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"content": "\u003cp>Have you been overwhelmed by the time it takes to track down all the gif-able moments from each week's \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> to use in your texts? Are you scared of that span of time after this coming Wednesday when there are no more \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> episodes for a while? Well, Comedy Central has the solution to both of those problems. Behold: the \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> Keyboard! It's all here: from Abbi's alter ego, Val, to Ilana's white power suit. Let us count the ways in which you'll be able to make use of this novel invention:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend asks you to help them move:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_n1culcHfyW1qa601io1_250.gif\" alt=\"abbi rolls away broad city\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15597\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_n1culcHfyW1qa601io4_r1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n1culcHfyW1qa601io4_r1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you need someone to help you pick which selfie to Instagram:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15585\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkd1lctkC81qb9pa3o1_500.gif\" alt=\"broad city selfie\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you need to let everyone know that it's pay day:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15578\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso1_400.gif\" alt=\"broad city\" width=\"360\" height=\"188\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso1_400.gif 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso1_400-320x167.gif 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15579\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso2_400.gif\" alt=\"broad city 2\" width=\"360\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso2_400.gif 360w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso2_400-320x165.gif 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you finally let that acquaintance who always flakes on you have it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-15581\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl0fv1OUFx1r8tg38o2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl0fv1OUFx1r8tg38o2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you're almost ready:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15584\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkpw3hCXqZ1qiaxzfo3_250.gif\" alt=\"broad city lipstick\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you're on your way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15586\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkyutiYaPG1r632smo1_500.gif\" alt=\"broad city yas\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend is like \"\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErcoXvcTLeU\">Get in, loser, we're going shopping\u003c/a>\":\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15583\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl2z7ngJWV1svyk7po1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl2z7ngJWV1svyk7po1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"310\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you need to let someone know you don't give a...:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15591\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl3zd6Mrjb1rec0mso1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl3zd6Mrjb1rec0mso1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your crush texts and you're trying to keep it cool:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15590\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkwte0uSel1qb4og5o1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkwte0uSel1qb4og5o1_250\" width=\"200\" height=\"185\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend asks you to go to karaoke:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15589\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkkaejlaNJ1u4urxno1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkkaejlaNJ1u4urxno1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When complaining about how you have nothing to eat at home and hate grocery shopping:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15588\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkyd4oyBr11qdrbygo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkyd4oyBr11qdrbygo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend says they'll bring you food:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15580\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq70at88E1qiaxzfo4_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkq70at88E1qiaxzfo4_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When someone doesn't text you back:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15582\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl2sycUQ8h1qm2uhao2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl2sycUQ8h1qm2uhao2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you find out there's a \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> keyboard app:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15592\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nktpm0SfQ11rb2b3po1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nktpm0SfQ11rb2b3po1_400\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, you get the idea. Now get to texting! All your friends are going to wait by the phone for your messages now...or ignore you cause you inspired them to rewatch the show from the beginning. Either way, the world is a better place with this keyboard in it. \u003ca href=\"http://www.cc.com/shows/broad-city/keyboard\">Download the app now\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq3r9UUaB1syafwso2_400-320x165.gif 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you finally let that acquaintance who always flakes on you have it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-15581\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl0fv1OUFx1r8tg38o2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl0fv1OUFx1r8tg38o2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you're almost ready:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15584\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkpw3hCXqZ1qiaxzfo3_250.gif\" alt=\"broad city lipstick\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you're on your way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15586\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkyutiYaPG1r632smo1_500.gif\" alt=\"broad city yas\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend is like \"\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErcoXvcTLeU\">Get in, loser, we're going shopping\u003c/a>\":\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15583\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl2z7ngJWV1svyk7po1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl2z7ngJWV1svyk7po1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"310\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you need to let someone know you don't give a...:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15591\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl3zd6Mrjb1rec0mso1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl3zd6Mrjb1rec0mso1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your crush texts and you're trying to keep it cool:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15590\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkwte0uSel1qb4og5o1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkwte0uSel1qb4og5o1_250\" width=\"200\" height=\"185\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend asks you to go to karaoke:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15589\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkkaejlaNJ1u4urxno1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkkaejlaNJ1u4urxno1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When complaining about how you have nothing to eat at home and hate grocery shopping:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15588\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkyd4oyBr11qdrbygo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkyd4oyBr11qdrbygo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When your friend says they'll bring you food:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15580\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nkq70at88E1qiaxzfo4_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nkq70at88E1qiaxzfo4_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When someone doesn't text you back:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15582\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nl2sycUQ8h1qm2uhao2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nl2sycUQ8h1qm2uhao2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When you find out there's a \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> keyboard app:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15592\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_nktpm0SfQ11rb2b3po1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nktpm0SfQ11rb2b3po1_400\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, you get the idea. Now get to texting! All your friends are going to wait by the phone for your messages now...or ignore you cause you inspired them to rewatch the show from the beginning. Either way, the world is a better place with this keyboard in it. \u003ca href=\"http://www.cc.com/shows/broad-city/keyboard\">Download the app now\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Outraged By The Bachelorette's New Twist? The Producers Are Banking On It",
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"content": "\u003cp>Certain things make me believe we're already living in more of a dystopia than any fiction could ever dream up for us. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is one of those things. Oh, how I thought I was done writing about this pop culture side note. Yet, it appears that it's not done with me. I thought I'd escaped its shiny clutches when I stopped watching Andi's season halfway through, and didn't even watch the finale of Chris's season. I was so proud of myself! Yet, news travels fast, and I'm spellbound again by this latest twist: Britt and Kaitlyn have both received the dubious honor of being the next bachelorette (not entirely unprecedented, as there were two simultaneous bachelors circa 2006).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm always surprised when people \u003ca href=\"http://www.salon.com/2015/03/10/the_bachelors_sexism_has_finally_gone_too_far_and_viewers_are_right_to_be_pissed/\">critique\u003c/a> \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. It's too easy, isn't it? What we ought to marvel at is how any of it exists at all; it's so irrelevant, uncool, unsuccessful in its mission, predictable, repetitive, sexist, and so forth. Yet, year after year, it airs. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is immortal. Nothing will kill it. People watch it ironically, perhaps, but they watch it nonetheless. They have watching parties. They tweet about it and write of it in \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/05/21/is-andi-dorfman-a-new-kind-of-bachelorette/all-that-the-bachelorette-inspires-is-nausea\">serious news outlets\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why? I have theories. In part, surely there is some cognitive dissonance among us as we marvel at how this show happened at all, let alone continues to happen for 29 seasons. But I also think it gives us a chance to broadly and wildly psychoanalyze (ourselves, others, our entire culture). To admit or hide, compare or contrast our own romantic proclivities, personalities, and desires. We're not like those girls. We're not that guy. We don't want to quit our jobs, live on a farm, and have babies. Unless we secretly do. Or unless we totally don't and somehow feel a lot more clever and wise than those who want the opposite of what we want. It's during our viewings of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> that our contradictions battle within us. It's far more gory than a guilty pleasure. It's satire, nightmare, and fairy tale.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The internet is riled up about this latest news of dueling bachelorettes. It's misogyny! As if the show isn't already horrifically rife with that. When I first saw the red and gold promotional image, the two pretty girls going head to head, I thought of gladiator battles, of \u003cem>1984\u003c/em>, and of \u003cem>The Hunger Games\u003c/em>. I thought about it as \u003cem>real\u003c/em>, for a moment, not as a reality show. What if these women fought to the actual death?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Diane Ackerman's \u003ca href=\"http://www.dianeackerman.com/a-natural-history-of-the-senses-by-diane-ackerman\">\u003cem>A Natural History of the Senses\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>,\u003c/em> she writes about an ancient ritual where a young couple was crushed under a ceremoniously constructed house and then eaten in order to celebrate the cycles of life. What if the new \u003cem>Bachelorette\u003c/em> season played out like that, a true life and death ritual acknowledging (celebrating?) the state of our current times? Only one of these women, after all, is worthy of being that most coveted of things: a wife!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These shows are most compelling when the rules break down. When \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/05/27/how-the-death-of-a-bachelorette-contestant-is-dismantling-the-fairy-tale-of-reality-tv-eric-hill-andi-dorfman/\">one of the men dies in real life\u003c/a> because he existed there most of all. When one of the front runners disqualifies himself because the whole thing is too weird. Even Britt, despite her extraneous make-up, had moments of being \u003cem>real\u003c/em> real, not reality show real. Even much-loathed Juan Pablo, who refused to fall in love, was nearly interesting. Those break-downs, the admissions of humanity or truth (often accidental, often just a glimmer), are where the fascination lies. That those moments cannot be squelched entirely in the death grip of this franchise is somehow thrilling. I watch in the hopes that one day the world won't need this show, and nor will I, that it will chip away bit by bit, making space for something else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bottom line is, \u003cem>Who cares?\u003c/em> And the answer is that most people don't. But all this ridiculousness has me hypnotized. In a world saturated with tasteless media, celebrity distractions, and a zillion television shows, \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Bachelorette\u003c/em> still stand apart. Both old fashioned and gratuitous simultaneously, they strike a note that no other reality show does (even its own spin-off, \u003cem>Bachelor in Paradise,\u003c/em> can't quite find the same anachronistic surreal tone). On \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, the Playboy pin-up really wants to be a wife too (or instead?)! Both retro and trashy, the show champions a 1950s sense of domestic life, where women quit their jobs to have babies, and yet, after the bride is chosen, the outcome is usually far more contemporary. For example, Chris and Whitney are currently in LA for his\u003cem> Dancing with the Stars\u003c/em> stint. They aren't on the farm quite yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Being infuriated and confounded by all of this is what the show does to us because we ask it to. We engage. The diabolical cleverness is that our outrage is why we love it. Energy is energy and we devote ours to these courtships, over and over again. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is simply a mirror held to each of our downfalls. The logic of the show is our own worst logic as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, one person is chosen, and it's their destiny to exist in this place, a world disconcertingly similar to ours in many ways. The social structures often seem ridiculous, and yet we can't shake their familiarity. There is often an upsetting conclusion to these dystopian stories. Partly because we can't help but believe them to reflect some larger truth of our lives. Partly because they often also reveal the death of some essential part of our own humanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Till next time, when we will all gather round the collapsing house to watch as two girls fight to the death.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Certain things make me believe we're already living in more of a dystopia than any fiction could ever dream up for us. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is one of those things. Oh, how I thought I was done writing about this pop culture side note. Yet, it appears that it's not done with me. I thought I'd escaped its shiny clutches when I stopped watching Andi's season halfway through, and didn't even watch the finale of Chris's season. I was so proud of myself! Yet, news travels fast, and I'm spellbound again by this latest twist: Britt and Kaitlyn have both received the dubious honor of being the next bachelorette (not entirely unprecedented, as there were two simultaneous bachelors circa 2006).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm always surprised when people \u003ca href=\"http://www.salon.com/2015/03/10/the_bachelors_sexism_has_finally_gone_too_far_and_viewers_are_right_to_be_pissed/\">critique\u003c/a> \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. It's too easy, isn't it? What we ought to marvel at is how any of it exists at all; it's so irrelevant, uncool, unsuccessful in its mission, predictable, repetitive, sexist, and so forth. Yet, year after year, it airs. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is immortal. Nothing will kill it. People watch it ironically, perhaps, but they watch it nonetheless. They have watching parties. They tweet about it and write of it in \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/05/21/is-andi-dorfman-a-new-kind-of-bachelorette/all-that-the-bachelorette-inspires-is-nausea\">serious news outlets\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Why? I have theories. In part, surely there is some cognitive dissonance among us as we marvel at how this show happened at all, let alone continues to happen for 29 seasons. But I also think it gives us a chance to broadly and wildly psychoanalyze (ourselves, others, our entire culture). To admit or hide, compare or contrast our own romantic proclivities, personalities, and desires. We're not like those girls. We're not that guy. We don't want to quit our jobs, live on a farm, and have babies. Unless we secretly do. Or unless we totally don't and somehow feel a lot more clever and wise than those who want the opposite of what we want. It's during our viewings of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> that our contradictions battle within us. It's far more gory than a guilty pleasure. It's satire, nightmare, and fairy tale.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The internet is riled up about this latest news of dueling bachelorettes. It's misogyny! As if the show isn't already horrifically rife with that. When I first saw the red and gold promotional image, the two pretty girls going head to head, I thought of gladiator battles, of \u003cem>1984\u003c/em>, and of \u003cem>The Hunger Games\u003c/em>. I thought about it as \u003cem>real\u003c/em>, for a moment, not as a reality show. What if these women fought to the actual death?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Diane Ackerman's \u003ca href=\"http://www.dianeackerman.com/a-natural-history-of-the-senses-by-diane-ackerman\">\u003cem>A Natural History of the Senses\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>,\u003c/em> she writes about an ancient ritual where a young couple was crushed under a ceremoniously constructed house and then eaten in order to celebrate the cycles of life. What if the new \u003cem>Bachelorette\u003c/em> season played out like that, a true life and death ritual acknowledging (celebrating?) the state of our current times? Only one of these women, after all, is worthy of being that most coveted of things: a wife!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These shows are most compelling when the rules break down. When \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/05/27/how-the-death-of-a-bachelorette-contestant-is-dismantling-the-fairy-tale-of-reality-tv-eric-hill-andi-dorfman/\">one of the men dies in real life\u003c/a> because he existed there most of all. When one of the front runners disqualifies himself because the whole thing is too weird. Even Britt, despite her extraneous make-up, had moments of being \u003cem>real\u003c/em> real, not reality show real. Even much-loathed Juan Pablo, who refused to fall in love, was nearly interesting. Those break-downs, the admissions of humanity or truth (often accidental, often just a glimmer), are where the fascination lies. That those moments cannot be squelched entirely in the death grip of this franchise is somehow thrilling. I watch in the hopes that one day the world won't need this show, and nor will I, that it will chip away bit by bit, making space for something else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bottom line is, \u003cem>Who cares?\u003c/em> And the answer is that most people don't. But all this ridiculousness has me hypnotized. In a world saturated with tasteless media, celebrity distractions, and a zillion television shows, \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Bachelorette\u003c/em> still stand apart. Both old fashioned and gratuitous simultaneously, they strike a note that no other reality show does (even its own spin-off, \u003cem>Bachelor in Paradise,\u003c/em> can't quite find the same anachronistic surreal tone). On \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, the Playboy pin-up really wants to be a wife too (or instead?)! Both retro and trashy, the show champions a 1950s sense of domestic life, where women quit their jobs to have babies, and yet, after the bride is chosen, the outcome is usually far more contemporary. For example, Chris and Whitney are currently in LA for his\u003cem> Dancing with the Stars\u003c/em> stint. They aren't on the farm quite yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Being infuriated and confounded by all of this is what the show does to us because we ask it to. We engage. The diabolical cleverness is that our outrage is why we love it. Energy is energy and we devote ours to these courtships, over and over again. \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is simply a mirror held to each of our downfalls. The logic of the show is our own worst logic as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, one person is chosen, and it's their destiny to exist in this place, a world disconcertingly similar to ours in many ways. The social structures often seem ridiculous, and yet we can't shake their familiarity. There is often an upsetting conclusion to these dystopian stories. Partly because we can't help but believe them to reflect some larger truth of our lives. Partly because they often also reveal the death of some essential part of our own humanity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Till next time, when we will all gather round the collapsing house to watch as two girls fight to the death.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "8 of the Strongest Feminist Role Models from TV History",
"title": "8 of the Strongest Feminist Role Models from TV History",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In second grade, I was once mistaken for a kindergartener because I was ”just so short and delicate.” As a girl who cut the lace off her socks, who ran just as fast as the boys, and who spent most of her free time climbing trees, that comment really bothered me. A few years later, I was equally furious when my male swim coach told my friends that I was too weak to roll up the heavy pool cover by myself and that they should always help me. (For the record, I cranked that pool cover in every morning by myself after that for almost 10 years.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a result of moments like these, I knew early on that I wanted to be three things when I grew older: a teacher, a writer, and a feminist. Of course, I didn’t actually know the term ”feminist” when I was little, but I knew what it meant — a strong, confident, and capable woman who doesn’t let anyone stop her when she has a goal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While I’ve been fortunate enough to have a lot of female role models in my life, some of the best were ones I saw on TV. From Russian Planeteers to Army Nurses to bad-ass detectives, here are just a few women that helped turn me into the feminist I am today:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Linka of \u003cem>Captain Planet and the Planeteers\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15458\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 480px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-15458\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: TBS\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1.jpg 480w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1-320x240.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: TBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Linka was my first feminist role model. Not only did she have an awesome accent, having grown up in the former Soviet Union, Linka had the power to corral the wind, thanks to her planeteer ring. I spent a lot of happy hours as a kid pretending to be Linka when my friends and I would play Planeteers. But the best part of being Linka was the fact that she often told off the brash, fire-wielding Brooklyn-born Planeteer, Wheeler, in hilarious ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Major Margaret \"Hot Lips\" Houlihan from \u003cem>M*A*S*H\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15457\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15457\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-800x500.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: CBS\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-800x500.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-400x250.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-1180x738.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-768x480.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-320x200.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr.jpg 1240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: CBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A lot happened to this head army nurse over the span of the Korean War. As a dedicated fan of the show, it was inspiring to see Margaret grow in confidence after dumping “ferret face” Major Frank Burns, divorcing her wavering Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscot, and becoming her own woman who doesn’t have to rely on favors from “old family friends” to help her career advance. She was a no-nonsense, hard worker, but, underneath the tough exterior, I could see that we were very similar — women who just wanted to be respected and loved for who we are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Lois Lane of \u003cem>Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15456\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15456\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-800x1017.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: ABC\" width=\"800\" height=\"1017\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-800x1017.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-400x509.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-1180x1501.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-768x977.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-320x407.