a human side to why the faiths have continued, and I think that there's some really valuable things, and is my personal belief. And so presenting a character that isn't trying to erase this part of his life, isn't trying to erase his parents' culture and the tradition that he comes from, was what we really tried to do with this show. And I think ... most of the [first-generation] stories that we've seen is somebody fighting to have the ability to just be not like their family, or like everyone that's in front of them. There's almost this subtext of, like, \"Hey, I want to be white too, and I have the right to do that, mom.\" And that that feels like every narrative that's been jammed down my throat as a viewer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so what I wanted to show was something that felt more of a internal look at the character being introspective—who is actually struggling to keep his faith in his life, while also take some of the opportunities that are presented to him in the place that he grew up in. 'Cause that's closer to my life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111245\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-111245\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"'Ramy' \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Ramy' \u003ccite>(Hulu)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On dedicating episodes to his on-screen sister and mother\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was something that I fought for a bunch when we were presenting it to the network. But it was really important because I felt like it was the only way you could understand the world. And I think that when we talk about representation, and showing a family that hasn't been seen before, representation isn't three lines in a scene. Representation is actually when the character doesn't have lines, but the camera is lingering on them in their thoughts after something happened, and then we get to see them walk to their car. You really need to follow a character in order to understand what they're going through.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I didn't want to just play this game where I was checking boxes by giving my sister and my mom a line here or there. I wanted to actually sit with them and experience what they were going through, and I want that to be the tone of this show. So we might not have every type of character or every type of experience—yet. But that's because we want to give it the right treatment and we want to actually represent them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On what he might want to show people about Muslims with the show\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just want people to see Muslims as human. That's it. I don't really think that there's much more you could get out of this series, because it's so limited. We're talking about one type of family. To say that all Muslims are like this—to even say that Arab Muslims in North Jersey are like this—would be ridiculous. This is my point of view, and that's why I call the show \u003cem>Ramy\u003c/em>. I made the show that I would want to see. So it's only going to hit on certain things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just want to complicate the conversation. I want you, instead of thinking of terrorism when you think about a mosque, maybe you can think about the characters in this show. I would love to re-frame certain words in certain settings. 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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I think that we face just some different economic things. I mean, I think a lot of the pressure that happens in this show is about money. I mean, we see my character kind of forced into this relationship with his uncle, this family member that is pretty intolerable. But it's clear that the only reason he hangs around is because he has money, and he has this influence over the family. And so you see somebody who is trying to do good and be good and figure out what that means to him morally. But he's also pressed to kind of accelerate his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the cringeworthy uncle Naseem character\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For the record, he's also racist and homophobic and Islamophobic. So he is all of those things. And absolutely, I think that the show isn't going to sit for everyone with the approach that we took. And that's okay. There's a lot of—there's, I think, 500 shows on TV this year. So we wanted to take this approach not to be sensational, not to offend for the sake of offending—that's not even really what we're setting out to do. And I think that many people who have watched this show and they see that character, along with seeing the other characters, say, \"I know that guy.\" You know, \"I know a Ramy,\" or \"I know an uncle Naseem,\" or \"I have an uncle Naseem, and instead of the racist anti-Semitic thing he says, he actually says stuff about Muslims, or he actually says stuff about black people, or he actually says stuff, you know, 'insert group'—and we don't know what to do with him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so what we were really looking to do here is to not hide any of these characters, but actually set them up and show them and begin their stories so that we can trace out their arc over multiple seasons. That is very much my intention with the first season of my show, is to plant the seeds of a lot of things that can grow. So there isn't this resolution or instant karma. I think that there's a little bit of an uneasy feeling, and I think that's okay. I think that that's what's really nice about TV, is that things can play out a little bit slower.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On being a religious person, \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9R6vtcD09I\">\u003cstrong>as he joked on \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Late Show with Stephen Colbert\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>I grew up in a town where I watched my gay friends struggle to come out to the religious community. And now I live in LA, where I'm a religious person struggling to come out to the gay community.\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>I think it's something that I found early on in doing stand-up—that I could just feel a little bit of a tension in the room when I started talking about it in an honest way. 'Cause I think church is kind of a punch line, you know? Like, that sounds like the end of the joke, right? \"And then I took her to church!\" And I think religion has earned being made fun of. I think that religious culture and the industry of religion pretty much deserves most of the heat that it gets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I think that there's a human side to why the faiths have continued, and I think that there's some really valuable things, and is my personal belief. And so presenting a character that isn't trying to erase this part of his life, isn't trying to erase his parents' culture and the tradition that he comes from, was what we really tried to do with this show. And I think ... most of the [first-generation] stories that we've seen is somebody fighting to have the ability to just be not like their family, or like everyone that's in front of them. There's almost this subtext of, like, \"Hey, I want to be white too, and I have the right to do that, mom.\" And that that feels like every narrative that's been jammed down my throat as a viewer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so what I wanted to show was something that felt more of a internal look at the character being introspective—who is actually struggling to keep his faith in his life, while also take some of the opportunities that are presented to him in the place that he grew up in. 'Cause that's closer to my life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111245\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-111245\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"'Ramy' \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/02153a75-bc51-4e79-9a22-d2d4d0a23152.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">'Ramy' \u003ccite>(Hulu)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On dedicating episodes to his on-screen sister and mother\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was something that I fought for a bunch when we were presenting it to the network. But it was really important because I felt like it was the only way you could understand the world. And I think that when we talk about representation, and showing a family that hasn't been seen before, representation isn't three lines in a scene. Representation is actually when the character doesn't have lines, but the camera is lingering on them in their thoughts after something happened, and then we get to see them walk to their car. You really need to follow a character in order to understand what they're going through.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I didn't want to just play this game where I was checking boxes by giving my sister and my mom a line here or there. I wanted to actually sit with them and experience what they were going through, and I want that to be the tone of this show. So we might not have every type of character or every type of experience—yet. But that's because we want to give it the right treatment and we want to actually represent them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On what he might want to show people about Muslims with the show\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just want people to see Muslims as human. That's it. I don't really think that there's much more you could get out of this series, because it's so limited. We're talking about one type of family. To say that all Muslims are like this—to even say that Arab Muslims in North Jersey are like this—would be ridiculous. This is my point of view, and that's why I call the show \u003cem>Ramy\u003c/em>. I made the show that I would want to see. So it's only going to hit on certain things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just want to complicate the conversation. I want you, instead of thinking of terrorism when you think about a mosque, maybe you can think about the characters in this show. I would love to re-frame certain words in certain settings. But outside of that, even my re-frame is not worthy of where your mind should land. It's just a complication of the conversation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/715290814/715774859\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Eliza Dennis and Natalie Friedman Winston produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Patrick Jarenwattananon adapted it for the Web.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Ramy%27+Is+About+One+Millennial+American+Muslim+%E2%80%94+And+Everyone%27s+Racist+Uncles&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>HBO's new period drama, \u003cem>Gentleman Jack\u003c/em>, is set in the 1830s and tells the extraordinary story of Anne Lister: landowner, businesswoman, mountaineer, and sometimes called \"the first modern lesbian.\" Lister came from a wealthy family in Halifax, England, and began recording her love affairs with women in coded entries in her diary. Eventually she would live openly with her neighbor Ann Walker as a couple. Those explicit diaries remained a secret until the 1980s—and in 2011 they were named by UNESCO as a pivotal document in British history. The HBO adaptation looks at Lister's relationship Ann Walker and her defiant embrace of her sexual orientation. Suranne Jones stars as Anne Lister—she says it's become possible to tell Lister's story now, because we finally have the language to discuss gender and sexuality more openly. \"So I just feel like this is the right time to tell her story in the full-bodied way that it needs to be told.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gce44fIgV3g\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On preparing to play Anne's complexities\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes when you get a part, you're almost cooked, you're ready to go ... but with this, both me and [writer and director Sally Wainwright] felt like I was a work in progress, and I was going to have to put a lot of work in ... I was able to visit Halifax library and actually take out one of Anne Lister's original diaries and read that for myself, which was a real emotional experience, because I'm touching the paper which she had her hands all over, and Sally was able to read the code to me, over my shoulder, which was again extraordinary ... the code itself, parts of the diary still hadn't been decoded, so it was being decoded especially for us as we filmed, which was really exciting. We'd get an email, and it was kind of like live, as we were filming scenes in the end, where we were getting pieces of information that had never been seen before ... we got to film in Shibden Hall, which was her actual house, so the whole experience was magical; I felt like she was with us every step of the way. But the experience of that really allowed her to get into my bones every single day on set.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On Anne's physicality\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of the work that Sally's done over the eight episodes are direct from the diaries. A lot of the words that I speak, Sally has used, not verbatim but she's really worked them into the way she writes her dialogue. And there's pieces of information that we have—she walked fast, and she walked upright. She was mistaken for her masculinity. She had a low voice, she looked like an oddity. She was very striking. She always wore black, in mourning for an ex-girlfriend that she lost to a man, to a marriage. So by the time we meet her, she's been wearing black for 16 years. And she was fiercely intelligent, so we wanted to tell the story of her intelligence through her physicality as well, which is kind of the big hand gestures and the tapping; she checks out of scenes before other people do, because she's already on to the next thing ... and she hard to be larger than life, she had to be a presence that anyone who knows the diaries can feel it when they read it off the page, and I really wanted to encapsulate that on screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On Anne's self-certainty\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sally described her to me as having a very healthy opinion of herself, a very healthy opinion of life, excited by life, wanted to live life to the full. And she was true to her nature. She never wavered from wanting to, in her words again, \"love, and only love the fairer sex.\" She felt like it was her god-given nature to do that. She was authentic in that way, and she had no blueprint, there were no communities. Lesbian wasn't a word then. But she just was striking in the way that she knew exactly who she wanted to be, and pushed on and lived in that way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On what we should take from her story today\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think whether you're part of the LGBTQIA community or not, Anne Lister is trail-blazing, she's life-affirming, she's uplifting, she's courageous. And she believes that everyone has a voice and deserves to be themselves and to speak. And I think in this climate, we need more stories like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/715223887/715616312\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited for radio by Hiba Ahmad and Lynn Kim, and adapted for the Web by Petra Mayer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Gentleman+Jack%27+Swaggers+Off+The+Page+And+Onto+The+Screen&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of the work that Sally's done over the eight episodes are direct from the diaries. A lot of the words that I speak, Sally has used, not verbatim but she's really worked them into the way she writes her dialogue. And there's pieces of information that we have—she walked fast, and she walked upright. She was mistaken for her masculinity. She had a low voice, she looked like an oddity. She was very striking. She always wore black, in mourning for an ex-girlfriend that she lost to a man, to a marriage. So by the time we meet her, she's been wearing black for 16 years. And she was fiercely intelligent, so we wanted to tell the story of her intelligence through her physicality as well, which is kind of the big hand gestures and the tapping; she checks out of scenes before other people do, because she's already on to the next thing ... and she hard to be larger than life, she had to be a presence that anyone who knows the diaries can feel it when they read it off the page, and I really wanted to encapsulate that on screen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On Anne's self-certainty\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sally described her to me as having a very healthy opinion of herself, a very healthy opinion of life, excited by life, wanted to live life to the full. And she was true to her nature. She never wavered from wanting to, in her words again, \"love, and only love the fairer sex.\" She felt like it was her god-given nature to do that. She was authentic in that way, and she had no blueprint, there were no communities. Lesbian wasn't a word then. But she just was striking in the way that she knew exactly who she wanted to be, and pushed on and lived in that way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On what we should take from her story today\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think whether you're part of the LGBTQIA community or not, Anne Lister is trail-blazing, she's life-affirming, she's uplifting, she's courageous. And she believes that everyone has a voice and deserves to be themselves and to speak. And I think in this climate, we need more stories like that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/715223887/715616312\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story was edited for radio by Hiba Ahmad and Lynn Kim, and adapted for the Web by Petra Mayer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Gentleman+Jack%27+Swaggers+Off+The+Page+And+Onto+The+Screen&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Episode 2 Recap: Let's Get It On",
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"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/111008/game-of-thrones-season-8-episode-1-premiere-recap\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, all the men (except Lord Varys, Grey Worm and the Unsullied) froze their balls off at Winterfell as they prepared for the zombie apocalypse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111016\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/frozen-balls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"267\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of balls, Jon Snow had some pretty big ones for making out with Rhaegal and Drogon's mommy right in front of their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111026\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-kiss-dragon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while we're on the topic of Rhaegal and Drogon, I am doubling down on my vow to put the show's writers on my Arya revenge list if they harm even one of their scales.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111030\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/leave-drogon-alone-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Bran weirded everyone out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111018\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-weird.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111022\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/weird-out-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most especially Jamie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111029\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-jamie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, sh*t! Is that the kid I threw out the window in episode 1 of this series?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/06/post-33433-surprise-bitch-gif-Madison-Mon-0Xnt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who will Bran creep out next? Will Rhaegal and Drogon scream \"You're not my real dad!!!!\" at Jon in Dragonese? Will Jon scream \"You're my real aunt!!!!\" at Daenerys in English? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We kick things off with the roast of Jamie Lannister. Everyone takes turns letting him know what a prick he used to be. The group could have simply flipped a coin to decide whether to gut him / poison him / let a dire wolf munch on his head, but this way is more fun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Annoyed that Jamie has the audacity to show up after Cersei went back on her promise to send help, Daenerys lays into him: \"I don't see an army. I see one man with one hand.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, Jamie is probably thinking, \u003cem>Again with the mono hand jokes? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/hand-middle-finger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But on the outside, he takes the joke in stride because being turned into a shish kebab for Rhaegal and Drogon doesn't go well with his plan to kind of, sort of flirt with Brienne until one or both of them die this season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111177\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/colbert-hand-high-five.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Jamie tries to defend his past prickish ways, Bran blurts out, \"The things we do for love.\" No one knows those are the exact words Jamie said right before pushing Bran out of a window back in the first season, so everyone just shrugs and feels awkward. (For anyone who was taking bets on how long it would take Bran to do something all-knowingly creepy, the winning guess is 3 minutes into the episode. Congrats!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when it seems as though Jamie is about to meet his dearly departed hand in the afterlife, Brienne steps forward to vouch for him and manages to convince Sansa and company to spare his life. Oh, just make out already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Down in the dragon glass factory, Arya undresses Gendry with her eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111179\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/arya-dtf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is it hot in here or are these two totally going to bone? I'm hoping the correct answer is both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/fans-self.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"271\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Outside by the bleeding tree, Winterfell's premier spot for heart-to-hearts, Jamie and Bran finally talk out their issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, my bad about throwing you out that window. It was Season 1! Things were crazier back then.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>All is fair in love, war and twincest, I guess.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Thanks for not snitching. Will you tell them after World War Z?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>There's going to be an after?\u003c/em> *stares creepily*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Jamie finds Brienne on the training grounds and tells her that, although he's not a great fighter anymore, he wants to serve under her. That's not the only thing he's interested in doing under her, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"180\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Daenerys decides to buck tradition and have a heart-to-heart with Sansa indoors instead of at the bleeding tree. The tension between them is still \u003cem>Real Housewives of Westeros\u003c/em>-level thick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I can't believe Tyrion fell for Cersei's trick.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I can't believe you fell for Cersei's trick.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is what it looks like when you're trying to swallow down the overwhelming urge to kill your boyfriend's sister.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111180\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/daenarys-got.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daenerys and Sansa manage to find something they agree on: families are complicated. Just like the Facebook relationship status Dany will post after Jon tells her she's his aunt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111181\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"612\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320-160x84.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dany tries to find some more common ground with Sansa:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Women have to support other women! Hillary 2020, am I right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth Warren 2020, actually. P.S. You'll have to wring the North out of my cold, dead, potentially White Walker hands after this is all over. Good talk!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the main gate, back from surviving that little crucified zombie boy's attack last week, Tormund has one thing on his mind: \"The big woman still here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111182\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/squealing-aww.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love that Brienne has hos in different area codes. Such swag!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, during a strategy session, everyone agrees that they probably won't stand a chance against the Night King. Even more of a reason for Tormund to shoot his shot. \"We're all going to die,\" he tells the room (but mostly Brienne), \"but at least we die together!\u003cspan class=\"s1\">😉\u003c/span>\" Morbid but hot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the meeting is over, everyone turns in for the night. Dany gives Jon bedroom eyes, but he pulls one of these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry not sorry, auntie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The next morning, Missandei greets two little girls, only for them to be racist AF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111183\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/racist-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grey Worm shows up to commiserate and they make a pact to move somewhere pro-melanin after this is all over. And I make a pact to cackle really loudly if the Night King snatches those two little brats. When you do racism, the racism comes back to bite!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, ring the alarm! Ghost, Jon's dire wolf, is back!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111191\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1020x661.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"415\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1020x661.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-160x104.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-800x518.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-768x498.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1200x778.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf.jpg 1432w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Welcome home, buddy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unrelated, but related side-note: I cannot wait for Arya's dire wolf, Nymeria, to save the day when we least expect it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Inside, Tormund, Brienne, Jamie, Tyrion and others sit by a fireplace, get tanked on wine and ponder their imminent demises. Tormund makes heart eyes at Brienne while drinking out of a very large, very phallic horn. Not one for subtlety, Tormund takes it a step further and says, \"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-22895\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/04/PrinceEyebrows.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"296\" height=\"216\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out his nickname has nothing to do with Lil Tormund and everything to do with this time he killed a giant at the age of 10, slept with the giant's wife and then proceeded to suckle at her teet for three months. My feelings on this can be best expressed via Jamie and Tyrion's WTF faces:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111184\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/wtf-got.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The theme of being cooped up and horny continues downstairs, where Arya interrogates Gendry about his sexual history. After getting Gendry to cough up his number of partners (three), Arya is like, \u003cem>Cool. Wanna boogie down with a fourth? Because there's no way I'm going to die a virgin.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They proceed to bone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back upstairs, Tormund continues to give me reasons to love him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Brienne:\u003c/strong> \"Women can’t be knights.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"Why not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Brienne:\u003c/strong> \"Tradition.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"F*ck tradition!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">We stan a feminist wildling! And he's not done with his charm offensive either!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"I’m no king, but if I were, I’d knight you ten times over.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">I know I already used this gif earlier for Brienne and Jamie, but, considering they all might be dead soon, I want Brienne to make out with all the boys (and girls?) she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not to be outdone, Jamie announces that it doesn't take a king to knight someone; a knight can do it too. Jamie proceeds to knight Brienne as she quietly cries. Tormund wildly applauds nearby. If there ever was a compelling argument for a threesome, this is it! I haven't been this invested in a love triangle since Felicity, Ben and Noel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-768x512.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The following day, Jorah approaches Lady Mormont and tries to adultsplain why she should go down in the crypt and hide with the other children before the battle begins. Lady Mormont responds by essentially telling him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111185\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/who-the-fuck-do-you-think-i-is-beyonce-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, down in the crypt, Dany finds Jon staring at a statue of Lyanna Stark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, boo! What are you up to?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Just looking at a statue of my mom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But that would make us...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yup.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Which would make you the rightful...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yup again.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111186\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/shocked-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"180\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, the Night King and his zombie friends roll up on Winterfell, ready to kill at least 90% of our faves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Game Of Thrones\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/les-miserables\">\u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>\u003c/a>)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Previous recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/111008/game-of-thrones-season-8-episode-1-premiere-recap\">'Game of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "What do you do when an army of zombies is on its way to kill you? Get drunk and have sex!",
