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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>And Jamedra shares how you can avoid gross dishes made by your relatives without hurting their feelings:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/amy-poehler-gross-food.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19197\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/amy-poehler-gross-food.gif\" alt=\"amy-poehler-gross-food\" width=\"335\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Happy holidays! Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year, as the tune goes. But for some people who may have issues with their family, it can also be a time of conflict and anxiety. I used to be one of those people. Don't get me wrong, there are still issues, but I've learned how to move past them and keep the peace. Here's my strategy:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Go easy on the hooch\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-51.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19211\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-51.gif\" alt=\"giphy (5)\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When faced with situations that aren't ideal, many adults decide to drink copiously to deal. This is not a great idea because you \u003cem>will\u003c/em>, in the words of our President, \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2PfdBavdvs\" target=\"_blank\">pop off\u003c/a> and say exactly what you've been bottling up all these years. It's not the time. So, by all means, have a bit of spiked whatever, just make sure to equal each glass with one of water. In the wise words of great philosopher Mary J. Blige: \u003ca href=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m04404ky2b1qfj59do6_250.gif\" target=\"_blank\">No more drama\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Help cook\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19212\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"giphy (8)\" width=\"400\" height=\"438\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">Not only is this the polite thing to do, it's also a way to put the focus on food instead of any issues between you and a family member. Talk about recipes or that cool restaurant you went to the other day. Once your dish is finished, people will be thankful and praise you for it. Good will everywhere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Collaborate on a creative project\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/xUZwi1qLy1/embed/\" height=\"710\" width=\"612\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">My family and I like to recreate photos of us from the '80s. First off, it's fun. But beyond that, it's a way to celebrate our long history together. It's hard to be annoyed at someone when you're looking at a baby picture of them. If photography isn't your thing, just look through family photos together or play a game of some kind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Prepare a few safe anecdotes\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/A1y1Rvm.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19213\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/A1y1Rvm.gif\" alt=\"A1y1Rvm\" width=\"500\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">Your relatives will ask you what's going on with you these days. Without proper preparation, you might say \"Uh, not much\" or, worse, something like \"Oh, you know, blocking you from Facebook because of your wack political beliefs.\" The results will either be awkward or involve broken dishes. So go into your family function with some uncontroversial topics. Talk about a new hobby you've picked up or a fun trip you're planning or a new podcast you fell in love with (\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">ahem!\u003c/a>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Practice empathy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Best-Hugs-11-The-Little-Mermaid.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19214 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Best-Hugs-11-The-Little-Mermaid.gif\" alt=\"Best-Hugs-11-The-Little-Mermaid\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">This one is the hardest, but the most crucial. A relative might say something hurtful or just outright ignore you. The instinct is to confront them. Open communication and having it out can be healthy, but not when the rest of the family is assembled. Save it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">My dad doesn't like that I'm gay so we don't always get along, to say the least. I used to pointedly avoid him or pick at the scab that is our relationship by picking a fight. Neither option produced positive results. In recent years, I've taken a different approach: empathy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">In episode 2 of Aziz Ansari's \u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em>, the present day stories of two of the main characters' immigrant dads are juxtaposed with their pre-America lives. The viewer gets to witness all the struggle and adversity that isn't being communicated to the kids. Aziz and his friend realize they don't know anything about their fathers and make a point of asking questions to find out more about these people (and they \u003cem>are\u003c/em> real people with their own set of beliefs and fears and dreams; they're not just your parent!). Once they find out a little bit more, they find new appreciation for their dads and become more thoughtful with future interactions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">Like those characters, I don't know much more than a rough outline of my dad's life before I came onto the scene. I'll probably never know the full extent of what he went through to create a new life for himself and me. But something I do know is that his experiences have shaded his worldview in whatever way and the least I can do is be curious about what those experiences were and ask to hear his stories. The more personal information you have, the easier it becomes to empathize.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">I'm working on no longer trying to change my dad and respecting him for who he is, in the hope that he'll do the same in return. 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Good will everywhere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Collaborate on a creative project\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"//instagram.com/p/xUZwi1qLy1/embed/\" height=\"710\" width=\"612\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">My family and I like to recreate photos of us from the '80s. First off, it's fun. But beyond that, it's a way to celebrate our long history together. It's hard to be annoyed at someone when you're looking at a baby picture of them. If photography isn't your thing, just look through family photos together or play a game of some kind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>Prepare a few safe anecdotes\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/A1y1Rvm.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19213\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/A1y1Rvm.gif\" alt=\"A1y1Rvm\" width=\"500\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">Your relatives will ask you what's going on with you these days. Without proper preparation, you might say \"Uh, not much\" or, worse, something like \"Oh, you know, blocking you from Facebook because of your wack political beliefs.\" The results will either be awkward or involve broken dishes. So go into your family function with some uncontroversial topics. 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"content": "\u003cp>As someone with family in a galaxy far, far away (or, as it's more usually called, \"England\"), I've spent a lot of the holidays on transatlantic flights — and if you don't get at least \u003cem>some\u003c/em> sleep on these 12-hour monsters, you are dooming yourself to spend the first two days of your visit in a miserable jet-lagged haze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily, over the years I've developed a (personally) foolproof system for being an absolute champion sleeper on flights like this that enables me to wake up on the runway and waltz into London Heathrow Arrivals like a well-refreshed boss. And I'm sharing it here with you, dear reader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-5.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19193\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"giphy (5)\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You will need in your carry-on luggage:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A big soft scarf (like, \u003cem>big\u003c/em>)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Noise-canceling headphones\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pajamas\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Benadryl\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Face moisturizer\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Vicks VapoRub or generic equivalent\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Neck pillow\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Facial wipes\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Water bottle full of water from the Departure lounge\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-6.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19194\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-6.gif\" alt=\"giphy (6)\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>And here's the patented Méthode de Carly:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Get on the plane, fire up a movie, eat the dinner they give me or that I've brought aboard (strongly recommend the latter here). Have a glass of red wine with my dinner, accompanied by a good amount of water. (Plane travel dehydrates you super-fast and I do not want a \"plangover\" because they are the absolute worst.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When finished with the above, take Benadryl (anti-histamine that also makes me sleepy). I am not going to tell you the dosage I take because I am not a doctor and you should read the back of the box.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go to the restroom with carry-on bag and do the following:\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Change into PJs. Yes, I am that person in PJs on the flight. Deal.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Take off all my makeup with facial wipes and apply inch-thick layer of moisturizer (remember: plane travel dehyrates!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Fill water bottle because I don't want to have to get up again when thirsty and disturb my slumber\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Apply Vicks VapoRub to nose, because planes can smell and menthol makes me feel zen\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go back to seat and make self as comfortable as possible on 10+ hour economy flight: pillow, noise-canceling headphones (to block out the sound of jet engines next to my face) and -- this is the weirdest part -- arrange big scarf \u003cem>over\u003c/em> head like a drape on a canary's cage. (And you thought the PJs were going to make you look weird.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ensconced in sound-proof, light-resistant tent of comfort, and already sleepy from Benadryl, fall asleep for many hours and wake up refreshed and capable of dealing with a vastly altered time zone.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>And there you have it! A version of this guide appears in this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>, a podcast you really should be listening to:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/thecooler/2017/12/HolidayGuide2017.mp3\" title=\"How to Survive Your Family, Long Flights and Bad Food This Holiday Season\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>What tricks do you have for making plane travel bearable? Leave a comment!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>As someone with family in a galaxy far, far away (or, as it's more usually called, \"England\"), I've spent a lot of the holidays on transatlantic flights — and if you don't get at least \u003cem>some\u003c/em> sleep on these 12-hour monsters, you are dooming yourself to spend the first two days of your visit in a miserable jet-lagged haze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily, over the years I've developed a (personally) foolproof system for being an absolute champion sleeper on flights like this that enables me to wake up on the runway and waltz into London Heathrow Arrivals like a well-refreshed boss. And I'm sharing it here with you, dear reader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-5.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19193\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"giphy (5)\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You will need in your carry-on luggage:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A big soft scarf (like, \u003cem>big\u003c/em>)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Noise-canceling headphones\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pajamas\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Benadryl\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Face moisturizer\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Vicks VapoRub or generic equivalent\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Neck pillow\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Facial wipes\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Water bottle full of water from the Departure lounge\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-6.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-19194\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-6.gif\" alt=\"giphy (6)\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>And here's the patented Méthode de Carly:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>Get on the plane, fire up a movie, eat the dinner they give me or that I've brought aboard (strongly recommend the latter here). Have a glass of red wine with my dinner, accompanied by a good amount of water. (Plane travel dehydrates you super-fast and I do not want a \"plangover\" because they are the absolute worst.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When finished with the above, take Benadryl (anti-histamine that also makes me sleepy). I am not going to tell you the dosage I take because I am not a doctor and you should read the back of the box.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go to the restroom with carry-on bag and do the following:\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Change into PJs. Yes, I am that person in PJs on the flight. Deal.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Take off all my makeup with facial wipes and apply inch-thick layer of moisturizer (remember: plane travel dehyrates!)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Fill water bottle because I don't want to have to get up again when thirsty and disturb my slumber\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Apply Vicks VapoRub to nose, because planes can smell and menthol makes me feel zen\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go back to seat and make self as comfortable as possible on 10+ hour economy flight: pillow, noise-canceling headphones (to block out the sound of jet engines next to my face) and -- this is the weirdest part -- arrange big scarf \u003cem>over\u003c/em> head like a drape on a canary's cage. (And you thought the PJs were going to make you look weird.)