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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey recaps\u003c/a> of yore. Since that show wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports. So I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with a show called Poldark that a bunch of you are supposedly crazy about. I have to be honest, I was skeptical at first. But my doubt was no match for \u003ca href=\"http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5383476.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/Poldark-star-Aidan-Turner-getting-the-brush-off-from-a-crew-member.jpg\">this photo\u003c/a>, so here I am. I hope you'll join me. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my Season 1 recaps\u003c/a>. 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Let's do this...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dramatic music, dramatic waves, dramatic cliffs, dramatic drone footage, all lead us to the edge of the world where Ross is being led to prison by a bunch of snappily-dressed soldiers. They take him to a tribunal, where a judge reads Ross' alleged crimes aloud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #1:\u003c/strong> Leading a blood-thirsty mob to pillage a shipwreck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Well...technically, they weren't thirsty for blood, they were thirsty for \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/22/why-is-everyone-so-obsessed-with-lacroix-and-mercury-in-retrograde/\">LaCroix\u003c/a> (who isn't, amirite?) and, you know, food to eat. But not blood, no. Next!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #2:\u003c/strong> Encouraging a riot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> I mean, what is a riot, really? All these people were doing was stealing tons of expensive cargo and murdering rich people. If that's wrong, then I don't want to be right. Got anything else?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #3:\u003c/strong> Killing that jerk who cheated at cards and tried to steal your entire inheritance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> OMG, I WISH!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judges chat amongst themselves and decide they have had...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/drag-race-ive-had-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38616\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/drag-race-ive-had-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"drag race i've had it gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They tell Ross he is going on trial for his criminal good looks and his criminal behavior too. This is all very concerning and all, but can we pause for a second to process the fact that Aidan Turner (Ross) got a haircut? Have we learned nothing from when Keri Russell cut off all her curly locks in the beginning of the second season of \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em> and everyone lost their damn minds and stopped watching the show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anywho, Demelza is at home, inventing the FML acronym. Her baby is dead, but her cute little bed is still right there. Her husband is in prison, where people get gangrene and typhus and homesick. It's too bad that LiveJournal hasn't been created yet, because Demelza has earned the right to write some terrible, teen-angsty poetry right about now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Demelza has a chance to think of something that rhymes with siiiiiiiigh, Ross walks through the door! He's on parole! But he's probably going to be sentenced to prison in five days. Demelza thinks, \u003cem>Ugh, I bet \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/22/why-is-everyone-so-obsessed-with-lacroix-and-mercury-in-retrograde/\">Mercury is in retrograde\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is pretending to be outraged over the charges, as if he didn't spend the entirety of Season 1 sabotaging Ross and wanting him to die in a stampede or avalanche or tsunami. Not buying it, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Ross looks off into the distance and proclaims, \"A storm is coming.\" What can I say? Subtlety is not this show's strong suit. But there's shirtless scything so who cares?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza talks to Ross about their dead baby and the trial. Ross is in denial about both and says, \u003cem>You know what would be fun right now? Mining!\u003c/em> So they run off to their mine and the miners feel awkward, partly because their boss won't admit he's probably going to jail, but mostly because he cut his hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy is meeting with a lawyer. He wants Ross tried for murder because Ross doesn't want to be friends. Even his evil uncle is like, \u003cem>Really, dude?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a poor part of town, Mrs. Pigpen (Ross' former servant) is doing her laundry in a dirty puddle, as one in the 18th century does. Two men from the prosecution try to get her to sell out Ross. She's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38850\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif\" alt=\"no drag race gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a rich part of town, Pinky Ring (Ross' ex, now cousin-in-law) is unaccompanied (*gasp*). But no worries, evil Malfoy shows up to escort and salivate all over her. She's like, \u003cem>Ew, can you not? This is suede. Also, can you do me a solid and stop trying to get Ross thrown in jail? \u003c/em>Malfoy responds, \u003cem>So if I do that, will you be open to me then using this act of kindness to coerce you into making out with me whenever I want? And do you think Ross will finally want to hang out with me?\u003c/em> Pinky Ring is like, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ \u003cem>yeah, sure\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets with Suze Orman's ancestor, who is appalled at the state of Ross' finances. Because he spent all of season 1 hiring people, he now has no money and will leave Demelza with a mountain of debt. Ross doesn't have much to say for himself, other than: \u003cem>My bad!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Pinky Ring writes Demelza a letter: \u003cem>Sorry about giving you the strep throat that killed your baby. And sorry about my husband ruining your husband. Wanna come over?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in town, some rich dude and a blonde woman pass Ross. Blondie is like, \u003cem>Yum! Who is that?!\u003c/em> Rich Dude is like, \u003cem>Just some nobody\u003c/em>. Ross catches Blondie doing a double take and thinks,\u003cem> I may be bankrupt and my hairs might be short, but I still got it!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But more important than all that is Blondie's travel companion, a cute little pug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38866\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-1440x806.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark.jpg 1676w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38865\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-800x444.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark-2\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-800x444.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-400x222.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-768x426.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1440x798.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1180x654.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2.jpg 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38864\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark-3\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-1440x807.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His name is Horace! I'm in love!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, Horace's mom, Blondie, is in Cornwall to visit her uncle. The rich dude she's with is running for a seat in Parliament and wants to marry her. She's just not that into him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Mr. Pigpen is passed out drunk (his default setting). The two dudes from prosecution try to bribe him with booze in exchange for testimony against Ross. And Mr. Pigpen is about to give it to them... until Mrs. Pigpen swoops in to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michelle-visage-drag-race-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38868\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michelle-visage-drag-race-gif.gif\" alt=\"no michelle visage drag race gif\" width=\"540\" height=\"304\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross and Demelza agree to accept Pinky Ring's invitation and regret it immediately. Malfoy is there, doing his creepy I'll-help-you-in-exchange-for-bestie-status-and-make-outs-with-Pinky-Ring thing. Ross does not have time for this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38869\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif\" alt=\"viola davis purse leaving gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Tarot Card Agatha is in the corner living for every moment, snacking on popcorn:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38977\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-800x445.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-agatha-popcorn\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-800x445.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-400x223.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-768x427.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1440x801.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1180x657.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-960x534.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he gets home, Ross calls Malfoy an \"upstart poodle.\" He says some other stuff too, but I couldn't hear over my laughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Upstart Poodle is proofreading a pamphlet he's having printed. It's the page from his Burn Book dedicated to Ross. It basically says this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/burn-book-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38870\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/burn-book-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"burn book mean girls gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is out for a walk and stops in on Blondie's uncle. You see, this guy apparently knows the judge who will preside over Ross' trial. She pretends to have gotten queasy as she was walking. You can take the girl out of the street, but you can't take the street smarts out of the girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the mine, Ross takes out all his aggression by hammering a rock really hard without a shirt on. This is a thank you from the show's producers to all the straight woman and gay men watching. Keep the gratitude, coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Overlooking his closed mine, Backstabber Cousin whines like a baby about how he sucks at life and wishes he was Ross. Pinky Ring tries to say something reassuring, but is cut off by Backstabber Cousin storming off like the brat that he is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza sneakily gets into Blondie's uncle's favor. Parliament Wannabe and Blondie return home just in time to see Demelza leaving, and the former says she must be up to no good because she looks like a \"dangerous woman.\" If by that, he means that she is one of the best pop vocalists of her era, then yes, she is indeed a Dangerous Woman™:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38877\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande\" width=\"620\" height=\"620\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a heath somewhere, Ross runs into Backstabber Cousin and does that thing where you see an acquaintance on public transportation but really just wanna keep reading your book so you hide behind strangers or just get off and wait for the next bus or train. But unfortunately for Ross, there's nowhere to hide in a big open field and nowhere to go other than off the cliff, which does actually seem like a kinder fate than dealing with this loser. Anyway, that's a long-winded way of saying Ross still hates Backstabber Cousin for ruining his business, marrying his girlfriend and killing his newborn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy drops by and slobbers over her some more. He calls her ravishing and then realizes Tarot Card Agatha is still alive and sitting right there. He extends the compliment to her as well and, without missing a beat, Tarot Card Agatha calls him \"pasty-faced\" and says it's a \"consequence of sitting too long indoors fingering coin.\" MVP!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin walks in and whines about Ross not wanting to chit chat like old pals on the heath. Malfoy is like, \u003cem>Typical!\u003c/em> Pinky Ring sighs. Tarot Card Agatha thinks,\u003cem> I hate everyone in this room.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin shows everyone the page from Malfoy's Burn Book that's making the round and accuses Malfoy of having something to do with it, in the most polite, British way possible. Malfoy returns the favor by calling him bankrupt, in the most polite, British way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dirty side street, Mr. Pigpen is drunk as ever and cornered by the prosecutors. Mrs. Pigpen is not around to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michlle-visage-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38884\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michlle-visage-gif.gif\" alt=\"no michlle visage gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza is at the piano, playing the first single off of her new album \u003cem>Dangerous Woman\u003c/em>. Ross likes what he hears so much that he strips naked and they proceed to have sensual sex for a while (another thank you from the show's producers).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few miles away, now that he no longer has the money for a prostitute, Backstabber Cousin tries his hand at getting some from his wife. Pinky Ring is not having it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/14-01-Clueless-quotes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38885\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/14-01-Clueless-quotes.gif\" alt=\"ew get off me clueless as if gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blue Ball'd Backstabber Cousin looks up at a portrait of his dead father, whose disapproving face sends a clear message:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"tyra-rooting-for-you\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin announces he's going to Ross' trial. Pinky Ring wants to come, but Backstabber Cousin says \"court is no place for a woman.\" I'd like to see you tell that to these women:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-38886 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-800x531.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"531\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-800x531.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-768x510.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-1180x784.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-960x638.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is feeling emotional with the trial just around the corner and confesses to kind of being in love with Ross. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>SAME!\u003c/em> Finally they agree on something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a fancy coach, Horace the pug is redefining cuteness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38887\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-800x453.jpg\" alt=\"horace-4\" width=\"800\" height=\"453\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-800x453.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-400x226.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-768x435.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-1440x815.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-1180x668.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-960x543.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4.jpg 1673w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is arguing with her uncle over whether she has to be by Parliament Wannabe's side as he finds out if he's been voted into office or not. Blondie says she's going to stay in and eat jellies with Horace instead. Now here's someone with their priorities in order!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross arrives to court and finds Malfoy's Burn Book pages all over the place. He accepts his fate: a guest starring role in the next season of \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"orange-is-the-new-poldark\" width=\"386\" height=\"477\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local inn, Backstabber Cousin is complaining about there not being any rooms for him. Ross' doctor friend offers to share his room, but offers in that way you do when you want to be nice, but don't actually expect the person to take you up on it. Backstabber Cousin is all about making things awkward and being inappropriate, so get ready, roomie!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, as Doc is getting settled, there is an urgent call. Someone is gravely ill! Let it be Malfoy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is packing. Even though Ross forbade her from coming to the trial, she decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38896\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/BEYONCE-GIF-16-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38897\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/BEYONCE-GIF-16-1.gif\" alt=\"BEYONCE-GIF-16-1\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She hitches a ride with Verity (yay, the Queen is back!), who seems to be much happier now that she doesn't have to live with Backstabber Cousin and be reminded of how old everyone thinks 25 is every single day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc shows up to help the gravely ill person. It's sadly not Malfoy, it's HORACE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NOOOOOOO!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38889\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-800x447.jpg\" alt=\"horace-pug-5\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-1440x805.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5.jpg 1676w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's been having spasms. Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writer, kill off human babies if you must, but not Horace! Never Horace!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! Horace just needs to be carried less. This whole thing was simply a way for Doc to have a meet cute with Blondie. I can live with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets with his lawyer, who advises him to be apologetic. Ross being Ross says, \u003cem>HA HA HA! NO.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some ballroom, everyone is voting and talking about Malfoy's Burn Book. Backstabber Cousin shows up to confront Malfoy over it and say that, no matter how much money he acquires:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/CwMdBE5KXRpLExcXERkfABgAChxdBgwfSgMTWgobGhEXHRFMBxUYDBYNB1tXQkJTTEJTWwYbDBMVCxEWSwQbAw.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38899\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/CwMdBE5KXRpLExcXERkfABgAChxdBgwfSgMTWgobGhEXHRFMBxUYDBYNB1tXQkJTTEJTWwYbDBMVCxEWSwQbAw.gif\" alt=\"money can't buy you class gif countess\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's reply:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/rs_500x300-151117115948-giphy_4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/rs_500x300-151117115948-giphy_4.gif\" alt=\"shut up regina george mean girls gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hotel room, Verity tries to convince Demelza not to go out alone on some mysterious errand because the streets are full of drunkards, since it's Election Day. Demelza is like,\u003cem> I used to be homeless. I got this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately runs into her born again father, who brings up her dead baby and her soon-to-be-dead husband as evidence of her sins. Demelza responds by hugging him and saying:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/26704-god-is-not-real.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/26704-god-is-not-real.gif\" alt=\"god is not real beyonce gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the room, Verity is minding her own goddamn business when there's a knock at the door. It's Backstabber Cousin, who proceeds to barge in, chug all the booze that can be found, and say things like \"How does it feel to be married to a drunken brute?\" with zero self-awareness. And because this wouldn't be a Backstabber Cousin meltdown without some whining about Ross, he laments that Ross is so important that people publish Burn Books about him to get him hanged. \u003cem>What about me?? I want a Burn Book! I want to be hanged!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity does what Verity does best and serves up a hot helping of \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grlly.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grlly.gif\" alt=\"girl really gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza finally makes it to her destination, the ballroom where everyone is voting and where Blondie's uncle is hanging out. But not so fast! Malfoy, who seems to be everywhere at once, tells the guards Demelza is \"a harlot\" and shouldn't be let inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"Kristen-Wiig-pissed\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hotel, an employee lets Backstabber Cousin into Doc's room. The employee wonders if there's something gay going on: \"It's a small chamber, sir, and but a single bed!\" Backstabber Cousin assures him, \u003cem>I'm not planning on gay stuff, but I am planning on probably committing suicide. \u003c/em>The employee is like,\u003cem> Phew! Okay, bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross is chilling in his cell, awaiting trial. Malfoy shows up, as he always does. Someone get this villain a FitBit; he gets around! 10k steps before noon, easy. Anyway, Malfoy offers to help and Ross essentially says, \u003cem>Go F yourself. \u003c/em>Malfoy rejoices. Now he can tell Pinky Ring he tried to help, but was turned away, and she'll fall madly in love with him and have all the sex. Mmhm, keep telling yourself that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Pinky Ring, Tarot Card Agatha is -- what else -- pulling tarot cards! Justice, The Tower, Death. Before we can even guess what that all means, we are taken back to the hotel where Backstabber Cousin puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. I'll let you guess which person in this gif represents me:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"survivor smile shocked gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in prison, Ross finds out Mr. Pigpen intends to testify against him. Wow. I wonder if the old lady sees Mr. Pigpen being torn apart by wild dogs in her tarot reading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Demelza manages to sneak into the fancy ballroom and walks right up to Blondie, her uncle and Parliament Wannabe. Blondie is like, \u003cem>OMG, is your husband guilty?! What did he do? Let's dish, girlfriend!\u003c/em> Demelza is like, \u003cem>Ew.