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"title": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Episode 2 Recap: Let's Get It On | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/111008/game-of-thrones-season-8-episode-1-premiere-recap\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, all the men (except Lord Varys, Grey Worm and the Unsullied) froze their balls off at Winterfell as they prepared for the zombie apocalypse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111016\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/frozen-balls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"267\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of balls, Jon Snow had some pretty big ones for making out with Rhaegal and Drogon's mommy right in front of their faces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111026\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-kiss-dragon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while we're on the topic of Rhaegal and Drogon, I am doubling down on my vow to put the show's writers on my Arya revenge list if they harm even one of their scales.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111030\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/leave-drogon-alone-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Bran weirded everyone out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111018\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-weird.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111022\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/weird-out-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Most especially Jamie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111029\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-jamie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, sh*t! Is that the kid I threw out the window in episode 1 of this series?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/06/post-33433-surprise-bitch-gif-Madison-Mon-0Xnt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who will Bran creep out next? Will Rhaegal and Drogon scream \"You're not my real dad!!!!\" at Jon in Dragonese? Will Jon scream \"You're my real aunt!!!!\" at Daenerys in English? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We kick things off with the roast of Jamie Lannister. Everyone takes turns letting him know what a prick he used to be. The group could have simply flipped a coin to decide whether to gut him / poison him / let a dire wolf munch on his head, but this way is more fun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Annoyed that Jamie has the audacity to show up after Cersei went back on her promise to send help, Daenerys lays into him: \"I don't see an army. I see one man with one hand.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, Jamie is probably thinking, \u003cem>Again with the mono hand jokes? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/hand-middle-finger.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But on the outside, he takes the joke in stride because being turned into a shish kebab for Rhaegal and Drogon doesn't go well with his plan to kind of, sort of flirt with Brienne until one or both of them die this season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111177\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/colbert-hand-high-five.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Jamie tries to defend his past prickish ways, Bran blurts out, \"The things we do for love.\" No one knows those are the exact words Jamie said right before pushing Bran out of a window back in the first season, so everyone just shrugs and feels awkward. (For anyone who was taking bets on how long it would take Bran to do something all-knowingly creepy, the winning guess is 3 minutes into the episode. Congrats!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when it seems as though Jamie is about to meet his dearly departed hand in the afterlife, Brienne steps forward to vouch for him and manages to convince Sansa and company to spare his life. Oh, just make out already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Down in the dragon glass factory, Arya undresses Gendry with her eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111179\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/arya-dtf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is it hot in here or are these two totally going to bone? I'm hoping the correct answer is both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/fans-self.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"271\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Outside by the bleeding tree, Winterfell's premier spot for heart-to-hearts, Jamie and Bran finally talk out their issues.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, my bad about throwing you out that window. It was Season 1! Things were crazier back then.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>All is fair in love, war and twincest, I guess.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie: \u003c/strong>\u003cem>Thanks for not snitching. Will you tell them after World War Z?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>There's going to be an after?\u003c/em> *stares creepily*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Jamie finds Brienne on the training grounds and tells her that, although he's not a great fighter anymore, he wants to serve under her. That's not the only thing he's interested in doing under her, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/gilly-raise-eyebrows-wiig-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"180\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Daenerys decides to buck tradition and have a heart-to-heart with Sansa indoors instead of at the bleeding tree. The tension between them is still \u003cem>Real Housewives of Westeros\u003c/em>-level thick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I can't believe Tyrion fell for Cersei's trick.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>I can't believe you fell for Cersei's trick.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is what it looks like when you're trying to swallow down the overwhelming urge to kill your boyfriend's sister.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111180\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/daenarys-got.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daenerys and Sansa manage to find something they agree on: families are complicated. Just like the Facebook relationship status Dany will post after Jon tells her she's his aunt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111181\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"612\" height=\"320\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/fb-official-612x320-160x84.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 612px) 100vw, 612px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dany tries to find some more common ground with Sansa:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Women have to support other women! Hillary 2020, am I right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth Warren 2020, actually. P.S. You'll have to wring the North out of my cold, dead, potentially White Walker hands after this is all over. Good talk!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the main gate, back from surviving that little crucified zombie boy's attack last week, Tormund has one thing on his mind: \"The big woman still here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111182\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/squealing-aww.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love that Brienne has hos in different area codes. Such swag!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, during a strategy session, everyone agrees that they probably won't stand a chance against the Night King. Even more of a reason for Tormund to shoot his shot. \"We're all going to die,\" he tells the room (but mostly Brienne), \"but at least we die together!\u003cspan class=\"s1\">😉\u003c/span>\" Morbid but hot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the meeting is over, everyone turns in for the night. Dany gives Jon bedroom eyes, but he pulls one of these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry not sorry, auntie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The next morning, Missandei greets two little girls, only for them to be racist AF.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111183\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/racist-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Grey Worm shows up to commiserate and they make a pact to move somewhere pro-melanin after this is all over. And I make a pact to cackle really loudly if the Night King snatches those two little brats. When you do racism, the racism comes back to bite!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, ring the alarm! Ghost, Jon's dire wolf, is back!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111191\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1020x661.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"415\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1020x661.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-160x104.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-800x518.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-768x498.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf-1200x778.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/dire-wolf.jpg 1432w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Welcome home, buddy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unrelated, but related side-note: I cannot wait for Arya's dire wolf, Nymeria, to save the day when we least expect it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">Inside, Tormund, Brienne, Jamie, Tyrion and others sit by a fireplace, get tanked on wine and ponder their imminent demises. Tormund makes heart eyes at Brienne while drinking out of a very large, very phallic horn. Not one for subtlety, Tormund takes it a step further and says, \"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-22895\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/04/PrinceEyebrows.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"296\" height=\"216\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out his nickname has nothing to do with Lil Tormund and everything to do with this time he killed a giant at the age of 10, slept with the giant's wife and then proceeded to suckle at her teet for three months. My feelings on this can be best expressed via Jamie and Tyrion's WTF faces:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111184\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/wtf-got.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The theme of being cooped up and horny continues downstairs, where Arya interrogates Gendry about his sexual history. After getting Gendry to cough up his number of partners (three), Arya is like, \u003cem>Cool. Wanna boogie down with a fourth? Because there's no way I'm going to die a virgin.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They proceed to bone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back upstairs, Tormund continues to give me reasons to love him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Brienne:\u003c/strong> \"Women can’t be knights.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"Why not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Brienne:\u003c/strong> \"Tradition.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"F*ck tradition!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">We stan a feminist wildling! And he's not done with his charm offensive either!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"I’m no king, but if I were, I’d knight you ten times over.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">I know I already used this gif earlier for Brienne and Jamie, but, considering they all might be dead soon, I want Brienne to make out with all the boys (and girls?) she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/just-kiss-already.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not to be outdone, Jamie announces that it doesn't take a king to knight someone; a knight can do it too. Jamie proceeds to knight Brienne as she quietly cries. Tormund wildly applauds nearby. If there ever was a compelling argument for a threesome, this is it! I haven't been this invested in a love triangle since Felicity, Ben and Noel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-111246\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1020x680.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1020x680.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-160x107.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-768x512.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/brienne-meme-game-of-thrones-tormund-jamie.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"p1\">The following day, Jorah approaches Lady Mormont and tries to adultsplain why she should go down in the crypt and hide with the other children before the battle begins. Lady Mormont responds by essentially telling him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111185\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/who-the-fuck-do-you-think-i-is-beyonce-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, down in the crypt, Dany finds Jon staring at a statue of Lyanna Stark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, boo! What are you up to?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Just looking at a statue of my mom.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But that would make us...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yup.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Which would make you the rightful...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yup again.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dany:\u003c/strong>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111186\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/shocked-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"180\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, the Night King and his zombie friends roll up on Winterfell, ready to kill at least 90% of our faves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Game Of Thrones\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/les-miserables\">\u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>\u003c/a>)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Previous recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/111008/game-of-thrones-season-8-episode-1-premiere-recap\">'Game of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Our Planet' Nature Documentary Addresses The 800-Pound Gorilla—Human Impact",
"title": "'Our Planet' Nature Documentary Addresses The 800-Pound Gorilla—Human Impact",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em> is the kind of nature show where every image could be a screen saver: sweeping, dramatic landscapes full of colorful animals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But among the high-definition scenes of lions on the hunt, there are some images you don't often see in these kinds of shows. Tropical reefs bleach into white bone-scapes; glaciers crumble into Arctic seas. In one particularly noteworthy sequence, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/04/why-are-walruses-walking-off-cliffs/586510/\">confused walruses plummet off a cliff\u003c/a> to their deaths—a phenomenon that the show links to climate change and the decline of the walrus' preferred habitat of sea ice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Series producer Alastair Fothergill was responsible for some of the most high-profile nature documentaries of the last decade: \u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Blue Planet\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Frozen Planet\u003c/em>. In an interview, he says that it has previously been difficult to include environmental messaging in prime-time, mass-audience programming—and even so, that \u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em> is careful to show where earth is still very healthy, or has bounced back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But while other nature programs might make passing reference to the impact of humans, that narrative is at the center of \u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We decided way back, actually in 2012, that the time had come to try and do a series which would be as entertaining and as accessible as series like \u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>—but for the first time deal in depth with the challenges that our planet faces,\" Fothergill says. \"There's no doubt that it is seriously under threat. And we felt that it was a story that urgently needed telling now.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The eight-part series, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/tags/221779898/sir-david-attenborough\">narrated by David Attenborough\u003c/a>, is now streaming on Netflix.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aETNYyrqNYE\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On planning a project of this scale and rarity\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We spent a whole year planning: talking to scientists, talking to conservationists, deciding on our stories. And then we filmed over three years, and we spent a record 3,500 days in the field. To give you an idea, that means every final minute of the show you watch, we spent 10 days in the field. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But we were very specific. Although the animals don't read the script, we have a very, very organized and planned script and we knew exactly the narrative that we wanted to tell. ... What is very important to us is that each individual episode tell a bigger story about each individual habitat. Because what's very interesting is the challenges to the habitats, the threats to the habitats and the solutions to those habitats differ, depending on whether it's the open ocean, the tropical forest or the coniferous forest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On capturing the Siberian tiger in the wild\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think the Siberian tiger is a wonderful achievement. It's the first intimate images of these amazing cats in the wild. And to give you a sense of how difficult it was, over two winters, three cameramen were literally locked away inside wooden hides. They didn't come out for six weeks. Everything you need to do to survive, they did inside the small box. And they worked for two winters. They got one single shot of a wild Siberian tiger. At the same time, we had in about 40 motion-control cameras—remote cameras that are set off by the moving animal. And again, the first winter we got nothing really. We got lynx going past, other animals of the forest. But over that period we began to see the movements of the tigers, how they were moving in that area. And the second season we got 36 precious, precious images. For me, it's a wonderfully emblematic sequence of a wonderfully rare, wild, iconic species of the boreal forest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111079\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-111079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"A Siberian tiger is caught on camera in the boreal forests of Russia's Pacific Coast.\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-768x405.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1020x537.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1200x632.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1920x1012.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A Siberian tiger is caught on camera in the boreal forests of Russia's Pacific Coast. \u003ccite>(Kieran O'Donovan/Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the images the show missed\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, failure is my job, and we failed a lot. Often to get the sequence, we'd go one season—as I described the Siberian tiger—back and back and back. And yes, there are things that we still have to do and still have to film—which is great, because I've still got the life in me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the forest sequence in Madagascar\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The patch of forest where we were filming was destroyed by the end of our filming period, yes. It was desperately, desperately sad. I mean, you know, Madagascar is a poor country. There's a lot of pressure; people need land. But the traditional forest—there's only 3 percent left. It's got so many precious, precious animals there. We really need to help those people to preserve the lemurs and all the wonderful forests that they live in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the forest sequence in Chernobyl\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thirty-three years ago, of course, famously the [nuclear] reactor at Chernobyl exploded. It was probably the greatest environmental disaster in living memory. And 30 years later, we ... go back and amazingly, the forest, the resilient forest, has overtaken Chernobyl. It's a green oasis now. And because people can't go there for very long because of the radiation—it's dangerous for us to stay there for a long period—it's been left alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111085\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 755px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-111085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM.png\" alt=\"At a fairground within Ukraine's Chernobyl exclusion zone, a birch forest has emerged decades after a nuclear reactor accident forced the abandonment of the area.\" width=\"755\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM.png 755w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM-160x85.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 755px) 100vw, 755px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">At a fairground within Ukraine's Chernobyl exclusion zone, a birch forest has emerged decades after a nuclear reactor accident forced the abandonment of the area. \u003ccite>(Jeff Wilson/Silverback/Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>And we found that an enormous variety of animals had returned, including the wolf. The wolf is an apex predator. The wolves are only there if beneath it, there's a very, very healthy community. And we now know that there are seven times more wolves in the Chernobyl exclusion zone than anywhere else in Eastern Europe. And the key point—and it's very important in our series to remind people—[is] that nature is resilient. And if we give it space, if we work together to preserve it, it can bounce back. And Chernobyl is a wonderful example of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/713585983/713616971\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Gustavo Contreras and Dave Blanchard produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Patrick Jarenwattananon edited it for the Web.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aETNYyrqNYE\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Our+Planet%27+Nature+Documentary+Addresses+The+800-Pound+Gorilla+%E2%80%94+Human+Impact&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em> is the kind of nature show where every image could be a screen saver: sweeping, dramatic landscapes full of colorful animals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But among the high-definition scenes of lions on the hunt, there are some images you don't often see in these kinds of shows. Tropical reefs bleach into white bone-scapes; glaciers crumble into Arctic seas. In one particularly noteworthy sequence, \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/04/why-are-walruses-walking-off-cliffs/586510/\">confused walruses plummet off a cliff\u003c/a> to their deaths—a phenomenon that the show links to climate change and the decline of the walrus' preferred habitat of sea ice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Series producer Alastair Fothergill was responsible for some of the most high-profile nature documentaries of the last decade: \u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Blue Planet\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Frozen Planet\u003c/em>. In an interview, he says that it has previously been difficult to include environmental messaging in prime-time, mass-audience programming—and even so, that \u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em> is careful to show where earth is still very healthy, or has bounced back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But while other nature programs might make passing reference to the impact of humans, that narrative is at the center of \u003cem>Our Planet\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We decided way back, actually in 2012, that the time had come to try and do a series which would be as entertaining and as accessible as series like \u003cem>Planet Earth\u003c/em>—but for the first time deal in depth with the challenges that our planet faces,\" Fothergill says. \"There's no doubt that it is seriously under threat. And we felt that it was a story that urgently needed telling now.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The eight-part series, \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/tags/221779898/sir-david-attenborough\">narrated by David Attenborough\u003c/a>, is now streaming on Netflix.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/aETNYyrqNYE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/aETNYyrqNYE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003chr>\n\u003ch3>Interview Highlights\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On planning a project of this scale and rarity\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We spent a whole year planning: talking to scientists, talking to conservationists, deciding on our stories. And then we filmed over three years, and we spent a record 3,500 days in the field. To give you an idea, that means every final minute of the show you watch, we spent 10 days in the field. ...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But we were very specific. Although the animals don't read the script, we have a very, very organized and planned script and we knew exactly the narrative that we wanted to tell. ... What is very important to us is that each individual episode tell a bigger story about each individual habitat. Because what's very interesting is the challenges to the habitats, the threats to the habitats and the solutions to those habitats differ, depending on whether it's the open ocean, the tropical forest or the coniferous forest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On capturing the Siberian tiger in the wild\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think the Siberian tiger is a wonderful achievement. It's the first intimate images of these amazing cats in the wild. And to give you a sense of how difficult it was, over two winters, three cameramen were literally locked away inside wooden hides. They didn't come out for six weeks. Everything you need to do to survive, they did inside the small box. And they worked for two winters. They got one single shot of a wild Siberian tiger. At the same time, we had in about 40 motion-control cameras—remote cameras that are set off by the moving animal. And again, the first winter we got nothing really. We got lynx going past, other animals of the forest. But over that period we began to see the movements of the tigers, how they were moving in that area. And the second season we got 36 precious, precious images. For me, it's a wonderfully emblematic sequence of a wonderfully rare, wild, iconic species of the boreal forest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111079\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-111079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"A Siberian tiger is caught on camera in the boreal forests of Russia's Pacific Coast.\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-768x405.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1020x537.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1200x632.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0-1920x1012.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/ourplanettiger_custom-e267f4e51443a8f2a8a5b9d9814e5650b4353ab0.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">A Siberian tiger is caught on camera in the boreal forests of Russia's Pacific Coast. \u003ccite>(Kieran O'Donovan/Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the images the show missed\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know, failure is my job, and we failed a lot. Often to get the sequence, we'd go one season—as I described the Siberian tiger—back and back and back. And yes, there are things that we still have to do and still have to film—which is great, because I've still got the life in me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the forest sequence in Madagascar\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The patch of forest where we were filming was destroyed by the end of our filming period, yes. It was desperately, desperately sad. I mean, you know, Madagascar is a poor country. There's a lot of pressure; people need land. But the traditional forest—there's only 3 percent left. It's got so many precious, precious animals there. We really need to help those people to preserve the lemurs and all the wonderful forests that they live in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>On the forest sequence in Chernobyl\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thirty-three years ago, of course, famously the [nuclear] reactor at Chernobyl exploded. It was probably the greatest environmental disaster in living memory. And 30 years later, we ... go back and amazingly, the forest, the resilient forest, has overtaken Chernobyl. It's a green oasis now. And because people can't go there for very long because of the radiation—it's dangerous for us to stay there for a long period—it's been left alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_111085\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 755px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-111085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM.png\" alt=\"At a fairground within Ukraine's Chernobyl exclusion zone, a birch forest has emerged decades after a nuclear reactor accident forced the abandonment of the area.