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ensconced in sound-proof, light-resistant tent of comfort, and already sleepy from Benadryl, fall asleep for many hours and wake up refreshed and capable of dealing with a vastly altered time zone.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>And there you have it! A version of this guide appears in this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>, a podcast you really should be listening to:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"hE5D0WNR49A3hIuqVkP3nJCyKJnj5ZOT\"]Last week, I shared news about how the Save the Redwoods League is sponsoring \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/19/this-black-friday-to-be-less-gross-thanks-to-free-redwood-parks/\" target=\"_blank\">a Free Friday in the Redwoods\u003c/a>, a day of free access to 49 California redwood state parks on November 27, 2015. Now, Zappos, the shoe and clothing store, is throwing its hat in the let's-remind-the-populace-that-there-are-more-important-things-to-life-than-buying-more-junk ring with a campaign called \"Home for the Pawlidayz.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From Black Friday to the following Monday, they will sponsor free pet adoptions from the \u003ca href=\"http://bestfriends.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Best Friends Animal Society\u003c/a> and other participating shelters. As if that wasn't enough of a good deed, for every adoption, Zappos will also donate $150 to BFAS.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you're in the Bay Area, two local locations are \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/Saving-Grace-Rescue-Inc-131072820282688/?fref=ts\" target=\"_blank\">Saving Grace Rescue Inc\u003c/a> in San Francisco and \u003ca href=\"http://www.beourpet.org/\" target=\"_blank\">Umbrella Of Hope Rescue\u003c/a> in Pittsburg. If those aren't in your neck of the woods, check out \u003ca href=\"http://www.zappos.com/free-pet-adoption-network-partners\" target=\"_blank\">the full list\u003c/a> of participating spots.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the fence about helping out a pup or kitty? These cuties will help you see the light:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca class=\"embedly-card\" href=\"http://meowoof.com.au/2015/02/9-adorable-space-hogs-you-need-in-your-life/\">9 adorable space hogs you need in your life\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cp>Ah, the holidays. Nothing brings out that feeling of family togetherness quite like listening to your racist Uncle Ted, five beers deep, expounding on the brilliance of Donald Trump's proposed immigration policies while your vegan cousin sits miserably pushing butter-laced mashed potatoes around her plate, just hoping no one asks her to explain what \"genderqueer\" means again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Considering the maelstrom of hurt feelings and hurled silverware that can result from bringing politics or religion into a large family dinner setting, we here at KQED Pop thought it might be nice to provide readers with a cheat sheet of alternative discussion topics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feel free to print this out and bring it along to your own family dinner -- or hell, make copies and tuck one beside each attendee's napkin. You might just become the most popular dinner guest of all time.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Star Wars\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Aziz Ansari\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The weather\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pets\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Cute videos of pets (yours or anonymous internet-famous ones)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Interior decoration\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Coffee, and the particulars of which brands and styles everyone likes\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\"Antiques Roadshow\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Rachael Ray\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pharrell\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Muppets\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Candy Crush\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Emojis\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An emoji being \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4114886/oxford-word-of-the-year-2015-emoji/\" target=\"_blank\">Oxford Dictionaries' \"word of the year\"\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Stephen Curry\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Riley Curry\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Adele\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The yardwork/garden situation, if any, at the home you're currently dining in\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What any present school-age children are studying in school\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Traffic/road conditions\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ira Glass and/or \u003cem>This American Life\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/19/this-black-friday-to-be-less-gross-thanks-to-free-redwood-parks/\" target=\"_blank\">Redwood trees\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Minor health problems\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Insoles\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Any cute kid anyone saw doing anything on \u003cem>Ellen \u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>The Peanuts Movie\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The old days\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/06/11/ornette-coleman-shape-of-jazz-bay-area/\" target=\"_blank\">Ornette Coleman\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The food you're currently eating\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Family members who aren't there\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Ah, the holidays. Nothing brings out that feeling of family togetherness quite like listening to your racist Uncle Ted, five beers deep, expounding on the brilliance of Donald Trump's proposed immigration policies while your vegan cousin sits miserably pushing butter-laced mashed potatoes around her plate, just hoping no one asks her to explain what \"genderqueer\" means again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Considering the maelstrom of hurt feelings and hurled silverware that can result from bringing politics or religion into a large family dinner setting, we here at KQED Pop thought it might be nice to provide readers with a cheat sheet of alternative discussion topics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feel free to print this out and bring it along to your own family dinner -- or hell, make copies and tuck one beside each attendee's napkin. You might just become the most popular dinner guest of all time.\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Star Wars\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Aziz Ansari\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The weather\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pets\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Cute videos of pets (yours or anonymous internet-famous ones)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Interior decoration\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Coffee, and the particulars of which brands and styles everyone likes\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\"Antiques Roadshow\"\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Rachael Ray\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Pharrell\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Muppets\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Candy Crush\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Emojis\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>An emoji being \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4114886/oxford-word-of-the-year-2015-emoji/\" target=\"_blank\">Oxford Dictionaries' \"word of the year\"\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Stephen Curry\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Riley Curry\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Adele\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The yardwork/garden situation, if any, at the home you're currently dining in\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>What any present school-age children are studying in school\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Traffic/road conditions\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Ira Glass and/or \u003cem>This American Life\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/19/this-black-friday-to-be-less-gross-thanks-to-free-redwood-parks/\" target=\"_blank\">Redwood trees\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Minor health problems\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Insoles\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Any cute kid anyone saw doing anything on \u003cem>Ellen \u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>The Peanuts Movie\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The old days\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2015/06/11/ornette-coleman-shape-of-jazz-bay-area/\" target=\"_blank\">Ornette Coleman\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>The food you're currently eating\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Family members who aren't there\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Crossroads: A Live Blog of Britney Spears' One and Only Movie",
"title": "Crossroads: A Live Blog of Britney Spears' One and Only Movie",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>We asked \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/03/get-out-and-vote-for-your-favorite-stupid-pop-star-crossover-movie/\" target=\"_blank\">which pop star crossover movie\u003c/a> we should live blog and you unanimously picked \u003c/em>Crossroads\u003cem>, Britney Spears' one and only movie! Ask and y'all shall receive:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Baby versions of Britney Spears, Zoe Saldana and Taryn Manning dig into the Earth to bury some super secret trinkets. One of them says \"This is fun!\" It's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trivia: Bb Brit is played by her IRL sister, Jamie Lynn!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Opening credits are boring until you realize Shonda Rhimes wrote this clunker masterpiece.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two minutes in and Britney is already in her underwear, a creepy reward for all the dads who might have taken their kids to see this movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19082 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/large.gif\" alt=\"britney cereal crossroads gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney eats her breakfast standing up, while singing along to a Madonna song. Platform heels keep her cereal company.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dan Aykroyd comes in to bug her about five different things (he's supposed to be her wet blanket dad). \u003cem>How did he end up in this movie?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Britney's school on graduation day. She's hanging out with that dude from the Mac commercials who dated Drew Barrymore for a hot second. They're supposed to be ugly dorks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is not an even an attempt to make them look like actual ugly dorks. No low-rent overalls-ification, à la \u003cem>She's All That\u003c/em>, even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A pregnant Taryn walks down the hallway, looking downtrodden. Some random girl taunts \"When's the baby due?\" A gross dude says, \"Hey, Mimi, you know you want me,\" flicks his tongue at her, and then, for good measure, calls her a \"ho.\" Taryn is completely within her rights to pull a Carrie and torch that school and all the jerks inside it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe Saldana descends a staircase with her clique, complimenting herself. She bumps into Britney and freaks the F out. They are randomly mortal enemies now, buried box be damned. Zoe half-recites the best line from \u003cem>Clueless\u003c/em>: \"You're a virgin!\" (The assumption is that Britney \u003cem>can\u003c/em> drive.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to this movie, there are three options for women in life: virgin who does everything her dad says, mean popular girl who secretly hates herself, or teen pregnancy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe's mom is wearing a killer hat and bullies her to smile more. She makes this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19152\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 11.25.41 AM\" width=\"725\" height=\"404\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png 725w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM-400x223.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 725px) 100vw, 725px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some teacher finds Britney and her dad to say that she hopes Britney continues studying music in college. Dan Aykroyd is like, \u003cem>Bahahaha, nope, she's gonna be a doctor\u003c/em>. Britney dies a little inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Britney is crying. \"Pop, I worked really hard to be the valedictorian.\" Book learnin' is hard, y'all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, in case there was any confusion, this is when it becomes clear that 100% complete suspension of belief is necessary for this movie to work. It's not that very pretty girls can't be smart. It's that Britney Spears -- eesh, how to put this? -- doesn't seem like she has both of those qualities going in equal measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She goes on to explain how she put all this work into realizing her dream and getting an award for it, but ultimately felt nothing. She missed out on being a real teen. \"I never just, like, hung out. Is this it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This little monologue could easily be applied to Britney's actual life. It was a warning for what was to come: much like her character, real life Britney was left feeling empty from the accolades and the fame. She missed out on being a real person so she acted out by dating Kevin Federline, smoking weed and...well, the rest is too sad to get into right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19153\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears-sad.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-sad\" width=\"450\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is also, nearly verbatim, dialogue from the sad valedictorian daughter and overbearing single dad interactions in \u003cem>Say Anything\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anywaaaaay, the gang is at prom. Taryn wants to go dig up that old box and Britney is not having it because Mac dude is wearing a huge backpack (presumably full of condoms) and wants to take her virginity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn finds Zoe in a bathroom and brings up their pact to unearth their buried treasure. Zoe is stank and spits, \"Excuse me? I have better things to do than dig up some old box.