\u003c/em> A mob roars outside and Parliament Wannabe assumes they're \"clamoring\" for him. Hmm, clamoring to put your fancy head on a pike is more like it, but go ahead and check it out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the pub, everyone is talking about how badass French people are and how fun guillotines seem. They promise to start murdering rich people soon, but first they have to go to court to cheer on Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the fancy ballroom, Demelza's sweet talking only goes so far. Blondie's uncle just wants to drink his port and chill tonight, sorry. So she decides to talk to the judge herself. Uh oh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, the election results are being read. It's a tie! So the sensible thing to do is to recount or revote, right? Apparently not. The omnipresent Malfoy is there, whispering in Parliament Wannabe's ear to just sit in the winner's chair (a literal chair) and just act like he deserves it (you know, revel in his white male privilege). So he does. The crowd carries around his chair like he just got Jewish married. But unlike what usually happens at weddings, the crowd also starts throwing feces directly into his face! Dear Cornwall, never change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/alyssa-edwards-poop-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38985\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/alyssa-edwards-poop-gif.gif\" alt=\"alyssa edwards poop gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The feces instigator is thrown in the jail cell across from Ross. He speaks eloquently about civil rights... until a soldier knocks him unconscious with the butt of a rifle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the ballroom, Blondie is flirting a little too antagonistically for Doc's liking. She's offended that he's offended. Then he's offended that she's offended that he's offended. Cliff's Notes version: they will be married in two episodes or less.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, Demelza is saying all the right things to the judge. \u003cem>OMG, you hate drinking? Me too! What a coinkidink! So anywayyy, what would you say if I told you someone was trying to bribe people into giving false testimonies??\u003c/em> Before the judge can answer, Malfoy slithers up and outs Demelza as Ross' wife. The judge is appalled! Malfoy's heart shrinks another size.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judge and Malfoy walk approximately three feet away to discuss how important it is to make an example of Ross so that poor people know their place (this place does not involve feces-throwing or basic human rights). This experience is going to make for a killer single on Demelza's next album.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hotel, Ross' doctor friend is ready for bed, but his door is locked. The employee is like, \u003cem>Your maybe gay lover is in there.\u003c/em> Doc knocks, but there's no answer. The music swells and just as Doc is about to break down the door, Backstabber Cousin opens it, looking a hot mess. He's alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/unimpressed-whitney.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38948\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/unimpressed-whitney.gif\" alt=\"unimpressed whitney\" width=\"350\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin tells Doc all about how his gun malfunctioned. He sucks at life and so do his belongings. He then proceeds to ramble about how he's still planning on killing himself, but wants to have a drink beforehand. Doc spends this whole time thinking about how anyone else would have picked up that his offering his room was just a formality. It wasn't a real suggestion. What is wrong with this dude?! Doc just wants a good night's sleep. Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the ballroom, Demelza yells at Malfoy and calls him out for being a blacksmith's grandson. He calls her out for being a miner's daughter and, soon, a gentleman's widow. Yikes. Lord Voldemort would be proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/voldemort-hug-malfoy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38986\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/voldemort-hug-malfoy.gif\" alt=\"voldemort hug malfoy\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Backstabber Cousin is fiddling with his gun. Doc is lying on his bed, watching and feeling very awkward.Backstabber Cousin asks, \"Ask me, am I cleaning it to put away or do I intend to use it again?\" Doc is like, \u003cem>Ummm, are you cleaning it or do you intend to use it again?\u003c/em> Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>OMG, thanks for asking! I'm not sure. I might kill someone else or myself. Still deciding.\u003c/em> What does a boring lunatic have to do for some attention and validation around here?! Apparently, brag for hours about maybe or maybe not committing suicide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Malfoy and one of his Slytherin cronies are planning on stacking the courthouse with loud people who don't like Ross. Goodie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross and the Feces Thrower shoot the sh*t (pardon the pun; Carrie Bradshaw taught me). They hope they both get justice, but aren't too optimistic. And they shouldn't be because Feces Thrower is found guilty. The judge does not leave much to the imagination with his sentence: \"You are to be taken from hence to a place of execution, where you will be hanged from the neck... until you die.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38987\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif\" alt=\"your tone seems very pointed right now gif willam\" width=\"232\" height=\"232\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif 232w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 232px) 100vw, 232px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross enters the courtroom, almost everyone yells \"Murderer!\" and other fun things Malfoy paid them to say. Other people paid by Malfoy take the stand and say Ross kicked injured people and body slammed puppies, among other evil acts. Speaking of evil, Demelza's dad busts in to call Ross the Devil Incarnate. Cool story, bro; now off you go to the dentist to fix those black teeth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza starts hyperventilating and runs from the courtroom. Pinky Ring follows her out and blurts out, \"I came for Backstabber Cousin.\" Um, ok. She then says, \u003cem>Sorry I killed your baby with my germs. Is having a dead kid the worst?!\u003c/em> There's no real way to respond to that so Demelza blurts out, \u003cem>I'M PREGNANT!\u003c/em> That's nice if she is, but it would be awesome if she wasn't and she just uses that line to get out of awkward social situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside, Mr. Pigpen takes the stand and starts selling Ross out for a few coins. Everyone on #TeamRoss is disgusted. But then Mr. Pigpen changes his story either because his booze is wearing off or just kicking in (not sure what kind of drunk he is). His testimony is thrown out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The captain of the shipwreck, a reverse Sully if you will, takes the stand. He says the beach that night was like Dante's Inferno (oo, someone took AP English!) and adds that everyone really misbehaved. Ross speaks up and has a...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/destinys-child-question-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38956\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/destinys-child-question-gif.gif\" alt=\"destiny's child question gif\" width=\"535\" height=\"291\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes, \u003cem>Hey, Captain dude, remember when I protected you and your men and brought you to my house to keep you safe, even though I had just buried my baby and my wife was on her death bed?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Captain replies:\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38957\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif\" alt=\"Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah\" width=\"263\" height=\"263\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif 263w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 263px) 100vw, 263px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross looks at the judge and jury and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-told-you-so-stephen-colbert.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38958\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-told-you-so-stephen-colbert.gif\" alt=\"i told you so stephen colbert\" width=\"332\" height=\"352\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's Doc's turn to take the stand. He basically says, \u003cem>Hey, guys! I'm a doctor and I can say Ross was kind of nuts that night 'cause of his dead baby and maybe dead wife. Plus, all the drinking he was doing for like a week straight. And the not sleeping for days on end. So yeah, he didn't do it, but if he did, he was just temporarily a little cray cray. Thanks for your time. Bye! \u003c/em>Everyone on #TeamRoss wishes Doc had stayed home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The court takes a short recess and Slytherin Crony asks why Malfoy isn't giddier. Malfoy is like, \u003cem>I mean, it's cool that Ross is going to die for not wanting to be my friend, but I want his mine too. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-i-want-it-now.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38959\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-i-want-it-now.gif\" alt=\"veruca salt i want it now\" width=\"480\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Backstabber Cousin approaches Pinky Ring to remind her he forbade her from coming and let her know he's still an insanely jealous, insecure prick. Then he walks away from her, as she's asking him a question, just to make sure she didn't forget how awful he is. How long does it take to fix a malfunctioning gun? (Too soon?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The court regroups and Ross' lawyer tells him to either grovel or be hanged. So Ross gets ready to grit his teeth and apologize, until he doesn't. \u003cem>Hi, y'all. So yeah, there was kind of a riot and some people took things that didn't belong to them.... BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. ENGLAND'S CLASS SYSTEM IS BULLSHIT. SORRY NOT SORRY. I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN. I'M OUT!\u003c/em> Ross drops the mic and sits back down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' lawyer looks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/marcia-clark-crying.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38960\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/marcia-clark-crying.gif\" alt=\"marcia clark crying\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judge tells the jury,\u003cem> That was a cute speech and all, but he totally did it and I want you to convict him so I can hang him. K thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The jury takes approximately two whole minutes and comes back with their verdict. The defendant is....\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>.....\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>.........\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>..................\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NOT GUILTY!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>#TeamRoss loses their sh*t, as if Oprah just gave them all cars...or, um, new horse-drawn carriages or whatever:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-12.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38967\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-12.gif\" alt=\"giphy (12)\" width=\"575\" height=\"394\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah-audience.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38970\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah-audience.gif\" alt=\"oprah-audience\" width=\"431\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6yic0l.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38971\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6yic0l.gif\" alt=\"6yic0l\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o.gif\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38968\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o.gif\" alt=\"5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprahgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38973\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprahgif.gif\" alt=\"oprahgif\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/favoritethingsprayer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38974\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/favoritethingsprayer.gif\" alt=\"favoritethingsprayer\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/amypoehlerhead.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38969\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/amypoehlerhead.gif\" alt=\"amypoehlerhead\" width=\"320\" height=\"179\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Malfoy and his Slytherin Crony are all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah02.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38972\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah02.gif\" alt=\"oprah02\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swept up in all the hope fulfillment, Verity runs to her brother, Backstabber Cousin, and is like, \u003cem>Yayyyyyy! Also, let's not fight anymore, okay? Life is short and stuff.\u003c/em> Despite the wondrous optimism of the moment, Backstabber Cousin can't help but rain on the parade: \u003cem>Yeah, no. I still hate your husband for shooting me in the neck that one time.\u003c/em> Verity runs away crying. His magical power is inspiring that reaction in people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring walks up and has to pretend not to be elated about Ross not being hanged because it might send Backstabber Cousin into another one of his jealous tantrums. Just get a divorce! If it's good enough for Brangelina, it's good enough for you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza ride to the beach, where all their poor friends are having a chill bonfire. Everyone rejoices, violins and fiddles are played, the 18th century version of twerking occurs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Tarot Card Agatha shows Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring a card and proclaims, \"Not guilty!\" She should open up a stand or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy is busy doing this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38976\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\" alt=\"veruca-salt-willy-wonka\" width=\"500\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slytherin Crony is like, \u003cem>Um, so we tried to kill Ross and it didn't work. Aren't you scared that he's going to try to kill us now?\u003c/em> Malfoy is like, \u003cem>Oh sh*t.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza and Ross run into the Pigpens. Ross is still mad about the whole you-almost-got-me-killed-for-50-cents thing. But it seems as though he'll rehire them tomorrow because he just loves hiring people that much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a mansion across town, Malfoy locks and loads a pistol and puts it in his bedside table, as he should. Be afraid, be very afraid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza tells Ross she is perfectly happy... except that all that she wants is another baby, just as Ace of Base predicted. Ross says now is not a good time. Demelza realizes her strategy for revealing her pregnancy in a cute, fun way wasn't thought out so well, after all. They have sex anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Malfoy:\u003c/strong> He reached Scar-throwing-his-own-brother-to-his-death levels of evil here. It's only a matter of time before Ross uses the Avada Kedavra spell on him, and I will be watching next to Tarot Card Agatha with popcorn in my lap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's awesome that she tried to sneakily get Ross off the hook several times. If only she was actually any good at being sneaky.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Tarot Card Agatha\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> Everyone forgets she's still alive and/or assumes she's senile, but -- \u003cem>au contraire\u003c/em> -- she knows all, sees all, judges all. She's basically half Nostradamus, half insult comic. Keep on truckin', centenarian!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>He lives! Well, technically, he doesn't since this is set centuries ago, but you know what I mean. Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> If you don't agree with my awarding the number one spot to a dog, scroll back up and take in those photos of the beloved pug one more time. You'll understand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "The O.J. trial of the 18th century. Will our hero be hanged? Or will he live to scythe shirtless another day?",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Hi there! You might remember me from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">Downton Abbey recaps\u003c/a> of yore. Since that show wrapped, I've felt a void in my spirit that can only be filled by PBS-approved British imports. So I'm going to try falling in love again; this time, with a show called Poldark that a bunch of you are supposedly crazy about. I have to be honest, I was skeptical at first. But my doubt was no match for \u003ca href=\"http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5383476.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/Poldark-star-Aidan-Turner-getting-the-brush-off-from-a-crew-member.jpg\">this photo\u003c/a>, so here I am. I hope you'll join me. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my Season 1 recaps\u003c/a>. If you're too busy or impatient for all of that, here's the much-abbreviated gist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross Poldark fought in the American Revolutionary War on the British side. As we know, things didn't really work out. Presumed dead, his ex got with his lame cousin because there were apparently no other men around who flaked on the war. Ross returns alive and everyone is supremely inconvenienced by his not-deadness. Ross proceeds to spend a lot of time hanging out with poor people. He even marries one! His scullery maid! And has a baby with her! But don't get too excited, the baby dies of strep throat or something like that. Oh, and there's a former classmate of Ross' who is hell-bent on ruining his life and has one of those faces that's just begging for a knuckle sandwich. At the end of Season 1, said classmate bribes some soldiers to arrest Ross over some made-up nonsense.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, got all that? Great. Let's do this...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dramatic music, dramatic waves, dramatic cliffs, dramatic drone footage, all lead us to the edge of the world where Ross is being led to prison by a bunch of snappily-dressed soldiers. They take him to a tribunal, where a judge reads Ross' alleged crimes aloud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #1:\u003c/strong> Leading a blood-thirsty mob to pillage a shipwreck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> Well...technically, they weren't thirsty for blood, they were thirsty for \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/22/why-is-everyone-so-obsessed-with-lacroix-and-mercury-in-retrograde/\">LaCroix\u003c/a> (who isn't, amirite?) and, you know, food to eat. But not blood, no. Next!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #2:\u003c/strong> Encouraging a riot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> I mean, what is a riot, really? All these people were doing was stealing tons of expensive cargo and murdering rich people. If that's wrong, then I don't want to be right. Got anything else?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Charge #3:\u003c/strong> Killing that jerk who cheated at cards and tried to steal your entire inheritance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross' defense:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> OMG, I WISH!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judges chat amongst themselves and decide they have had...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/drag-race-ive-had-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38616\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/drag-race-ive-had-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"drag race i've had it gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They tell Ross he is going on trial for his criminal good looks and his criminal behavior too. This is all very concerning and all, but can we pause for a second to process the fact that Aidan Turner (Ross) got a haircut? Have we learned nothing from when Keri Russell cut off all her curly locks in the beginning of the second season of \u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em> and everyone lost their damn minds and stopped watching the show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anywho, Demelza is at home, inventing the FML acronym. Her baby is dead, but her cute little bed is still right there. Her husband is in prison, where people get gangrene and typhus and homesick. It's too bad that LiveJournal hasn't been created yet, because Demelza has earned the right to write some terrible, teen-angsty poetry right about now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before Demelza has a chance to think of something that rhymes with siiiiiiiigh, Ross walks through the door! He's on parole! But he's probably going to be sentenced to prison in five days. Demelza thinks, \u003cem>Ugh, I bet \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/22/why-is-everyone-so-obsessed-with-lacroix-and-mercury-in-retrograde/\">Mercury is in retrograde\u003c/a>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is pretending to be outraged over the charges, as if he didn't spend the entirety of Season 1 sabotaging Ross and wanting him to die in a stampede or avalanche or tsunami. Not buying it, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Ross looks off into the distance and proclaims, \"A storm is coming.\" What can I say? Subtlety is not this show's strong suit. But there's shirtless scything so who cares?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza talks to Ross about their dead baby and the trial. Ross is in denial about both and says, \u003cem>You know what would be fun right now? Mining!\u003c/em> So they run off to their mine and the miners feel awkward, partly because their boss won't admit he's probably going to jail, but mostly because he cut his hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy is meeting with a lawyer. He wants Ross tried for murder because Ross doesn't want to be friends. Even his evil uncle is like, \u003cem>Really, dude?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a poor part of town, Mrs. Pigpen (Ross' former servant) is doing her laundry in a dirty puddle, as one in the 18th century does. Two men from the prosecution try to get her to sell out Ross. She's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38850\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif\" alt=\"no drag race gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o6kfajYkhG1rkxo5g_500-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a rich part of town, Pinky Ring (Ross' ex, now cousin-in-law) is unaccompanied (*gasp*). But no worries, evil Malfoy shows up to escort and salivate all over her. She's like, \u003cem>Ew, can you not? This is suede. Also, can you do me a solid and stop trying to get Ross thrown in jail? \u003c/em>Malfoy responds, \u003cem>So if I do that, will you be open to me then using this act of kindness to coerce you into making out with me whenever I want? And do you think Ross will finally want to hang out with me?\u003c/em> Pinky Ring is like, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ \u003cem>yeah, sure\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets with Suze Orman's ancestor, who is appalled at the state of Ross' finances. Because he spent all of season 1 hiring people, he now has no money and will leave Demelza with a mountain of debt. Ross doesn't have much to say for himself, other than: \u003cem>My bad!