\" width=\"755\" height=\"401\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM.png 755w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-16-at-12.41.39-PM-160x85.png 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 755px) 100vw, 755px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">At a fairground within Ukraine's Chernobyl exclusion zone, a birch forest has emerged decades after a nuclear reactor accident forced the abandonment of the area. \u003ccite>(Jeff Wilson/Silverback/Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>And we found that an enormous variety of animals had returned, including the wolf. The wolf is an apex predator. The wolves are only there if beneath it, there's a very, very healthy community. And we now know that there are seven times more wolves in the Chernobyl exclusion zone than anywhere else in Eastern Europe. And the key point—and it's very important in our series to remind people—[is] that nature is resilient. And if we give it space, if we work together to preserve it, it can bounce back. And Chernobyl is a wonderful example of that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.npr.org/player/embed/713585983/713616971\" width=\"100%\" height=\"290\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Gustavo Contreras and Dave Blanchard produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Patrick Jarenwattananon edited it for the Web.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aETNYyrqNYE\">NPR\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Our+Planet%27+Nature+Documentary+Addresses+The+800-Pound+Gorilla+%E2%80%94+Human+Impact&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>When most people think about 2020, a wave of fear and dread washes over them. If the next general election is anything like 2016, it's going to be a slog for everyone. Thoughtfully, MTV is trying its best to bring balance back to the universe by grabbing all the reality shows that best transform our thinkin' brains into bowls of mush, and throwing them together in a room for our entertainment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the same way that Comic-Con gathers together stars from every spectrum of the sci-fi and comic book universes, RealityCon is poised do the same for reality TV stars, with panels, Q&As, and performances. Given that MTV was responsible for kickstarting the reality show genre with \u003cem>The Real World\u003c/em> in 1992, it makes perfect sense for the channel to be the host—but this won't only be about MTV branded shows. If you've ever wanted to meet a Bachelor, or a Survivor, or a Mob Wife, this is going to be the event of the summer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>RealityCon aims to answer all of the burning questions that keep reality TV fans awake at night. Such as, \"What would happen if the \u003cem>Duck Dynasty\u003c/em> beards hung out with the queens of \u003cem>Ru Paul's Drag Race\u003c/em>?\" And \"Who would win in a fist fight between Snooki and Teresa Giudice?\" And \"Could I pick out anyone who's ever been on \u003cem>Big Brother\u003c/em> in a line-up?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More details, such as exactly where and exactly when this all takes place, are expected sometime this fall. No word yet on whether Lady Gaga will reunite with the cast of \u003cem>The Hills\u003c/em>, but we're keeping our fingers crossed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy5UfikHgY0&t=79s\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When most people think about 2020, a wave of fear and dread washes over them. If the next general election is anything like 2016, it's going to be a slog for everyone. Thoughtfully, MTV is trying its best to bring balance back to the universe by grabbing all the reality shows that best transform our thinkin' brains into bowls of mush, and throwing them together in a room for our entertainment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the same way that Comic-Con gathers together stars from every spectrum of the sci-fi and comic book universes, RealityCon is poised do the same for reality TV stars, with panels, Q&As, and performances. Given that MTV was responsible for kickstarting the reality show genre with \u003cem>The Real World\u003c/em> in 1992, it makes perfect sense for the channel to be the host—but this won't only be about MTV branded shows. If you've ever wanted to meet a Bachelor, or a Survivor, or a Mob Wife, this is going to be the event of the summer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>RealityCon aims to answer all of the burning questions that keep reality TV fans awake at night. Such as, \"What would happen if the \u003cem>Duck Dynasty\u003c/em> beards hung out with the queens of \u003cem>Ru Paul's Drag Race\u003c/em>?\" And \"Who would win in a fist fight between Snooki and Teresa Giudice?\" And \"Could I pick out anyone who's ever been on \u003cem>Big Brother\u003c/em> in a line-up?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More details, such as exactly where and exactly when this all takes place, are expected sometime this fall. No word yet on whether Lady Gaga will reunite with the cast of \u003cem>The Hills\u003c/em>, but we're keeping our fingers crossed.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Hy5UfikHgY0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Hy5UfikHgY0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good",
"title": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>The wait for a new episode of Game Of Thrones is finally over!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Let's not waste any more time with introductions. On with the recap!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A millisecond into the intro and I've already gasped. R.I.P. The Wall!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111012\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-wall.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone in the seven kingdoms is about to be this lady:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111013\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/help-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Arya—or as I like to call her Queen Arya of the House Stark, the First of Her Name, Keeper of Lists, Queen of My Heart, the Unbothered—watches as hundreds of troops gallop into Winterfell to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. She spots blasts from her past, including Gendry, Clegane and her brother from another mother (and father, turns out), Jon Snow. She almost calls out to Jon but stops herself. Ugh, nothing has even happened yet and I already want to cry. This is going to be a very emotional and overwhelming six weeks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111015\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/somebody-sedate-me-greys-anatomy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"442\" height=\"288\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone looks solemn because, well, that's just what your face does when the world is ending. Also, I'm assuming that, like me, everyone is still mourning Viserion. *blasts the saddest Adele song and cries while stroking a photo of Viserion before he got ice blue contacts*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, sorry, I promise to try and pull myself together. Tyrion helps me do so by cracking the first joke of the season, telling noted eunuch Varys: \"You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111016\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/frozen-balls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"267\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We might be laughing, but Varys is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/notfunny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the procession, Missandei and Grey Worm pretend not to notice that a whole bunch of these white folk are seeing black people for the first time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111017\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-stare.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The white folk are further spooked by their first sight of dragons. Rhaegal and Drogon show off, while their mommy smiles her approval from below. I swear, if anything happens to them, I will make my own Arya-style revenge list featuring the names of the show's writers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111030\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/leave-drogon-alone-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, I just took the time to make this, even though I'm on deadline. That's how serious I am about the well-being of these dragons! But I digress...)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jon Snow gallops through the Winterfell gates and rushes to kiss Bran. Watch how quickly Jon goes from \u003cem>Yay! My baby bro is all grown up now!\u003c/em> to \u003cem>WTF! My baby bro is off-puttingly weird now! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111018\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-weird.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Want another super awkward encounter? Good. Daenerys walks up to Sansa and smiles in a \u003cem>I'm sleeping with your brother so it's best if we get along, but I will totally instruct one of my dragon babies to torch your head if I need to\u003c/em> kind of way. Sansa smiles back in a \u003cem>I let dogs devour my ex; don't test me\u003c/em> kind of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bran interrupts their fake smile duel with a CliffsNotes version of how f*cked they all are: \u003cem>Hey, y'all! We don't have time for this BS! Your dragon was turned into a zombie, the Wall went kablooey and Waze says the zombie army's ETA is VERY SOON. So get your sh*t together! Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After bringing all the North's VIPs together for a strategy session, Sansa proves that, although she might no longer wield power over this particular kingdom anymore, she does still wield the power of a withering side eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111019\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-side-eye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's not the only one less than thrilled about Daenerys taking over. Our favorite grade school badass, Lady Lyanna Mormont, stands up to call Jon out: \"Your Grace... but you're not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a... I'm not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111020\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/stop-hes-already-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jon takes being eviscerated by a nine-year-old pretty well and explains that titles won't matter much if the Night King kills them all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sansa brings up the issue of not having enough food to feed a vast army and two huge dragons. Daenerys is too jet-lagged to keep up the fake smile charade. She's now graduated to flat out saying, \u003cem>I will totally feed you to my dragons if you keep testing me, little girl.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111021\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-stardown-dragons-eat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this episode hasn't been awkward enough, Tyrion approaches his ex-wife, Sansa, for a chat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tyrion:\u003c/strong> \"Last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. Miserable affair.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \"It had its moments.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-york-tiffany-wine-laughing-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"307\" height=\"179\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, if you don't stan for Sansa after the way she just savored the memory of Joffrey croaking, something's wrong with you. Honestly, if she's the one sitting on the Iron Throne at the end of all this, I won't be mad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That joke is enough for Tyrion to forgive Sansa for bouncing on him without warning all those years ago. Plus, he's smart enough to know it isn't wise to bet against her: \"Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.\" Damn straight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of underestimating women, Sansa can't believe Tyrion is falling for Cersei's pretend vow to send help. \"I used to think you were the cleverest man alive.\" Ouch. If she's doesn't ease up soon, Tyrion is going to join the no-balls-left-to-freeze club.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, would you look at the time! It's Bran-weirds-someone-else-out o'clock!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111022\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/weird-out-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out by the bleeding Weirwood tree, Arya sneaks up on Jon and accuses him of lying about his height on his driver's license:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"You used to be taller.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"How did you sneak up on me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"How did you survive a knife through the heart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"I didn't.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They laugh and hug. Glad we can all chuckle about Jon's gruesome death now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111023\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/sad-laugh-bridesmaids.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After comparing swords (like us, Jon is a Needle Fan Club member), Jon complains about Sansa not being nice to his \u003cdel>aunt\u003c/del> new girlfriend. Before Bran can pop up from behind the tree to give his WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BS! TedTalk again, Arya sets Jon straight:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"Sansa thinks she's smarter than everyone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"She's the smartest person I have ever met.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Starks rule, Targaryen drool (while making out with each other).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down in King's Landing, Cersei is informed about the Night King breaking through the Wall. Her sociopathic response does not disappoint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111024\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/cersei-game-of-thrones-good-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that's not the only bon mot she's got for us. Later that night, Euron Greyjoy tries to booty call Cersei. She slays him with a line that will surely be weaponized on dating apps for years to come:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111025\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/you-want-a-whore-buy-one-cersei-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Euron reminds Cersei of the fact that, without his men, she'll be easily overthrown, Cersei reconsiders and lets him hit it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111031\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/oh-god-honey-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they're not the only ones getting it on. Elsewhere in the castle, Bronn is busy doing what he does best—having an orgy—'cause it's a day ending in y. Cersei's right-hand man interrupts the foursome with a proposition: A bottomless fund for prostitutes in exchange for murdering Jamie and Tyrion (if the zombies don't get to them first). Somewhere out there, Jamie's last remaining middle finger goes up in the direction of Cersei's bedroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Cersei's bedroom, Euron is in there asking if he's better at sex than her brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cersei:\u003c/strong> \"You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Euron:\u003c/strong> \"Life is boring!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cersei:\u003c/strong> \"You might be the most arrogant man I've ever met. I like that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Euron:\u003c/strong> \"I'm going to put a prince in your belly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First of all, ew. Second of all, womb already rented out, dude. Sorry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a ship in the harbor, arrows shoot through a bunch of unsuspecting skulls. Oh, how we've missed you, \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. After axing a guard right in the face, Theon rescues Yara, who immediately head butts him in the nose. Siblings: can't live with 'em, can't have an unfractured septum without 'em.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, this whole Daenerys vs. Sansa thing is still going on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Your sister doesn't like me. She doesn't need to be my friend, but I am her Queen. If she can't respect me...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few Dothraki interrupt, but we can already guess how that thought ends. Something to do with Sansa being turned into a tasty kebab for our two favorite reptiles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Drogon and Rhaegal, it's time for their close-up, Mr. Demille. Daenerys hops on one of them for a ride and encourages Jon to do the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"I don't know how to ride a dragon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Nobody does until they ride a dragon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"What if he doesn't want me to?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Then I've enjoyed your company, Jon Snow.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's take a moment to savor this witty foreplay banter while they're still in the dark about their 23andMe DNA results.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After flying around for a while, they settle in front of a snow-covered waterfall.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"It's cold up here for a southern girl.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"So keep your Queen warm.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I get that I'm supposed to be grossed out by them being related, but I'm strangely into this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What? Don't look at me like that! They've been through a lot! They deserve a few orgasms!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While they're licking the insides of each other's mouths, Jon Snow opens one of his eyes to find that not everyone is on board with this incestuous coupling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111026\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-kiss-dragon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dinosaurs-laugh-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"383\" height=\"277\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, Arya rolls up on Clegane, who for some reason thinks it's a good idea to call her out:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Clegane:\u003c/strong> \"You left me to die!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"First I robbed you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111027\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/comeback.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she's not done roasting people. When noticing that her dagger is made of Valerian steel, Gendry says, \"I always knew you were just another rich girl.\" To which, Arya claps back, \"You don't know any other rich girls.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111027\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/comeback.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the castle, Daenerys walks up to Samwell to thank him for curing Jorah of his psoriasis or whatever. Their conversation goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Wait, your last name is Tarly?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Samwell:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yep!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, I killed your dad.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Samwell:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>What?!\u003c/em> *stifled sob* \u003cem>Well, he was a dick anyway. I guess the silver lining is that now I get to go back home 'cause my brother will be in charge and he's not so bad.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, yeah, about that... I killed him too. #Awkward! Anyway, thanks again for being my friend's dermatologist. See you around!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Samwell runs outside, crying, only to get hit by the Bran Weirdo Express. Bran tells Sam it's time to tell Jon that he's sleeping with his aunt. Someone hand Bran some popcorn 'cause he sure does live for the drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-101650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/popcorn-steph-curry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam finds Jon being emo in the crypt and breaks the news to him. \u003cem>Your new girlfriend killed my family. And she's your aunt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This pretty much sums up Jon's reaction:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some other part of the North, Tormund a.k.a. Ginger Daddy and a few others walk into an abandoned, bloody castle. They hear a bit of clanging and prepare to throw down, but it turns out to be a friend. Phew! But their friend is still spooked: \"Stay back! He's got blue eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"I've always had blue eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You have to appreciate the \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> writers' ability to weave in this many LOL moments into such a dark story. Alas, the laughter is short lived because OMG THERE IS A LITTLE BOY CRUCIFIED IN THE CENTER OF A PINWHEEL OF SEVERED LIMBS AND HE DOESN'T STAY DEAD FOR LONG!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111028\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-evil-zombie-boy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/buffy-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, it's that time again: Bran Weirds Someone Out o'clock! But this one is way more loaded than the rest because Jamie is on the receiving end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111029\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-jamie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, sh*t! Is that the kid I threw out the window in episode 1 of this series?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/06/post-33433-surprise-bitch-gif-Madison-Mon-0Xnt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Game Of Thrones\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/les-miserables\">\u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>\u003c/a>)!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Need a cheeky unpacking of all the crazy stuff that happened in this week's 'Game of Thrones' premiere? This recap has your back! ⚔️🐉\r\n",
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"description": "Need a cheeky unpacking of all the crazy stuff that happened in this week's 'Game of Thrones' premiere? This recap has your back! ⚔️🐉\r\n",
"title": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good | KQED",
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"headline": "'Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premiere Recap: Reunited And It Feels So Good",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>The wait for a new episode of Game Of Thrones is finally over!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mru6pebj0e1qz4rgp-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Let's not waste any more time with introductions. On with the recap!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A millisecond into the intro and I've already gasped. R.I.P. The Wall!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111012\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-wall.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone in the seven kingdoms is about to be this lady:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111013\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/help-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Arya—or as I like to call her Queen Arya of the House Stark, the First of Her Name, Keeper of Lists, Queen of My Heart, the Unbothered—watches as hundreds of troops gallop into Winterfell to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. She spots blasts from her past, including Gendry, Clegane and her brother from another mother (and father, turns out), Jon Snow. She almost calls out to Jon but stops herself. Ugh, nothing has even happened yet and I already want to cry. This is going to be a very emotional and overwhelming six weeks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111015\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/somebody-sedate-me-greys-anatomy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"442\" height=\"288\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone looks solemn because, well, that's just what your face does when the world is ending. Also, I'm assuming that, like me, everyone is still mourning Viserion. *blasts the saddest Adele song and cries while stroking a photo of Viserion before he got ice blue contacts*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, sorry, I promise to try and pull myself together. Tyrion helps me do so by cracking the first joke of the season, telling noted eunuch Varys: \"You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111016\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/frozen-balls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"267\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We might be laughing, but Varys is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/09/notfunny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"235\" height=\"183\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the procession, Missandei and Grey Worm pretend not to notice that a whole bunch of these white folk are seeing black people for the first time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111017\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-stare.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The white folk are further spooked by their first sight of dragons. Rhaegal and Drogon show off, while their mommy smiles her approval from below. I swear, if anything happens to them, I will make my own Arya-style revenge list featuring the names of the show's writers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111030\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/leave-drogon-alone-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, I just took the time to make this, even though I'm on deadline. That's how serious I am about the well-being of these dragons! But I digress...)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jon Snow gallops through the Winterfell gates and rushes to kiss Bran. Watch how quickly Jon goes from \u003cem>Yay! My baby bro is all grown up now!\u003c/em> to \u003cem>WTF! My baby bro is off-puttingly weird now! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111018\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-weird.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Want another super awkward encounter? Good. Daenerys walks up to Sansa and smiles in a \u003cem>I'm sleeping with your brother so it's best if we get along, but I will totally instruct one of my dragon babies to torch your head if I need to\u003c/em> kind of way. Sansa smiles back in a \u003cem>I let dogs devour my ex; don't test me\u003c/em> kind of way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bran interrupts their fake smile duel with a CliffsNotes version of how f*cked they all are: \u003cem>Hey, y'all! We don't have time for this BS! Your dragon was turned into a zombie, the Wall went kablooey and Waze says the zombie army's ETA is VERY SOON. So get your sh*t together! Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After bringing all the North's VIPs together for a strategy session, Sansa proves that, although she might no longer wield power over this particular kingdom anymore, she does still wield the power of a withering side eye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111019\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-side-eye.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's not the only one less than thrilled about Daenerys taking over. Our favorite grade school badass, Lady Lyanna Mormont, stands up to call Jon out: \"Your Grace... but you're not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a... I'm not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111020\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/stop-hes-already-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jon takes being eviscerated by a nine-year-old pretty well and explains that titles won't matter much if the Night King kills them all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sansa brings up the issue of not having enough food to feed a vast army and two huge dragons. Daenerys is too jet-lagged to keep up the fake smile charade. She's now graduated to flat out saying, \u003cem>I will totally feed you to my dragons if you keep testing me, little girl.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111021\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-stardown-dragons-eat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this episode hasn't been awkward enough, Tyrion approaches his ex-wife, Sansa, for a chat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tyrion:\u003c/strong> \"Last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. Miserable affair.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sansa:\u003c/strong> \"It had its moments.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108934\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/new-york-tiffany-wine-laughing-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"307\" height=\"179\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, if you don't stan for Sansa after the way she just savored the memory of Joffrey croaking, something's wrong with you. Honestly, if she's the one sitting on the Iron Throne at the end of all this, I won't be mad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That joke is enough for Tyrion to forgive Sansa for bouncing on him without warning all those years ago. Plus, he's smart enough to know it isn't wise to bet against her: \"Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.