\" Again, Taryn has every right to go full-on Carrie on these people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe and her hot mean friends are dancing in a circle while checking out the weird pseudo-grunge live band that would never actually play a high school prom. There's lots of expository conversation about Zoe's fiancé, who's in LA. He's cheating on her. Any viewer over the age of 6 would infer this from the 30 seconds of conversation these girls have while dancing robotically in a circle. Zoe does not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs in a hotel room, Big Backpack undresses hurriedly and puts baby powder all over his body. He is so ready. He also has multiple abs and is smoking hot. This equals nerd in Hollywood. Unlike the \"stud\" in this movie, he doesn't have a tribal tattoo so he's instantly unattractive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19154\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_mbtm1kFgLa1qb654w.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mbtm1kFgLa1qb654w\" width=\"500\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marvin Gaye's \"Let's Get It On\" plays because duh. Britney does some seductive hand movements to announce her arrival. She takes off a suit jacket to reveal super sexy underwear. This movie is introducing the youth of America to fun singalongs \u003cem>and\u003c/em> eroticism! Two birds and all that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney isn't really feeling it. Big Backpack literally begs to have sex: \"Please, Lucy! C'mon! I'm begging you! Please! Let's just do it! Please!\" The answer is nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19155\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_mg65xuPhki1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mg65xuPhki1qdcxoeo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Taryn's ex asks, \"Wassup, Mimi? How's the fetus?\" Are we sure Shonda Rhimes wrote this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even though they hate each other's guts for no real reason, the three former friends show up to dig up their box. Where did Britney find a shovel between the prom and this park?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After some light laboring, they unearth their buried treasure. Whatever is in there better be good! Is it a middle school slam book? Long dead Tamagotchis? A stash of Dunkaroos??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope, all we get is a Polaroid, a locket of Brit's absent mom, a globe keychain, and a bridal Barbie. Never meet your idols and never dig up dumb crap you buried when you were young.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn shares the meaning of her globe keychain: her younger self wished she'd eventually dip her toes in the Pacific Ocean. She's actually heading there in two days to do said dipping and also to enter some singing contest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brit and Zoe don't miss a beat in raining all over her parade. Britney needlessly points out, \"You're pregnant!\" Zoe adds her rude two cents: \"You think you're gonna be this big fat pregnant star?\" WTF. People treat pregnant women horribly in this movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Zoe is on the phone with her fiancé. She hasn't seen him in 5 months. His name is Dylan and he lives in California. How amazing would it have been if Luke Perry played that role? And how amazing would it have been if the terrible dialogue in this movie didn't inspire continual pre-puke mouth sweats?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Britney is all F this place and sneaks into her dad's room to put an \u003cem>I'm outtie\u003c/em> note on his bedside table. He is sleeping in a single bed. Nothing could be sadder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe is on a mission to go see Luke Perry so she joins Taryn, as she gets ready for the road trip. Britney appears, wearing an offensive hat she goes on to wear for the majority of the movie. It's the kind of hat you put on a baby at the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19156\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"257\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The dude from the unlikely prom band is going to be traveling with them. His backstory is never explained. Also not explained: why he wants to drive a bunch of girls he doesn't know across the country. What we do know: he can operate a car, he is kind of cute but not really, and he has cringe-y tattoos. Good enough, I guess. Hop in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we all think of road trips and how fun they are, we're thinking of the first two hours or so, when you can still feel your butt and you're not car sick yet and you're having fun singing real loud with the windows down and you don't despise anyone in the car just yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls convince random dude to change the music from rock to *NSYNC. The girls joyously sing aloud. Britney knows every word 'cause her boyfriend at the time of the filming was none other than Justin Timberlake. They eventually broke up in February 2002. The movie was released a month later. BURN.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19157 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"giphy (2)\" width=\"1000\" height=\"563\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, all the girls get ready in the bathroom at the same time. Taryn has a toothbrush in her hair because she's such a kooky rebel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also this movie is starting to seem like they dreamed up different situations in which Brit could logically be almost naked and then wrote the (loose) narrative around them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A rumor spreads that the random dude they're rolling with went to prison for killing a man. They are all like, ewww! They proceed to shun him for the rest of the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They stop at a grocery store. Taryn is hungry and asks Britney to get her some chips. Britney says no because this movie is all about punishing pregnant women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn goes inside to get some Cheetos for herself. (You go, girl.) Britney and Zoe make her feel bad about being pregnant again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Britney calls her dad and then hangs up on him. She is wearing a ruffled top with pastel flowers on it to remind you, the viewer, that she's still a virgin. It works.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer catches Britney in the rearview and asks: \"What are you writing in there?\" Britney says, \"Stuff.\" The interaction ends and someone was paid to write it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The car breaks down. Taryn says she's hungry. Zoe yells at her to shut up because, again, we hate pregnant women with cravings. Someone get her some chips please!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn and Zoe get into a shoving match. Then, Zoe pulls Taryn's hair. Britney has had it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"giphy (3)\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/FtMRseWNuyDx.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/FtMRseWNuyDx.gif\" alt=\"FtMRseWNuyDx\" width=\"500\" height=\"265\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang needs money to repair their broken car so they do what any of us would do: enter a karaoke contest! This is the second time Taryn has come through with a fully formulated and potentially life-changing plan for the three of them based on a flyer she apparently found in a gas station.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls are hanging out in a large, fancy backstage dressing room before going on because this always happens when anyone sings karaoke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe takes a look at what Britney plans to go out there wearing and is like yeah, no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next time we see her, Brit is wearing a barely there ripped top, lots o' body glitter and all her hairs are crimped! Nothing screams sex like the work of a crimping iron.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19160\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500\" width=\"482\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone from the crowd shouts, \"Look at that chick, she's pregnant!\" Seriously, what is up with this movie and the preg shaming? Maybe the whole film is an allegory for the way our culture disdains the power of a woman's body and feels the need to objectify and shame it to keep it under patriarchal control? Yeah, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the entire premise of this movie being centered on Taryn wanting to enter some singing contest in California, she gets up there and is REALLY bothered by the bright lights and has a mild panic attack. People boo very quickly (because she's pregnant) and she begs Britney to sing in her stead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shy valedictorian Britney is nervous for about 30 seconds but then pulls it off and becomes a major sexpot for the remaining three minutes of the song, vamping, strutting, and rubbing her back on a stripper pole because she needs them tips for the broken car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We see that this is working because the camera cuts no fewer than four times to the tip jar which is a giant jar that says TIPS, and people are putting money in it every time. The crowd is shouting excitedly and dancing and behaving exactly like people behave at random low-rent karaoke shows. Also, people dig it because the pregnant girl is in the background where she belongs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the performance, random Maybe Murderer is acting like a Maybe Pimp as he counts all the money the girls made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's interrupted by a bro wondering if Britney is his girl. Maybe Pimp says no so the bro says \"watch this\" to his friends and goes to aggressively dance with Britney. It goes from zero to date rape in three seconds flat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Pimp knocks the bro out. Taryn grabs all their money and they all run.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that they have money, their hotel room's carpet and wallpaper aren't so scarily saturated. Zoe is excited about the mini bar. She doesn't yet realize that stuff is not free.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Pimp is permanently emblazoned on our sh*t list when he says to Britney: \"I'm not mad at you for what happened back there.\" Exsqueeze me? Why in any universe would he need to clarify that? Instead of realizing this dude is a misogynist, Britney feels bad about herself. Maybe Pimp says he needs to take a walk. Perfect idea, dude. Find the nearest cliff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With that victim blaming loser out of their hair, the girls drink three sips of alcohol and dance for a really long time while giggling. Taryn drinks a lot of Pepsi. This movie was definitely released during the time period when Brit had a major deal with Pepsi. Things are pretty great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe opens up about why she's so rude. She used to go to fat camp and her mom is competitive with her! I guess that makes up for all the mean comments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we move to some sort of beautiful courtyard location (?) that apparently exists at this rundown motel, it is suddenly daytime, and the convo gets very real. Britney opens up about her absent mother and Taryn opens up about being raped. It was by a guy drinking beer out of a blue bottle. REMEMBER THIS. They all hug and promise not to lose touch again. \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5CddQf5OVI\" target=\"_blank\">Ya ya\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney says she's hungover but really doesn't seem it. Taryn talks about how good a burrito she's eating is. She finally got something to eat!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls sing along to Shania Twain because it's been 10 whole minutes without a dance sequence or singalong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/4vlbGur.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/4vlbGur.gif\" alt=\"4vlbGur\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer wakes up in the back seat to the girls singing and FREAKS OUT. He wants Britney to pull over. She says she will at the next exit. He continues to freak out and HITS THE BACK OF HER SEAT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, how many passes are you gonna give this guy? He maybe killed someone, he got mad at a girl for being assaulted by some dude and then made her feel bad about the experience, and now he's getting physical. Maybe it's time the girls maybe murdered \u003cem>him\u003c/em>! Or I guess they could just leave him on the side of the road. Whatever, just get rid of him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This movie kind of feels like a PG version of the \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4090799/zola-twitter-florida-story/\" target=\"_blank\">infamous Zola story\u003c/a> that blew up Twitter last month. A road trip gone wrong. Hot-headed men who think they run stuff. Almost stripping.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer storms out of the car and proceeds to throw rocks and kick the dirt and yell a bunch. He explains that he's a guy and he can't handle them doing their \"girly things\" in his car. If fragile masculinity had a human form and gave a short monologue in a crappy movie, this would be it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney schools him on how sexist and damaging his world view is and drops some Gloria Steinem, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and bell hooks quotes on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, Britney doesn't do that at all because this world is all wrong. Instead she says \"Okay\" and smiles. Sigh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the car, Maybe Murderer is in the driver's seat and listening to macho music so he's not randomly attacking the girls anymore. Yay?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brit asks if he ever killed a man and he explains that no he actually helped out his stepsister and got locked up for six months for it. The characters nod sagely, contemplating our broken justice system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this movie needs to make sure it embarrasses anyone associated with it for years to come, we find the gang on a random cliff where they -- you guessed it! -- yell into the abyss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They decide to camp for the night, after asking Not a Murderer But Still Definitely a Piece of Sh*t if he has four sleeping bags. He smiles. Why on earth would he have four sleeping bags??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess he does because next thing you know it's nighttime and they're camping. Taryn teaches Zoe how to fight. Zoe has rollers in her hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer asks Britney what she's writing again, since she's being all shy and valedictorian-like with a notebook by the campfire. She says, \"Poems mostly.\" She recites the lyrics to \"Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.\" Wordsworth is rolling in his grave with jealousy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn freaks out cause she got bitten on the butt by a snake while peeing. No, wait, it's just a mosquito bite. WTF is this movie?