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri.jpg 1258w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: ABC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Sure, Lois Lane gets to marry the hottest man in the world, Superman, but as an investigative reporter, Lois Lane literally wore the pants-suits in all her relationships. She was the one willing to break into warehouses late at night, constantly defying her partner Clark’s orders to stay back, and always checking to make sure her story was printed with her byline, front and center. And while she sometimes needed rescuing from Superman, she wasn’t afraid to show off her own self-defense moves. With a sharp tongue and fiery temper to match, Lois Lane was this girl’s model of how to be fearless in any situation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>C.J. Cregg of \u003cem>The West Wing\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15455\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15455\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-800x1200.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-400x600.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-320x480.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>C.J. Cregg shows girls what it’s like to succeed. She was a National Merit Scholar, attended Williams College, and then — as she frequently liked to announce — went on to earn a master’s degree in political science from UC Berkeley. As the White House Press Secretary and later, as the first female Chief of Staff, C.J. Cregg was always one of the smartest people in every room. While she excels in her job, C.J. shows that it’s okay at the end of the day to still be herself. She’s a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7H_L5cYkg8\">lip-syncing\u003c/a>, sardonic woman with a steely spine who learned to never let her personal feelings get in the way of getting down to business in the Press Room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Dorothy Zbornak of \u003cem>The Golden Girls\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15453\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15453\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-800x600.png\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-800x600.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-400x300.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-768x576.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-320x240.png 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768.png 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>While Dorothy is often the butt of her mother Sophia Petrillo’s jokes for being a divorced, unattractive substitute teacher, it’s clear that she’s actually the glue holding the Golden Girls together. With her sharp wit, over-the-top '80s style, and insights into her roommates’ hearts and minds, Dorothy is exactly the sort of compassionate but no-holds-barred, utterly comfortable in her own skin, daring woman I wish more of us had the courage to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Veronica Mars of \u003cem>Veronica Mars\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15452\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15452\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: The CW\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-320x180.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars.jpg 1600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: The CW\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My college roommates first introduced me to \u003cem>Veronica Mars\u003c/em>, the brilliant, stun gun-wielding noir-esque detective, who proves, through the show’s dark story arcs, that high school is truly hellish. While she has more than a fair share of relationship troubles, Veronica is fearless in her ability to dish up clever one-liners to both heroes and villains alike – the ultimate bad-ass, in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Violet Crawley of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15450\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15450 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-800x598.jpg\" alt=\"Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey\" width=\"800\" height=\"598\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-800x598.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-400x299.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-1180x882.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-768x574.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-320x239.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: PBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There’s little that hasn’t been said before about how witty, crafty, and outspoken the Dowager Countess is on this period drama. And while Violet Crawley may be more reluctant to change and adapt to the times, it’s clear that this shrewd woman knows how to look for her advantage in any situation. If Violet Crawley had been born in another era — one filled with actual weekends and jobs for most women — there’s no telling what this mighty figure could have accomplished. If I grow up to be half the woman Violet Crawley is, I’ll be very happy indeed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Leslie Knope of \u003cem>Parks and Recreation\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15451\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 660px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-15451\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"660\" height=\"440\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign.jpg 660w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign-320x213.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think most people would be hard-pressed to find something not to love about this future first female President of the United States. With her can-do attitude and indefatigable work ethic, Leslie Knope represents what a woman can accomplish if she’s passionate about her career. But, more importantly, Leslie’s not portrayed as a brash political workaholic; instead, she’s a hilarious, loving, and dedicated friend who simply wants to make the world a better place by helping people, one at a time. And, even more importantly, because Leslie fully admits her flaws, it’s no wonder that she became a strong female role model for the women of Pawnee…and a hero to all the people watching.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "From Russian Planeteers to Army Nurses to bad-ass detectives, here are just a few women that helped turn me into the feminist I am today.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In second grade, I was once mistaken for a kindergartener because I was ”just so short and delicate.” As a girl who cut the lace off her socks, who ran just as fast as the boys, and who spent most of her free time climbing trees, that comment really bothered me. A few years later, I was equally furious when my male swim coach told my friends that I was too weak to roll up the heavy pool cover by myself and that they should always help me. (For the record, I cranked that pool cover in every morning by myself after that for almost 10 years.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a result of moments like these, I knew early on that I wanted to be three things when I grew older: a teacher, a writer, and a feminist. Of course, I didn’t actually know the term ”feminist” when I was little, but I knew what it meant — a strong, confident, and capable woman who doesn’t let anyone stop her when she has a goal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While I’ve been fortunate enough to have a lot of female role models in my life, some of the best were ones I saw on TV. From Russian Planeteers to Army Nurses to bad-ass detectives, here are just a few women that helped turn me into the feminist I am today:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Linka of \u003cem>Captain Planet and the Planeteers\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15458\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 480px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-15458\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: TBS\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1.jpg 480w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/hqdefault-1-320x240.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: TBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Linka was my first feminist role model. Not only did she have an awesome accent, having grown up in the former Soviet Union, Linka had the power to corral the wind, thanks to her planeteer ring. I spent a lot of happy hours as a kid pretending to be Linka when my friends and I would play Planeteers. But the best part of being Linka was the fact that she often told off the brash, fire-wielding Brooklyn-born Planeteer, Wheeler, in hilarious ways.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Major Margaret \"Hot Lips\" Houlihan from \u003cem>M*A*S*H\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15457\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15457\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-800x500.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: CBS\" width=\"800\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-800x500.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-400x250.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-1180x738.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-768x480.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr-320x200.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/loretta-swit-birthday-ftr.jpg 1240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: CBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A lot happened to this head army nurse over the span of the Korean War. As a dedicated fan of the show, it was inspiring to see Margaret grow in confidence after dumping “ferret face” Major Frank Burns, divorcing her wavering Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscot, and becoming her own woman who doesn’t have to rely on favors from “old family friends” to help her career advance. She was a no-nonsense, hard worker, but, underneath the tough exterior, I could see that we were very similar — women who just wanted to be respected and loved for who we are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Lois Lane of \u003cem>Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15456\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15456\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-800x1017.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: ABC\" width=\"800\" height=\"1017\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-800x1017.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-400x509.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-1180x1501.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-768x977.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri-320x407.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/teri.jpg 1258w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: ABC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Sure, Lois Lane gets to marry the hottest man in the world, Superman, but as an investigative reporter, Lois Lane literally wore the pants-suits in all her relationships. She was the one willing to break into warehouses late at night, constantly defying her partner Clark’s orders to stay back, and always checking to make sure her story was printed with her byline, front and center. And while she sometimes needed rescuing from Superman, she wasn’t afraid to show off her own self-defense moves. With a sharp tongue and fiery temper to match, Lois Lane was this girl’s model of how to be fearless in any situation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>C.J. Cregg of \u003cem>The West Wing\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15455\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15455\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-800x1200.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-400x600.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/2eb976e0-24c1-0132-4e76-0ebc4eccb42f1-320x480.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>C.J. Cregg shows girls what it’s like to succeed. She was a National Merit Scholar, attended Williams College, and then — as she frequently liked to announce — went on to earn a master’s degree in political science from UC Berkeley. As the White House Press Secretary and later, as the first female Chief of Staff, C.J. Cregg was always one of the smartest people in every room. While she excels in her job, C.J. shows that it’s okay at the end of the day to still be herself. She’s a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7H_L5cYkg8\">lip-syncing\u003c/a>, sardonic woman with a steely spine who learned to never let her personal feelings get in the way of getting down to business in the Press Room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Dorothy Zbornak of \u003cem>The Golden Girls\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15453\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15453\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-800x600.png\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-800x600.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-400x300.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-768x576.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768-320x240.png 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dorothy-the-golden-girls-22614711-1024-768.png 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>While Dorothy is often the butt of her mother Sophia Petrillo’s jokes for being a divorced, unattractive substitute teacher, it’s clear that she’s actually the glue holding the Golden Girls together. With her sharp wit, over-the-top '80s style, and insights into her roommates’ hearts and minds, Dorothy is exactly the sort of compassionate but no-holds-barred, utterly comfortable in her own skin, daring woman I wish more of us had the courage to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Veronica Mars of \u003cem>Veronica Mars\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15452\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-15452\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: The CW\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars-320x180.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Veronica-Mars.jpg 1600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: The CW\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>My college roommates first introduced me to \u003cem>Veronica Mars\u003c/em>, the brilliant, stun gun-wielding noir-esque detective, who proves, through the show’s dark story arcs, that high school is truly hellish. While she has more than a fair share of relationship troubles, Veronica is fearless in her ability to dish up clever one-liners to both heroes and villains alike – the ultimate bad-ass, in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Violet Crawley of \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15450\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15450 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-800x598.jpg\" alt=\"Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey\" width=\"800\" height=\"598\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-800x598.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-400x299.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-1180x882.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-768x574.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey-320x239.jpg 320w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/Dame-Maggie-Smith-as-The-Dowager-Countess-in-Downton-Abbey.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: PBS\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>There’s little that hasn’t been said before about how witty, crafty, and outspoken the Dowager Countess is on this period drama. And while Violet Crawley may be more reluctant to change and adapt to the times, it’s clear that this shrewd woman knows how to look for her advantage in any situation. If Violet Crawley had been born in another era — one filled with actual weekends and jobs for most women — there’s no telling what this mighty figure could have accomplished. If I grow up to be half the woman Violet Crawley is, I’ll be very happy indeed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Leslie Knope of \u003cem>Parks and Recreation\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15451\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 660px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-15451\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: NBC\" width=\"660\" height=\"440\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign.jpg 660w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/knope_campaign-320x213.jpg 320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 660px) 100vw, 660px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: NBC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think most people would be hard-pressed to find something not to love about this future first female President of the United States. With her can-do attitude and indefatigable work ethic, Leslie Knope represents what a woman can accomplish if she’s passionate about her career. But, more importantly, Leslie’s not portrayed as a brash political workaholic; instead, she’s a hilarious, loving, and dedicated friend who simply wants to make the world a better place by helping people, one at a time. And, even more importantly, because Leslie fully admits her flaws, it’s no wonder that she became a strong female role model for the women of Pawnee…and a hero to all the people watching.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Remember when \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/10/jon-stewart-to-leave-the-daily-show/\">news broke that Jon Stewart was leaving \u003cem>The Daily Show\u003c/em>\u003c/a>? Remember how we all decided to pretend that isn't really happening just so we can get out of bed in the morning? Well, that lie just got harder to believe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Samantha Bee, one of the show's best correspondents, is \u003ca href=\"https://pressroom.turner.com/us/tbs/samantha-bee-heading-tbs#.VPjborB4qSV\">jumping ship\u003c/a> this summer. Don't cry just yet though; she's moving over to TBS for her own show, which will be \"a platform for Bee to apply her smart and satirical point of view to current and relevant issues.\" We can get with that, right? This new show joins the previously announced comedy series she's creating and executive producing alongside fellow \u003cem>Daily Show\u003c/em> correspondent and husband Jason Jones (why didn't anyone tell me they were married?!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not familiar with Bee's work? Click on the gif below for a brilliant bit of performance art:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/930waq/passion-and-intrigue-on--the-five-\">\u003cimg src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_mzgfkxiaUn1qz8x31o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mzgfkxiaUn1qz8x31o1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"223\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15412\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Remember when \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/10/jon-stewart-to-leave-the-daily-show/\">news broke that Jon Stewart was leaving \u003cem>The Daily Show\u003c/em>\u003c/a>? Remember how we all decided to pretend that isn't really happening just so we can get out of bed in the morning? Well, that lie just got harder to believe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Samantha Bee, one of the show's best correspondents, is \u003ca href=\"https://pressroom.turner.com/us/tbs/samantha-bee-heading-tbs#.VPjborB4qSV\">jumping ship\u003c/a> this summer. Don't cry just yet though; she's moving over to TBS for her own show, which will be \"a platform for Bee to apply her smart and satirical point of view to current and relevant issues.\" We can get with that, right? This new show joins the previously announced comedy series she's creating and executive producing alongside fellow \u003cem>Daily Show\u003c/em> correspondent and husband Jason Jones (why didn't anyone tell me they were married?!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not familiar with Bee's work? Click on the gif below for a brilliant bit of performance art:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/930waq/passion-and-intrigue-on--the-five-\">\u003cimg src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/03/tumblr_mzgfkxiaUn1qz8x31o1_400.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mzgfkxiaUn1qz8x31o1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"223\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15412\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>When I met my wife, Kate, we both lived in Baltimore. She was born and raised there, and I’d moved down the coast from Vermont a few months before. I was running toward a job and away from a breakup. We met, we drank whiskey, she spilled some into her shoe, a couple months later she moved in, and about three years after that we got married in the desert of New Mexico.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the meantime, television hadn’t really played a role in our courtship. When I moved to Baltimore, I got cable for the first time in years, but she mainly watched documentaries on Netflix. I tried to introduce her to \u003cem>the Wire\u003c/em>, it being Baltimore and all, but she was bored with the crime and the inaccuracies about her home town. “What’s a lake trout?” she asked me. “Why is everyone drinking Bud Light?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then we realized we could gravitate around a shared love for \u003cem>Star Trek: The Next Generation\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Data was her first love. I remembered being 8 and so excited about \u003cem>TNG\u003c/em> that I would literally run circles around the couch, and my mom would warn me that, if I couldn’t sit down, I wouldn’t be able to watch it at all. So I sat down in a chair with a pillow across my lap, tapping invisible buttons, just like Data at the helm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While I finished \u003cem>the Wire \u003c/em>alone and tried to explain that \u003cem>Deadwood\u003c/em> was more than swearing and cowboy hats, my wife was watching \u003cem>Say Yes to the Dress\u003c/em> (the Atlanta one, which she said was the funny one, not the New York one, which she said was the boring one), but it couldn’t hold my attention. I’m definitely not too stuffy for that kind of show, but there’s a film of unreality to a lot of reality programming, to the point where I have a hard time investing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But then? She introduced me to Stacy and Clinton.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvQ7ihpobR4\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’d heard of \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em> before, but the title had always turned me off. I thought it would be mean, that it would make fun of the people who appeared on it, that they would be taking folks who dressed quirkily or out of step with fashion, and cram them into one-look-fits-all outfits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that is \u003cem>not\u003c/em> the point of view of \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>. \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/10/08/what-makeover-shows-like-girlfriend-intervention-should-learn-from-what-not-to-wear/\">I’ve written about my admiration for Stacy & Clinton & Ted & Carmindy before\u003c/a>, but to put it succinctly, it’s a show where fashion/life gurus help people find their truest selves. They encourage their contributors (they call them \u003cem>contributors!\u003c/em>) to look at why they wear clothes that don’t fit, why they try to avoid being seen, and why they duck away from opportunities for happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it wasn’t really that \u003cem>I’d\u003c/em> found \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>. It’s that my wife had found something about me — that I was attracted to positivity, that I valued kindness over snark. I didn’t know much about fashion or style, or at least I didn’t philosophize about it, before watching \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>, but watching and talking about Stacy & Clinton led us to what is probably the television love of our lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-14632\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"4558c8cd-97bb-d8c3-79c5-8cab6c5aae43_Mad Men_Stairs_Jon_Jes.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-1440x960.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kate didn’t introduce me to \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/17/mad-men-lets-wildly-speculate-about-the-first-photos-from-the-final-season/\">\u003cem>Mad Men\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, but watching it with her and talking about it with her led me to appreciate it as more than a sophisticated soap. I think I can be a little clothes-blind when I watch television, and I’m prone to miss out on subtleties or symbols in fashion design. Even when she said something simple like, “If two characters are aligned philosophically, they’ll show them in similar colors or patterns. They’re part of the same color scheme because they’re aligned.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14633 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete-400x267.jpg\" alt=\"RogerDonPete\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete.jpg 560w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003cem>Mad Men’s\u003c/em> season six premiere, Don and Pete were on the same page — looking outward — while Roger stood apart by looking inward. This sort of thing is worthy of its own article, but writing about it here feels like I’m trying to complete a high school Spanish assignment, or like I’m writing with my left hand. I \u003cem>get it\u003c/em>, and I \u003cem>can\u003c/em> \u003cem>do it, \u003c/em>but it doesn’t come entirely naturally. Watching \u003cem>Mad Men \u003c/em>with Kate, and talking about it after, is like having an external hard drive where I store my thoughts and revelations about the show; I agree with almost everything she discovers about the show, and I’m not a dumb guy, but boy I’d never figure that stuff out on my own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mad Men \u003c/em>is our true love, but there’s another place where we feel the most comfortable. Where we go to be together in silence, often over dinner, after hard days or long days or (sometimes) just for fun.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNkvxqGmscY\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Math? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Science? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rock music? Me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Opera? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poetry? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vice-Presidents? Me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Novels? Both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alex Trebek’s dad-style bad jokes? \u003cem>EVERYONE\u003c/em>, don't front.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We still try out new shows (\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/14/all-hail-the-cw-how-the-youth-geared-network-became-one-of-the-best-on-tv/\">\u003cem>Jane the Virgin\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is on deck), and it’s a kind of game in and of itself figuring out which shows we’ll enjoy together and which we’ll enjoy separately. I’m watching \u003cem>Twin Peaks\u003c/em> — I’ve seen the first season twice, but never the second — and Kate watches some episodes over my shoulder for the outfits and gender dynamics, but even when she's not there, I look at the show differently knowing how she might react to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's a common but complicated thing — trying to understand someone else's inner life. It's what we'll do our entire lives with the people we love most and the people we see every day. I think my wife's spirit animal is \u003ca href=\"http://www.lookhuman.com/render/product/6006/6006909442702003/394triblk-w800h800z1-41741-brains-and-beauty-dana-scully.jpg\">Dana Scully\u003c/a>, and I can't watch \u003cem>The X-Files\u003c/em> without wondering if this is an episode Kate would love, or be indifferent to, and why or why not either way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More than the television we watch — together or alone — that unending desire to know someone, to see them or hear them even when they're not around — that's the journey of the heart, right? In marriage or in friendship or in whatever other form intimacy takes.