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They were sent into outer space in 1977 to take pictures of Jupiter and Saturn — but also in the hopes that maybe, somewhere beyond our solar system, aliens might spot the craft and wonder “Who the heck made those?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should that happen, each craft holds a copy of a golden record that included, among other things, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-greetings-to-the\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">human greetings\u003c/a> recorded in more than 50 languages, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-sounds-of\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sounds peculiar to Earth\u003c/a>, and a selection of greatest musical hits as selected by a team of scientists led by astronomer, astrophysicist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Sagan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now a California-based team has launched a \u003ca href=\"https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ozmarecords/voyager-golden-record-40th-anniversary-edition\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kickstarter campaign\u003c/a> to produce a vinyl version in time for the 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches in late August next year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Pescovitz, co-editor and managing partner of the tech news website \u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boing Boing\u003c/a>, and a research director at the nonprofit \u003ca title=\"Website for Institute for the Future.\" href=\"http://www.iftf.org/\">Institute for the Future\u003c/a> is leading the effort\u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">.\u003c/a> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pescovitz says “In a time when we spend so much of our lives in mediated experiences, we wanted to create something beautiful and tangible that embodies the spirit and magic of the original golden record that right now is 13 billion miles away from this planet. With the other one right on its tail.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The hard work was done in the 1970s\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The original records are gold-plated copper disks, packaged inside aluminum cases, designed to survive for a billion years. Just a dozen copies were made, and even fewer are available for public perusal at places like the Smithsonian’s \u003ca href=\"https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/voyager-spacecraft-mock-full-scale\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Air and Space Museum\u003c/a> in Washington and the \u003ca href=\"http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/goldenrec.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jet Propulsion Laboratory\u003c/a> in Pasadena.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100596\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth - minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-960x541.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth – minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Lawrence Azerrad/LADesign)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>How do you decide what to put on an album for the consumption of an unknown life form? Dr. Sagan, who\u003ca title=\"Carl Sagan obituary\" href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/1996/12/21/us/carl-sagan-an-astronomer-who-excelled-at-popularizing-science-is-dead-at-62.html\"> died in 1996\u003c/a>, called it a “bottle cast into the cosmic ocean.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had a lot of help, including from the creative director of the project, Ann Druyan, who later \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2010/02/12/123534818/carl-sagan-and-ann-druyans-ultimate-mix-tape\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">married Sagan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Sagan and his associates assembled 115 images as well as about 90 minutes of music, ranging from Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry, to selections like a 2,500-year-old Chinese folk song called “Flowing Stream.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Sagan wrote a book about the Golden Record, called \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Murmurs-Earth-Voyager-Interstellar-Record/dp/0345315367\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Murmurs of Earth\u003c/a>, which is considered definitive. But a complete copy of the compilation you can hold in your grubby hands has not been issued since a CD-ROM in 1992 by Warner News Media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">[contextly_sidebar id=”o1lqIXGYjYFAGeaaa0T3M6ayFrwr7iB7″]”This was intended as a gift from humanity to the cosmos,” Pescovitz says. “But it’s also a gift to humanity: a reminder of what we can do when we are at our best. That reminder is perhaps more necessary and relevant today than it was even then.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Collecting the music and photography rights constitutes the biggest challenge. Pescovitz teamed up with Timothy Daly, a manager at Amoeba Music in San Francisco, and \u003ca href=\"http://laddesign.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lawrence Azerrad\u003c/a>, a graphic designer who has created packaging for Miles Davis, The Beach Boys, Wilco and others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“This was one of the more utopian endeavors of humanity,” says Azerrad, noting the golden record left out the ugly bits of human experience, like war and famine. That may have something to do with the record’s enduring appeal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“In a lot of ways, it embodies a type of thinking much harder to find in today’s world. We’ve kind of lost that aspiration to look at who we are as a human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100598\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg\" alt=\"Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project.\" width=\"800\" height=\"479\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-400x239.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-768x460.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut.jpg 942w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Jon Lomberg)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003cstrong>Golden Record Take Two\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Pescovitz and company aren’t the only ones inspired by the upcoming 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Jon Lomberg, the design director for the original project, is spearheading another, this one to be crowd-sourced. Called \u003ca href=\"http://oneearthmessage.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">One Earth\u003c/a>, the idea is to transmit the message to \u003ca href=\"http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Horizons\u003c/a>, another NASA spacecraft headed out of the solar system. “The whole world has changed so much since the 1970s,” Lomberg says. Why not put out something that reflects the ways we have changed since then?\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"title": "Carl Sagan's Intergalactic Mix Tape Could be Reissued on Vinyl | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Somewhere out there, billions and billions of miles from Earth, two Voyager spacecraft are hurtling towards the back of beyond at a rate of more than 35,000 miles per hour. They were sent into outer space in 1977 to take pictures of Jupiter and Saturn — but also in the hopes that maybe, somewhere beyond our solar system, aliens might spot the craft and wonder “Who the heck made those?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should that happen, each craft holds a copy of a golden record that included, among other things, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-greetings-to-the\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">human greetings\u003c/a> recorded in more than 50 languages, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-sounds-of\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sounds peculiar to Earth\u003c/a>, and a selection of greatest musical hits as selected by a team of scientists led by astronomer, astrophysicist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Sagan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now a California-based team has launched a \u003ca href=\"https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ozmarecords/voyager-golden-record-40th-anniversary-edition\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kickstarter campaign\u003c/a> to produce a vinyl version in time for the 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches in late August next year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Pescovitz, co-editor and managing partner of the tech news website \u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boing Boing\u003c/a>, and a research director at the nonprofit \u003ca title=\"Website for Institute for the Future.\" href=\"http://www.iftf.org/\">Institute for the Future\u003c/a> is leading the effort\u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">.\u003c/a> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pescovitz says “In a time when we spend so much of our lives in mediated experiences, we wanted to create something beautiful and tangible that embodies the spirit and magic of the original golden record that right now is 13 billion miles away from this planet. With the other one right on its tail.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The hard work was done in the 1970s\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The original records are gold-plated copper disks, packaged inside aluminum cases, designed to survive for a billion years. Just a dozen copies were made, and even fewer are available for public perusal at places like the Smithsonian’s \u003ca href=\"https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/voyager-spacecraft-mock-full-scale\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Air and Space Museum\u003c/a> in Washington and the \u003ca href=\"http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/goldenrec.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jet Propulsion Laboratory\u003c/a> in Pasadena.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100596\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth - minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-960x541.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth – minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Lawrence Azerrad/LADesign)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>How do you decide what to put on an album for the consumption of an unknown life form? Dr. Sagan, who\u003ca title=\"Carl Sagan obituary\" href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/1996/12/21/us/carl-sagan-an-astronomer-who-excelled-at-popularizing-science-is-dead-at-62.html\"> died in 1996\u003c/a>, called it a “bottle cast into the cosmic ocean.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had a lot of help, including from the creative director of the project, Ann Druyan, who later \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2010/02/12/123534818/carl-sagan-and-ann-druyans-ultimate-mix-tape\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">married Sagan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Sagan and his associates assembled 115 images as well as about 90 minutes of music, ranging from Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry, to selections like a 2,500-year-old Chinese folk song called “Flowing Stream.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Sagan wrote a book about the Golden Record, called \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Murmurs-Earth-Voyager-Interstellar-Record/dp/0345315367\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Murmurs of Earth\u003c/a>, which is considered definitive. But a complete copy of the compilation you can hold in your grubby hands has not been issued since a CD-ROM in 1992 by Warner News Media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>”This was intended as a gift from humanity to the cosmos,” Pescovitz says. “But it’s also a gift to humanity: a reminder of what we can do when we are at our best. That reminder is perhaps more necessary and relevant today than it was even then.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Collecting the music and photography rights constitutes the biggest challenge. Pescovitz teamed up with Timothy Daly, a manager at Amoeba Music in San Francisco, and \u003ca href=\"http://laddesign.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lawrence Azerrad\u003c/a>, a graphic designer who has created packaging for Miles Davis, The Beach Boys, Wilco and others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“This was one of the more utopian endeavors of humanity,” says Azerrad, noting the golden record left out the ugly bits of human experience, like war and famine. That may have something to do with the record’s enduring appeal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“In a lot of ways, it embodies a type of thinking much harder to find in today’s world. We’ve kind of lost that aspiration to look at who we are as a human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100598\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg\" alt=\"Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project.\" width=\"800\" height=\"479\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-400x239.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-768x460.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut.jpg 942w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Jon Lomberg)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003cstrong>Golden Record Take Two\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Pescovitz and company aren’t the only ones inspired by the upcoming 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Jon Lomberg, the design director for the original project, is spearheading another, this one to be crowd-sourced. Called \u003ca href=\"http://oneearthmessage.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">One Earth\u003c/a>, the idea is to transmit the message to \u003ca href=\"http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Horizons\u003c/a>, another NASA spacecraft headed out of the solar system. “The whole world has changed so much since the 1970s,” Lomberg says. Why not put out something that reflects the ways we have changed since then?\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>We get to the bottom of the crazes. Also, why are people in SF paying $1,800 to sleep in a bunk bed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/09/LaCroixx.mp3\" title=\"Why Is Everyone So Obsessed with LaCroix and Mercury in Retrograde?\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>What's up with LaCroix's sudden popularity? I dig up the answer:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-38111 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"la croix gif\" width=\"1080\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carly takes \u003ca href=\"http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/suntzu384112.html\">Sun Tzu's \"Know your enemy\" advice\u003c/a> to heart and goes deep into the Mercury in retrograde phenomenon:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37120\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\" alt=\"taylor swift retrograde\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jamedra has good news for all you fellow anxious people out there:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37119\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\" alt=\"raven\" width=\"267\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We share scary tales of bunk beds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\" alt=\"step-brothers-bunk-beds-o\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I fawn over this fan fawning over Taylor Swift:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/TSwiftNZ/status/775510775007891456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with Flume's \"Never Be Like You\":\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KPnyf8vwXI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/dear-listeners-of-the-cooler-please-take-our-cute-little-survey/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>What's up with LaCroix's sudden popularity? I dig up the answer:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-38111 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"la croix gif\" width=\"1080\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carly takes \u003ca href=\"http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/suntzu384112.html\">Sun Tzu's \"Know your enemy\" advice\u003c/a> to heart and goes deep into the Mercury in retrograde phenomenon:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37120\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\" alt=\"taylor swift retrograde\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jamedra has good news for all you fellow anxious people out there:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37119\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\" alt=\"raven\" width=\"267\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We share scary tales of bunk beds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\" alt=\"step-brothers-bunk-beds-o\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I fawn over this fan fawning over Taylor Swift:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with Flume's \"Never Be Like You\":\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/-KPnyf8vwXI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/-KPnyf8vwXI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Sometimes the world can feel a bit uniform: the same department stores in every shopping mall, the same fast food chains on every corner. The website \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Atlas Obscura\u003c/a> will make you reconsider that sense of monotony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is still this huge, bizarre, vast place filled with astounding stuff,” says co-founder Dylan Thuras. “And if you sort of tilt your view a little bit and start looking for it, you start finding it everywhere.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras’ new book, also called \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em>, is a guide to the world’s hidden wonders — like a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/vent-haven-museum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ventriloquist dummy museum in Kentucky\u003c/a> or a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-gates-of-hell\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">230-foot-wide hole in Turkmenistan\u003c/a> that’s been on fire for 40 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That’s an amazing place,” Thuras says. “And it’s kind of one of these places that when you find out it exists, you’re a little bit surprised you didn’t know it existed before.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you don’t have go all the way to Turkmenistan to see these places; Thuras says there’s plenty of wonder in your own backyard. To prove it, he took NPR on a tour of the wonders in \u003cem>his\u003c/em> backyard: Manhattan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras starts his tour on the 6 train. “Basically, you stay on the 6 train after its last stop [Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall],” he says. “You’re able to look out the subway car windows and see the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/city-hall-station-mro\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">City Hall station\u003c/a>, which is one of the most beautiful subway stations ever created. It’s been shuttered since 1945, but it is this immaculate space. It’s this little piece of lost New York grandeur.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. (For the best view, \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em> recommends sitting in the 7th, 8th or 9th car.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next stop is an artwork by Walter De Maria. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-new-york-earth-room\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Earth Room\u003c/a>, “which is what it sounds like,” Thuras says: “It is 280,000 pounds of dirt that has been sitting in a room in a SoHo loft.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12096239\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-800x532.jpg\" alt=\"Manhattan's long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12096239\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Manhattan’s long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. \u003ccite>(Photo: Julian Dunn/Flickr)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A little sign outside instructs visitors to buzz in and walk up to the second floor. There, they’ll find a loft in which the entire floor is covered in “rich, nicely groomed-looking dirt,” as Thuras describes it. Somebody has raked and misted the dirt every week since De Maria created the work in 1977. “It’s got the real smell of a forest floor,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spanish tourist Juan Carlos Fernandez’s visit coincided with NPR’s. He says he’s wanted to visit the Earth Room since 1986, “but for different reasons every time we were here in the city, we couldn’t.” Was it worth the 30-year wait? Fernandez says yes. “I am so thrilled right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Earth Room, it’s time for lunch at the kind of restaurant Atlas Obscura loves. “We are going to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/el-sabroso\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">El Sabroso\u003c/a>, which is a small South American lunch counter in a freight elevator entrance,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The restaurant is in Midtown in a sort of loading dock. Behind the counter, a cook tends to eight pots bubbling on a small stove. Seating consists of a long folding table with plastic chairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras says, “In a way, there’s a history here because Midtown has always been home to garment workers and people, you know, who were kind of working on a tighter budget, and that’s still true today. So there’s a few remaining … old school lunch counters where you can get a great meal for like $6. … And it’s killer. It’s like super killer.” (He’s not kidding. It was the best $6 lunch this reporter has had in a long time.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras is the kind of traveler who will pack every minute of a day with experiences. After lunch, he leads NPR to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/toynbee-tiles-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mysterious tiles embedded in the roadway\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/gimbel-s-bridge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a shuttered art deco skywalk\u003c/a> that is completely sealed off to the world and the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-conjuring-arts-research-center\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Conjuring Arts Research Center\u003c/a>, one of the world’s largest collections of books about magic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last stop on his tour is an easily overlooked wonder in the middle of Times Square. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-times-square-hum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Times Square Hum\u003c/a> and it comes from under a metal grate on a pedestrian island. (You can hear it for yourself in the audio story above.) An artist named Max Neuhaus created it almost 40 years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s this kind of sonic secret, just tucked away,” Thuras says. “Almost nobody stops and says, ‘What is that strange noise?’ ” Because, of course, the Hum is surrounded by noise: car horns, street performers, crowds, squeaking brakes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For me, it sort of serves as this wonderful reminder that in the middle of all this madness — in what I think most people would find the most commercial, least sort of whimsical or magical place in Manhattan — is this kind of little gem waiting for you if you’re willing to sort of slow down, look around, listen and kind of start asking questions.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Does he ever worry about Atlas Obscura running out of wonders to write about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We asked ourselves this question at the start,” Thuras says, “and so far the answer seems to be: It is infinite.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Atlas+Obscura%27+Tour+Of+Manhattan+Finds+Hidden+Wonders+In+A+Well-Trodden+Place&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Sometimes the world can feel a bit uniform: the same department stores in every shopping mall, the same fast food chains on every corner. The website \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Atlas Obscura\u003c/a> will make you reconsider that sense of monotony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is still this huge, bizarre, vast place filled with astounding stuff,” says co-founder Dylan Thuras. “And if you sort of tilt your view a little bit and start looking for it, you start finding it everywhere.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras’ new book, also called \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em>, is a guide to the world’s hidden wonders — like a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/vent-haven-museum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ventriloquist dummy museum in Kentucky\u003c/a> or a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-gates-of-hell\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">230-foot-wide hole in Turkmenistan\u003c/a> that’s been on fire for 40 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That’s an amazing place,” Thuras says. “And it’s kind of one of these places that when you find out it exists, you’re a little bit surprised you didn’t know it existed before.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you don’t have go all the way to Turkmenistan to see these places; Thuras says there’s plenty of wonder in your own backyard. To prove it, he took NPR on a tour of the wonders in \u003cem>his\u003c/em> backyard: Manhattan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras starts his tour on the 6 train. “Basically, you stay on the 6 train after its last stop [Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall],” he says. “You’re able to look out the subway car windows and see the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/city-hall-station-mro\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">City Hall station\u003c/a>, which is one of the most beautiful subway stations ever created. It’s been shuttered since 1945, but it is this immaculate space. It’s this little piece of lost New York grandeur.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. (For the best view, \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em> recommends sitting in the 7th, 8th or 9th car.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next stop is an artwork by Walter De Maria. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-new-york-earth-room\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Earth Room\u003c/a>, “which is what it sounds like,” Thuras says: “It is 280,000 pounds of dirt that has been sitting in a room in a SoHo loft.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12096239\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-800x532.jpg\" alt=\"Manhattan's long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12096239\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Manhattan’s long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. \u003ccite>(Photo: Julian Dunn/Flickr)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A little sign outside instructs visitors to buzz in and walk up to the second floor. There, they’ll find a loft in which the entire floor is covered in “rich, nicely groomed-looking dirt,” as Thuras describes it. Somebody has raked and misted the dirt every week since De Maria created the work in 1977. “It’s got the real smell of a forest floor,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spanish tourist Juan Carlos Fernandez’s visit coincided with NPR’s. He says he’s wanted to visit the Earth Room since 1986, “but for different reasons every time we were here in the city, we couldn’t.” Was it worth the 30-year wait? Fernandez says yes. “I am so thrilled right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Earth Room, it’s time for lunch at the kind of restaurant Atlas Obscura loves. “We are going to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/el-sabroso\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">El Sabroso\u003c/a>, which is a small South American lunch counter in a freight elevator entrance,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The restaurant is in Midtown in a sort of loading dock. Behind the counter, a cook tends to eight pots bubbling on a small stove. Seating consists of a long folding table with plastic chairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras says, “In a way, there’s a history here because Midtown has always been home to garment workers and people, you know, who were kind of working on a tighter budget, and that’s still true today. So there’s a few remaining … old school lunch counters where you can get a great meal for like $6. … And it’s killer. It’s like super killer.” (He’s not kidding. It was the best $6 lunch this reporter has had in a long time.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras is the kind of traveler who will pack every minute of a day with experiences. After lunch, he leads NPR to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/toynbee-tiles-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mysterious tiles embedded in the roadway\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/gimbel-s-bridge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a shuttered art deco skywalk\u003c/a> that is completely sealed off to the world and the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-conjuring-arts-research-center\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Conjuring Arts Research Center\u003c/a>, one of the world’s largest collections of books about magic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last stop on his tour is an easily overlooked wonder in the middle of Times Square. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-times-square-hum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Times Square Hum\u003c/a> and it comes from under a metal grate on a pedestrian island. (You can hear it for yourself in the audio story above.) An artist named Max Neuhaus created it almost 40 years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s this kind of sonic secret, just tucked away,” Thuras says. “Almost nobody stops and says, ‘What is that strange noise?’ ” Because, of course, the Hum is surrounded by noise: car horns, street performers, crowds, squeaking brakes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For me, it sort of serves as this wonderful reminder that in the middle of all this madness — in what I think most people would find the most commercial, least sort of whimsical or magical place in Manhattan — is this kind of little gem waiting for you if you’re willing to sort of slow down, look around, listen and kind of start asking questions.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Does he ever worry about Atlas Obscura running out of wonders to write about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We asked ourselves this question at the start,” Thuras says, “and so far the answer seems to be: It is infinite.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Atlas+Obscura%27+Tour+Of+Manhattan+Finds+Hidden+Wonders+In+A+Well-Trodden+Place&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "A Comics Convention for the Unconventional: The Small Press Expo",