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, they drop Britney off at the mansion that belongs to the mom who abandoned her when she was three. They all hug. They make a point to tell her that they're not leaving town until tomorrow, which makes no sense seeing as they've been on a very efficiently timed road trip up until now and were clearly worried about getting to LA on schedule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway: Britney's mom. An alternate universe Samantha Jones of \u003cem>Sex and the City\u003c/em> opens the door, wearing an outfit ready for a safari, and is not having any of it. \"I came to see you, mama!\" \"Now why would you do that, Lucy?\" Geez! Cold-hearted!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She has pictures on the mantle of Britney's half-brothers. Britney asks if they know who she is. Samantha makes a I'm-just-not-that-into-you face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The rest of the interaction happens off-screen because the writers of this movie probably didn't know how to write an emotionally gripping scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney shows up at her friends' hotel room, wet from the rain cause rain equals emotion. She is super sad and sits on the bathroom floor. She later explains that her mom never wanted her, but that they do look alike and she has her eyes and hands (huh).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer comforts her by ripping out a poem from her journal. She doesn't seem mad about that, but she is probably internally screaming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He takes her to a piano in the corner of a large and well-lit room, which every ramshackle hotel in Arizona apparently has, and plays her the music to her poem. Britney \"sings.\" It's awful. They make out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney decides to go to LA to make out some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19167\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"giphy (4)\" width=\"500\" height=\"327\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the car. Sheryl Crow singalong cause duh. The rule is that, every time anyone sings along to the radio in this movie, they must laugh like it's the CRAZIEST thing anyone's ever done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If It Makes You Happy\" lasts the length of a montage, which takes them all the way to LA, which you know you are in when you see palm trees. Also, all road trips to LA culminate in Sheryl Crow songs. It's part of a deal she has worked out with the travel bureau.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang goes to the beach and realizes that the Pacific Ocean is cold as f*ck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're all suddenly in a horde of people who are gathered for more information about the weird open audition. Jesse Camp, that dude who won the VJ contest on MTV, hassles Zoe in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19163\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 12.54.38 PM\" width=\"512\" height=\"404\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png 512w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM-400x316.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Zoe calls Dylan to excitedly tell him she's in LA to see him! He's like \"Ugh, not now\" and she is still confused about a situation that her friends all explained to her very clearly \u003cem>weeks\u003c/em> ago at prom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe wants to go sightseeing to distract herself from her sham engagement. Taryn is down, but Britney is \"too tired,\" which is code for \"Imma lose my virginity today, y'all!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the car, Taryn finds out Zoe's sightseeing adventure is actually just a drive over to Dylan's house to force him to hang. Taryn freaks out with good reason (you'll find out why in a sec).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Maybe Murderer dramatically taking off his tank top. He pins Britney against a window that overlooks crashing waves. His tribal tattoo is everywhere. The camera pans to the waves crashing against the shore and then a sunset. This movie was PG-13, remember.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe forces Taryn to come up to Dylan's front door with her. This is a really bad idea. He's hanging out with some other chick who resembles \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_C_(singer)\" target=\"_blank\">Vitamin C\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19164\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 1.07.44 PM\" width=\"554\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png 554w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM-400x282.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 554px) 100vw, 554px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if that's not bad enough, he's also Taryn's rapist. Zoe realizes this when, in the midst of a cartoonishly buffoonish speech about how he didn't think cheating on his fiancé was a big deal, the guy takes a swig of beer from a blue bottle. A BLUE BOTTLE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone who performs crimes while doing or wearing distinctively colored things always continues to do or wear those things for the rest of time. This is how you can spot them later. It's called brand loyalty. It's very helpful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn flees and falls down the stairs. Her globe keychain dramatically bounces down and down in slow motion. Is she losing her desire to see the world??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No. She does lose her baby though. \"I would have been a good mom,\" she tearfully tells Britney, who shows up kinda like \"Sorry I wasn't there, I was getting laid?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is all getting a little too real for Brit so she asks her dad to fly out from Georgia. He is there, at the hospital, within 20 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His first line: \"Just what were you thinking running away...with a pregnant girl!\" Again, why does everyone in the \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em> universe deride procreation/women/women's bodies so much??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His second concern: \"How old is he anyway?\" Glad he asked because we're also confused about how old Maybe Murderer is. And where does he live and what is his deal and why does he hate women and how has he\u003cem> not\u003c/em> killed a man with all of his rage issues?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn is reading what all girls who've just lost a child read: \u003cem>Teen Magazine\u003c/em> with Blink 182 on the cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of the wishes attached to the trinkets in the buried box didn't exactly pan out. Britney met her mom! But she was a sociopath. Taryn got to dip her toe in the ocean! But then had to engage with her rapist and lose her baby. Zoe was almost married! But her fiancé raped her best friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So what lesson is \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em> trying to teach us? Life suuuuuucks. Also, you're not having fun unless you're singing along to the radio while giggling. Got it loud and clear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the characters asks: \"God, doesn't it feel like we left home a million years ago?\" Yes, it does. This movie is way longer than it has to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And keeps getting longer as Britney agrees to go back to Georgia, and the three girls all get into a car with Dan Aykroyd for the solemn trip home. A half a block later, she rethinks everything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She stands up to her codependent dad, who just a second ago was like \"You're coming back to Georgia\" but then sees that she really likes this random unexplained older dude with the creepy tats. He kind of smiles in a resigned way, while he watching them make out. Her friends get out of the car to watch too. Not weird at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooh, it's finally time for the auditions. Brit is wearing jeans and a crop top with some seriously weird sleeves. This is definitely what all open auditions look like. But what is she singing, you ask? It's her super bad poem put to music, of course!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZkVbJRKF7E\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, the girls bury yet another box. This time, it's full of stuff they want to forget. They put it under approximately 3 inches of sand. It probably won't take 8 years for that to be unearthed this time. They stomp on it and giggle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The future is undecided. Britney will still probably wear that ugly-ass baby beach hat, but she had sex, at least! She might still go to college and be pre-med, like her dad wanted, but she might also get this record contract and stay in LA and instantly become famous and she'll definitely never, ever flip out and shave her head and make bad marriage choices in Vegas because other people have been controlling her every move from the time she could walk. It remains to be seen, y'all. For now, she's not a girl, not yet a woman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19165\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears\" width=\"525\" height=\"316\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Relive this clunker masterpiece with our play-by-play analysis!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>We asked \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/03/get-out-and-vote-for-your-favorite-stupid-pop-star-crossover-movie/\" target=\"_blank\">which pop star crossover movie\u003c/a> we should live blog and you unanimously picked \u003c/em>Crossroads\u003cem>, Britney Spears' one and only movie! Ask and y'all shall receive:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Baby versions of Britney Spears, Zoe Saldana and Taryn Manning dig into the Earth to bury some super secret trinkets. One of them says \"This is fun!\" It's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trivia: Bb Brit is played by her IRL sister, Jamie Lynn!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Opening credits are boring until you realize Shonda Rhimes wrote this clunker masterpiece.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two minutes in and Britney is already in her underwear, a creepy reward for all the dads who might have taken their kids to see this movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19082 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/large.gif\" alt=\"britney cereal crossroads gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney eats her breakfast standing up, while singing along to a Madonna song. Platform heels keep her cereal company.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dan Aykroyd comes in to bug her about five different things (he's supposed to be her wet blanket dad). \u003cem>How did he end up in this movie?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Britney's school on graduation day. She's hanging out with that dude from the Mac commercials who dated Drew Barrymore for a hot second. They're supposed to be ugly dorks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is not an even an attempt to make them look like actual ugly dorks. No low-rent overalls-ification, à la \u003cem>She's All That\u003c/em>, even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A pregnant Taryn walks down the hallway, looking downtrodden. Some random girl taunts \"When's the baby due?\" A gross dude says, \"Hey, Mimi, you know you want me,\" flicks his tongue at her, and then, for good measure, calls her a \"ho.\" Taryn is completely within her rights to pull a Carrie and torch that school and all the jerks inside it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe Saldana descends a staircase with her clique, complimenting herself. She bumps into Britney and freaks the F out. They are randomly mortal enemies now, buried box be damned. Zoe half-recites the best line from \u003cem>Clueless\u003c/em>: \"You're a virgin!\" (The assumption is that Britney \u003cem>can\u003c/em> drive.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>According to this movie, there are three options for women in life: virgin who does everything her dad says, mean popular girl who secretly hates herself, or teen pregnancy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe's mom is wearing a killer hat and bullies her to smile more. She makes this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19152\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 11.25.41 AM\" width=\"725\" height=\"404\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM.png 725w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-11.25.41-AM-400x223.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 725px) 100vw, 725px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some teacher finds Britney and her dad to say that she hopes Britney continues studying music in college. Dan Aykroyd is like, \u003cem>Bahahaha, nope, she's gonna be a doctor\u003c/em>. Britney dies a little inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Britney is crying. \"Pop, I worked really hard to be the valedictorian.\" Book learnin' is hard, y'all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, in case there was any confusion, this is when it becomes clear that 100% complete suspension of belief is necessary for this movie to work. It's not that very pretty girls can't be smart. It's that Britney Spears -- eesh, how to put this? -- doesn't seem like she has both of those qualities going in equal measure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She goes on to explain how she put all this work into realizing her dream and getting an award for it, but ultimately felt nothing. She missed out on being a real teen. \"I never just, like, hung out. Is this it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This little monologue could easily be applied to Britney's actual life. It was a warning for what was to come: much like her character, real life Britney was left feeling empty from the accolades and the fame. She missed out on being a real person so she acted out by dating Kevin Federline, smoking weed and...well, the rest is too sad to get into right now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19153\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears-sad.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears-sad\" width=\"450\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is also, nearly verbatim, dialogue from the sad valedictorian daughter and overbearing single dad interactions in \u003cem>Say Anything\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>. \u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anywaaaaay, the gang is at prom. Taryn wants to go dig up that old box and Britney is not having it because Mac dude is wearing a huge backpack (presumably full of condoms) and wants to take her virginity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn finds Zoe in a bathroom and brings up their pact to unearth their buried treasure. Zoe is stank and spits, \"Excuse me? I have better things to do than dig up some old box.