\" Damn straight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of underestimating women, Sansa can't believe Tyrion is falling for Cersei's pretend vow to send help. \"I used to think you were the cleverest man alive.\" Ouch. If she's doesn't ease up soon, Tyrion is going to join the no-balls-left-to-freeze club.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, would you look at the time! It's Bran-weirds-someone-else-out o'clock!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111022\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/weird-out-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Out by the bleeding Weirwood tree, Arya sneaks up on Jon and accuses him of lying about his height on his driver's license:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"You used to be taller.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"How did you sneak up on me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"How did you survive a knife through the heart.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"I didn't.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They laugh and hug. Glad we can all chuckle about Jon's gruesome death now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111023\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/sad-laugh-bridesmaids.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After comparing swords (like us, Jon is a Needle Fan Club member), Jon complains about Sansa not being nice to his \u003cdel>aunt\u003c/del> new girlfriend. Before Bran can pop up from behind the tree to give his WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BS! TedTalk again, Arya sets Jon straight:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"Sansa thinks she's smarter than everyone.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"She's the smartest person I have ever met.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Starks rule, Targaryen drool (while making out with each other).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Down in King's Landing, Cersei is informed about the Night King breaking through the Wall. Her sociopathic response does not disappoint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111024\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/cersei-game-of-thrones-good-lol.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that's not the only bon mot she's got for us. Later that night, Euron Greyjoy tries to booty call Cersei. She slays him with a line that will surely be weaponized on dating apps for years to come:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111025\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/you-want-a-whore-buy-one-cersei-game-of-thrones.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Euron reminds Cersei of the fact that, without his men, she'll be easily overthrown, Cersei reconsiders and lets him hit it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111031\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/oh-god-honey-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"201\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they're not the only ones getting it on. Elsewhere in the castle, Bronn is busy doing what he does best—having an orgy—'cause it's a day ending in y. Cersei's right-hand man interrupts the foursome with a proposition: A bottomless fund for prostitutes in exchange for murdering Jamie and Tyrion (if the zombies don't get to them first). Somewhere out there, Jamie's last remaining middle finger goes up in the direction of Cersei's bedroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Cersei's bedroom, Euron is in there asking if he's better at sex than her brother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cersei:\u003c/strong> \"You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Euron:\u003c/strong> \"Life is boring!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cersei:\u003c/strong> \"You might be the most arrogant man I've ever met. I like that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Euron:\u003c/strong> \"I'm going to put a prince in your belly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First of all, ew. Second of all, womb already rented out, dude. Sorry.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a ship in the harbor, arrows shoot through a bunch of unsuspecting skulls. Oh, how we've missed you, \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. After axing a guard right in the face, Theon rescues Yara, who immediately head butts him in the nose. Siblings: can't live with 'em, can't have an unfractured septum without 'em.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, this whole Daenerys vs. Sansa thing is still going on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Your sister doesn't like me. She doesn't need to be my friend, but I am her Queen. If she can't respect me...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few Dothraki interrupt, but we can already guess how that thought ends. Something to do with Sansa being turned into a tasty kebab for our two favorite reptiles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Drogon and Rhaegal, it's time for their close-up, Mr. Demille. Daenerys hops on one of them for a ride and encourages Jon to do the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"I don't know how to ride a dragon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Nobody does until they ride a dragon.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"What if he doesn't want me to?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"Then I've enjoyed your company, Jon Snow.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's take a moment to savor this witty foreplay banter while they're still in the dark about their 23andMe DNA results.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After flying around for a while, they settle in front of a snow-covered waterfall.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jon:\u003c/strong> \"It's cold up here for a southern girl.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \"So keep your Queen warm.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, I get that I'm supposed to be grossed out by them being related, but I'm strangely into this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What? Don't look at me like that! They've been through a lot! They deserve a few orgasms!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While they're licking the insides of each other's mouths, Jon Snow opens one of his eyes to find that not everyone is on board with this incestuous coupling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111026\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-kiss-dragon.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-108543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/dinosaurs-laugh-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"383\" height=\"277\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, Arya rolls up on Clegane, who for some reason thinks it's a good idea to call her out:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Clegane:\u003c/strong> \"You left me to die!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Arya:\u003c/strong> \"First I robbed you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111027\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/comeback.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she's not done roasting people. When noticing that her dagger is made of Valerian steel, Gendry says, \"I always knew you were just another rich girl.\" To which, Arya claps back, \"You don't know any other rich girls.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111027\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/comeback.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the castle, Daenerys walks up to Samwell to thank him for curing Jorah of his psoriasis or whatever. Their conversation goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Wait, your last name is Tarly?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Samwell:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Yep!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, I killed your dad.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Samwell:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>What?!\u003c/em> *stifled sob* \u003cem>Well, he was a dick anyway. I guess the silver lining is that now I get to go back home 'cause my brother will be in charge and he's not so bad.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Daenerys:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, yeah, about that... I killed him too. #Awkward! Anyway, thanks again for being my friend's dermatologist. See you around!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Samwell runs outside, crying, only to get hit by the Bran Weirdo Express. Bran tells Sam it's time to tell Jon that he's sleeping with his aunt. Someone hand Bran some popcorn 'cause he sure does live for the drama.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-101650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/popcorn-steph-curry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam finds Jon being emo in the crypt and breaks the news to him. \u003cem>Your new girlfriend killed my family. And she's your aunt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This pretty much sums up Jon's reaction:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some other part of the North, Tormund a.k.a. Ginger Daddy and a few others walk into an abandoned, bloody castle. They hear a bit of clanging and prepare to throw down, but it turns out to be a friend. Phew! But their friend is still spooked: \"Stay back! He's got blue eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tormund:\u003c/strong> \"I've always had blue eyes!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You have to appreciate the \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> writers' ability to weave in this many LOL moments into such a dark story. Alas, the laughter is short lived because OMG THERE IS A LITTLE BOY CRUCIFIED IN THE CENTER OF A PINWHEEL OF SEVERED LIMBS AND HE DOESN'T STAY DEAD FOR LONG!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111028\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-evil-zombie-boy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/01/buffy-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Winterfell, it's that time again: Bran Weirds Someone Out o'clock! But this one is way more loaded than the rest because Jamie is on the receiving end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111029\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/game-of-thrones-bran-jamie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jamie:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, sh*t! Is that the kid I threw out the window in episode 1 of this series?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bran:\u003c/strong> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/06/post-33433-surprise-bitch-gif-Madison-Mon-0Xnt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Game Of Thrones\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/les-miserables\">\u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>\u003c/a>)!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Les Miserables' Episode 1 Recap: Un-Break My Heart",
"title": "'Les Miserables' Episode 1 Recap: Un-Break My Heart",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from my \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003cem>, \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey\u003c/a>\u003cem> or \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">Poldark\u003c/a>\u003cem> recaps. Since those shows wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports, so I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with the new adaptation of \u003c/em>Les Miserables\u003cem>. I hope you'll join me. Let's do this!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's the summer of June 1815! Put your bathing suit away though because things are BLEAK. We've been plopped into the day right after the Battle of Waterloo, where Napoleon was officially canceled, 65,000 people died and a 20-year-long war was finally put to a bloody end. Mom, can you come and pick me up? I'm scared.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's worse than a series of panoramic shots of mutilated, dead soldiers as far as the eye can see? Close-up shots of dead horses with their eyes open, that's what! Because being scarred for life by Artex's death scene in \u003cem>The Neverending Story\u003c/em> just wasn't enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/artax-neverending-story.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"149\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great, it gets worse; another horse blinks slowly as it takes its agonizing last breaths. I expect gruesome horse deaths from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, but not Masterpiece Theater! Toto, we're not in Cornwall with Ross Poldark anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A robber runs around stealing trinkets from the dead, until one of the corpses is like, \u003cem>Um, what the hell, I'm still (barely) alive. By the way, who won the war? \u003c/em>Turns out there's no nice way to say, \"Not you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to some point in the future. We're now in Paris and I don't see a single dying horse (hallelujah!). Things are still bleak though. Think of the opening \"Bonjour!\" sequence from Disney's \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>, but everyone is starving too much to deliver a hearty good morning, let alone sing one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's less of this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110536\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/03/belle-beauty-and-the-beast-spin-happy-book.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And more of this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110535\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/03/i-need-six-eggs-beauty-and-the-beast-disney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In short, the struggle is very real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nearly dead dude from earlier has a name—Pontmercy—and somehow managed to survive. You'd think things could only get better after being left for dead under the weight of a deceased horse, but Pontmercy's life still sucks. His #TeamMonarchy father-in-law has his curly ponytailed wig in a twist over Pontmercy's allegiance to #TeamBonaparte and bans him from ever seeing his son. Homeboy just went to equine hell and back; can we cut him some slack?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110979\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-door-slam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll take that as a no. Can someone throw a dead horse on #TeamMonarchy father-in-law already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, a girl named Fantine excitedly makes plans with her two friends. I don't know much about the story of \u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>, but I do know a lot about Anne Hathaway's 2013 Oscar campaign for playing this role. I won't spoil anything for those more clueless than I, but let's just say: soak up any shots of Fantine smiling and enjoying her long hair while you can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in a place called Toulon, Prisoner #24601 is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Not only is he in chains, being marched out of a disease-ridden boat to do hard labor in the sun all day, but annoying kids have to be brats on top of everything else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110982\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-brat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hello? Yes, I'd like to order another dead horse. You can deliver that to the top of this little kid's head. Okay, great, thank you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the quarry job site, Prisoner #24601 watches guards taunt and beat his fellow prisoners for no reason. He thinks to himself, \u003cem>I know this series has the word \"miserable\" in the title, but enough is enough.\u003c/em> Prisoner #24601 uses his pick-ax to unleash an avalanche of boulders on one of the guards. Everyone is horrified by the man's screams except for Prisoner #24601, who looks on while making this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No one can get the guard out from under the rocks, so Prisoner #24601 lifts the rocks with his back while turning a scary red color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-110983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1020x465.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"292\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1020x465.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-160x73.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-800x365.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-768x350.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1200x547.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM.png 1276w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Hulk, but crimson. I'm into it (and a little scared).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the lead prison guard, Javert, taunts Prisoner #24601: \u003cem>You thought you were going to be released early for being heroic? LOL, never gonna happen! P.S. I bet I would be a better criminal than you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay. Next time, just say \"Nanny nanny boo boo\" and let this poor man go back to \u003cdel>bed\u003c/del> the planks of wood he is forced to sleep on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prisoner #24601 is apparently serving a 19-year sentence for stealing a measly piece of bread. Thank goodness we no longer live in a society where people receive absurdly long jail sentences for minor crimes. Oh, wait...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, at a rave in Paris, three guys check out Fantine and her friends. They agree Fantine is a virgin and one of them decides to—I'm guessing—ruin her life. They all dance until daybreak and Fantine seems happy. I'm already devastated about whatever's about to happen to her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/despair-sad-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"299\" height=\"238\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At work the next day, Fantine is all;\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96642\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"366\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of her friends tries to get real with her, explaining that fancy men only want one thing from working girls like them, and it's not a hand in marriage. Now that that's cleared up, someone should also tell Fantine that, even though she could totally play a convincing Belle, this isn't a Disney production and her happy ending is most definitely going to get lost in the mail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite her friend's warning, Fantine hangs out with Felix again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"You look like an angel.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Fantine:\u003c/strong> \"My friend said I shouldn't believe a word you say.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND, FANTINE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"Before I met you, I sought nothing but my own selfish pleasure. Now, I want to dedicate my life to you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HA HA HA, THAT'S FUNNY, FELIX. TELL ANOTHER ONE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"You see, I'm a poet. I hope to be famous one day. And you will be my Muse.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>RUN, FANTINE, RUN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"I wonder if you know how I'm suffering. Are you going to be merciful, Fantine? Will you take pity on me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Fantine:\u003c/strong> \"I don't want you to be sad. You promise you'll be good to be, Felix?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"On my life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HE IS SCAMMING YOU, FANTINE! DON'T FALL FOR IT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine falls for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110992\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/face-palm-compilation.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"343\" height=\"272\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Toulon, Javert makes an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with Prisoner #24601 while another prisoner is executed by a firing squad. This series is in desperate need of some cute puppy relief. I'm gonna place this darling image of my favorite Masterpiece pup, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s Horace the Pug, here as a form of cleansing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ahhh. I feel better, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at #TeamRoyalist HQ, Pontmercy's father-in-law is brainwashing Pontmercy's son, Marius, with classist propaganda. He's also getting him drunk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-wine-drinking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Napoleon: Scoundrel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daddy: Scoundrel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This wine: Crisp with notes of pear and a nice tart finish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden we're hit with a sped-up montage of clouds moving, icicles melting and Fantine losing her virginity. Boom, it's a year later. Time flies after you discover the joys of sex with a man who's no good for you, I guess. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Toulon, Prisoner #24601 has finally served his entire 19 years and is being released. He strips off his prisoner uniform and Javert can't help but sneak a peek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110987\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-naked.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110989\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/he-must-work-out-dumb-and-dumber.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"413\" height=\"232\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With only a handful of francs to his name (which is Jean Valjean by the way...)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110990\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-jean-valjean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...Valjean wanders the French countryside, which is full of haters. Every villager he comes across is too busy giving him a dirty look to give him a helping hand. So he tries to make his own way, offering to help haul barrels of ale into a tavern for an entire afternoon for some change. After all the work is done, the owners grossly underpay him because he's an ex-convict. Or maybe they just have a thing against bold beards?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Valjean is turned away from every inn in town. (Bethlehem called. They want their heartlessness back.) While trying to get some shut-eye on a public bench, a cute old lady is like, \u003cem>Hey, sorry that all my neighbors are a-holes. Try that house over there.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside that house over there, a bishop is having a low-key \u003cdel>Netflix and\u003c/del> chill night in. His maid is cluing him into all the town gossip: \u003cem>My holy dude, today there was this creepy crimson Hulk guy with a really ugly face walking around town. Because What Would Jesus Do? bracelets haven't been invented yet, none of us have to feel bad about not wanting to help him. That's how religion works, right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just then, Valjean shows up like \u003cem>Hey, who was just talking smack about my face?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110995\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, unlike his maid and neighbors, the bishop is woke. He's not a fan of the prison industrial complex and offers Valjean a meal and a guest room. Valjean looks all around for Ashton Kutcher, convinced that he's being Punk'd. 19 years without even a smidge of kindness would make anyone paranoid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woke Bishop and Valjean get into a debate about whether love and kindness can change a man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Woke Bishop:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Eat pray love is my philosophy! Hm, maybe I should write a polarizing memoir and call it that!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Valjean:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sounds like something terrible I would never read! I'd be into something called Eat Curse Hate though.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They agree to disagree for now and head to bed. Woke Bishop gives Valjean the room next to his and even leaves the door between their rooms open as a sign of trust. Am I the only one who wants this guy to be my grandpa and read to me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this point, Valjean is looking under the bed and behind the curtains for Ashton Kutcher. There's no way someone would be this nice for no reason, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once Woke Bishop is asleep and dreaming of meeting a hottie in Bali (the last section of his insufferable memoir isn't going to write itself!), Valjean steals all the silverware and sneaks out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, because he's a wonderful person, Woke Bishop sees the theft and betrayal as an opportunity to fall in love with eating with his hands. Someone canonize this man already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While St. Woke Bishop is enjoying some finger food, there's a knock at the door. It's a bunch of cops, who've caught Valjean and all the pilfered silverware.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>St. Woke Bishop:\u003c/strong> \"Welcome back! I'm glad to see you! You forgot to take the candlesticks, didn't you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then explains to the cops that he wants Valjean to have anything he wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110996\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/heart-burst-full-rainbows-colbert-crying-happy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the cops leave, St. Woke Bishop tells Valjean that the best way to repay him is to become a good man and live a good life. Valjean's face has an allergic reaction to all this kindness:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110997\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-valjean-mad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valjean storms out with all his loot and St. Woke Bishop gets back to smiling while eating with his fingers. Bless his heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Paris, Fantine and her friends are on a triple date with Felix and his bros. They all run around and kiss and pee in the woods and eat a fancy meal together. All the while, the boys keep alluding to a big surprise they have in store. Finally, they leave the dining room to go get it, leaving the girls to guess what it could be (something pretty? gold necklaces? a vow of feminism?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, a waiter comes in with an envelope with \"This is the surprise\" written on it. The letter reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This was fun and all, but rich men don't marry poor whores. HA HA HA! Talk to you never!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110998\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/i-hate-men-kiss-me-kate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"568\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, ghosting Fantine and her friends like that earns them not just a brief animated gif but the entire song:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAk_QbaB5Ts\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rot in hell, Felix and friends!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of rude men, on a country road, Valjean steals a little boy's money and laughs about it. Then he hears the church bells from the distant town and remembers sweet, old, fork-less St. Woke Bishop. Valjean finally feels a sense of shame and tries barking after the robbed little boy, but it's too late. Valjean realizes how badly he needs to rehabilitate (and bathe) himself. For now, doing child's pose in the middle of the road will have to be enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-110999\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-1020x685.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"430\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-1020x685.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-160x107.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-800x537.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-768x516.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM.png 1048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Paris, Fantine returns home, broken-hearted, and a woman with a baby says, \"Here's \u003cem>maman\u003c/em>!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111000\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/shocked-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine and Felix have a baby together???? Things just got a whole lot more (les) miserable(s).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine takes her daughter upstairs and sobs, \"Oh, Cosette, whatever are we going to do now?\" Probably suffer a lot and then die while Felix is off somewhere enjoying bonbons!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once more, with feeling:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110998\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/i-hate-men-kiss-me-kate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"568\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Felix And His Bros. \u003c/strong>Roll out the guillotine. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: All Those Dead Horses. \u003c/strong>I hope pony heaven is full of oats or whatever y'all are into. Miss you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Marius Pontmercy. \u003c/strong>A wine sommelier by the age of four? What a legend.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Fantine. \u003c/strong>Here's a silver lining to go with that silver medal: Brutal breakups lead to great breakup albums. Write your \u003cem>Jagged Little Pill\u003c/em>, sister!