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "There's TV you watch alone, there's TV your partner watches alone, and there are the things that overlap. What does that say about your relationship?",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>When I met my wife, Kate, we both lived in Baltimore. She was born and raised there, and I’d moved down the coast from Vermont a few months before. I was running toward a job and away from a breakup. We met, we drank whiskey, she spilled some into her shoe, a couple months later she moved in, and about three years after that we got married in the desert of New Mexico.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the meantime, television hadn’t really played a role in our courtship. When I moved to Baltimore, I got cable for the first time in years, but she mainly watched documentaries on Netflix. I tried to introduce her to \u003cem>the Wire\u003c/em>, it being Baltimore and all, but she was bored with the crime and the inaccuracies about her home town. “What’s a lake trout?” she asked me. “Why is everyone drinking Bud Light?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then we realized we could gravitate around a shared love for \u003cem>Star Trek: The Next Generation\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Data was her first love. I remembered being 8 and so excited about \u003cem>TNG\u003c/em> that I would literally run circles around the couch, and my mom would warn me that, if I couldn’t sit down, I wouldn’t be able to watch it at all. So I sat down in a chair with a pillow across my lap, tapping invisible buttons, just like Data at the helm.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While I finished \u003cem>the Wire \u003c/em>alone and tried to explain that \u003cem>Deadwood\u003c/em> was more than swearing and cowboy hats, my wife was watching \u003cem>Say Yes to the Dress\u003c/em> (the Atlanta one, which she said was the funny one, not the New York one, which she said was the boring one), but it couldn’t hold my attention. I’m definitely not too stuffy for that kind of show, but there’s a film of unreality to a lot of reality programming, to the point where I have a hard time investing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But then? She introduced me to Stacy and Clinton.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/rvQ7ihpobR4'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/rvQ7ihpobR4'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>I’d heard of \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em> before, but the title had always turned me off. I thought it would be mean, that it would make fun of the people who appeared on it, that they would be taking folks who dressed quirkily or out of step with fashion, and cram them into one-look-fits-all outfits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But that is \u003cem>not\u003c/em> the point of view of \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>. \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/10/08/what-makeover-shows-like-girlfriend-intervention-should-learn-from-what-not-to-wear/\">I’ve written about my admiration for Stacy & Clinton & Ted & Carmindy before\u003c/a>, but to put it succinctly, it’s a show where fashion/life gurus help people find their truest selves. They encourage their contributors (they call them \u003cem>contributors!\u003c/em>) to look at why they wear clothes that don’t fit, why they try to avoid being seen, and why they duck away from opportunities for happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it wasn’t really that \u003cem>I’d\u003c/em> found \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>. It’s that my wife had found something about me — that I was attracted to positivity, that I valued kindness over snark. I didn’t know much about fashion or style, or at least I didn’t philosophize about it, before watching \u003cem>What Not to Wear\u003c/em>, but watching and talking about Stacy & Clinton led us to what is probably the television love of our lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-14632\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"4558c8cd-97bb-d8c3-79c5-8cab6c5aae43_Mad Men_Stairs_Jon_Jes.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-800x533.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes-1440x960.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/02_mad_men_stairs_jon_jes.jpg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kate didn’t introduce me to \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/17/mad-men-lets-wildly-speculate-about-the-first-photos-from-the-final-season/\">\u003cem>Mad Men\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, but watching it with her and talking about it with her led me to appreciate it as more than a sophisticated soap. I think I can be a little clothes-blind when I watch television, and I’m prone to miss out on subtleties or symbols in fashion design. Even when she said something simple like, “If two characters are aligned philosophically, they’ll show them in similar colors or patterns. They’re part of the same color scheme because they’re aligned.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-14633 size-thumbnail\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete-400x267.jpg\" alt=\"RogerDonPete\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete-400x267.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/01/03_MM_RogerDonPete.jpg 560w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003cem>Mad Men’s\u003c/em> season six premiere, Don and Pete were on the same page — looking outward — while Roger stood apart by looking inward. This sort of thing is worthy of its own article, but writing about it here feels like I’m trying to complete a high school Spanish assignment, or like I’m writing with my left hand. I \u003cem>get it\u003c/em>, and I \u003cem>can\u003c/em> \u003cem>do it, \u003c/em>but it doesn’t come entirely naturally. Watching \u003cem>Mad Men \u003c/em>with Kate, and talking about it after, is like having an external hard drive where I store my thoughts and revelations about the show; I agree with almost everything she discovers about the show, and I’m not a dumb guy, but boy I’d never figure that stuff out on my own.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mad Men \u003c/em>is our true love, but there’s another place where we feel the most comfortable. Where we go to be together in silence, often over dinner, after hard days or long days or (sometimes) just for fun.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/eNkvxqGmscY'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/eNkvxqGmscY'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Math? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Science? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rock music? Me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Opera? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poetry? Her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vice-Presidents? Me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Novels? Both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alex Trebek’s dad-style bad jokes? \u003cem>EVERYONE\u003c/em>, don't front.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We still try out new shows (\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/14/all-hail-the-cw-how-the-youth-geared-network-became-one-of-the-best-on-tv/\">\u003cem>Jane the Virgin\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is on deck), and it’s a kind of game in and of itself figuring out which shows we’ll enjoy together and which we’ll enjoy separately. I’m watching \u003cem>Twin Peaks\u003c/em> — I’ve seen the first season twice, but never the second — and Kate watches some episodes over my shoulder for the outfits and gender dynamics, but even when she's not there, I look at the show differently knowing how she might react to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's a common but complicated thing — trying to understand someone else's inner life. It's what we'll do our entire lives with the people we love most and the people we see every day. I think my wife's spirit animal is \u003ca href=\"http://www.lookhuman.com/render/product/6006/6006909442702003/394triblk-w800h800z1-41741-brains-and-beauty-dana-scully.jpg\">Dana Scully\u003c/a>, and I can't watch \u003cem>The X-Files\u003c/em> without wondering if this is an episode Kate would love, or be indifferent to, and why or why not either way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Everything Bad That Happens in 'Downton Abbey' Is Lord Grantham's Fault",
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"content": "\u003cp>The grandeur, the nuance, the amazing way nothing happens until the final scenes of an episode... In its glory days, I could spend hours describing the delight that is \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>. Yet anyone who’s watched the show since the beginning can see that it’s a shadow of what it once was. If it wasn’t for the pragmatic wit of the \u003ca href=\"http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20769936,00.html\">Dowager Countess\u003c/a>, the intermittent brashness of Tom and the simmering affection between Carson and Mrs. Hughes, I don’t know if I could have made until the end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I’ve been contemplating the big question that plagues many great shows that receive high praise at its onset: what went \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-1-roundtable/384182/\">wrong\u003c/a>? Was it the death of beloved characters like \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/06/missing-the-actors-who-quit-downton-here-are-3-strange-dark-gems-to-watch-them-in/\">Sybil and Matthew\u003c/a>? A tone shift as the characters clumsily dealt with the drastic differences between pre-war frivolity and post-war austerity? Or had it reached its peak in the third season and we’re watching its slow decline into mediocrity?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or perhaps it’s the problem \u003cem>Downton \u003c/em>has been grappling with since the start: over-privileged men, specifically Lord Grantham (a.k.a. Robert Crawley a.k.a. the blustering, bumbling head of the family). At the start, his oblivious follies created dramatic plot points and added tension to the show. Now, despite (and sometimes because of) his intentions to protect the family name, Lord Grantham seems to cause and/or aggravate many of the Abbey’s catastrophes during these, as Lady Mary likes to point out, “changing times.” He epitomizes the dangers of unchecked \u003ca href=\"http://maleprivilege.tumblr.com/\">male privilege\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s take a quick look at Lord Grantham’s low points from the past five seasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- With his terrible money management and lack of good decision-making skills, Lord Grantham basically ran Downton into the ground. He lost his and Cora’s money based on a bad investment decision he made without consulting her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- Feeling ignored by Cora (who was busy running their house-turned-makeshift hospital) and useless during the war, Lord Grantham almost starts an affair with a maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- He tries to pay off his son-in-law, Tom Branson, because he is of a lower class. He later owes much of his renewed success to said son-in-law.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- When his youngest daughter Sybil was in labor, Robert ignores the doctor’s warning that she was showing signs of preeclampsia and needs to give birth in a hospital. In spite of everyone else’s concern, Robert insists that she remain at home, where she later dies after giving birth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- Out of some combo of paternalism and jealousy, he attempts to prolong Mary’s mourning to keep her from playing a role in running the estate via her husband’s will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In all of these scenarios, Lord Grantham unwittingly finds himself at the center of some disaster. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, the mess is promptly cleaned up by the women in his life (chiefly his put-upon wife and nonplussed mother) and servants. What’s worse, he not only is blind to his part in the problem, he tends to see himself as the victim.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, the above only scratches the surface of much deeper and complicated issues. Whether he’s bemoaning the fate of the estate he couldn’t properly manage or fuming over a lack of respect when someone dares to express an opinion \u003ca href=\"https://tv.yahoo.com/blogs/tv-news/downton-abbey-miss-bunting-annoying-192327145.html\">contrary\u003c/a> to his conservative views, Grantham makes sure his wounds are visible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn’t just some deep character flaw, it’s indicative of a larger theme within the series. When the men, particularly Lord Grantham, go unchecked, bad stuff happens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Born into wealth, Lord Grantham benefits from the dual privilege of manhood and money. Spending most of his life in a world that bends to his will, he has no need to care about how his actions can negatively affect those around him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One can blame the era of \u003cem>Downton,\u003c/em> a time when men talked, women \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html\">listened\u003c/a> and servants tried to stay out of the way, for Grantham’s behavior. Although the world of Downton is quite insular, show creator \u003ca href=\"http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/29/downton-abbeys-future-in-doubt-after-julian-fellowes-fails-to-commit\">Julian Fellowes\u003c/a> ensures that hot-button issues from outside of the Abbey’s walls seep in. Women were seizing opportunities for independence, proving their capabilities extended beyond polite conversation. Simultaneously, the working class that made estates like Downton possible realized they could have careers outside of the kitchen and began organizing to have their voices heard in the upper echelons of government. We see these glimmers of \u003ca href=\"http://americanhumanist.org/HNN/details/2014-01-the-humanism-of-downton-abbey\">progressive\u003c/a> thinking in the likes of Edith, who now owns a publishing company, Dr. Richard Clarkson, who learns to value the input of feisty Isobel when treating wounded soldiers, and former chauffeur Tom with his socialist leanings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They stand as needed contrasts to Lord Grantham’s antiquated ways, yet Donk’s actions aren’t that different from how many men act today. Just think of \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/21/nyregion/MTA-targets-manspreading-on-new-york-city-subways.html\">manspreading\u003c/a> on public transit, insistent and unnecessary \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/11/a-cultural-history-of-mansplaining/264380/\">mansplaining\u003c/a>, and the mere fact that male is the \u003ca href=\"http://www.salon.com/2014/05/20/stephen_colbert_explains_ridiculous_inequalities_in_drug_testing_male_is_default_human/\">default\u003c/a> for human. These are only a few of the subtle reminders that the privilege of being a man is not having to make an effort to see the world from someone else’s perspective. The job titles may be different, the dress less formal, but men in power \u003ca href=\"http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2015/02/anthony_weiner_twitter_war_with_gov_cuomos_staff_keep_your_pants_on.html\">acting a fool\u003c/a> remains the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s no denying that Lord Grantham is a fundamentally decent man who wants what \u003cem>he \u003c/em>thinks is best for family and vast estate. But in these changing times, what he thinks isn’t the only thing that matters. Lord Grantham is learning that the hard way.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"headline": "Everything Bad That Happens in 'Downton Abbey' Is Lord Grantham's Fault",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The grandeur, the nuance, the amazing way nothing happens until the final scenes of an episode... In its glory days, I could spend hours describing the delight that is \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>. Yet anyone who’s watched the show since the beginning can see that it’s a shadow of what it once was. If it wasn’t for the pragmatic wit of the \u003ca href=\"http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20769936,00.html\">Dowager Countess\u003c/a>, the intermittent brashness of Tom and the simmering affection between Carson and Mrs. Hughes, I don’t know if I could have made until the end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I’ve been contemplating the big question that plagues many great shows that receive high praise at its onset: what went \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-1-roundtable/384182/\">wrong\u003c/a>? Was it the death of beloved characters like \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/06/missing-the-actors-who-quit-downton-here-are-3-strange-dark-gems-to-watch-them-in/\">Sybil and Matthew\u003c/a>? A tone shift as the characters clumsily dealt with the drastic differences between pre-war frivolity and post-war austerity? Or had it reached its peak in the third season and we’re watching its slow decline into mediocrity?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or perhaps it’s the problem \u003cem>Downton \u003c/em>has been grappling with since the start: over-privileged men, specifically Lord Grantham (a.k.a. Robert Crawley a.k.a. the blustering, bumbling head of the family). At the start, his oblivious follies created dramatic plot points and added tension to the show. Now, despite (and sometimes because of) his intentions to protect the family name, Lord Grantham seems to cause and/or aggravate many of the Abbey’s catastrophes during these, as Lady Mary likes to point out, “changing times.” He epitomizes the dangers of unchecked \u003ca href=\"http://maleprivilege.tumblr.com/\">male privilege\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let’s take a quick look at Lord Grantham’s low points from the past five seasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- With his terrible money management and lack of good decision-making skills, Lord Grantham basically ran Downton into the ground. He lost his and Cora’s money based on a bad investment decision he made without consulting her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- Feeling ignored by Cora (who was busy running their house-turned-makeshift hospital) and useless during the war, Lord Grantham almost starts an affair with a maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- He tries to pay off his son-in-law, Tom Branson, because he is of a lower class. He later owes much of his renewed success to said son-in-law.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- When his youngest daughter Sybil was in labor, Robert ignores the doctor’s warning that she was showing signs of preeclampsia and needs to give birth in a hospital. In spite of everyone else’s concern, Robert insists that she remain at home, where she later dies after giving birth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>- Out of some combo of paternalism and jealousy, he attempts to prolong Mary’s mourning to keep her from playing a role in running the estate via her husband’s will.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In all of these scenarios, Lord Grantham unwittingly finds himself at the center of some disaster. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, the mess is promptly cleaned up by the women in his life (chiefly his put-upon wife and nonplussed mother) and servants. What’s worse, he not only is blind to his part in the problem, he tends to see himself as the victim.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, the above only scratches the surface of much deeper and complicated issues. Whether he’s bemoaning the fate of the estate he couldn’t properly manage or fuming over a lack of respect when someone dares to express an opinion \u003ca href=\"https://tv.yahoo.com/blogs/tv-news/downton-abbey-miss-bunting-annoying-192327145.html\">contrary\u003c/a> to his conservative views, Grantham makes sure his wounds are visible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn’t just some deep character flaw, it’s indicative of a larger theme within the series. When the men, particularly Lord Grantham, go unchecked, bad stuff happens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Born into wealth, Lord Grantham benefits from the dual privilege of manhood and money. Spending most of his life in a world that bends to his will, he has no need to care about how his actions can negatively affect those around him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One can blame the era of \u003cem>Downton,\u003c/em> a time when men talked, women \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html\">listened\u003c/a> and servants tried to stay out of the way, for Grantham’s behavior. Although the world of Downton is quite insular, show creator \u003ca href=\"http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/29/downton-abbeys-future-in-doubt-after-julian-fellowes-fails-to-commit\">Julian Fellowes\u003c/a> ensures that hot-button issues from outside of the Abbey’s walls seep in. Women were seizing opportunities for independence, proving their capabilities extended beyond polite conversation. Simultaneously, the working class that made estates like Downton possible realized they could have careers outside of the kitchen and began organizing to have their voices heard in the upper echelons of government. We see these glimmers of \u003ca href=\"http://americanhumanist.org/HNN/details/2014-01-the-humanism-of-downton-abbey\">progressive\u003c/a> thinking in the likes of Edith, who now owns a publishing company, Dr. Richard Clarkson, who learns to value the input of feisty Isobel when treating wounded soldiers, and former chauffeur Tom with his socialist leanings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They stand as needed contrasts to Lord Grantham’s antiquated ways, yet Donk’s actions aren’t that different from how many men act today. Just think of \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/21/nyregion/MTA-targets-manspreading-on-new-york-city-subways.html\">manspreading\u003c/a> on public transit, insistent and unnecessary \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/11/a-cultural-history-of-mansplaining/264380/\">mansplaining\u003c/a>, and the mere fact that male is the \u003ca href=\"http://www.salon.com/2014/05/20/stephen_colbert_explains_ridiculous_inequalities_in_drug_testing_male_is_default_human/\">default\u003c/a> for human. These are only a few of the subtle reminders that the privilege of being a man is not having to make an effort to see the world from someone else’s perspective. The job titles may be different, the dress less formal, but men in power \u003ca href=\"http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2015/02/anthony_weiner_twitter_war_with_gov_cuomos_staff_keep_your_pants_on.html\">acting a fool\u003c/a> remains the same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s no denying that Lord Grantham is a fundamentally decent man who wants what \u003cem>he \u003c/em>thinks is best for family and vast estate. But in these changing times, what he thinks isn’t the only thing that matters. Lord Grantham is learning that the hard way.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Finale Recap: All I Want for Christmas Is You",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Finale Recap: All I Want for Christmas Is You",