\" Again, Taryn has every right to go full-on Carrie on these people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe and her hot mean friends are dancing in a circle while checking out the weird pseudo-grunge live band that would never actually play a high school prom. There's lots of expository conversation about Zoe's fiancé, who's in LA. He's cheating on her. Any viewer over the age of 6 would infer this from the 30 seconds of conversation these girls have while dancing robotically in a circle. Zoe does not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs in a hotel room, Big Backpack undresses hurriedly and puts baby powder all over his body. He is so ready. He also has multiple abs and is smoking hot. This equals nerd in Hollywood. Unlike the \"stud\" in this movie, he doesn't have a tribal tattoo so he's instantly unattractive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19154\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_mbtm1kFgLa1qb654w.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mbtm1kFgLa1qb654w\" width=\"500\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Marvin Gaye's \"Let's Get It On\" plays because duh. Britney does some seductive hand movements to announce her arrival. She takes off a suit jacket to reveal super sexy underwear. This movie is introducing the youth of America to fun singalongs \u003cem>and\u003c/em> eroticism! Two birds and all that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney isn't really feeling it. Big Backpack literally begs to have sex: \"Please, Lucy! C'mon! I'm begging you! Please! Let's just do it! Please!\" The answer is nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19155\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_mg65xuPhki1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mg65xuPhki1qdcxoeo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Taryn's ex asks, \"Wassup, Mimi? How's the fetus?\" Are we sure Shonda Rhimes wrote this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even though they hate each other's guts for no real reason, the three former friends show up to dig up their box. Where did Britney find a shovel between the prom and this park?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After some light laboring, they unearth their buried treasure. Whatever is in there better be good! Is it a middle school slam book? Long dead Tamagotchis? A stash of Dunkaroos??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope, all we get is a Polaroid, a locket of Brit's absent mom, a globe keychain, and a bridal Barbie. Never meet your idols and never dig up dumb crap you buried when you were young.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn shares the meaning of her globe keychain: her younger self wished she'd eventually dip her toes in the Pacific Ocean. She's actually heading there in two days to do said dipping and also to enter some singing contest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brit and Zoe don't miss a beat in raining all over her parade. Britney needlessly points out, \"You're pregnant!\" Zoe adds her rude two cents: \"You think you're gonna be this big fat pregnant star?\" WTF. People treat pregnant women horribly in this movie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Zoe is on the phone with her fiancé. She hasn't seen him in 5 months. His name is Dylan and he lives in California. How amazing would it have been if Luke Perry played that role? And how amazing would it have been if the terrible dialogue in this movie didn't inspire continual pre-puke mouth sweats?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Britney is all F this place and sneaks into her dad's room to put an \u003cem>I'm outtie\u003c/em> note on his bedside table. He is sleeping in a single bed. Nothing could be sadder.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe is on a mission to go see Luke Perry so she joins Taryn, as she gets ready for the road trip. Britney appears, wearing an offensive hat she goes on to wear for the majority of the movie. It's the kind of hat you put on a baby at the beach.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19156\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lsv0vxVqd31r3ty02o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"257\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The dude from the unlikely prom band is going to be traveling with them. His backstory is never explained. Also not explained: why he wants to drive a bunch of girls he doesn't know across the country. What we do know: he can operate a car, he is kind of cute but not really, and he has cringe-y tattoos. Good enough, I guess. Hop in!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When we all think of road trips and how fun they are, we're thinking of the first two hours or so, when you can still feel your butt and you're not car sick yet and you're having fun singing real loud with the windows down and you don't despise anyone in the car just yet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls convince random dude to change the music from rock to *NSYNC. The girls joyously sing aloud. Britney knows every word 'cause her boyfriend at the time of the filming was none other than Justin Timberlake. They eventually broke up in February 2002. The movie was released a month later. BURN.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19157 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"giphy (2)\" width=\"1000\" height=\"563\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, all the girls get ready in the bathroom at the same time. Taryn has a toothbrush in her hair because she's such a kooky rebel.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also this movie is starting to seem like they dreamed up different situations in which Brit could logically be almost naked and then wrote the (loose) narrative around them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A rumor spreads that the random dude they're rolling with went to prison for killing a man. They are all like, ewww! They proceed to shun him for the rest of the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They stop at a grocery store. Taryn is hungry and asks Britney to get her some chips. Britney says no because this movie is all about punishing pregnant women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn goes inside to get some Cheetos for herself. (You go, girl.) Britney and Zoe make her feel bad about being pregnant again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Britney calls her dad and then hangs up on him. She is wearing a ruffled top with pastel flowers on it to remind you, the viewer, that she's still a virgin. It works.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer catches Britney in the rearview and asks: \"What are you writing in there?\" Britney says, \"Stuff.\" The interaction ends and someone was paid to write it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The car breaks down. Taryn says she's hungry. Zoe yells at her to shut up because, again, we hate pregnant women with cravings. Someone get her some chips please!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn and Zoe get into a shoving match. Then, Zoe pulls Taryn's hair. Britney has had it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"giphy (3)\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/FtMRseWNuyDx.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/FtMRseWNuyDx.gif\" alt=\"FtMRseWNuyDx\" width=\"500\" height=\"265\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang needs money to repair their broken car so they do what any of us would do: enter a karaoke contest! This is the second time Taryn has come through with a fully formulated and potentially life-changing plan for the three of them based on a flyer she apparently found in a gas station.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls are hanging out in a large, fancy backstage dressing room before going on because this always happens when anyone sings karaoke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe takes a look at what Britney plans to go out there wearing and is like yeah, no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next time we see her, Brit is wearing a barely there ripped top, lots o' body glitter and all her hairs are crimped! Nothing screams sex like the work of a crimping iron.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19160\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nlxs4ktLtj1qdcxoeo1_500\" width=\"482\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone from the crowd shouts, \"Look at that chick, she's pregnant!\" Seriously, what is up with this movie and the preg shaming? Maybe the whole film is an allegory for the way our culture disdains the power of a woman's body and feels the need to objectify and shame it to keep it under patriarchal control? Yeah, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite the entire premise of this movie being centered on Taryn wanting to enter some singing contest in California, she gets up there and is REALLY bothered by the bright lights and has a mild panic attack. People boo very quickly (because she's pregnant) and she begs Britney to sing in her stead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shy valedictorian Britney is nervous for about 30 seconds but then pulls it off and becomes a major sexpot for the remaining three minutes of the song, vamping, strutting, and rubbing her back on a stripper pole because she needs them tips for the broken car.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We see that this is working because the camera cuts no fewer than four times to the tip jar which is a giant jar that says TIPS, and people are putting money in it every time. The crowd is shouting excitedly and dancing and behaving exactly like people behave at random low-rent karaoke shows. Also, people dig it because the pregnant girl is in the background where she belongs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the performance, random Maybe Murderer is acting like a Maybe Pimp as he counts all the money the girls made.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's interrupted by a bro wondering if Britney is his girl. Maybe Pimp says no so the bro says \"watch this\" to his friends and goes to aggressively dance with Britney. It goes from zero to date rape in three seconds flat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Pimp knocks the bro out. Taryn grabs all their money and they all run.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that they have money, their hotel room's carpet and wallpaper aren't so scarily saturated. Zoe is excited about the mini bar. She doesn't yet realize that stuff is not free.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Pimp is permanently emblazoned on our sh*t list when he says to Britney: \"I'm not mad at you for what happened back there.\" Exsqueeze me? Why in any universe would he need to clarify that? Instead of realizing this dude is a misogynist, Britney feels bad about herself. Maybe Pimp says he needs to take a walk. Perfect idea, dude. Find the nearest cliff.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With that victim blaming loser out of their hair, the girls drink three sips of alcohol and dance for a really long time while giggling. Taryn drinks a lot of Pepsi. This movie was definitely released during the time period when Brit had a major deal with Pepsi. Things are pretty great.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe opens up about why she's so rude. She used to go to fat camp and her mom is competitive with her! I guess that makes up for all the mean comments.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we move to some sort of beautiful courtyard location (?) that apparently exists at this rundown motel, it is suddenly daytime, and the convo gets very real. Britney opens up about her absent mother and Taryn opens up about being raped. It was by a guy drinking beer out of a blue bottle. REMEMBER THIS. They all hug and promise not to lose touch again. \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5CddQf5OVI\" target=\"_blank\">Ya ya\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney says she's hungover but really doesn't seem it. Taryn talks about how good a burrito she's eating is. She finally got something to eat!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The girls sing along to Shania Twain because it's been 10 whole minutes without a dance sequence or singalong.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/4vlbGur.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/4vlbGur.gif\" alt=\"4vlbGur\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer wakes up in the back seat to the girls singing and FREAKS OUT. He wants Britney to pull over. She says she will at the next exit. He continues to freak out and HITS THE BACK OF HER SEAT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, how many passes are you gonna give this guy? He maybe killed someone, he got mad at a girl for being assaulted by some dude and then made her feel bad about the experience, and now he's getting physical. Maybe it's time the girls maybe murdered \u003cem>him\u003c/em>! Or I guess they could just leave him on the side of the road. Whatever, just get rid of him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This movie kind of feels like a PG version of the \u003ca href=\"http://time.com/4090799/zola-twitter-florida-story/\" target=\"_blank\">infamous Zola story\u003c/a> that blew up Twitter last month. A road trip gone wrong. Hot-headed men who think they run stuff. Almost stripping.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer storms out of the car and proceeds to throw rocks and kick the dirt and yell a bunch. He explains that he's a guy and he can't handle them doing their \"girly things\" in his car. If fragile masculinity had a human form and gave a short monologue in a crappy movie, this would be it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney schools him on how sexist and damaging his world view is and drops some Gloria Steinem, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and bell hooks quotes on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, Britney doesn't do that at all because this world is all wrong. Instead she says \"Okay\" and smiles. Sigh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the car, Maybe Murderer is in the driver's seat and listening to macho music so he's not randomly attacking the girls anymore. Yay?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brit asks if he ever killed a man and he explains that no he actually helped out his stepsister and got locked up for six months for it. The characters nod sagely, contemplating our broken justice system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this movie needs to make sure it embarrasses anyone associated with it for years to come, we find the gang on a random cliff where they -- you guessed it! -- yell into the abyss.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They decide to camp for the night, after asking Not a Murderer But Still Definitely a Piece of Sh*t if he has four sleeping bags. He smiles. Why on earth would he have four sleeping bags??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess he does because next thing you know it's nighttime and they're camping. Taryn teaches Zoe how to fight. Zoe has rollers in her hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer asks Britney what she's writing again, since she's being all shy and valedictorian-like with a notebook by the campfire. She says, \"Poems mostly.\" She recites the lyrics to \"Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman.\" Wordsworth is rolling in his grave with jealousy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn freaks out cause she got bitten on the butt by a snake while peeing. No, wait, it's just a mosquito bite. WTF is this movie?