"headTitle": "A Comics Convention for the Unconventional: The Small Press Expo | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Additional reporting by LA Johnson.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve attended the Small Press Expo, or SPX, for 10 years now. This year, I convinced NPR to let me take a reporting kit and interview attendees about what drew them to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(You can check out more photos, illustrations and interviews with creators from the 2016 Small Press Expo on the \u003ca href=\"http://nprillustration.tumblr.com/\">NPR Illustrations Tumblr\u003c/a> over the coming days and weeks.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In theory, SPX seems a lot like many of the other comic-cons that have been popping up across the country over the last few years. There’s the vast exhibit floor, there’s a packed schedule of panels and spotlights featuring interviews of, and discussions between, various comics creators. People mill about, lugging bags loaded down with stuff they’ve bought, or find an empty patch of carpeted hallway on which to plop themselves and rest while perusing their purchases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you close your eyes, its sounds a lot like any other con: the low, steady murmur of voices punctuated by the occasional exclamation of delight or surprise from someone who’s stumbling across an old friend — or a new passion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the moment you open your eyes, you’re reminded that SPX isn’t like most other cons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s smaller, for one thing — the big shows in San Diego and New York attract upwards of 130,000 people, and SPX’s attendance is closer to 3,000. It fills the huge ballroom at a hotel in North Bethesda, Maryland, but unlike other comic-cons, where companies build massive booths that tower over you with video screens, loudly hawking all manner of comics-adjacent stuff like toys, games, statues and t-shirts, everything at SPX is at eye-level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hip-level, technically, as it’s just rows and rows of folding tables piled with comics and artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095859\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095859\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-400x265.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-768x508.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-1180x781.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-960x636.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Funkier, Smaller, More Approachable\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just a way to sell comics or buy comics,” said Whit Taylor, from New York City. “It’s also a social event … a chance to catch up with people, and meet new people both during the show and after the show and that’s kind of the most meaningful part to me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whit came not just to buy comics, but to connect with the people who make them. And SPX is built around making exactly that happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a convention for independent comics. People define “indie comics” differently, but for our purposes: not Marvel, and not DC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I like that it kinda sticks to just comics,” Whit said. “That’s how it started out. I know that shows can kinda go in different directions. I’m happy to see merch here and there, but I like that it’s just about independent artists or small presses.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some small presses \u003cem>do\u003c/em> set up tables at the Small Press Expo, fittingly enough — publishers like Drawn and Quarterly and Fantagraphics are SPX staples — but mostly, it’s men and women sitting or standing behind the tables, grinning earnestly at passersby to get them to stop and sample their work. That work could be a handsomely bound graphic novel, a print, or, in many cases, a mini-comic that they’ve drawn and copied and stapled together themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Elizabeth drove up from Williamsburg, Virginia, and she appreciated that many of these comics are made without the usual gatekeepers — which affects who gets to make them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I really like about this one so far is that there’s a lot more queer comics,” she said, “a lot more comics by women here, specifically women of color, that’s what stuck out to me the most.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Liz Hathaway from Philadelphia came to support the creators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s independent comics, you know I give a lot of credit to a lot of these artists because they really believe in what they’re doing,” she said. “They have a passion for it, they’re spending a lot of their own money and resources to promote themselves so they must believe in themselves, and I like that independent, alternative type of comic.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Liz is also here for a more practical reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m trying to get a feel of how they promote themselves,” she said. “I have a comic called \u003cem>The Hellwood Kids\u003c/em>, and it’s coming out next year, so I’m trying to get a feel of, you know. How they lay out everything and they show their comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Con About The Craft of Comics-Making\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turned out that Liz, and Whit Taylor, and 18 out of the 25 people I approached at random last weekend, make comics themselves. (Three of those 25 turned out to be NPR interns — make of that what you will.) That’s something else that sets this con apart, and has since it began in 1994.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Well it was started by a bunch of local DC people who basically revolted against the mainstream superhero conventions,” said Warren Bernard, Executive Director of SPX. “They were like, why can’t we independent comics people get together with self-published people … and they had their first con over in Silver Spring back in 1994.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason it grew to its current size, he said, is that today, “Many more people are activated by comics that aren’t superheroes — now that’s not taking anything away from superhero comics, I happen to like reading them — but there’s this other universe that’s everything but. And that’s what SPX is all about: everything but superheroes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the people who come to SPX each year are not looking to score big Hollywood development deals. They’re driven by a different ethos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think that’s part of what keeps SPX a little bit separate is that, you know, people are here for the art and the craft,” he said. “Whether you’re an attendee coming in and wanting to do stuff yourself, or you’re a creator that’s hanging out with all the other creators or just an attendee that kind of enjoys it, that is the thing that ties everyone together is the art and the craft, kinda combined.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095860\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095860\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-768x511.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-1180x786.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-960x639.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Stepping Stone to Wider Success\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which is not to say that big development deals don’t happen. Cartoon Network, Disney and Nickelodeon send people to SPX every year to scout for talent. Rebecca Sugar, who created the TV show \u003cem>Steven Universe\u003c/em>, put in her time behind a table at SPX. So did Lisa Hanawalt, whose distinctive character designs can now be seen on the Netflix series \u003cem>Bojack Horseman\u003c/em>. Raina Telgemeier sold her mini-comics here, back in the day, as did many other creators who’ve gone on to huge commercial success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several established indie comics creators said they love coming back to SPX, for various reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Honestly [we come to SPX] because it’s part of the world that we live in, and that we came up in, and it’s cool to see all these people doing what they want to do instead of what they have to do for money,” said Jaime Hernandez, half of Los Bros Hernandez, the team behind the venerable, and venerated, alt-series \u003cem>Love and Rockets\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I have really liked about SPX is it’s a comics festival which is more or less only about the things that I like about comics,” said Tom Gauld, creator of deadpan comics marvels \u003cem>You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Mooncop\u003c/em>. “It’s not about movies of comics, it’s not about toys related to comics, it’s not about superhero comics, it’s more or less about whatever you call the thing that I do. It’s the kind of indie comics literary comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SPX isn’t \u003cem>completely\u003c/em> unlike other cons — you’ll likely leave having dropped a healthy chunk of change on books and art. But people like Bailey Kung, who started coming to SPX as a volunteer and is now a member of the executive board, leave with something else as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s definitely inspiring to be here,” she told me, “everyone is making such awesome work, it does make me want to go home and draw something.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Comics+Convention+For+The+Unconventional%3A+The+Small+Press+Expo+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Additional reporting by LA Johnson.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve attended the Small Press Expo, or SPX, for 10 years now. This year, I convinced NPR to let me take a reporting kit and interview attendees about what drew them to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(You can check out more photos, illustrations and interviews with creators from the 2016 Small Press Expo on the \u003ca href=\"http://nprillustration.tumblr.com/\">NPR Illustrations Tumblr\u003c/a> over the coming days and weeks.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In theory, SPX seems a lot like many of the other comic-cons that have been popping up across the country over the last few years. There’s the vast exhibit floor, there’s a packed schedule of panels and spotlights featuring interviews of, and discussions between, various comics creators. People mill about, lugging bags loaded down with stuff they’ve bought, or find an empty patch of carpeted hallway on which to plop themselves and rest while perusing their purchases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you close your eyes, its sounds a lot like any other con: the low, steady murmur of voices punctuated by the occasional exclamation of delight or surprise from someone who’s stumbling across an old friend — or a new passion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the moment you open your eyes, you’re reminded that SPX isn’t like most other cons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s smaller, for one thing — the big shows in San Diego and New York attract upwards of 130,000 people, and SPX’s attendance is closer to 3,000. It fills the huge ballroom at a hotel in North Bethesda, Maryland, but unlike other comic-cons, where companies build massive booths that tower over you with video screens, loudly hawking all manner of comics-adjacent stuff like toys, games, statues and t-shirts, everything at SPX is at eye-level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hip-level, technically, as it’s just rows and rows of folding tables piled with comics and artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095859\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095859\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-400x265.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-768x508.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-1180x781.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-960x636.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Funkier, Smaller, More Approachable\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just a way to sell comics or buy comics,” said Whit Taylor, from New York City. “It’s also a social event … a chance to catch up with people, and meet new people both during the show and after the show and that’s kind of the most meaningful part to me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whit came not just to buy comics, but to connect with the people who make them. And SPX is built around making exactly that happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a convention for independent comics. People define “indie comics” differently, but for our purposes: not Marvel, and not DC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I like that it kinda sticks to just comics,” Whit said. “That’s how it started out. I know that shows can kinda go in different directions. I’m happy to see merch here and there, but I like that it’s just about independent artists or small presses.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some small presses \u003cem>do\u003c/em> set up tables at the Small Press Expo, fittingly enough — publishers like Drawn and Quarterly and Fantagraphics are SPX staples — but mostly, it’s men and women sitting or standing behind the tables, grinning earnestly at passersby to get them to stop and sample their work. That work could be a handsomely bound graphic novel, a print, or, in many cases, a mini-comic that they’ve drawn and copied and stapled together themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Elizabeth drove up from Williamsburg, Virginia, and she appreciated that many of these comics are made without the usual gatekeepers — which affects who gets to make them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I really like about this one so far is that there’s a lot more queer comics,” she said, “a lot more comics by women here, specifically women of color, that’s what stuck out to me the most.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Liz Hathaway from Philadelphia came to support the creators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s independent comics, you know I give a lot of credit to a lot of these artists because they really believe in what they’re doing,” she said. “They have a passion for it, they’re spending a lot of their own money and resources to promote themselves so they must believe in themselves, and I like that independent, alternative type of comic.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Liz is also here for a more practical reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m trying to get a feel of how they promote themselves,” she said. “I have a comic called \u003cem>The Hellwood Kids\u003c/em>, and it’s coming out next year, so I’m trying to get a feel of, you know. How they lay out everything and they show their comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Con About The Craft of Comics-Making\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turned out that Liz, and Whit Taylor, and 18 out of the 25 people I approached at random last weekend, make comics themselves. (Three of those 25 turned out to be NPR interns — make of that what you will.) That’s something else that sets this con apart, and has since it began in 1994.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Well it was started by a bunch of local DC people who basically revolted against the mainstream superhero conventions,” said Warren Bernard, Executive Director of SPX. “They were like, why can’t we independent comics people get together with self-published people … and they had their first con over in Silver Spring back in 1994.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason it grew to its current size, he said, is that today, “Many more people are activated by comics that aren’t superheroes — now that’s not taking anything away from superhero comics, I happen to like reading them — but there’s this other universe that’s everything but. And that’s what SPX is all about: everything but superheroes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the people who come to SPX each year are not looking to score big Hollywood development deals. They’re driven by a different ethos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think that’s part of what keeps SPX a little bit separate is that, you know, people are here for the art and the craft,” he said. “Whether you’re an attendee coming in and wanting to do stuff yourself, or you’re a creator that’s hanging out with all the other creators or just an attendee that kind of enjoys it, that is the thing that ties everyone together is the art and the craft, kinda combined.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095860\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095860\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-768x511.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-1180x786.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-960x639.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Stepping Stone to Wider Success\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which is not to say that big development deals don’t happen. Cartoon Network, Disney and Nickelodeon send people to SPX every year to scout for talent. Rebecca Sugar, who created the TV show \u003cem>Steven Universe\u003c/em>, put in her time behind a table at SPX. So did Lisa Hanawalt, whose distinctive character designs can now be seen on the Netflix series \u003cem>Bojack Horseman\u003c/em>. Raina Telgemeier sold her mini-comics here, back in the day, as did many other creators who’ve gone on to huge commercial success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several established indie comics creators said they love coming back to SPX, for various reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Honestly [we come to SPX] because it’s part of the world that we live in, and that we came up in, and it’s cool to see all these people doing what they want to do instead of what they have to do for money,” said Jaime Hernandez, half of Los Bros Hernandez, the team behind the venerable, and venerated, alt-series \u003cem>Love and Rockets\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I have really liked about SPX is it’s a comics festival which is more or less only about the things that I like about comics,” said Tom Gauld, creator of deadpan comics marvels \u003cem>You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Mooncop\u003c/em>. “It’s not about movies of comics, it’s not about toys related to comics, it’s not about superhero comics, it’s more or less about whatever you call the thing that I do. It’s the kind of indie comics literary comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SPX isn’t \u003cem>completely\u003c/em> unlike other cons — you’ll likely leave having dropped a healthy chunk of change on books and art. But people like Bailey Kung, who started coming to SPX as a volunteer and is now a member of the executive board, leave with something else as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s definitely inspiring to be here,” she told me, “everyone is making such awesome work, it does make me want to go home and draw something.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Comics+Convention+For+The+Unconventional%3A+The+Small+Press+Expo+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, fragile masculinity led to several guns going off, but who cares about all that 'cause Ross went skinny dipping! Will Ross realize that, instead of reopening the mine, he could make more money by converting it into a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices? Will Verity end up joining the village prostitute's #squad, since everyone already thinks she's a woman of the night? Will Pinky Ring's baby end up looking like Ross because that's how penetrating his gaze is? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's opening day for Ross' mine and the whole town shows up for a hootenanny (actually, there's no music; I just really wanted to use the word hootenanny). Ross has hired everyone within a 15 mile radius because, like I said last episode, he really gets off on job creation. Ross does not use a huge pair of scissors to cut a red ribbon, which is a missed opportunity, if you ask me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some old dudes watch Demelza pour Ross some wine from the sidelines and wonder if the rumors of them getting it on are true. Both agree Ross would be a fool if they weren't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a hill, Ross' uncle and wimpy cousin try to decide if they're still mad at Ross. Uncle decides nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"He saved your life! Time for you to demonstrate it wasn't wasted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"preach gif\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait. It appears as though I was a bit too hasty with the Encouraging Preach Hand™. Uncle didn't mean that Backstabber Cousin should help Ross. He instead wants him to make sure Ross' mine doesn't do better than theirs. They ride off without attending the hootenanny because why stop being a-holes when they've been so good at it for two full episodes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is reading a book because there wasn't really much else for a woman to do in those days. She suffers a pain in her pregnant belly. As someone who is still not over Sybil's death from preeclampsia on \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, this is very triggering for me. #HaremPantsForever\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza breaks up a physical fight between the Pigpens because they've been drinking rum. Mrs. Pigpen fakes a sprained wrist so Demelza will have to do all the chores. If Verity ever finds that matriarchal society, I hope she invites Demelza to come with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, there is concern over some boy named Jim. You see, he's been poaching, which is illegal, and he also found time to knock someone up. Ross is so good at helping people by this point that he hires both the boy and his baby mama to fix up an old shed that they will then live in, then arranges for Jim to ask this girl's father for her hand and plans their wedding, all within the span of two minutes. You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce... and Ross Poldark. Do something with your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza is nervous about her first foray into cooking. She serves Ross some sort of savory pie that she glazed and everything. Ross takes his time masticating and making the this-sponge-is-a-bit-too-moist face, just like that rude bald judge on \u003cem>The Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"So Mrs. Pigpen's recovery will take some time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"About a month or so, sir.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have it delayed as long as possible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36648 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 2\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 3\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's Den of Sorrow, she's hanging out with Pinky Ring, needle-pointing (zzzz). I can't see what Verity is working on, but it's most likely fancy lettering spelling out: \u003cem>I'm going to die a virgin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is like \u003cem>I wish you would get over your almost husband. Being super dramatic about boys is kind of my thing.\u003c/em> Verity considers decking her, but right then Pinky Ring has another weird pregnancy pain so the brawl must wait.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Jim's wedding is already happening (I told you Ross works quickly). Everyone's having such a good time that no one pauses long enough to be like, \u003cem>Ew, Jim married a literal child.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36657\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png\" alt=\"poldark wedding\" width=\"800\" height=\"439\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-400x219.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-768x421.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1440x790.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1180x647.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-960x526.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHE'S THE TINY, SAD, PREGNANT ONE IN BLUE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, a priest is lecturing Ross about how he should give up his fornicating ways for a proper marriage. Ross is probably thinking, \u003cem>Someone just married a 10 year old and you're worried about me having sex with consenting adult women?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches Mr. Holier Than Thou and watches Demelza and other poor people do the 18th century version of twerking. It looks fun so he joins in and looks at Demelza in a way that suggest they'll be fornicating pre-marriage very, very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Pinky Ring primly pushes a human being out of her body. It's a boy so everyone is pleased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"The line continues! Well done, my boy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, thank Pinky Ring. She did the work.\" (OMG, is Backstabber Cousin a feminist?!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doctor:\u003c/strong> \"Ah, women.\" (Nothing good can follow this phrase). \"They make a song and dance about it, but if things are properly managed...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36665\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\" alt=\"beyonce mad\" width=\"592\" height=\"334\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross finds a letter announcing the arrival of his ex's baby. He secretly wishes he had let Backstabber Cousin bleed out after that duel in his backyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, there's a fancy let's-all-get-drunk-and-touch-the-new-baby-with-our-germy-hands cocktail hour. Ross shows up, ready to put a hex on the rugrat à la Maleficent. Everyone gawks and imagines how much cuter the baby would have been with Ross' genetics. Such a shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy pops up with his miserable uncle to say rude things about poor people and Ross' mine. Pinky Ring's mother slides in with her own classist BS. Ross deals with these people expertly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"chappelle show diss gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross walks over to Pinky Ring and Backstabber Cousin to get the whole pretending-to-be-happy-for-them thing over with. Backstabber Cousin, the least perceptive person on the planet, is like, \u003cem>HOLD THE BABY I MADE WITH YOUR EX! ISN'T THIS FUN?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring takes it a step further and tells Ross she wishes he could be the child's godfather instead of Malfoy. I wish Demelza was here so she could serve up another one of her \"Girl, are you serious?\" looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy whisper some sweet nothing into Backstabber Cousin's ear and B.C. goes from unaware dope to jealous homicidal psycho in less than 2 seconds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png\" alt=\"francis poldark psycho\" width=\"800\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-400x222.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-768x425.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1440x798.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1180x654.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-960x532.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stare at him staring, while listening to this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who is he kidding? If he couldn't kill a random middle-aged captain, there's no way he's taking down Ross Adonis Poldark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle gives a speech all about how this new baby named after him proves that his lineage is thriving and will continue forevermore... and then has a heart attack. The old lady with the tarot cards doesn't even need to bring them out to say this isn't a great omen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As that harlot Verity selflessly tends to her father, Backstabber Cousin just stands there, still doing that staring like a murderous maniac thing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png\" alt=\"francis poldark sucks\" width=\"800\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1440x795.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1180x652.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way home, Ross overhears the thirsty girl from the ball, her mother, and Pinky Ring's mother all gossiping about how he's probably sleeping with the help. When he storms past them, thirsty girl's mom yells after him: \"Ross Poldark is no gentleman!\" This is not the way you treat a war hero! This is also not the way you persuade a war hero to marry your rude daughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring puts her cursed baby to bed and is about to enjoy some precious me time, when Backstabber Cousin comes in and insists on dry-humping her. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Dude, I literally just had a baby, can we not?\u003c/em>, which evokes a man child tantrum about how he's sure she wishes their baby belonged to Ross. Okay, I can get down with a glacier-paced love triangle (see: my high school obsession with the WB show \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/felicity/\">\u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), but this is getting out-of-hand and frankly boring. I hope \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> has more to offer than this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin storms out of the bedroom and finds another woman to bully, this time it's Hester Prynne! Uh, I mean Verity. He accuses her of trying to eavesdrop at his keyhole, taking Ross' side and knowing diddly squat about how marriage is actually \"misery.\" In essence, he tells her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37767\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\" alt=\"you're a virgin who can't drive clueless tai gif\" width=\"496\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity rightly thinks that's way harsh, especially 'cause he's the reason she has yet to find out how miserable marriage is. She looks at the sea captain's painted portrait hidden in a locket. He's still creepy looking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jim's child bride complains to Demelza about how her husband is still poaching and gonna get himself locked up. And she can't count on supporting herself with a check from MTV's \u003cem>Teen Mom\u003c/em> because the channel and the show haven't been invented yet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Uncle tells Backstabber Cousin he needs to start working. Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>Work? Me? But I don't know how to do anything! \u003c/em>Uncle insists so Backstabber Cousin heads to his mine and tries making small chat with the workers... while seated on his horse, wearing a top hat. The poor people spend their day's allowance of side eye on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross gives Demelza a stellar employee review. She always anticipates his needs and works the fields like no one else. Demelza almost brings up that it's unfair that she makes 79 cents to Mr. Pigpen's dollar, but instead brings up Jim's poaching. Ross responds the only way he knows how: \u003cem>I'll hire him to do something else for me! That should solve it! \u003c/em>Suze Orman thinks it's a very bad idea to hire hundreds of people when you are already bankrupt, but alas, she won't be around to tell Ross that for another couple of centuries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Child Bride shows up to cry in Demelza's face. You see, Jim went poaching again and his stupid chronic cough got him caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into a phone booth, twirls around a bunch and comes out Super(AdvocateForPoorFolk)Man! Off the caped crusader rides to convince the rich person whose pheasants Jim was trying to steal to drop the charges. But he's too late! Jim is already set for trial! And the rich dude hopes they hang him! Ross returns home to tell Demelza and says, \u003cem>Ugh, rich people are the worst!!!\u003c/em> Demelza responds, \u003cem>I know, right?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes to pick up Child Bride to attend the trial, but she's in labor because her life doesn't suck enough right now. Ross enters the court and asks a different rich dude if Jim's bad lungs might preclude a prison sentence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Rich dude:\u003c/strong> \"No good will come of being sentimental of such folk. They're a different breed! A different breed!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37954\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"how dare you mindy kaling gif\" width=\"160\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Homeboy said it twice, in case the first time wasn't infuriating enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross takes the stand to combine his good looks with a rendition of Jim's sob story in order to emancipate good ol' Jim. The old bewigged dudes are not buying any of it. He's too sick to go to prison, but he's not too sick to run around stealing pheasants and knocking up tweens? This is not going well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things aren't going that much better in a field near chez Ross. Demelza's dad and his black teeth are back again. This time, he's wearing a nice suit because he got married and started believing in god! Unlike Jesus, he's not very understanding or compassionate and goes right into accusing Demelza of giving into the Temptation of the Flesh (Ross' flesh, that is) and being touched by the Devil. Demelza defends herself with a statement that could easily be taken the wrong way: \"He's my master and I'm his servant!\" #50Shades, anyone? Demelza's dad says he'll be back tomorrow to fetch her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at court, the judges announce they've decided to take Ross' testimony and cute face into account. They will grant young Jim some leniency. Before Ross has the chance to flip his hair in triumph, the judges proclaim: TWO YEARS IMPRISONMENT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37891\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\" alt=\"phoebe friends shock gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jim immediately starts coughing. You couldn't have done a little more of that during deliberation? It's too late now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sees red and decides to go all the way off. His rant is basically this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af7Jctuqhcg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to the pub to get alcohol poisoning. It isn't long before the prostitute shows up, but Ross declines this time. On his way out, he sees her mounting someone else... IT'S BACKSTABBER COUSIN!