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Pinky Ring writes Demelza a letter: \u003cem>Sorry about giving you the strep throat that killed your baby. And sorry about my husband ruining your husband. Wanna come over?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in town, some rich dude and a blonde woman pass Ross. Blondie is like, \u003cem>Yum! Who is that?!\u003c/em> Rich Dude is like, \u003cem>Just some nobody\u003c/em>. Ross catches Blondie doing a double take and thinks,\u003cem> I may be bankrupt and my hairs might be short, but I still got it!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But more important than all that is Blondie's travel companion, a cute little pug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38866\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-1440x806.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark.jpg 1676w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38865\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-800x444.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark-2\" width=\"800\" height=\"444\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-800x444.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-400x222.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-768x426.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1440x798.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1180x654.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-2.jpg 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38864\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-800x448.jpg\" alt=\"pug-poldark-3\" width=\"800\" height=\"448\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-1440x807.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/pug-poldark-3.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His name is Horace! I'm in love!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, Horace's mom, Blondie, is in Cornwall to visit her uncle. The rich dude she's with is running for a seat in Parliament and wants to marry her. She's just not that into him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Mr. Pigpen is passed out drunk (his default setting). The two dudes from prosecution try to bribe him with booze in exchange for testimony against Ross. And Mr. Pigpen is about to give it to them... until Mrs. Pigpen swoops in to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michelle-visage-drag-race-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38868\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michelle-visage-drag-race-gif.gif\" alt=\"no michelle visage drag race gif\" width=\"540\" height=\"304\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross and Demelza agree to accept Pinky Ring's invitation and regret it immediately. Malfoy is there, doing his creepy I'll-help-you-in-exchange-for-bestie-status-and-make-outs-with-Pinky-Ring thing. Ross does not have time for this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38869\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif\" alt=\"viola davis purse leaving gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/viola-davis-purse-leaving-gif-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Tarot Card Agatha is in the corner living for every moment, snacking on popcorn:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38977\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-800x445.jpg\" alt=\"poldark-agatha-popcorn\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-800x445.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-400x223.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-768x427.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1440x801.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1180x657.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-960x534.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-agatha-popcorn.jpg 1680w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he gets home, Ross calls Malfoy an \"upstart poodle.\" He says some other stuff too, but I couldn't hear over my laughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Upstart Poodle is proofreading a pamphlet he's having printed. It's the page from his Burn Book dedicated to Ross. It basically says this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/burn-book-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38870\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/burn-book-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"burn book mean girls gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is out for a walk and stops in on Blondie's uncle. You see, this guy apparently knows the judge who will preside over Ross' trial. She pretends to have gotten queasy as she was walking. You can take the girl out of the street, but you can't take the street smarts out of the girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the mine, Ross takes out all his aggression by hammering a rock really hard without a shirt on. This is a thank you from the show's producers to all the straight woman and gay men watching. Keep the gratitude, coming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Overlooking his closed mine, Backstabber Cousin whines like a baby about how he sucks at life and wishes he was Ross. Pinky Ring tries to say something reassuring, but is cut off by Backstabber Cousin storming off like the brat that he is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza sneakily gets into Blondie's uncle's favor. Parliament Wannabe and Blondie return home just in time to see Demelza leaving, and the former says she must be up to no good because she looks like a \"dangerous woman.\" If by that, he means that she is one of the best pop vocalists of her era, then yes, she is indeed a Dangerous Woman™:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38877\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg\" alt=\"demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande\" width=\"620\" height=\"620\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/demelza-dangerous-woman-ariana-grande-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a heath somewhere, Ross runs into Backstabber Cousin and does that thing where you see an acquaintance on public transportation but really just wanna keep reading your book so you hide behind strangers or just get off and wait for the next bus or train. But unfortunately for Ross, there's nowhere to hide in a big open field and nowhere to go other than off the cliff, which does actually seem like a kinder fate than dealing with this loser. Anyway, that's a long-winded way of saying Ross still hates Backstabber Cousin for ruining his business, marrying his girlfriend and killing his newborn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, Malfoy drops by and slobbers over her some more. He calls her ravishing and then realizes Tarot Card Agatha is still alive and sitting right there. He extends the compliment to her as well and, without missing a beat, Tarot Card Agatha calls him \"pasty-faced\" and says it's a \"consequence of sitting too long indoors fingering coin.\" MVP!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin walks in and whines about Ross not wanting to chit chat like old pals on the heath. Malfoy is like, \u003cem>Typical!\u003c/em> Pinky Ring sighs. Tarot Card Agatha thinks,\u003cem> I hate everyone in this room.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin shows everyone the page from Malfoy's Burn Book that's making the round and accuses Malfoy of having something to do with it, in the most polite, British way possible. Malfoy returns the favor by calling him bankrupt, in the most polite, British way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a dirty side street, Mr. Pigpen is drunk as ever and cornered by the prosecutors. Mrs. Pigpen is not around to say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michlle-visage-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38884\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/no-michlle-visage-gif.gif\" alt=\"no michlle visage gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza is at the piano, playing the first single off of her new album \u003cem>Dangerous Woman\u003c/em>. Ross likes what he hears so much that he strips naked and they proceed to have sensual sex for a while (another thank you from the show's producers).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few miles away, now that he no longer has the money for a prostitute, Backstabber Cousin tries his hand at getting some from his wife. Pinky Ring is not having it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/14-01-Clueless-quotes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38885\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/14-01-Clueless-quotes.gif\" alt=\"ew get off me clueless as if gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Blue Ball'd Backstabber Cousin looks up at a portrait of his dead father, whose disapproving face sends a clear message:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"tyra-rooting-for-you\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin announces he's going to Ross' trial. Pinky Ring wants to come, but Backstabber Cousin says \"court is no place for a woman.\" I'd like to see you tell that to these women:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-38886 size-medium\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-800x531.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"531\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-800x531.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-400x266.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-768x510.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-1180x784.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters-960x638.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Judges-bey-voters.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is feeling emotional with the trial just around the corner and confesses to kind of being in love with Ross. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>SAME!\u003c/em> Finally they agree on something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a fancy coach, Horace the pug is redefining cuteness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38887\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-800x453.jpg\" alt=\"horace-4\" width=\"800\" height=\"453\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-800x453.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-400x226.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-768x435.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-1440x815.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-1180x668.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4-960x543.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-4.jpg 1673w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is arguing with her uncle over whether she has to be by Parliament Wannabe's side as he finds out if he's been voted into office or not. Blondie says she's going to stay in and eat jellies with Horace instead. Now here's someone with their priorities in order!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross arrives to court and finds Malfoy's Burn Book pages all over the place. He accepts his fate: a guest starring role in the next season of \u003cem>Orange Is The New Black\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38888\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/orange-is-the-new-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"orange-is-the-new-poldark\" width=\"386\" height=\"477\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local inn, Backstabber Cousin is complaining about there not being any rooms for him. Ross' doctor friend offers to share his room, but offers in that way you do when you want to be nice, but don't actually expect the person to take you up on it. Backstabber Cousin is all about making things awkward and being inappropriate, so get ready, roomie!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, as Doc is getting settled, there is an urgent call. Someone is gravely ill! Let it be Malfoy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is packing. Even though Ross forbade her from coming to the trial, she decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38896\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n3a2daPXy81rtszxfo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/BEYONCE-GIF-16-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38897\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/BEYONCE-GIF-16-1.gif\" alt=\"BEYONCE-GIF-16-1\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She hitches a ride with Verity (yay, the Queen is back!), who seems to be much happier now that she doesn't have to live with Backstabber Cousin and be reminded of how old everyone thinks 25 is every single day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc shows up to help the gravely ill person. It's sadly not Malfoy, it's HORACE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NOOOOOOO!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38889\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-800x447.jpg\" alt=\"horace-pug-5\" width=\"800\" height=\"447\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-400x224.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-1440x805.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/horace-pug-5.jpg 1676w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's been having spasms. Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writer, kill off human babies if you must, but not Horace! Never Horace!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! Horace just needs to be carried less. This whole thing was simply a way for Doc to have a meet cute with Blondie. I can live with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets with his lawyer, who advises him to be apologetic. Ross being Ross says, \u003cem>HA HA HA! NO.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some ballroom, everyone is voting and talking about Malfoy's Burn Book. Backstabber Cousin shows up to confront Malfoy over it and say that, no matter how much money he acquires:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/CwMdBE5KXRpLExcXERkfABgAChxdBgwfSgMTWgobGhEXHRFMBxUYDBYNB1tXQkJTTEJTWwYbDBMVCxEWSwQbAw.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38899\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/CwMdBE5KXRpLExcXERkfABgAChxdBgwfSgMTWgobGhEXHRFMBxUYDBYNB1tXQkJTTEJTWwYbDBMVCxEWSwQbAw.gif\" alt=\"money can't buy you class gif countess\" width=\"245\" height=\"190\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's reply:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/rs_500x300-151117115948-giphy_4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/rs_500x300-151117115948-giphy_4.gif\" alt=\"shut up regina george mean girls gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a hotel room, Verity tries to convince Demelza not to go out alone on some mysterious errand because the streets are full of drunkards, since it's Election Day. Demelza is like,\u003cem> I used to be homeless. I got this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately runs into her born again father, who brings up her dead baby and her soon-to-be-dead husband as evidence of her sins. Demelza responds by hugging him and saying:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/26704-god-is-not-real.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/26704-god-is-not-real.gif\" alt=\"god is not real beyonce gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the room, Verity is minding her own goddamn business when there's a knock at the door. It's Backstabber Cousin, who proceeds to barge in, chug all the booze that can be found, and say things like \"How does it feel to be married to a drunken brute?\" with zero self-awareness. And because this wouldn't be a Backstabber Cousin meltdown without some whining about Ross, he laments that Ross is so important that people publish Burn Books about him to get him hanged. \u003cem>What about me?? I want a Burn Book! I want to be hanged!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity does what Verity does best and serves up a hot helping of \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grlly.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grlly.gif\" alt=\"girl really gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza finally makes it to her destination, the ballroom where everyone is voting and where Blondie's uncle is hanging out. But not so fast! Malfoy, who seems to be everywhere at once, tells the guards Demelza is \"a harlot\" and shouldn't be let inside.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"Kristen-Wiig-pissed\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hotel, an employee lets Backstabber Cousin into Doc's room. The employee wonders if there's something gay going on: \"It's a small chamber, sir, and but a single bed!\" Backstabber Cousin assures him, \u003cem>I'm not planning on gay stuff, but I am planning on probably committing suicide. \u003c/em>The employee is like,\u003cem> Phew! Okay, bye!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross is chilling in his cell, awaiting trial. Malfoy shows up, as he always does. Someone get this villain a FitBit; he gets around! 10k steps before noon, easy. Anyway, Malfoy offers to help and Ross essentially says, \u003cem>Go F yourself. \u003c/em>Malfoy rejoices. Now he can tell Pinky Ring he tried to help, but was turned away, and she'll fall madly in love with him and have all the sex. Mmhm, keep telling yourself that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Pinky Ring, Tarot Card Agatha is -- what else -- pulling tarot cards! Justice, The Tower, Death. Before we can even guess what that all means, we are taken back to the hotel where Backstabber Cousin puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger. I'll let you guess which person in this gif represents me:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"survivor smile shocked gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in prison, Ross finds out Mr. Pigpen intends to testify against him. Wow. I wonder if the old lady sees Mr. Pigpen being torn apart by wild dogs in her tarot reading.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Demelza manages to sneak into the fancy ballroom and walks right up to Blondie, her uncle and Parliament Wannabe. Blondie is like, \u003cem>OMG, is your husband guilty?! What did he do? Let's dish, girlfriend!\u003c/em> Demelza is like, \u003cem>Ew.\u003c/em> A mob roars outside and Parliament Wannabe assumes they're \"clamoring\" for him. Hmm, clamoring to put your fancy head on a pike is more like it, but go ahead and check it out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the pub, everyone is talking about how badass French people are and how fun guillotines seem. They promise to start murdering rich people soon, but first they have to go to court to cheer on Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the fancy ballroom, Demelza's sweet talking only goes so far. Blondie's uncle just wants to drink his port and chill tonight, sorry. So she decides to talk to the judge herself. Uh oh.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, the election results are being read. It's a tie! So the sensible thing to do is to recount or revote, right? Apparently not. The omnipresent Malfoy is there, whispering in Parliament Wannabe's ear to just sit in the winner's chair (a literal chair) and just act like he deserves it (you know, revel in his white male privilege). So he does. The crowd carries around his chair like he just got Jewish married. But unlike what usually happens at weddings, the crowd also starts throwing feces directly into his face! Dear Cornwall, never change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/alyssa-edwards-poop-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38985\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/alyssa-edwards-poop-gif.gif\" alt=\"alyssa edwards poop gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The feces instigator is thrown in the jail cell across from Ross. He speaks eloquently about civil rights... until a soldier knocks him unconscious with the butt of a rifle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the ballroom, Blondie is flirting a little too antagonistically for Doc's liking. She's offended that he's offended. Then he's offended that she's offended that he's offended. Cliff's Notes version: they will be married in two episodes or less.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, Demelza is saying all the right things to the judge. \u003cem>OMG, you hate drinking? Me too! What a coinkidink! So anywayyy, what would you say if I told you someone was trying to bribe people into giving false testimonies??\u003c/em> Before the judge can answer, Malfoy slithers up and outs Demelza as Ross' wife. The judge is appalled! Malfoy's heart shrinks another size.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judge and Malfoy walk approximately three feet away to discuss how important it is to make an example of Ross so that poor people know their place (this place does not involve feces-throwing or basic human rights). This experience is going to make for a killer single on Demelza's next album.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the hotel, Ross' doctor friend is ready for bed, but his door is locked. The employee is like, \u003cem>Your maybe gay lover is in there.\u003c/em> Doc knocks, but there's no answer. The music swells and just as Doc is about to break down the door, Backstabber Cousin opens it, looking a hot mess. He's alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/unimpressed-whitney.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38948\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/unimpressed-whitney.gif\" alt=\"unimpressed whitney\" width=\"350\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin tells Doc all about how his gun malfunctioned. He sucks at life and so do his belongings. He then proceeds to ramble about how he's still planning on killing himself, but wants to have a drink beforehand. Doc spends this whole time thinking about how anyone else would have picked up that his offering his room was just a formality. It wasn't a real suggestion. What is wrong with this dude?! Doc just wants a good night's sleep. Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the ballroom, Demelza yells at Malfoy and calls him out for being a blacksmith's grandson. He calls her out for being a miner's daughter and, soon, a gentleman's widow. Yikes. Lord Voldemort would be proud.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/voldemort-hug-malfoy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38986\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/voldemort-hug-malfoy.gif\" alt=\"voldemort hug malfoy\" width=\"500\" height=\"210\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Backstabber Cousin is fiddling with his gun. Doc is lying on his bed, watching and feeling very awkward.Backstabber Cousin asks, \"Ask me, am I cleaning it to put away or do I intend to use it again?\" Doc is like, \u003cem>Ummm, are you cleaning it or do you intend to use it again?\u003c/em> Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>OMG, thanks for asking! I'm not sure. I might kill someone else or myself. Still deciding.\u003c/em> What does a boring lunatic have to do for some attention and validation around here?! Apparently, brag for hours about maybe or maybe not committing suicide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Malfoy and one of his Slytherin cronies are planning on stacking the courthouse with loud people who don't like Ross. Goodie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In prison, Ross and the Feces Thrower shoot the sh*t (pardon the pun; Carrie Bradshaw taught me). They hope they both get justice, but aren't too optimistic. And they shouldn't be because Feces Thrower is found guilty. The judge does not leave much to the imagination with his sentence: \"You are to be taken from hence to a place of execution, where you will be hanged from the neck... until you die.