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, they drop Britney off at the mansion that belongs to the mom who abandoned her when she was three. They all hug. They make a point to tell her that they're not leaving town until tomorrow, which makes no sense seeing as they've been on a very efficiently timed road trip up until now and were clearly worried about getting to LA on schedule.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway: Britney's mom. An alternate universe Samantha Jones of \u003cem>Sex and the City\u003c/em> opens the door, wearing an outfit ready for a safari, and is not having any of it. \"I came to see you, mama!\" \"Now why would you do that, Lucy?\" Geez! Cold-hearted!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She has pictures on the mantle of Britney's half-brothers. Britney asks if they know who she is. Samantha makes a I'm-just-not-that-into-you face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The rest of the interaction happens off-screen because the writers of this movie probably didn't know how to write an emotionally gripping scene.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney shows up at her friends' hotel room, wet from the rain cause rain equals emotion. She is super sad and sits on the bathroom floor. She later explains that her mom never wanted her, but that they do look alike and she has her eyes and hands (huh).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe Murderer comforts her by ripping out a poem from her journal. She doesn't seem mad about that, but she is probably internally screaming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He takes her to a piano in the corner of a large and well-lit room, which every ramshackle hotel in Arizona apparently has, and plays her the music to her poem. Britney \"sings.\" It's awful. They make out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney decides to go to LA to make out some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19167\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"giphy (4)\" width=\"500\" height=\"327\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the car. Sheryl Crow singalong cause duh. The rule is that, every time anyone sings along to the radio in this movie, they must laugh like it's the CRAZIEST thing anyone's ever done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If It Makes You Happy\" lasts the length of a montage, which takes them all the way to LA, which you know you are in when you see palm trees. Also, all road trips to LA culminate in Sheryl Crow songs. It's part of a deal she has worked out with the travel bureau.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The gang goes to the beach and realizes that the Pacific Ocean is cold as f*ck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're all suddenly in a horde of people who are gathered for more information about the weird open audition. Jesse Camp, that dude who won the VJ contest on MTV, hassles Zoe in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19163\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 12.54.38 PM\" width=\"512\" height=\"404\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM.png 512w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-12.54.38-PM-400x316.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Zoe calls Dylan to excitedly tell him she's in LA to see him! He's like \"Ugh, not now\" and she is still confused about a situation that her friends all explained to her very clearly \u003cem>weeks\u003c/em> ago at prom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe wants to go sightseeing to distract herself from her sham engagement. Taryn is down, but Britney is \"too tired,\" which is code for \"Imma lose my virginity today, y'all!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the car, Taryn finds out Zoe's sightseeing adventure is actually just a drive over to Dylan's house to force him to hang. Taryn freaks out with good reason (you'll find out why in a sec).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Maybe Murderer dramatically taking off his tank top. He pins Britney against a window that overlooks crashing waves. His tribal tattoo is everywhere. The camera pans to the waves crashing against the shore and then a sunset. This movie was PG-13, remember.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Zoe forces Taryn to come up to Dylan's front door with her. This is a really bad idea. He's hanging out with some other chick who resembles \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_C_(singer)\" target=\"_blank\">Vitamin C\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19164\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 1.07.44 PM\" width=\"554\" height=\"391\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM.png 554w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/Screen-Shot-2015-11-23-at-1.07.44-PM-400x282.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 554px) 100vw, 554px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if that's not bad enough, he's also Taryn's rapist. Zoe realizes this when, in the midst of a cartoonishly buffoonish speech about how he didn't think cheating on his fiancé was a big deal, the guy takes a swig of beer from a blue bottle. A BLUE BOTTLE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone who performs crimes while doing or wearing distinctively colored things always continues to do or wear those things for the rest of time. This is how you can spot them later. It's called brand loyalty. It's very helpful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn flees and falls down the stairs. Her globe keychain dramatically bounces down and down in slow motion. Is she losing her desire to see the world??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No. She does lose her baby though. \"I would have been a good mom,\" she tearfully tells Britney, who shows up kinda like \"Sorry I wasn't there, I was getting laid?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is all getting a little too real for Brit so she asks her dad to fly out from Georgia. He is there, at the hospital, within 20 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His first line: \"Just what were you thinking running away...with a pregnant girl!\" Again, why does everyone in the \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em> universe deride procreation/women/women's bodies so much??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His second concern: \"How old is he anyway?\" Glad he asked because we're also confused about how old Maybe Murderer is. And where does he live and what is his deal and why does he hate women and how has he\u003cem> not\u003c/em> killed a man with all of his rage issues?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taryn is reading what all girls who've just lost a child read: \u003cem>Teen Magazine\u003c/em> with Blink 182 on the cover.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of the wishes attached to the trinkets in the buried box didn't exactly pan out. Britney met her mom! But she was a sociopath. Taryn got to dip her toe in the ocean! But then had to engage with her rapist and lose her baby. Zoe was almost married! But her fiancé raped her best friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So what lesson is \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em> trying to teach us? Life suuuuuucks. Also, you're not having fun unless you're singing along to the radio while giggling. Got it loud and clear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the characters asks: \"God, doesn't it feel like we left home a million years ago?\" Yes, it does. This movie is way longer than it has to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And keeps getting longer as Britney agrees to go back to Georgia, and the three girls all get into a car with Dan Aykroyd for the solemn trip home. A half a block later, she rethinks everything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She stands up to her codependent dad, who just a second ago was like \"You're coming back to Georgia\" but then sees that she really likes this random unexplained older dude with the creepy tats. He kind of smiles in a resigned way, while he watching them make out. Her friends get out of the car to watch too. Not weird at all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooh, it's finally time for the auditions. Brit is wearing jeans and a crop top with some seriously weird sleeves. This is definitely what all open auditions look like. But what is she singing, you ask? It's her super bad poem put to music, of course!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/sZkVbJRKF7E'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/sZkVbJRKF7E'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Later that night, the girls bury yet another box. This time, it's full of stuff they want to forget. They put it under approximately 3 inches of sand. It probably won't take 8 years for that to be unearthed this time. They stomp on it and giggle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The future is undecided. Britney will still probably wear that ugly-ass baby beach hat, but she had sex, at least! She might still go to college and be pre-med, like her dad wanted, but she might also get this record contract and stay in LA and instantly become famous and she'll definitely never, ever flip out and shave her head and make bad marriage choices in Vegas because other people have been controlling her every move from the time she could walk. It remains to be seen, y'all. For now, she's not a girl, not yet a woman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19165\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/britney-spears.gif\" alt=\"britney-spears\" width=\"525\" height=\"316\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"slug": "sf-sketchfest-2016-includes-waiting-for-guffman-tribute-sally-field",
"title": "SF Sketchfest 2016 Includes 'Waiting For Guffman' Tribute, Sally Field",
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"headTitle": "SF Sketchfest 2016 Includes ‘Waiting For Guffman’ Tribute, Sally Field | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cp>The 2016 lineup for SF Sketchfest, San Francisco’s massively popular comedy festival, has been announced and just like previous years, it’s jam-packed and star-studded, with celebrities such as Sally Field, Jon Hamm and Parker Posey signed up for featured events.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Described as being “one of America’s most respected comedy festivals” by \u003ci>Rolling Stone,\u003c/i> next year’s SF Sketchfest — its 15th — will consist of over 200 events spread across over 16 days. Along with the sketch, stand up and improv comedy events that are the reason the festival started, there will be several film events, live game shows and podcast recordings, and even some events for the kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Top billing in the lineup is the 20th anniversary tribute to the hilarious Christopher Guest comedy \u003ci>Waiting For Guffman\u003c/i> that will include a cast reunion featuring Guest, Posey, Fred Willard and Bob Balaban. Also being featured is a in-person tribute to Oscar-winning actress Sally Field, who will have an on-stage conversation with comedic writer and actor Michael Showalter, and later show the movie they made together, \u003ci>Hello, My Name is Doris.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other featured events include the almost random-seeming pairing of comedian Patton Oswalt and Oakland rapper Boots Riley (of The Coup) for an “in conversation” event, and a performance by Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tickets range from $12 to $50 and go on sale Sunday, Nov. 22 at 10am. To buy tickets and and learn more information, go to \u003ca href=\"http://sfsketchfest.com/x/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sfsketchfest.com.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Check the list below for other events happening at SF Sketchfest.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>SF Sketchfest Tributes & Spotlights\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tribute to “\u003cem>Waiting For Guffman\u003c/em>: Sesquicentennial + 20” with Bob Balaban, Christopher Guest, Parker Posey & Fred Willard\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tribute to Sally Field: \u003cem>Hello, My Name Is Doris\u003c/em> Screening and Conversation with Sally Field & Michael Showalter\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tribute to Jeff Goldblum: Conversation and Music with Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tribute to Patton Oswalt in Conversation with Boots Riley\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tribute to \u003cem>Bob’s Burgers\u003c/em>: Loren Bouchard, Dan Mintz, Eugene Mirman, Larry Murphy, John Roberts & Kristen Schaal\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● SF Sketchfest Comedy Writing Award: Dave Barry in Conversation\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Spotlight on \u003cem>Drunk History\u003c/em> with Derek Waters & Friends\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Big Night Special Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald & Scott Thompson: Three Out of Five Ain’t Bad\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Facebook Improv with Owen Burke, Seth Morris, Paul Scheer and Charlie Sanders\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Morzouksnick with Nick Kroll, Jason Mantzoukas and Seth Morris\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Nerds and Music: A Night With Pat Rothfuss and Paul & Storm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● A Night with John Lurie in conversation with Parker Posey: \u003cem>Fishing with John\u003c/em> 25th Anniversary\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Noel Fielding and Bobcat Goldthwait in conversation\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● NPR’s Ask Me Another\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Princess: Maya Rudolph and Gretchen Lieberum in an Evening of the Music of Prince\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Spontaneanation\u003c/em> with Paul F. Tompkins, Craig Cackowski, Matt Gourley, Janet Varney and Special Guest Jon Hamm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>StarTalk Live\u003c/em> with Bill Nye the Science Guy and Eugene Mirman\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Upright Citizens Brigade ASSSSCAT with Matt Besser, Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh, Jon Gabrus, Mary Holland, Brian Huskey and guest monologists Sally Field and Michael Showalter\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Film & Video Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Found Footage Festival meets Everything is Terrible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hey Monster, Hands Off My City\u003c/em> with Michael Meehan, Johnny Steele and Reggie Steele\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hook\u003c/em> 25th Anniversary Screening with Dante Basco and James Madio (The Lost Boys’ Rufio and Don’t Ask)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hot Shots\u003c/em> 25th Anniversary with Jim Abrahams and Pat Proft\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● RiffTrax Night of the Shorts VI with Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● THE MADS ARE BACK! Live Movie Riffing with Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Teen Witch\u003c/em>: The Peaches Christ Experience with Robyn Lively, Josh Miller and Mandy Ingber\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Television Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>BoJack Horseman\u003c/em> with Paul F. Tompkins, Lisa Hanawalt, Mike Hollingsworth and creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist\u003c/em> Live\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Futurama\u003c/em>: Nothing New To Report with John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, Lauren Tom and Billy West\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Galavanting with \u003cem>Galavant\u003c/em> with Timothy Omundson, Karen David, Mallory Jansen, Luke Youngblood and showrunners John Hoberg and Kat Likkel\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Pete & Pete Forever: \u003cem>The Adventures of Pete and Pete\u003c/em> Live with Michael C. Maronna, Danny Tamberelli, Toby Huss, Alison Fanelli, Rick Gomez, Mark Mulcahy, and creators Chris Viscardi and Will McRobb\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Sledge Hammer!