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37892\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"mr bean shocked gif\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> Poldark, you say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> Not \u003cem>a\u003c/em> Poldark. \u003cem>THE\u003c/em> Poldark!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> What other Poldark is there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> *aroused, erotic sigh*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is totally the guy who gently weeps, while having sex. He's also the type of guy who ends up dying mid coitus. We can only hope...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the ranch, Demelza is bummed she has to leave Ross and all his cool things. She says goodbye to each one and then pauses when she finds a beautiful gown hidden in a chest. She tries it on because how else is Ross going to find her in it and freak out?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on schedule, Ross comes home and starts screaming for Demelza. His back is turned so maybe she can get away with serving him without being spotted? Ross rants about poor imprisoned Jim and the terrible state of the justice system, while Demelza tries to tiptoe out. But of course he sees her at the last moment. What ensues is essentially the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> scene in which the Beast freaks the F out on Belle for touching his stuff:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJZuQl5hT2U\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually he calms down enough to rub her face and kind of sort of apologize and... MAKE OUT WITH HER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\" alt=\"full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers\" width=\"447\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately blames herself because that's what the patriarchy has taught her to do and Ross yells at her to go to bed because that's what the patriarchy has taught him to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Demelza knocks on his bedroom door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\" alt=\"raw (3)\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asks him to unlace her corset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37904\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif\" alt=\"raw (5)\" width=\"244\" height=\"246\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif 244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 244px) 100vw, 244px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does so while breathing very heavily on her neck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37906\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-4.gif\" alt=\"raw (4)\" width=\"498\" height=\"322\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He mentions how everyone gossips about them getting it on and how they would be proving those a-holes right. \"Then let it be true,\" she responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37903\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-6.gif\" alt=\"raw (6)\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they proceed to have crazy sex all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\" alt=\"officehappygasp\" width=\"320\" height=\"175\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wow. \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> is out-doing \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> with all these twists and turns! Even super boring plot points like whether to merge hospitals or whatever took \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> seven entire episodes to settle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza creeps out of bed and we get a lingering shot of Ross without his shirt on because the producers care about straight women and gay men demographics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, it's revealed that Backstabber Cousin did not come home last night. Oooooohhh boy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross grumpily uses a scythe without his shirt on. The infamous scene that set Twitter alight and got people interested in the show in the first place! It's finally happening! And, again, because the producers know who's watching, they revel in the moment by utilizing slow motion. Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is hiding in the field nearby, watching his sweat-glistened body work the field, smiles to herself and thinks, \u003cem>I tapped that.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because every party has a pooper, Pinky Ring approaches in the distance. UGH. CAN WE NOT?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross puts on his shirt and returns home to see what she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37916\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"5166520_15-reasons-why--poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b\" width=\"736\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she wants what she always wants: to complain about her marriage. You made your choice, girl. Now scram so Ross can get back to the fields!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza accidentally barges in and is crushed. She offers Pinky Ring flowers because what else do you do in this kind of awkward situation? Pinky Ring doesn't want them. \"They're fading already. Corn flowers are like that.\" This is 18th century speak for \"You're basic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring finally decides to go home (yayyy!) and Ross sees her out. Crushed, Demelza runs off with her cute, shy puppy. Ross chases her down and asks why she's running off. He's nice to look at, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza explains that, after last night, she can no longer be his servant. Ross agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to a chapel. AND WTF OMG THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37905\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene! Drop mic! What just happened?! Ahh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> I'm going to leave this section word-for-word from last week because it all still applies:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Thanks for the shirtless chores, but go easy on the blind rages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>The Prostitute: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She's an entrepreneur with good business acumen. Get them coins, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's good of her to keep taking care of her a-hole dad who ruined her chance at marriage just last episode. Hang in there. It gets better... in a couple of centuries... kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She managed to lose her virginity to Ross and marry him over the course of two days. Props.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, fragile masculinity led to several guns going off, but who cares about all that 'cause Ross went skinny dipping! Will Ross realize that, instead of reopening the mine, he could make more money by converting it into a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices? Will Verity end up joining the village prostitute's #squad, since everyone already thinks she's a woman of the night? Will Pinky Ring's baby end up looking like Ross because that's how penetrating his gaze is? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's opening day for Ross' mine and the whole town shows up for a hootenanny (actually, there's no music; I just really wanted to use the word hootenanny). Ross has hired everyone within a 15 mile radius because, like I said last episode, he really gets off on job creation. Ross does not use a huge pair of scissors to cut a red ribbon, which is a missed opportunity, if you ask me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some old dudes watch Demelza pour Ross some wine from the sidelines and wonder if the rumors of them getting it on are true. Both agree Ross would be a fool if they weren't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a hill, Ross' uncle and wimpy cousin try to decide if they're still mad at Ross. Uncle decides nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"He saved your life! Time for you to demonstrate it wasn't wasted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"preach gif\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait. It appears as though I was a bit too hasty with the Encouraging Preach Hand™. Uncle didn't mean that Backstabber Cousin should help Ross. He instead wants him to make sure Ross' mine doesn't do better than theirs. They ride off without attending the hootenanny because why stop being a-holes when they've been so good at it for two full episodes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is reading a book because there wasn't really much else for a woman to do in those days. She suffers a pain in her pregnant belly. As someone who is still not over Sybil's death from preeclampsia on \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, this is very triggering for me. #HaremPantsForever\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza breaks up a physical fight between the Pigpens because they've been drinking rum. Mrs. Pigpen fakes a sprained wrist so Demelza will have to do all the chores. If Verity ever finds that matriarchal society, I hope she invites Demelza to come with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, there is concern over some boy named Jim. You see, he's been poaching, which is illegal, and he also found time to knock someone up. Ross is so good at helping people by this point that he hires both the boy and his baby mama to fix up an old shed that they will then live in, then arranges for Jim to ask this girl's father for her hand and plans their wedding, all within the span of two minutes. You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce... and Ross Poldark. Do something with your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza is nervous about her first foray into cooking. She serves Ross some sort of savory pie that she glazed and everything. Ross takes his time masticating and making the this-sponge-is-a-bit-too-moist face, just like that rude bald judge on \u003cem>The Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"So Mrs. Pigpen's recovery will take some time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"About a month or so, sir.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have it delayed as long as possible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36648 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 2\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 3\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's Den of Sorrow, she's hanging out with Pinky Ring, needle-pointing (zzzz). I can't see what Verity is working on, but it's most likely fancy lettering spelling out: \u003cem>I'm going to die a virgin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is like \u003cem>I wish you would get over your almost husband. Being super dramatic about boys is kind of my thing.\u003c/em> Verity considers decking her, but right then Pinky Ring has another weird pregnancy pain so the brawl must wait.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Jim's wedding is already happening (I told you Ross works quickly). Everyone's having such a good time that no one pauses long enough to be like, \u003cem>Ew, Jim married a literal child.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36657\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png\" alt=\"poldark wedding\" width=\"800\" height=\"439\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-400x219.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-768x421.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1440x790.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1180x647.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-960x526.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHE'S THE TINY, SAD, PREGNANT ONE IN BLUE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, a priest is lecturing Ross about how he should give up his fornicating ways for a proper marriage. Ross is probably thinking, \u003cem>Someone just married a 10 year old and you're worried about me having sex with consenting adult women?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches Mr. Holier Than Thou and watches Demelza and other poor people do the 18th century version of twerking. It looks fun so he joins in and looks at Demelza in a way that suggest they'll be fornicating pre-marriage very, very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Pinky Ring primly pushes a human being out of her body. It's a boy so everyone is pleased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"The line continues! Well done, my boy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, thank Pinky Ring. She did the work.\" (OMG, is Backstabber Cousin a feminist?!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doctor:\u003c/strong> \"Ah, women.\" (Nothing good can follow this phrase). \"They make a song and dance about it, but if things are properly managed...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36665\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\" alt=\"beyonce mad\" width=\"592\" height=\"334\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross finds a letter announcing the arrival of his ex's baby. He secretly wishes he had let Backstabber Cousin bleed out after that duel in his backyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, there's a fancy let's-all-get-drunk-and-touch-the-new-baby-with-our-germy-hands cocktail hour. Ross shows up, ready to put a hex on the rugrat à la Maleficent. Everyone gawks and imagines how much cuter the baby would have been with Ross' genetics. Such a shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy pops up with his miserable uncle to say rude things about poor people and Ross' mine. Pinky Ring's mother slides in with her own classist BS. Ross deals with these people expertly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"chappelle show diss gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross walks over to Pinky Ring and Backstabber Cousin to get the whole pretending-to-be-happy-for-them thing over with. Backstabber Cousin, the least perceptive person on the planet, is like, \u003cem>HOLD THE BABY I MADE WITH YOUR EX! ISN'T THIS FUN?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring takes it a step further and tells Ross she wishes he could be the child's godfather instead of Malfoy. I wish Demelza was here so she could serve up another one of her \"Girl, are you serious?\" looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy whisper some sweet nothing into Backstabber Cousin's ear and B.C. goes from unaware dope to jealous homicidal psycho in less than 2 seconds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png\" alt=\"francis poldark psycho\" width=\"800\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-400x222.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-768x425.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1440x798.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1180x654.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-960x532.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stare at him staring, while listening to this:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>But who is he kidding? If he couldn't kill a random middle-aged captain, there's no way he's taking down Ross Adonis Poldark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle gives a speech all about how this new baby named after him proves that his lineage is thriving and will continue forevermore... and then has a heart attack. The old lady with the tarot cards doesn't even need to bring them out to say this isn't a great omen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As that harlot Verity selflessly tends to her father, Backstabber Cousin just stands there, still doing that staring like a murderous maniac thing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png\" alt=\"francis poldark sucks\" width=\"800\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1440x795.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1180x652.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>On his way home, Ross overhears the thirsty girl from the ball, her mother, and Pinky Ring's mother all gossiping about how he's probably sleeping with the help. When he storms past them, thirsty girl's mom yells after him: \"Ross Poldark is no gentleman!\" This is not the way you treat a war hero! This is also not the way you persuade a war hero to marry your rude daughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring puts her cursed baby to bed and is about to enjoy some precious me time, when Backstabber Cousin comes in and insists on dry-humping her. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Dude, I literally just had a baby, can we not?\u003c/em>, which evokes a man child tantrum about how he's sure she wishes their baby belonged to Ross. Okay, I can get down with a glacier-paced love triangle (see: my high school obsession with the WB show \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/felicity/\">\u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), but this is getting out-of-hand and frankly boring. I hope \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> has more to offer than this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin storms out of the bedroom and finds another woman to bully, this time it's Hester Prynne! Uh, I mean Verity. He accuses her of trying to eavesdrop at his keyhole, taking Ross' side and knowing diddly squat about how marriage is actually \"misery.\" In essence, he tells her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37767\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\" alt=\"you're a virgin who can't drive clueless tai gif\" width=\"496\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity rightly thinks that's way harsh, especially 'cause he's the reason she has yet to find out how miserable marriage is. She looks at the sea captain's painted portrait hidden in a locket. He's still creepy looking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jim's child bride complains to Demelza about how her husband is still poaching and gonna get himself locked up. And she can't count on supporting herself with a check from MTV's \u003cem>Teen Mom\u003c/em> because the channel and the show haven't been invented yet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Uncle tells Backstabber Cousin he needs to start working. Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>Work? Me? But I don't know how to do anything! \u003c/em>Uncle insists so Backstabber Cousin heads to his mine and tries making small chat with the workers... while seated on his horse, wearing a top hat. The poor people spend their day's allowance of side eye on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross gives Demelza a stellar employee review. She always anticipates his needs and works the fields like no one else. Demelza almost brings up that it's unfair that she makes 79 cents to Mr. Pigpen's dollar, but instead brings up Jim's poaching. Ross responds the only way he knows how: \u003cem>I'll hire him to do something else for me! That should solve it! \u003c/em>Suze Orman thinks it's a very bad idea to hire hundreds of people when you are already bankrupt, but alas, she won't be around to tell Ross that for another couple of centuries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Child Bride shows up to cry in Demelza's face. You see, Jim went poaching again and his stupid chronic cough got him caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into a phone booth, twirls around a bunch and comes out Super(AdvocateForPoorFolk)Man! Off the caped crusader rides to convince the rich person whose pheasants Jim was trying to steal to drop the charges. But he's too late! Jim is already set for trial! And the rich dude hopes they hang him! Ross returns home to tell Demelza and says, \u003cem>Ugh, rich people are the worst!!!\u003c/em> Demelza responds, \u003cem>I know, right?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes to pick up Child Bride to attend the trial, but she's in labor because her life doesn't suck enough right now. Ross enters the court and asks a different rich dude if Jim's bad lungs might preclude a prison sentence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Rich dude:\u003c/strong> \"No good will come of being sentimental of such folk. They're a different breed! A different breed!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37954\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"how dare you mindy kaling gif\" width=\"160\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Homeboy said it twice, in case the first time wasn't infuriating enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross takes the stand to combine his good looks with a rendition of Jim's sob story in order to emancipate good ol' Jim. The old bewigged dudes are not buying any of it. He's too sick to go to prison, but he's not too sick to run around stealing pheasants and knocking up tweens? This is not going well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things aren't going that much better in a field near chez Ross. Demelza's dad and his black teeth are back again. This time, he's wearing a nice suit because he got married and started believing in god! Unlike Jesus, he's not very understanding or compassionate and goes right into accusing Demelza of giving into the Temptation of the Flesh (Ross' flesh, that is) and being touched by the Devil. Demelza defends herself with a statement that could easily be taken the wrong way: \"He's my master and I'm his servant!\" #50Shades, anyone? Demelza's dad says he'll be back tomorrow to fetch her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at court, the judges announce they've decided to take Ross' testimony and cute face into account. They will grant young Jim some leniency. Before Ross has the chance to flip his hair in triumph, the judges proclaim: TWO YEARS IMPRISONMENT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37891\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\" alt=\"phoebe friends shock gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jim immediately starts coughing. You couldn't have done a little more of that during deliberation? It's too late now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sees red and decides to go all the way off. His rant is basically this:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/af7Jctuqhcg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/af7Jctuqhcg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Ross heads to the pub to get alcohol poisoning. It isn't long before the prostitute shows up, but Ross declines this time. On his way out, he sees her mounting someone else... IT'S BACKSTABBER COUSIN!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37892\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"mr bean shocked gif\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> Poldark, you say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> Not \u003cem>a\u003c/em> Poldark. \u003cem>THE\u003c/em> Poldark!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> What other Poldark is there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> *aroused, erotic sigh*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is totally the guy who gently weeps, while having sex. He's also the type of guy who ends up dying mid coitus. We can only hope...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the ranch, Demelza is bummed she has to leave Ross and all his cool things. She says goodbye to each one and then pauses when she finds a beautiful gown hidden in a chest. She tries it on because how else is Ross going to find her in it and freak out?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on schedule, Ross comes home and starts screaming for Demelza. His back is turned so maybe she can get away with serving him without being spotted? Ross rants about poor imprisoned Jim and the terrible state of the justice system, while Demelza tries to tiptoe out. But of course he sees her at the last moment. What ensues is essentially the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> scene in which the Beast freaks the F out on Belle for touching his stuff:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/hJZuQl5hT2U'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/hJZuQl5hT2U'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Eventually he calms down enough to rub her face and kind of sort of apologize and... MAKE OUT WITH HER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\" alt=\"full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers\" width=\"447\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately blames herself because that's what the patriarchy has taught her to do and Ross yells at her to go to bed because that's what the patriarchy has taught him to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Demelza knocks on his bedroom door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\" alt=\"raw (3)\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asks him to unlace her corset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37904\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif\" alt=\"raw (5)\" width=\"244\" height=\"246\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif 244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 244px) 100vw, 244px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does so while breathing very heavily on her neck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37906\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-4.gif\" alt=\"raw (4)\" width=\"498\" height=\"322\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He mentions how everyone gossips about them getting it on and how they would be proving those a-holes right. \"Then let it be true,\" she responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37903\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-6.gif\" alt=\"raw (6)\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they proceed to have crazy sex all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\" alt=\"officehappygasp\" width=\"320\" height=\"175\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wow. \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> is out-doing \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> with all these twists and turns! Even super boring plot points like whether to merge hospitals or whatever took \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> seven entire episodes to settle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza creeps out of bed and we get a lingering shot of Ross without his shirt on because the producers care about straight women and gay men demographics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, it's revealed that Backstabber Cousin did not come home last night. Oooooohhh boy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross grumpily uses a scythe without his shirt on. The infamous scene that set Twitter alight and got people interested in the show in the first place! It's finally happening! And, again, because the producers know who's watching, they revel in the moment by utilizing slow motion. Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is hiding in the field nearby, watching his sweat-glistened body work the field, smiles to herself and thinks, \u003cem>I tapped that.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because every party has a pooper, Pinky Ring approaches in the distance. UGH. CAN WE NOT?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross puts on his shirt and returns home to see what she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37916\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"5166520_15-reasons-why--poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b\" width=\"736\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she wants what she always wants: to complain about her marriage. You made your choice, girl. Now scram so Ross can get back to the fields!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza accidentally barges in and is crushed. She offers Pinky Ring flowers because what else do you do in this kind of awkward situation? Pinky Ring doesn't want them. \"They're fading already. Corn flowers are like that.\" This is 18th century speak for \"You're basic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring finally decides to go home (yayyy!) and Ross sees her out. Crushed, Demelza runs off with her cute, shy puppy. Ross chases her down and asks why she's running off. He's nice to look at, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza explains that, after last night, she can no longer be his servant. Ross agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to a chapel. AND WTF OMG THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37905\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene! Drop mic! What just happened?! Ahh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> I'm going to leave this section word-for-word from last week because it all still applies:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Thanks for the shirtless chores, but go easy on the blind rages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>The Prostitute: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She's an entrepreneur with good business acumen. Get them coins, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's good of her to keep taking care of her a-hole dad who ruined her chance at marriage just last episode. Hang in there. It gets better... in a couple of centuries... kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She managed to lose her virginity to Ross and marry him over the course of two days. Props.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Only Way to Process Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Divorce",
"title": "The Only Way to Process Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Divorce",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sunshine poured through my bedroom window this morning and woke me up. I smiled. Another glorious day. Then I reached for my phone and saw I had 9 unread text messages. \u003cem>This can't be good\u003c/em>, I thought. All of them said the same thing: BRANGELINA IS DUNZO. LOVE IS DEAD! followed by all the exasperated, depressed, sweating emojis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Love is a lie. The era of celebrity couple portmanteaus is over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is only one way to process all of this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Click play on the song below and listen as you slowly scroll down through happier times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozKsQnRHb-c\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37855\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-2763-1428517696-11.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-2763-1428517696-11\" width=\"245\" height=\"176\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37852\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/cb873e20-6eb0-0133-4d6d-0e3f8b958f63.gif\" alt=\"cb873e20-6eb0-0133-4d6d-0e3f8b958f63\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37856\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/d4beae20-af12-0132-4544-0ebc4eccb42f.gif\" alt=\"d4beae20-af12-0132-4544-0ebc4eccb42f\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37857\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_lf5egyAG5B1qc6tgvo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lf5egyAG5B1qc6tgvo1_500\" width=\"425\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37850\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolies-new-movie-together-will-be-called-by-the-sea.gif\" alt=\"brad-pitt-and-angelina-jolies-new-movie-together-will-be-called-by-the-sea\" width=\"450\" height=\"253\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37853\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/bradandangiearemarriedwhoot814.gif\" alt=\"bradandangiearemarriedwhoot814\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37859\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-possibly-making-movie-together.gif\" alt=\"angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-possibly-making-movie-together\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37858\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-wedding-gift-ernest-hemingway-typewriter.gif\" alt=\"angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-wedding-gift-ernest-hemingway-typewriter\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37843\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37851\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273.gif\" alt=\"cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\"> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\">\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37862\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\" alt=\"giphy (7)\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37865\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m22eufGtzl1r7drv2o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m22eufGtzl1r7drv2o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37860\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/stare2-1418913402.gif\" alt=\"stare2-1418913402\" width=\"500\" height=\"228\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37864\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"198\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37861\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\" alt=\"EMGNBestCryingScenes1\" width=\"466\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For more thoughts and feelings on the dissolution of Brangelina, listen to this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" 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"excerpt": "Love is a lie.",