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: St. Woke Bishop\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Tied with Mister Rogers for Nicest Neighbor Ever. I can't wait to read his memoir.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and—coming soon—\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "It's the summer of June 1815! Put your bathing suit away though because things are BLEAK. ",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from my \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003cem>, \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey\u003c/a>\u003cem> or \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">Poldark\u003c/a>\u003cem> recaps. Since those shows wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports, so I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with the new adaptation of \u003c/em>Les Miserables\u003cem>. I hope you'll join me. Let's do this!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's the summer of June 1815! Put your bathing suit away though because things are BLEAK. We've been plopped into the day right after the Battle of Waterloo, where Napoleon was officially canceled, 65,000 people died and a 20-year-long war was finally put to a bloody end. Mom, can you come and pick me up? I'm scared.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's worse than a series of panoramic shots of mutilated, dead soldiers as far as the eye can see? Close-up shots of dead horses with their eyes open, that's what! Because being scarred for life by Artex's death scene in \u003cem>The Neverending Story\u003c/em> just wasn't enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/artax-neverending-story.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"149\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great, it gets worse; another horse blinks slowly as it takes its agonizing last breaths. I expect gruesome horse deaths from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, but not Masterpiece Theater! Toto, we're not in Cornwall with Ross Poldark anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A robber runs around stealing trinkets from the dead, until one of the corpses is like, \u003cem>Um, what the hell, I'm still (barely) alive. By the way, who won the war? \u003c/em>Turns out there's no nice way to say, \"Not you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to some point in the future. We're now in Paris and I don't see a single dying horse (hallelujah!). Things are still bleak though. Think of the opening \"Bonjour!\" sequence from Disney's \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em>, but everyone is starving too much to deliver a hearty good morning, let alone sing one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's less of this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110536\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/03/belle-beauty-and-the-beast-spin-happy-book.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And more of this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110535\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/03/i-need-six-eggs-beauty-and-the-beast-disney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In short, the struggle is very real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The nearly dead dude from earlier has a name—Pontmercy—and somehow managed to survive. You'd think things could only get better after being left for dead under the weight of a deceased horse, but Pontmercy's life still sucks. His #TeamMonarchy father-in-law has his curly ponytailed wig in a twist over Pontmercy's allegiance to #TeamBonaparte and bans him from ever seeing his son. Homeboy just went to equine hell and back; can we cut him some slack?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110979\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-door-slam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll take that as a no. Can someone throw a dead horse on #TeamMonarchy father-in-law already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, a girl named Fantine excitedly makes plans with her two friends. I don't know much about the story of \u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em>, but I do know a lot about Anne Hathaway's 2013 Oscar campaign for playing this role. I won't spoil anything for those more clueless than I, but let's just say: soak up any shots of Fantine smiling and enjoying her long hair while you can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in a place called Toulon, Prisoner #24601 is having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Not only is he in chains, being marched out of a disease-ridden boat to do hard labor in the sun all day, but annoying kids have to be brats on top of everything else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110982\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-brat.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hello? Yes, I'd like to order another dead horse. You can deliver that to the top of this little kid's head. Okay, great, thank you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the quarry job site, Prisoner #24601 watches guards taunt and beat his fellow prisoners for no reason. He thinks to himself, \u003cem>I know this series has the word \"miserable\" in the title, but enough is enough.\u003c/em> Prisoner #24601 uses his pick-ax to unleash an avalanche of boulders on one of the guards. Everyone is horrified by the man's screams except for Prisoner #24601, who looks on while making this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/evil-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"251\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No one can get the guard out from under the rocks, so Prisoner #24601 lifts the rocks with his back while turning a scary red color.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-110983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1020x465.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"292\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1020x465.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-160x73.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-800x365.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-768x350.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM-1200x547.png 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-3.21.32-PM.png 1276w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Hulk, but crimson. I'm into it (and a little scared).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the lead prison guard, Javert, taunts Prisoner #24601: \u003cem>You thought you were going to be released early for being heroic? LOL, never gonna happen! P.S. I bet I would be a better criminal than you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay. Next time, just say \"Nanny nanny boo boo\" and let this poor man go back to \u003cdel>bed\u003c/del> the planks of wood he is forced to sleep on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prisoner #24601 is apparently serving a 19-year sentence for stealing a measly piece of bread. Thank goodness we no longer live in a society where people receive absurdly long jail sentences for minor crimes. Oh, wait...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, at a rave in Paris, three guys check out Fantine and her friends. They agree Fantine is a virgin and one of them decides to—I'm guessing—ruin her life. They all dance until daybreak and Fantine seems happy. I'm already devastated about whatever's about to happen to her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106867\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/despair-sad-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"299\" height=\"238\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At work the next day, Fantine is all;\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96642\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"366\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of her friends tries to get real with her, explaining that fancy men only want one thing from working girls like them, and it's not a hand in marriage. Now that that's cleared up, someone should also tell Fantine that, even though she could totally play a convincing Belle, this isn't a Disney production and her happy ending is most definitely going to get lost in the mail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite her friend's warning, Fantine hangs out with Felix again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"You look like an angel.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Fantine:\u003c/strong> \"My friend said I shouldn't believe a word you say.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND, FANTINE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"Before I met you, I sought nothing but my own selfish pleasure. Now, I want to dedicate my life to you.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HA HA HA, THAT'S FUNNY, FELIX. TELL ANOTHER ONE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"You see, I'm a poet. I hope to be famous one day. And you will be my Muse.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>RUN, FANTINE, RUN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"I wonder if you know how I'm suffering. Are you going to be merciful, Fantine? Will you take pity on me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Fantine:\u003c/strong> \"I don't want you to be sad. You promise you'll be good to be, Felix?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Felix:\u003c/strong> \"On my life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HE IS SCAMMING YOU, FANTINE! DON'T FALL FOR IT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine falls for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110992\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/face-palm-compilation.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"343\" height=\"272\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Toulon, Javert makes an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with Prisoner #24601 while another prisoner is executed by a firing squad. This series is in desperate need of some cute puppy relief. I'm gonna place this darling image of my favorite Masterpiece pup, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>'s Horace the Pug, here as a form of cleansing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ahhh. I feel better, don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at #TeamRoyalist HQ, Pontmercy's father-in-law is brainwashing Pontmercy's son, Marius, with classist propaganda. He's also getting him drunk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-wine-drinking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Napoleon: Scoundrel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daddy: Scoundrel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This wine: Crisp with notes of pear and a nice tart finish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden we're hit with a sped-up montage of clouds moving, icicles melting and Fantine losing her virginity. Boom, it's a year later. Time flies after you discover the joys of sex with a man who's no good for you, I guess. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Toulon, Prisoner #24601 has finally served his entire 19 years and is being released. He strips off his prisoner uniform and Javert can't help but sneak a peek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110987\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-naked.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110989\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/he-must-work-out-dumb-and-dumber.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"413\" height=\"232\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With only a handful of francs to his name (which is Jean Valjean by the way...)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110990\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-jean-valjean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...Valjean wanders the French countryside, which is full of haters. Every villager he comes across is too busy giving him a dirty look to give him a helping hand. So he tries to make his own way, offering to help haul barrels of ale into a tavern for an entire afternoon for some change. After all the work is done, the owners grossly underpay him because he's an ex-convict. Or maybe they just have a thing against bold beards?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Valjean is turned away from every inn in town. (Bethlehem called. They want their heartlessness back.) While trying to get some shut-eye on a public bench, a cute old lady is like, \u003cem>Hey, sorry that all my neighbors are a-holes. Try that house over there.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside that house over there, a bishop is having a low-key \u003cdel>Netflix and\u003c/del> chill night in. His maid is cluing him into all the town gossip: \u003cem>My holy dude, today there was this creepy crimson Hulk guy with a really ugly face walking around town. Because What Would Jesus Do? bracelets haven't been invented yet, none of us have to feel bad about not wanting to help him. That's how religion works, right?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just then, Valjean shows up like \u003cem>Hey, who was just talking smack about my face?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110995\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-cross.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, unlike his maid and neighbors, the bishop is woke. He's not a fan of the prison industrial complex and offers Valjean a meal and a guest room. Valjean looks all around for Ashton Kutcher, convinced that he's being Punk'd. 19 years without even a smidge of kindness would make anyone paranoid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woke Bishop and Valjean get into a debate about whether love and kindness can change a man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Woke Bishop:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Eat pray love is my philosophy! Hm, maybe I should write a polarizing memoir and call it that!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Valjean:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sounds like something terrible I would never read! I'd be into something called Eat Curse Hate though.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They agree to disagree for now and head to bed. Woke Bishop gives Valjean the room next to his and even leaves the door between their rooms open as a sign of trust. Am I the only one who wants this guy to be my grandpa and read to me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this point, Valjean is looking under the bed and behind the curtains for Ashton Kutcher. There's no way someone would be this nice for no reason, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once Woke Bishop is asleep and dreaming of meeting a hottie in Bali (the last section of his insufferable memoir isn't going to write itself!), Valjean steals all the silverware and sneaks out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, because he's a wonderful person, Woke Bishop sees the theft and betrayal as an opportunity to fall in love with eating with his hands. Someone canonize this man already!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While St. Woke Bishop is enjoying some finger food, there's a knock at the door. It's a bunch of cops, who've caught Valjean and all the pilfered silverware.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>St. Woke Bishop:\u003c/strong> \"Welcome back! I'm glad to see you! You forgot to take the candlesticks, didn't you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then explains to the cops that he wants Valjean to have anything he wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110996\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/heart-burst-full-rainbows-colbert-crying-happy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the cops leave, St. Woke Bishop tells Valjean that the best way to repay him is to become a good man and live a good life. Valjean's face has an allergic reaction to all this kindness:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110997\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/les-miserables-valjean-mad.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valjean storms out with all his loot and St. Woke Bishop gets back to smiling while eating with his fingers. Bless his heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Paris, Fantine and her friends are on a triple date with Felix and his bros. They all run around and kiss and pee in the woods and eat a fancy meal together. All the while, the boys keep alluding to a big surprise they have in store. Finally, they leave the dining room to go get it, leaving the girls to guess what it could be (something pretty? gold necklaces? a vow of feminism?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, a waiter comes in with an envelope with \"This is the surprise\" written on it. The letter reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This was fun and all, but rich men don't marry poor whores. HA HA HA! Talk to you never!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110998\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/i-hate-men-kiss-me-kate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"568\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, ghosting Fantine and her friends like that earns them not just a brief animated gif but the entire song:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/aAk_QbaB5Ts'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/aAk_QbaB5Ts'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Rot in hell, Felix and friends!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of rude men, on a country road, Valjean steals a little boy's money and laughs about it. Then he hears the church bells from the distant town and remembers sweet, old, fork-less St. Woke Bishop. Valjean finally feels a sense of shame and tries barking after the robbed little boy, but it's too late. Valjean realizes how badly he needs to rehabilitate (and bathe) himself. For now, doing child's pose in the middle of the road will have to be enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-110999\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-1020x685.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"430\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-1020x685.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-160x107.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-800x537.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM-768x516.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/Screen-Shot-2019-04-12-at-11.21.20-PM.png 1048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Paris, Fantine returns home, broken-hearted, and a woman with a baby says, \"Here's \u003cem>maman\u003c/em>!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111000\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/shocked-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine and Felix have a baby together???? Things just got a whole lot more (les) miserable(s).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fantine takes her daughter upstairs and sobs, \"Oh, Cosette, whatever are we going to do now?\" Probably suffer a lot and then die while Felix is off somewhere enjoying bonbons!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Once more, with feeling:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110998\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/i-hate-men-kiss-me-kate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"568\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Felix And His Bros. \u003c/strong>Roll out the guillotine. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: All Those Dead Horses. \u003c/strong>I hope pony heaven is full of oats or whatever y'all are into. Miss you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Marius Pontmercy. \u003c/strong>A wine sommelier by the age of four? What a legend.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Fantine. \u003c/strong>Here's a silver lining to go with that silver medal: Brutal breakups lead to great breakup albums. Write your \u003cem>Jagged Little Pill\u003c/em>, sister!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: St. Woke Bishop\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Tied with Mister Rogers for Nicest Neighbor Ever. I can't wait to read his memoir.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Les Miserables\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a> or read my other \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps\">\u003ci>r\u003c/i>ecaps\u003c/a> (\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a> and—coming soon—\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "9 'Game Of Thrones' Intro Parodies To Tide You Over Until The Season 8 Premiere",
"title": "9 'Game Of Thrones' Intro Parodies To Tide You Over Until The Season 8 Premiere",
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"content": "\u003cp>There are two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 44 seconds to go before we finally get to feast our eyes on the final season of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> (check out \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/109935/game-of-thrones-every-omg-moment-from-the-season-8-trailer\">all the OMG moments from the trailer\u003c/a>, if you haven't already). We don't know much about what's about to befall Cersei and co., but one thing is for sure, the streets will be filled with cries of DAA DAAA DA DA DAA on premiere night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"522\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme.png 500w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme-160x167.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme-32x32.png 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">The dramatic, ever-changing \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> intro inspires a lot of feelings. And a lot of parodies too. Here are 11 riffs to tide you over until April 14, 2019.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Oreos!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmf-6TYjGuQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To announce a limited edition \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> batch of Oreos, Nabisco created an intro made entirely of cookies and cream. Mmmmm, cookies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Paper!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4EEQXO_Y38\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taking a page (har har) from Oreo's playbook, Moleskin created an intro, made entirely out of paper, to announce their collection of \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em>-themed notebooks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Yoda Pez Dispenser!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0ceNkb44Lk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This DIY \u003cem>Funny or Die\u003c/em> parody starts off normally enough. And then, as more and more \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> bros join the DAA DAAA DAA chorus, the Westeros map goes nuts, revealing non-canon locales such as an Apple store, a Yoda Pez dispenser and a DVD copy of \u003cem>We Bought A Zoo\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Hobbits!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AckMP3B1yQc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of traveling through Westeros? Get in, loser, we're going to Middle Earth!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>The Simpsons!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq_5UQry3T4\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If \u003cem>Lord of the Rings\u003c/em> isn't your thing, how about a field trip to Springfield instead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Social Media!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el8Ydwh0QlQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's hard to find a place more brutal than Westeros, but the world of social media comes pretty close.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Legos!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb9fybxt8B4\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I haven't seen \u003cem>The Lego Movie\u003c/em>, but if it's anything like this, I'm in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Pokémon!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3HEX9X5gNM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if this list wasn't geeky enough, here's a Pokémon intro for good measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Mario!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/eFSiiiFkvhM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Too old to care about Pokémon? Then, this \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> rendering of \u003cem>Super Mario World\u003c/em> is for you. Now I can't stop casting Mario characters into \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. Princess Peach is obviously Daenerys. Mario is Jon Snow. Bowser is Cersei. Yoshi is Arya. Ok, I'm going to stop now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Come back to this space for weekly recaps of \u003c/em>Game of Thrones\u003cem>, starting April 14, 2019!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Mario! Oreos! Yoda Pez Dispensers! There's a 'Game of Thrones' intro parody for whatever you're into.",
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"description": "Mario! Oreos! Yoda Pez Dispensers! There's a 'Game of Thrones' intro parody for whatever you're into.",
"title": "9 'Game Of Thrones' Intro Parodies To Tide You Over Until The Season 8 Premiere | KQED",
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"headline": "9 'Game Of Thrones' Intro Parodies To Tide You Over Until The Season 8 Premiere",
"datePublished": "2019-04-12T05:26:55-07:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>There are two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 44 seconds to go before we finally get to feast our eyes on the final season of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> (check out \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/109935/game-of-thrones-every-omg-moment-from-the-season-8-trailer\">all the OMG moments from the trailer\u003c/a>, if you haven't already). We don't know much about what's about to befall Cersei and co., but one thing is for sure, the streets will be filled with cries of DAA DAAA DA DA DAA on premiere night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"522\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme.png 500w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme-160x167.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/got-intro-meme-32x32.png 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">The dramatic, ever-changing \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> intro inspires a lot of feelings. And a lot of parodies too. Here are 11 riffs to tide you over until April 14, 2019.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Oreos!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/xmf-6TYjGuQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/xmf-6TYjGuQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>To announce a limited edition \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> batch of Oreos, Nabisco created an intro made entirely of cookies and cream. Mmmmm, cookies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Paper!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/w4EEQXO_Y38'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/w4EEQXO_Y38'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Taking a page (har har) from Oreo's playbook, Moleskin created an intro, made entirely out of paper, to announce their collection of \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em>-themed notebooks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Yoda Pez Dispenser!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/k0ceNkb44Lk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/k0ceNkb44Lk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>This DIY \u003cem>Funny or Die\u003c/em> parody starts off normally enough. And then, as more and more \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> bros join the DAA DAAA DAA chorus, the Westeros map goes nuts, revealing non-canon locales such as an Apple store, a Yoda Pez dispenser and a DVD copy of \u003cem>We Bought A Zoo\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Hobbits!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/AckMP3B1yQc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/AckMP3B1yQc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Sick of traveling through Westeros? Get in, loser, we're going to Middle Earth!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>The Simpsons!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qq_5UQry3T4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qq_5UQry3T4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>If \u003cem>Lord of the Rings\u003c/em> isn't your thing, how about a field trip to Springfield instead?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Social Media!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/el8Ydwh0QlQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/el8Ydwh0QlQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>It's hard to find a place more brutal than Westeros, but the world of social media comes pretty close.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Legos!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Mb9fybxt8B4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Mb9fybxt8B4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>I haven't seen \u003cem>The Lego Movie\u003c/em>, but if it's anything like this, I'm in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Pokémon!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/l3HEX9X5gNM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/l3HEX9X5gNM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>As if this list wasn't geeky enough, here's a Pokémon intro for good measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Mario!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/eFSiiiFkvhM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/eFSiiiFkvhM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Too old to care about Pokémon? Then, this \u003cem>GoT\u003c/em> rendering of \u003cem>Super Mario World\u003c/em> is for you. Now I can't stop casting Mario characters into \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. Princess Peach is obviously Daenerys. Mario is Jon Snow. Bowser is Cersei. Yoshi is Arya. Ok, I'm going to stop now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Come back to this space for weekly recaps of \u003c/em>Game of Thrones\u003cem>, starting April 14, 2019!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Most Explosive Secrets About 'The View' from 'Ladies Who Punch' Tell-All",