\u003c/em> 30th Anniversary with creator Alan Spencer and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Chris Gethard Show Presents: Chris Gethard versus Vacation Jason in a Literal Fight to the Death!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Theatrical Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Celebrity Autobiography with Pamela Adlon, Scott Adsit, Laraine Newman, Eugene Pack, Dayle Reyfel, Michael Urie and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dead Pilots Society\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Workjuice Theater with Paget Brewster, Craig Cackowski, Mark Gagliardi, Marc Evan Jackson, Hal Lublin, Paul F. Tompkins and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Debates\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Presidential Debate: The Write-In Candidates with James Adomian, Matt Besser, Paul Gilmartin, Mary Houlihan, Brian Huskey, Dan Van Kirk and moderator Tom Shillue from Fox News Channel’s “Red Eye”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Great Debate: “Donald Trump vs. Don(ald) Draper – Who Will Destroy America?” with Matt Price and IIyse Mimoun\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Uptown Showdown: The Internet vs. Real Life (IRL) with Maria Bamford, Guy Branum, Janeane Garofalo, Moshe Kasher, Natasha Leggero, Aparna Nancherla and emcee Beth Lisick\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Game Shows & Interactive Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bluff You with Jimmy Pardo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Cultivated Wit’s Comedy Hack Day Finals\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Iron Comic with Nato Green and Moshe Kasher\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Jo Firestone’s “Friends of Single People” and “Incredible Game Show Showcase”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Quiz-o-Tron with Rebecca Watson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Improv Comedy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● BATS: Improvised Game of Thrones\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Black Version\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Each/Other with Scott Adsit and Tami Sagher\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Gravid Water\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Groundlings: Crazy Uncle Joe Show\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Groundlings: Personals with Stephanie Courtney, Jim Rash and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Improvised Shakespeare Company with Joey Bland, Ross Bryant, Greg Hess, Thomas Middleditch and Blaine Swen\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Prompter\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Speechless\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Theme Park Improv with Ian Brennan, John Michael Higgins, Michael Hitchcock, Jessica Makinson, Oscar Nunez, Cole Stratton and Janet Varney\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Who is Debbie Powell? with Eric Stonestreet, Dana Powell, Jessica Makinson and Michael Bunin\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Kids Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Groundlings Children’s Show with Stephanie Courtney, Beth Littleford and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mo Willems’ Don’t Let the Comedians Do Storytime!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Music & Comedy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● BAKED with Brendon Small & Steve Agee\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bring the Rock with Greg Behrendt\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Imaginary Radio Program with Drennon Davis\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Jonathan Coulton & Friends\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Martin Starr and Band\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Night of Too Many Musical Comedians with Eli Braden, Drennon Davis, Dragon Boy Suede, Eliot Glazer: Haunting Renditions, Allie Goertz, Reformed Whores and DJ Real\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Undone Sweaters: A Weezer Cover Band with Jim Tews, Reid Faylor, Andrew Short and Danny Tamberelli plus Weezer-themed comedy from Jonah Ray and Jacob Sirof\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Wheels Off with Rhett Miller\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Podcasts & Talk Shows\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Come To Papa\u003c/em> with Tom Papa\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Comedy Nation\u003c/em> with John Fugelsang\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Computer Show\u003c/em> Live with Rob Baedeker\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The CrabFeast Podcast\u003c/em> with Jay Larson and Ryan Sickler\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Dork Forest\u003c/em> with Jackie Kashian\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem> Harmontown \u003c/em>with Dan Harmon and Jeff B. Davis\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hound Tall\u003c/em> with Moshe Kasher\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>improv4humans\u003c/em> with Matt Besser\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Jonah Raydio\u003c/em> with Jonah Ray\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Jordan, Jesse, Go!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Judge John Hodgman\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The JV Club\u003c/em> with Janet Varney and guests Chuck Bryant and Josh Clark\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Never Not Funny\u003c/em> with Jimmy Pardo, Matt Belknap, Pat Francis and special guest Jon Hamm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Pep Talks\u003c/em> with Eddie Pepitone\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Pop My Culture\u003c/em> Podcast with Cole Stratton and Vanessa Ragland and guest Fred Willard\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Probably Science\u003c/em> with Matt Kirshen and Andy Wood\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Rock Solid\u003c/em> with Pat Francis and David Wild\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Roderick on the Line\u003c/em> with John Roderick and Merlin Mann\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Ronna & Beverly\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Sklarbro Country\u003c/em> with The Sklar Brothers\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Stuff You Should Know\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Superego\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The Todd Barry Podcast\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Uhh Yeah Dude\u003c/em> with Jonathan Larroquette and Seth Romatelli\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The Wahlberg Solution\u003c/em> with Dan Van Kirk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Walking the Room\u003c/em> with Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>We Got This with Mark and Hal\u003c/em> and guest Adam Savage\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The World of Phil Hendrie\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>You’re the Expert\u003c/em> with Chris Duffy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sketch Comedy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Boat\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Birthday Boys\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● BriTANick\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Charles\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dead Kevin\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Killing My Lobster\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mission CTRL\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Paul Brittain: Sex Ed Vincent\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Storytelling/Theatrical\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bawdy Storytelling\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction with Bryan Cook\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● First Comes Love with Kyle Ayers\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mortified\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Porchlight with Beth Lisick and Arline Klatte\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>RISK!\u003c/em> with Kevin Allison\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>This is Not Happening\u003c/em> with Ari Shaffir\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Variety and Stand-Up\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● 2 Dope Queens with Phoebe Robinson and Jessica Williams\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● 7 Minutes in Purgatory with Ian Abramson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Alex Edelman: Millennial\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Alex Koll & Chris Thayer\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Andy Kindler’s Particular Show\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Aparna Nancherla\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Baron Vaughn\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Billy Wayne Davis\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bobcat Goldthwait with Caitlin Gill: The Just Friends Tour\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brandon Wardell\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brent Weinbach Presents Spotlight on Andy Kaufman Award winner Brett Davis and finalists Jo Firestone and Ben Kronberg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brunches with Funches: Giggles & Nibbles with Ron Funches & Friends\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Chris Gethard: Career Suicide\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Cool Thanks with Janine Brito and Dave Thomason\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dana Gould\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Fresh Out with Emily Heller and Adam Conover\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Grawlix with Adam Cayton-Holland, Andrew Orvedahl and Ben Roy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Invite Them Up with Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Janeane Garofalo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Jeff Garlin and Associates\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Joe Machi & Lachlan Patterson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Josh Androsky & Clare O’Kane\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Judah Friedlander: “If The Raindrops United” Stand-up and Book Release Show\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Little Esther Goes Through Your Stuff with Esther Povitsky\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Maria Bamford with Jackie Kashian and Natasha Muse\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Meet Me in the Bathroom and Tell Me All Your Secrets with Dave Hill\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mo Willems’ Writing For Kids For Grown-Ups\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Natasha Leggero\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Picture This! with Brandie Posey\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Pound House Live with Brent Weinbach and DJ Douggpound\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Put Your Hands Together with Cameron Esposito & Rhea Butcher\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● RoastSF Presents: Comedy Roast of Broke Ass Stuart\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Rooftop Comedy Showcases\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Seeso Presents: Big Jay Oakerson’s What’s Your F@%king Deal?! with Big Jay Oakerson and Ardie Fuqua\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Set List\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● SF Sketchfest Comedy NightLife at the California Academy of Sciences\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The SF Sketchfest Dozen, the Next Wave of Stand-Up Comedy Stars: Tone Bell, Chris Cubas, Joe DeRosa, Maggie Maye, Matt McCarthy, Julian McCullough, Esther Povitsky, Erica Rhodes, Sarah Tiana, Alice Wetterlund, Jenny Zigrino, Joe Zimmerman\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● SF Sketchfest Threesome: Barry Rothbart / Seaton Smith and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Solomon Georgio\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Tom Shillue\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Ultimate Crowd Work Show: Todd Barry and Big Jay Oakerson and Friends\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Workshops\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Improv and Sketch Workshop with Kevin McDonald\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Sell It! 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Bettawork, Andie Main, Sean McKenzie, Andrew Michaan, Allison Mick, Mike Breen, Amy Miller, Mime Com Show, Emmett Montgomery, Natasha Muse, Abhay Nadkarni, Naptime, Neel Nanda, Clay Newman, David Nguyen, Joe Nguyen, Katie Nguyen, Ify Nwadiwe, Lauren O’Brien, John F. 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"excerpt": "The lineup for the SF Sketchfest's 15th year has been announced and it's jam-packed: 200 events over 16 days.",
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"title": "SF Sketchfest 2016 Includes 'Waiting For Guffman' Tribute, Sally Field | KQED",