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"title": "The Only Way to Process Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Divorce | KQED",
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"slug": "the-only-way-to-process-angelina-jolie-and-brad-pitts-divorce",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sunshine poured through my bedroom window this morning and woke me up. I smiled. Another glorious day. Then I reached for my phone and saw I had 9 unread text messages. \u003cem>This can't be good\u003c/em>, I thought. All of them said the same thing: BRANGELINA IS DUNZO. LOVE IS DEAD! followed by all the exasperated, depressed, sweating emojis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Love is a lie. The era of celebrity couple portmanteaus is over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is only one way to process all of this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Click play on the song below and listen as you slowly scroll down through happier times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, Ross returned from the war alive and everyone felt very inconvenienced. Will the deplorable behavior from basically everyone in Cornwall be explained by the fact that the region is built directly over the Hellmouth? Will Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen finally take a much-needed shower? Will Ross finally take off his shirt? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The camera lingers on inanimate objects -- a lantern, a rope, a straw hat, a bell, as Mr. Pigpen waxes poetic: \"Mining, 'tis in the blood! Eat, sleep, live and breathe it. She's your salvation and downfall.\" Elsewhere, some fancy red coats nail a \"Notice of Closure\" sign on a mine entrance. I really think we 21st century dwellers should get back into the habit of nailing dramatic proclamations on people's doors. It's not like we're using that hammer we got from IKEA for anything else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the mine workers show up and are like, \u003cem>Um, how dare you\u003c/em>. A guy wearing eyeliner, who might be hotter than Ross, responds by assaulting one of the workers. A very uncool move, but did I mention he might be hotter than Ross? Take a look for yourself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36391\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"poldark evil hottie\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1440x801.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, some old dude gets dressed, dabs cologne on his neck and puts on his cutest wig, while people bang on his door, yelling about what's going down at the mine. Old dude then picks up a gun and shoots himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed5Bh_DbHPU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza is screaming while washing her hair at the outdoor spigot. She yells up to Ross' window that she really hates being clean and then storms off, but not before expertly recreating this iconic redhead-with-wet-hair moment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross' evil former classmate George, who is basically Malfoy from \u003cem>Harry Potter\u003c/em>, is worried that the random old dude's suicide will reflect poorly on him. You see, Malfoy and his uncle declined to extend the recently departed's loans, leading to the closing of the mine and all the rest. Malfoy's uncle asks, \"Are we in the business of sentiment or profit?\" and then blasts Rihanna's \"Bitch Betta Have My Money.\" Point taken.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this moment, a woman with dyed hair (so she must be a prostitute) emerges because this is her jam, but also because she wants to know if she is excused or if she has to have sex with Malfoy again. He impolitely tells her to be more polite by calling him Sir from now on and sure, he'll take another roll in the hay, thanks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross', the worker who was knocked out by hot eyeliner guy is telling Ross all about the closing of the mine and how his mother and sisters will starve, if he doesn't get another gig soon. Ross agrees to employ him because hiring randoms, despite not having any money whatsoever, has kind of become his \"thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads over to his uncle's house and Pinky Ring is, of course, in the window staring down at him as he approaches. Get a life, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Verity (a.k.a. Daisy: The Prequel) is super jazzed that Ross has arrived 'cause everyone she lives with is so awful. Ross announces that he's not moving to London and returns his uncle's money. He misses a great opportunity to do this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about the suicide and Ross shares that he thinks it's worrisome that almost everyone has loans through Malfoy and his Slytherin relative. Ross' uncle is not worried because Malfoy is Backstabber Cousin's best friend, which makes a lot of sense. Ross invites Verity over (maybe he plans to hire her too?), but his uncle quickly shuts down their hangout. She apparently needs to stay home to pour his cream and wipe his butt. #JusticeforVerity!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross leaves, Pinky Ring is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> creepily watching from the window. Take up crocheting or scrapbooking, something! She sits down to think about how maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to hook up with her ex's cousin. The aphorism goes: Think of the boring Devil and he shall appear. Backstabber Cousin enters and Pinky Ring tries to avoid him by saying that she's tired and plans to lie down. He asks, \"Can I join you?\", creepily molests her braid and then basically does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\" alt=\"creepy gross kiss gif\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, the miners who beat up all those bros last episode find Ross and ask him if he can hire them too. Ross still has zero dollars, but says \u003cem>Probably!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to his father's abandoned mine to see if there's anything salvageable to be had there. Backstabber Cousin shows up because the writers of this show never want me to have a moment's peace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Father says you intend to remain.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Does that disappoint you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36410\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\" alt=\"snap latrice gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross says he feels bad about all the unemployed miners. Backstabber Cousin is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7HJH0IH3dc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross suggests the possibility of reopening the mine together. Job creation clearly gets him off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a backyard across town, Pinky Ring is collecting eggs. Verity is scandalized! Only dowdy girls who are 25 and over are supposed to do menial chores! Pretty girls are meant to spend their days gazing out of windows at the men they wish they were still sleeping with. Everybody knows that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross tells his banker that he wants to reopen the mine. His banker's response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQSsrvsszcs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy's prostitute comes onto Ross at the pub (wouldn't you?). A banker laughing in your face is kind of a boner killer though so he passes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back home (so much commuting in Cornwall!), Ross runs into Verity, who has a favor to ask: will he escort her to a ball? She wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is asking the same favor of Pinky Ring: \"My dear, tonight's assembly, will you not reconsider? You know how I love to show off my wife to the world!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36464\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\" alt=\"jennifer lawrence disgusted gif\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The party \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lit\">is lit\u003c/a>. No, I mean literally. Candles everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the women are fanning themselves and looking at Poldark. Verity warns him that he could have one of these girls naked by the end of this song.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another room, a bunch of old snobs are tut-tutting about the miners. Why do commoners have to be so \u003cem>loud\u003c/em> about their rights? Backstabber Cousin brings up the #AllMenAreCreatedEqual hashtag that is sweeping America. Everyone laughs and says it won't be trending for much longer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are taking advantage of Demelza, making her wash their clothes and the floors and give them pillows for their backs and feet. Is there any chance Demelza will develop telekinesis soon and exact revenge on these two, her bro-y family, Ross' uncle, etc? A boy can dream...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house party, Malfoy follows Ross around saying rude things that initially sound like pleasantries, and Ross says veiled rude things in return with a smile because they're British and this is how rivalries work over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the ballroom, Verity is thinking about how she's going to be a virgin forever and ever, until she's interrupted by a sea captain! Verity says all the ship-related words she knows: sails and masts. You go, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere on the dance floor, the girl from episode one, who talked sh*t about the Poldarks while Ross was asleep in the coach on his way home, shows up and pukes boring small talk all over Ross. His name is no, his sign is no, his number is no; you need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Demelza sneaks into Ross' room and touches all his stuff. She sits at the piano and dreams of being a proto-Tori Amos. She already has a lot of experiences to pull from: the lice, the dog fight, the hot employer. This could work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the rave, things are heating up between Verity and the captain. He is teaching her new boat words, some of which are downright salacious, like \"spanker boom,\" which is \u003ca href=\"http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Spanker+boom\">apparently a real thing\u003c/a>. Then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Captain:\u003c/strong> \"I'd really like us to be better acquainted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Me too. ...I should not have said that! What must you think of me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36471\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"i'm a slut wiig gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is sneaking back out of his room when Mr. Pigpen catches her and tells her she should go back to her bro-family and that she'll never amount to anything. Where's that telekinesis when a girl needs it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fiesta, Ross is cornered by coach girl, who wants to dance. His name is still no, his sign is still no, his number is still no, you still need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He ditches her and approaches Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring 'cause dealing with them always ends well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Have you come to take my wife off my hands?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36472\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\" alt=\"edward scissorhands nodding gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They engage in a fancy do-si-do and everyone is scandalized. Except for Backstabber Cousin who is all derp derp derp, until Malfoy gets in his ear and warns him that he's about to get cuckolded in a major way. He looks at his wife and her ex and is finally like, \u003cem>Ohhh yeahhhh, they are soul mates and I'm just... here.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is kicking wine back and laughing really loudly with Ross. Verity runs over to say, \u003cem>Um, hi, I might have said something slutty before, but this is way worse! You might as well have dyed hair! Go dance with your husband!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Verity gets back to her new admirer, the Captain gets fresher by the minute. He wants to meet Verity's father to ask for her hand. Wow. Turns out all you gotta do to bag a husband is let him mansplain boats to you. Spanker boom boom room, here they come! But wait, he must tell her a deep, dark secret before things go any further... Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross storms out of the party and runs to the inn to find the prostitute. His name is yes, his sign is yes, his number is yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another night of spooning, Demelza and her cute, shy puppy are picking flowers along the cliffs. Demelza spots Ross on his horse trot of shame. He strips naked and goes skinny dipping in the chilly sea (his 18th century spin on the cold shower). He even gets in on this action:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\" alt=\"poldark skinny dip gif\" width=\"643\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza likes what she sees. (For all the pervs out there, this happens around the 30:15 mark; you're very welcome.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that morning, Demelza has to serve Ross like she hasn't seen his twig and berries. It's hard. (The task of pretending, I mean. Not sure about the other thing.) And she'll have to pretend all day long because Ross invites her to come into town with him. He tells her to get her cloak. She's like, \u003cem>Um, I'm poor, remember? I'm already wearing everything I own.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get to town, they split up to run errands. Ross immediately runs into Pinky Ring because duh. He helps her carry some fabric because they're uneducated so textbooks weren't an option. Malfoy lurks in the background, spying, because this town is apparently the size of a studio apartment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets up with Backstabber Cousin, who is supposed to help pitch the idea of reopening the mine to a bunch of moneyed men. But, oops, Malfoy has been talking smack in his ear and Backstabber Cousin announces he no longer wants to go. Ross does not have time for this and is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\" alt=\"nene ok girl bye gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Ross basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36481\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\" alt=\"GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, like Kim, he's pretty so all the men are like, \u003cem>Take our money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To celebrate his nonsensical victory, Ross buys Demelza her very first bad ass cape and she walks down the street past a bunch of judgmental jerks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"kathie lee cape gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin and his dad can not believe what went down at the ball. How could a woman of a certain station act like such a whore in front of everyone?? Pinky Ring eavesdrops from the adjoining room and slut shames herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, there's a knock at the door. The Pigpens are nowhere to be found (typical) so Demelza has to answer it and it's Pinky Ring, the floozy who dared to square dance with a man that isn't her husband. The horror!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like in the last episode, Demelza gives Pinky Ring a withering \"Girl, are you serious?\" look:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png\" alt=\"demelza poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring has come to cry in Ross' face about what she overheard. The family knows about their sizzling hot sexual chemistry! The jig is up! Ross is jazzed and is moments away from trying to make out with her, when Mr. Pigpen waltzes in for the c*ckblock. It's a scene snatched from every dorm room in America. Roommates are the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to his uncle's place to formally announce that he's stealing Pinky Ring back. When he arrives, his uncle, his cousin and the tarot-reading old lady are all distraught... over what a loose woman \u003cem>Verity\u003c/em> has become. *record scratch*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olympic conclusion jumper Pinky Ring sits in the corner like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\" alt=\"oops real housewives gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plan is to keep Verity locked up so she doesn't have sex with the captain, who allegedly likes a cocktail every now and then and also maybe sorta beat his wife to death. Verity is a \"plain girl\" and they need to save her from her urge to get with the only man who's ever hit on her. Ross agrees to help and somehow manages not to hire any new employees. Progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, as Ross is leaving, Verity pops up, but oddly isn't wearing her scarlet letter (the embroiderer must still be working on it). She says that her family is lying. The captain barely pushed his wife, who then did technically die, but it was sort of an accident and, despite not knowing his star sign or favorite color, she just \u003cem>knows\u003c/em> that he would never ever hurt her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Verity and her man hanging out at Ross' house because he loves helping people (if hiring them isn't a possibility).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross handles some heavy bales of hay with his shirt completely on, a worker notices the tops of parasols over the fence. It's the thirsty girl from the ball and her mom. Why would she bring her mother, you ask? Because who else is going to just come out and say: \"One only has to taste her syllabubs to know they are succulent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\" alt=\"family feud shocked scandalized gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you don't watch \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>, syllabubs are a whipped cream dessert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36597\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\" alt=\"katy perry whipped cream bikini gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\" alt=\"whipped cream bikini varsity gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, Ross is not hungry. He tells them NEVER GONNA HAPPEN and walks away (in the politest, British way possible of course).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the house, the captain is telling Verity about his multiple children. Run, Verity! 25 might be too old to be desirable by 18th century standards, but 25 is too young to be a stepmom to a bunch of kids who will hate you no matter what because you're not their dead mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, storm clouds are gathering, which, according to the rules of obvious TV tropes, means that sh*t is about to go down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As expected, Backstabber Cousin and his dad crash Verity's super sexy I'll-sit-way-over-here-on-this-bench-while-you-teach-me-boring-boat-terms-from-way-over-there hangout. Backstabber Cousin challenges the Captain to an epithet-hurling contest. Backstabber Cousin volleys a \"Filthy skunk!\", but it's no match for the Captain's spike of \"Insolent puppy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is Backstabber Cousin to do now, after two long episodes of his masculinity being trampled all over? GUN FIGHT, that's what!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross could easily stop this madness from happening, but opts for this approach instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36599\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\" alt=\"romy michele gif popcorn\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity tries to put an end to the insanity, but is knocked down by her brother, proving that this has nothing to do with caring about her and everything to do with people thinking he does in fact have testicles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The men take their paces, turn and shoot. Who's dead?? Is it both? Let it be both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope. Francis got shot in the neck and the Captain is unhurt, minus the pain of how awkward this now is for him. \u003cem>Oops, murdered your brother. Wanna honeymoon in Maui?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes Backstabber Cousin's dying body into the house and saves his life, a fact that doesn't stop Pinky Ring from yelling at him nor his uncle from blaming Ross for everything and calling him a disgrace. With friends like these...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the coup de grace: Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Thanks for saving that twerp's life because I forgot to tell you: I'm pregnant with a baby that's definitely not yours, k thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin: \u003c/strong>It was a tight race for Worst Person Ever this week, but B.C. eked out a win for several reasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirtsy Girl's Mom: \u003c/strong>She's shameless and kind of gross, but both take nerve so hat's off to her for pimping out her daughter so brazenly centuries before \u003cem>Toddlers and Tiaras\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>He heard the world's call for him to take off his shirt and, because he loves to help people, took off all his clothes and even got wet. A true humanitarian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> She deserves better than being born in an age where everyone hates women this much. I hope she finds a time machine or a hidden matriarchal society soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Her self-care regiment is truly inspirational:\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After a long week of hard work, it's only right to reward oneself with some me time and a skinny dip peep show feat. Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This episode begins with a gun going off, ends with a gun going off, but more importantly involves our hero going skinny dipping.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, Ross returned from the war alive and everyone felt very inconvenienced. Will the deplorable behavior from basically everyone in Cornwall be explained by the fact that the region is built directly over the Hellmouth? Will Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen finally take a much-needed shower? Will Ross finally take off his shirt? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The camera lingers on inanimate objects -- a lantern, a rope, a straw hat, a bell, as Mr. Pigpen waxes poetic: \"Mining, 'tis in the blood! Eat, sleep, live and breathe it. She's your salvation and downfall.\" Elsewhere, some fancy red coats nail a \"Notice of Closure\" sign on a mine entrance. I really think we 21st century dwellers should get back into the habit of nailing dramatic proclamations on people's doors. It's not like we're using that hammer we got from IKEA for anything else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the mine workers show up and are like, \u003cem>Um, how dare you\u003c/em>. A guy wearing eyeliner, who might be hotter than Ross, responds by assaulting one of the workers. A very uncool move, but did I mention he might be hotter than Ross? Take a look for yourself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36391\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"poldark evil hottie\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1440x801.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, some old dude gets dressed, dabs cologne on his neck and puts on his cutest wig, while people bang on his door, yelling about what's going down at the mine. Old dude then picks up a gun and shoots himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Ed5Bh_DbHPU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Ed5Bh_DbHPU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza is screaming while washing her hair at the outdoor spigot. She yells up to Ross' window that she really hates being clean and then storms off, but not before expertly recreating this iconic redhead-with-wet-hair moment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross' evil former classmate George, who is basically Malfoy from \u003cem>Harry Potter\u003c/em>, is worried that the random old dude's suicide will reflect poorly on him. You see, Malfoy and his uncle declined to extend the recently departed's loans, leading to the closing of the mine and all the rest. Malfoy's uncle asks, \"Are we in the business of sentiment or profit?\" and then blasts Rihanna's \"Bitch Betta Have My Money.\" Point taken.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this moment, a woman with dyed hair (so she must be a prostitute) emerges because this is her jam, but also because she wants to know if she is excused or if she has to have sex with Malfoy again. He impolitely tells her to be more polite by calling him Sir from now on and sure, he'll take another roll in the hay, thanks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross', the worker who was knocked out by hot eyeliner guy is telling Ross all about the closing of the mine and how his mother and sisters will starve, if he doesn't get another gig soon. Ross agrees to employ him because hiring randoms, despite not having any money whatsoever, has kind of become his \"thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads over to his uncle's house and Pinky Ring is, of course, in the window staring down at him as he approaches. Get a life, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Verity (a.k.a. Daisy: The Prequel) is super jazzed that Ross has arrived 'cause everyone she lives with is so awful. Ross announces that he's not moving to London and returns his uncle's money. He misses a great opportunity to do this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about the suicide and Ross shares that he thinks it's worrisome that almost everyone has loans through Malfoy and his Slytherin relative. Ross' uncle is not worried because Malfoy is Backstabber Cousin's best friend, which makes a lot of sense. Ross invites Verity over (maybe he plans to hire her too?), but his uncle quickly shuts down their hangout. She apparently needs to stay home to pour his cream and wipe his butt. #JusticeforVerity!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross leaves, Pinky Ring is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> creepily watching from the window. Take up crocheting or scrapbooking, something! She sits down to think about how maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to hook up with her ex's cousin. The aphorism goes: Think of the boring Devil and he shall appear. Backstabber Cousin enters and Pinky Ring tries to avoid him by saying that she's tired and plans to lie down. He asks, \"Can I join you?\", creepily molests her braid and then basically does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\" alt=\"creepy gross kiss gif\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, the miners who beat up all those bros last episode find Ross and ask him if he can hire them too. Ross still has zero dollars, but says \u003cem>Probably!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to his father's abandoned mine to see if there's anything salvageable to be had there. Backstabber Cousin shows up because the writers of this show never want me to have a moment's peace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Father says you intend to remain.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Does that disappoint you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36410\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\" alt=\"snap latrice gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross says he feels bad about all the unemployed miners. Backstabber Cousin is like:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Ross suggests the possibility of reopening the mine together. Job creation clearly gets him off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a backyard across town, Pinky Ring is collecting eggs. Verity is scandalized! Only dowdy girls who are 25 and over are supposed to do menial chores! Pretty girls are meant to spend their days gazing out of windows at the men they wish they were still sleeping with. Everybody knows that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross tells his banker that he wants to reopen the mine. His banker's response:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/BQSsrvsszcs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/BQSsrvsszcs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Later, Malfoy's prostitute comes onto Ross at the pub (wouldn't you?). A banker laughing in your face is kind of a boner killer though so he passes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back home (so much commuting in Cornwall!), Ross runs into Verity, who has a favor to ask: will he escort her to a ball? She wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is asking the same favor of Pinky Ring: \"My dear, tonight's assembly, will you not reconsider? You know how I love to show off my wife to the world!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36464\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\" alt=\"jennifer lawrence disgusted gif\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The party \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lit\">is lit\u003c/a>. No, I mean literally. Candles everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the women are fanning themselves and looking at Poldark. Verity warns him that he could have one of these girls naked by the end of this song.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another room, a bunch of old snobs are tut-tutting about the miners. Why do commoners have to be so \u003cem>loud\u003c/em> about their rights? Backstabber Cousin brings up the #AllMenAreCreatedEqual hashtag that is sweeping America. Everyone laughs and says it won't be trending for much longer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are taking advantage of Demelza, making her wash their clothes and the floors and give them pillows for their backs and feet. Is there any chance Demelza will develop telekinesis soon and exact revenge on these two, her bro-y family, Ross' uncle, etc? A boy can dream...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house party, Malfoy follows Ross around saying rude things that initially sound like pleasantries, and Ross says veiled rude things in return with a smile because they're British and this is how rivalries work over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the ballroom, Verity is thinking about how she's going to be a virgin forever and ever, until she's interrupted by a sea captain! Verity says all the ship-related words she knows: sails and masts. You go, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere on the dance floor, the girl from episode one, who talked sh*t about the Poldarks while Ross was asleep in the coach on his way home, shows up and pukes boring small talk all over Ross. His name is no, his sign is no, his number is no; you need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Demelza sneaks into Ross' room and touches all his stuff. She sits at the piano and dreams of being a proto-Tori Amos. She already has a lot of experiences to pull from: the lice, the dog fight, the hot employer. This could work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the rave, things are heating up between Verity and the captain. He is teaching her new boat words, some of which are downright salacious, like \"spanker boom,\" which is \u003ca href=\"http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Spanker+boom\">apparently a real thing\u003c/a>. Then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Captain:\u003c/strong> \"I'd really like us to be better acquainted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Me too. ...I should not have said that! What must you think of me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36471\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"i'm a slut wiig gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is sneaking back out of his room when Mr. Pigpen catches her and tells her she should go back to her bro-family and that she'll never amount to anything. Where's that telekinesis when a girl needs it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fiesta, Ross is cornered by coach girl, who wants to dance. His name is still no, his sign is still no, his number is still no, you still need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He ditches her and approaches Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring 'cause dealing with them always ends well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Have you come to take my wife off my hands?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36472\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\" alt=\"edward scissorhands nodding gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They engage in a fancy do-si-do and everyone is scandalized. Except for Backstabber Cousin who is all derp derp derp, until Malfoy gets in his ear and warns him that he's about to get cuckolded in a major way. He looks at his wife and her ex and is finally like, \u003cem>Ohhh yeahhhh, they are soul mates and I'm just... here.