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38987\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif\" alt=\"your tone seems very pointed right now gif willam\" width=\"232\" height=\"232\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam.gif 232w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/your-tone-seems-very-pointed-right-now-gif-willam-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 232px) 100vw, 232px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross enters the courtroom, almost everyone yells \"Murderer!\" and other fun things Malfoy paid them to say. Other people paid by Malfoy take the stand and say Ross kicked injured people and body slammed puppies, among other evil acts. Speaking of evil, Demelza's dad busts in to call Ross the Devil Incarnate. Cool story, bro; now off you go to the dentist to fix those black teeth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza starts hyperventilating and runs from the courtroom. Pinky Ring follows her out and blurts out, \"I came for Backstabber Cousin.\" Um, ok. She then says, \u003cem>Sorry I killed your baby with my germs. Is having a dead kid the worst?!\u003c/em> There's no real way to respond to that so Demelza blurts out, \u003cem>I'M PREGNANT!\u003c/em> That's nice if she is, but it would be awesome if she wasn't and she just uses that line to get out of awkward social situations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Inside, Mr. Pigpen takes the stand and starts selling Ross out for a few coins. Everyone on #TeamRoss is disgusted. But then Mr. Pigpen changes his story either because his booze is wearing off or just kicking in (not sure what kind of drunk he is). His testimony is thrown out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The captain of the shipwreck, a reverse Sully if you will, takes the stand. He says the beach that night was like Dante's Inferno (oo, someone took AP English!) and adds that everyone really misbehaved. Ross speaks up and has a...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/destinys-child-question-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38956\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/destinys-child-question-gif.gif\" alt=\"destiny's child question gif\" width=\"535\" height=\"291\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes, \u003cem>Hey, Captain dude, remember when I protected you and your men and brought you to my house to keep you safe, even though I had just buried my baby and my wife was on her death bed?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Captain replies:\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38957\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif\" alt=\"Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah\" width=\"263\" height=\"263\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah.gif 263w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Elaine-Benes-Yeah-Yeah-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 263px) 100vw, 263px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross looks at the judge and jury and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-told-you-so-stephen-colbert.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38958\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-told-you-so-stephen-colbert.gif\" alt=\"i told you so stephen colbert\" width=\"332\" height=\"352\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's Doc's turn to take the stand. He basically says, \u003cem>Hey, guys! I'm a doctor and I can say Ross was kind of nuts that night 'cause of his dead baby and maybe dead wife. Plus, all the drinking he was doing for like a week straight. And the not sleeping for days on end. So yeah, he didn't do it, but if he did, he was just temporarily a little cray cray. Thanks for your time. Bye! \u003c/em>Everyone on #TeamRoss wishes Doc had stayed home.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The court takes a short recess and Slytherin Crony asks why Malfoy isn't giddier. Malfoy is like, \u003cem>I mean, it's cool that Ross is going to die for not wanting to be my friend, but I want his mine too. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-i-want-it-now.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38959\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-i-want-it-now.gif\" alt=\"veruca salt i want it now\" width=\"480\" height=\"343\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Backstabber Cousin approaches Pinky Ring to remind her he forbade her from coming and let her know he's still an insanely jealous, insecure prick. Then he walks away from her, as she's asking him a question, just to make sure she didn't forget how awful he is. How long does it take to fix a malfunctioning gun? (Too soon?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The court regroups and Ross' lawyer tells him to either grovel or be hanged. So Ross gets ready to grit his teeth and apologize, until he doesn't. \u003cem>Hi, y'all. So yeah, there was kind of a riot and some people took things that didn't belong to them.... BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. ENGLAND'S CLASS SYSTEM IS BULLSHIT. SORRY NOT SORRY. I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN. I'M OUT!\u003c/em> Ross drops the mic and sits back down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' lawyer looks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/marcia-clark-crying.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38960\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/marcia-clark-crying.gif\" alt=\"marcia clark crying\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The judge tells the jury,\u003cem> That was a cute speech and all, but he totally did it and I want you to convict him so I can hang him. K thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The jury takes approximately two whole minutes and comes back with their verdict. The defendant is....\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>.....\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>.........\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>..................\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>NOT GUILTY!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>#TeamRoss loses their sh*t, as if Oprah just gave them all cars...or, um, new horse-drawn carriages or whatever:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-12.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38967\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-12.gif\" alt=\"giphy (12)\" width=\"575\" height=\"394\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah-audience.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38970\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah-audience.gif\" alt=\"oprah-audience\" width=\"431\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6yic0l.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38971\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6yic0l.gif\" alt=\"6yic0l\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o.gif\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38968\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o.gif\" alt=\"5191284244_9b4bb75ffa_o\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprahgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38973\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprahgif.gif\" alt=\"oprahgif\" width=\"350\" height=\"197\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/favoritethingsprayer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38974\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/favoritethingsprayer.gif\" alt=\"favoritethingsprayer\" width=\"350\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/amypoehlerhead.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38969\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/amypoehlerhead.gif\" alt=\"amypoehlerhead\" width=\"320\" height=\"179\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Malfoy and his Slytherin Crony are all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah02.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38972\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oprah02.gif\" alt=\"oprah02\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swept up in all the hope fulfillment, Verity runs to her brother, Backstabber Cousin, and is like, \u003cem>Yayyyyyy! Also, let's not fight anymore, okay? Life is short and stuff.\u003c/em> Despite the wondrous optimism of the moment, Backstabber Cousin can't help but rain on the parade: \u003cem>Yeah, no. I still hate your husband for shooting me in the neck that one time.\u003c/em> Verity runs away crying. His magical power is inspiring that reaction in people.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring walks up and has to pretend not to be elated about Ross not being hanged because it might send Backstabber Cousin into another one of his jealous tantrums. Just get a divorce! If it's good enough for Brangelina, it's good enough for you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza ride to the beach, where all their poor friends are having a chill bonfire. Everyone rejoices, violins and fiddles are played, the 18th century version of twerking occurs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Tarot Card Agatha shows Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring a card and proclaims, \"Not guilty!\" She should open up a stand or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy is busy doing this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38976\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/veruca-salt-willy-wonka.gif\" alt=\"veruca-salt-willy-wonka\" width=\"500\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slytherin Crony is like, \u003cem>Um, so we tried to kill Ross and it didn't work. Aren't you scared that he's going to try to kill us now?\u003c/em> Malfoy is like, \u003cem>Oh sh*t.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Ross, Demelza and Ross run into the Pigpens. Ross is still mad about the whole you-almost-got-me-killed-for-50-cents thing. But it seems as though he'll rehire them tomorrow because he just loves hiring people that much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a mansion across town, Malfoy locks and loads a pistol and puts it in his bedside table, as he should. Be afraid, be very afraid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza tells Ross she is perfectly happy... except that all that she wants is another baby, just as Ace of Base predicted. Ross says now is not a good time. Demelza realizes her strategy for revealing her pregnancy in a cute, fun way wasn't thought out so well, after all. They have sex anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Malfoy:\u003c/strong> He reached Scar-throwing-his-own-brother-to-his-death levels of evil here. It's only a matter of time before Ross uses the Avada Kedavra spell on him, and I will be watching next to Tarot Card Agatha with popcorn in my lap.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's awesome that she tried to sneakily get Ross off the hook several times. If only she was actually any good at being sneaky.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Tarot Card Agatha\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> Everyone forgets she's still alive and/or assumes she's senile, but -- \u003cem>au contraire\u003c/em> -- she knows all, sees all, judges all. She's basically half Nostradamus, half insult comic. Keep on truckin', centenarian!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>He lives! Well, technically, he doesn't since this is set centuries ago, but you know what I mean. Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Horace\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong> If you don't agree with my awarding the number one spot to a dog, scroll back up and take in those photos of the beloved pug one more time. You'll understand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "'Rolling Stone' Sells Minority Share of Magazine to Singapore Entrepreneur",
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"content": "\u003cp>The founder of \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em> is selling a minority share of the fabled magazine to a Singapore-based social media entrepreneur, the first time an outside investor has been allowed to buy into the property.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several media reports say Jann Wenner has decided to sell 49 percent of the magazine, as well as its digital assets, to BandLab Technologies, a social-networking site for musicians and fans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The sale will not involve \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em>‘s parent company, Wenner Media LLC, and Wenner will retain control of the magazine, \u003ca href=\"http://www.wsj.com/articles/rolling-stone-magazine-sells-49-stake-to-singapores-bandlab-technologies-1474812182\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Wall Street Journal reports\u003c/a>. Instead, BandLab “will oversee a new Rolling Stone International subsidiary, which will develop live events, merchandising and hospitality,” \u003ca href=\"http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-09-25/jann-wenner-to-sell-49-of-rolling-stone-to-singapore-s-bandlab\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bloomberg reports\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12121763\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Jann Wenner speaks onstage during the 30th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony at Public Hall on April 18, 2015 in Cleveland, Ohio. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12121763\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jann Wenner speaks onstage during the 30th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony at Public Hall on April 18, 2015 in Cleveland, Ohio. \u003ccite>(Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The sale comes at a time when \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em>, like virtually every publication, has seen its revenues slip and its subscriber base shrink. It also suffered a major blow to its reputation when it published an article about a purported gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity that turned out to be a hoax.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Under Wenner’s son, Gus, the magazine has pursued an aggressive digital strategy, Bloomberg reports:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\n\u003cp>“Rolling Stone currently reaches a global audience of 65 million people, according to the company. That includes 22 million domestic digital monthly users, almost 18 million social fans and followers, and nearly 12 million readers of the U.S. print publication. The average monthly unique visitors to its \u003ca href=\"http://www.RollingStone.com\" target=\"_blank\" data-tracker-action=\"click\" data-tracker-category=\"nav\" data-tracker-label=\"inline_link.05\" rel=\"noopener\">website\u003c/a> rose almost 40 percent in the first half of this year from a year earlier. It publishes 12 international editions in countries including Australia, Indonesia and Japan.”\u003c/p>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>“Everyone is trying to figure out the new business model,” said Gus Wenner, in an interview with the \u003cem>Wall Street Journal\u003c/em>. He runs digital operations at Wenner Media and also oversees ad sales, marketing and digital editorial across the company.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have the quality that most matters, a brand that means something to people and elicits an emotional response,” said Wenner, the son of Jann Wenner, who founded the magazine in 1967.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>BandLab was founded by Kuok Meng Ru, the son of agribusiness billionaire Kuok Khoon Hong. It is funded by private investors, including Kuok’s father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What has happened last 49 years has already shown that \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em> is more than a brand to people,” Kuok said in a \u003cem>Bloomberg\u003c/em> interview. “It is now our shared responsibility to take it into the future.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Rolling+Stone%27+Sells+Minority+Share+Of+Magazine+To+Singapore+Entrepreneur&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The founder of \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em> is selling a minority share of the fabled magazine to a Singapore-based social media entrepreneur, the first time an outside investor has been allowed to buy into the property.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several media reports say Jann Wenner has decided to sell 49 percent of the magazine, as well as its digital assets, to BandLab Technologies, a social-networking site for musicians and fans.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The sale will not involve \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em>‘s parent company, Wenner Media LLC, and Wenner will retain control of the magazine, \u003ca href=\"http://www.wsj.com/articles/rolling-stone-magazine-sells-49-stake-to-singapores-bandlab-technologies-1474812182\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Wall Street Journal reports\u003c/a>. Instead, BandLab “will oversee a new Rolling Stone International subsidiary, which will develop live events, merchandising and hospitality,” \u003ca href=\"http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-09-25/jann-wenner-to-sell-49-of-rolling-stone-to-singapore-s-bandlab\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bloomberg reports\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12121763\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Jann Wenner speaks onstage during the 30th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony at Public Hall on April 18, 2015 in Cleveland, Ohio. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12121763\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Jann-Wenner-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jann Wenner speaks onstage during the 30th Annual Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony at Public Hall on April 18, 2015 in Cleveland, Ohio. \u003ccite>(Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The sale comes at a time when \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em>, like virtually every publication, has seen its revenues slip and its subscriber base shrink. It also suffered a major blow to its reputation when it published an article about a purported gang rape at a University of Virginia fraternity that turned out to be a hoax.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Under Wenner’s son, Gus, the magazine has pursued an aggressive digital strategy, Bloomberg reports:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\n\u003cp>“Rolling Stone currently reaches a global audience of 65 million people, according to the company. That includes 22 million domestic digital monthly users, almost 18 million social fans and followers, and nearly 12 million readers of the U.S. print publication. The average monthly unique visitors to its \u003ca href=\"http://www.RollingStone.com\" target=\"_blank\" data-tracker-action=\"click\" data-tracker-category=\"nav\" data-tracker-label=\"inline_link.05\" rel=\"noopener\">website\u003c/a> rose almost 40 percent in the first half of this year from a year earlier. It publishes 12 international editions in countries including Australia, Indonesia and Japan.”\u003c/p>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>“Everyone is trying to figure out the new business model,” said Gus Wenner, in an interview with the \u003cem>Wall Street Journal\u003c/em>. He runs digital operations at Wenner Media and also oversees ad sales, marketing and digital editorial across the company.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We have the quality that most matters, a brand that means something to people and elicits an emotional response,” said Wenner, the son of Jann Wenner, who founded the magazine in 1967.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>BandLab was founded by Kuok Meng Ru, the son of agribusiness billionaire Kuok Khoon Hong. It is funded by private investors, including Kuok’s father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What has happened last 49 years has already shown that \u003cem>Rolling Stone\u003c/em> is more than a brand to people,” Kuok said in a \u003cem>Bloomberg\u003c/em> interview. “It is now our shared responsibility to take it into the future.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Rolling+Stone%27+Sells+Minority+Share+Of+Magazine+To+Singapore+Entrepreneur&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Celebrity Beastmode: Marshawn Lynch as the Candy Man",