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"content": "\u003cp>Hark! What sound is that? It’s the sound of another legendary \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>Christmas Special! Do I really have to remind you of the always-in-effect \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>? There, I did it! On to the Abbey!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A car pulls up in front of an official looking building and we see the magenta back of a stylish Mary, who I’ll wager is headed to prison to check on Anna in this season’s first \u003cem>Orange is the New Black\u003c/em> crossover episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Robert “Donk” Grantham pretends to care about Anna’s false (?) imprisonment to Bates, but then starts talking about a trip they are taking or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, everyone is hurrying around, presumably related to this alleged trip (did I miss something last episode or is this just another symptom of my smart-phone-related dementia?). It appears that Baxter is now attending to both Cora and Mary. Oh man, this just now occurred to me: why does Mary have a lady’s maid and Edith doesn’t?! Is Mary physically incapable of buttoning her own buttons? I paused the show to type that and my question was answered immediately: Anna was supposedly also Edith’s lady’s maid?! Um, when did she ever, ever help Edith pick out a fancy dress? Or buy prophylactics for her? Suddenly, I’m beginning to think Anna is a dark-hearted bully who ignored Edith on purpose and may also be a murderer. Jury’s still out, people!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In jail, Mary of course looks stunning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a luncheon of some sort, the family sort of talks vaguely about this impending trip and then Violet reveals that the Princess, the wife of her true love, no big deal, is coming to England, like momentarily. Um, what the hell, Violet? I get trying to be cool for your new boyfriend, but you’ve got to think about number one and, in this case, number one is the magic blossoming between you and the Prince! Hong Kong is lovely! The Princess would have done great there!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, it kind of seems like Mary dressed up to make Anna feel bad. What I’m saying is Anna doesn’t look great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a downstairs hall, Carson and Hughes debate the question of Mary’s prison visit. Carson, the perpetual Mary apologist, thinks it’s bad because people might think it’s somehow improper. Carson, how do you feel about sex vacations?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, the help fight over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the special Hughes and Carson room, Ross/Carson and Rachel/Hughes drink wine and talk about real estate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the house, it is revealed that the destination of the family trip is Atticus’s family’s place that they did quickly discuss last episode. See? I remember! Anyway, everyone is going and the moms and dad have to say goodbye to their children, who they probably only see 20 minutes a day anyway. Edith is like the \u003cem>most \u003c/em>terrible at pretending she isn’t Marigold’s mom. So terrible that even Donk can see it plainly now. How have Tom and Mary not noticed? Are they just drunk all the time?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet and Isobel bid the family adieu at the train station. I thought they were taking a ship somewhere. That would have been a bit more interesting. I guess they’re just going somewhere else English to shoot at things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, everyone is doing a deep cleaning, since the family is away, which gives a great bookish setting for Molesley to question Daisy about her studies and for Daisy to once again wiffle-waffle about her education. Patmore calls her out because Patmore is the one who tells it like it is on this show. We are all Patmore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the fanciest train, the Crawleys all sit in one room without murdering each other or even suggesting murder. Maybe because the train is moving they feel less anxious in each other’s company? Like they could jump out at any time? Oh, wait! Spoke too soon! Miserable Mary suggests locking all the children up in a box in the attic and not letting them out until they are 21. Also: she doesn’t appear to be joking. She refers to herself as “the mother around here” and Donk gives a deep side-eye scowl to Cora. Edith, your secret ain’t safe for long!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Atticus' family’s “place” turns out to be a huge and magnificent castle! Downton now seems stupid. Remake the show please and, this time, set it at this fancy castle! Atticus' parents speak with yet another New Butler. The problem with character proliferation on Downton is thus: every time a new upper class person shows up, you know somewhere there’s going to be a servant-y type too. Basically the cast is increasing exponentially.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cars pull up to the castle, giving us another glimpse at this magnificent place. My main question, obviously, is how do they heat it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose and Atticus, now married (if you know what I mean), greet the family at one of the doors. I imagine this place is just rife with doors. Atticus’ Mean Dad and Atticus’ Sweet Mom show up and the two families who just love each other to bits are in the same room once again. Soon, they will be shooting guns together!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the castle, Thomas introduces himself to the New Butler, who is extra mean which seems reasonable since a) his boss, Atticus’ Mean Dad, is also mean and b) no one in their right mind should ever be nice to Thomas. He smells weakness like sharks smell blood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, the Old Ladies Club meets in a garden to discuss the upcoming arrival of the Princess. Look, I thought this was the Christmas Special. It seems really warm for Christmas, if these ladies can have tea in a garden…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, there is a gauche tea in the library. Ugh, so not the place for tea. The New Butler is openly rude to Tom. I am sorry, but that is just not done, okay? He is a monument to the perfect and wonderful Sybbie and is the only one I trust with a car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Violet sets her two servants up to fight each other. Oh my god. Why am I even acknowledging this is happening?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall downstairs at the Abbey, Ross and Rachel talk about real estate. Bates goes to visit Anna in prison to, I'm assuming, talk more about real estate?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, everyone and some dogs get into horse-drawn carriages, which take them out to an open field. I can’t think of what is better than carts full of armed people who hate each other!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the killing field, Mary gives Atticus’ Mean Dad a lecture on family unity, while using some sort of special walking stick designed for weak females out in the field.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Behind a bush, Atticus’ Sweet Mom and Tom talk about not being accepted. I think it would be a bit more heartwarming without the loaded weapon in Tom’s hands, but that’s just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Behind a wall of some kind, Robert continues to evade Cora’s questions about his beginning-of-the-episode trip to York. Yeah, I should have mentioned this before, but I didn’t and now it’s come up three times so it’s obviously a thing. So sorry. Sue me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone keeps shooting and the shots ring out dramatically as the scene cuts to the Bateses in prison. Drab Anna-In-Prison reveals to Bates that her stepfather abused her when she was a kid and she cut him with a knife. That doesn’t seem like permissible evidence in this case. Does she have a lawyer?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, Non-Sneaky-Edith can\u003cem>not\u003c/em> stop talking about the children. The New Butler continues to be a total jerk to Tom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a real estate field trip, Ross and Rachel have some delightful patter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, some crazy wife-swapping is about to happen. The Prince is there, as well as Isobel and her man. Upstairs, the Princess readies herself for battle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Baxter dresses Mary (who is dressing Edith? WHO?!) and Mary tries to get Baxter to get Thomas to do something to make the New Butler look bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter relays Malevolent Mary’s message to Thomas, who isn’t that reformed after all and can’t wait to destroy the New Butler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the Princess enters the room. She is clearly a horrible woman who kind of rightfully hates Violet because, you know, her husband is in love with her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back the castle, Thomas sets his trap for the New Butler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, a harpist plays and Atticus is such a sweetheart as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Patmore has set a romantic dinner for her favorites. It seems a lot nicer than the dinner in the castle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, the New Butler is still being overtly un-nice to Branson. Too bad for him because Thomas’ plan is working! His plan? Get the New Butler to serve a boring dinner! Atticus’ Mean Dad blows up at the New Butler and the Crawleys feel right at home (because every one of their meals involves yelling).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the wife swap is in full swing. The Princess is basically Debbie Downer, serving sad, deadpan one-liners to anyone who will listen. Even Sprat thinks she’s rude. Violet seems to have decided her love with the Prince shall never be. Why, Violet? \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw\" target=\"_blank\">You could have had it all!\u003c/a> Isobel’s Fancy Fiancé leaves with the Prince and the whole wife swap is abruptly turned into the usual: a meeting of the Old Ladies Society to talk about boyz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Cora finally gets Donk to tell her what’s wrong, which turns out to be “pains in…[his] tummy.” (Yes, that was unfair quoting, but did you not giggle slightly?) Donk apparently has angina maybe, but don’t worry: he can still hunt! Since he’s on the verge of death, he decides to tell Edith that he knows her deep, dark, poorly kept secret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the whole deal between Sprat and Violet’s Lady’s Maid is still, sadly, part of the plot. Can Violet’s Lady’s Maid make soup? Will we ever know?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Donk knocks on Edith’s door and Edith has her hair down and looks amazzzing. Edith for Cinderella!! Anyway, he’s there to tell Edith that he’s totes down and cool with Marigold being his granddaughter. They have a real nice father-daughter forgiveness moment. I feel so bad for Edith because tomorrow Donk will most likely come up to her and be like: “You know that whole thing last night? So sorry! I thought you were Mary because I was kinda sleepy and ate a big dinner and was maybe drunk...”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the castle, Thomas is now pissed because yes, his light prank worked, but he was insulted by Atticus’ Mean Dad in the crossfire. Heads will roll!! Never cross Thomas. Now he’s going rogue. This is about to be a bender on evil. Just remember: relapse is part of recovery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the New Butler’s office, Thomas tries to ingratiate himself with the New Butler, who is now doing a handwriting comparison with all the staff to find out who wronged him. Oh, dang. Did Baxter write the offending note? Will Angel Baxter fall once more? Thomas gets the New Butler to sell out Atticus’ Mean Dad. Never be mean to Thomas, but, more importantly, never be nice to Thomas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk out on the grounds, the youngs discuss plans to move to America.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Violet’s Lady’s Maid engages Patmore and Daisy to make her soup for Violet. Snooze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when you thought you couldn’t get any sleepier…the Bateses are in jail, talking about things again. Seriously, did the writing staff just decide they wanted to go on a little vaycay and could completely recycle this entire plot line and just switch which Bates is in jail and no one would even notice? I’m a little offended, writers! Do you know how closely I watch this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Isobel’s sitting room, she and her Fancy Fiancé (I hope!) are in the midst of real serious relationship talk. Isobel is like, I will \u003cem>not\u003c/em> be an evil stepmother! So the Fancy Fiancé decides to put a hit out on his children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Downton kitchen, the Lady’s Maid has ruined her soup. Seriously, how hard is it to make soup? That is like one thing I am totally capable of making and I can barely cook toast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the \u003cem>Orange is the New Black\u003c/em> crossover, the prison is boring as heck. Where is Red? Where is Crazy Eyes? I was led to believe a women’s prison would be a fun good time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, the New Butler is regretting his drunk over-sharing with Thomas. Too bad, dude. Your fate is sealed. Try again next time! Morally Bankrupt Mary is pre-angry at an uninvited guest, who is taking Atticus’s spot hunting tomorrow. I bet he’s her true love. She’s also present-moment angry at Donk and Edith, who are BFFs now that Donk is dying and Edith is out to him as a mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the special Ross and Rachel side room at Downton, Ross is ready to toast their new future as bed and breakfast owners, but Rachel has to let Ross down because—plot twist!—Rachel has no money because she’s been sending all her money to the caretaker of her “not quite right in the head” sister. Oh, Rachel! You are an even bigger angel than Baxter. Their intimate discussion about siblings, investments and real estate is interrupted by a very worried Bates, who has received a telegram from the lawyer that apparently said: “Bad news! Call me.” That seems like a rude telegram to send! Just say: “Call me.” You’re the lawyer. He’s going to call you stat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle’s shooting grounds, love is in the air. Edith is paired up with the Agent who, if you’ll remember, “everyone feels a bit sorry for.” Classic Edith. Mary is somehow paired up with the Hanger On she’s been dogging the whole episode. The Hanger On is a Benedict Cumberbatch look-alike who is terrible at shooting and who Mary has decided to torture, her favorite form of flirting, over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another corner of the field, Edith follows her sister’s lead and does some of her own flirting over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Daisy is terrible at subterfuge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Violet’s garden, Isobel has a letter from Larry the Petulant Drugger who really, really doesn’t want a new mommy. This is always what happens when you don’t teach children boundaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, it’s raining and the Lawyer is apparently \u003cem>telephoning \u003c/em>Donk about Criminal Anna things (they’ve set a date for her trial), even though he can only telegram Bates. Donk’s tummy problem is acting up so tragically Cora won’t allow him to play with guns anymore this afternoon, which solves everyone’s problems since now Atticus can shoot. Really, these guys are just terrible at taking turns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a lunch outside at the castle, Mary is in full-swing in her torture-flirting and Benedict Cumberbatch is eating it up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen at Violet’s, Sprat calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid out on the fact that Daisy actually made the soup in this terrible subplot. Problem: Violet’s Lady’s Maid is using a very large knife. Sadly, she does not turn the knife on Sprat and instead watches him pour the soup down the drain. Open a can, dude! It’s not that hard!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, a child steps out of a car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, it turns out that’s where the kid was getting out of the car! And who is this kid? Well, it seems like it might be the illegitimate child of Atticus’ Mean Dad. Rose thinks on her feet to save her new father-in-law and pretends the mom of the kid who got out of the car is her BFF. Somehow, this works. Turns out Thomas decided to go nuclear on everyone and telegrammed Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Mistress and told her to bring his other son. Classic Thomas. Luckily, Mary loves subterfuge and also improv so she gets in on the game of pretending to know Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Mistress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Bates is all dressed in black and seems to be giving his notice in letter form to Molesley to give to Carson. We all know what a goof Molesley is! Hilarity will ensue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Rose bids goodbye to the Mistress and Edith chats up her new love interest, the Agent. Rose blackmails Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Butler, while Mary looks on proudly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall before dinner, Atticus’ Mean Dad stops Mary, Rose and Donk to thank them for not selling him out to his family and then totally changes his position on Rose being his daughter-in-law. Take note, ladies: If your father-in-law hates you, help him avoid an embarrassing situation with his mistress! #WifeTips\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at Downton, Carson has opened the letter from Bates and apparently it isn't a notice but a confession to the murder of the Rapist. But, duh, they know it was a girl, Bates! Anyway, Sherlock Molesley is on the case! Find Bates and prove his innocence!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, there’s a gramophone in the library and everyone is dancing. Mary is, of course, dancing with Benedict Cumberbatch and trying to remain as uninterested as a person can while dancing with another person. He quizzes her about the earlier appearance of the Mistress and she’s impressed that he noticed what was going on, even though you would have to be deaf and blind not to see what was happening. Speaking of obvious situations everyone is trying to pretend away, Tom finally tells Edith he also knows Marigold isn’t some random foundling. Now it’s just Mary who doesn’t know and mainly she just doesn’t care. Edith dances off with the Agent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bateses cottage, Molesley is on the hunt for exculpatory evidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Benedict Cumberbatch and Mary share some last-minute flirting until he tells her his real passion is for cars. Oh my god! Stay away from sun-dappled lanes!! Mary, however, seems to have forgotten her long, dark history with automotives and is left weak in the knees as her new love interest speeds off. “Matthew who?” you can almost hear the wind whisper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The cars pull up to Downton and the children come out for their customary parade and Carson tells Donk that Bates is gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, no one knows what to do now that two main employees are gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, no one knows what to do now that two main employees are gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it turns out that Sherlock Molesley has a Watson of his very own; Baxter offers to help him vindicate Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk and Cora’s bedroom, the Lord and Lady conspire to keep Bates-related evidence out of the hands of the authorities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The lawyer and Anna arrive at Downton, but, while free, she is sad because Bates One is on the run in Ireland and all freedom really is for her is dressing bratty adult women, constant anxiety that Bates will get caught and probably a sprinkling of PTSD to round it out. Prison was probably better, is what she’s thinking now. Crazy Eyes was so fun at that Christmas Pageant! She could have gotten really serious about her yoga practice!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the moment we’ve all been waiting on the edge of our seats for has arrived! Violet must taste the soup made for her by her Lady’s Maid, while Sprat looks on gleefully. What will she do? How bad is it?? But Violet is nothing but classy and spiteful towards Sprat so she pronounces the broth “delicious” and goes to bed, where we all hope this story line is finally going too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he isn’t about to go meet Isis in Heaven but instead has an ulcer. Womp. Good news though: the Art Guy’s favorite painting sold for like a lot of money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the windfall means that Carson is hiring a new footman. Oh, just what we need, a new cast member to remember. Thomas and Daisy who have similar taste in men make a bid for the New Cast Member from Rose’s Wedding. He’s pretty cute so I say, yes, go with him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Suddenly, it is Christmas 1924 and I feel a Tom and Baby Sybbie sized lump in my throat. Never leave us, you two! The New Cast Member has been hired and his name is Andy, which I think I can handle. The babies and their parents trim a massive tree and Baby Sybbie has the presence of mind to use her adorable British accent to say words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a snowy town, Sherlock and Watson look for someone who remembers seeing Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their special room, Hughes wraps a gift for Carson. Carson tells Hughes that he bought their dream house himself. When is he going to invite Hughes to live with him there, happily ever after?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Sherlock and Watson present their new Bates-saving evidence to the Crawleys.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their bedroom, Cora and Donk discuss the particulars of contacting the soon-to-be-cleared (again) Bates. Also: ulcers. Such pillow talk between these two!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Christmas is looking fancy. I can’t be sure, but I think they may be having a bacon wrapped goose? Okay, I will eat that. Everyone encourages Daisy to study because no one knows what they want around here!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Isobel’s, she’s finally showing the nasty letter from Larry the Drugger to his dad, her Fancy Fiancé. She breaks up with him because he’s got a stupid son, even though the Fancy Fiancé is the best and so nice and so rich. Violet comes in on them during the breakup and the ladies both mention, almost as an afterthought, how “sad” the whole thing is. Sad?! Heart breaking! You should be crying, Isobel! You just let the terrorists win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lonely Anna sits alone in her cottage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith and Tom talk over the children’s stockings. Mary comes in so Tom decides they should have a Christmas séance for Sybil. Donk walks by and makes a play to keep Baby Sybbie for himself. Oh, Donk. Not happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the whole village sings Christmas carols around the tree. Rose teaches Atticus the words because he’s a Jew so he’s never heard a Christmas carol before. Donk, it appears, is drunk, since he’s been abstaining from alcohol for awhile due to his non-lethal ulcer. Violet’s Lady’s Maid also drinks liberally from the punch bowl. Rose and Atticus talk about how awesome and exciting it is to be married. Next thing you know, Rose is going to be starting a blog about her super cool life as a wife, which will turn into a fashion blog and then a mommy blog. Watch out, world! As usual, Thomas and Daisy both flirt with the same guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, the Old Ladies Society have a special Christmas meeting to tell the best boyz story of all, the love story of Violet and her Prince. Drunk Donk breaks up the meeting though, as jovially as possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the party, Drunk Donk is about to give a speech! Scandal! Fortunately, as his final good act in Britain, Tom saves him by starting a round of \"He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.\" Then Mary sings \"Silent Night\" while Edith plays. When did they ever spend enough time in the same room to practice? Also, why do none of these versions of these songs rhyme? Is that a British thing, to not rhyme your song lyrics?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson brings Hughes down to their special room and tells her he put their dream house in both of their names. She’s like, “Look, I can’t let you do this amazing thing for me! I don’t want to tie you down!” And he’s like, “Oh, Hughes! I want to be, metaphorically and maybe literally, I don’t know, tied down by you! Will you marry me??” Finally! I don’t know what comes next, but that was the best moment of the season and this slow-burn romance better get a spinoff where they own a bed and breakfast together! With Patmore as the cook! Can you even imagine?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the party, Drunk Donk tells Tom that he actually likes him now and then proceeds to give a speech to the entire village about how great Tom is. As the whole town joins together to sing “O Come All Ye Faithful,” Bates appears at a door and then sneaks up behind Anna and whispers into her ear. While a normal person would probably scream at that, Anna seems pretty stoked and Bates forgets he’s lame, literally, for a minute and picks Anna up into the air.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> Episode Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Violet:\u003c/strong> She gets ranked this week for her great love story and the sly bit about how she totally continued to cheat on her husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baby Sybbie:\u003c/strong> She coined the terms “Donk” and now she’s passing it on to her cousin Marigold. Kudos, girlfriend! You’re a pretty cool baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Tom:\u003c/strong> Without Tom, Edith and Mary will murder each other. It’s going to make for a bloody but interesting season. Still, I will miss Tom and his cute face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Carson:\u003c/strong> Finally, he got the guts to propose to his Rachel and it was magnificent. I love you, old guy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 1. Hughes:\u003c/strong> When Carson asks her to marry him, she doesn’t mess around. She says: “I thought you’d never ask.” That is how a proposal should go. That is how a season should end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Season Character Ranking \u003c/strong>(Scientifically-ish based on total season scores!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Patmore: \u003c/strong>While this season wasn't especially meaty (get it? she's a cook!) for Patmore, she's always a solid character and one of my favorites. Glad to see she made it in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tied for 4: Mary and Hughes: \u003c/strong>I'm offended at myself for allowing the worst and the best elements of Downton to tie for such a paltry spot. Mary started strong but became unbearable, whereas Hughes was, as usual, the backbone of the whole gosh darn house!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3: Violet: \u003c/strong>Violet came through this season by having an affair with a prince. We have to respect that, whether or not we agree with her decision to not move to Paris with him and live out the rest of their days in bliss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Edith: \u003c/strong>Edith deserves every happiness she has by the end of this season, especially now that we know that Mary is probably going to murder her at the end of next season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Tom Branson: \u003c/strong>Oh, Tom! I can't stand to see you and Baby Sybbie leave, but thank god they didn't drive you down a sun-dappled lane. Maybe you guys can come back for a guest spot in next year's Christmas Special?? If you promise to come, I promise to recap again. One more time for old time's sake. I love you, Tom! RIP Sybil!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thank you guys for following along with me this season! It's been fun and sad and hard. We lost dogs to cancer and potential husbands to Hitler. But we're still here! Next year, I predict Edith will marry the Agent, Mary will marry Benedict Cumberbatch, Donk will get another tummy ache, and Hughes and Carson will finally kiss! See you then!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/22/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-8-recap-london-calling/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 8 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Hark! What sound is that? It’s the sound of another legendary \u003cem>Downton Abbey \u003c/em>Christmas Special! Do I really have to remind you of the always-in-effect \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>? There, I did it! On to the Abbey!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A car pulls up in front of an official looking building and we see the magenta back of a stylish Mary, who I’ll wager is headed to prison to check on Anna in this season’s first \u003cem>Orange is the New Black\u003c/em> crossover episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Robert “Donk” Grantham pretends to care about Anna’s false (?) imprisonment to Bates, but then starts talking about a trip they are taking or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, everyone is hurrying around, presumably related to this alleged trip (did I miss something last episode or is this just another symptom of my smart-phone-related dementia?). It appears that Baxter is now attending to both Cora and Mary. Oh man, this just now occurred to me: why does Mary have a lady’s maid and Edith doesn’t?! Is Mary physically incapable of buttoning her own buttons? I paused the show to type that and my question was answered immediately: Anna was supposedly also Edith’s lady’s maid?! Um, when did she ever, ever help Edith pick out a fancy dress? Or buy prophylactics for her? Suddenly, I’m beginning to think Anna is a dark-hearted bully who ignored Edith on purpose and may also be a murderer. Jury’s still out, people!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In jail, Mary of course looks stunning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a luncheon of some sort, the family sort of talks vaguely about this impending trip and then Violet reveals that the Princess, the wife of her true love, no big deal, is coming to England, like momentarily. Um, what the hell, Violet? I get trying to be cool for your new boyfriend, but you’ve got to think about number one and, in this case, number one is the magic blossoming between you and the Prince! Hong Kong is lovely! The Princess would have done great there!