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is kicking wine back and laughing really loudly with Ross. Verity runs over to say, \u003cem>Um, hi, I might have said something slutty before, but this is way worse! You might as well have dyed hair! Go dance with your husband!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Verity gets back to her new admirer, the Captain gets fresher by the minute. He wants to meet Verity's father to ask for her hand. Wow. Turns out all you gotta do to bag a husband is let him mansplain boats to you. Spanker boom boom room, here they come! But wait, he must tell her a deep, dark secret before things go any further... Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross storms out of the party and runs to the inn to find the prostitute. His name is yes, his sign is yes, his number is yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another night of spooning, Demelza and her cute, shy puppy are picking flowers along the cliffs. Demelza spots Ross on his horse trot of shame. He strips naked and goes skinny dipping in the chilly sea (his 18th century spin on the cold shower). He even gets in on this action:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\" alt=\"poldark skinny dip gif\" width=\"643\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza likes what she sees. (For all the pervs out there, this happens around the 30:15 mark; you're very welcome.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that morning, Demelza has to serve Ross like she hasn't seen his twig and berries. It's hard. (The task of pretending, I mean. Not sure about the other thing.) And she'll have to pretend all day long because Ross invites her to come into town with him. He tells her to get her cloak. She's like, \u003cem>Um, I'm poor, remember? I'm already wearing everything I own.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get to town, they split up to run errands. Ross immediately runs into Pinky Ring because duh. He helps her carry some fabric because they're uneducated so textbooks weren't an option. Malfoy lurks in the background, spying, because this town is apparently the size of a studio apartment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets up with Backstabber Cousin, who is supposed to help pitch the idea of reopening the mine to a bunch of moneyed men. But, oops, Malfoy has been talking smack in his ear and Backstabber Cousin announces he no longer wants to go. Ross does not have time for this and is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\" alt=\"nene ok girl bye gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Ross basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36481\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\" alt=\"GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, like Kim, he's pretty so all the men are like, \u003cem>Take our money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To celebrate his nonsensical victory, Ross buys Demelza her very first bad ass cape and she walks down the street past a bunch of judgmental jerks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"kathie lee cape gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin and his dad can not believe what went down at the ball. How could a woman of a certain station act like such a whore in front of everyone?? Pinky Ring eavesdrops from the adjoining room and slut shames herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, there's a knock at the door. The Pigpens are nowhere to be found (typical) so Demelza has to answer it and it's Pinky Ring, the floozy who dared to square dance with a man that isn't her husband. The horror!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like in the last episode, Demelza gives Pinky Ring a withering \"Girl, are you serious?\" look:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png\" alt=\"demelza poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring has come to cry in Ross' face about what she overheard. The family knows about their sizzling hot sexual chemistry! The jig is up! Ross is jazzed and is moments away from trying to make out with her, when Mr. Pigpen waltzes in for the c*ckblock. It's a scene snatched from every dorm room in America. Roommates are the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to his uncle's place to formally announce that he's stealing Pinky Ring back. When he arrives, his uncle, his cousin and the tarot-reading old lady are all distraught... over what a loose woman \u003cem>Verity\u003c/em> has become. *record scratch*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olympic conclusion jumper Pinky Ring sits in the corner like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\" alt=\"oops real housewives gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plan is to keep Verity locked up so she doesn't have sex with the captain, who allegedly likes a cocktail every now and then and also maybe sorta beat his wife to death. Verity is a \"plain girl\" and they need to save her from her urge to get with the only man who's ever hit on her. Ross agrees to help and somehow manages not to hire any new employees. Progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, as Ross is leaving, Verity pops up, but oddly isn't wearing her scarlet letter (the embroiderer must still be working on it). She says that her family is lying. The captain barely pushed his wife, who then did technically die, but it was sort of an accident and, despite not knowing his star sign or favorite color, she just \u003cem>knows\u003c/em> that he would never ever hurt her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Verity and her man hanging out at Ross' house because he loves helping people (if hiring them isn't a possibility).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross handles some heavy bales of hay with his shirt completely on, a worker notices the tops of parasols over the fence. It's the thirsty girl from the ball and her mom. Why would she bring her mother, you ask? Because who else is going to just come out and say: \"One only has to taste her syllabubs to know they are succulent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\" alt=\"family feud shocked scandalized gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you don't watch \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>, syllabubs are a whipped cream dessert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36597\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\" alt=\"katy perry whipped cream bikini gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\" alt=\"whipped cream bikini varsity gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, Ross is not hungry. He tells them NEVER GONNA HAPPEN and walks away (in the politest, British way possible of course).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the house, the captain is telling Verity about his multiple children. Run, Verity! 25 might be too old to be desirable by 18th century standards, but 25 is too young to be a stepmom to a bunch of kids who will hate you no matter what because you're not their dead mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, storm clouds are gathering, which, according to the rules of obvious TV tropes, means that sh*t is about to go down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As expected, Backstabber Cousin and his dad crash Verity's super sexy I'll-sit-way-over-here-on-this-bench-while-you-teach-me-boring-boat-terms-from-way-over-there hangout. Backstabber Cousin challenges the Captain to an epithet-hurling contest. Backstabber Cousin volleys a \"Filthy skunk!\", but it's no match for the Captain's spike of \"Insolent puppy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is Backstabber Cousin to do now, after two long episodes of his masculinity being trampled all over? GUN FIGHT, that's what!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross could easily stop this madness from happening, but opts for this approach instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36599\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\" alt=\"romy michele gif popcorn\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity tries to put an end to the insanity, but is knocked down by her brother, proving that this has nothing to do with caring about her and everything to do with people thinking he does in fact have testicles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The men take their paces, turn and shoot. Who's dead?? Is it both? Let it be both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope. Francis got shot in the neck and the Captain is unhurt, minus the pain of how awkward this now is for him. \u003cem>Oops, murdered your brother. Wanna honeymoon in Maui?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes Backstabber Cousin's dying body into the house and saves his life, a fact that doesn't stop Pinky Ring from yelling at him nor his uncle from blaming Ross for everything and calling him a disgrace. With friends like these...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the coup de grace: Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Thanks for saving that twerp's life because I forgot to tell you: I'm pregnant with a baby that's definitely not yours, k thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin: \u003c/strong>It was a tight race for Worst Person Ever this week, but B.C. eked out a win for several reasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirtsy Girl's Mom: \u003c/strong>She's shameless and kind of gross, but both take nerve so hat's off to her for pimping out her daughter so brazenly centuries before \u003cem>Toddlers and Tiaras\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>He heard the world's call for him to take off his shirt and, because he loves to help people, took off all his clothes and even got wet. A true humanitarian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> She deserves better than being born in an age where everyone hates women this much. I hope she finds a time machine or a hidden matriarchal society soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Her self-care regiment is truly inspirational:\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After a long week of hard work, it's only right to reward oneself with some me time and a skinny dip peep show feat. Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "Juggernauts Repeat at 2016 Emmys, But Fresh Faces Get Their Due",
"headTitle": "Juggernauts Repeat at 2016 Emmys, But Fresh Faces Get Their Due | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>It was the night of the small-screen giants. And none stood taller at the 2016 Emmys than the HBO juggernauts \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>, which won for best drama and comedy series, respectively. \u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em> also won the Emmy for outstanding limited series.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> and \u003cem>VEEP\u003c/em> may have pulled off repeat wins at Sunday’s Emmy Awards, but there was also plenty of room for fresh faces in the winner’s circle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First-time nominee Rami Malek won best drama actor for his role as on USA’s \u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em> as delusional hacker Elliot Alderson. “Please tell me you’re seeing this, too,” Malek quipped before noting there was probably a bit of the alienated Alderson in all of us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003ca class=\"twitter-timeline\" href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23NPREmmys%20from%3Anpr%20OR%20from%3Adeggans%20OR%20from%3Anprmonkeysee%20OR%20from%3Aghweldon%20OR%20from%3Aninaberries%20OR%20from%3Aidislikestephen\" data-widget-id=\"777937030898520064\">Tweets about #NPREmmys from:npr OR from:deggans OR from:nprmonkeysee OR from:ghweldon OR from:ninaberries OR from:idislikestephen\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\n \u003cscript>!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+\"://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js\";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,\"script\",\"twitter-wjs\");\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tatiana Maslany, who plays several different clones of the same woman on the sci-fi series \u003cem>Orphan Black\u003c/em>, was a surprise winner as best drama actress; fans of the show often complained in its early years that her acting achievements weren’t recognized by the Emmys.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The comedy categories were a bit more predictable. \u003cem>VEEP\u003c/em> star Julia Louis-Dreyfus earned her fifth consecutive Emmy as best comedy actress – her seventh Emmy as a performer, in total – equaling the total by Mary Tyler Moore and Allison Janney. She choked up while accepting her award, dedicating it to her father, who she said had passed away on Friday.\u003cem> \u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Transparent \u003c/em>star Jeffrey Tambor was named best actor in a comedy; his second consecutive Emmy win. Tambor used his acceptance speech to advocate that the producers and TV executives in the room hire more transgender performers to play transgender characters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Please give transgender talent a chance,” said Tambor, who is himself a non-transgender actor playing a transgender character. “I would not be unhappy were I the last cisgender male to play a female transgender on television.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Host Jimmy Kimmel even managed a joke about how the dark and often dramatic \u003cem>Transparent \u003c/em>wound up competing in the Emmys as a comedy, noting the show “was born as a drama, but it identifies as a comedy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel proved a nimble and snarky host, tweaking GOP presidential candidate (and former \u003cem>Celebrity Apprentice\u003c/em> star) Donald Trump as a creation of reality TV and starting the awards with a pre-taped comedy bit that included former GOP candidate Jeb Bush playing a limo driver. The comic handed out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the crowd and drew gasps by having the show’s announcer note that the next presenter would be Bill Cosby, now facing trial on sexual assault charges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He’s not really here,” Kimmel joked, walking onstage after the camera had shown several shocked celebrities in the audience. “I just wanted to see what you guys would do.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FX’s \u003cem>People v O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em> ruled much of the limited series category, with big wins for Sarah Paulson, Sterling K. Brown and Courtney B. Vance, who played Simpson prosecutors Marcia Clark and Chris Darden and Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochrane, respectively.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paulson even apologized during her acceptance speech for originally joining the world back during the time of the Simpson trial in adopting a “superficial” opinion of Clark, who attended the Emmys Sunday with the actress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the heels of continued debate about diversity in Hollywood, the Emmy awards honored a wide variety of performers, writers, directors and producers. Key wins for people of color and women included: \u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em>‘s Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang (writing in a comedy series), \u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>‘s Jill Soloway (directing, comedy series), \u003cem>Key & Peele\u003c/em> (variety sketch series), \u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>‘s Regina King (supporting actress, limited series). Such diversity ensured organizers never had to worry about a hashtag like #EmmysSoWhite trending.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The show even concluded at its scheduled time, with no extra padding. It added up to an Emmycast which deftly honored longtime achievers while shining a spotlight on new talents, delivering an awards show worthy of TV’s current Golden Age.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NPR’s TV critic, Eric Deggans, along with Glen Weldon and Linda Holmes of \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/\">Monkey See\u003c/a>, offered commentary on the show in real time. Dig back into their tweets as the night went on below — or find all the fun \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=%23npremmys&src=typd&lang=en\">right here on Twitter.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Below, you’ll find a list of all the nominees and winners. Find the winners in bold.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Americans \u003c/em>(FX)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em> (AMC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em> (USA)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em> (Showtime)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em> (Amazon)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kyle Chandler (\u003cem>Bloodline\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Rami Malek (\u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Bob Odenkirk (\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Matthew Rhys (\u003cem>The Americans\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Liev Schreiber (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kevin Spacey (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Viola Davis (\u003cem>How to Get Away With Murder\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Claire Danes (\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Taraji P. Henson (\u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Tatiana Maslany (\u003cem>Orphan Black\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Keri Russell \u003cem>(The Americans)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>Robin Wright (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anthony Anderson (\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Aziz Ansari (\u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Will Forte (\u003cem>The Last Man on Earth\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>William H. Macy (\u003cem>Shameless\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Thomas Middleditch (\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Jeffrey Tambor (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ellie Kemper (\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Julia Louis-Dreyfus (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>Getting On\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tracee Ellis Ross (\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Amy Schumer (\u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Lily Tomlin (\u003cem>Grace and Frankie\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jonathan Banks (\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Peter Dinklage (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kit Harington (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Michael Kelly (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Ben Mendelsohn (\u003cem>Bloodline\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Jon Voight (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Emilia Clarke (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Lena Headey (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Maggie Smith (\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Maura Tierney (\u003cem>The Affair\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Maisie Williams (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Constance Zimmer (\u003cem>UnREAL\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Louie Anderson (\u003cem>Baskets\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Andre Braugher (\u003cem>Brooklyn Nine-Nine\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Ty Burrell (\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tituss Burgess (\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tony Hale (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Keegan-Michael Key (\u003cem>Key and Peele\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Matt Walsh (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna Chlumsky (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Gaby Hoffmann (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Allison Janney (\u003cem>Mom\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Judith Light (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Kate McKinnon (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Niecy Nash (\u003cem>Getting On\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>B\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>est Directing for a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jill Soloway (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Aziz Ansari (\u003cem>Master Of None\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Alec Berg (\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Mike Judge (Silicon Valley)\u003cbr>Dave Mandel (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Chris Addison (Veep)\u003cbr>Dale Stern (Veep)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Limited Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em> (FX)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em> (AMC)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em> (FX)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Roots\u003c/em> (History)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>A Very Murray Christmas\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Confirmation\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Luther\u003c/em> (BBC One)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Sherlock: The Abominable Bride\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bryan Cranston (\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Benedict Cumberbatch (\u003cem>Sherlock: The Abominable Bride\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Idris Elba (\u003cem>Luther\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Cuba Gooding Jr. (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tom Hiddleston (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Courtney B. Vance (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kirsten Dunst (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Felicity Huffman (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Audra McDonald (\u003cem>Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Sarah Paulson (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Lili Taylor (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kerry Washington (\u003cem>Confirmation\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Writing for a Limited Series or Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bob DeLaurentis (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Noah Hawley (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>D.V. DeVincentis (The People v. O.J. Simpson)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski (The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story)\u003cbr>Joe Robert Cole (The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Limited Series, Movie or Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jay Roach, (\u003cem>All The Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Susanne Bier (The Night Manager)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Noah Hawley \u003cem>(Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Ryan Murphy (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Anthony Hemingway (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>John Singleton (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Miguel Sapochnik (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Michael Engler\u003cem> (Downton Abbey\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jack Bender (\u003cem>Game Of Thrones)\u003c/em>\u003cbr>Lesli Linka Glatter (\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Steven Soderbergh (\u003cem>The Knick\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>David Hollander (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sterling K. Brown (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Hugh Laurie (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jesse Plemons (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>David Schwimmer (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>John Travolta (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bokeem Woodbine (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kathy Bates (\u003cem>American Horror Story: Hotel\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Olivia Colman (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Regina King (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Melissa Leo (\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Sarah Paulson (\u003cem>American Horror Story: Hotel\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jean Smart (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Hank Azaria (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Mahershala Ali (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Reg E. Cathey (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Michael J. Fox (\u003cem>The Good Wife\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Paul Sparks (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Max von Sydow (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Margo Martindale (\u003cem>The Americans\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Ellen Burstyn (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Allison Janney (\u003cem>Masters of Sex\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>Horace and Pete\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Molly Parker (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Carrie Preston (\u003cem>The Good Wife\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Peter Scolari (\u003cem>Girls\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Larry David (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tracy Morgan (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Martin Mull (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bob Newhart (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bradley Whitford (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tina Fey & Amy Poehler (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Christine Baranski (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Melora Hardin (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Melissa McCarthy (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Amy Schumer (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Talk Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee \u003c/em>(Crackle)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Jimmy Kimmel Live!\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Last Week Tonight With John Oliver\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Late Late Show with James Corden\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Real Time With Bill Maher\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Variety Show\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beth McCarthy-Miller (\u003cem>Adele Live In New York City\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Chris Rock (\u003cem>Amy Schumer: Live At The Apollo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Thomas Kail and Alex Rudzinski (\u003cem>Grease: Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Louis J. Horvitz (\u003cem>58th Grammy Awards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Glenn Weiss (\u003cem>The Kennedy Center Honors\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kahlil Joseph, Beyoncé Knowles Carter (\u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Sketch Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Documentary Now! \u003c/em>(IFC)\u003cem>\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>Drunk History\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Key & Peele\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Portlandia\u003c/em> (IFC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Special Class Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Grease Live!\u003c/em> (FOX)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>73rd Golden Globe Awards (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Oscars\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>69th Annual Tony Awards\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Prime Time Special \u003c/em>(CBS) (WINNER)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Adele Live in New York City\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Kennedy Center Honors\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Reality-Competition Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Amazing Race\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>American Ninja Warrior\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Dancing With the Stars\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Project Runway\u003c/em> (Lifetime)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Top Chef\u003c/em> (Bravo)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Voice\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>RuPaul Charles (\u003cem>RuPaul’s Drag Race\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Ryan Seacrest (\u003cem>American Idol\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tom Bergeron (\u003cem>Dancing With the Stars\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jane Lynch (\u003cem>Hollywood Game Night\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Steve Harvey (\u003cem>Little Big Shots\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn (\u003cem>Project Runway\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Structured Reality Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Shark Tank\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Antiques Roadshow\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives\u003c/em> (Food Network)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Lip Sync Battle\u003c/em> (Spike)\u003cbr>\u003cem>MythBusters\u003c/em> (Discovery Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Undercover Boss\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Unstructured Reality Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Born This Way\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> (A&E)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Deadliest Catch\u003c/em> (Discovery Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Gaycation With Ellen Page\u003c/em> (Viceland)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Intervention\u003c/em> (A&E)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Project Greenlight\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>United Shades of America\u003c/em> (CNN)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Documentary or Nonfiction Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>What Happened, Miss Simone?\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Becoming Mike Nichols\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Everything is Copy — Nora Ephron: Scripted & Unscripted\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Listen to Me Marlon\u003c/em> (Showtime)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Mapplethorpe: Look at the Pictures\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Documentary or Nonfiction Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>American Masters\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Chef’s Table\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Seventies\u003c/em> (CNN)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Woman With Gloria Steinem\u003c/em> (Viceland)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Limited Series \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The People v. OJ Simpson\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>American Crime\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>Fargo\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>Roots\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Writing for a Variety Special\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>\u003cbr> Patton Oswalt (\u003cem>Talking For Clapping)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Amy Schumer (Amy Schumer: Live At The Apollo)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>John Mulaney (John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>Tig Notaro (Tig Notaro: Boyish Girl Interrupted)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>(Triumph’s Election Special 2016)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Best Informational Series or Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown\u003c/em> (CNN)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Inside the Actors Studio\u003c/em> (Bravo)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Star Talk With Neil deGrasse Tyson\u003c/em> (National Geographic Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Story of God With Morgan Freeman\u003c/em> (National Geographic Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Vice\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Writing for a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Americans, “\u003c/em>Persona Non Grata”\u003cem> \u003c/em>(FX), Written by Joel fields, Joe Weisenberg\u003cbr>\u003cem>Downton Abbey, “\u003c/em>Episode 8″\u003cem> \u003c/em>(PBS), Writen by Julian Fellowes\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Game of Thrones, “\u003c/em>Battle Of The Bastards”\u003cem> \u003c/em>(HBO), Written by David Benioff, D.B. 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"excerpt": "'Game of Thrones', 'Veep' and 'The People v. O.J. Simpson' won for best drama, comedy and limited series — but some new names made splashes, too. NPR's pop culture crew live-tweeted the night's festivities.