"title": "Celebrity Beastmode: Marshawn Lynch as the Candy Man",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>On the afternoon of Friday, Sept. 23, Marshawn Lynch walks slowly through the Bay Street shopping mall in Emeryville. Under one massive arm, he carries a chess set, a flier for an upcoming chess tournament at the Hilltop mall in Richmond, and a Willy Wonka-esque top hat. With the other, he supports a tiny elderly woman -- his grandmother, who was wearing, like him, a t-shirt emblazoned with the word “Beastmode,” Lynch’s own brand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38831\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"w grandma\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The pair pass shoppers hurrying into Sephora and H&M, customers who didn’t give them a second glance. They draw attention only after approaching the line of people queued up outside the IT'SUGAR, an upscale candy shop where Lynch’s latest venture, Beastmode-branded chocolate bars, are about to have their world premiere (hence the Wonka hat, which Lynch wore on national television on \u003cem>Conan\u003c/em> a few nights before).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIGjFwgrid0\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you are Marshawn Lynch -- recently-retired Super Bowl-winning running back for the Seattle Seahawks, former California Golden Bears and Oakland Tech superstar -- it is apparently possible to be one of Oakland’s most famous sons, and still walk in near-total anonymity through the evening crowd at a busy shopping center just a few blocks from where you grew up, went to school, and first became a celebrity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Near-total, because the 80 people lined up outside the candy shop are definitely here for Lynch, who, at 30 years old, is enjoying a second act as an entrepreneur -- and, increasingly, as an in-demand media personality. This is a role he plays strictly on his own terms, something Marshawn Lynch will enforce within minutes of arriving at the store, where Mitch Grossbach and Jean Thompson, the GMs of Beastmode and Seattle Chocolate, respectively, are already inside waiting on their star.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://vimeo.com/183424365\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shortly after the scheduled 4 p.m. start time, after Marshawn has finished greeting all the cashiers and clerks inside and posing for pictures, the line of fans outside starts moving. Inside the store, piles of Beastmode chocolate bars are stacked underneath mannequins dressed in Beastmode leggings and Lynch's new Cal-branded Beastmode shirts. Everyone here will get a chocolate bar, a photo, and a second or two of Lynch's time. No autographs and no interviews will be given -- which gets rid of the two TV cameramen who have shown up, seconds after they film his entrance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38832\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-800x1422.jpg\" alt=\"sign w chocolate\" width=\"800\" height=\"1422\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-800x1422.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-400x711.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-768x1365.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-1440x2560.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-1180x2098.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-960x1707.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628.jpg 1836w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More notably, the reception Lynch gives his fans, who have dutifully lined up to get a photo of him in his Wonka hat, depends entirely on who they are. The fawning grown men in Seahawks and Raiders garb, he will politely tolerate; the women he may greet warmly, flashing an electric smile, but the kids -- the kids get the VIP treatment. Lynch mugs with them, prods them into smiles, and breaks the ice if necessary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38834\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"smile w kids\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I went up there, he said, ‘Don’t be shy -- get over here,’” says Oakland resident Autumn Jacobs, 13. She arrived today with her older sister and her father (who also got a picture with Marshawn, albeit the serious and unsmiling one).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You think about him as maybe shy or standoffish...I think he is more shy than standoffish,” says Seattle Chocolate’s Thompson, adding that Lynch took a little while to open up before becoming nothing but charming and affable during the yearlong process of launching their product. “I think the press, they take things out of context sometimes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38833\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"grownup not smiling\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Seattle, Thompson says, Lynch is a certified A-lister: a big star. (The following day, when Lynch appears in Seattle for the grand opening of a second Beastmode apparel retail location, \"several hundred\" people will show up for autographs). Seattle being a small market, one might think that would make Lynch a niche star, but he's proving otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn’t realize his fame and attraction had such legs across the country,” she says. He's quirky and famous enough to have been on O'Brien's show now four times, and he's a big enough name for his personal peccadilloes to become selling points.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38842\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg\" alt=\"i\" width=\"570\" height=\"321\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg 570w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 570px) 100vw, 570px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After it became known that he was an aficionado of Skittles -- his mother would feed him the candy before his schoolboy football games, calling them his “power pills” -- he started appearing in commercials. These days, you can see Lynch next to other current NFL superstars in commercials for XboX, uttering the punchline “Y’all need to work on y’all people skills,\" poking fun at Lynch’s own notorious reticence during his playing days, when he clowned the soundbite-addicted football media with a series of one-answer press conferences. (“I’m just here so I won’t get fined,” he said in response to every question asked at one, a phrase since trademarked and printed on his t-shirts.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_38835\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-38835\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-800x520.jpg\" alt=\"Marshawn Lynch eats Skittles as he addresses the media at Super Bowl XLIX Media Day in 2015.\" width=\"800\" height=\"520\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-800x520.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-400x260.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-768x500.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1440x937.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1920x1249.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1180x768.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-960x624.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marshawn Lynch eats Skittles as he addresses the media at Super Bowl XLIX Media Day in 2015. \u003ccite>(Christian Petersen/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The joke is on them now, as Lynch has beaten them at their own game. He clowned them, hard, and the public ate it up, making his celebrity even bigger, his personality more enjoyable. \"I love him,\" says a flushed Melissa Espy, a woman in her thirties, still flustered after her encounter. Espy drove three hours from Monterey County to be the first person in line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38851\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-800x477.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-09-26 at 11.37.49 AM\" width=\"800\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-800x477.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-400x239.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-768x458.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM.png 927w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the scene is incredibly mellow. By 5 p.m., the line has dissipated enough for the security guards outside to start rolling up and putting away the retractable belt-line barriers, leading Espy to hop back in line for a second photo. Other fans sit on benches outside in the sun, next to the signs with Lynch’s face advertising his appearance, to compare photos and brag on social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38836\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"20160923_161047\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lynch was scheduled to be here another hour. After that, he and Grossbach have a few more hours before they had leave for SFO and the flight north for the Seattle Beastmode grand opening. In between receiving visitors -- by this time, a young girl has become Lynch's companion in all photos -- Grossbach asks Lynch if he wanted some Skittles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Nah,” Lynch said, shaking his head, one arm around the shoulder of the girl, who is all smiles. “I’m good.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "At 30, one of Oakland's most famous sons is already a retired Super Bowl star. His second act involves a lot more chocolate. ",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On the afternoon of Friday, Sept. 23, Marshawn Lynch walks slowly through the Bay Street shopping mall in Emeryville. Under one massive arm, he carries a chess set, a flier for an upcoming chess tournament at the Hilltop mall in Richmond, and a Willy Wonka-esque top hat. With the other, he supports a tiny elderly woman -- his grandmother, who was wearing, like him, a t-shirt emblazoned with the word “Beastmode,” Lynch’s own brand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38831\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"w grandma\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/w-grandma-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The pair pass shoppers hurrying into Sephora and H&M, customers who didn’t give them a second glance. They draw attention only after approaching the line of people queued up outside the IT'SUGAR, an upscale candy shop where Lynch’s latest venture, Beastmode-branded chocolate bars, are about to have their world premiere (hence the Wonka hat, which Lynch wore on national television on \u003cem>Conan\u003c/em> a few nights before).\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/aIGjFwgrid0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/aIGjFwgrid0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>If you are Marshawn Lynch -- recently-retired Super Bowl-winning running back for the Seattle Seahawks, former California Golden Bears and Oakland Tech superstar -- it is apparently possible to be one of Oakland’s most famous sons, and still walk in near-total anonymity through the evening crowd at a busy shopping center just a few blocks from where you grew up, went to school, and first became a celebrity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Near-total, because the 80 people lined up outside the candy shop are definitely here for Lynch, who, at 30 years old, is enjoying a second act as an entrepreneur -- and, increasingly, as an in-demand media personality. This is a role he plays strictly on his own terms, something Marshawn Lynch will enforce within minutes of arriving at the store, where Mitch Grossbach and Jean Thompson, the GMs of Beastmode and Seattle Chocolate, respectively, are already inside waiting on their star.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shortly after the scheduled 4 p.m. start time, after Marshawn has finished greeting all the cashiers and clerks inside and posing for pictures, the line of fans outside starts moving. Inside the store, piles of Beastmode chocolate bars are stacked underneath mannequins dressed in Beastmode leggings and Lynch's new Cal-branded Beastmode shirts. Everyone here will get a chocolate bar, a photo, and a second or two of Lynch's time. No autographs and no interviews will be given -- which gets rid of the two TV cameramen who have shown up, seconds after they film his entrance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38832\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-800x1422.jpg\" alt=\"sign w chocolate\" width=\"800\" height=\"1422\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-800x1422.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-400x711.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-768x1365.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-1440x2560.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-1180x2098.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628-960x1707.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/sign-w-chocolate-e1474910814628.jpg 1836w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More notably, the reception Lynch gives his fans, who have dutifully lined up to get a photo of him in his Wonka hat, depends entirely on who they are. The fawning grown men in Seahawks and Raiders garb, he will politely tolerate; the women he may greet warmly, flashing an electric smile, but the kids -- the kids get the VIP treatment. Lynch mugs with them, prods them into smiles, and breaks the ice if necessary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38834\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"smile w kids\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/smile-w-kids-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I went up there, he said, ‘Don’t be shy -- get over here,’” says Oakland resident Autumn Jacobs, 13. She arrived today with her older sister and her father (who also got a picture with Marshawn, albeit the serious and unsmiling one).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“You think about him as maybe shy or standoffish...I think he is more shy than standoffish,” says Seattle Chocolate’s Thompson, adding that Lynch took a little while to open up before becoming nothing but charming and affable during the yearlong process of launching their product. “I think the press, they take things out of context sometimes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38833\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"grownup not smiling\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grownup-not-smiling-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Seattle, Thompson says, Lynch is a certified A-lister: a big star. (The following day, when Lynch appears in Seattle for the grand opening of a second Beastmode apparel retail location, \"several hundred\" people will show up for autographs). Seattle being a small market, one might think that would make Lynch a niche star, but he's proving otherwise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I didn’t realize his fame and attraction had such legs across the country,” she says. He's quirky and famous enough to have been on O'Brien's show now four times, and he's a big enough name for his personal peccadilloes to become selling points.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38842\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg\" alt=\"i\" width=\"570\" height=\"321\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i.jpg 570w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/i-400x225.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 570px) 100vw, 570px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After it became known that he was an aficionado of Skittles -- his mother would feed him the candy before his schoolboy football games, calling them his “power pills” -- he started appearing in commercials. These days, you can see Lynch next to other current NFL superstars in commercials for XboX, uttering the punchline “Y’all need to work on y’all people skills,\" poking fun at Lynch’s own notorious reticence during his playing days, when he clowned the soundbite-addicted football media with a series of one-answer press conferences. (“I’m just here so I won’t get fined,” he said in response to every question asked at one, a phrase since trademarked and printed on his t-shirts.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_38835\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-38835\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-800x520.jpg\" alt=\"Marshawn Lynch eats Skittles as he addresses the media at Super Bowl XLIX Media Day in 2015.\" width=\"800\" height=\"520\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-800x520.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-400x260.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-768x500.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1440x937.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1920x1249.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-1180x768.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GettyImages-462357436-960x624.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marshawn Lynch eats Skittles as he addresses the media at Super Bowl XLIX Media Day in 2015. \u003ccite>(Christian Petersen/Getty Images)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>The joke is on them now, as Lynch has beaten them at their own game. He clowned them, hard, and the public ate it up, making his celebrity even bigger, his personality more enjoyable. \"I love him,\" says a flushed Melissa Espy, a woman in her thirties, still flustered after her encounter. Espy drove three hours from Monterey County to be the first person in line.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38851\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-800x477.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-09-26 at 11.37.49 AM\" width=\"800\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-800x477.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-400x239.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM-768x458.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-26-at-11.37.49-AM.png 927w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the scene is incredibly mellow. By 5 p.m., the line has dissipated enough for the security guards outside to start rolling up and putting away the retractable belt-line barriers, leading Espy to hop back in line for a second photo. Other fans sit on benches outside in the sun, next to the signs with Lynch’s face advertising his appearance, to compare photos and brag on social media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38836\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"20160923_161047\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1440x810.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/20160923_161047-960x540.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lynch was scheduled to be here another hour. After that, he and Grossbach have a few more hours before they had leave for SFO and the flight north for the Seattle Beastmode grand opening. In between receiving visitors -- by this time, a young girl has become Lynch's companion in all photos -- Grossbach asks Lynch if he wanted some Skittles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Nah,” Lynch said, shaking his head, one arm around the shoulder of the girl, who is all smiles. “I’m good.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, everything that could have happened did. Pinky Ring gave birth, Uncle almost croaked, Backstabber Cousin boinked a prostitute, Demelza lost her V Card, Ross did chores nearly naked, oh yeah, and Ross and Demelza randomly got married and... you know what, it's just too much to list so go back and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">read all about it\u003c/a>. I'll wait...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...Now that we're all caught up, I wonder what's in store for us this time around? Will Ross and Demelza go to Mykonos for their honeymoon, realize Cornwall and everyone in it sucks, and decide to just stay? Will Pinky Ring find out about her boring husband sleeping with a prostitute and pull a Lorena Bobbitt? Will Verity join the old lady with the tarot cards' coven and start punishing some of these a-holes? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza sings and skips in a field. Wouldn't you if you landed a hottie like that for a husband?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are back at home, talking smack about her. They really hope this is like Britney Spears' 55-hour Vegas marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross watches Demelza cook. So she still has to be the maid, even though they're married now? The power dynamics in this relationship are troubling. The look on Ross' face communicates that he agrees. It also communicates, \u003cem>Holy crap, what in the world was I thinking?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He gets over these thoughts though and enters the kitchen, startling Demelza, who's like \u003cem>Ahh, my boss! I mean... my husband? \u003c/em>He flips her around and makes out with her. Demelza is like,\u003cem> I don't have time for this. I have chores!\u003c/em> And he's like,\u003cem> Oh, I have a chore for you to do... \u003c/em>They laugh conspiratorially like horny monsters.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Before you know it, they're naked in bed. So this show is now basically \u003cem>Melrose Place\u003c/em> minus a couple of centuries and LA's warm weather. Got it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Backstabber Cousin's mine, he's breaking all the management training rules. He pushes one of his workers for asking to be paid. Wow. Class act. Ross turns up to remind him of the man he isn't, so Backstabber Cousin naturally goes into a man baby tantrum (his default setting). \u003cem>Waaah! Did my daddy send you to tell me I'm not good enough? Waaaah! Did my wife send you to tell me I'm a bad lay? Waaaah!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, woah.\u003c/em> Before he can say anything else, Backstabber Cousin brags about how much he's \"gaming and whoring.\" \u003cem>Every man does it\u003c/em>, he says. Ross replies, \u003cem>Not me. Spoiler: I got married to a poor person.\u003c/em> Backstabber Cousin is scandalized and secretly so very glad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grinch-stole-christmas.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38260\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grinch-stole-christmas.gif\" alt=\"grinch stole christmas\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin says the obvious things he's supposed to say: \u003cem>But she's so poor! You'll be ruined! And you won't be invited to Christmas dinner! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' response is repetitive but to the point:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy5HQfeQKao\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We get a montage of everyone talking about how \"deranged\" this marriage is. Pinky Ring is in major denial and pretends to play the harp. Verity is eating it all up 'cause now everyone will forget the scandal that was that one single date she went on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even the village prostitute has something to say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> \"Is she beautiful?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...in a way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"so rude kim kardashian gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exsqueeze me?! How very dare you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I'll let it slide because it's directly followed by a quote that's way worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy's Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Doors which were open will be slammed in his face. His ventures will fail. And you can enjoy the sight of him in the gutter, along with his slut.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can an anvil fall on this dude's head already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen tell Demelza this whole thing is weird because she's still technically doing maid things. Demelza agrees and has a freshman-year-of-college-existential-crisis. Who am I?? No, \u003cem>what\u003c/em> am I? *takes a hit of some medicinal weed*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross gets bad news: the mine is not turning up any copper so he needs more funding to continue the digging or whatever. So he goes to meet with his rich donors and it isn't even a full 30 seconds before the village doctor says the following about people who don't have enough to eat: \"Those who cannot feed, should not breed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One more anvil please!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After taking Ross' rash behavior (his teenage misdemeanors, his freakout at Jim's trial, his marriage to a poor person) into consideration, some of the rich dudes decide not to give him any more money for the mine. Two dudes hand over some cash either because they're nice or they just felt too awkward to say no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross gets home, he gives Demelza a gift. It's a book. Um, who's gonna tell him she can't read? \"To practice your letters!\" I'm pretty sure handing an illiterate person a copy of\u003cem> Ulysses\u003c/em> and expecting them to be educated by the mere sight of all the weird squiggly shapes on the page isn't how that works. He also gives her ribbon to tie up her \"unruly mane.\" Ross is cute and all, but he's not really good at this whole not-making-a-woman-feel-like-total-crap thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this exchange about their nascent marriage happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Nothing's changed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Nothing??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I do get less sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"addams family eyebrow raise gif\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This next scene speaks for itself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle is struggling to get on a horse to go see his mine.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Dr. Choke ordered bed rest!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Dr. Choke doesn't have a failing mind or a son whose neither use nor ornament!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Touched by your faith, father.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Not sufficiently touched to act like a man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle's roast is interrupted by another heart attack.