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, it kind of seems like Mary dressed up to make Anna feel bad. What I’m saying is Anna doesn’t look great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a downstairs hall, Carson and Hughes debate the question of Mary’s prison visit. Carson, the perpetual Mary apologist, thinks it’s bad because people might think it’s somehow improper. Carson, how do you feel about sex vacations?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, the help fight over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the special Hughes and Carson room, Ross/Carson and Rachel/Hughes drink wine and talk about real estate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the house, it is revealed that the destination of the family trip is Atticus’s family’s place that they did quickly discuss last episode. See? I remember! Anyway, everyone is going and the moms and dad have to say goodbye to their children, who they probably only see 20 minutes a day anyway. Edith is like the \u003cem>most \u003c/em>terrible at pretending she isn’t Marigold’s mom. So terrible that even Donk can see it plainly now. How have Tom and Mary not noticed? Are they just drunk all the time?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Violet and Isobel bid the family adieu at the train station. I thought they were taking a ship somewhere. That would have been a bit more interesting. I guess they’re just going somewhere else English to shoot at things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, everyone is doing a deep cleaning, since the family is away, which gives a great bookish setting for Molesley to question Daisy about her studies and for Daisy to once again wiffle-waffle about her education. Patmore calls her out because Patmore is the one who tells it like it is on this show. We are all Patmore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the fanciest train, the Crawleys all sit in one room without murdering each other or even suggesting murder. Maybe because the train is moving they feel less anxious in each other’s company? Like they could jump out at any time? Oh, wait! Spoke too soon! Miserable Mary suggests locking all the children up in a box in the attic and not letting them out until they are 21. Also: she doesn’t appear to be joking. She refers to herself as “the mother around here” and Donk gives a deep side-eye scowl to Cora. Edith, your secret ain’t safe for long!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Atticus' family’s “place” turns out to be a huge and magnificent castle! Downton now seems stupid. Remake the show please and, this time, set it at this fancy castle! Atticus' parents speak with yet another New Butler. The problem with character proliferation on Downton is thus: every time a new upper class person shows up, you know somewhere there’s going to be a servant-y type too. Basically the cast is increasing exponentially.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cars pull up to the castle, giving us another glimpse at this magnificent place. My main question, obviously, is how do they heat it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rose and Atticus, now married (if you know what I mean), greet the family at one of the doors. I imagine this place is just rife with doors. Atticus’ Mean Dad and Atticus’ Sweet Mom show up and the two families who just love each other to bits are in the same room once again. Soon, they will be shooting guns together!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the castle, Thomas introduces himself to the New Butler, who is extra mean which seems reasonable since a) his boss, Atticus’ Mean Dad, is also mean and b) no one in their right mind should ever be nice to Thomas. He smells weakness like sharks smell blood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, the Old Ladies Club meets in a garden to discuss the upcoming arrival of the Princess. Look, I thought this was the Christmas Special. It seems really warm for Christmas, if these ladies can have tea in a garden…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, there is a gauche tea in the library. Ugh, so not the place for tea. The New Butler is openly rude to Tom. I am sorry, but that is just not done, okay? He is a monument to the perfect and wonderful Sybbie and is the only one I trust with a car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Violet sets her two servants up to fight each other. Oh my god. Why am I even acknowledging this is happening?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall downstairs at the Abbey, Ross and Rachel talk about real estate. Bates goes to visit Anna in prison to, I'm assuming, talk more about real estate?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, everyone and some dogs get into horse-drawn carriages, which take them out to an open field. I can’t think of what is better than carts full of armed people who hate each other!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the killing field, Mary gives Atticus’ Mean Dad a lecture on family unity, while using some sort of special walking stick designed for weak females out in the field.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Behind a bush, Atticus’ Sweet Mom and Tom talk about not being accepted. I think it would be a bit more heartwarming without the loaded weapon in Tom’s hands, but that’s just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Behind a wall of some kind, Robert continues to evade Cora’s questions about his beginning-of-the-episode trip to York. Yeah, I should have mentioned this before, but I didn’t and now it’s come up three times so it’s obviously a thing. So sorry. Sue me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone keeps shooting and the shots ring out dramatically as the scene cuts to the Bateses in prison. Drab Anna-In-Prison reveals to Bates that her stepfather abused her when she was a kid and she cut him with a knife. That doesn’t seem like permissible evidence in this case. Does she have a lawyer?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, Non-Sneaky-Edith can\u003cem>not\u003c/em> stop talking about the children. The New Butler continues to be a total jerk to Tom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a real estate field trip, Ross and Rachel have some delightful patter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, some crazy wife-swapping is about to happen. The Prince is there, as well as Isobel and her man. Upstairs, the Princess readies herself for battle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Baxter dresses Mary (who is dressing Edith? WHO?!) and Mary tries to get Baxter to get Thomas to do something to make the New Butler look bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter relays Malevolent Mary’s message to Thomas, who isn’t that reformed after all and can’t wait to destroy the New Butler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the Princess enters the room. She is clearly a horrible woman who kind of rightfully hates Violet because, you know, her husband is in love with her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back the castle, Thomas sets his trap for the New Butler.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, a harpist plays and Atticus is such a sweetheart as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Patmore has set a romantic dinner for her favorites. It seems a lot nicer than the dinner in the castle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, the New Butler is still being overtly un-nice to Branson. Too bad for him because Thomas’ plan is working! His plan? Get the New Butler to serve a boring dinner! Atticus’ Mean Dad blows up at the New Butler and the Crawleys feel right at home (because every one of their meals involves yelling).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the wife swap is in full swing. The Princess is basically Debbie Downer, serving sad, deadpan one-liners to anyone who will listen. Even Sprat thinks she’s rude. Violet seems to have decided her love with the Prince shall never be. Why, Violet? \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw\" target=\"_blank\">You could have had it all!\u003c/a> Isobel’s Fancy Fiancé leaves with the Prince and the whole wife swap is abruptly turned into the usual: a meeting of the Old Ladies Society to talk about boyz.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Cora finally gets Donk to tell her what’s wrong, which turns out to be “pains in…[his] tummy.” (Yes, that was unfair quoting, but did you not giggle slightly?) Donk apparently has angina maybe, but don’t worry: he can still hunt! Since he’s on the verge of death, he decides to tell Edith that he knows her deep, dark, poorly kept secret.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the whole deal between Sprat and Violet’s Lady’s Maid is still, sadly, part of the plot. Can Violet’s Lady’s Maid make soup? Will we ever know?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Donk knocks on Edith’s door and Edith has her hair down and looks amazzzing. Edith for Cinderella!! Anyway, he’s there to tell Edith that he’s totes down and cool with Marigold being his granddaughter. They have a real nice father-daughter forgiveness moment. I feel so bad for Edith because tomorrow Donk will most likely come up to her and be like: “You know that whole thing last night? So sorry! I thought you were Mary because I was kinda sleepy and ate a big dinner and was maybe drunk...”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at the castle, Thomas is now pissed because yes, his light prank worked, but he was insulted by Atticus’ Mean Dad in the crossfire. Heads will roll!! Never cross Thomas. Now he’s going rogue. This is about to be a bender on evil. Just remember: relapse is part of recovery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the New Butler’s office, Thomas tries to ingratiate himself with the New Butler, who is now doing a handwriting comparison with all the staff to find out who wronged him. Oh, dang. Did Baxter write the offending note? Will Angel Baxter fall once more? Thomas gets the New Butler to sell out Atticus’ Mean Dad. Never be mean to Thomas, but, more importantly, never be nice to Thomas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a walk out on the grounds, the youngs discuss plans to move to America.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Violet’s Lady’s Maid engages Patmore and Daisy to make her soup for Violet. Snooze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just when you thought you couldn’t get any sleepier…the Bateses are in jail, talking about things again. Seriously, did the writing staff just decide they wanted to go on a little vaycay and could completely recycle this entire plot line and just switch which Bates is in jail and no one would even notice? I’m a little offended, writers! Do you know how closely I watch this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Isobel’s sitting room, she and her Fancy Fiancé (I hope!) are in the midst of real serious relationship talk. Isobel is like, I will \u003cem>not\u003c/em> be an evil stepmother! So the Fancy Fiancé decides to put a hit out on his children.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the Downton kitchen, the Lady’s Maid has ruined her soup. Seriously, how hard is it to make soup? That is like one thing I am totally capable of making and I can barely cook toast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the \u003cem>Orange is the New Black\u003c/em> crossover, the prison is boring as heck. Where is Red? Where is Crazy Eyes? I was led to believe a women’s prison would be a fun good time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, the New Butler is regretting his drunk over-sharing with Thomas. Too bad, dude. Your fate is sealed. Try again next time! Morally Bankrupt Mary is pre-angry at an uninvited guest, who is taking Atticus’s spot hunting tomorrow. I bet he’s her true love. She’s also present-moment angry at Donk and Edith, who are BFFs now that Donk is dying and Edith is out to him as a mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the special Ross and Rachel side room at Downton, Ross is ready to toast their new future as bed and breakfast owners, but Rachel has to let Ross down because—plot twist!—Rachel has no money because she’s been sending all her money to the caretaker of her “not quite right in the head” sister. Oh, Rachel! You are an even bigger angel than Baxter. Their intimate discussion about siblings, investments and real estate is interrupted by a very worried Bates, who has received a telegram from the lawyer that apparently said: “Bad news! Call me.” That seems like a rude telegram to send! Just say: “Call me.” You’re the lawyer. He’s going to call you stat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle’s shooting grounds, love is in the air. Edith is paired up with the Agent who, if you’ll remember, “everyone feels a bit sorry for.” Classic Edith. Mary is somehow paired up with the Hanger On she’s been dogging the whole episode. The Hanger On is a Benedict Cumberbatch look-alike who is terrible at shooting and who Mary has decided to torture, her favorite form of flirting, over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another corner of the field, Edith follows her sister’s lead and does some of her own flirting over guns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, Daisy is terrible at subterfuge.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Violet’s garden, Isobel has a letter from Larry the Petulant Drugger who really, really doesn’t want a new mommy. This is always what happens when you don’t teach children boundaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, it’s raining and the Lawyer is apparently \u003cem>telephoning \u003c/em>Donk about Criminal Anna things (they’ve set a date for her trial), even though he can only telegram Bates. Donk’s tummy problem is acting up so tragically Cora won’t allow him to play with guns anymore this afternoon, which solves everyone’s problems since now Atticus can shoot. Really, these guys are just terrible at taking turns.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a lunch outside at the castle, Mary is in full-swing in her torture-flirting and Benedict Cumberbatch is eating it up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen at Violet’s, Sprat calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid out on the fact that Daisy actually made the soup in this terrible subplot. Problem: Violet’s Lady’s Maid is using a very large knife. Sadly, she does not turn the knife on Sprat and instead watches him pour the soup down the drain. Open a can, dude! It’s not that hard!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere, a child steps out of a car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, it turns out that’s where the kid was getting out of the car! And who is this kid? Well, it seems like it might be the illegitimate child of Atticus’ Mean Dad. Rose thinks on her feet to save her new father-in-law and pretends the mom of the kid who got out of the car is her BFF. Somehow, this works. Turns out Thomas decided to go nuclear on everyone and telegrammed Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Mistress and told her to bring his other son. Classic Thomas. Luckily, Mary loves subterfuge and also improv so she gets in on the game of pretending to know Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Mistress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Bates is all dressed in black and seems to be giving his notice in letter form to Molesley to give to Carson. We all know what a goof Molesley is! Hilarity will ensue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Rose bids goodbye to the Mistress and Edith chats up her new love interest, the Agent. Rose blackmails Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Butler, while Mary looks on proudly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall before dinner, Atticus’ Mean Dad stops Mary, Rose and Donk to thank them for not selling him out to his family and then totally changes his position on Rose being his daughter-in-law. Take note, ladies: If your father-in-law hates you, help him avoid an embarrassing situation with his mistress! #WifeTips\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs at Downton, Carson has opened the letter from Bates and apparently it isn't a notice but a confession to the murder of the Rapist. But, duh, they know it was a girl, Bates! Anyway, Sherlock Molesley is on the case! Find Bates and prove his innocence!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the castle, there’s a gramophone in the library and everyone is dancing. Mary is, of course, dancing with Benedict Cumberbatch and trying to remain as uninterested as a person can while dancing with another person. He quizzes her about the earlier appearance of the Mistress and she’s impressed that he noticed what was going on, even though you would have to be deaf and blind not to see what was happening. Speaking of obvious situations everyone is trying to pretend away, Tom finally tells Edith he also knows Marigold isn’t some random foundling. Now it’s just Mary who doesn’t know and mainly she just doesn’t care. Edith dances off with the Agent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Bateses cottage, Molesley is on the hunt for exculpatory evidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the castle, Benedict Cumberbatch and Mary share some last-minute flirting until he tells her his real passion is for cars. Oh my god! Stay away from sun-dappled lanes!! Mary, however, seems to have forgotten her long, dark history with automotives and is left weak in the knees as her new love interest speeds off. “Matthew who?” you can almost hear the wind whisper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The cars pull up to Downton and the children come out for their customary parade and Carson tells Donk that Bates is gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, no one knows what to do now that two main employees are gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, no one knows what to do now that two main employees are gone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it turns out that Sherlock Molesley has a Watson of his very own; Baxter offers to help him vindicate Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Donk and Cora’s bedroom, the Lord and Lady conspire to keep Bates-related evidence out of the hands of the authorities.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The lawyer and Anna arrive at Downton, but, while free, she is sad because Bates One is on the run in Ireland and all freedom really is for her is dressing bratty adult women, constant anxiety that Bates will get caught and probably a sprinkling of PTSD to round it out. Prison was probably better, is what she’s thinking now. Crazy Eyes was so fun at that Christmas Pageant! She could have gotten really serious about her yoga practice!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Violet’s, the moment we’ve all been waiting on the edge of our seats for has arrived! Violet must taste the soup made for her by her Lady’s Maid, while Sprat looks on gleefully. What will she do? How bad is it?? But Violet is nothing but classy and spiteful towards Sprat so she pronounces the broth “delicious” and goes to bed, where we all hope this story line is finally going too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he isn’t about to go meet Isis in Heaven but instead has an ulcer. Womp. Good news though: the Art Guy’s favorite painting sold for like a lot of money.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the windfall means that Carson is hiring a new footman. Oh, just what we need, a new cast member to remember. Thomas and Daisy who have similar taste in men make a bid for the New Cast Member from Rose’s Wedding. He’s pretty cute so I say, yes, go with him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Suddenly, it is Christmas 1924 and I feel a Tom and Baby Sybbie sized lump in my throat. Never leave us, you two! The New Cast Member has been hired and his name is Andy, which I think I can handle. The babies and their parents trim a massive tree and Baby Sybbie has the presence of mind to use her adorable British accent to say words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a snowy town, Sherlock and Watson look for someone who remembers seeing Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their special room, Hughes wraps a gift for Carson. Carson tells Hughes that he bought their dream house himself. When is he going to invite Hughes to live with him there, happily ever after?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Sherlock and Watson present their new Bates-saving evidence to the Crawleys.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In their bedroom, Cora and Donk discuss the particulars of contacting the soon-to-be-cleared (again) Bates. Also: ulcers. Such pillow talk between these two!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Christmas is looking fancy. I can’t be sure, but I think they may be having a bacon wrapped goose? Okay, I will eat that. Everyone encourages Daisy to study because no one knows what they want around here!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Isobel’s, she’s finally showing the nasty letter from Larry the Drugger to his dad, her Fancy Fiancé. She breaks up with him because he’s got a stupid son, even though the Fancy Fiancé is the best and so nice and so rich. Violet comes in on them during the breakup and the ladies both mention, almost as an afterthought, how “sad” the whole thing is. Sad?! Heart breaking! You should be crying, Isobel! You just let the terrorists win!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lonely Anna sits alone in her cottage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith and Tom talk over the children’s stockings. Mary comes in so Tom decides they should have a Christmas séance for Sybil. Donk walks by and makes a play to keep Baby Sybbie for himself. Oh, Donk. Not happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the whole village sings Christmas carols around the tree. Rose teaches Atticus the words because he’s a Jew so he’s never heard a Christmas carol before. Donk, it appears, is drunk, since he’s been abstaining from alcohol for awhile due to his non-lethal ulcer. Violet’s Lady’s Maid also drinks liberally from the punch bowl. Rose and Atticus talk about how awesome and exciting it is to be married. Next thing you know, Rose is going to be starting a blog about her super cool life as a wife, which will turn into a fashion blog and then a mommy blog. Watch out, world! As usual, Thomas and Daisy both flirt with the same guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, the Old Ladies Society have a special Christmas meeting to tell the best boyz story of all, the love story of Violet and her Prince. Drunk Donk breaks up the meeting though, as jovially as possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the party, Drunk Donk is about to give a speech! Scandal! Fortunately, as his final good act in Britain, Tom saves him by starting a round of \"He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.\" Then Mary sings \"Silent Night\" while Edith plays. When did they ever spend enough time in the same room to practice? Also, why do none of these versions of these songs rhyme? Is that a British thing, to not rhyme your song lyrics?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson brings Hughes down to their special room and tells her he put their dream house in both of their names. She’s like, “Look, I can’t let you do this amazing thing for me! I don’t want to tie you down!” And he’s like, “Oh, Hughes! I want to be, metaphorically and maybe literally, I don’t know, tied down by you! Will you marry me??” Finally! I don’t know what comes next, but that was the best moment of the season and this slow-burn romance better get a spinoff where they own a bed and breakfast together! With Patmore as the cook! Can you even imagine?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the party, Drunk Donk tells Tom that he actually likes him now and then proceeds to give a speech to the entire village about how great Tom is. As the whole town joins together to sing “O Come All Ye Faithful,” Bates appears at a door and then sneaks up behind Anna and whispers into her ear. While a normal person would probably scream at that, Anna seems pretty stoked and Bates forgets he’s lame, literally, for a minute and picks Anna up into the air.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> Episode Character Ranking:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Violet:\u003c/strong> She gets ranked this week for her great love story and the sly bit about how she totally continued to cheat on her husband.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baby Sybbie:\u003c/strong> She coined the terms “Donk” and now she’s passing it on to her cousin Marigold. Kudos, girlfriend! You’re a pretty cool baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Tom:\u003c/strong> Without Tom, Edith and Mary will murder each other. It’s going to make for a bloody but interesting season. Still, I will miss Tom and his cute face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Carson:\u003c/strong> Finally, he got the guts to propose to his Rachel and it was magnificent. I love you, old guy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong> 1. Hughes:\u003c/strong> When Carson asks her to marry him, she doesn’t mess around. She says: “I thought you’d never ask.” That is how a proposal should go. That is how a season should end.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Season Character Ranking \u003c/strong>(Scientifically-ish based on total season scores!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Patmore: \u003c/strong>While this season wasn't especially meaty (get it? she's a cook!) for Patmore, she's always a solid character and one of my favorites. Glad to see she made it in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tied for 4: Mary and Hughes: \u003c/strong>I'm offended at myself for allowing the worst and the best elements of Downton to tie for such a paltry spot. Mary started strong but became unbearable, whereas Hughes was, as usual, the backbone of the whole gosh darn house!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3: Violet: \u003c/strong>Violet came through this season by having an affair with a prince. We have to respect that, whether or not we agree with her decision to not move to Paris with him and live out the rest of their days in bliss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Edith: \u003c/strong>Edith deserves every happiness she has by the end of this season, especially now that we know that Mary is probably going to murder her at the end of next season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Tom Branson: \u003c/strong>Oh, Tom! I can't stand to see you and Baby Sybbie leave, but thank god they didn't drive you down a sun-dappled lane. Maybe you guys can come back for a guest spot in next year's Christmas Special?? If you promise to come, I promise to recap again. One more time for old time's sake. I love you, Tom! RIP Sybil!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thank you guys for following along with me this season! It's been fun and sad and hard. We lost dogs to cancer and potential husbands to Hitler. But we're still here! Next year, I predict Edith will marry the Agent, Mary will marry Benedict Cumberbatch, Donk will get another tummy ache, and Hughes and Carson will finally kiss! See you then!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Beyond Spock: 10 Videos to Celebrate the Long and Prosperous Life of Leonard Nimoy",