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It was the night of the small-screen giants. And none stood taller at the 2016 Emmys than the HBO juggernauts \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>, which won for best drama and comedy series, respectively. \u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em> also won the Emmy for outstanding limited series.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> and \u003cem>VEEP\u003c/em> may have pulled off repeat wins at Sunday’s Emmy Awards, but there was also plenty of room for fresh faces in the winner’s circle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>First-time nominee Rami Malek won best drama actor for his role as on USA’s \u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em> as delusional hacker Elliot Alderson. “Please tell me you’re seeing this, too,” Malek quipped before noting there was probably a bit of the alienated Alderson in all of us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003ca class=\"twitter-timeline\" href=\"https://twitter.com/search?q=%23NPREmmys%20from%3Anpr%20OR%20from%3Adeggans%20OR%20from%3Anprmonkeysee%20OR%20from%3Aghweldon%20OR%20from%3Aninaberries%20OR%20from%3Aidislikestephen\" data-widget-id=\"777937030898520064\">Tweets about #NPREmmys from:npr OR from:deggans OR from:nprmonkeysee OR from:ghweldon OR from:ninaberries OR from:idislikestephen\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\n \u003cscript>!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+\"://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js\";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,\"script\",\"twitter-wjs\");\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tatiana Maslany, who plays several different clones of the same woman on the sci-fi series \u003cem>Orphan Black\u003c/em>, was a surprise winner as best drama actress; fans of the show often complained in its early years that her acting achievements weren’t recognized by the Emmys.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The comedy categories were a bit more predictable. \u003cem>VEEP\u003c/em> star Julia Louis-Dreyfus earned her fifth consecutive Emmy as best comedy actress – her seventh Emmy as a performer, in total – equaling the total by Mary Tyler Moore and Allison Janney. She choked up while accepting her award, dedicating it to her father, who she said had passed away on Friday.\u003cem> \u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Transparent \u003c/em>star Jeffrey Tambor was named best actor in a comedy; his second consecutive Emmy win. Tambor used his acceptance speech to advocate that the producers and TV executives in the room hire more transgender performers to play transgender characters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Please give transgender talent a chance,” said Tambor, who is himself a non-transgender actor playing a transgender character. “I would not be unhappy were I the last cisgender male to play a female transgender on television.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Host Jimmy Kimmel even managed a joke about how the dark and often dramatic \u003cem>Transparent \u003c/em>wound up competing in the Emmys as a comedy, noting the show “was born as a drama, but it identifies as a comedy.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel proved a nimble and snarky host, tweaking GOP presidential candidate (and former \u003cem>Celebrity Apprentice\u003c/em> star) Donald Trump as a creation of reality TV and starting the awards with a pre-taped comedy bit that included former GOP candidate Jeb Bush playing a limo driver. The comic handed out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the crowd and drew gasps by having the show’s announcer note that the next presenter would be Bill Cosby, now facing trial on sexual assault charges.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“He’s not really here,” Kimmel joked, walking onstage after the camera had shown several shocked celebrities in the audience. “I just wanted to see what you guys would do.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FX’s \u003cem>People v O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em> ruled much of the limited series category, with big wins for Sarah Paulson, Sterling K. Brown and Courtney B. Vance, who played Simpson prosecutors Marcia Clark and Chris Darden and Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochrane, respectively.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Paulson even apologized during her acceptance speech for originally joining the world back during the time of the Simpson trial in adopting a “superficial” opinion of Clark, who attended the Emmys Sunday with the actress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the heels of continued debate about diversity in Hollywood, the Emmy awards honored a wide variety of performers, writers, directors and producers. Key wins for people of color and women included: \u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em>‘s Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang (writing in a comedy series), \u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>‘s Jill Soloway (directing, comedy series), \u003cem>Key & Peele\u003c/em> (variety sketch series), \u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>‘s Regina King (supporting actress, limited series). Such diversity ensured organizers never had to worry about a hashtag like #EmmysSoWhite trending.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The show even concluded at its scheduled time, with no extra padding. It added up to an Emmycast which deftly honored longtime achievers while shining a spotlight on new talents, delivering an awards show worthy of TV’s current Golden Age.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NPR’s TV critic, Eric Deggans, along with Glen Weldon and Linda Holmes of \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/\">Monkey See\u003c/a>, offered commentary on the show in real time. Dig back into their tweets as the night went on below — or find all the fun \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/search?f=tweets&vertical=default&q=%23npremmys&src=typd&lang=en\">right here on Twitter.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Below, you’ll find a list of all the nominees and winners. Find the winners in bold.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Americans \u003c/em>(FX)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em> (AMC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em> (USA)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em> (Showtime)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em> (Amazon)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kyle Chandler (\u003cem>Bloodline\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Rami Malek (\u003cem>Mr. Robot\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Bob Odenkirk (\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Matthew Rhys (\u003cem>The Americans\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Liev Schreiber (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kevin Spacey (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Viola Davis (\u003cem>How to Get Away With Murder\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Claire Danes (\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Taraji P. Henson (\u003cem>Empire\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Tatiana Maslany (\u003cem>Orphan Black\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Keri Russell \u003cem>(The Americans)\u003cbr>\u003c/em>Robin Wright (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anthony Anderson (\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Aziz Ansari (\u003cem>Master of None\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Will Forte (\u003cem>The Last Man on Earth\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>William H. Macy (\u003cem>Shameless\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Thomas Middleditch (\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Jeffrey Tambor (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ellie Kemper (\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Julia Louis-Dreyfus (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>Getting On\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tracee Ellis Ross (\u003cem>Black-ish\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Amy Schumer (\u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Lily Tomlin (\u003cem>Grace and Frankie\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jonathan Banks (\u003cem>Better Call Saul\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Peter Dinklage (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kit Harington (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Michael Kelly (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Ben Mendelsohn (\u003cem>Bloodline\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Jon Voight (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Emilia Clarke (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Lena Headey (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Maggie Smith (\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Maura Tierney (\u003cem>The Affair\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Maisie Williams (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Constance Zimmer (\u003cem>UnREAL\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Louie Anderson (\u003cem>Baskets\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Andre Braugher (\u003cem>Brooklyn Nine-Nine\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Ty Burrell (\u003cem>Modern Family\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tituss Burgess (\u003cem>Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tony Hale (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Keegan-Michael Key (\u003cem>Key and Peele\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Matt Walsh (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna Chlumsky (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Gaby Hoffmann (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Allison Janney (\u003cem>Mom\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Judith Light (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Kate McKinnon (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Niecy Nash (\u003cem>Getting On\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>B\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>est Directing for a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Jill Soloway (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Aziz Ansari (\u003cem>Master Of None\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Alec Berg (\u003cem>Silicon Valley\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Mike Judge (Silicon Valley)\u003cbr>Dave Mandel (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Chris Addison (Veep)\u003cbr>Dale Stern (Veep)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Limited Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em> (FX)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em> (AMC)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em> (FX)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Roots\u003c/em> (History)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>A Very Murray Christmas\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Confirmation\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Luther\u003c/em> (BBC One)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Sherlock: The Abominable Bride\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bryan Cranston (\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Benedict Cumberbatch (\u003cem>Sherlock: The Abominable Bride\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Idris Elba (\u003cem>Luther\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Cuba Gooding Jr. (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tom Hiddleston (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Courtney B. Vance (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kirsten Dunst (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Felicity Huffman (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Audra McDonald (\u003cem>Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Sarah Paulson (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Lili Taylor (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kerry Washington (\u003cem>Confirmation\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Writing for a Limited Series or Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bob DeLaurentis (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Noah Hawley (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>D.V. DeVincentis (The People v. O.J. Simpson)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski (The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story)\u003cbr>Joe Robert Cole (The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Limited Series, Movie or Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jay Roach, (\u003cem>All The Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Susanne Bier (The Night Manager)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Noah Hawley \u003cem>(Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Ryan Murphy (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Anthony Hemingway (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>John Singleton (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Miguel Sapochnik (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Michael Engler\u003cem> (Downton Abbey\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jack Bender (\u003cem>Game Of Thrones)\u003c/em>\u003cbr>Lesli Linka Glatter (\u003cem>Homeland\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Steven Soderbergh (\u003cem>The Knick\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>David Hollander (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actor in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sterling K. Brown (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Hugh Laurie (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jesse Plemons (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>David Schwimmer (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>John Travolta (\u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bokeem Woodbine (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series or a Television Movie\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kathy Bates (\u003cem>American Horror Story: Hotel\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Olivia Colman (\u003cem>The Night Manager\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Regina King (\u003cem>American Crime\u003c/em>)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>Melissa Leo (\u003cem>All the Way\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Sarah Paulson (\u003cem>American Horror Story: Hotel\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jean Smart (\u003cem>Fargo\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actor in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Hank Azaria (\u003cem>Ray Donovan\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Mahershala Ali (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Reg E. Cathey (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Michael J. Fox (\u003cem>The Good Wife\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Paul Sparks (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Max von Sydow (\u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actress in a Drama Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Margo Martindale (\u003cem>The Americans\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Ellen Burstyn (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Allison Janney (\u003cem>Masters of Sex\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>Horace and Pete\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Molly Parker (\u003cem>House of Cards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Carrie Preston (\u003cem>The Good Wife\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Peter Scolari (\u003cem>Girls\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Larry David (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tracy Morgan (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Martin Mull (\u003cem>Veep\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bob Newhart (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Bradley Whitford (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tina Fey & Amy Poehler (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Christine Baranski (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Melora Hardin (\u003cem>Transparent\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Melissa McCarthy (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Laurie Metcalf (\u003cem>The Big Bang Theory\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Amy Schumer (\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Talk Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee \u003c/em>(Crackle)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Jimmy Kimmel Live!\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Last Week Tonight With John Oliver\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Late Late Show with James Corden\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Real Time With Bill Maher\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Directing for a Variety Show\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Beth McCarthy-Miller (\u003cem>Adele Live In New York City\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Chris Rock (\u003cem>Amy Schumer: Live At The Apollo\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Thomas Kail and Alex Rudzinski (\u003cem>Grease: Live\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Louis J. Horvitz (\u003cem>58th Grammy Awards\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Glenn Weiss (\u003cem>The Kennedy Center Honors\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Kahlil Joseph, Beyoncé Knowles Carter (\u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Sketch Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Documentary Now! \u003c/em>(IFC)\u003cem>\u003cbr>\u003c/em>\u003cem>Drunk History\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Key & Peele\u003c/em> (Comedy Central)\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003cem>Portlandia\u003c/em> (IFC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Saturday Night Live\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Special Class Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Grease Live!\u003c/em> (FOX)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>73rd Golden Globe Awards (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Oscars\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>69th Annual Tony Awards\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Variety Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke Prime Time Special \u003c/em>(CBS) (WINNER)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Adele Live in New York City\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Kennedy Center Honors\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Reality-Competition Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>The Amazing Race\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>American Ninja Warrior\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Dancing With the Stars\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Project Runway\u003c/em> (Lifetime)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Top Chef\u003c/em> (Bravo)\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The Voice\u003c/em> (NBC)\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>RuPaul Charles (\u003cem>RuPaul’s Drag Race\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>Ryan Seacrest (\u003cem>American Idol\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Tom Bergeron (\u003cem>Dancing With the Stars\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Jane Lynch (\u003cem>Hollywood Game Night\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Steve Harvey (\u003cem>Little Big Shots\u003c/em>)\u003cbr>Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn (\u003cem>Project Runway\u003c/em>)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Structured Reality Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Shark Tank\u003c/em> (ABC)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Antiques Roadshow\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives\u003c/em> (Food Network)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Lip Sync Battle\u003c/em> (Spike)\u003cbr>\u003cem>MythBusters\u003c/em> (Discovery Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Undercover Boss\u003c/em> (CBS)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Unstructured Reality Program\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Born This Way\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> (A&E)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Deadliest Catch\u003c/em> (Discovery Channel)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Gaycation With Ellen Page\u003c/em> (Viceland)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Intervention\u003c/em> (A&E)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Project Greenlight\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>United Shades of America\u003c/em> (CNN)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Documentary or Nonfiction Special\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>What Happened, Miss Simone?\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>Becoming Mike Nichols\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Everything is Copy — Nora Ephron: Scripted & Unscripted\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Listen to Me Marlon\u003c/em> (Showtime)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Mapplethorpe: Look at the Pictures\u003c/em> (HBO)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Documentary or Nonfiction Series\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003c/strong>\u003cem>American Masters\u003c/em> (PBS)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Chef’s Table\u003c/em> (Netflix)\u003cbr>\u003cem>The Seventies\u003c/em> (CNN)\u003cbr>\u003cem>Woman With Gloria Steinem\u003c/em> (Viceland)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Best Limited Series \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>The People v. 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"content": "\u003cp>As further proof that this presidential campaign is everywhere, Sunday night's Emmys stage featured several nods to the candidates as well as the current political climate. Here are some highlights:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Julia Louis-Dreyfus' wall\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Accepting an Emmy for outstanding lead actress in a comedy, the \u003cem>Veep\u003c/em> star issued a \"personal apology\" for today's political climate and made light of Donald Trump's proposal to build a wall at the U.S.-Mexico border. \"Our show started out as a political satire, but it now feels more like a sobering documentary,\" she said. \"So I certainly do promise to rebuild that wall and make Mexico pay for it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaCLhIaqimY\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Jeb! is back\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, who floundered in the presidential primary, came back Sunday night as an Uber driver to host Jimmy Kimmel (\"I'm in between jobs right now,\" Bush says). The scene was part of Kimmel's opening monologue in which he's trying to get to the ceremony. Bush picks him up, then kicks him out of the car and speeds off, poking fun at the negativity of the race along the way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Bush: Are you nominated?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: I am, yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Wow, what's that like?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: It's nice, it's nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: You think you can win?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: There's a lot of competition. And, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Well, here's what I know. If you run a positive campaign, the voters ultimately will make the right choice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: It's funny you say that, my psychic —\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Jimmy, that was a joke. Get out of the car. And shave that wig off your face you godless Hollywood hippie. Jeb exclamation point!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r54CqBhoIjk\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Kate McKinnon thanks Hillary Clinton\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SNL's McKinnon, who has portrayed Clinton on the show, won for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series. She thanked Hillary Clinton in her speech. Here's a throwback to McKinnon and Clinton on the show together:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://www.hulu.com/watch/852289\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. \"Obama out\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Courtney B. Vance won an Emmy for his performance as lawyer Johnnie Cochran in \u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>. After thanking his laundry list, he ended his speech with a (rather odd) shoutout: \"Obama out, Hillary in!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://gifs.com/gif/2kMm5A\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=WATCH%3A+The+4+Best+Political+Moments+From+The+Emmys&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, who floundered in the presidential primary, came back Sunday night as an Uber driver to host Jimmy Kimmel (\"I'm in between jobs right now,\" Bush says). The scene was part of Kimmel's opening monologue in which he's trying to get to the ceremony. Bush picks him up, then kicks him out of the car and speeds off, poking fun at the negativity of the race along the way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>Bush: Are you nominated?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: I am, yeah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Wow, what's that like?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: It's nice, it's nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: You think you can win?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: There's a lot of competition. And, probably not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Well, here's what I know. If you run a positive campaign, the voters ultimately will make the right choice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kimmel: It's funny you say that, my psychic —\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bush: Jimmy, that was a joke. Get out of the car. And shave that wig off your face you godless Hollywood hippie. Jeb exclamation point!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r54CqBhoIjk\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Kate McKinnon thanks Hillary Clinton\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SNL's McKinnon, who has portrayed Clinton on the show, won for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series. She thanked Hillary Clinton in her speech. Here's a throwback to McKinnon and Clinton on the show together:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://www.hulu.com/watch/852289\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. \"Obama out\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Courtney B. Vance won an Emmy for his performance as lawyer Johnnie Cochran in \u003cem>The People v. O.J. Simpson\u003c/em>. After thanking his laundry list, he ended his speech with a (rather odd) shoutout: \"Obama out, Hillary in!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://gifs.com/gif/2kMm5A\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=WATCH%3A+The+4+Best+Political+Moments+From+The+Emmys&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey recaps\u003c/a> of yore. Since that show wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports. So I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with a show called Poldark that a bunch of you are supposedly crazy about. I have to be honest, I was skeptical at first. But my doubt was no match for \u003ca href=\"http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5383476.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/Poldark-star-Aidan-Turner-getting-the-brush-off-from-a-crew-member.jpg\">this photo\u003c/a> so here I am, recapping season 1, in anticipation of the imminent second season. I hope you'll join me. Let's do this...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The series starts with a shot of leaves. No dog butt, no bell tolling, no slowly falling rose petal, no feather duster flirting with a chandelier. It's only been 3 seconds, but watching \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> already feels like dating too soon after a breakup. You just can't help comparing the new person to your ex. But I will push through because \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> and I are never ever getting back together (unless those film spin-off rumors end up being true).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, leaves. A bunch of British soldiers are kicking it in the woods of Virginia in 1781. The hottest one is named Ross Poldark. He's gambling because killing people can get boring after a while. His friend wants Ross to bet his pinky ring. Ross refuses because he's mad his friend brought up the fact that he's wearing a pinky ring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some killjoy emerges to complain about Ross' gambling ways and his lack of excitement about the war. Ross laughs because that's what he does to nerds. Apparently, Ross is only here because he was avoiding punishment for a laundry list of bad boy activities, mainly punching people in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Killjoy continues complaining... until he gets shot! The gang of Britain-haters hiding in the bushes apparently don't like nerds either. Everyone freaks out and Ross grabs a gun and yells at his friend, \"Do you want to leave here or die here?!?\" Um, leave, most likely? Because Ross was preoccupied with asking useless rhetorical questions, one of the attackers gets the chance to knock him out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Flashback to some girl who's running along a cliff back home. We'll call her Pinky Ring. She giggles because this is her first relationship and she has no idea how wack long-distance relationships are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in America, Ross is unconscious, surrounded by dead people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two years later in Cornwall (okay, we're not wasting any time here!), Ross is napping in a horse-drawn coach, while strangers talk sh*t about him very loudly. \u003cem>He was declared dead and yet here he is, wearing that pinky ring as ever. Better off dead, if you ask me, because his family's credit score sucks. Also, his dad is totally dead.\u003c/em> Ross stops pretending to be asleep and is like \u003cem>Wait, what?!\u003c/em> The rude gossipers are like \u003cem>Oops, didn't realize you could hear us! Our b! And yeah, your dad is totally dead.\u003c/em> Kill them, Ross. You're a war hero. No one will mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the strangers asks how the war was. Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/latrice-really-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33552\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/latrice-really-gif.gif\" alt=\"latrice really gif\" width=\"494\" height=\"266\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a list of things not to ask people who barely survived a war, this ranks somewhere in the neighborhood of \u003cem>How many friends did you have to watch die?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross asks to be let out because wouldn't you? All the rude strangers remind him that his house is further down. And Ross reminds them that his father is apparently super dead and won't be there. The strangers think to themselves, \u003cem>If we stay very, very still, maybe he will forget we're here?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"homer-simpson-bush-gif\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches them and walks to what looks like the edge of the Earth. The sky mingles with the mist of crashing waves and it's a damn shame Instagram will take another 240 years to be invented because Ross would get soooo many likes for this vista.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our favorite bad boy gets over his could've-been social media fame and makes his way over to his uncle's mansion. Inside, everyone is basically having a seated rave. Dead Ross and his dead daddy who? No one is the least bit bothered. Least of all, Pinky Ring, who is kicking it with a new dude, who tells her he likes her just the way she is. Nice try, buddy, but Colin Firth \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZu2JfM2Aq8\">already used that line\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The door opens and a girl who is too much like Daisy from \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> not to be her great great grandmother or something gets excited. Her dad tells her she shouldn't even dream about gentlemen callers. She will instead pour him his wine and serve him his weird British food forevermore cause the patriarchy is strong and she won't have any rights for... well, the rest of her life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The visitor turns out to be none other than Ross, back from the dead! Only Daisy's great great grandmother and Pinky Ring's new man, who turns out to be Ross' cousin (et tu, Brute?), get up to greet a man everyone thought they'd never see again. That's cool, everyone; stay seated. This isn't a miracle or anything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Girlfriend-stealing cousin tells Ross that he and Pinky Ring were very worried about him. Mmhmmm, suuuure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puppy-in-love Ross doesn't sniff out all the weirdness and instead thinks: \u003cem>Pinky Ring! You're here! Yay! What a coinkidink! I'm so excited to make out with you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before he gets the chance, Pinky Ring's mom takes a page out of the stage-coach strangers' book of zero manners. \"Do tell us how we managed to lose the war.