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If one must die, one might as well go down talking sh*t about Backstabber Cousin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross has a bit of a problem. You see, Demelza still acts like a poor person because marrying someone doesn't instantly change everything about you (imagine that!). She goes to the mine and says something about sticking a fork in her eye (soooo unladylike!) and she wrestles Mr. Pigpen to the ground for eating one of her pies (soooo unbecoming!). But Ross has a solution because he always does. I bet it involves hiring someone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there it is! He decides to hire recently incarcerated Jim's baby mama a.k.a. Child Bride to be Demelza's lady's maid. Having someone to look down on and order around should have her acting like an entitled rich person in no time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross heads over to hang out with his dying uncle. When he gets there, the doctor is bloodletting Uncle. Umm, I was an English major, but I'm pretty sure that's not the right thing to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle, Verity and Ross talk about Ross' new marriage. Verity, down chick that she is, is thrilled for all the right reasons and congratulates Ross warmly. And then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Francis especially was quick to see the advantage...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Father!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Of what?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"A wife to divert you. He feels it marginally less likely that you'll ride over and steal Pinky Ring from him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>: \"Father, compose yourself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA OHHHHH MY HEART!!!!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle has yet another heart attack.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his death bed, Uncle tells Ross: \"We both know Backstabber Cousin is not the man you are.\" Damn. The only person who dislikes Backstabber Cousin more than me is his own father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the funeral, Backstabber Cousin basically hocks a loogie on his father's fresh grave:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"He'll be missed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Not by me. Is it terrible to feel nothing but relief?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, yeah, I'd say so. At this rate, Backstabber Cousin is going to turn into the monster from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/08/can-disagreeing-over-stranger-things-lead-to-divorce-probably/\">\u003cem>Stranger Things\u003c/em>\u003c/a> by the end of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/monster-meme-stranger-things-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38369\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/monster-meme-stranger-things-gif.gif\" alt=\"monster meme stranger things gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the funeral reception, the old lady with the tarot cards says Uncle probably died because he ate too much custard. Considering that the \"doctor\" was casually bloodletting, I'll take her medical opinion over his.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, Malfoy and his uncle do what they do best: say super rude things loud enough for everyone to hear. Malfoy, who's supposed to be Backstabber Cousin's BFF, even name drops the prostitute they both have been sharing. Why do these two keep getting invites? Block them! Unfollow! Good day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring does what she does best: feeling sorry for herself, while looking out a window. Verity interrupts her moping to say one of them has to go downstairs and play the hostess and it probably should be Pinky Ring because she's the mistress of the house and Verity is blacklisted as a harlot for going on one innocent date with a man who kind of sort of murdered his wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It soon becomes clear that all Pinky Ring's moping isn't about the person who just died at all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"She didn't come. His wife...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"This isn't the occasion.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"Will you give him my good wishes?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Shouldn't you do that yourself?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity keeps it so real. She is the patron saint of \"Girl, really?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/latrice-girl-really-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38370\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/latrice-girl-really-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"latrice girl really gif drag race\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin continues to be evil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You must be relieved.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"How?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You're not the only one to disgrace the family with an unsuitable attachment.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hit 'em with another one, Verity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/girl-really-jujubee-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38377\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/girl-really-jujubee-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"girl really jujubee gif drag race\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy continues the tradition of being the mosquito that won't stop buzzing in your ear while you're sleeping. Ross is unbothered and basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/harry-potter-who-are-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38378\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/harry-potter-who-are-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"harry potter who are you gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy gets even by cornering the disgraced doctor and buying his shares in Ross' mine from him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some days later, Ross has a surprise for Demelza: Verity is coming over for a slumber party! Demelza immediately has an anxiety attack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All three of them sit for lunch and Verity catches them up on what's been going on at her house: Pinky Ring has been playing the harp (zzz), Pinky Ring has been speaking French to the baby (zzzzz), Verity has her needlework (zzzzzzzz) and old lady with the tarot cards, whose name is apparently Agatha, has her spinning (zzzzzzzzzzzz). While these fancy 18th century ladies have been bored out of their minds, Backstabber Cousin has been \"often away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/darla-can-crush-gif-little-rascals.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38385\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/darla-can-crush-gif-little-rascals.gif\" alt=\"darla can crush gif little rascals\" width=\"390\" height=\"219\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross decides to go to work because the idea of forcing Verity and Demelza to make awkward cross-class small talk is hilarious. Verity is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/dont-leave-me-here-orange-is-the-new-black-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38386\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/dont-leave-me-here-orange-is-the-new-black-gif.gif\" alt=\"don't leave me here orange is the new black gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, they can't find copper and are running out of money. Sounds like it's time for Ross to take my earlier advice of turning the mine into a spot where hipsters can buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices. He could make a fortune!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza and Verity are needlepointing in awkward silence. Demelza wonders what a fancy lady would do and thinks,\u003cem> I know! I'll ring the maid bell! I'll ask for tea! Fancy ladies love super hot beverages you spend 25 minutes blowing on and only 1 minute actually enjoying! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Faux pas alert: it's way too early for tea! Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After what seems like an eternity, the girls get to the real talk. Demelza is like, \u003cem>You think I'm trash, right?\u003c/em> And Verity is like, \u003cem>No, you are perfect for Ross. You're like his Rachel, you know? Oh, of course you don't know, that TV couple won't be imagined for some time. Anyway, you seem cool.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like at most slumber parties, talk turns to love and boys. Demelza doesn't believe Ross will ever truly love her but:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When we're abed, I have reason to believe I please him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38388\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"verity shocked poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-1440x794.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-1180x651.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity is to a gospel hymn as Demelza is to Salt n Pepa's \"Let's Talk About Sex.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she's not judgmental 'cause she's a down chick with a heart of gold. \"Do you think I care a jot where you come from or who your father is or how well you curtsey?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity then teaches Demelza how to curtsey, dance, and set a table. It's basically a mash-up of the first parts of \u003cem>My Fair Lady\u003c/em> and \u003cem>The Princess Diaries. \u003c/em>Cute overload.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"lauren conrad aww gif\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, despite the limits of time and space, Beyonce's impact is still felt in 18th century Cornwall:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/779435919979925504\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Demelza asks if they can get Verity and the captain back together. Ross says no, strips naked and enjoys some kinky newlywed sex. That's certainly one way to answer a simple question.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Verity is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/get-in-loser-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38390\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/get-in-loser-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"get in loser mean girls gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"337\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They go to Mood Fabrics to pick out material for a hot new dress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On their way home, Verity asks, \u003cem>Dude, what's wrong. You suffering from buyers remorse or something?\u003c/em> Demelza says, \u003cem>God no, nothing like that! I just won't get to wear the dress for much longer 'cause I'm super duper pregnant! \u003c/em>Verity is like,\u003cem> I'm combelling!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, everyone in the region is freaking out over something. Bells are ringing, people are running and shouting, some dude is waving branches in the air like a lunatic. Ross rushes home and tells Demelza to quickly jump on his horse. She chooses this moment to have a heart-to-heart about how she feels he's always disappointed in her. Ross is like, \u003cem>Girl, you are tripping, now get on.\u003c/em> She's like \u003cem>Good talk\u003c/em> and gets on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out all the commotion was about the fishermen coming back with tons and tons of seafood! No one will starve this winter! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, word on the street is that the bloodletting doctor is talking a lot of mess about Ross' marriage and trying to convince others to stop financing his mine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/michelle-full-house-haters-gonna-hate-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38397\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/michelle-full-house-haters-gonna-hate-gif.gif\" alt=\"michelle full house haters gonna hate gif\" width=\"473\" height=\"341\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time passes. Winter comes. Demelza throws up a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An invitation to Christmas dinner from Backstabber Cousin comes in the mail. Demelza is like, \u003cem>HARD PASS!\u003c/em> But Ross RSVPs anyway because men know best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the time comes, Demelza enters Backstabber Cousin's house and feels French-peasants-storming-Versailles feelings. Pinky Ring appears and everyone is expecting this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_leazlv0T901qe4ty6o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38399\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_leazlv0T901qe4ty6o1_400.gif\" alt=\"gossip girl purse throw gif fight\" width=\"350\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this happens instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_lli6dj08jC1qibbuw.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38400\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_lli6dj08jC1qibbuw.gif\" alt=\"gossip girl excited hug gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Solidarity, sister!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But things take a turn for the awkward when Tarot Card Agatha asks Demelza a bunch of questions that only rich people know the answer to. She's not doing it to be mean; she's just kind of senile, which explains why she says this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Go and sit by Pinky Ring so I can see how you measure up.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha decides, \u003cem>Ehhh, B minus.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin bullies Pinky Ring for no reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You think I don't know what you're about. Taking her under your wing, making her your friend. Oh, Ross, see how kind and generous I am? Look at what a pearl you've lost!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"You're being ridiculous.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin: \"\u003c/strong>Am I?!?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, so did a demonic spirit take over Backstabber Cousin's body or something? He was low-key deplorable in the beginning of the series, but this is some Scar-throwing-his-own-brother-off-a-cliff kind of evil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different bedroom, a package arrives for Demelza. It's the dress she ordered on her shopping trip with Verity! I really hope there are harem pants in that box.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Ross hangs out with Pinky Ring like they didn't used to think they were soul mates. Pinky Ring complains about how Backstabber Cousin is gambling away all their money and having lots of sex that doesn't involve her. Ross is in the middle of being scandalized when Backstabber Cousin walks in and is like, \u003cem>Hey, y'all. Whatcha talking about? Derp derp derp.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Demelza is having another anxiety attack. What if she morning-sicknesses all over her new dress at dinner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, there's a knock on the door. Uninvited guests on Christmas, how very gauche! It's Malfoy, his uncle, that thirsty girl who is still upset that Ross didn't want to dance with her that one time, and some random. Oh, goodie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for dinner. Everyone is about to sit down when a shadow at the door appears. Decked out in her brand new dress, Demelza walks into the dining room like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/violet-chacki-drag-race-dress-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/violet-chacki-drag-race-dress-gif.gif\" alt=\"violet chacki drag race dress gif\" width=\"375\" height=\"212\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone thinks, \u003cem>Slay, queen, slay!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dinner is served and the thirsty girl doesn't waste any time throwing digs Demelza's way. She brings up what a scandal the marriage was, how maids are always getting ideas of rising above their station, how any unwed woman above 23 should just kill herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, who is 25, dies a little inside. I wish Verity would stand up, splash wine in this girl's face and say, \"'Tis my Christmas wish for you to get the F out of my house. Now scram!\" But this is 18th century England so she doesn't say anything. :-*(\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Pinky Ring plays the harp while everyone tries to stay awake. When she's done, Thirsty Girl grabs Demelza and tries to force her to play a lick on the harp too. Surely her governess taught her, right? Grrrrr.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross mentions that Demelza can sing and forces her to audition for \u003cem>The Voice\u003c/em> with no warning. She thinks, \u003cem>Oh, what the hell\u003c/em> and lets a folk song rip. She is the Tori Amos of her time and everyone is spell-bound, even the haters. They all think, \u003cem>I'll totally buy her album on iTunes, and I never pay for music anymore.\u003c/em> Nice try, Thirsty Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross and Demelza are walking home and hear bells coming from the mine. Did a canary die? Turns out no. But they found a crazy amount of copper though! Everyone laughs and hugs in slow motion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross is so happy that he finally tells Demelza that he loves her. Demelza tells him that she's pregnant. They have sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirsty Girl: \u003c/strong>This (dis)honor almost went to Backstabber Cousin because duh, but his dad just died, so I'll cut him some slack. If there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women (like \u003cdel>Taylor Swift\u003c/del> Madeleine Albright said), Thirsty Girl certainly lives there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>The Prostitute\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Anyone who has to sleep with an insufferable bore like Backstabber Cousin that much deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Whoever Found The Copper: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Now maybe we won't have to hear about the mine every other minute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Kudos on the runway walk and the song. A star is born!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Between her \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em> moments and her consistent kindness, what's not to love? I hope she gets to have sex before she dies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Ross' ex and his new girl have to spend Christmas together. Someone dies. These two things may or may not be related.",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, everything that could have happened did. Pinky Ring gave birth, Uncle almost croaked, Backstabber Cousin boinked a prostitute, Demelza lost her V Card, Ross did chores nearly naked, oh yeah, and Ross and Demelza randomly got married and... you know what, it's just too much to list so go back and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">read all about it\u003c/a>. I'll wait...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...Now that we're all caught up, I wonder what's in store for us this time around? Will Ross and Demelza go to Mykonos for their honeymoon, realize Cornwall and everyone in it sucks, and decide to just stay? Will Pinky Ring find out about her boring husband sleeping with a prostitute and pull a Lorena Bobbitt? Will Verity join the old lady with the tarot cards' coven and start punishing some of these a-holes? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza sings and skips in a field. Wouldn't you if you landed a hottie like that for a husband?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are back at home, talking smack about her. They really hope this is like Britney Spears' 55-hour Vegas marriage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross watches Demelza cook. So she still has to be the maid, even though they're married now? The power dynamics in this relationship are troubling. The look on Ross' face communicates that he agrees. It also communicates, \u003cem>Holy crap, what in the world was I thinking?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He gets over these thoughts though and enters the kitchen, startling Demelza, who's like \u003cem>Ahh, my boss! I mean... my husband? \u003c/em>He flips her around and makes out with her. Demelza is like,\u003cem> I don't have time for this. I have chores!\u003c/em> And he's like,\u003cem> Oh, I have a chore for you to do... \u003c/em>They laugh conspiratorially like horny monsters.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Before you know it, they're naked in bed. So this show is now basically \u003cem>Melrose Place\u003c/em> minus a couple of centuries and LA's warm weather. Got it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Backstabber Cousin's mine, he's breaking all the management training rules. He pushes one of his workers for asking to be paid. Wow. Class act. Ross turns up to remind him of the man he isn't, so Backstabber Cousin naturally goes into a man baby tantrum (his default setting). \u003cem>Waaah! Did my daddy send you to tell me I'm not good enough? Waaaah! Did my wife send you to tell me I'm a bad lay? Waaaah!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, woah.\u003c/em> Before he can say anything else, Backstabber Cousin brags about how much he's \"gaming and whoring.\" \u003cem>Every man does it\u003c/em>, he says. Ross replies, \u003cem>Not me. Spoiler: I got married to a poor person.\u003c/em> Backstabber Cousin is scandalized and secretly so very glad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grinch-stole-christmas.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38260\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/grinch-stole-christmas.gif\" alt=\"grinch stole christmas\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin says the obvious things he's supposed to say: \u003cem>But she's so poor! You'll be ruined! And you won't be invited to Christmas dinner! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' response is repetitive but to the point:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Wy5HQfeQKao'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Wy5HQfeQKao'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>We get a montage of everyone talking about how \"deranged\" this marriage is. Pinky Ring is in major denial and pretends to play the harp. Verity is eating it all up 'cause now everyone will forget the scandal that was that one single date she went on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even the village prostitute has something to say.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> \"Is she beautiful?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"...in a way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-10.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"so rude kim kardashian gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exsqueeze me?! How very dare you!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I'll let it slide because it's directly followed by a quote that's way worse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy's Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Doors which were open will be slammed in his face. His ventures will fail. And you can enjoy the sight of him in the gutter, along with his slut.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can an anvil fall on this dude's head already?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen tell Demelza this whole thing is weird because she's still technically doing maid things. Demelza agrees and has a freshman-year-of-college-existential-crisis. Who am I?? No, \u003cem>what\u003c/em> am I? *takes a hit of some medicinal weed*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross gets bad news: the mine is not turning up any copper so he needs more funding to continue the digging or whatever. So he goes to meet with his rich donors and it isn't even a full 30 seconds before the village doctor says the following about people who don't have enough to eat: \"Those who cannot feed, should not breed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One more anvil please!