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"headline": "SF Sketchfest 2016 Includes 'Waiting For Guffman' Tribute, Sally Field",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The 2016 lineup for SF Sketchfest, San Francisco’s massively popular comedy festival, has been announced and just like previous years, it’s jam-packed and star-studded, with celebrities such as Sally Field, Jon Hamm and Parker Posey signed up for featured events.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Described as being “one of America’s most respected comedy festivals” by \u003ci>Rolling Stone,\u003c/i> next year’s SF Sketchfest — its 15th — will consist of over 200 events spread across over 16 days. Along with the sketch, stand up and improv comedy events that are the reason the festival started, there will be several film events, live game shows and podcast recordings, and even some events for the kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Top billing in the lineup is the 20th anniversary tribute to the hilarious Christopher Guest comedy \u003ci>Waiting For Guffman\u003c/i> that will include a cast reunion featuring Guest, Posey, Fred Willard and Bob Balaban. Also being featured is a in-person tribute to Oscar-winning actress Sally Field, who will have an on-stage conversation with comedic writer and actor Michael Showalter, and later show the movie they made together, \u003ci>Hello, My Name is Doris.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Other featured events include the almost random-seeming pairing of comedian Patton Oswalt and Oakland rapper Boots Riley (of The Coup) for an “in conversation” event, and a performance by Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tickets range from $12 to $50 and go on sale Sunday, Nov. 22 at 10am. To buy tickets and and learn more information, go to \u003ca href=\"http://sfsketchfest.com/x/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sfsketchfest.com.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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Tompkins, Craig Cackowski, Matt Gourley, Janet Varney and Special Guest Jon Hamm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>StarTalk Live\u003c/em> with Bill Nye the Science Guy and Eugene Mirman\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Upright Citizens Brigade ASSSSCAT with Matt Besser, Ian Roberts, Matt Walsh, Jon Gabrus, Mary Holland, Brian Huskey and guest monologists Sally Field and Michael Showalter\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Film & Video Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Found Footage Festival meets Everything is Terrible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hey Monster, Hands Off My City\u003c/em> with Michael Meehan, Johnny Steele and Reggie Steele\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hook\u003c/em> 25th Anniversary Screening with Dante Basco and James Madio (The Lost Boys’ Rufio and Don’t Ask)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hot Shots\u003c/em> 25th Anniversary with Jim Abrahams and Pat Proft\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● RiffTrax Night of the Shorts VI with Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● THE MADS ARE BACK! Live Movie Riffing with Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Teen Witch\u003c/em>: The Peaches Christ Experience with Robyn Lively, Josh Miller and Mandy Ingber\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Television Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>BoJack Horseman\u003c/em> with Paul F. Tompkins, Lisa Hanawalt, Mike Hollingsworth and creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist\u003c/em> Live\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Futurama\u003c/em>: Nothing New To Report with John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, Lauren Tom and Billy West\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Galavanting with \u003cem>Galavant\u003c/em> with Timothy Omundson, Karen David, Mallory Jansen, Luke Youngblood and showrunners John Hoberg and Kat Likkel\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Pete & Pete Forever: \u003cem>The Adventures of Pete and Pete\u003c/em> Live with Michael C. Maronna, Danny Tamberelli, Toby Huss, Alison Fanelli, Rick Gomez, Mark Mulcahy, and creators Chris Viscardi and Will McRobb\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Sledge Hammer!\u003c/em> 30th Anniversary with creator Alan Spencer and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Chris Gethard Show Presents: Chris Gethard versus Vacation Jason in a Literal Fight to the Death!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Special Theatrical Events\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Celebrity Autobiography with Pamela Adlon, Scott Adsit, Laraine Newman, Eugene Pack, Dayle Reyfel, Michael Urie and more\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dead Pilots Society\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Workjuice Theater with Paget Brewster, Craig Cackowski, Mark Gagliardi, Marc Evan Jackson, Hal Lublin, Paul F. 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Davis\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Hound Tall\u003c/em> with Moshe Kasher\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>improv4humans\u003c/em> with Matt Besser\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Jonah Raydio\u003c/em> with Jonah Ray\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Jordan, Jesse, Go!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Judge John Hodgman\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The JV Club\u003c/em> with Janet Varney and guests Chuck Bryant and Josh Clark\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Never Not Funny\u003c/em> with Jimmy Pardo, Matt Belknap, Pat Francis and special guest Jon Hamm\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Pep Talks\u003c/em> with Eddie Pepitone\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Pop My Culture\u003c/em> Podcast with Cole Stratton and Vanessa Ragland and guest Fred Willard\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Probably Science\u003c/em> with Matt Kirshen and Andy Wood\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Rock Solid\u003c/em> with Pat Francis and David Wild\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Roderick on the Line\u003c/em> with John Roderick and Merlin Mann\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Ronna & Beverly\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Sklarbro Country\u003c/em> with The Sklar Brothers\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Stuff You Should Know\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Superego\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The Todd Barry Podcast\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Uhh Yeah Dude\u003c/em> with Jonathan Larroquette and Seth Romatelli\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The Wahlberg Solution\u003c/em> with Dan Van Kirk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>Walking the Room\u003c/em> with Dave Anthony and Greg Behrendt\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>We Got This with Mark and Hal\u003c/em> and guest Adam Savage\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>The World of Phil Hendrie\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>You’re the Expert\u003c/em> with Chris Duffy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sketch Comedy\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Boat\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Birthday Boys\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● BriTANick\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Charles\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dead Kevin\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Killing My Lobster\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mission CTRL\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Paul Brittain: Sex Ed Vincent\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Storytelling/Theatrical\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bawdy Storytelling\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction with Bryan Cook\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● First Comes Love with Kyle Ayers\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mortified\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Porchlight with Beth Lisick and Arline Klatte\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>RISK!\u003c/em> with Kevin Allison\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● \u003cem>This is Not Happening\u003c/em> with Ari Shaffir\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Variety and Stand-Up\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● 2 Dope Queens with Phoebe Robinson and Jessica Williams\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● 7 Minutes in Purgatory with Ian Abramson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Alex Edelman: Millennial\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Alex Koll & Chris Thayer\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Andy Kindler’s Particular Show\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Aparna Nancherla\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Baron Vaughn\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Billy Wayne Davis\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Bobcat Goldthwait with Caitlin Gill: The Just Friends Tour\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brandon Wardell\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brent Weinbach Presents Spotlight on Andy Kaufman Award winner Brett Davis and finalists Jo Firestone and Ben Kronberg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Brunches with Funches: Giggles & Nibbles with Ron Funches & Friends\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Chris Gethard: Career Suicide\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Cool Thanks with Janine Brito and Dave Thomason\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Dana Gould\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Fresh Out with Emily Heller and Adam Conover\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● The Grawlix with Adam Cayton-Holland, Andrew Orvedahl and Ben Roy\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Invite Them Up with Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Janeane Garofalo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Jeff Garlin and Associates\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Joe Machi & Lachlan Patterson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Josh Androsky & Clare O’Kane\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Judah Friedlander: “If The Raindrops United” Stand-up and Book Release Show\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Little Esther Goes Through Your Stuff with Esther Povitsky\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Maria Bamford with Jackie Kashian and Natasha Muse\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Meet Me in the Bathroom and Tell Me All Your Secrets with Dave Hill\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Mo Willems’ Writing For Kids For Grown-Ups\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Natasha Leggero\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>● Picture This! 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"disqusTitle": "Having a Bad Day? Here's Nicki Minaj Reading Maya Angelou",
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"content": "\u003cp>So A&E is airing a special tonight. \"Shining A Light: A Concert for Progress on Race in America,\" which you can watch at 8 p.m. on the aforementioned cable network, will raise money for \u003ca href=\"http://www.unitedway.org/\" target=\"_blank\">United Way Worldwide\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, I have a few questions about the lineup of musicians and other celebrities that organizers apparently thought were the best possible choices for discussing race in America. John Legend and Jill Scott? Sure. Smokey Robinson, definitely. Sting? I think I can live without that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is no question, on the other hand, about my feelings for Nicki Minaj reciting \"Still I Rise,\" perhaps the most famous poem by the late great Dr. Maya Angelou. I feel exactly like the people whooping when Nicki says the line about diamonds at the meeting of her thighs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>AKA: Bookmarking this for those days when I don't really feel like a badass. Give a watch below:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MafMxdiXe6I\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"excerpt": " “Does my sexiness upset you?/ Does it come as a surprise?/ That I dance like I’ve got diamonds/ At the meeting of my thighs?”",
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"description": " “Does my sexiness upset you?/ Does it come as a surprise?/ That I dance like I’ve got diamonds/ At the meeting of my thighs?”",
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"content": "\u003cp>We chat with Joshua Johnson about everything from race and NPR's \"white voice\" to why we should be talking about Kim Kardashian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This week, we’re wondering how we should deal with beloved old movies that are problematic, like \u003cem>Sixteen Candles\u003c/em>, for instance:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-5827-1379530257-5.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19124\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-5827-1379530257-5.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-buzz-5827-1379530257-5\" width=\"500\" height=\"321\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're also questioning whether it's possible to separate the artist from the art:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/bill-cosby-loving-the-art-hating-the-artist-the-cosby-show\">http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/bill-cosby-loving-the-art-hating-the-artist-the-cosby-show\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We chat with \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/news/kqed-so-well-spoken\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">So Well Spoken\u003c/a>\u003c/em>'s Joshua Johnson about everything from race and NPR's \"white voice\" to why we \u003cem>should\u003c/em> be talking about Kim Kardashian:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/16948/the-real-reason-behind-the-outrage-over-kim-kardashian-being-on-npr\">https://www.kqed.org/pop/16948/the-real-reason-behind-the-outrage-over-kim-kardashian-being-on-npr\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we capped things off with a song of Joshua's choice: D'Angelo's \"Another Life\":\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTAnBM0ZdVI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n",
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"tagline": "The flip side of gentrification, told through one town",
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},
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"tagline": "Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time",
"info": "KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.",
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},
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"info": "KQED’s statewide radio news program providing daily coverage of issues, trends and public policy decisions.",
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"order": 8
},
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},
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"order": 1
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"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
"airtime": "THU 10pm, FRI 1am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
"link": "/radio/program/commonwealth-club",
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"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"order": 9
},
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"hidden-brain": {
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
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"source": "NPR"
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"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
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"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"order": 18
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},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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},
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},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
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"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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"rss": "https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
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"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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