"title": "The Most Explosive Secrets About 'The View' from 'Ladies Who Punch' Tell-All",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>The View\u003c/em> has been a staple of my morning routine since Rosie O'Donnell joined the panel back in 2006 (although I did skip the Jenny McCarthy and Raven Symone years because yikes). So when I heard that there was an exposé-style book featuring interviews with almost every host in the show's history, I was practically dribbling drool down the front of my shirt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That book, Ramin Setoodeh's \u003cem>Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of The View\u003c/em>, came out a few days ago. I promptly devoured it, cover to cover. Need a visual of what that looked like? Here you go:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/1115339004176621580\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ladies Who Punch\u003c/em> turned out to be juicier than a summertime peach. If you have any interest in how \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> shaped daytime television as we know it, it's well worth the read. But, let's be real, you're here for the mess. Here are the book's wildest revelations:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Barbara Walters Isn't Afraid To Crack A Monica Lewinsky Joke (In Front Of Monica Lewinsky)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara Walters is known for being a very serious journalist, but that doesn't mean she doesn't also have a sense of humor. In 1998, Walters managed to snag the first sit-down interview with the most talked-about person in the country at that time: Monica Lewinsky. While at the Lewinsky family home, this happened, in Monica's words: \"My dad said I'd always been this good kid and never got into any trouble growing up—that I didn't do drugs or shoplift. Without missing a beat, Barbara quipped, 'Next time, shoplift.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Faye Dunaway \u003cem>Really\u003c/em> Likes Exercising and Napping\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Faye Dunaway agreed to appear on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, she had a few demands: a gym and a bed. The problem was that the studio didn't have either, but the producers weren't going to let a little technicality get in the way of a high-profile booking. \"We moved an office and we made a bedroom and an exercise room for one appearance,\" senior producer Mark Lipinski said. \"She was only there for a couple of hours.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Don't Even Think About Looking At Star Jones \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the show became a hit, some of the co-hosts let the fame get to their heads. Producers say they weren't allowed to make eye contact or speak to Star Jones. While filming at Disney World, Jones called up a publicist to complain about her hotel suite not overlooking the ocean. That's when she learned that Orlando is surrounded by land in all directions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Every Day Was 'Bring Your Kid To Work Day' At \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before her turn on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, Rosie O'Donnell ran a tight ship on her own daytime talk show, firing anyone who slipped up. But she also proved to be a compassionate boss, building a full day-care center in the studio so parents could bring their children to work every day, free of charge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Film Barbra Streisand On Her Good Side, Or Else\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To prepare for a visit from her childhood idol, Barbra Streisand, Rosie flipped the entire set of \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em> weeks in advance to showcase Streisand's preferred side without letting the audience find out the switch was due to the legend's vanity. When Ellen Degeneres didn't offer the same courtesy in 2017, Rosie was offended. \"I will never talk to Ellen again,\" she said. Rosie also sent the \u003cem>Ellen\u003c/em> executive producer a piece of her mind in the form of a terse email that simply read: \"Go to hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>In An Alternate Universe, Rosie and Oprah Are Co-Hosts\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the final years of \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em>, Rosie was feeling burnt out. And so was Oprah. They dreamed up a proposal that would merge their two talk shows, allowing each woman to take a half year off. The plan fell apart because different production companies owned each show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>In Another Alternate Universe, We're Tuning Into \u003cem>The Joy Behar Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another deal that fell through: When Rosie left her show in 2002, the studio wanted none other than \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>'s Joy Behar to take over. Joy decided to stick with her steady job but lived to regret it. \"I wish I had jumped in,\" Joy said. \"I think I would have done a pretty good job.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Be Careful What You Don't Wish For\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2002, when a documentary filmmaker asked where she thought she would be in ten years, Rosie joked, \"Probably a host on the f*cking \u003cem>View\u003c/em>! Can you imagine that?!\" She joined the show four years later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>A Blacklisted Whoopi Wanted A Seat At \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>'s Table\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2006, after Meredith Viera left \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, Whoopi Goldberg, who had just been blacklisted due to a pretty toothless joke about George W. Bush—\"I love bush. But someone is giving bush a bad name\"—lobbied for the moderator seat. But Barbara Walters already had her sights on Rosie O'Donnell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rosie and Barbara Go To War (Because Of Some Dude Named Donald Trump)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In January 2007, after Barbara refused to defend Rosie in a battle of words with Donald Trump, Rosie let Barbara have it backstage in front of senior and junior staff. Rosie allegedly yelled that Barbara was a bad mother, saying, \"No wonder Jackie [Barbara's daughter] can't stand you!\" That meant war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Don't Mess With Disney\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to the huge ratings Rosie brought in for \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> and Barbara's looming retirement\u003cem>,\u003c/em> there were behind-the-scenes talks to hand over the reins of the show completely to Rosie or greenlight her own show. But this all fell apart when, on air during a discussion of the \"war on terror,\" Rosie said, \"In America, we are fed propaganda. And if you want to know what's happening in the world, go outside of the US media, because it's owned by four corporations. One of them is this one.\" Execs at Disney, which owns ABC, were outraged and decided they were done with Rosie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rosie's Last Day Involved Fireworks And A Split-Screen\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosie's tenure at \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> came to a fiery conclusion with a blowout argument over the Iraq War with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Everything you need to know about that moment and its implications can be found in this piece:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/82832/how-rosie-odonnell-vs-elisabeth-hasselbeck-predicted-our-current-political-discourse\">https://www.kqed.org/pop/82832/how-rosie-odonnell-vs-elisabeth-hasselbeck-predicted-our-current-political-discourse\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Elisabeth Quits The Show During An Expletive-Filled Commercial Break\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This wasn't Elisabeth Hasselbeck's first on-air fight. After a heated discussion with Barbara Walters about the morning-after pill in 2006, an F-bomb-dropping Elisabeth walked off the set and quit the show. \"What the f--k?!,\" Hasselbeck yelled. \"I'm not going back out there! I don’t even swear. She has me swearing. This woman is driving me nuts! I’m not going back. I can’t do the show like this. She just reprimanded me, and she knew exactly what she was doing. Goodbye! I quit. I'm quitting. I’m off. Write about that in the New York F*cking Post!” She was eventually convinced to return to the couch for the rest of the episode and stayed on as co-host for another seven years. While reading this section of the book, I questioned whether this was an accurate description of what happened. The next day, the very real audio leaked. Enjoy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/Tp7OPB8VbJQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>With Friends Like These...\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After leaving the show, Rosie wrote a memoir called \u003cem>Celebrity Detox\u003c/em>, which included her thoughts about her time on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>. Barbara Walters leaked her copy to the \u003cem>New York Post\u003c/em> under the condition that they would write an article depicting Rosie as an unhinged villain struggling with serious mental health issues. Meanwhile, Walters pretended to take the high road, saying, \"Rosie has written a sad book, but I prefer to focus on the happier times we had and the happier times we hope to have in the future.\" Rosie never found out that Barbara was behind the \u003cem>NYP\u003c/em> article...until now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rachel Maddow Almost Didn't Happen\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another instance of behind-the-scenes sabotage allegedly occurred when Barbara Walters talked MSNBC execs out of moving forward with a political show starring Rosie. That time slot eventually went to Rachel Maddow. But Rosie isn't too hurt over that. \"I'm glad I didn't do it,\" she said. \"Watching Rachel Maddow to me is like taking a class at Harvard. She's so freaking smart that, half the time, I have to watch it twice to understand the totality of what she's saying.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Show Me The Money!\" Should Be Rosie's Catchphrase\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During negotiations to join \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, comedian Sherri Shepherd was in debt and worried about how small the studio's offer was. Enter Rosie O'Donnell, who coached Sherri through the negotiation process and ultimately helped her score a much better deal (a preliminary offer of one business-class plane ticket turned into eight first-class tickets, and the studio agreed to pay Sherri's rent—a whopping $85,000—for her first year). \"I was very thankful to Rosie for what she did for me,\" Sherri said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Barbara Is Not A Fan Of Katy Perry Or Jenny McCarthy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Jenny McCarthy joined the panel, her role was meant to center around pop culture. But this quickly shifted when Barbara didn't know any current celebrities, at one point saying the following about Katy Perry: \"Who is it that you're talking about and why are you bringing her up?\" To which Jenny answered, \"That's Katy Perry. You interviewed her last week!\" Another time, Barbara asked on air, \"Who is Jenny McCarthy?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Tampon-Gate\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jenny McCarthy shared that Barbara was unfairly focused on her, going so far as to inspect her clothing each day and order her to change outfits. Things took a turn for the absurd when a very upset Barbara approached Jenny, yelling at her in front of guests over... well, just read this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Barbara:\u003c/strong> \"Jenny, there's a tampon floating in the toilet and it's disgusting.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jenny:\u003c/strong> \"I don't have my period. It's not mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Barbara:\u003c/strong> \"Do something about it!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jenny decided not to yell back at her employer and instead sucked it up and went to flush the tampon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Selfie, The (Imaginary?) Vibrator\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara's unusual behavior continued. During a conversation about Valentine's Day, she blurted out that she owned a vibrator nicknamed Selfie. On a later episode, she issued a correction: \"I don't have a vibrator! I don't even put my cell phone on vibrate.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Mean Girls 2\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Barbara retired, Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd were unceremoniously fired and the show got a major makeover, with only Whoopi returning. Enter Rosie for round two, which went about as well as the last go-round. \"Whoopi Goldberg was as mean as anyone has ever been on television to me,\" Rosie said. \"Worse than Fox News. The worst experience I've ever had on live television was interacting with her.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Old Feuds Die Hard\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whoopi, who was recently eying an exit from \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, agreed to be interviewed for \u003cem>Ladies Who Punch\u003c/em>, only to change her mind and stick with the show. She has since allegedly let it be known that she hates the book cover because it features a rendering of her sitting next to Rosie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is so much more where all of this came from. Author Ramin Setoodeh wasn't lying in titling this book \"explosive.\" Me after reading:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/winona-ryder-heathers-explosion.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wanna feel the full \u003cem>Ladies Who Punch\u003c/em> blast? Head to your nearest library or bookstore!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Expletive-filled meltdowns. An imaginary vibrator. A freakout over a tampon. The secrets revealed by 'Ladies Who Punch' are juicier than a summertime peach.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>The View\u003c/em> has been a staple of my morning routine since Rosie O'Donnell joined the panel back in 2006 (although I did skip the Jenny McCarthy and Raven Symone years because yikes). So when I heard that there was an exposé-style book featuring interviews with almost every host in the show's history, I was practically dribbling drool down the front of my shirt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That book, Ramin Setoodeh's \u003cem>Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of The View\u003c/em>, came out a few days ago. I promptly devoured it, cover to cover. Need a visual of what that looked like? Here you go:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ladies Who Punch\u003c/em> turned out to be juicier than a summertime peach. If you have any interest in how \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> shaped daytime television as we know it, it's well worth the read. But, let's be real, you're here for the mess. Here are the book's wildest revelations:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Barbara Walters Isn't Afraid To Crack A Monica Lewinsky Joke (In Front Of Monica Lewinsky)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara Walters is known for being a very serious journalist, but that doesn't mean she doesn't also have a sense of humor. In 1998, Walters managed to snag the first sit-down interview with the most talked-about person in the country at that time: Monica Lewinsky. While at the Lewinsky family home, this happened, in Monica's words: \"My dad said I'd always been this good kid and never got into any trouble growing up—that I didn't do drugs or shoplift. Without missing a beat, Barbara quipped, 'Next time, shoplift.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Faye Dunaway \u003cem>Really\u003c/em> Likes Exercising and Napping\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Faye Dunaway agreed to appear on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, she had a few demands: a gym and a bed. The problem was that the studio didn't have either, but the producers weren't going to let a little technicality get in the way of a high-profile booking. \"We moved an office and we made a bedroom and an exercise room for one appearance,\" senior producer Mark Lipinski said. \"She was only there for a couple of hours.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Don't Even Think About Looking At Star Jones \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the show became a hit, some of the co-hosts let the fame get to their heads. Producers say they weren't allowed to make eye contact or speak to Star Jones. While filming at Disney World, Jones called up a publicist to complain about her hotel suite not overlooking the ocean. That's when she learned that Orlando is surrounded by land in all directions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Every Day Was 'Bring Your Kid To Work Day' At \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before her turn on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, Rosie O'Donnell ran a tight ship on her own daytime talk show, firing anyone who slipped up. But she also proved to be a compassionate boss, building a full day-care center in the studio so parents could bring their children to work every day, free of charge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Film Barbra Streisand On Her Good Side, Or Else\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To prepare for a visit from her childhood idol, Barbra Streisand, Rosie flipped the entire set of \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em> weeks in advance to showcase Streisand's preferred side without letting the audience find out the switch was due to the legend's vanity. When Ellen Degeneres didn't offer the same courtesy in 2017, Rosie was offended. \"I will never talk to Ellen again,\" she said. Rosie also sent the \u003cem>Ellen\u003c/em> executive producer a piece of her mind in the form of a terse email that simply read: \"Go to hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>In An Alternate Universe, Rosie and Oprah Are Co-Hosts\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the final years of \u003cem>The Rosie O'Donnell Show\u003c/em>, Rosie was feeling burnt out. And so was Oprah. They dreamed up a proposal that would merge their two talk shows, allowing each woman to take a half year off. The plan fell apart because different production companies owned each show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>In Another Alternate Universe, We're Tuning Into \u003cem>The Joy Behar Show\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another deal that fell through: When Rosie left her show in 2002, the studio wanted none other than \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>'s Joy Behar to take over. Joy decided to stick with her steady job but lived to regret it. \"I wish I had jumped in,\" Joy said. \"I think I would have done a pretty good job.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Be Careful What You Don't Wish For\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2002, when a documentary filmmaker asked where she thought she would be in ten years, Rosie joked, \"Probably a host on the f*cking \u003cem>View\u003c/em>! Can you imagine that?!\" She joined the show four years later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>A Blacklisted Whoopi Wanted A Seat At \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>'s Table\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 2006, after Meredith Viera left \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, Whoopi Goldberg, who had just been blacklisted due to a pretty toothless joke about George W. Bush—\"I love bush. But someone is giving bush a bad name\"—lobbied for the moderator seat. But Barbara Walters already had her sights on Rosie O'Donnell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rosie and Barbara Go To War (Because Of Some Dude Named Donald Trump)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In January 2007, after Barbara refused to defend Rosie in a battle of words with Donald Trump, Rosie let Barbara have it backstage in front of senior and junior staff. Rosie allegedly yelled that Barbara was a bad mother, saying, \"No wonder Jackie [Barbara's daughter] can't stand you!\" That meant war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Don't Mess With Disney\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to the huge ratings Rosie brought in for \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> and Barbara's looming retirement\u003cem>,\u003c/em> there were behind-the-scenes talks to hand over the reins of the show completely to Rosie or greenlight her own show. But this all fell apart when, on air during a discussion of the \"war on terror,\" Rosie said, \"In America, we are fed propaganda. And if you want to know what's happening in the world, go outside of the US media, because it's owned by four corporations. One of them is this one.\" Execs at Disney, which owns ABC, were outraged and decided they were done with Rosie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rosie's Last Day Involved Fireworks And A Split-Screen\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosie's tenure at \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> came to a fiery conclusion with a blowout argument over the Iraq War with Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Everything you need to know about that moment and its implications can be found in this piece:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/82832/how-rosie-odonnell-vs-elisabeth-hasselbeck-predicted-our-current-political-discourse\">https://www.kqed.org/pop/82832/how-rosie-odonnell-vs-elisabeth-hasselbeck-predicted-our-current-political-discourse\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Elisabeth Quits The Show During An Expletive-Filled Commercial Break\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This wasn't Elisabeth Hasselbeck's first on-air fight. After a heated discussion with Barbara Walters about the morning-after pill in 2006, an F-bomb-dropping Elisabeth walked off the set and quit the show. \"What the f--k?!,\" Hasselbeck yelled. \"I'm not going back out there! I don’t even swear. She has me swearing. This woman is driving me nuts! I’m not going back. I can’t do the show like this. She just reprimanded me, and she knew exactly what she was doing. Goodbye! I quit. I'm quitting. I’m off. Write about that in the New York F*cking Post!” She was eventually convinced to return to the couch for the rest of the episode and stayed on as co-host for another seven years. While reading this section of the book, I questioned whether this was an accurate description of what happened. The next day, the very real audio leaked. Enjoy!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Tp7OPB8VbJQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Tp7OPB8VbJQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>With Friends Like These...\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After leaving the show, Rosie wrote a memoir called \u003cem>Celebrity Detox\u003c/em>, which included her thoughts about her time on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>. Barbara Walters leaked her copy to the \u003cem>New York Post\u003c/em> under the condition that they would write an article depicting Rosie as an unhinged villain struggling with serious mental health issues. Meanwhile, Walters pretended to take the high road, saying, \"Rosie has written a sad book, but I prefer to focus on the happier times we had and the happier times we hope to have in the future.\" Rosie never found out that Barbara was behind the \u003cem>NYP\u003c/em> article...until now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Rachel Maddow Almost Didn't Happen\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another instance of behind-the-scenes sabotage allegedly occurred when Barbara Walters talked MSNBC execs out of moving forward with a political show starring Rosie. That time slot eventually went to Rachel Maddow. But Rosie isn't too hurt over that. \"I'm glad I didn't do it,\" she said. \"Watching Rachel Maddow to me is like taking a class at Harvard. She's so freaking smart that, half the time, I have to watch it twice to understand the totality of what she's saying.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>\"Show Me The Money!\" Should Be Rosie's Catchphrase\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During negotiations to join \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, comedian Sherri Shepherd was in debt and worried about how small the studio's offer was. Enter Rosie O'Donnell, who coached Sherri through the negotiation process and ultimately helped her score a much better deal (a preliminary offer of one business-class plane ticket turned into eight first-class tickets, and the studio agreed to pay Sherri's rent—a whopping $85,000—for her first year). \"I was very thankful to Rosie for what she did for me,\" Sherri said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Barbara Is Not A Fan Of Katy Perry Or Jenny McCarthy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Jenny McCarthy joined the panel, her role was meant to center around pop culture. But this quickly shifted when Barbara didn't know any current celebrities, at one point saying the following about Katy Perry: \"Who is it that you're talking about and why are you bringing her up?\" To which Jenny answered, \"That's Katy Perry. You interviewed her last week!\" Another time, Barbara asked on air, \"Who is Jenny McCarthy?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Tampon-Gate\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jenny McCarthy shared that Barbara was unfairly focused on her, going so far as to inspect her clothing each day and order her to change outfits. Things took a turn for the absurd when a very upset Barbara approached Jenny, yelling at her in front of guests over... well, just read this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Barbara:\u003c/strong> \"Jenny, there's a tampon floating in the toilet and it's disgusting.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jenny:\u003c/strong> \"I don't have my period. It's not mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Barbara:\u003c/strong> \"Do something about it!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jenny decided not to yell back at her employer and instead sucked it up and went to flush the tampon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Selfie, The (Imaginary?) Vibrator\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Barbara's unusual behavior continued. During a conversation about Valentine's Day, she blurted out that she owned a vibrator nicknamed Selfie. On a later episode, she issued a correction: \"I don't have a vibrator! I don't even put my cell phone on vibrate.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Mean Girls 2\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Barbara retired, Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd were unceremoniously fired and the show got a major makeover, with only Whoopi returning. Enter Rosie for round two, which went about as well as the last go-round. \"Whoopi Goldberg was as mean as anyone has ever been on television to me,\" Rosie said. \"Worse than Fox News. The worst experience I've ever had on live television was interacting with her.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Old Feuds Die Hard\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whoopi, who was recently eying an exit from \u003cem>The View\u003c/em>, agreed to be interviewed for \u003cem>Ladies Who Punch\u003c/em>, only to change her mind and stick with the show. She has since allegedly let it be known that she hates the book cover because it features a rendering of her sitting next to Rosie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is so much more where all of this came from. Author Ramin Setoodeh wasn't lying in titling this book \"explosive.\" Me after reading:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-110938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/winona-ryder-heathers-explosion.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Which Characters Will Lose The 'Game Of Thrones?': A Chronicle Of Many Deaths Foretold",
"title": "Which Characters Will Lose The 'Game Of Thrones?': A Chronicle Of Many Deaths Foretold",