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After taking Ross' rash behavior (his teenage misdemeanors, his freakout at Jim's trial, his marriage to a poor person) into consideration, some of the rich dudes decide not to give him any more money for the mine. Two dudes hand over some cash either because they're nice or they just felt too awkward to say no.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross gets home, he gives Demelza a gift. It's a book. Um, who's gonna tell him she can't read? \"To practice your letters!\" I'm pretty sure handing an illiterate person a copy of\u003cem> Ulysses\u003c/em> and expecting them to be educated by the mere sight of all the weird squiggly shapes on the page isn't how that works. He also gives her ribbon to tie up her \"unruly mane.\" Ross is cute and all, but he's not really good at this whole not-making-a-woman-feel-like-total-crap thing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this exchange about their nascent marriage happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Nothing's changed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Nothing??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I do get less sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"addams family eyebrow raise gif\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This next scene speaks for itself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle is struggling to get on a horse to go see his mine.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Dr. Choke ordered bed rest!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Dr. Choke doesn't have a failing mind or a son whose neither use nor ornament!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Touched by your faith, father.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Not sufficiently touched to act like a man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle's roast is interrupted by another heart attack.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If one must die, one might as well go down talking sh*t about Backstabber Cousin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross has a bit of a problem. You see, Demelza still acts like a poor person because marrying someone doesn't instantly change everything about you (imagine that!). She goes to the mine and says something about sticking a fork in her eye (soooo unladylike!) and she wrestles Mr. Pigpen to the ground for eating one of her pies (soooo unbecoming!). But Ross has a solution because he always does. I bet it involves hiring someone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there it is! He decides to hire recently incarcerated Jim's baby mama a.k.a. Child Bride to be Demelza's lady's maid. Having someone to look down on and order around should have her acting like an entitled rich person in no time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Ross heads over to hang out with his dying uncle. When he gets there, the doctor is bloodletting Uncle. Umm, I was an English major, but I'm pretty sure that's not the right thing to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle, Verity and Ross talk about Ross' new marriage. Verity, down chick that she is, is thrilled for all the right reasons and congratulates Ross warmly. And then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"Francis especially was quick to see the advantage...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Father!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Of what?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"A wife to divert you. He feels it marginally less likely that you'll ride over and steal Pinky Ring from him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>: \"Father, compose yourself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA OHHHHH MY HEART!!!!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>[Uncle has yet another heart attack.]\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his death bed, Uncle tells Ross: \"We both know Backstabber Cousin is not the man you are.\" Damn. The only person who dislikes Backstabber Cousin more than me is his own father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the funeral, Backstabber Cousin basically hocks a loogie on his father's fresh grave:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"He'll be missed.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Not by me. Is it terrible to feel nothing but relief?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, yeah, I'd say so. At this rate, Backstabber Cousin is going to turn into the monster from \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/08/can-disagreeing-over-stranger-things-lead-to-divorce-probably/\">\u003cem>Stranger Things\u003c/em>\u003c/a> by the end of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/monster-meme-stranger-things-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38369\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/monster-meme-stranger-things-gif.gif\" alt=\"monster meme stranger things gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the funeral reception, the old lady with the tarot cards says Uncle probably died because he ate too much custard. Considering that the \"doctor\" was casually bloodletting, I'll take her medical opinion over his.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, Malfoy and his uncle do what they do best: say super rude things loud enough for everyone to hear. Malfoy, who's supposed to be Backstabber Cousin's BFF, even name drops the prostitute they both have been sharing. Why do these two keep getting invites? Block them! Unfollow! Good day!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring does what she does best: feeling sorry for herself, while looking out a window. Verity interrupts her moping to say one of them has to go downstairs and play the hostess and it probably should be Pinky Ring because she's the mistress of the house and Verity is blacklisted as a harlot for going on one innocent date with a man who kind of sort of murdered his wife.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It soon becomes clear that all Pinky Ring's moping isn't about the person who just died at all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"She didn't come. His wife...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"This isn't the occasion.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"Will you give him my good wishes?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Shouldn't you do that yourself?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity keeps it so real. She is the patron saint of \"Girl, really?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/latrice-girl-really-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38370\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/latrice-girl-really-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"latrice girl really gif drag race\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin continues to be evil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You must be relieved.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"How?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You're not the only one to disgrace the family with an unsuitable attachment.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hit 'em with another one, Verity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/girl-really-jujubee-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38377\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/girl-really-jujubee-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"girl really jujubee gif drag race\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy continues the tradition of being the mosquito that won't stop buzzing in your ear while you're sleeping. Ross is unbothered and basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/harry-potter-who-are-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38378\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/harry-potter-who-are-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"harry potter who are you gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy gets even by cornering the disgraced doctor and buying his shares in Ross' mine from him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some days later, Ross has a surprise for Demelza: Verity is coming over for a slumber party! Demelza immediately has an anxiety attack.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All three of them sit for lunch and Verity catches them up on what's been going on at her house: Pinky Ring has been playing the harp (zzz), Pinky Ring has been speaking French to the baby (zzzzz), Verity has her needlework (zzzzzzzz) and old lady with the tarot cards, whose name is apparently Agatha, has her spinning (zzzzzzzzzzzz). While these fancy 18th century ladies have been bored out of their minds, Backstabber Cousin has been \"often away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/darla-can-crush-gif-little-rascals.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38385\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/darla-can-crush-gif-little-rascals.gif\" alt=\"darla can crush gif little rascals\" width=\"390\" height=\"219\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross decides to go to work because the idea of forcing Verity and Demelza to make awkward cross-class small talk is hilarious. Verity is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/dont-leave-me-here-orange-is-the-new-black-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38386\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/dont-leave-me-here-orange-is-the-new-black-gif.gif\" alt=\"don't leave me here orange is the new black gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"193\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, they can't find copper and are running out of money. Sounds like it's time for Ross to take my earlier advice of turning the mine into a spot where hipsters can buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices. He could make a fortune!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Demelza and Verity are needlepointing in awkward silence. Demelza wonders what a fancy lady would do and thinks,\u003cem> I know! I'll ring the maid bell! I'll ask for tea! Fancy ladies love super hot beverages you spend 25 minutes blowing on and only 1 minute actually enjoying! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Faux pas alert: it's way too early for tea! Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After what seems like an eternity, the girls get to the real talk. Demelza is like, \u003cem>You think I'm trash, right?\u003c/em> And Verity is like, \u003cem>No, you are perfect for Ross. You're like his Rachel, you know? Oh, of course you don't know, that TV couple won't be imagined for some time. Anyway, you seem cool.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like at most slumber parties, talk turns to love and boys. Demelza doesn't believe Ross will ever truly love her but:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"When we're abed, I have reason to believe I please him.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-38388\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-800x441.png\" alt=\"verity shocked poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"441\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-800x441.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-1440x794.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-1180x651.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-23-at-2.35.01-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity is to a gospel hymn as Demelza is to Salt n Pepa's \"Let's Talk About Sex.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But she's not judgmental 'cause she's a down chick with a heart of gold. \"Do you think I care a jot where you come from or who your father is or how well you curtsey?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity then teaches Demelza how to curtsey, dance, and set a table. It's basically a mash-up of the first parts of \u003cem>My Fair Lady\u003c/em> and \u003cem>The Princess Diaries. \u003c/em>Cute overload.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"lauren conrad aww gif\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, despite the limits of time and space, Beyonce's impact is still felt in 18th century Cornwall:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>That night, Demelza asks if they can get Verity and the captain back together. Ross says no, strips naked and enjoys some kinky newlywed sex. That's certainly one way to answer a simple question.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Verity is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/get-in-loser-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38390\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/get-in-loser-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"get in loser mean girls gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"337\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They go to Mood Fabrics to pick out material for a hot new dress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On their way home, Verity asks, \u003cem>Dude, what's wrong. You suffering from buyers remorse or something?\u003c/em> Demelza says, \u003cem>God no, nothing like that! I just won't get to wear the dress for much longer 'cause I'm super duper pregnant! \u003c/em>Verity is like,\u003cem> I'm combelling!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, everyone in the region is freaking out over something. Bells are ringing, people are running and shouting, some dude is waving branches in the air like a lunatic. Ross rushes home and tells Demelza to quickly jump on his horse. She chooses this moment to have a heart-to-heart about how she feels he's always disappointed in her. Ross is like, \u003cem>Girl, you are tripping, now get on.\u003c/em> She's like \u003cem>Good talk\u003c/em> and gets on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out all the commotion was about the fishermen coming back with tons and tons of seafood! No one will starve this winter! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, word on the street is that the bloodletting doctor is talking a lot of mess about Ross' marriage and trying to convince others to stop financing his mine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/michelle-full-house-haters-gonna-hate-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38397\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/michelle-full-house-haters-gonna-hate-gif.gif\" alt=\"michelle full house haters gonna hate gif\" width=\"473\" height=\"341\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time passes. Winter comes. Demelza throws up a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>An invitation to Christmas dinner from Backstabber Cousin comes in the mail. Demelza is like, \u003cem>HARD PASS!\u003c/em> But Ross RSVPs anyway because men know best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When the time comes, Demelza enters Backstabber Cousin's house and feels French-peasants-storming-Versailles feelings. Pinky Ring appears and everyone is expecting this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_leazlv0T901qe4ty6o1_400.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38399\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_leazlv0T901qe4ty6o1_400.gif\" alt=\"gossip girl purse throw gif fight\" width=\"350\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this happens instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_lli6dj08jC1qibbuw.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38400\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_lli6dj08jC1qibbuw.gif\" alt=\"gossip girl excited hug gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Solidarity, sister!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But things take a turn for the awkward when Tarot Card Agatha asks Demelza a bunch of questions that only rich people know the answer to. She's not doing it to be mean; she's just kind of senile, which explains why she says this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Go and sit by Pinky Ring so I can see how you measure up.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha decides, \u003cem>Ehhh, B minus.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Backstabber Cousin bullies Pinky Ring for no reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"You think I don't know what you're about. Taking her under your wing, making her your friend. Oh, Ross, see how kind and generous I am? Look at what a pearl you've lost!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Pinky Ring:\u003c/strong> \"You're being ridiculous.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin: \"\u003c/strong>Am I?!?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, so did a demonic spirit take over Backstabber Cousin's body or something? He was low-key deplorable in the beginning of the series, but this is some Scar-throwing-his-own-brother-off-a-cliff kind of evil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a different bedroom, a package arrives for Demelza. It's the dress she ordered on her shopping trip with Verity! I really hope there are harem pants in that box.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Ross hangs out with Pinky Ring like they didn't used to think they were soul mates. Pinky Ring complains about how Backstabber Cousin is gambling away all their money and having lots of sex that doesn't involve her. Ross is in the middle of being scandalized when Backstabber Cousin walks in and is like, \u003cem>Hey, y'all. Whatcha talking about? Derp derp derp.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Demelza is having another anxiety attack. What if she morning-sicknesses all over her new dress at dinner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, there's a knock on the door. Uninvited guests on Christmas, how very gauche! It's Malfoy, his uncle, that thirsty girl who is still upset that Ross didn't want to dance with her that one time, and some random. Oh, goodie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for dinner. Everyone is about to sit down when a shadow at the door appears. Decked out in her brand new dress, Demelza walks into the dining room like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/violet-chacki-drag-race-dress-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/violet-chacki-drag-race-dress-gif.gif\" alt=\"violet chacki drag race dress gif\" width=\"375\" height=\"212\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone thinks, \u003cem>Slay, queen, slay!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dinner is served and the thirsty girl doesn't waste any time throwing digs Demelza's way. She brings up what a scandal the marriage was, how maids are always getting ideas of rising above their station, how any unwed woman above 23 should just kill herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, who is 25, dies a little inside. I wish Verity would stand up, splash wine in this girl's face and say, \"'Tis my Christmas wish for you to get the F out of my house. Now scram!\" But this is 18th century England so she doesn't say anything. :-*(\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Pinky Ring plays the harp while everyone tries to stay awake. When she's done, Thirsty Girl grabs Demelza and tries to force her to play a lick on the harp too. Surely her governess taught her, right? Grrrrr.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross mentions that Demelza can sing and forces her to audition for \u003cem>The Voice\u003c/em> with no warning. She thinks, \u003cem>Oh, what the hell\u003c/em> and lets a folk song rip. She is the Tori Amos of her time and everyone is spell-bound, even the haters. They all think, \u003cem>I'll totally buy her album on iTunes, and I never pay for music anymore.\u003c/em> Nice try, Thirsty Girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross and Demelza are walking home and hear bells coming from the mine. Did a canary die? Turns out no. But they found a crazy amount of copper though! Everyone laughs and hugs in slow motion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross is so happy that he finally tells Demelza that he loves her. Demelza tells him that she's pregnant. They have sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirsty Girl: \u003c/strong>This (dis)honor almost went to Backstabber Cousin because duh, but his dad just died, so I'll cut him some slack. If there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women (like \u003cdel>Taylor Swift\u003c/del> Madeleine Albright said), Thirsty Girl certainly lives there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>The Prostitute\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Anyone who has to sleep with an insufferable bore like Backstabber Cousin that much deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Whoever Found The Copper: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Now maybe we won't have to hear about the mine every other minute.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Kudos on the runway walk and the song. A star is born!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Between her \u003cem>Girl, really?\u003c/em> moments and her consistent kindness, what's not to love? I hope she gets to have sex before she dies.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"slug": "cy-and-davids-picks-a-composer-at-80-an-uncomfortable-comedy-about-race-and-a-magical-musical-world",
"title": "Cy and David's Picks: A Composer at 80, an Uncomfortable Comedy About Race, and a Magical, Musical World",