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"content": "\u003cp>Some actors are so ingrained in our popular culture that it is difficult to imagine things carrying on without them. Leonard Nimoy, best known for his role as Mr. Spock on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, is one of these actors. \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/arts/television/leonard-nimoy-spock-of-star-trek-dies-at-83.html?action=click&contentCollection=Television&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article\">He died this morning\u003c/a> due to complications from end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He was 83.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compiling all of his best moments is nearly impossible, but one must start somewhere. Since his work on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em> is well-documented, let's celebrate his long and prosperous life through some of his other work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nimoy's first major role was in a movie called \u003cem>Kid Monk Baroni\u003c/em>, in which he played a street punk turned boxer who needs to overcome his misshaped face through plastic surgery. Unsurprisingly, the movie tanked and Nimoy has said that it was the kind of film that \"made unknowns out of celebrities.\" But sometimes something bad can travel over the border into good. You be the judge:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY-_be78HgU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy shared the screen in an episode of \u003ci>The Man from U.N.C.L.E.\u003c/i>, playing characters from either side of the Iron Curtain. They were meant to be!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSQ3UqBKJ0o\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, he joined \u003cem>Mission Impossible. \u003c/em>This video compilation captures some of the sleuthing and all of the making out with hot girls the role required:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPwkjMaysUM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Columbo kept it together most of the time. Nimoy played a murderous doctor that was able to get Columbo \u003cem>really\u003c/em> pissed:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=golLNTQCxko\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits and Bilbo Baggins. I repeat: Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits and Bilbo Baggins! This clip is too good to be true, and yet, here it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGF5ROpjRAU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nimoy memorably got a bottle smashed over his head in Philip Kaufman's remake of \u003ci>Invasion of the Body Snatchers\u003c/i>. Is it wrong to root for the \"bad guy\"?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goh7zOeOS_U\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In 1982, he received an Emmy nomination for playing Morris Meyerson in \u003cem>A Woman Called Golda\u003c/em>, opposite Ingrid Bergman as Golda Meir in her final role. He was also nominated in 1967, 1968, and 1969 for his work on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>. He never won. Let's never watch the Emmys again, okay?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we3GRZAjr4Q\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Fringe\u003c/em> is a show that explores the existence of a parallel universe, so who better to get to star as a mysterious doctor than Leonard Nimoy? Answer: No one is better!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_go1SU1oJ0\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In his later years, Nimoy preferred voice acting. In this cameo from \u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>, he voices a Spock doll, making so many geek dreams come true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvNXolkz8-c\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm not sure how Nimoy ended up in a Bruno Mars music video, but I'm glad it happened. Nimoy flips people off, buys dirty magazines, plays with nunchuks, and roams around town in his robe and long johns. This is what perfection looks like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dULOjT9GYdQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This post could go on and on because Nimoy's career was so vast. Feel free to leave any favorite Nimoy moments I missed in the comments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only way to sign off is with Leonard's last tweet. I advise you to grab a tissue before reading it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/TheRealNimoy/status/569762773204217857\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Some actors are so ingrained in our popular culture that it is difficult to imagine things carrying on without them. Leonard Nimoy, best known for his role as Mr. Spock on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, is one of these actors. \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/arts/television/leonard-nimoy-spock-of-star-trek-dies-at-83.html?action=click&contentCollection=Television&module=RelatedCoverage®ion=Marginalia&pgtype=article\">He died this morning\u003c/a> due to complications from end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He was 83.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compiling all of his best moments is nearly impossible, but one must start somewhere. Since his work on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em> is well-documented, let's celebrate his long and prosperous life through some of his other work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nimoy's first major role was in a movie called \u003cem>Kid Monk Baroni\u003c/em>, in which he played a street punk turned boxer who needs to overcome his misshaped face through plastic surgery. Unsurprisingly, the movie tanked and Nimoy has said that it was the kind of film that \"made unknowns out of celebrities.\" But sometimes something bad can travel over the border into good. You be the judge:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/JY-_be78HgU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/JY-_be78HgU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Before \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy shared the screen in an episode of \u003ci>The Man from U.N.C.L.E.\u003c/i>, playing characters from either side of the Iron Curtain. They were meant to be!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/LSQ3UqBKJ0o'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/LSQ3UqBKJ0o'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>After \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>, he joined \u003cem>Mission Impossible. \u003c/em>This video compilation captures some of the sleuthing and all of the making out with hot girls the role required:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/wPwkjMaysUM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/wPwkjMaysUM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Columbo kept it together most of the time. Nimoy played a murderous doctor that was able to get Columbo \u003cem>really\u003c/em> pissed:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/golLNTQCxko'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/golLNTQCxko'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits and Bilbo Baggins. I repeat: Leonard Nimoy singing about hobbits and Bilbo Baggins! This clip is too good to be true, and yet, here it is!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/AGF5ROpjRAU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/AGF5ROpjRAU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Nimoy memorably got a bottle smashed over his head in Philip Kaufman's remake of \u003ci>Invasion of the Body Snatchers\u003c/i>. Is it wrong to root for the \"bad guy\"?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/goh7zOeOS_U'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/goh7zOeOS_U'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In 1982, he received an Emmy nomination for playing Morris Meyerson in \u003cem>A Woman Called Golda\u003c/em>, opposite Ingrid Bergman as Golda Meir in her final role. He was also nominated in 1967, 1968, and 1969 for his work on \u003cem>Star Trek\u003c/em>. He never won. Let's never watch the Emmys again, okay?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/we3GRZAjr4Q'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/we3GRZAjr4Q'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Fringe\u003c/em> is a show that explores the existence of a parallel universe, so who better to get to star as a mysterious doctor than Leonard Nimoy? Answer: No one is better!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/p_go1SU1oJ0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/p_go1SU1oJ0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>In his later years, Nimoy preferred voice acting. In this cameo from \u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>, he voices a Spock doll, making so many geek dreams come true.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/OvNXolkz8-c'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/OvNXolkz8-c'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>I'm not sure how Nimoy ended up in a Bruno Mars music video, but I'm glad it happened. Nimoy flips people off, buys dirty magazines, plays with nunchuks, and roams around town in his robe and long johns. This is what perfection looks like:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/dULOjT9GYdQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/dULOjT9GYdQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>This post could go on and on because Nimoy's career was so vast. Feel free to leave any favorite Nimoy moments I missed in the comments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only way to sign off is with Leonard's last tweet. I advise you to grab a tissue before reading it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 8 Recap: London Calling",
"title": "'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 8 Recap: London Calling",
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"content": "\u003cp>We are here! The Penultimate Episode! Suddenly, I am feeling sad and pre-nostalgic for this season. Is this the end? Does all the talk of changing times and America and real estate mean we’re soon to part ways forever? Maybe after next season? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Only time will tell. \u003c/a>Until then, \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas looks positively not-dying. Serious and in charge and not smoking in a corner. Is this a new Team-Player Thomas? He’s handing lists off to people in a non-sneaky way. I don’t know. I’ll believe it when he's four years clean from being the Bad Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Patmore and Daisy are working on what appears to be a wedding cake! OMG. Either Rose is about to get hitched or Isobel is. Either way, tension and drama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a room somewhere, the future bride appears to be Rose, who is trying on outfits in front of the ladies. The whole team is there except for Edith obviously because she’s just no fun. The team does some exposition on such important topics as mixed-religion marriages and the status of Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes does a little exposition of her own, letting all those O’Brien fans out there know that we will not be seeing her at Rose’s nuptials (she left Cora for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife, you may remember). I guess they couldn’t pay her enough to get her back for one entertaining episode? It also seems that Rose’s parents are dead broke and that Atticus’ Rich Dad (trying to ignore the blatant stereotyping here of my people) is going to save the whole family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Robert \"Donk\" Grantham is playing Chutes and Ladders with Baby Sybbie. Look, I know in Britain it’s called “Snakes and Ladders,” but this is America and I play by American rules here. In a surprise move, Mary calls her dad Donk too and she possibly earns herself a spot in tonight’s rankings. Edith plays with a very strangely vacant-looking Marigold and talks to Tom about the machine business in Massachusetts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it appears that the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is coming back to interrogate both Mr. and Mrs. Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary is pissed that Edith is 1000x better at being a mom than her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter continues to try to ingratiate herself to the Bateses, but those Mean Girls would rather die in prison than be nice to her for one single second.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, Baxter puts the moves on Molesley (tells him she’ll go to a museum with him in London). The war memorial plot line pops up again because apparently it’s just like the most interesting thing ever and so they have to unveil it after the wedding. So the final episode is going to be about the war memorial? My pre-nostalgia is fading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager’s house, the Prince is waiting in the drawing room and Violet is going to put on her lavender day dress! Are they finally going to kiss?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Carson and Donk discuss the war memorial and I take a nap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her drawing room, the Prince is propositioning Violet: “I wish to spend my final years with you…as a friend, as a lover.” OH MY GOD! Make. Out. Now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is trying to victim blame Anna and also murder-blame her. I mean, do we know she didn’t do it? I feel like she was convinced Bates One did it so it can’t be her. Or is that a trick?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk is talking to a guy about making plans for a tombstone for Isis, the Dog Who Is Not Affiliated With Any Terrorist Organization.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowagers, nothing interesting happens with her help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna considers telling the cops that the Rapist was also her rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone leaves for London except for the babies because this isn’t Fashion Week, am I right?? Donk is sort of suspicious about Marigold, but he’s not very smart so he’s not sure why he’s suspicious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, enter a New Cast Member to help out the Downstairs Team at the wedding. He’s tall and handsome. Is Thomas going to finally have a real love interest as a prize for good behavior?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife also arrive in London with sour expressions and no personal attendants. Immediately, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife causes a scene by refusing to share a room with her husband. Ugh. So mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Rose tries to bond with Shrimpy’s Mean Wife a.k.a. her mom. It goes just okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Anna’s plot thickens as does the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member as Thomas straightens the New Cast Member’s bow tie and the New Cast Member sort of grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room in London, Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife sort of bicker, as the Crawley’s await the arrival of Atticus’ family. It seems like Shrimpy’s Mean Wife and Atticus’ Mean Dad are going to really try to sabotage this whole true love thing. Rose should have definitely tried to marry the Jazz Singer first or maybe a woman. Then this whole thing would have gone down so easily!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Hughes still doesn’t tell Carson what really happened to Anna, though she should because love’s all about honesty, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife starts off by asking her future Jewish in laws/meal ticket racist questions. Atticus’ Mean Dad retorts by telling Rose she isn’t a Chosen Person. The talk then turns to Atticus’ Bachelor Party (see Snakes and Ladders; this is America and that’s not a Stag Party). I didn’t know they had Bachelor Parties in the 1920s, but apparently it’s “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1904885,00.html\" target=\"_blank\">rooted in ancient history\u003c/a>.\" Then, a bit out of left field if you ask me, Atticus’ Mean Dad mentions how much he hates divorce and it’s like the worst thing he’s ever heard of. Shrimpy’s Mean Wife implies she’s about to get a divorce.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Violet and Isobel talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Terrible Mom/Sister Mary gets in like 15 negs on Edith in the space of two minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bedroom, Donk and Cora talk like a proper husband and wife who don’t hate each other’s guts. Yeah. Sure. Totally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife gives Carson a letter. Obviously this means something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore lovingly yells at Daisy and then submits when Donk goads her into going to the war memorial unveiling. He must have something planned; my guess is a little stone memorial of her nephew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Scotland Yard, Anna is put in a lineup of what I hope are other victims of her Rapist. I am hoping for a scene in which they all, one by one, stand up and say “I did it” and then none of them go to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it seems like Violet’s Lady’s Maid has designs on the New Cast Member who is Thomas’s! Step down, lady! Patmore and Daisy get into existentialism and then decide, like, never mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, the Crawley’s openly despise each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At \u003cem>The Hangover: Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, Atticus is wasted and a lady is putting the moves on him in an elevator, but he very kindly puts her off. Until she shows up in his room and does some weird stuff with her outfit. Fact: I said “Ooooh” when this happened because I realized that this must be what Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s letter was about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member continues to build. Hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At lunch in London, Troll Mary has picked the location of Edith and Michael’s first date for the sibling pre-marriage luncheon. That general sisterly unkindness is completely overshadowed by the motherly unkindness of pictures of Atticus with “a tart of some kind” sent by messenger. Rose breaks down at luncheon and then Tom, a genius of some kind, tells her to talk to Atticus about it! What?! Has he seen this show?? Never talk to your spouse or potential spouse about anything important ever! Tom then suggests Atticus’ Mean Dad is behind the dirty pics. Right track, Tom, wrong evil parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson debate systematic racial injustice and personal intolerance. Then Violet’s Lady’s Maid continues her play for the New Cast Member.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in a garden, Molesley walks with his harem and they discuss the transformative power of art. Daisy says, “I feel as if I’ve been down a coal hall and someone’s opened a lid and brought me into the sunlight.” I, unable to contain myself, said, “Oh, god.” So now Daisy’s an Art Major? The threesome see Rose and Atticus fighting in the park and Beyonce Baxter says: “You’re never safe 'til the ring’s on your finger.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Atticus’ house, Atticus confronts Atticus’ Mean Dad about the dirty pic scandal. The Mean Dad is like, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t think our legacy is worth throwing away for “this little shiksa.” Okay now, is it just me or does Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Yiddish sound really forced? This is the first time we’re hearing it and I’m not convinced at all. Atticus’ Mean Dad gives Atticus a lecture on Judaism right before Rose et al. arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before the dinner, everyone tries to act normal as true love sort of falls apart. Mary tries to hide how happy it makes her that true love is falling apart by talking about murdering Edith. Mary, you are a monster. Rose quickly forgives Atticus and they join together as an team of Encyclopedia Browns to find their saboteur. Shrimpy and the Olds get together to explain that the Empire is collapsing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas, the pot, calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid, the kettle, black by telling her to stop being a bully. Takes one to know one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy complains about how art has changed her life so much she has to move to London now and experience the real world. Patmore almost starts crying because, even though Daisy’s become an obnoxious brat, she’s still \u003cem>her\u003c/em> obnoxious brat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady’s Maid are missing. Where oh where have they gone and when oh when will Thomas rescue him?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s room, Shrimpy is waiting for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife because he, like us, knows that she is the villain behind the Atticus dirty pic situation. Turns out he has proof in the form of a checkbook stub! Always pay in cash when you are trying to sabotage your daughter’s happiness!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he’s selling the art that the Art Guy loved so much. Cora looks sad because that guy was honestly nice to her and a lot better of a human than Donk. Rose and the old ladies talk about happiness, love, boyz, etc. and then Carson comes in to tell Violet that her Lady’s Maid is “sick.” Mary and Branson talk about how Tom is leaving for America after Christmas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Violet’s Lady’s Maid is waaaasted. Daisy goes to make her coffee and finds Patmore sobbing. Ugh, now I am almost crying. Patmore and Daisy are the truest love in the world!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas has clearly decided to use his Powers of Sneakiness for good, to rescue the poor New Cast Member from Violet’s Drunk and Gambling Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a registry office, which is not a church, Mary is dressed up again like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>. Because her dirty pics thing didn’t ruin her daughter’s marriage, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife decides to announce that she and Shrimpy are getting divorced. The move backfires because true love cannot be stopped, even by the World’s Second Worst Mom (Mary is clearly the worst).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs up to the registry office, Shrimpy and Rose share a moment of happiness away from their tormentor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sets a trap for Violet’s Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the wedding party, Tony is holding hands with the Girl He Jilted. They come over to Mary and make her delightfully uncomfortable, enough so that she makes an awkward comment about going to their wedding. Edith and Donk have an almost meaningful conversation, until he sees Mary and remembers he doesn’t like Edith and walks off. Tony and Mary debrief about their sex vacation and Carson, who still likes Mary apparently for some unknowable reason, looks on. Rose confronts her mother and tells her she doesn’t know what love is and then moves on to the next guest. A racist gets shut down by Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Mary complains to Carson about how things change. Luckily, Carson also hates change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a basement, Thomas prepares to finally use his trickiness for good. Seriously, is this ever actually going to happen? There's been a lot of build up on this one. Thomas, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady Maid go into a literally underground club called The Velvet Violin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her room, Anna sensually dresses Mary. Sadly, they are interrupted by Anna’s arrest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Velvet Violin, Thomas wins a bunch of money to pay off the New Cast Member’s debt. Not exactly dramatic but nice, I guess. He then sells out the Lady’s Maid to a Sinister Boss with a Mustache. Thomas and the New Cast Member leave and, in the corridor heading out of the basement, Thomas refers to himself as “your uncle Thomas.” I can’t decide if that’s creepy or amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the Velvet Violin, the Lady’s Maid is forced to pay for her drinks. What a dramatic conclusion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, Anna is getting cuffed and Mary is pissed. Bates is really angry and so are the Crawleys because seriously, how many Bates are they going to have to get off of spurious murder charges??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you forgot, it’s time for the war memorial unveiling! The show must go one, apparently, even though Anna the Unblemished is in jail (question: is this God punishing her for aiding and abetting the sex vacation?). The memorial is unveiled and everyone is like war is bad but also good, kinda? As I predicted what seems like five hours ago, Donk has prepared a tiny little memorial for Patmore’s nephew so when the music swells, he can once again be a hero! Super dense Donk finally takes a long look at Edith and realizes that Marigold is her child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a path in the village, Daisy decides not to go to London after all. Bates implies to Mary that he’s going to take the fall or something for the Rapist’s murder, even though that’s not going to happen since the cops know it was a lady. Unless he’s implying that Mary killed him? She \u003cem>is\u003c/em> stone cold so that's totally possible. Isobel and Violet both seem to decide to fight for true love! Edith and Tom say nice things to each other and Carson and Hughes say nice things to each other. Donk admits that he doesn’t think he’ll hate Marigold now that he knows she’s his progeny. And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Character Ranking:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> What a great dad who picked a truly awful wife. Also, he's called Shrimpy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baxter:\u003c/strong> Besides being an angel from Heaven, Baxter is a great Molesley-seductress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Molesly:\u003c/strong> So into the arts now! Opening up worlds for people! Not being annoying about it! How wonderful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Tom:\u003c/strong> Soon Tom will go to America and it will be a tragedy because he's the only thing keeping Mary from literally murdering Edith.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Patmore:\u003c/strong> Patmore is the best character on this show and, this week, her cake was lovely, she got to cry for Daisy and her nephew got a memorial! What a mitzvah, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/15/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-7-recap-dog-days-are-over/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 7 Recap: Dog Days Are Over\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, wedding bells are ringing, but they're not loud enough to drown out all the anti-Semitic comments.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>We are here! The Penultimate Episode! Suddenly, I am feeling sad and pre-nostalgic for this season. Is this the end? Does all the talk of changing times and America and real estate mean we’re soon to part ways forever? Maybe after next season? \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/29/is-downton-abbey-really-over-heres-how-it-should-end/\" target=\"_blank\">Only time will tell. \u003c/a>Until then, \u003cstrong>spoiler alert\u003c/strong>. Here we go!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas looks positively not-dying. Serious and in charge and not smoking in a corner. Is this a new Team-Player Thomas? He’s handing lists off to people in a non-sneaky way. I don’t know. I’ll believe it when he's four years clean from being the Bad Guy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Patmore and Daisy are working on what appears to be a wedding cake! OMG. Either Rose is about to get hitched or Isobel is. Either way, tension and drama!