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/murder-she-wrote-wtf-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33554\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/murder-she-wrote-wtf-gif.gif\" alt=\"murder she wrote wtf gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"170\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross brushes her rude prompt off 'cause, after years upon years abroad, he's gonna get some tonight! Not so fast, says everyone. \u003cem>Pinky Ring is marrying your cousin! Isn't that exciting?!\u003c/em> Ross' entire FML demeanor seems to suggest: No, that is not exciting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' uncle adds to the despair 'cause why not: \u003cem>P.S. Your dad left you basically nothing and Cornwall is poorer than ever. Welcome home, I guess!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross decides these people are gross and that he wants to be alone (#introvertsgonnaintrovert). But before he goes, he proposes a toast to the happy couple that ruined his life and didn't even apologize for it. Everyone feels first-day-of-school-after-a-summer-of-puberty awkward.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33553\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/britney-awkward-gif.gif\" alt=\"britney awkward gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross passes several Instagram opportunities on his way to his father's house. When he gets there, everything is in ruin. Rats and hens are running things now. Ross walks upstairs to find two snoring lumps in his dad's bed. He considers setting them on fire because it's just one of them days, but he opts for throwing a pail of cold water on them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're his father's good-for-nothing servants (picture any person you've ever seen on \u003cem>Hoarders\u003c/em> and multiply that person by two). Ross accuses them of starting the rumor that he was dead and threatens to hit them with the side of his foot. Go off, Ross! You've earned a good freak out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the uncle's house, Backstabber Cousin, some old lady and Daisy: The Prequel talk about how the Pinky Ring wedding should probably be moved up. \u003cem>Did y'all see Ross' curls?? I didn't remember them being so bouncy! Yeah, you need to lock that girl down before she realizes you're a 4 to Ross' 10.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to visit some of his buddies/tenants. Because this entire part of the country has no idea how to small talk without saying triggering things, someone asks Ross how the war was. HOW DO YOU THINK IT WAS, A-HOLE?! Another asks, What happened out there? SIGH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the region, Pinky Ring is sitting on a bench thinking\u003cem> I forgot just how bouncy Ross' curls are! \u003c/em>She hears the distant sound of hoofs and gets butterflies in her stomach.\u003cem> OMG, here's the part where he asks me to run away with him and I say I can't but almost kiss him anyway and then lead him on for months and months and months before settling for his cousin after all! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A servant comes and announces Poldark. Pinky Ring turns and -- boom! -- it's his cousin because THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME, which really drives the point home that what she's doing is really gross. There were no other men around who flaked on the war?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, a lawyer reminds Ross for the 324th time that he's broke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a manor, a former classmate and his bewigged uncle talk about manipulating Ross to their advantage. Geez, no wonder Ben Franklin and co. seceded. Everyone in England is apparently awful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Pinky Ring's house, Pinky Ring picks up her skirts and gets ready to run to wherever Ross is because Backstabber Cousin just isn't cute enough, his title be damned. Pinky Ring's mother pops out of a bush just in time to catch her and say, \u003cem>Actually, his title be NOT damned\u003c/em>. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Moooooom\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Ross gallops upon his lazy servants who look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35943\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d.jpg\" alt=\"a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d\" width=\"219\" height=\"329\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He tells Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen that they're actually going to have to help him turn things around if they don't want to die of starvation. They're like, \u003cem>Mooooooom\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up gallops, Daisy: The Prequel, who is like \u003cem>Girl, let's dish!\u003c/em> Ross is like,\u003cem> I'm kind of busy thinking of how I can climb out of poverty, but ok, sure. \u003c/em>D.T.P. calls out how weird it was for Pinky Ring to all of a sudden pounce on Backstabber Cousin (his name is apparently Francis and I'll maybe consider using it after I stop being pissed at him). Ross thinks she's in it for the cash and proceeds to sing selections from Kanye West's \"Gold Digger.\" Daisy informs Ross that their wedding is in two weeks, tosses him a \"sorry, bro\" and one of these: \u003cspan style=\"font-size: 22px;font-weight: bold;line-height: 1.09091\">¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross moves heavy rocks around and uses a hammer very aggressively. His shirt stays on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Backstabber Cousin sneaks up on Pinky Ring, who seems to be perpetually on a stroll in her backyard. He gives a sad little speech that boils down to: \u003cem>Hey, girl. I know I'm boring and not cute and understand if you want to call this off to be with my interesting and very cute cousin. Is there something you wish to tell me?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/THISGONBGUD.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35948\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/THISGONBGUD.gif\" alt=\"THISGONBGUD\" width=\"350\" height=\"191\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Go ahead, Pinky Ring! Say it! Say you hope you can still be friends and how it's not him, it's you and give him a Post-It that has \u003ca href=\"https://offmydottyrocker.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/img_6878.jpg?w=560&h=400&crop=1\">I Can't, I'm Sorry, Don't Hate Me \u003c/a>scribbled on it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3eu9epuZO1smcbm7o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35949\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3eu9epuZO1smcbm7o1_400.gif\" alt=\"go on gif\" width=\"300\" height=\"161\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I wish to tell you...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35950\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1.gif\" alt=\"i dream genie gif popcorn\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...that I cannot wait to be your wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35951\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls\" width=\"350\" height=\"219\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin makes out with her hand. Nice knowing ya, Pinky Ring. Enjoy watching paint dry for the rest of your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin gets all dolled up, puts on a top hat and gallops up to Ross, who is laboring with not only a shirt on, but a vest too. Backstabber Cousin says Ross' dad wouldn't want him working in the muck like that. Ross tries not to murder him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But maybe he will because they end up venturing into a dilapidated mine together. Backstabber Cousin brings up how Ross should probably leave town, but not before attending his wedding. He then proceeds to go into detail about how one thing led to another with Pinky Ring, prompting Ross to yell MUST YOU RUB MY NOSE IN IT!!! so loudly that Backstabber Cousin falls into a very random, very deep puddle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He apparently can't swim and Ross is unbothered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"mindy kaling whatever loser the office gif\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a nice, luxurious pause, Ross eventually saves him and immediately disses him for not knowing how to swim. His cousin shares that he thought Ross was going to let him drown. Ross shares that he strongly considered it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two weeks later, Ross stands grumpy and in all of his FML glory in the back of a church as Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring say \"I do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the after party, up-to-something former classmate and his uncle are loudly talking sh*t about how the Poldarks are impoverished losers. Ross doesn't have time for it and walks away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3vzjp6qrQ1qlgh5qo1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35966\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3vzjp6qrQ1qlgh5qo1_250.gif\" alt=\"britney whatever stronger gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"131\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Former classmate, whose name is George but deserves to be called Malfoy, follows Ross into a room and continues the Cornwall tradition of saying triggering things. \u003cem>Nice scar! How did you get it? Oh, and sorry that your dad is so dead! Oh, and LOL about you being at your ex's wedding. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Daisy: The Prequel interrupts and escorts Ross past a cock fight (naturally) and into a room where Pinky Ring is waiting to complain about how he never came to see her. Girl, are you serious? Apparently, she is because she goes on to make excuses for why he's currently dying inside at his cousin's wedding. And she wants him to commit to being her friend. Nooooope.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before things get any sloppier and more brutal, her mom waltzes in and says, \u003cem>Ooo, I'm telling Backstabber Cousin\u003c/em>, who promptly shows up and actually says, \"May I claim my bride, Ross?\" Ross is like, \u003cem>By all means\u003c/em>, and hums Kanye's \"Gold Digger\" some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the old lady who sometimes hangs out with Daisy: The Prequel is being really hipster and reading tarot cards. Prognosis: All is fair in love and war (i.e. sorry, Ross). Across town, Ross is getting plastered and throws his pinky ring. Be gone, wack accessory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross' uncle shows up to kick him while he's down. He reminds him of the state of things:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Estate: In Debt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Servants: Wastrels.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mines: Derelict.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Land: Barren.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Father: Dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And suggests Ross move his hot bod far, far away from Pinky Ring. He'll even finance the move. You know you're boring and ugly when your dad has to pay cooler, better looking people to scram.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day is a market day, which means that all the horrible, dirty people of Cornwall gather in one place to sell things, buy things and convince anyone living in 2016 that there's nothing about the 18th century worth being nostalgic for. No time machine needed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sells his dead dad's pocket watch and buys a cow. The village people (not to be confused with the fun '70s gay group) want to get the party started so they do what any awful 18th century person would do: throw a cute, shy puppy into a vicious dog fight. The cute, shy puppy's owner is like OH HELL NO and throws herself into the mix. The village people assault her because again everyone in this place and time is awful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross, the only decent person (other than Daisy: The Prequel and maybe the tarot-reading granny) steps in and is like \u003cem>Not on my watch! Uhhh, the metaphorical one, not the real one I just sold. Oh, you know what I mean!\u003c/em> A townie decides \u003cem>Hey, this is a great time to make a huge mistake\u003c/em> and gets in Ross' face. An amorphous \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> voice yells out FINISH HIM! and Ross abides by brutally smacking the townie right in the face with his walking stick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, inside a pub, where a completely different dog is sitting on a bench in front of beer like a real human drunk, Ross buys food for cute, shy puppy owner. Turns out her name is Demelza. She has six brothers and a father. They all are terrible bros and beat her every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Ross can even take that all in, Pinky Ring barges in to say she thinks Ross did the right thing. He doesn't need your approval! Go find your boring husband! Oh, but she doesn't have to bother finding him because Backstabber Cousin pops in to make sure his wife isn't having sex with his hot cousin. And because this parade of a-holes isn't robust enough, Malfoy shows up to talk some smack and then plot with his uncle in the next room. He uses the word 'impecunious' to make sure we all know he got a very admirable score on his SAT verbal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza share a horse on the way home because the HOV lane is always faster. She's singing under her breath, probably something from the new Britney album, which is really quite good. As they're about to part ways, Ross thinks of her family of abusive bros and offers her a job as a kitchen maid. She's down if cute, shy puppy can come too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are pissed because they don't want to share their mac and cheese or whatever people ate back then. Ross tells them to chill out, while casually washing the lice out of Demelza's hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_noogenkh0F1qk08n1o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36233\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_noogenkh0F1qk08n1o1_500.gif\" alt=\"real housewives gross gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Pigpen makes Demelza feel welcome by threatening to beat her up. The list of people who deserve to die on this show is getting really long. It might be easier to make a list of people who \u003cem>don't\u003c/em> deserve to die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' uncle, the least subtle man alive, sends along a bunch of cash that says \u003cem>JUST MOVE ALREADY!!\u003c/em> and \u003cem>WHY COULDN'T YOU STAY DEAD?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross asks Demelza if the Pigpens are being nice. She's like \u003cem>We're in 18th century Cornwall, the most miserable place ever to exist, what do you think?\u003c/em> He recommends that she lean in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite Ross' No Dogs in the House rule (he's more of a cat person), Demelza sneaks cute, shy puppy inside and spoons him all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to his uncle's house to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-4773-1430938663-26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36234\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-4773-1430938663-26.gif\" alt=\"get off my jock gif bethenny\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle isn't home, but Pinky Ring is (ugh, this again). She tries to bait him into some emotional exchange, but he's not biting. She brings up how not everyone liked how he intervened to save Demelza from the crowd. And how not everyone will like how he is now employing her. And how she wishes they could be friends. Ross responds with exactly what's on my mind: \"Good God, Elizabeth.\" (Yeah, Pinky Ring has a name, believe it or not.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They bicker next to a harp. Did she not mean those things she said before he left for the war? She thought he was dead! Does she not still have the hots for him? She can't say because she's married! And round and round they go, just like your friend (everyone has this friend) who can't stop texting their ex and complains about all the drama, while secretly luxuriating in it all. Enough is enough, Ross and Pinky Ring. MOVE ON.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring eventually asks him to move away and leave her alone. Ross screams, \u003cem>Fine!\u003c/em> As he's riding off, drama addict Pinky Ring runs outside to ask if they can be friends. Make up your mind! Ross blasts Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together\" from his horse's speaker system and rides away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home and tells Mrs. Pigpen that he's moving to London because everyone in Cornwall sucks. She's like \u003cem>Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet! Demelza's sucky family is here. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's dad and two of his friends are ready to throw down. They don't care if their teeth get knocked out because they're already black with decay and falling out anyway. And thanks to the Bro Signal they sent up into the sky earlier, more mouth breathers are on their way to murder Ross. Bros hunt in packs, after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Intense violins play as Demelza's dad and co. head-butt and uppercut Ross all over the place for several minutes. They even stomp on his beautiful head! Not the money-maker! Outside, Mr. Pigpen and the tenants battle a mob of bros. Someone gets kicked in the nuts so hard that there will be no heirs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/775051320914874368\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Pigpen runs to Ross' uncle's house, yelling \"They be killin' Mr. Ross!!\" Pinky Ring wants Backstabber Cousin to go help, but he knows he'll just get a deadly wedgie or get his head flushed so he stays put with a look of fake concern on his face. Uncle says Mrs. Pigpen is exaggerating and slams the door on her, hoping Ross dies for real this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite all the skull stomping, Ross gets a second wind and beats up Demelza's dad. Ross and the bros eventually come to a truce and Ross celebrates being alive and finally having some alone time by guzzling wine (18th century hotties! They're just like us!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is kicking back with a good book 'cause that's what people do when the love of their life is in the process of being murdered. She overhears Backstabber Cousin and Uncle talking about the plan to get Ross to move away. You are who you hang out with, Pinky Ring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, Ross meets up with the tenants and Mr. Pigpen, who are on a high after an afternoon of nut-cracking (see tweet above). They vow to always have his back. *adds these dudes to my People Who Don't Deserve to Die list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Uncle's house, Backstabber Cousin almost dies from being dissed really hard by his own father:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"I don't like it, father.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"You'd like it less if you lost your wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Assuming I can't keep her myself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Can you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36370\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"shade gif\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross finds Demelza roaming the moors and is in the process of bringing her home, when Pinky Ring rides up on a white horse. This leave-me-alone-no-wait-pay-attention-to-me cycle is getting very tired. Pinky Ring declares that she's changed her mind about that whole \u003cem>Move away and leave me alone forever!\u003c/em> thing and now wants Ross to stay in Cornwall. Judging by the look on Demelza's face, I'm not the only one wondering: \"Is she serious?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36371\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"poldark demelza\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-400x220.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-768x423.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-1440x793.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-1180x650.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-960x529.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross promises to stick around so they can keep doing this sexy love-hate thing for at least seven more episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Basically Everyone in Cornwall: \u003c/strong>From evil former classmates to Ross' uncle to Demelza's dad to everyone who showed up for Market Day, it was a team effort to secure the title for Most Deplorable this week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Cute, Shy Puppy: \u003c/strong>He's a pacifist and likes to be the little spoon. Also, he's cute and shy. What's not to love?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>The Old Lady with the Tarot Cards:\u003c/strong> She's a pioneer of hipster hobbies so we must pay credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Daisy: The Prequel: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Any ancestor of Daisy's is a friend of mine. Plus, she is chill, likes to talk smack when it's deserved, and seems to generally disdain everyone in Cornwall.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Ross\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> I mean, was it even a question? He survived the war, survived a brutal beating, survived being surrounded by a-holes, with nary a hair out of place. May his skull never be stomped upon again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Did the end of 'Downton Abbey' leave a void in your spirit? 'Poldark' is here to fill it.",
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"description": "Did the end of 'Downton Abbey' leave a void in your spirit? 'Poldark' is here to fill it.",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey recaps\u003c/a> of yore. Since that show wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports. So I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with a show called Poldark that a bunch of you are supposedly crazy about. I have to be honest, I was skeptical at first. But my doubt was no match for \u003ca href=\"http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5383476.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/Poldark-star-Aidan-Turner-getting-the-brush-off-from-a-crew-member.jpg\">this photo\u003c/a> so here I am, recapping season 1, in anticipation of the imminent second season. I hope you'll join me. Let's do this...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The series starts with a shot of leaves. No dog butt, no bell tolling, no slowly falling rose petal, no feather duster flirting with a chandelier. It's only been 3 seconds, but watching \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> already feels like dating too soon after a breakup. You just can't help comparing the new person to your ex. But I will push through because \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> and I are never ever getting back together (unless those film spin-off rumors end up being true).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, leaves. A bunch of British soldiers are kicking it in the woods of Virginia in 1781. The hottest one is named Ross Poldark. He's gambling because killing people can get boring after a while. His friend wants Ross to bet his pinky ring. Ross refuses because he's mad his friend brought up the fact that he's wearing a pinky ring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some killjoy emerges to complain about Ross' gambling ways and his lack of excitement about the war. Ross laughs because that's what he does to nerds. Apparently, Ross is only here because he was avoiding punishment for a laundry list of bad boy activities, mainly punching people in the face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Killjoy continues complaining... until he gets shot! The gang of Britain-haters hiding in the bushes apparently don't like nerds either. Everyone freaks out and Ross grabs a gun and yells at his friend, \"Do you want to leave here or die here?!?\" Um, leave, most likely? Because Ross was preoccupied with asking useless rhetorical questions, one of the attackers gets the chance to knock him out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Flashback to some girl who's running along a cliff back home. We'll call her Pinky Ring. She giggles because this is her first relationship and she has no idea how wack long-distance relationships are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in America, Ross is unconscious, surrounded by dead people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two years later in Cornwall (okay, we're not wasting any time here!), Ross is napping in a horse-drawn coach, while strangers talk sh*t about him very loudly. \u003cem>He was declared dead and yet here he is, wearing that pinky ring as ever. Better off dead, if you ask me, because his family's credit score sucks. Also, his dad is totally dead.\u003c/em> Ross stops pretending to be asleep and is like \u003cem>Wait, what?!\u003c/em> The rude gossipers are like \u003cem>Oops, didn't realize you could hear us! Our b! And yeah, your dad is totally dead.\u003c/em> Kill them, Ross. You're a war hero. No one will mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the strangers asks how the war was. Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/latrice-really-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33552\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/latrice-really-gif.gif\" alt=\"latrice really gif\" width=\"494\" height=\"266\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a list of things not to ask people who barely survived a war, this ranks somewhere in the neighborhood of \u003cem>How many friends did you have to watch die?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross asks to be let out because wouldn't you? All the rude strangers remind him that his house is further down. And Ross reminds them that his father is apparently super dead and won't be there. The strangers think to themselves, \u003cem>If we stay very, very still, maybe he will forget we're here?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/homer-simpson-bush-gif.gif\" alt=\"homer-simpson-bush-gif\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches them and walks to what looks like the edge of the Earth. The sky mingles with the mist of crashing waves and it's a damn shame Instagram will take another 240 years to be invented because Ross would get soooo many likes for this vista.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our favorite bad boy gets over his could've-been social media fame and makes his way over to his uncle's mansion. Inside, everyone is basically having a seated rave. Dead Ross and his dead daddy who? No one is the least bit bothered. Least of all, Pinky Ring, who is kicking it with a new dude, who tells her he likes her just the way she is. Nice try, buddy, but Colin Firth \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZu2JfM2Aq8\">already used that line\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The door opens and a girl who is too much like Daisy from \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> not to be her great great grandmother or something gets excited. Her dad tells her she shouldn't even dream about gentlemen callers. She will instead pour him his wine and serve him his weird British food forevermore cause the patriarchy is strong and she won't have any rights for... well, the rest of her life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The visitor turns out to be none other than Ross, back from the dead! Only Daisy's great great grandmother and Pinky Ring's new man, who turns out to be Ross' cousin (et tu, Brute?), get up to greet a man everyone thought they'd never see again. That's cool, everyone; stay seated. This isn't a miracle or anything.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Girlfriend-stealing cousin tells Ross that he and Pinky Ring were very worried about him. Mmhmmm, suuuure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puppy-in-love Ross doesn't sniff out all the weirdness and instead thinks: \u003cem>Pinky Ring! You're here! Yay! What a coinkidink! I'm so excited to make out with you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before he gets the chance, Pinky Ring's mom takes a page out of the stage-coach strangers' book of zero manners. \"Do tell us how we managed to lose the war.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/murder-she-wrote-wtf-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33554\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/murder-she-wrote-wtf-gif.gif\" alt=\"murder she wrote wtf gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"170\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross brushes her rude prompt off 'cause, after years upon years abroad, he's gonna get some tonight! Not so fast, says everyone. \u003cem>Pinky Ring is marrying your cousin! Isn't that exciting?!\u003c/em> Ross' entire FML demeanor seems to suggest: No, that is not exciting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' uncle adds to the despair 'cause why not: \u003cem>P.S. Your dad left you basically nothing and Cornwall is poorer than ever. Welcome home, I guess!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross decides these people are gross and that he wants to be alone (#introvertsgonnaintrovert). But before he goes, he proposes a toast to the happy couple that ruined his life and didn't even apologize for it. Everyone feels first-day-of-school-after-a-summer-of-puberty awkward.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-33553\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/08/britney-awkward-gif.gif\" alt=\"britney awkward gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross passes several Instagram opportunities on his way to his father's house. When he gets there, everything is in ruin. Rats and hens are running things now. Ross walks upstairs to find two snoring lumps in his dad's bed. He considers setting them on fire because it's just one of them days, but he opts for throwing a pail of cold water on them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're his father's good-for-nothing servants (picture any person you've ever seen on \u003cem>Hoarders\u003c/em> and multiply that person by two). Ross accuses them of starting the rumor that he was dead and threatens to hit them with the side of his foot. Go off, Ross! You've earned a good freak out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the uncle's house, Backstabber Cousin, some old lady and Daisy: The Prequel talk about how the Pinky Ring wedding should probably be moved up. \u003cem>Did y'all see Ross' curls?? I didn't remember them being so bouncy! Yeah, you need to lock that girl down before she realizes you're a 4 to Ross' 10.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to visit some of his buddies/tenants. Because this entire part of the country has no idea how to small talk without saying triggering things, someone asks Ross how the war was. HOW DO YOU THINK IT WAS, A-HOLE?! Another asks, What happened out there? SIGH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the region, Pinky Ring is sitting on a bench thinking\u003cem> I forgot just how bouncy Ross' curls are! \u003c/em>She hears the distant sound of hoofs and gets butterflies in her stomach.\u003cem> OMG, here's the part where he asks me to run away with him and I say I can't but almost kiss him anyway and then lead him on for months and months and months before settling for his cousin after all! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A servant comes and announces Poldark. Pinky Ring turns and -- boom! -- it's his cousin because THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME, which really drives the point home that what she's doing is really gross. There were no other men around who flaked on the war?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, a lawyer reminds Ross for the 324th time that he's broke.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a manor, a former classmate and his bewigged uncle talk about manipulating Ross to their advantage. Geez, no wonder Ben Franklin and co. seceded. Everyone in England is apparently awful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Pinky Ring's house, Pinky Ring picks up her skirts and gets ready to run to wherever Ross is because Backstabber Cousin just isn't cute enough, his title be damned. Pinky Ring's mother pops out of a bush just in time to catch her and say, \u003cem>Actually, his title be NOT damned\u003c/em>. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Moooooom\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Ross gallops upon his lazy servants who look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35943\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d.jpg\" alt=\"a23abb12a709450e5a07af2859079d8d\" width=\"219\" height=\"329\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He tells Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen that they're actually going to have to help him turn things around if they don't want to die of starvation. They're like, \u003cem>Mooooooom\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Up gallops, Daisy: The Prequel, who is like \u003cem>Girl, let's dish!\u003c/em> Ross is like,\u003cem> I'm kind of busy thinking of how I can climb out of poverty, but ok, sure. \u003c/em>D.T.P. calls out how weird it was for Pinky Ring to all of a sudden pounce on Backstabber Cousin (his name is apparently Francis and I'll maybe consider using it after I stop being pissed at him). Ross thinks she's in it for the cash and proceeds to sing selections from Kanye West's \"Gold Digger.\" Daisy informs Ross that their wedding is in two weeks, tosses him a \"sorry, bro\" and one of these: \u003cspan style=\"font-size: 22px;font-weight: bold;line-height: 1.09091\">¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross moves heavy rocks around and uses a hammer very aggressively. His shirt stays on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Backstabber Cousin sneaks up on Pinky Ring, who seems to be perpetually on a stroll in her backyard. He gives a sad little speech that boils down to: \u003cem>Hey, girl. I know I'm boring and not cute and understand if you want to call this off to be with my interesting and very cute cousin. Is there something you wish to tell me?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/THISGONBGUD.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35948\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/THISGONBGUD.gif\" alt=\"THISGONBGUD\" width=\"350\" height=\"191\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Go ahead, Pinky Ring! Say it! Say you hope you can still be friends and how it's not him, it's you and give him a Post-It that has \u003ca href=\"https://offmydottyrocker.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/img_6878.jpg?w=560&h=400&crop=1\">I Can't, I'm Sorry, Don't Hate Me \u003c/a>scribbled on it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3eu9epuZO1smcbm7o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35949\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3eu9epuZO1smcbm7o1_400.gif\" alt=\"go on gif\" width=\"300\" height=\"161\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I wish to tell you...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35950\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1.gif\" alt=\"i dream genie gif popcorn\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...that I cannot wait to be your wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35951\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"aaa-spill-popcorn-mean-girls\" width=\"350\" height=\"219\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin makes out with her hand. Nice knowing ya, Pinky Ring. Enjoy watching paint dry for the rest of your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin gets all dolled up, puts on a top hat and gallops up to Ross, who is laboring with not only a shirt on, but a vest too. Backstabber Cousin says Ross' dad wouldn't want him working in the muck like that. Ross tries not to murder him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But maybe he will because they end up venturing into a dilapidated mine together. Backstabber Cousin brings up how Ross should probably leave town, but not before attending his wedding. He then proceeds to go into detail about how one thing led to another with Pinky Ring, prompting Ross to yell MUST YOU RUB MY NOSE IN IT!!! so loudly that Backstabber Cousin falls into a very random, very deep puddle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He apparently can't swim and Ross is unbothered.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"mindy kaling whatever loser the office gif\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After a nice, luxurious pause, Ross eventually saves him and immediately disses him for not knowing how to swim. His cousin shares that he thought Ross was going to let him drown. Ross shares that he strongly considered it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Two weeks later, Ross stands grumpy and in all of his FML glory in the back of a church as Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring say \"I do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the after party, up-to-something former classmate and his uncle are loudly talking sh*t about how the Poldarks are impoverished losers. Ross doesn't have time for it and walks away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3vzjp6qrQ1qlgh5qo1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35966\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3vzjp6qrQ1qlgh5qo1_250.gif\" alt=\"britney whatever stronger gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"131\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Former classmate, whose name is George but deserves to be called Malfoy, follows Ross into a room and continues the Cornwall tradition of saying triggering things. \u003cem>Nice scar! How did you get it? Oh, and sorry that your dad is so dead! Oh, and LOL about you being at your ex's wedding. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Daisy: The Prequel interrupts and escorts Ross past a cock fight (naturally) and into a room where Pinky Ring is waiting to complain about how he never came to see her. Girl, are you serious? Apparently, she is because she goes on to make excuses for why he's currently dying inside at his cousin's wedding. And she wants him to commit to being her friend. Nooooope.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before things get any sloppier and more brutal, her mom waltzes in and says, \u003cem>Ooo, I'm telling Backstabber Cousin\u003c/em>, who promptly shows up and actually says, \"May I claim my bride, Ross?\" Ross is like, \u003cem>By all means\u003c/em>, and hums Kanye's \"Gold Digger\" some more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the old lady who sometimes hangs out with Daisy: The Prequel is being really hipster and reading tarot cards. Prognosis: All is fair in love and war (i.e. sorry, Ross). Across town, Ross is getting plastered and throws his pinky ring. Be gone, wack accessory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross' uncle shows up to kick him while he's down. He reminds him of the state of things:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Estate: In Debt.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Servants: Wastrels.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Mines: Derelict.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Land: Barren.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Father: Dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And suggests Ross move his hot bod far, far away from Pinky Ring. He'll even finance the move. You know you're boring and ugly when your dad has to pay cooler, better looking people to scram.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day is a market day, which means that all the horrible, dirty people of Cornwall gather in one place to sell things, buy things and convince anyone living in 2016 that there's nothing about the 18th century worth being nostalgic for. No time machine needed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sells his dead dad's pocket watch and buys a cow. The village people (not to be confused with the fun '70s gay group) want to get the party started so they do what any awful 18th century person would do: throw a cute, shy puppy into a vicious dog fight. The cute, shy puppy's owner is like OH HELL NO and throws herself into the mix. The village people assault her because again everyone in this place and time is awful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross, the only decent person (other than Daisy: The Prequel and maybe the tarot-reading granny) steps in and is like \u003cem>Not on my watch! Uhhh, the metaphorical one, not the real one I just sold. Oh, you know what I mean!\u003c/em> A townie decides \u003cem>Hey, this is a great time to make a huge mistake\u003c/em> and gets in Ross' face. An amorphous \u003cem>Mortal Kombat\u003c/em> voice yells out FINISH HIM! and Ross abides by brutally smacking the townie right in the face with his walking stick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, inside a pub, where a completely different dog is sitting on a bench in front of beer like a real human drunk, Ross buys food for cute, shy puppy owner. Turns out her name is Demelza. She has six brothers and a father. They all are terrible bros and beat her every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Ross can even take that all in, Pinky Ring barges in to say she thinks Ross did the right thing. He doesn't need your approval! Go find your boring husband! Oh, but she doesn't have to bother finding him because Backstabber Cousin pops in to make sure his wife isn't having sex with his hot cousin. And because this parade of a-holes isn't robust enough, Malfoy shows up to talk some smack and then plot with his uncle in the next room. He uses the word 'impecunious' to make sure we all know he got a very admirable score on his SAT verbal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza share a horse on the way home because the HOV lane is always faster. She's singing under her breath, probably something from the new Britney album, which is really quite good. As they're about to part ways, Ross thinks of her family of abusive bros and offers her a job as a kitchen maid. She's down if cute, shy puppy can come too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are pissed because they don't want to share their mac and cheese or whatever people ate back then. Ross tells them to chill out, while casually washing the lice out of Demelza's hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_noogenkh0F1qk08n1o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36233\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_noogenkh0F1qk08n1o1_500.gif\" alt=\"real housewives gross gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Pigpen makes Demelza feel welcome by threatening to beat her up. The list of people who deserve to die on this show is getting really long. It might be easier to make a list of people who \u003cem>don't\u003c/em> deserve to die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' uncle, the least subtle man alive, sends along a bunch of cash that says \u003cem>JUST MOVE ALREADY!!\u003c/em> and \u003cem>WHY COULDN'T YOU STAY DEAD?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross asks Demelza if the Pigpens are being nice. She's like \u003cem>We're in 18th century Cornwall, the most miserable place ever to exist, what do you think?\u003c/em> He recommends that she lean in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite Ross' No Dogs in the House rule (he's more of a cat person), Demelza sneaks cute, shy puppy inside and spoons him all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to his uncle's house to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-4773-1430938663-26.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36234\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-4773-1430938663-26.gif\" alt=\"get off my jock gif bethenny\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle isn't home, but Pinky Ring is (ugh, this again). She tries to bait him into some emotional exchange, but he's not biting. She brings up how not everyone liked how he intervened to save Demelza from the crowd. And how not everyone will like how he is now employing her. And how she wishes they could be friends. Ross responds with exactly what's on my mind: \"Good God, Elizabeth.\" (Yeah, Pinky Ring has a name, believe it or not.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They bicker next to a harp. Did she not mean those things she said before he left for the war? She thought he was dead! Does she not still have the hots for him? She can't say because she's married! And round and round they go, just like your friend (everyone has this friend) who can't stop texting their ex and complains about all the drama, while secretly luxuriating in it all. Enough is enough, Ross and Pinky Ring. MOVE ON.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring eventually asks him to move away and leave her alone. Ross screams, \u003cem>Fine!\u003c/em> As he's riding off, drama addict Pinky Ring runs outside to ask if they can be friends. Make up your mind! Ross blasts Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together\" from his horse's speaker system and rides away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home and tells Mrs. Pigpen that he's moving to London because everyone in Cornwall sucks. She's like \u003cem>Oh, you haven't seen nothing yet! Demelza's sucky family is here. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's dad and two of his friends are ready to throw down. They don't care if their teeth get knocked out because they're already black with decay and falling out anyway. And thanks to the Bro Signal they sent up into the sky earlier, more mouth breathers are on their way to murder Ross. Bros hunt in packs, after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Intense violins play as Demelza's dad and co. head-butt and uppercut Ross all over the place for several minutes. They even stomp on his beautiful head! Not the money-maker! Outside, Mr. Pigpen and the tenants battle a mob of bros. Someone gets kicked in the nuts so hard that there will be no heirs.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Pigpen runs to Ross' uncle's house, yelling \"They be killin' Mr. Ross!!\" Pinky Ring wants Backstabber Cousin to go help, but he knows he'll just get a deadly wedgie or get his head flushed so he stays put with a look of fake concern on his face. Uncle says Mrs. Pigpen is exaggerating and slams the door on her, hoping Ross dies for real this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite all the skull stomping, Ross gets a second wind and beats up Demelza's dad. Ross and the bros eventually come to a truce and Ross celebrates being alive and finally having some alone time by guzzling wine (18th century hotties! They're just like us!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is kicking back with a good book 'cause that's what people do when the love of their life is in the process of being murdered. She overhears Backstabber Cousin and Uncle talking about the plan to get Ross to move away. You are who you hang out with, Pinky Ring.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, Ross meets up with the tenants and Mr. Pigpen, who are on a high after an afternoon of nut-cracking (see tweet above). They vow to always have his back. *adds these dudes to my People Who Don't Deserve to Die list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Uncle's house, Backstabber Cousin almost dies from being dissed really hard by his own father:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"I don't like it, father.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"You'd like it less if you lost your wife.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Assuming I can't keep her myself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Can you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36370\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"shade gif\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross finds Demelza roaming the moors and is in the process of bringing her home, when Pinky Ring rides up on a white horse. This leave-me-alone-no-wait-pay-attention-to-me cycle is getting very tired. Pinky Ring declares that she's changed her mind about that whole \u003cem>Move away and leave me alone forever!\u003c/em> thing and now wants Ross to stay in Cornwall. Judging by the look on Demelza's face, I'm not the only one wondering: \"Is she serious?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36371\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"poldark demelza\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-400x220.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-768x423.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-1440x793.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-1180x650.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM-960x529.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-1.00.45-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross promises to stick around so they can keep doing this sexy love-hate thing for at least seven more episodes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Basically Everyone in Cornwall: \u003c/strong>From evil former classmates to Ross' uncle to Demelza's dad to everyone who showed up for Market Day, it was a team effort to secure the title for Most Deplorable this week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Cute, Shy Puppy: \u003c/strong>He's a pacifist and likes to be the little spoon. Also, he's cute and shy. What's not to love?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>The Old Lady with the Tarot Cards:\u003c/strong> She's a pioneer of hipster hobbies so we must pay credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Daisy: The Prequel: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Any ancestor of Daisy's is a friend of mine. Plus, she is chill, likes to talk smack when it's deserved, and seems to generally disdain everyone in Cornwall.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Ross\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> I mean, was it even a question? He survived the war, survived a brutal beating, survived being surrounded by a-holes, with nary a hair out of place. May his skull never be stomped upon again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>In 2004, if there had been an unofficial Queen of Cultural Appropriation, there is no doubt (pun intended) that Gwen Stefani would have worn the crown. The singer had previously committed a multitude of \u003ca href=\"http://cdn1-www.thefashionspot.com/assets/uploads/gallery/gwen-stefani-birthday/52969824.jpg\">bindi-related\u003c/a> crimes when still fronting her band, but nothing she'd done previously came even close to what happened when she released her debut solo album, \u003cem>Love. Angel. Music. Baby.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truly, the entire promotional cycle for this thing largely revolved around using silent, smiling Japanese women as human accessories. The four women were given dehumanizing pet names -- Love, Angel, Music and Baby (unsurprisingly) -- and paraded around as dancing props who, quite often, were dressed up in outfits that overtly played into Japanese stereotypes, including ones about schoolgirls. Their likenesses were also turned into perfume bottles and a variety of other clothing accessories for Stefani's L.A.M.B. brand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you missed the horror show the first time around, hang onto your jaws and click play:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qecNL1266ms\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Vocal opposition to Stefani's cultural insensitivity was loud at the time -- Margaret Cho comparing the Harajuku girls to a Minstrel show was \u003ca href=\"http://margaretcho.com/2005/10/31/harajuku-girls/\">particularly memorable\u003c/a> -- and it hasn't ever really died down. In 2014, \u003cem>Time\u003c/em> reminded us that Stefani had \"\u003ca href=\"http://time.com/3524847/gwen-stefani-racist-harajuku-girls/\">perpetuated some extremely racist stereotypes\u003c/a>,\" and \u003cem>Vice\u003c/em> did a 10-year anniversary article to pointedly look back on Stefani's \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.vice.com/read/revisiting-gwen-stefanis-racist-pop-frankenstein-ten-years-later-567\">Racist Pop Frankenstein Years\u003c/a>.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Between that, plus the incident in 2012 when No Doubt had to apologize to Native Americans for the \"cowboys and Indians-themed\" video for \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40OSktBigHw\">\"Looking Hot\"\u003c/a> (which featured Stefani wearing traditional tribal clothing and DANCING IN A TEEPEE), you'd have thought the singer would have learned to question her own appropriation problems before making them yet again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Earlier this week, \u003ca href=\"http://www.nick.com/\">Nickelodeon\u003c/a> announced the Oct. 3 debut of \u003ca href=\"http://www.nick.com/kuu-kuu-harajuku/\">\u003cem>Kuu Kuu Harajuku\u003c/em>\u003c/a> -- a cartoon that revives Love, Angel, Music and Baby and puts them in a band (named HJ5) alongside a blond named \"G\" (guess who?). Stefani has said that the animated series is \"for young girls\" and \"celebrates creativity, imagination and individuality.\" Which sounds great until you see what the characters actually look like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-36792\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-09-13 at 10.04.12 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-960x536.png 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You might be wondering where the Japanese girls are here. It's hard not to. The school uniforms are still there. And one girl has hair sticks. But these \"Harajuku\" girls, with their long legs, tiny waists, big boots and oversized, made-up eyes, more closely resemble \u003ca href=\"http://www.toysrus.com/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-20937459enh-z6.jpg\">Bratz\u003c/a> dolls (a brand frequently criticized for marketing overly-sexualized female body ideals to tweens) than anything related to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harajuku\" target=\"_blank\">Harajuku culture.\u003c/a> It seems Stefani (or network executives) thought the best way to deal with the overt cultural appropriation was simply \"let's not have them be Asian anymore.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are Stefani fans who will undoubtedly argue that if she had gone with an animated band of obviously Asian characters, that too would have been culturally insensitive. They will say that Gwen is damned if she does, and damned if she doesn't. But there is a very obvious and simple way for Stefani to avoid any more racial and cultural shadiness here: Just remove the word \"Harajuku\" from the show. Problem solved!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOHAU13FfiI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gwen Stefani is a well-established enough artist to make a successful animated show about five girls forming a Spice Girls-style band and having adventures without chucking the word \"Harajuku\" into the title -- especially, seemingly, for the sake of clinging to a problematic theme that she already exhausted 12 years ago. Too late now, though: the show has already been on in Australia for almost a year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It might seem foolish to be upset about anything Gwen Stefani does at this point. Sure, this is \"only\" pop music and a children's TV show we're talking about. But to maintain a career this long, in the face of so much criticism, and to continue carelessly running amok with other nations' cultural, religious and traditional symbolism is truly astonishing at this point -- as is hanging onto the thinnest threads of stolen Harajuku girl culture to sell a very American cartoon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In November of last year, in an interview with Australia's \u003cem>Sunshine Coast Daily\u003c/em>, to promote \u003cem>Kuu Kuu Harajuku\u003c/em>, Stefani said: \"The Harajuku Girls can do anything, they can wear anything, and they can be anything.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anything, apparently, but inoffensive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In 2004, if there had been an unofficial Queen of Cultural Appropriation, there is no doubt (pun intended) that Gwen Stefani would have worn the crown. The singer had previously committed a multitude of \u003ca href=\"http://cdn1-www.thefashionspot.com/assets/uploads/gallery/gwen-stefani-birthday/52969824.jpg\">bindi-related\u003c/a> crimes when still fronting her band, but nothing she'd done previously came even close to what happened when she released her debut solo album, \u003cem>Love. Angel. Music. Baby.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truly, the entire promotional cycle for this thing largely revolved around using silent, smiling Japanese women as human accessories. The four women were given dehumanizing pet names -- Love, Angel, Music and Baby (unsurprisingly) -- and paraded around as dancing props who, quite often, were dressed up in outfits that overtly played into Japanese stereotypes, including ones about schoolgirls. Their likenesses were also turned into perfume bottles and a variety of other clothing accessories for Stefani's L.A.M.B. brand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you missed the horror show the first time around, hang onto your jaws and click play:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qecNL1266ms'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qecNL1266ms'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Vocal opposition to Stefani's cultural insensitivity was loud at the time -- Margaret Cho comparing the Harajuku girls to a Minstrel show was \u003ca href=\"http://margaretcho.com/2005/10/31/harajuku-girls/\">particularly memorable\u003c/a> -- and it hasn't ever really died down. In 2014, \u003cem>Time\u003c/em> reminded us that Stefani had \"\u003ca href=\"http://time.com/3524847/gwen-stefani-racist-harajuku-girls/\">perpetuated some extremely racist stereotypes\u003c/a>,\" and \u003cem>Vice\u003c/em> did a 10-year anniversary article to pointedly look back on Stefani's \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.vice.com/read/revisiting-gwen-stefanis-racist-pop-frankenstein-ten-years-later-567\">Racist Pop Frankenstein Years\u003c/a>.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Between that, plus the incident in 2012 when No Doubt had to apologize to Native Americans for the \"cowboys and Indians-themed\" video for \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40OSktBigHw\">\"Looking Hot\"\u003c/a> (which featured Stefani wearing traditional tribal clothing and DANCING IN A TEEPEE), you'd have thought the singer would have learned to question her own appropriation problems before making them yet again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Earlier this week, \u003ca href=\"http://www.nick.com/\">Nickelodeon\u003c/a> announced the Oct. 3 debut of \u003ca href=\"http://www.nick.com/kuu-kuu-harajuku/\">\u003cem>Kuu Kuu Harajuku\u003c/em>\u003c/a> -- a cartoon that revives Love, Angel, Music and Baby and puts them in a band (named HJ5) alongside a blond named \"G\" (guess who?). Stefani has said that the animated series is \"for young girls\" and \"celebrates creativity, imagination and individuality.\" Which sounds great until you see what the characters actually look like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-36792\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-800x446.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-09-13 at 10.04.12 PM\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1920x1071.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-1180x658.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-13-at-10.04.12-PM-960x536.png 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You might be wondering where the Japanese girls are here. It's hard not to. The school uniforms are still there. And one girl has hair sticks. But these \"Harajuku\" girls, with their long legs, tiny waists, big boots and oversized, made-up eyes, more closely resemble \u003ca href=\"http://www.toysrus.com/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-20937459enh-z6.jpg\">Bratz\u003c/a> dolls (a brand frequently criticized for marketing overly-sexualized female body ideals to tweens) than anything related to \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harajuku\" target=\"_blank\">Harajuku culture.\u003c/a> It seems Stefani (or network executives) thought the best way to deal with the overt cultural appropriation was simply \"let's not have them be Asian anymore.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are Stefani fans who will undoubtedly argue that if she had gone with an animated band of obviously Asian characters, that too would have been culturally insensitive. They will say that Gwen is damned if she does, and damned if she doesn't. But there is a very obvious and simple way for Stefani to avoid any more racial and cultural shadiness here: Just remove the word \"Harajuku\" from the show. Problem solved!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/uOHAU13FfiI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/uOHAU13FfiI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Gwen Stefani is a well-established enough artist to make a successful animated show about five girls forming a Spice Girls-style band and having adventures without chucking the word \"Harajuku\" into the title -- especially, seemingly, for the sake of clinging to a problematic theme that she already exhausted 12 years ago. Too late now, though: the show has already been on in Australia for almost a year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It might seem foolish to be upset about anything Gwen Stefani does at this point. Sure, this is \"only\" pop music and a children's TV show we're talking about. But to maintain a career this long, in the face of so much criticism, and to continue carelessly running amok with other nations' cultural, religious and traditional symbolism is truly astonishing at this point -- as is hanging onto the thinnest threads of stolen Harajuku girl culture to sell a very American cartoon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In November of last year, in an interview with Australia's \u003cem>Sunshine Coast Daily\u003c/em>, to promote \u003cem>Kuu Kuu Harajuku\u003c/em>, Stefani said: \"The Harajuku Girls can do anything, they can wear anything, and they can be anything.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anything, apparently, but inoffensive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>It's true: We here at KQED Pop are unabashed suckers for \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/07/21/heres-michelle-obama-and-missy-elliott-doing-carpool-karaoke-with-james-corden/\" target=\"_blank\">all things First Lady\u003c/a>. Can you blame us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over the course of her nearly eight years in the White House, Michelle Obama has seen favorable comparisons to Jackie Kennedy thanks to her grace and fashion prowess. But that nod (while flattering) does little to describe Ms. Obama's down-to-earth charm -- both her relatability, and the immediate understanding, upon listening to her speak, that she does not suffer fools lightly. No matter what happens in the upcoming presidential election, it's safe to say we're never going to have another First Spouse like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With that preamble, we hereby give you Ellen DeGeneres and Michelle Obama terrorizing a CVS. It's a clip from a recent episode of the former's show, which the First Lady co-hosted. Highlights from their\u003cem> crrrazy\u003c/em> yet family-friendly antics include confusion at the Coinstar machine, \"Shelly\" trying to fend off a backscratcher-wielding Ellen with the comment \"I'm not itchy,\" and a rebellious distribution of plastic cups for a mid-shopping-trip boxed wine break.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's leave it at this: We have several convenient CVS locations here in the Bay Area, Michelle. Hope to see you soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ihOXaU0I8o\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It's true: We here at KQED Pop are unabashed suckers for \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/07/21/heres-michelle-obama-and-missy-elliott-doing-carpool-karaoke-with-james-corden/\" target=\"_blank\">all things First Lady\u003c/a>. Can you blame us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over the course of her nearly eight years in the White House, Michelle Obama has seen favorable comparisons to Jackie Kennedy thanks to her grace and fashion prowess. But that nod (while flattering) does little to describe Ms. Obama's down-to-earth charm -- both her relatability, and the immediate understanding, upon listening to her speak, that she does not suffer fools lightly. No matter what happens in the upcoming presidential election, it's safe to say we're never going to have another First Spouse like her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>With that preamble, we hereby give you Ellen DeGeneres and Michelle Obama terrorizing a CVS. It's a clip from a recent episode of the former's show, which the First Lady co-hosted. Highlights from their\u003cem> crrrazy\u003c/em> yet family-friendly antics include confusion at the Coinstar machine, \"Shelly\" trying to fend off a backscratcher-wielding Ellen with the comment \"I'm not itchy,\" and a rebellious distribution of plastic cups for a mid-shopping-trip boxed wine break.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Let's leave it at this: We have several convenient CVS locations here in the Bay Area, Michelle. Hope to see you soon.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/2ihOXaU0I8o'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/2ihOXaU0I8o'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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