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"content": "\u003cp>\"When you play the game of thrones,\" Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) told Ned Stark (Sean Bean) icily—but of course she says \u003cem>everything \u003c/em>icily—\"you win ... or you die.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Foreshadowing? To say the least. More like fiveshadowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she said that to him way back in the seventh episode of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>' very first season. It was May 2011, years before the show would become the inescapable international phenomenon it has, and two episodes before it would set itself firmly down the path to becoming just that, by killing off its nominal main hero, Ned Stark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since that time, over the course of seven seasons, Cersei has been proven exactly right, again and again. There's been some small amount of winning, here and there, but just really a \u003cem>tremendous lot\u003c/em> of dying—characters big and small, both the beloved and the benighted, have been poisoned, beheaded, slashed, gashed, stabbed, devoured by hounds, hurled from parapets, immolated, head-squished, pincushioned by arrows and—in one case—even died of old age, if you can imagine anything so grotesque.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that we're entering the home stretch—just six episodes left, which will clock in at an estimated seven hours and twenty minutes, total—all the series' disparate storylines are crashing together, which can be depended upon to send its body count soaring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So let's make some predictions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Read: Wild guesses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These predictions are \u003cstrong>not \u003c/strong>based on anything but gut instinct. Nothing remotely spoilery lurks beneath them. Not knowledge gleaned from a close reading of the books, or from leaked on-set scuttlebutt, or anything, really, but a recent re-watch—and a reasonable understanding of how narrative arcs generally play out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's take the likely deaths in piecemeal fashion, because they tend to slot into discrete categories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Noble Sacrificers:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters whose storylines seem most likely to end with a big, bold act of selflessness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jorah Mormont\u003c/strong> — Here's a guy whose whole grizzled, whispery, mustard-shirted schtick revolves around sacrificing himself for Daenerys. It's just who he is. He may have started off the series as a mole in her camp, but the show's dragged him through a lengthy redemption arc that's involved saving her life repeatedly, suffering ignoble exile and one particularly nasty case of fantasy eczema. He'll go down fighting, but he'll go down.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jaime Lannister\u003c/strong> — He's come a long way, baby, and though from a story perspective it feels like he needs to see Cersei one last time before he dies, I suspect his end will come sooner. Maybe he ends up saving the life of Bran, the kid he sent plummeting from a tower? Nah, that's too tidy, but I don't see the Kingslayer making it out of season eight alive.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Brienne of Tarth\u003c/strong> — A beloved character, whose entire being is dedicated to honor, nobility and goodness. On \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. No, yeah, she's doomed.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Theon Greyjoy\u003c/strong> — Another character whose long, grisly redemption storyline is finally over, which is great. Not so great: That means there's nothing left for him to do, dramatically, but to die saving his sister Yara.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Davos Seaworth \u003c/strong>— Look, I hope he makes it. And there's a good chance he might, better than anyone else in this category. After all, he's not a fighter, he's the kind of character the show seems to favor—the loyal, canny, good-hearted advisor. But there are big battles coming.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Grey Worm \u003c/strong>— He's a soldier. In war, soldiers die. And for the producers to really sell the tremendous human cost of the battles to come, they'll need to show us more than hordes of faceless Unsullied and Dothraki getting mowed down. They'll need to put a face on it—and show us Missandei, grieving his loss.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Bran Stark \u003c/strong>— Not sure about this one. But Bran's spent the last couple seasons as a living, breathing Encylopedia Westerosi, imparting crucial information for the other characters to act on. There doesn't seem to be a lot left for him to reveal. And the fact that he was marked by the Night King bodes, you know, just all \u003cem>kinds \u003c/em>of ill.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Gendry \u003c/strong>— Admit it, it would be \u003cem>just \u003c/em>like this show to bring Gendry back after so long away, throw him into battle and have him like trip on a rock and die. He's Robert Baratheon's son, after all.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Deaths Foretold:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters who've been set up—either by in-show prophecy, or just the simple, implacable demands of storytelling—to \u003cem>totally \u003c/em>eat it, at some point in season eight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Melisandre\u003c/strong> — She said it herself. She's coming back to Westeros to die. Take the woman at her word.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Varys \u003c/strong>— You too, Big V, I'm afraid. Melisandre said your number would come up, too, and this show wants us to place a great deal of stock in its mystic pronouncements. I just hope we find out what that mysterious voice was that Varys said he heard from the flames on the day he was made a eunuch. It's come up twice, over the course of the series, and actor Conleth Hill made a meal of it, both times, so let's hope it pays off. (I do not think it will pay off.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Arya Stark\u003c/strong> — This one's controversial, because there's no in-continuity prophecy about Arya dying—there's just, you know, the show. The producers want us to thrill at Arya's badassery, but also wring our hands over her lethal, ruthless nature. I'm calling it: At some crucial moment she'll be forced to choose between crossing a name off her list—a big one (Cersei?), or choosing mercy. She'll choose the list, dooming herself. But she'll look great while she does so.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Beric Dondarrion\u003c/strong> — He's been brought back for a purpose, we are assured. That purpose has got to be destroying the Night King. Once that mission is over, so is he.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jon Snow\u003c/strong> — I know, I know, one true heir to the Iron Throne, etc. etc. Doesn't matter. It's the Dondarrion rule: He's been brought back for a purpose and he'll accomplish that purpose. It'd be great if he could then retire to the Summer Islands with whatever the Lotus Port equivalent of a mai-tai might be, but that's not how this works, that's not how any of this works.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Just Deserts:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the series' most hissable remaining villains; rest assured, not a one of them is gonna make it. Sure, the show's allowed their cruelty to thrive for multiple seasons, in most cases—but here at the end, justice has to find them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Night King\u003c/strong> — He's a force of nature, he's blue-eyed soullessness, he's Death itself, sporting a bunch of teensy ice-cowlicks. More importantly, as we learned last season, killing him means killing every White Walker, and by extension, every wight, instantly. That's ... tidy. The show wouldn't have built that failsafe mechanism unless it intended to use it.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Queen Cersei*\u003c/strong> — She doesn't seem the sort to surrender amicably, and the show's not about to let her. She's done too much, she's gone too far. Winter (maybe Arya!) is coming for her. (That asterisk by her name refers to the fact that Cersei is also a proud member of Deaths Foretold category, as she was also the subject of a death-prophecy. So she's gonna get \u003cem>twice \u003c/em>as killed as everyone else.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Mountain \u003c/strong>— Cleganebowl will see everyone's favorite reanimated corpse (non-wight variety) going down.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Qyburn\u003c/strong> — This guy's exactly the sort of creepy toady the series will delight in preparing a particularly nasty demise for.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Euron Greyjoy\u003c/strong> — This cartoonishly cruel, one-note, bargain-basement pirate—Captain Jackass Sparrow—will go \u003cem>down\u003c/em>, and go down \u003cem>hard\u003c/em>. Probably at the hands of Yara. And it won't be nearly as surprising as the show wants it to be, because he's not so much a nuanced, believable villain as a plot device in guy-liner and leather pants.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Stakes-Raisers:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I dearly hope everyone in this category makes it through. I'd like to think the series will rise above the pernicious tendency to kill or abuse secondary characters (usually women) in order to inspire hero characters (usually men) into taking action. I'd like to think it won't happen. But then, I've seen the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Gilly \u003c/strong>— Part of me thinks they wouldn't dare, because it's such a hack, obvious, tired cliche. But if they (wrongly) think they need to justify Sam leaping into heroic action, Gilly's a goner.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Missandei \u003c/strong>— Similarly, Missandei's the kind of character—smart, kind, gentle, warm—that could all too easily get fed into the sausage grinder of the show's producers, if they want to give us a sequence of an outraged Grey Worm rallying the troops. (Note: Either Grey Worm or Missandei will die—not both. One must remain alive to have us register the loss.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Podrick \u003c/strong>— If they want Tyrion or Brienne to get their vengeance on, they'll kill off Pod.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Safe As (Westeros) Houses:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters who will make it through, bloodied, beaten but unbowed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Tyrion Lannister\u003c/strong> — Don't get me wrong, it would be \u003cem>just \u003c/em>like GRRM to off his most identifiable character (and most identifiable-\u003cem>with \u003c/em>character, if you're one of his legions of \"bookish-nerd-who-can't-fight\" readers) at the last possible second, just when victory is at hand. But I see Tyrion making it through, barely. He's coming off two seasons as a pretty lousy strategic adviser, so let's close off \u003cem>that \u003c/em>career path. Maybe he'll get that vineyard he always wanted.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Samwell Tarly \u003c/strong>— Well \u003cem>someone\u003c/em>'s got to stick around to write \u003cem>A Song of Ice and Fire\u003c/em> (see above, re: characters with whom the author and his readers most closely identify). He dropped out of maester school, and, what, he's gonna go back to Castle Black to be a Watcher On The Rubble? I don't think so. After last season's Friar's Club Roast of his father and older brother (more like \"Fryer's Club Roast\" good night Cleveland) the family seat at Horn Hill is ... kind of super super open.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Daenerys Targaryen\u003c/strong> — It's what the series has been setting us up for, all along: Young woman comes into her power, learns how to wield it with wisdom, compassion and restraint (or else what the hell was that interminable Meereen business for?), experiences huge losses, and ultimately assumes her rightful place. (Forget Jon Snow—his status as the \"true heir\" means he would simply continue the cycle, and that's not how the show will send us out.) And yes, on one level, Daenerys assuming the Iron Throne would also represent a return to the status quo. Except it won't—all those references to how she wants to \"break the wheel,\" to say nothing of the fact that the Wall is down, means that there won't be any status quo to return to. There also likely won't be an Iron Throne on which to sit. (Dragon fire forged the Iron Throne in the first place—fitting if it also destroyed it, once and for all.) I'd love for the show to legitimately surprise us, and having Dany assume power in some new, unlooked-for way would do that.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Bronn\u003c/strong> — There are survivors, and then there are cockroaches. Bronn would find some way to survive, even if the Night King won—he'd wrap himself in rotting entrails and stagger around going \"Argh, argh, got any mead argh, argh, argh.\" This guy rolls with any punch; he'll be fine.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Sansa Stark \u003c/strong>— In the books, she's an ancillary character, but the show's made her central, and put her through hell. She'll make it. She \u003cem>better\u003c/em>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Lyanna Mormont\u003c/strong> — After forcing us to watch Shireen Baratheon go up in flames, I suspect the show's appetite for killing young women—especially fan favorites like the bluntly badass Lady of Bear Island—has been sated.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Yara Greyjoy \u003c/strong>— She'll assume her rightful place as the Queen of the Iron Islands, having kicked her worthless Uncle Euron to the briny curb.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Hound\u003c/strong> — Tough call. He could very likely die in Cleganebowl, because he's already been through a whole \"almost dies, turns away from violence, whoops, nope, just kidding HACK SLASH KILL\" arc. Doubtful they'd do that again. They've put in so much work supplying him with added layers over and above his need for revenge, I hope they'll let him live to explore them.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>There you have it. Again, wild guesses, all. I'll be recapping this final season of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> here at \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/arts/\">\u003cem>NPR.org\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, so we'll have six opportunities to bask in my wrongness. I'll write them overnight, so check for them on Monday mornings, first thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No okay yeah now that I think about it let's move Davos to the Safe category.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\"> NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Which+Characters+Will+Lose+The+%27Game+Of+Thrones%3F%27%3A+A+Chronicle+Of+Many+Deaths+Foretold&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Just 6 episodes—an estimated 7 hours and 20 minutes—remain. Here are our predictions for which characters will (and especially won't) make it through to the end of the final season—and why. ",
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"description": "Just 6 episodes—an estimated 7 hours and 20 minutes—remain. Here are our predictions for which characters will (and especially won't) make it through to the end of the final season—and why. ",
"title": "Which Characters Will Lose The 'Game Of Thrones?': A Chronicle Of Many Deaths Foretold | KQED",
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"headline": "Which Characters Will Lose The 'Game Of Thrones?': A Chronicle Of Many Deaths Foretold",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\"When you play the game of thrones,\" Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) told Ned Stark (Sean Bean) icily—but of course she says \u003cem>everything \u003c/em>icily—\"you win ... or you die.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Foreshadowing? To say the least. More like fiveshadowing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because she said that to him way back in the seventh episode of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>' very first season. It was May 2011, years before the show would become the inescapable international phenomenon it has, and two episodes before it would set itself firmly down the path to becoming just that, by killing off its nominal main hero, Ned Stark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since that time, over the course of seven seasons, Cersei has been proven exactly right, again and again. There's been some small amount of winning, here and there, but just really a \u003cem>tremendous lot\u003c/em> of dying—characters big and small, both the beloved and the benighted, have been poisoned, beheaded, slashed, gashed, stabbed, devoured by hounds, hurled from parapets, immolated, head-squished, pincushioned by arrows and—in one case—even died of old age, if you can imagine anything so grotesque.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that we're entering the home stretch—just six episodes left, which will clock in at an estimated seven hours and twenty minutes, total—all the series' disparate storylines are crashing together, which can be depended upon to send its body count soaring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So let's make some predictions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Read: Wild guesses.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These predictions are \u003cstrong>not \u003c/strong>based on anything but gut instinct. Nothing remotely spoilery lurks beneath them. Not knowledge gleaned from a close reading of the books, or from leaked on-set scuttlebutt, or anything, really, but a recent re-watch—and a reasonable understanding of how narrative arcs generally play out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's take the likely deaths in piecemeal fashion, because they tend to slot into discrete categories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Noble Sacrificers:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters whose storylines seem most likely to end with a big, bold act of selflessness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jorah Mormont\u003c/strong> — Here's a guy whose whole grizzled, whispery, mustard-shirted schtick revolves around sacrificing himself for Daenerys. It's just who he is. He may have started off the series as a mole in her camp, but the show's dragged him through a lengthy redemption arc that's involved saving her life repeatedly, suffering ignoble exile and one particularly nasty case of fantasy eczema. He'll go down fighting, but he'll go down.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jaime Lannister\u003c/strong> — He's come a long way, baby, and though from a story perspective it feels like he needs to see Cersei one last time before he dies, I suspect his end will come sooner. Maybe he ends up saving the life of Bran, the kid he sent plummeting from a tower? Nah, that's too tidy, but I don't see the Kingslayer making it out of season eight alive.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Brienne of Tarth\u003c/strong> — A beloved character, whose entire being is dedicated to honor, nobility and goodness. On \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>. No, yeah, she's doomed.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Theon Greyjoy\u003c/strong> — Another character whose long, grisly redemption storyline is finally over, which is great. Not so great: That means there's nothing left for him to do, dramatically, but to die saving his sister Yara.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Davos Seaworth \u003c/strong>— Look, I hope he makes it. And there's a good chance he might, better than anyone else in this category. After all, he's not a fighter, he's the kind of character the show seems to favor—the loyal, canny, good-hearted advisor. But there are big battles coming.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Grey Worm \u003c/strong>— He's a soldier. In war, soldiers die. And for the producers to really sell the tremendous human cost of the battles to come, they'll need to show us more than hordes of faceless Unsullied and Dothraki getting mowed down. They'll need to put a face on it—and show us Missandei, grieving his loss.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Bran Stark \u003c/strong>— Not sure about this one. But Bran's spent the last couple seasons as a living, breathing Encylopedia Westerosi, imparting crucial information for the other characters to act on. There doesn't seem to be a lot left for him to reveal. And the fact that he was marked by the Night King bodes, you know, just all \u003cem>kinds \u003c/em>of ill.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Gendry \u003c/strong>— Admit it, it would be \u003cem>just \u003c/em>like this show to bring Gendry back after so long away, throw him into battle and have him like trip on a rock and die. He's Robert Baratheon's son, after all.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Deaths Foretold:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters who've been set up—either by in-show prophecy, or just the simple, implacable demands of storytelling—to \u003cem>totally \u003c/em>eat it, at some point in season eight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Melisandre\u003c/strong> — She said it herself. She's coming back to Westeros to die. Take the woman at her word.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Varys \u003c/strong>— You too, Big V, I'm afraid. Melisandre said your number would come up, too, and this show wants us to place a great deal of stock in its mystic pronouncements. I just hope we find out what that mysterious voice was that Varys said he heard from the flames on the day he was made a eunuch. It's come up twice, over the course of the series, and actor Conleth Hill made a meal of it, both times, so let's hope it pays off. (I do not think it will pay off.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Arya Stark\u003c/strong> — This one's controversial, because there's no in-continuity prophecy about Arya dying—there's just, you know, the show. The producers want us to thrill at Arya's badassery, but also wring our hands over her lethal, ruthless nature. I'm calling it: At some crucial moment she'll be forced to choose between crossing a name off her list—a big one (Cersei?), or choosing mercy. She'll choose the list, dooming herself. But she'll look great while she does so.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Beric Dondarrion\u003c/strong> — He's been brought back for a purpose, we are assured. That purpose has got to be destroying the Night King. Once that mission is over, so is he.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Jon Snow\u003c/strong> — I know, I know, one true heir to the Iron Throne, etc. etc. Doesn't matter. It's the Dondarrion rule: He's been brought back for a purpose and he'll accomplish that purpose. It'd be great if he could then retire to the Summer Islands with whatever the Lotus Port equivalent of a mai-tai might be, but that's not how this works, that's not how any of this works.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Just Deserts:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the series' most hissable remaining villains; rest assured, not a one of them is gonna make it. Sure, the show's allowed their cruelty to thrive for multiple seasons, in most cases—but here at the end, justice has to find them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Night King\u003c/strong> — He's a force of nature, he's blue-eyed soullessness, he's Death itself, sporting a bunch of teensy ice-cowlicks. More importantly, as we learned last season, killing him means killing every White Walker, and by extension, every wight, instantly. That's ... tidy. The show wouldn't have built that failsafe mechanism unless it intended to use it.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Queen Cersei*\u003c/strong> — She doesn't seem the sort to surrender amicably, and the show's not about to let her. She's done too much, she's gone too far. Winter (maybe Arya!) is coming for her. (That asterisk by her name refers to the fact that Cersei is also a proud member of Deaths Foretold category, as she was also the subject of a death-prophecy. So she's gonna get \u003cem>twice \u003c/em>as killed as everyone else.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Mountain \u003c/strong>— Cleganebowl will see everyone's favorite reanimated corpse (non-wight variety) going down.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Qyburn\u003c/strong> — This guy's exactly the sort of creepy toady the series will delight in preparing a particularly nasty demise for.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Euron Greyjoy\u003c/strong> — This cartoonishly cruel, one-note, bargain-basement pirate—Captain Jackass Sparrow—will go \u003cem>down\u003c/em>, and go down \u003cem>hard\u003c/em>. Probably at the hands of Yara. And it won't be nearly as surprising as the show wants it to be, because he's not so much a nuanced, believable villain as a plot device in guy-liner and leather pants.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Stakes-Raisers:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I dearly hope everyone in this category makes it through. I'd like to think the series will rise above the pernicious tendency to kill or abuse secondary characters (usually women) in order to inspire hero characters (usually men) into taking action. I'd like to think it won't happen. But then, I've seen the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Gilly \u003c/strong>— Part of me thinks they wouldn't dare, because it's such a hack, obvious, tired cliche. But if they (wrongly) think they need to justify Sam leaping into heroic action, Gilly's a goner.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Missandei \u003c/strong>— Similarly, Missandei's the kind of character—smart, kind, gentle, warm—that could all too easily get fed into the sausage grinder of the show's producers, if they want to give us a sequence of an outraged Grey Worm rallying the troops. (Note: Either Grey Worm or Missandei will die—not both. One must remain alive to have us register the loss.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Podrick \u003c/strong>— If they want Tyrion or Brienne to get their vengeance on, they'll kill off Pod.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The Safe As (Westeros) Houses:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are the characters who will make it through, bloodied, beaten but unbowed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Tyrion Lannister\u003c/strong> — Don't get me wrong, it would be \u003cem>just \u003c/em>like GRRM to off his most identifiable character (and most identifiable-\u003cem>with \u003c/em>character, if you're one of his legions of \"bookish-nerd-who-can't-fight\" readers) at the last possible second, just when victory is at hand. But I see Tyrion making it through, barely. He's coming off two seasons as a pretty lousy strategic adviser, so let's close off \u003cem>that \u003c/em>career path. Maybe he'll get that vineyard he always wanted.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Samwell Tarly \u003c/strong>— Well \u003cem>someone\u003c/em>'s got to stick around to write \u003cem>A Song of Ice and Fire\u003c/em> (see above, re: characters with whom the author and his readers most closely identify). He dropped out of maester school, and, what, he's gonna go back to Castle Black to be a Watcher On The Rubble? I don't think so. After last season's Friar's Club Roast of his father and older brother (more like \"Fryer's Club Roast\" good night Cleveland) the family seat at Horn Hill is ... kind of super super open.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Daenerys Targaryen\u003c/strong> — It's what the series has been setting us up for, all along: Young woman comes into her power, learns how to wield it with wisdom, compassion and restraint (or else what the hell was that interminable Meereen business for?), experiences huge losses, and ultimately assumes her rightful place. (Forget Jon Snow—his status as the \"true heir\" means he would simply continue the cycle, and that's not how the show will send us out.) And yes, on one level, Daenerys assuming the Iron Throne would also represent a return to the status quo. Except it won't—all those references to how she wants to \"break the wheel,\" to say nothing of the fact that the Wall is down, means that there won't be any status quo to return to. There also likely won't be an Iron Throne on which to sit. (Dragon fire forged the Iron Throne in the first place—fitting if it also destroyed it, once and for all.) I'd love for the show to legitimately surprise us, and having Dany assume power in some new, unlooked-for way would do that.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Bronn\u003c/strong> — There are survivors, and then there are cockroaches. Bronn would find some way to survive, even if the Night King won—he'd wrap himself in rotting entrails and stagger around going \"Argh, argh, got any mead argh, argh, argh.\" This guy rolls with any punch; he'll be fine.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Sansa Stark \u003c/strong>— In the books, she's an ancillary character, but the show's made her central, and put her through hell. She'll make it. She \u003cem>better\u003c/em>.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Lyanna Mormont\u003c/strong> — After forcing us to watch Shireen Baratheon go up in flames, I suspect the show's appetite for killing young women—especially fan favorites like the bluntly badass Lady of Bear Island—has been sated.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Yara Greyjoy \u003c/strong>— She'll assume her rightful place as the Queen of the Iron Islands, having kicked her worthless Uncle Euron to the briny curb.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>The Hound\u003c/strong> — Tough call. He could very likely die in Cleganebowl, because he's already been through a whole \"almost dies, turns away from violence, whoops, nope, just kidding HACK SLASH KILL\" arc. Doubtful they'd do that again. They've put in so much work supplying him with added layers over and above his need for revenge, I hope they'll let him live to explore them.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>There you have it. Again, wild guesses, all. I'll be recapping this final season of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> here at \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/arts/\">\u003cem>NPR.org\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, so we'll have six opportunities to bask in my wrongness. I'll write them overnight, so check for them on Monday mornings, first thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No okay yeah now that I think about it let's move Davos to the Safe category.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\"> NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Which+Characters+Will+Lose+The+%27Game+Of+Thrones%3F%27%3A+A+Chronicle+Of+Many+Deaths+Foretold&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Magic Is Real In Brie Larson's Charming 'Unicorn Store'",