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a room somewhere, the future bride appears to be Rose, who is trying on outfits in front of the ladies. The whole team is there except for Edith obviously because she’s just no fun. The team does some exposition on such important topics as mixed-religion marriages and the status of Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes does a little exposition of her own, letting all those O’Brien fans out there know that we will not be seeing her at Rose’s nuptials (she left Cora for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife, you may remember). I guess they couldn’t pay her enough to get her back for one entertaining episode? It also seems that Rose’s parents are dead broke and that Atticus’ Rich Dad (trying to ignore the blatant stereotyping here of my people) is going to save the whole family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Robert \"Donk\" Grantham is playing Chutes and Ladders with Baby Sybbie. Look, I know in Britain it’s called “Snakes and Ladders,” but this is America and I play by American rules here. In a surprise move, Mary calls her dad Donk too and she possibly earns herself a spot in tonight’s rankings. Edith plays with a very strangely vacant-looking Marigold and talks to Tom about the machine business in Massachusetts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it appears that the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is coming back to interrogate both Mr. and Mrs. Bates.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room, Mary is pissed that Edith is 1000x better at being a mom than her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Baxter continues to try to ingratiate herself to the Bateses, but those Mean Girls would rather die in prison than be nice to her for one single second.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the downstairs table, Baxter puts the moves on Molesley (tells him she’ll go to a museum with him in London). The war memorial plot line pops up again because apparently it’s just like the most interesting thing ever and so they have to unveil it after the wedding. So the final episode is going to be about the war memorial? My pre-nostalgia is fading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager’s house, the Prince is waiting in the drawing room and Violet is going to put on her lavender day dress! Are they finally going to kiss?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Carson and Donk discuss the war memorial and I take a nap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her drawing room, the Prince is propositioning Violet: “I wish to spend my final years with you…as a friend, as a lover.” OH MY GOD! Make. Out. Now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the \u003cem>Law & Order\u003c/em> team is trying to victim blame Anna and also murder-blame her. I mean, do we know she didn’t do it? I feel like she was convinced Bates One did it so it can’t be her. Or is that a trick?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the library, Donk is talking to a guy about making plans for a tombstone for Isis, the Dog Who Is Not Affiliated With Any Terrorist Organization.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowagers, nothing interesting happens with her help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Anna considers telling the cops that the Rapist was also her rapist.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone leaves for London except for the babies because this isn’t Fashion Week, am I right?? Donk is sort of suspicious about Marigold, but he’s not very smart so he’s not sure why he’s suspicious.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, enter a New Cast Member to help out the Downstairs Team at the wedding. He’s tall and handsome. Is Thomas going to finally have a real love interest as a prize for good behavior?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife also arrive in London with sour expressions and no personal attendants. Immediately, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife causes a scene by refusing to share a room with her husband. Ugh. So mean.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Rose tries to bond with Shrimpy’s Mean Wife a.k.a. her mom. It goes just okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Anna’s plot thickens as does the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member as Thomas straightens the New Cast Member’s bow tie and the New Cast Member sort of grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the drawing room in London, Shrimpy and Shrimpy’s Mean Wife sort of bicker, as the Crawley’s await the arrival of Atticus’ family. It seems like Shrimpy’s Mean Wife and Atticus’ Mean Dad are going to really try to sabotage this whole true love thing. Rose should have definitely tried to marry the Jazz Singer first or maybe a woman. Then this whole thing would have gone down so easily!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs in London, Hughes still doesn’t tell Carson what really happened to Anna, though she should because love’s all about honesty, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At dinner, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife starts off by asking her future Jewish in laws/meal ticket racist questions. Atticus’ Mean Dad retorts by telling Rose she isn’t a Chosen Person. The talk then turns to Atticus’ Bachelor Party (see Snakes and Ladders; this is America and that’s not a Stag Party). I didn’t know they had Bachelor Parties in the 1920s, but apparently it’s “\u003ca href=\"http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1904885,00.html\" target=\"_blank\">rooted in ancient history\u003c/a>.\" Then, a bit out of left field if you ask me, Atticus’ Mean Dad mentions how much he hates divorce and it’s like the worst thing he’s ever heard of. Shrimpy’s Mean Wife implies she’s about to get a divorce.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Violet and Isobel talk about boyz as usual.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Terrible Mom/Sister Mary gets in like 15 negs on Edith in the space of two minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a bedroom, Donk and Cora talk like a proper husband and wife who don’t hate each other’s guts. Yeah. Sure. Totally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the hall, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife gives Carson a letter. Obviously this means something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Patmore lovingly yells at Daisy and then submits when Donk goads her into going to the war memorial unveiling. He must have something planned; my guess is a little stone memorial of her nephew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Scotland Yard, Anna is put in a lineup of what I hope are other victims of her Rapist. I am hoping for a scene in which they all, one by one, stand up and say “I did it” and then none of them go to jail.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, it seems like Violet’s Lady’s Maid has designs on the New Cast Member who is Thomas’s! Step down, lady! Patmore and Daisy get into existentialism and then decide, like, never mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, the Crawley’s openly despise each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At \u003cem>The Hangover: Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, Atticus is wasted and a lady is putting the moves on him in an elevator, but he very kindly puts her off. Until she shows up in his room and does some weird stuff with her outfit. Fact: I said “Ooooh” when this happened because I realized that this must be what Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s letter was about.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the tension between Thomas and the New Cast Member continues to build. Hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At lunch in London, Troll Mary has picked the location of Edith and Michael’s first date for the sibling pre-marriage luncheon. That general sisterly unkindness is completely overshadowed by the motherly unkindness of pictures of Atticus with “a tart of some kind” sent by messenger. Rose breaks down at luncheon and then Tom, a genius of some kind, tells her to talk to Atticus about it! What?! Has he seen this show?? Never talk to your spouse or potential spouse about anything important ever! Tom then suggests Atticus’ Mean Dad is behind the dirty pics. Right track, Tom, wrong evil parent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Hughes and Carson debate systematic racial injustice and personal intolerance. Then Violet’s Lady’s Maid continues her play for the New Cast Member.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Somewhere in a garden, Molesley walks with his harem and they discuss the transformative power of art. Daisy says, “I feel as if I’ve been down a coal hall and someone’s opened a lid and brought me into the sunlight.” I, unable to contain myself, said, “Oh, god.” So now Daisy’s an Art Major? The threesome see Rose and Atticus fighting in the park and Beyonce Baxter says: “You’re never safe 'til the ring’s on your finger.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Atticus’ house, Atticus confronts Atticus’ Mean Dad about the dirty pic scandal. The Mean Dad is like, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t think our legacy is worth throwing away for “this little shiksa.” Okay now, is it just me or does Atticus’ Mean Dad’s Yiddish sound really forced? This is the first time we’re hearing it and I’m not convinced at all. Atticus’ Mean Dad gives Atticus a lecture on Judaism right before Rose et al. arrive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before the dinner, everyone tries to act normal as true love sort of falls apart. Mary tries to hide how happy it makes her that true love is falling apart by talking about murdering Edith. Mary, you are a monster. Rose quickly forgives Atticus and they join together as an team of Encyclopedia Browns to find their saboteur. Shrimpy and the Olds get together to explain that the Empire is collapsing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas, the pot, calls Violet’s Lady’s Maid, the kettle, black by telling her to stop being a bully. Takes one to know one.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the kitchen, Daisy complains about how art has changed her life so much she has to move to London now and experience the real world. Patmore almost starts crying because, even though Daisy’s become an obnoxious brat, she’s still \u003cem>her\u003c/em> obnoxious brat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady’s Maid are missing. Where oh where have they gone and when oh when will Thomas rescue him?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Shrimpy’s Mean Wife’s room, Shrimpy is waiting for Shrimpy’s Mean Wife because he, like us, knows that she is the villain behind the Atticus dirty pic situation. Turns out he has proof in the form of a checkbook stub! Always pay in cash when you are trying to sabotage your daughter’s happiness!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a drawing room, Donk announces that he’s selling the art that the Art Guy loved so much. Cora looks sad because that guy was honestly nice to her and a lot better of a human than Donk. Rose and the old ladies talk about happiness, love, boyz, etc. and then Carson comes in to tell Violet that her Lady’s Maid is “sick.” Mary and Branson talk about how Tom is leaving for America after Christmas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Violet’s Lady’s Maid is waaaasted. Daisy goes to make her coffee and finds Patmore sobbing. Ugh, now I am almost crying. Patmore and Daisy are the truest love in the world!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Thomas has clearly decided to use his Powers of Sneakiness for good, to rescue the poor New Cast Member from Violet’s Drunk and Gambling Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a registry office, which is not a church, Mary is dressed up again like Alex from \u003cem>Clockwork Orange\u003c/em>. Because her dirty pics thing didn’t ruin her daughter’s marriage, Shrimpy’s Mean Wife decides to announce that she and Shrimpy are getting divorced. The move backfires because true love cannot be stopped, even by the World’s Second Worst Mom (Mary is clearly the worst).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the stairs up to the registry office, Shrimpy and Rose share a moment of happiness away from their tormentor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas sets a trap for Violet’s Lady’s Maid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the wedding party, Tony is holding hands with the Girl He Jilted. They come over to Mary and make her delightfully uncomfortable, enough so that she makes an awkward comment about going to their wedding. Edith and Donk have an almost meaningful conversation, until he sees Mary and remembers he doesn’t like Edith and walks off. Tony and Mary debrief about their sex vacation and Carson, who still likes Mary apparently for some unknowable reason, looks on. Rose confronts her mother and tells her she doesn’t know what love is and then moves on to the next guest. A racist gets shut down by Cora.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hall, Mary complains to Carson about how things change. Luckily, Carson also hates change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a basement, Thomas prepares to finally use his trickiness for good. Seriously, is this ever actually going to happen? There's been a lot of build up on this one. Thomas, the New Cast Member and Violet’s Lady Maid go into a literally underground club called The Velvet Violin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her room, Anna sensually dresses Mary. Sadly, they are interrupted by Anna’s arrest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Velvet Violin, Thomas wins a bunch of money to pay off the New Cast Member’s debt. Not exactly dramatic but nice, I guess. He then sells out the Lady’s Maid to a Sinister Boss with a Mustache. Thomas and the New Cast Member leave and, in the corridor heading out of the basement, Thomas refers to himself as “your uncle Thomas.” I can’t decide if that’s creepy or amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside the Velvet Violin, the Lady’s Maid is forced to pay for her drinks. What a dramatic conclusion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house, Anna is getting cuffed and Mary is pissed. Bates is really angry and so are the Crawleys because seriously, how many Bates are they going to have to get off of spurious murder charges??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you forgot, it’s time for the war memorial unveiling! The show must go one, apparently, even though Anna the Unblemished is in jail (question: is this God punishing her for aiding and abetting the sex vacation?). The memorial is unveiled and everyone is like war is bad but also good, kinda? As I predicted what seems like five hours ago, Donk has prepared a tiny little memorial for Patmore’s nephew so when the music swells, he can once again be a hero! Super dense Donk finally takes a long look at Edith and realizes that Marigold is her child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a path in the village, Daisy decides not to go to London after all. Bates implies to Mary that he’s going to take the fall or something for the Rapist’s murder, even though that’s not going to happen since the cops know it was a lady. Unless he’s implying that Mary killed him? She \u003cem>is\u003c/em> stone cold so that's totally possible. Isobel and Violet both seem to decide to fight for true love! Edith and Tom say nice things to each other and Carson and Hughes say nice things to each other. Donk admits that he doesn’t think he’ll hate Marigold now that he knows she’s his progeny. And credits.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Character Ranking:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Shrimpy:\u003c/strong> What a great dad who picked a truly awful wife. Also, he's called Shrimpy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Baxter:\u003c/strong> Besides being an angel from Heaven, Baxter is a great Molesley-seductress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Molesly:\u003c/strong> So into the arts now! Opening up worlds for people! Not being annoying about it! How wonderful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Tom:\u003c/strong> Soon Tom will go to America and it will be a tragedy because he's the only thing keeping Mary from literally murdering Edith.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Patmore:\u003c/strong> Patmore is the best character on this show and, this week, her cake was lovely, she got to cry for Daisy and her nephew got a memorial! What a mitzvah, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 5 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/05/downton-abbey-season-5-premiere-recap-lover-you-shouldnt-have-come-over/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Premiere Recap: We Didn't Start the Fire\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/12/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-2-recap-ill-make-love-to-you/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: I'll Make Love To You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/18/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-3-recap-call-me-maybe/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 3 Recap: Call Me Maybe\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/01/25/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-4-recap-breaking-up-is-hard-to-do/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 4 Recap: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/01/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-5-recap-saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 5 Episode 5 Recap: Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/09/downton-abbey-season-5-episode-6-recap-runaway-train/\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 5 Episode 6 Recap: Runaway Train\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>There are so many good things about \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em>. Jason Biggs' character, Larry, is not one of them. He is spiteful, immature, and boring. And his storylines gobble up precious airtime that could be spent on Taystee and everyone else we'd rather watch. The OITNB writers must have sensed all the Larry-related eyerolls from around the world because \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/orange-is-the-new-black-jason-biggs-larry-leaving-season-3-1201437968/\">he will not be appearing on Season 3\u003c/a>. At all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Can you believe our good fortune?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15170\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3173-1375217060-24.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-buzz-3173-1375217060-24\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">At last we can brush him off our shoulders!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15169\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/alexdancejun23.gif\" alt=\"alexdancejun23\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">How I'll be walking for the rest of the day:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15173\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/635524524945311254-513481605_tumblr_mt0ge4hV3P1si3tc1o1_500.gif\" alt=\"635524524945311254-513481605_tumblr_mt0ge4hV3P1si3tc1o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">You know, when I'm not dancing in celebration:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15172\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/tumblr_inline_mqz4lweS3x1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_mqz4lweS3x1qz4rgp\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15174\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy1.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"496\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15171\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"giphy (1)\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Season 3 of \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em> is set to premiere this June on Netflix. Can't wait!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>There are so many good things about \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em>. Jason Biggs' character, Larry, is not one of them. He is spiteful, immature, and boring. And his storylines gobble up precious airtime that could be spent on Taystee and everyone else we'd rather watch. The OITNB writers must have sensed all the Larry-related eyerolls from around the world because \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/orange-is-the-new-black-jason-biggs-larry-leaving-season-3-1201437968/\">he will not be appearing on Season 3\u003c/a>. At all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Can you believe our good fortune?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15170\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3173-1375217060-24.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-buzz-3173-1375217060-24\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">At last we can brush him off our shoulders!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15169\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/alexdancejun23.gif\" alt=\"alexdancejun23\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">How I'll be walking for the rest of the day:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15173\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/635524524945311254-513481605_tumblr_mt0ge4hV3P1si3tc1o1_500.gif\" alt=\"635524524945311254-513481605_tumblr_mt0ge4hV3P1si3tc1o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">You know, when I'm not dancing in celebration:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15172\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/tumblr_inline_mqz4lweS3x1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_mqz4lweS3x1qz4rgp\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15174\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy1.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"496\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15171\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"giphy (1)\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Season 3 of \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em> is set to premiere this June on Netflix. Can't wait!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Mad Men: Let's Wildly Speculate about the First Photos from the Final Season!",
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"content": "\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15125\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15125 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season.jpg\" alt=\"mad-men-final-season\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When AMC announced that they were splitting \u003cem>Mad Men\u003c/em>'s final season into two, my eyes hurt from rolling so hard. \u003cem>Stop trying to be Harry Potter, Don Draper!\u003c/em> I thought. But with the passage of time, I have grown to accept this decision and even be thankful for it; if the show had ended last year, we wouldn't still be talking about these great characters or wildly speculating about what will happen in the final episodes based on a few promo photos!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So let's start with the photo above. Megan is obviously not letting her breakup with Don rain on her navel-baring parade. She's like, Look, y'all, my belly doesn't have a baby in it so you can \u003ca href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/05/29/megan_draper_sharon_tate_theory_is_the_mad_men_character_doomed_photo.html\">settle your Sharon Tate bets\u003c/a> now. Maybe she'll finally make it big in LA as Cher's stand-in?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Betty is staring me down, pissed that I analyzed Megan first so let's get to it. She's still smoking and drinking and mean mugging. She \u003ca href=\"http://i43.tinypic.com/5p21ac.jpg\">already shot up some birds\u003c/a> just for singing so maybe Betty's final season involves murdering those on her shit list (everyone, except for Peggy's secret baby only because she's never met him).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aw, Peggy. I look at her and I see love. I also see someone who traveled back in time and became a flapper. Good for you, Peg. You've gone through so much sexist workplace harassment that you deserve the ability to hop from decade to decade. You also deserve a spinoff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Joan doesn't seem to have drastically changed. Once a boss, always a boss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15128\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 645px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15128 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group.jpg\" alt=\"mad men final season 7\" width=\"645\" height=\"430\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group.jpg 645w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group-400x267.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Some old people loiter, while Sally Draper makes a fashion statement reminiscent of \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/images/season2_world_style_03_lg.jpg\">Sybil Crawley's harem pants reveal\u003c/a> (same color and everything!). She is basically \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tavi_Gevinson\">Tavi Gevinson\u003c/a> or a soon-to-be Anna Wintour. Can't you picture it? If you had to deal with parents like hers, you would also wear sunglasses everywhere, instill fear in all who cross your path, and \u003ca href=\"http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/83114-north-west-throws-tantrum-at-fashion-show-anna-wintour-moves-away/1423835547_north-tantrum-article.jpg\">secretly plot against noisy celebrity babies.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15127\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 630px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15127 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2.jpg\" alt=\"don draper mad men final season 7\" width=\"630\" height=\"472\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2.jpg 630w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Oh, right, this show is actually about Don. He's drinking, per usual, and in California or upstate New York...or purgatory, thinking about all the messed up stuff he's done over the years. If he's still alive, he'll soon be dead via a Jay Gatsby pool situation. Bye!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Got some speculations of your own? Leave 'em in the comments!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15125\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15125 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season.jpg\" alt=\"mad-men-final-season\" width=\"800\" height=\"600\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/mad-men-final-season-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>When AMC announced that they were splitting \u003cem>Mad Men\u003c/em>'s final season into two, my eyes hurt from rolling so hard. \u003cem>Stop trying to be Harry Potter, Don Draper!\u003c/em> I thought. But with the passage of time, I have grown to accept this decision and even be thankful for it; if the show had ended last year, we wouldn't still be talking about these great characters or wildly speculating about what will happen in the final episodes based on a few promo photos!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So let's start with the photo above. Megan is obviously not letting her breakup with Don rain on her navel-baring parade. She's like, Look, y'all, my belly doesn't have a baby in it so you can \u003ca href=\"http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/05/29/megan_draper_sharon_tate_theory_is_the_mad_men_character_doomed_photo.html\">settle your Sharon Tate bets\u003c/a> now. Maybe she'll finally make it big in LA as Cher's stand-in?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Betty is staring me down, pissed that I analyzed Megan first so let's get to it. She's still smoking and drinking and mean mugging. She \u003ca href=\"http://i43.tinypic.com/5p21ac.jpg\">already shot up some birds\u003c/a> just for singing so maybe Betty's final season involves murdering those on her shit list (everyone, except for Peggy's secret baby only because she's never met him).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Aw, Peggy. I look at her and I see love. I also see someone who traveled back in time and became a flapper. Good for you, Peg. You've gone through so much sexist workplace harassment that you deserve the ability to hop from decade to decade. You also deserve a spinoff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Joan doesn't seem to have drastically changed. Once a boss, always a boss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15128\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 645px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15128 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group.jpg\" alt=\"mad men final season 7\" width=\"645\" height=\"430\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group.jpg 645w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/54e3616c8a2fdf64645ff22a_mad-men-group-400x267.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Some old people loiter, while Sally Draper makes a fashion statement reminiscent of \u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/images/season2_world_style_03_lg.jpg\">Sybil Crawley's harem pants reveal\u003c/a> (same color and everything!). She is basically \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tavi_Gevinson\">Tavi Gevinson\u003c/a> or a soon-to-be Anna Wintour. Can't you picture it? If you had to deal with parents like hers, you would also wear sunglasses everywhere, instill fear in all who cross your path, and \u003ca href=\"http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/83114-north-west-throws-tantrum-at-fashion-show-anna-wintour-moves-away/1423835547_north-tantrum-article.jpg\">secretly plot against noisy celebrity babies.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_15127\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 630px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-15127 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2.jpg\" alt=\"don draper mad men final season 7\" width=\"630\" height=\"472\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2.jpg 630w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/af136c80-b249-11e4-8d07-b94b28994377_AMC_MM_Don-Pool_2065_V2-400x300.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 630px) 100vw, 630px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Oh, right, this show is actually about Don. He's drinking, per usual, and in California or upstate New York...or purgatory, thinking about all the messed up stuff he's done over the years. If he's still alive, he'll soon be dead via a Jay Gatsby pool situation. Bye!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Bethenny Frankel is not your average reality TV star. Arguably the most successful woman to come out of the \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> franchise (\u003ca href=\"http://blogs-images.forbes.com/moiraforbes/files/2011/05/0606-forbes-celeb-final.jpg\">just ask her Forbes cover\u003c/a>), she started the show as the runner-up from \u003cem>The Apprentice: Martha Stewart\u003c/em> who struggled to pay her rent. But it wasn't long before she became a \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> bestselling author, the lead of two spin-offs and the founder of Skinnygirl Cocktails. We caught up with Bethenny to talk about her new cocktail book, her return to the Housewives, what went wrong with her short-lived talk show, her \u003cem>Saved by the Bell\u003c/em> past and so much more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED Pop: I love that, unlike most weight watching books, \u003ca href=\"http://books.simonandschuster.com/Skinnygirl-Cocktails/Bethenny-Frankel/9781476773025\">\u003cem>Skinnygirl Cocktails\u003c/em>\u003c/a> comes from a place of yes, as it would with you, and it's not about withholding anything, it's about allowing...\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bethenny Frankel:\u003c/strong> Look at you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I know, right? I did some research!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You drank the Kool-Aid. You drank the Skinnygirl. Wow. I love it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Can you tell us a little bit about what made you finally put this book together?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I couldn't believe that I didn't have a cocktail book, given that that's my whole business. People want to be able to make cocktails at home and I really think that this is the most affordable and impressive way to entertain, to have signature cocktails at your house that are low-calorie. People don't feel guilty and that they're gonna feel overly hungover the next day from all the sugar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A signature cocktail is 9 times out of 10 what people will drink at a party because you've done the thinking and the creativity for them and it really ends up being very impressive and cost-effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You mentioned hangovers. Everyone has a drink that burned them early on that they can't drink anymore. What drink do you stay away from? \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brown tequila. Any dark tequila. That's college; that's getting sick. Back in the day, I got pretty wasted on Long Island Iced Teas, but I definitely still love them. I would definitely make one and, if a restaurant had one, I would have to do it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your cocktail book has a huge variety of drinks appropriate for basically anyone so I'm gonna give you a celebrity name and you tell me what drink you would serve them. \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Let's start with the Queen of all beings, Beyonce.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pink Lemon Drop. Or I might give her my White Cranberry Cosmo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How about your friend Ellen Degeneres?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would do Barenaked Vodka with three olives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ginsburg?? She needs to maintain her faculties. Probably the Skinnygirl Sauvignon Blanc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I read somewhere that you've written all your books on your phone.\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>What else do you get up to on your phone? Do you use Tinder?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have any apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>No apps?!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No apps. Just texting, emailing, looking up things online, taking pictures, and writing books. And writing down restaurants I pass that I want to go to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwMdQxVTsqU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You've worked with pretty high profile mentors in the past. I mentioned Ellen, who was a huge supporter with your talk show, and, on the flip side, you've worked with Martha Stewart, who, every time I see you two interact, either on \u003cem>The Apprentice\u003c/em> or on your show recently, gives off kind of a competitive vibe. What's been your experience in dealing with other women in the industry?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Honestly, pretty positive. I've really grown to love women. I think women have been supportive and respectful and I don't have anything negative to say about women \u003cem>or\u003c/em> men. If you can hold your own and you can walk the walk and talk the talk and it's not all fluff, people respect you and treat you well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You're a huge inspiration for a lot of women to start their own businesses. Who was that person for you growing up?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have one. I think there are successful women like Hillary Clinton, Barbara Walters, Arianna Huffington and Oprah, but I just always had my own idea and my own path.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I saw you on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> recently when you were promoting the book and you talked to them about how you value what they do because it was so hard for you on your own talk show. Can you talk more about what having your own show was like and how it was different than what you expected?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's very appropriate. It's like directing traffic. It's very orchestrated and I just like to be more rogue and more free and more edgy and inappropriate. And I felt a little confined.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I could definitely sense that. When we fell in love with you on the Housewives, you were the voice of reason, saying what no one else would say, and, on daytime TV, it doesn't seem like that is valued.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, and there are really very few formats, even on cable, that you would really be able to be who you are. I would say maybe Chelsea Handler had a situation where she could really be who she is, but she still had to drive traffic and worry about advertisers. I found that challenging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd-WG0GQ9Lw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So you're leaving the talk show world and coming back to the Housewives, which so many people are excited about. In the interim between when you left and now, [Housewives have taken to] throwing prosthetic legs and wine glasses at people's faces, and the brand seems to be more centered on women fighting other women. You've built your career on the opposite, women empowering women, so why go back now?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think it's a lack of personal creativity, or people feel like they don't know what else to do or say so they just want to do something outlandish. I'm doing the show because I miss the connection with women. For me personally, I think I have enough going on in my life that I don't need to do something ridiculous or outlandish just to make it interesting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm excited to be back, which is so crazy to me because I didn't want to do it for a while. The first season was interesting because it was new, but I didn't really love it thereafter, and even doing my own show was so much pressure. I'm really looking forward to it. I want the show to be good and successful, but the only way for that to be the case is if I'm real and honest and to be who I am. If that is interesting to people, then there you go. I don't need to do the show, I want to do it. I feel like I needed it before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Andy Cohen mentioned that you two were throwing around a couple of ideas for your return to TV before deciding that you would come back to the Housewives. Are you allowed to share any of those ideas that didn't make it?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't. We have another thing in the works together though, but I can't talk about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>That's all I need to know, that there's gonna be more Bethenny in the world.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think so. But this is a lot for right now and it's good. My whole business is very full and time-consuming and I have a daughter who is the most important.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Speaking of your daughter, there was \u003ca href=\"http://www.etonline.com/news/148356_bethenny_frankel_fits_into_her_4_year_old_daughters_pajamas/\">that whole crazy thing about you in her PJs\u003c/a>. How do you handle even the most innocuous part of your life being scrutinized?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just don't care. You can't care. You can't invest in every moronic thing that goes on in the world. You can't get engaged.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Time for some random questions! If you were on stage at a karaoke bar, what would you be singing?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe \"\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J91ti_MpdHA\">Girl On Fire\u003c/a>\" [although] she's hard to cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>If you could live inside one movie, what would it be?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Wall Street\u003c/em> or \u003cem>Love Actually\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>If you could invite three people (dead, alive or fictional) to dinner, who would they be?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pink, JFK, and George Clooney.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-15114\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell-400x270.jpg\" alt=\"2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell\" width=\"400\" height=\"270\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell-400x270.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell.jpg 550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">I read that you \u003ca href=\"http://cdn-media.hollywood.com/images/l/bethennyfrankel.savedbythebell.jpg\">were a PA on \u003cem>Saved by the Bell\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Do you have any behind the scenes intel?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, I was. It was so long ago. I was so envious of what seemed to be their fabulous lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth Berkley and I had kind of deep conversations. She was extremely, extremely focused, a very serious actress, like taking dance classes and acting classes. Mario Lopez, who I still know now and see the most, was always fun and kind of charming and had that sparkle. And Tiffani Thiessen was the most popular girl on the show and in real life. She just seemed like that girl you wanted to be in high school. Lark Voorhies, she was really sweet and she was kind of a little more serious. They were babies. They were nice kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And a lot of people came through that show. I remember Denise Richards came through, Tori Spelling, Leah Remini. I remember Leah Remini telling me that she basically could only afford a taco, living out of the back of her car. Yeah, it was an interesting experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I've heard that you have \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609071-i-suck-at-relationships-so-you-don-t-have-to?from_search=true\">a new book coming out soon\u003c/a>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I call it the big book. \u003cem>Naturally Thin\u003c/em> was a big book. \u003cem>Place of Yes\u003c/em> was a big book. This is a big book. And it's kind of about mistakes that I've made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I'm sure a lot of women will relate.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think so. We'll see.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Well, I can't wait to read it and see you on the Housewives. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thank you!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Bethenny Frankel is not your average reality TV star. Arguably the most successful woman to come out of the \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> franchise (\u003ca href=\"http://blogs-images.forbes.com/moiraforbes/files/2011/05/0606-forbes-celeb-final.jpg\">just ask her Forbes cover\u003c/a>), she started the show as the runner-up from \u003cem>The Apprentice: Martha Stewart\u003c/em> who struggled to pay her rent. But it wasn't long before she became a \u003cem>New York Times\u003c/em> bestselling author, the lead of two spin-offs and the founder of Skinnygirl Cocktails. We caught up with Bethenny to talk about her new cocktail book, her return to the Housewives, what went wrong with her short-lived talk show, her \u003cem>Saved by the Bell\u003c/em> past and so much more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED Pop: I love that, unlike most weight watching books, \u003ca href=\"http://books.simonandschuster.com/Skinnygirl-Cocktails/Bethenny-Frankel/9781476773025\">\u003cem>Skinnygirl Cocktails\u003c/em>\u003c/a> comes from a place of yes, as it would with you, and it's not about withholding anything, it's about allowing...\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Bethenny Frankel:\u003c/strong> Look at you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I know, right? I did some research!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You drank the Kool-Aid. You drank the Skinnygirl. Wow. I love it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Can you tell us a little bit about what made you finally put this book together?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, I couldn't believe that I didn't have a cocktail book, given that that's my whole business. People want to be able to make cocktails at home and I really think that this is the most affordable and impressive way to entertain, to have signature cocktails at your house that are low-calorie. People don't feel guilty and that they're gonna feel overly hungover the next day from all the sugar.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A signature cocktail is 9 times out of 10 what people will drink at a party because you've done the thinking and the creativity for them and it really ends up being very impressive and cost-effective.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You mentioned hangovers. Everyone has a drink that burned them early on that they can't drink anymore. What drink do you stay away from? \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brown tequila. Any dark tequila. That's college; that's getting sick. Back in the day, I got pretty wasted on Long Island Iced Teas, but I definitely still love them. I would definitely make one and, if a restaurant had one, I would have to do it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Your cocktail book has a huge variety of drinks appropriate for basically anyone so I'm gonna give you a celebrity name and you tell me what drink you would serve them. \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Let's start with the Queen of all beings, Beyonce.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pink Lemon Drop. Or I might give her my White Cranberry Cosmo.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How about your friend Ellen Degeneres?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would do Barenaked Vodka with three olives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ginsburg?? She needs to maintain her faculties. Probably the Skinnygirl Sauvignon Blanc.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I read somewhere that you've written all your books on your phone.\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>What else do you get up to on your phone? Do you use Tinder?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have any apps.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>No apps?!\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No apps. Just texting, emailing, looking up things online, taking pictures, and writing books. And writing down restaurants I pass that I want to go to.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/iwMdQxVTsqU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/iwMdQxVTsqU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You've worked with pretty high profile mentors in the past. I mentioned Ellen, who was a huge supporter with your talk show, and, on the flip side, you've worked with Martha Stewart, who, every time I see you two interact, either on \u003cem>The Apprentice\u003c/em> or on your show recently, gives off kind of a competitive vibe. What's been your experience in dealing with other women in the industry?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Honestly, pretty positive. I've really grown to love women. I think women have been supportive and respectful and I don't have anything negative to say about women \u003cem>or\u003c/em> men. If you can hold your own and you can walk the walk and talk the talk and it's not all fluff, people respect you and treat you well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You're a huge inspiration for a lot of women to start their own businesses. Who was that person for you growing up?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't have one. I think there are successful women like Hillary Clinton, Barbara Walters, Arianna Huffington and Oprah, but I just always had my own idea and my own path.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I saw you on \u003cem>The View\u003c/em> recently when you were promoting the book and you talked to them about how you value what they do because it was so hard for you on your own talk show. Can you talk more about what having your own show was like and how it was different than what you expected?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's very appropriate. It's like directing traffic. It's very orchestrated and I just like to be more rogue and more free and more edgy and inappropriate. And I felt a little confined.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I could definitely sense that. When we fell in love with you on the Housewives, you were the voice of reason, saying what no one else would say, and, on daytime TV, it doesn't seem like that is valued.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, and there are really very few formats, even on cable, that you would really be able to be who you are. I would say maybe Chelsea Handler had a situation where she could really be who she is, but she still had to drive traffic and worry about advertisers. I found that challenging.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/wd-WG0GQ9Lw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/wd-WG0GQ9Lw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So you're leaving the talk show world and coming back to the Housewives, which so many people are excited about. In the interim between when you left and now, [Housewives have taken to] throwing prosthetic legs and wine glasses at people's faces, and the brand seems to be more centered on women fighting other women. You've built your career on the opposite, women empowering women, so why go back now?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think it's a lack of personal creativity, or people feel like they don't know what else to do or say so they just want to do something outlandish. I'm doing the show because I miss the connection with women. For me personally, I think I have enough going on in my life that I don't need to do something ridiculous or outlandish just to make it interesting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm excited to be back, which is so crazy to me because I didn't want to do it for a while. The first season was interesting because it was new, but I didn't really love it thereafter, and even doing my own show was so much pressure. I'm really looking forward to it. I want the show to be good and successful, but the only way for that to be the case is if I'm real and honest and to be who I am. If that is interesting to people, then there you go. I don't need to do the show, I want to do it. I feel like I needed it before.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Andy Cohen mentioned that you two were throwing around a couple of ideas for your return to TV before deciding that you would come back to the Housewives. Are you allowed to share any of those ideas that didn't make it?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't. We have another thing in the works together though, but I can't talk about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>That's all I need to know, that there's gonna be more Bethenny in the world.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think so. But this is a lot for right now and it's good. My whole business is very full and time-consuming and I have a daughter who is the most important.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Speaking of your daughter, there was \u003ca href=\"http://www.etonline.com/news/148356_bethenny_frankel_fits_into_her_4_year_old_daughters_pajamas/\">that whole crazy thing about you in her PJs\u003c/a>. How do you handle even the most innocuous part of your life being scrutinized?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I just don't care. You can't care. You can't invest in every moronic thing that goes on in the world. You can't get engaged.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Time for some random questions! If you were on stage at a karaoke bar, what would you be singing?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe \"\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J91ti_MpdHA\">Girl On Fire\u003c/a>\" [although] she's hard to cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>If you could live inside one movie, what would it be?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Wall Street\u003c/em> or \u003cem>Love Actually\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>If you could invite three people (dead, alive or fictional) to dinner, who would they be?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pink, JFK, and George Clooney.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-15114\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell-400x270.jpg\" alt=\"2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell\" width=\"400\" height=\"270\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell-400x270.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/2012-06-26-Bethennyfrankelsavedbythebell.jpg 550w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">I read that you \u003ca href=\"http://cdn-media.hollywood.com/images/l/bethennyfrankel.savedbythebell.jpg\">were a PA on \u003cem>Saved by the Bell\u003c/em>\u003c/a>. Do you have any behind the scenes intel?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, I was. It was so long ago. I was so envious of what seemed to be their fabulous lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth Berkley and I had kind of deep conversations. She was extremely, extremely focused, a very serious actress, like taking dance classes and acting classes. Mario Lopez, who I still know now and see the most, was always fun and kind of charming and had that sparkle. And Tiffani Thiessen was the most popular girl on the show and in real life. She just seemed like that girl you wanted to be in high school. Lark Voorhies, she was really sweet and she was kind of a little more serious. They were babies. They were nice kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And a lot of people came through that show. I remember Denise Richards came through, Tori Spelling, Leah Remini. I remember Leah Remini telling me that she basically could only afford a taco, living out of the back of her car. Yeah, it was an interesting experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I've heard that you have \u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609071-i-suck-at-relationships-so-you-don-t-have-to?from_search=true\">a new book coming out soon\u003c/a>. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I call it the big book. \u003cem>Naturally Thin\u003c/em> was a big book. \u003cem>Place of Yes\u003c/em> was a big book. This is a big book. And it's kind of about mistakes that I've made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I'm sure a lot of women will relate.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think so. We'll see.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Well, I can't wait to read it and see you on the Housewives. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"soldout": {
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"title": "SOLD OUT: Rethinking Housing in America",
"tagline": "A new future for housing",
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