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"content": "\u003cp>\"Bringing a unicorn here is not an easy or inexpensive endeavor. You have to be the right sort of girl.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The right sort of girl. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The backbone of Brie Larson's offbeat directorial debut, the comedy \u003cem>Unicorn Store\u003c/em>, is the idea of what it means to be the right sort of girl. Larson plays Kit, a woman pushing 30 who lives with her parents and favors an aesthetic heavy on rainbows, glitter and—yes—unicorns. And after she receives a couple of mysterious magical letters, she finds herself in the company of a man who calls himself The Salesman (Samuel L. Jackson). He's the one who says these words, who tells her that she's in line for a unicorn of her own. But she has to earn it. She has to be stable. She has to make a home for it. She has to be an adult, ironically, to be the right companion for a unicorn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_51UsTDBAE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not everyone finds Kit's eccentricities appealing, to say the least. She flunks out of art school after completing an exuberant self-portrait at which her teacher silently frowns. This sends Kit into a tailspin, and she resolves to change herself. She will not dress in rainbow colors, she will not use glitter, and she will be serious at all times as she undertakes a career as an office temp at a marketing agency. Larson's portrayal of Kit cosplaying as an adult is funny and weird in just the right way, and of course, \u003cem>of course\u003c/em>, this phase can't last. Because she gets that note. And she begins to long for that unicorn. But how does she prove she's the right sort of girl, and how does she make a life in the real world while being someone who can convince a magic man with tinsel in his hair that she should own a unicorn?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tasked with building her potential unicorn a place to call home, Kit meets up with a hardware store employee named Virgil. Virgil is played by the fabulous Mamoudou Athie, who played Grandmaster Flash in \u003cem>The Get Down\u003c/em>, starred opposite Elizabeth Olsen in the Facebook Watch show \u003cem>Sorry For Your Loss\u003c/em>, and appeared in \u003cem>Patti Cake$\u003c/em>. He's a disarmingly naturalistic actor who has never for a moment seemed less than utterly believable, and here, he brings a crucial grounding to the story. As Virgil and Kit get closer, Athie has a very hard line to walk. If Virgil seems too credulous of what sound like Kit's fanciful ideas, then the risk of her placing her trust in him will be deflated, but if he seems too dismissive or patronizing, he will be ruined, an obviously unsuitable partner for a woman who will probably always believe some things that sound a little ... weird. There is a scene in which Virgil's fondness for Kit collides with some of the things she says and believes about unicorns, and Athie's face silently tells a whole story in which you can see his own longing to meet someone and the clash of his rational brain and his more whimsical feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-110812 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's worth noting and quite conspicuous, I think, that Samuel L. Jackson here is playing a person who's magical, and he is black, so it's easy to see connections between this role and the dreaded \"Magical Negro\" trope. I'm certainly not in a position to adjudicate how the film handles that for everyone. But in this case, the role seems particularly right for Jackson, who is playing against type as a literal unicorn salesman. It doesn't feel like a generic role or a generic performance. The kind of funny it is to see Jackson in these scenes wouldn't be the same with \u003cem>anyone\u003c/em> else, partly because of a persona he has cultivated. Jackson and Larson had also worked together in \u003cem>Kong: Skull Island \u003c/em>and would again in \u003cem>Captain Marvel\u003c/em>, so it may be as simple as a chemistry that proved durable. Moreover, tropes of this kind are often accompanied by a failure to cast black actors in \u003cem>other\u003c/em>, non-magical roles in the story, which isn't the case here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait! We haven't even talked about the fact that Kit's long-suffering parents are played by Bradley Whitford and Joan Cusack! If only every pair of long-suffering parents were played by those two. Between them and the Julia Sweeney/Daniel Stern pairing in \u003cem>Shrill\u003c/em>, we've rarely had such good choices when it comes to imperfect moms and dads. As with Annie in \u003cem>Shrill\u003c/em>, Kit is given dimension and allowed grace throughout the story of her very imperfect but sturdy family connections.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_110813\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-110813\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Brie Larson and Mamoudou Athie see some interesting stuff (and she wears some pretty great outfits) in 'Unicorn Store.'\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-768x576.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Brie Larson and Mamoudou Athie see some interesting stuff (and she wears some pretty great outfits) in 'Unicorn Store.' \u003ccite>(Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>This is not a movie for everyone. Kit is what a \u003ca href=\"https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManicPixieDreamGirl\">Manic Pixie Dream Girl\u003c/a> would be like if the story were actually about her, if her quirks and energy and flights of fancy mostly affected her life, not someone else's. Her style, for sure, is what a lot of people would refer to as \"twee,\" and that's if they felt generous. It's the kind of thing, particularly from an adult woman, that can carry the stink of affectation, of a persona adopted to seek attention with whimsy. It is Larson's performance and Samantha McIntyre's script that make it clear that no, this is really Kit. This is really her heart, and this is what makes her happy. For a unicorn, she's precisely the right sort of girl. So why does she feel like she needs to change?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's worth noting that out of all the women's empowerment narratives about style that are currently popular, ones that emphasize freedom to be aggressively girly are surprisingly rare. Not punky-girly, and not pop-diva-girly, and not pinup-girly, but ... sparkle-rainbow girly. Not for the purposes of performance, but just because that's a person's source of joy. That's what makes her feel like herself, the same way other women might adopt goth or punk or androgynous or retro styles. It's interesting to see a film dare you to dismiss this as simply a style that's too annoying for a person to have. \u003cem>If I can wear army boots\u003c/em>, it asks, \u003cem>why can't I walk through glitter until it covers the bottoms of my feet? Why can't my self-portrait be a rainbow? Why can't I love confetti the way someone might love burning incense? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Unicorn Store \u003c/em>is weird and funny, sweet and fearless, and it's another opportunity to see a fine young actress at work. Furthermore, Athie is one of the best young romantic comedy leads currently working (catch him in \u003cem>Jean of the Joneses \u003c/em>as well if it ever comes around), and who doesn't need more chances to see Samuel L. Jackson in brightly colored suits?\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Brie+Larson%27s+Directorial+Debut+Glitters+With+The+Charming+%27Unicorn+Store%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\"Bringing a unicorn here is not an easy or inexpensive endeavor. You have to be the right sort of girl.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The right sort of girl. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The backbone of Brie Larson's offbeat directorial debut, the comedy \u003cem>Unicorn Store\u003c/em>, is the idea of what it means to be the right sort of girl. Larson plays Kit, a woman pushing 30 who lives with her parents and favors an aesthetic heavy on rainbows, glitter and—yes—unicorns. And after she receives a couple of mysterious magical letters, she finds herself in the company of a man who calls himself The Salesman (Samuel L. Jackson). He's the one who says these words, who tells her that she's in line for a unicorn of her own. But she has to earn it. She has to be stable. She has to make a home for it. She has to be an adult, ironically, to be the right companion for a unicorn.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/r_51UsTDBAE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/r_51UsTDBAE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Not everyone finds Kit's eccentricities appealing, to say the least. She flunks out of art school after completing an exuberant self-portrait at which her teacher silently frowns. This sends Kit into a tailspin, and she resolves to change herself. She will not dress in rainbow colors, she will not use glitter, and she will be serious at all times as she undertakes a career as an office temp at a marketing agency. Larson's portrayal of Kit cosplaying as an adult is funny and weird in just the right way, and of course, \u003cem>of course\u003c/em>, this phase can't last. Because she gets that note. And she begins to long for that unicorn. But how does she prove she's the right sort of girl, and how does she make a life in the real world while being someone who can convince a magic man with tinsel in his hair that she should own a unicorn?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tasked with building her potential unicorn a place to call home, Kit meets up with a hardware store employee named Virgil. Virgil is played by the fabulous Mamoudou Athie, who played Grandmaster Flash in \u003cem>The Get Down\u003c/em>, starred opposite Elizabeth Olsen in the Facebook Watch show \u003cem>Sorry For Your Loss\u003c/em>, and appeared in \u003cem>Patti Cake$\u003c/em>. He's a disarmingly naturalistic actor who has never for a moment seemed less than utterly believable, and here, he brings a crucial grounding to the story. As Virgil and Kit get closer, Athie has a very hard line to walk. If Virgil seems too credulous of what sound like Kit's fanciful ideas, then the risk of her placing her trust in him will be deflated, but if he seems too dismissive or patronizing, he will be ruined, an obviously unsuitable partner for a woman who will probably always believe some things that sound a little ... weird. There is a scene in which Virgil's fondness for Kit collides with some of the things she says and believes about unicorns, and Athie's face silently tells a whole story in which you can see his own longing to meet someone and the clash of his rational brain and his more whimsical feelings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-110812 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1200x675.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00008_wide-74dc9c949c9567b9f28e342d67efe38e4d9bbfbc.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's worth noting and quite conspicuous, I think, that Samuel L. Jackson here is playing a person who's magical, and he is black, so it's easy to see connections between this role and the dreaded \"Magical Negro\" trope. I'm certainly not in a position to adjudicate how the film handles that for everyone. But in this case, the role seems particularly right for Jackson, who is playing against type as a literal unicorn salesman. It doesn't feel like a generic role or a generic performance. The kind of funny it is to see Jackson in these scenes wouldn't be the same with \u003cem>anyone\u003c/em> else, partly because of a persona he has cultivated. Jackson and Larson had also worked together in \u003cem>Kong: Skull Island \u003c/em>and would again in \u003cem>Captain Marvel\u003c/em>, so it may be as simple as a chemistry that proved durable. Moreover, tropes of this kind are often accompanied by a failure to cast black actors in \u003cem>other\u003c/em>, non-magical roles in the story, which isn't the case here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait! We haven't even talked about the fact that Kit's long-suffering parents are played by Bradley Whitford and Joan Cusack! If only every pair of long-suffering parents were played by those two. Between them and the Julia Sweeney/Daniel Stern pairing in \u003cem>Shrill\u003c/em>, we've rarely had such good choices when it comes to imperfect moms and dads. As with Annie in \u003cem>Shrill\u003c/em>, Kit is given dimension and allowed grace throughout the story of her very imperfect but sturdy family connections.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_110813\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-110813\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-800x600.jpg\" alt=\"Brie Larson and Mamoudou Athie see some interesting stuff (and she wears some pretty great outfits) in 'Unicorn Store.'\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-800x600.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-768x576.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1020x765.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1200x900.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2019/04/unicorn_store_ff_00012-be8be89445979dfb923d5d7388e15ae0762a7067.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Brie Larson and Mamoudou Athie see some interesting stuff (and she wears some pretty great outfits) in 'Unicorn Store.' \u003ccite>(Netflix)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>This is not a movie for everyone. Kit is what a \u003ca href=\"https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManicPixieDreamGirl\">Manic Pixie Dream Girl\u003c/a> would be like if the story were actually about her, if her quirks and energy and flights of fancy mostly affected her life, not someone else's. Her style, for sure, is what a lot of people would refer to as \"twee,\" and that's if they felt generous. It's the kind of thing, particularly from an adult woman, that can carry the stink of affectation, of a persona adopted to seek attention with whimsy. It is Larson's performance and Samantha McIntyre's script that make it clear that no, this is really Kit. This is really her heart, and this is what makes her happy. For a unicorn, she's precisely the right sort of girl. So why does she feel like she needs to change?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's worth noting that out of all the women's empowerment narratives about style that are currently popular, ones that emphasize freedom to be aggressively girly are surprisingly rare. Not punky-girly, and not pop-diva-girly, and not pinup-girly, but ... sparkle-rainbow girly. Not for the purposes of performance, but just because that's a person's source of joy. That's what makes her feel like herself, the same way other women might adopt goth or punk or androgynous or retro styles. It's interesting to see a film dare you to dismiss this as simply a style that's too annoying for a person to have. \u003cem>If I can wear army boots\u003c/em>, it asks, \u003cem>why can't I walk through glitter until it covers the bottoms of my feet? Why can't my self-portrait be a rainbow? Why can't I love confetti the way someone might love burning incense? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Unicorn Store \u003c/em>is weird and funny, sweet and fearless, and it's another opportunity to see a fine young actress at work. Furthermore, Athie is one of the best young romantic comedy leads currently working (catch him in \u003cem>Jean of the Joneses \u003c/em>as well if it ever comes around), and who doesn't need more chances to see Samuel L. Jackson in brightly colored suits?\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Brie+Larson%27s+Directorial+Debut+Glitters+With+The+Charming+%27Unicorn+Store%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Controversial 1940 Novel 'Native Son' Gets Updated For New HBO Adaptation",
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"content": "\u003cp>In the classic 1940 novel \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, 20-year-old Bigger Thomas dreams of a life beyond his impoverished Chicago neighborhood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As in the book, the new \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> movie begins with Bigger killing a huge rat in his house, where he lives with his siblings and their single mother. His troubles accelerate after he gets hired as a driver for the Daltons, a wealthy white family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghfwH5jWTbc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this time, the story is set in contemporary times. The new retelling of \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/authors/138112310/richard-wright\">Richard Wright\u003c/a>'s novel debuts on HBO this Saturday, April 6. Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/12/05/368640540/suzan-lori-parks-new-play-father-comes-home-from-the-wars\">Suzan-Lori Parks\u003c/a> wrote the screenplay. And the adaptation was directed by artist Rashid Johnson.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ashton Sanders, who was in the Oscar-winning movie \u003cem>Moonlight\u003c/em>, plays Bigger. In this version, he sports green hair and a graffiti-covered leather jacket. On set, Sanders explained Bigger is into both punk music and Beethoven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Along with the pressures of being a black man in this America, he's also dealing with the pressures of being this \u003cem>other\u003c/em> other in America—being this Afro-punk and dealing with his circumstances and his environment,\" Sanders says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bigger is tasked with driving Mr. Dalton's wild-child daughter Mary (Margaret Qualley). Mary rebels against her privilege and impetuously tries to connect with Bigger. Mr. Dalton (Bill Camp) may fancy himself as a liberal, but Mary and her boyfriend Jan (Nick Robinson) fashion themselves as political radicals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the movie's premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in January, writer Suzan-Lori Parks talked about how she updated their story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"In the original novel, Jan was a member of the Communist Party,\" Parks says. \"So the Communist Party these days is not the same kind of party as it was back in the day. So immediately I said: Well we've got some parties that are also relevant, like Occupy or the anti-fascist movement, that a young person might want to join in that might cause some consternation in the hearts and minds of progressive wealthy parents.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are a few other changes. In Wright's bestselling novel, Bigger was a rapist and a murderer—portrayed as a victim or product of his environment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That characterization has been controversial. Novelist James Baldwin once wrote a critique: In his 1955 book \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/titles/340182684/notes-of-a-native-son\">\u003cem>Notes of a Native Son\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Baldwin blasted Bigger's portrayal as stereotypical and unsympathetic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> remains popular. Over the years, it's been adapted for stage, and also made into a movie twice. Author Richard Wright himself played Bigger Thomas in the 1951 movie. (\u003ca href=\"https://vimeo.com/22026727\">Here he is doing his screen test\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The character Bigger Thomas still resonates, says Ashton Sanders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's always been rough for a black man living in America,\" Sanders says. \"You know, there's always pressures that are put on us. You know, I feel like the black man walks around with an anxiety because of the way that America views him, the world views him, you know? And so yeah, it's still very relevant, because this is still kind of the same America.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At his film's Sundance premiere, director Rashid Johnson explains why he thinks Wright's book is timely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"His story \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>—however divisive—is an incredibly complicated telling of how we're to examine some aspects of the black psyche,\" Johnson says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson also examines the black psyche in his artwork, which has been shown at major museums and galleries around the world. Just before he took off to direct \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, he had an art opening at the David Kordansky Gallery in Los Angeles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a packed house and featured live music, poetry, paintings and sculpture. His work explores cultural identity and race. He mixes media: shea butter, potted plants, stacks of books, vinyl records.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Visitor Kidogo Kennedy pondered \u003ca href=\"http://www.drawingcenter.org/en/drawingcenter/5/exhibitions/9/upcoming/1129/rashid-johnson-anxious-men/\">one of Johnson's recurring images\u003c/a>, a square, black skull scribbled with big, swirly eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It reminds me: This is Bigger,\" she says. \"That's who I'm looking at when I look at these grimaces and eyes that are bulging. I think of him, I think of \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, I think of Bigger.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few weeks later, Johnson was on location in Cleveland, Ohio shooting \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>. Before the cameras rolled on one scene, he spray-painted a similar skull image on a brick wall—one iteration of the characters he calls Anxious Men.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I just kind of put it in the background,\" he says. \"I think this film has quite a bit of moments of anxiety, and alludes to the idea of anxiety and how it functions in our characters, as well as in society as a whole.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the wall of an alley for another scene, Johnson spray-painted the word \"Run\"—another theme he uses in his artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The idea of escape has been thematically a big part of my practice,\" he says. \"And so it also lives in this film, as far as how Bigger is negotiating with what he's done. And the idea of running and escape I think are also strong themes that live in this film and in my work simultaneously.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That is, he put a little bit of himself into the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think it's hard not to,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson's 7-year-old son Julius makes a cameo in one scene. And gallery owner David Kordansky plays a record store owner in the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson has made short films before, for commissions at the Guggenheim and the Garage Museum of Contemporary Art in Moscow. But \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> is his debut as a feature film director.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"This dialogue, this is not easy, this part,\" he says. He quotes one of Bigger's lines from the screenplay. \"Thank God I am not acting in this movie.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, Rashid Johnson seems at ease directing the actors—quite the opposite of an anxious man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Nina Gregory edited this story for broadcast.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Native+Son%27+Is+Reborn%2C+In+%27Still+Kind+Of+The+Same+America%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In the classic 1940 novel \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, 20-year-old Bigger Thomas dreams of a life beyond his impoverished Chicago neighborhood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As in the book, the new \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> movie begins with Bigger killing a huge rat in his house, where he lives with his siblings and their single mother. His troubles accelerate after he gets hired as a driver for the Daltons, a wealthy white family.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ghfwH5jWTbc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ghfwH5jWTbc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>But this time, the story is set in contemporary times. The new retelling of \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/authors/138112310/richard-wright\">Richard Wright\u003c/a>'s novel debuts on HBO this Saturday, April 6. Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2014/12/05/368640540/suzan-lori-parks-new-play-father-comes-home-from-the-wars\">Suzan-Lori Parks\u003c/a> wrote the screenplay. And the adaptation was directed by artist Rashid Johnson.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ashton Sanders, who was in the Oscar-winning movie \u003cem>Moonlight\u003c/em>, plays Bigger. In this version, he sports green hair and a graffiti-covered leather jacket. On set, Sanders explained Bigger is into both punk music and Beethoven.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Along with the pressures of being a black man in this America, he's also dealing with the pressures of being this \u003cem>other\u003c/em> other in America—being this Afro-punk and dealing with his circumstances and his environment,\" Sanders says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bigger is tasked with driving Mr. Dalton's wild-child daughter Mary (Margaret Qualley). Mary rebels against her privilege and impetuously tries to connect with Bigger. Mr. Dalton (Bill Camp) may fancy himself as a liberal, but Mary and her boyfriend Jan (Nick Robinson) fashion themselves as political radicals.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the movie's premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in January, writer Suzan-Lori Parks talked about how she updated their story.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"In the original novel, Jan was a member of the Communist Party,\" Parks says. \"So the Communist Party these days is not the same kind of party as it was back in the day. So immediately I said: Well we've got some parties that are also relevant, like Occupy or the anti-fascist movement, that a young person might want to join in that might cause some consternation in the hearts and minds of progressive wealthy parents.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are a few other changes. In Wright's bestselling novel, Bigger was a rapist and a murderer—portrayed as a victim or product of his environment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That characterization has been controversial. Novelist James Baldwin once wrote a critique: In his 1955 book \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/titles/340182684/notes-of-a-native-son\">\u003cem>Notes of a Native Son\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Baldwin blasted Bigger's portrayal as stereotypical and unsympathetic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> remains popular. Over the years, it's been adapted for stage, and also made into a movie twice. Author Richard Wright himself played Bigger Thomas in the 1951 movie. (\u003ca href=\"https://vimeo.com/22026727\">Here he is doing his screen test\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The character Bigger Thomas still resonates, says Ashton Sanders.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's always been rough for a black man living in America,\" Sanders says. \"You know, there's always pressures that are put on us. You know, I feel like the black man walks around with an anxiety because of the way that America views him, the world views him, you know? And so yeah, it's still very relevant, because this is still kind of the same America.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At his film's Sundance premiere, director Rashid Johnson explains why he thinks Wright's book is timely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"His story \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>—however divisive—is an incredibly complicated telling of how we're to examine some aspects of the black psyche,\" Johnson says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson also examines the black psyche in his artwork, which has been shown at major museums and galleries around the world. Just before he took off to direct \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, he had an art opening at the David Kordansky Gallery in Los Angeles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was a packed house and featured live music, poetry, paintings and sculpture. His work explores cultural identity and race. He mixes media: shea butter, potted plants, stacks of books, vinyl records.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Visitor Kidogo Kennedy pondered \u003ca href=\"http://www.drawingcenter.org/en/drawingcenter/5/exhibitions/9/upcoming/1129/rashid-johnson-anxious-men/\">one of Johnson's recurring images\u003c/a>, a square, black skull scribbled with big, swirly eyes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It reminds me: This is Bigger,\" she says. \"That's who I'm looking at when I look at these grimaces and eyes that are bulging. I think of him, I think of \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>, I think of Bigger.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few weeks later, Johnson was on location in Cleveland, Ohio shooting \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em>. Before the cameras rolled on one scene, he spray-painted a similar skull image on a brick wall—one iteration of the characters he calls Anxious Men.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I just kind of put it in the background,\" he says. \"I think this film has quite a bit of moments of anxiety, and alludes to the idea of anxiety and how it functions in our characters, as well as in society as a whole.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the wall of an alley for another scene, Johnson spray-painted the word \"Run\"—another theme he uses in his artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The idea of escape has been thematically a big part of my practice,\" he says. \"And so it also lives in this film, as far as how Bigger is negotiating with what he's done. And the idea of running and escape I think are also strong themes that live in this film and in my work simultaneously.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That is, he put a little bit of himself into the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think it's hard not to,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson's 7-year-old son Julius makes a cameo in one scene. And gallery owner David Kordansky plays a record store owner in the film.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Johnson has made short films before, for commissions at the Guggenheim and the Garage Museum of Contemporary Art in Moscow. But \u003cem>Native Son\u003c/em> is his debut as a feature film director.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"This dialogue, this is not easy, this part,\" he says. He quotes one of Bigger's lines from the screenplay. \"Thank God I am not acting in this movie.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, Rashid Johnson seems at ease directing the actors—quite the opposite of an anxious man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Nina Gregory edited this story for broadcast.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org\">NPR.org\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Native+Son%27+Is+Reborn%2C+In+%27Still+Kind+Of+The+Same+America%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"soldout": {
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"title": "SOLD OUT: Rethinking Housing in America",
"tagline": "A new future for housing",
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"tagline": "True-life supernatural stories",
"info": "",
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