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"headTitle": "Cy and David’s Picks: A Composer at 80, an Uncomfortable Comedy About Race, and a Magical, Musical World | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cp>[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/284193182″ params=”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false” width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>KQED’s Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week.\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxEsC8wTO6Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 29:\u003c/strong> Another great American composer known for groundbreaking work in minimalism is turning 80. We mentioned Steve Reich \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2016/09/01/cy-and-davids-picks-an-icon-of-minimalism-a-standup-politician-and-a-cure-for-those-post-labor-day-back-to-work-blues/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a few weeks ago\u003c/a> — now it’s\u003ca href=\"http://philipglass.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Philip Glass\u003c/a>’ turn. And you can celebrate his still-dexterous fingers as he joins four other pianists to play all 20 of Glass’ piano études. He’s working with a terrific team, including the Bay Area’s \u003ca href=\"http://sarahcahill.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Sarah Cahill, \u003c/a>jazz pianist \u003ca href=\"http://www.aarondiehl.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Aaron Diehl\u003c/a>, and Jenny Lin. Glass does a pre-show chat with Stanford Live’s executive director Chris Lorway; I hope he talks about his days driving cab in New York. Tickets for this Bing Hall Concert are scarce, so act fast. Details \u003ca href=\"https://live.stanford.edu/calendar/september-2016/complete-piano-%C3%A9tudes-philip-glass\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12104803\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12104803\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Richard Clifford and Derek Jacobi in 'Measure and Dido' coming to the Napa Valley Performing Arts Center and Weill Hall at Sonoma State\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-400x267.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-960x640.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Richard Clifford and Derek Jacobi in ‘Measure and Dido’ coming to the Napa Valley Performing Arts Center and Weill Hall at Sonoma State \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Folger Shakespeare Library)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 24 and 25\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_Jacobi\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Derek Jacobi \u003c/a>could have retired after making \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/archive/39/39.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I, Claudius\u003c/a>\u003c/em> in 1976, and people would still be talking about how good he was in that BBC series. But he’s still working (\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/program/vicious/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>Vicious\u003c/em>\u003c/a> with Ian McKellen), and he’s the biggest star in a touring show from the Folger Shakespeare Library, a fascinating mashup of Shakespeare’s \u003cem>Measure for Measure\u003c/em> with Purcell’s opera \u003cem>Dido and Aeneas\u003c/em>. Jacobi stars with his partner \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0166678/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Richard Clifford\u003c/a>, who also directs the show, and musicians of the Folger Consort. This is a coup for the North Bay. The \u003ca href=\"http://lincolntheater.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Napa Valley Performing Center\u003c/a> in Yountville gets the world premiere, Saturday. Details \u003ca href=\"http://lincolntheater.com/vbo/?page=selectevent&eid=14227&edid=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a> And then \u003ca href=\"http://gmc.sonoma.edu/events-by-date\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Weill Hall \u003c/a>at Sonoma State in Rohnert Park gets the second performance. Details \u003ca href=\"http://gmc.sonoma.edu/event/3156910-shakespeare-s-400th-excerpts-from-measure-for\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-YaWE0zu-c\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-Oct. 9\u003c/strong>: A musical adaptation of \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em>. Is Jane Austen rolling in her grave? Well, at least there are no zombies. This production from the scrappy \u003ca href=\"http://iamtheatre.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">IAM Theatre\u003c/a> is also a chance to support a local favorite. The songs in \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice the Musical \u003c/em>are by \u003ca href=\"http://www.ritaabrams.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rita Abrams\u003c/a>, the former Mill Valley schoolteacher priced out of town a few years ago, and the composer of the hit song “Mill Valley.” Details for this North American premiere are \u003ca href=\"http://www.prideandprejudicemusical.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS2MJwmBB5Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-25\u003c/strong>: The \u003ca href=\"http://www.dresherensemble.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Paul Dresher Ensemble \u003c/a>is always pushing the boundaries of music and theater. This time, they’ve enlisted percussionist \u003ca href=\"http://sfcmp.org/steven-schick/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Steven Schick \u003c/a>(artistic director for the San Francisco Contemporary Music Players) to shake and bang on a battery of one-of-a-kind instruments in what they’re calling “Schick Experiment,” directed by \u003ca href=\"http://www.rindeeckert.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rinde Eckert. \u003c/a>The instruments are as expressive as Schick himself: everything from a piece of sheet metal on a pogo stick to the Hurdy Grande, the Field of Flowers, and the Peacock (a deconstructed pipe organ). The idea seems to be to have fun with sound. We radio people applaud. Details \u003ca href=\"http://www.zspace.org/schick-machine/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://vimeo.com/18516286\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 22-Oct 15\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"http://youngjeanlee.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Young Jean Lee\u003c/a> wrote her play \u003cem>The Shipment\u003c/em> back in in 2007, but it feels totally fresh today. It’s about racial stereotyping in American culture, and it premiered before President Obama was inaugurated, before Black Lives matter, and before #OscarsSoWhite, yet Lee told me that she’s shocked at how little has changed since then. “It’s much more disturbing to me now than it was back then,” she says. “You know the issues that it’s addressing hurt more, because we should have gotten further by now.” Lee said she loves the dynamic of how mixed audiences (black and white) watching the show end up also watching each other, trying to gauge how to react. Maybe you should bring a friend. Details for the show’s run at \u003ca href=\"http://www.crowdedfire.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Crowded Fire Theater\u003c/a> are \u003ca href=\"//www.crowdedfire.org/2016-the-shipment/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12104607\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12104607\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Richmond Art Center Celebrates its 80th Anniversary\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-960x540.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Richmond Art Center Celebrates its 80th Anniversary \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Richmond Art Center )\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-Nov. 12\u003c/strong>: Another 80th birthday now, this time for one of the Bay Area’s best and most innovative art centers. The \u003ca href=\"http://richmondartcenter.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Richmond Art Center \u003c/a>celebrates with the show \u003cem>Making Our Mark\u003c/em> by some of the great artists who’ve shown there, and their students, featuring work by \u003ca href=\"http://www.hungliu.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hung Liu, \u003c/a>Christopher Brown, Squeak Carnwath, Enrique Chagoya, William T. Wiley, and more. This evening the RAC celebrates its role teaching art to thousands of local school kids, with a \u003cem>Back to School Community Celebration\u003c/em> with art-making and food. Tomorrow the \u003ca href=\"http://delsolquartet.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Del Sol Quartet \u003c/a>plays music by Terry Riley at 2pm — just ten bucks for that. Details for the gallery show and other goodies are \u003ca href=\"http://richmondartcenter.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHyLiZTMmqg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"https://deadprezblog.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dead Prez\u003c/a> is the duo of M1 and stic.man, and their music mixes social justice with pan-Africanism. In fact they make \u003ca href=\"http://publicenemy.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Public Enemy\u003c/a> look like pussy cats, with lyrics like “You wanna stop terrorists, start with U.S. imperialists.” When he was on Comedy Central, Dave Chapelle opened each episode of \u003cem>Chapelle’s Show\u003c/em> with an instrumental version of the Dead Prez song \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jNyr6BJZuI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">“Hip-Hop.”\u003c/a> They haven’t released an album in a while, but I’m glad they’re touring. Details for their show at the Uptown Nightclub in Oakland are \u003ca href=\"http://www.uptownnightclub.com/event/dead-prez/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "KQED's Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week, including Philip Glass, Young Jean Lee, the Paul Dresher Ensemble, Dead Prez and more.",
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"title": "Cy and David's Picks: A Composer at 80, an Uncomfortable Comedy About Race, and a Magical, Musical World | KQED",
"description": "KQED's Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week, including Philip Glass, Young Jean Lee, the Paul Dresher Ensemble, Dead Prez and more.",
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"headline": "Cy and David's Picks: A Composer at 80, an Uncomfortable Comedy About Race, and a Magical, Musical World",
"datePublished": "2016-09-22T17:00:03-07:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cdiv class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__shortcodes__shortcodeWrapper'>\n \u003ciframe width='”100%”' height='”166″'\n scrolling='no' frameborder='no'\n src='https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/284193182″&visual=true&”color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false”'\n title='”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/284193182″'>\n \u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/div>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch4>KQED’s Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week.\u003c/h4>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/lxEsC8wTO6Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/lxEsC8wTO6Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 29:\u003c/strong> Another great American composer known for groundbreaking work in minimalism is turning 80. We mentioned Steve Reich \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/arts/2016/09/01/cy-and-davids-picks-an-icon-of-minimalism-a-standup-politician-and-a-cure-for-those-post-labor-day-back-to-work-blues/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a few weeks ago\u003c/a> — now it’s\u003ca href=\"http://philipglass.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Philip Glass\u003c/a>’ turn. And you can celebrate his still-dexterous fingers as he joins four other pianists to play all 20 of Glass’ piano études. He’s working with a terrific team, including the Bay Area’s \u003ca href=\"http://sarahcahill.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Sarah Cahill, \u003c/a>jazz pianist \u003ca href=\"http://www.aarondiehl.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Aaron Diehl\u003c/a>, and Jenny Lin. Glass does a pre-show chat with Stanford Live’s executive director Chris Lorway; I hope he talks about his days driving cab in New York. Tickets for this Bing Hall Concert are scarce, so act fast. Details \u003ca href=\"https://live.stanford.edu/calendar/september-2016/complete-piano-%C3%A9tudes-philip-glass\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12104803\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12104803\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"Richard Clifford and Derek Jacobi in 'Measure and Dido' coming to the Napa Valley Performing Arts Center and Weill Hall at Sonoma State\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-400x267.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-1180x787.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-1920x1280.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Clifford-and-Jacobi-960x640.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Richard Clifford and Derek Jacobi in ‘Measure and Dido’ coming to the Napa Valley Performing Arts Center and Weill Hall at Sonoma State \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Folger Shakespeare Library)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 24 and 25\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derek_Jacobi\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Derek Jacobi \u003c/a>could have retired after making \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/archive/39/39.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">I, Claudius\u003c/a>\u003c/em> in 1976, and people would still be talking about how good he was in that BBC series. But he’s still working (\u003ca href=\"http://www.pbs.org/program/vicious/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>Vicious\u003c/em>\u003c/a> with Ian McKellen), and he’s the biggest star in a touring show from the Folger Shakespeare Library, a fascinating mashup of Shakespeare’s \u003cem>Measure for Measure\u003c/em> with Purcell’s opera \u003cem>Dido and Aeneas\u003c/em>. Jacobi stars with his partner \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0166678/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Richard Clifford\u003c/a>, who also directs the show, and musicians of the Folger Consort. This is a coup for the North Bay. The \u003ca href=\"http://lincolntheater.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Napa Valley Performing Center\u003c/a> in Yountville gets the world premiere, Saturday. Details \u003ca href=\"http://lincolntheater.com/vbo/?page=selectevent&eid=14227&edid=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a> And then \u003ca href=\"http://gmc.sonoma.edu/events-by-date\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Weill Hall \u003c/a>at Sonoma State in Rohnert Park gets the second performance. Details \u003ca href=\"http://gmc.sonoma.edu/event/3156910-shakespeare-s-400th-excerpts-from-measure-for\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/w-YaWE0zu-c'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/w-YaWE0zu-c'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-Oct. 9\u003c/strong>: A musical adaptation of \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em>. Is Jane Austen rolling in her grave? Well, at least there are no zombies. This production from the scrappy \u003ca href=\"http://iamtheatre.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">IAM Theatre\u003c/a> is also a chance to support a local favorite. The songs in \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice the Musical \u003c/em>are by \u003ca href=\"http://www.ritaabrams.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rita Abrams\u003c/a>, the former Mill Valley schoolteacher priced out of town a few years ago, and the composer of the hit song “Mill Valley.” Details for this North American premiere are \u003ca href=\"http://www.prideandprejudicemusical.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/qS2MJwmBB5Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/qS2MJwmBB5Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-25\u003c/strong>: The \u003ca href=\"http://www.dresherensemble.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Paul Dresher Ensemble \u003c/a>is always pushing the boundaries of music and theater. This time, they’ve enlisted percussionist \u003ca href=\"http://sfcmp.org/steven-schick/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Steven Schick \u003c/a>(artistic director for the San Francisco Contemporary Music Players) to shake and bang on a battery of one-of-a-kind instruments in what they’re calling “Schick Experiment,” directed by \u003ca href=\"http://www.rindeeckert.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rinde Eckert. \u003c/a>The instruments are as expressive as Schick himself: everything from a piece of sheet metal on a pogo stick to the Hurdy Grande, the Field of Flowers, and the Peacock (a deconstructed pipe organ). The idea seems to be to have fun with sound. We radio people applaud. Details \u003ca href=\"http://www.zspace.org/schick-machine/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 22-Oct 15\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"http://youngjeanlee.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Young Jean Lee\u003c/a> wrote her play \u003cem>The Shipment\u003c/em> back in in 2007, but it feels totally fresh today. It’s about racial stereotyping in American culture, and it premiered before President Obama was inaugurated, before Black Lives matter, and before #OscarsSoWhite, yet Lee told me that she’s shocked at how little has changed since then. “It’s much more disturbing to me now than it was back then,” she says. “You know the issues that it’s addressing hurt more, because we should have gotten further by now.” Lee said she loves the dynamic of how mixed audiences (black and white) watching the show end up also watching each other, trying to gauge how to react. Maybe you should bring a friend. Details for the show’s run at \u003ca href=\"http://www.crowdedfire.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Crowded Fire Theater\u003c/a> are \u003ca href=\"//www.crowdedfire.org/2016-the-shipment/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12104607\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12104607\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"Richmond Art Center Celebrates its 80th Anniversary\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-1920x1080.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary-960x540.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Richmond-Art-Center-Celebrates-its-80th-Anniversary.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Richmond Art Center Celebrates its 80th Anniversary \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Richmond Art Center )\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23-Nov. 12\u003c/strong>: Another 80th birthday now, this time for one of the Bay Area’s best and most innovative art centers. The \u003ca href=\"http://richmondartcenter.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Richmond Art Center \u003c/a>celebrates with the show \u003cem>Making Our Mark\u003c/em> by some of the great artists who’ve shown there, and their students, featuring work by \u003ca href=\"http://www.hungliu.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Hung Liu, \u003c/a>Christopher Brown, Squeak Carnwath, Enrique Chagoya, William T. Wiley, and more. This evening the RAC celebrates its role teaching art to thousands of local school kids, with a \u003cem>Back to School Community Celebration\u003c/em> with art-making and food. Tomorrow the \u003ca href=\"http://delsolquartet.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Del Sol Quartet \u003c/a>plays music by Terry Riley at 2pm — just ten bucks for that. Details for the gallery show and other goodies are \u003ca href=\"http://richmondartcenter.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IHyLiZTMmqg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IHyLiZTMmqg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sept. 23\u003c/strong>: \u003ca href=\"https://deadprezblog.wordpress.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dead Prez\u003c/a> is the duo of M1 and stic.man, and their music mixes social justice with pan-Africanism. In fact they make \u003ca href=\"http://publicenemy.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Public Enemy\u003c/a> look like pussy cats, with lyrics like “You wanna stop terrorists, start with U.S. imperialists.” When he was on Comedy Central, Dave Chapelle opened each episode of \u003cem>Chapelle’s Show\u003c/em> with an instrumental version of the Dead Prez song \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jNyr6BJZuI\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">“Hip-Hop.”\u003c/a> They haven’t released an album in a while, but I’m glad they’re touring. Details for their show at the Uptown Nightclub in Oakland are \u003ca href=\"http://www.uptownnightclub.com/event/dead-prez/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"slug": "carl-sagans-intergalactic-mix-tape-could-be-reissued-on-vinyl",
"title": "Carl Sagan's Intergalactic Mix Tape Could be Reissued on Vinyl",
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"headTitle": "Carl Sagan’s Intergalactic Mix Tape Could be Reissued on Vinyl | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cp>Somewhere out there, billions and billions of miles from Earth, two Voyager spacecraft are hurtling towards the back of beyond at a rate of more than 35,000 miles per hour. They were sent into outer space in 1977 to take pictures of Jupiter and Saturn — but also in the hopes that maybe, somewhere beyond our solar system, aliens might spot the craft and wonder “Who the heck made those?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should that happen, each craft holds a copy of a golden record that included, among other things, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-greetings-to-the\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">human greetings\u003c/a> recorded in more than 50 languages, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-sounds-of\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sounds peculiar to Earth\u003c/a>, and a selection of greatest musical hits as selected by a team of scientists led by astronomer, astrophysicist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Sagan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now a California-based team has launched a \u003ca href=\"https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ozmarecords/voyager-golden-record-40th-anniversary-edition\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kickstarter campaign\u003c/a> to produce a vinyl version in time for the 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches in late August next year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Pescovitz, co-editor and managing partner of the tech news website \u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boing Boing\u003c/a>, and a research director at the nonprofit \u003ca title=\"Website for Institute for the Future.\" href=\"http://www.iftf.org/\">Institute for the Future\u003c/a> is leading the effort\u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">.\u003c/a> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pescovitz says “In a time when we spend so much of our lives in mediated experiences, we wanted to create something beautiful and tangible that embodies the spirit and magic of the original golden record that right now is 13 billion miles away from this planet. With the other one right on its tail.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The hard work was done in the 1970s\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The original records are gold-plated copper disks, packaged inside aluminum cases, designed to survive for a billion years. Just a dozen copies were made, and even fewer are available for public perusal at places like the Smithsonian’s \u003ca href=\"https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/voyager-spacecraft-mock-full-scale\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Air and Space Museum\u003c/a> in Washington and the \u003ca href=\"http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/goldenrec.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jet Propulsion Laboratory\u003c/a> in Pasadena.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100596\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth - minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-960x541.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth – minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Lawrence Azerrad/LADesign)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>How do you decide what to put on an album for the consumption of an unknown life form? Dr. Sagan, who\u003ca title=\"Carl Sagan obituary\" href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/1996/12/21/us/carl-sagan-an-astronomer-who-excelled-at-popularizing-science-is-dead-at-62.html\"> died in 1996\u003c/a>, called it a “bottle cast into the cosmic ocean.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had a lot of help, including from the creative director of the project, Ann Druyan, who later \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2010/02/12/123534818/carl-sagan-and-ann-druyans-ultimate-mix-tape\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">married Sagan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Sagan and his associates assembled 115 images as well as about 90 minutes of music, ranging from Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry, to selections like a 2,500-year-old Chinese folk song called “Flowing Stream.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Sagan wrote a book about the Golden Record, called \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Murmurs-Earth-Voyager-Interstellar-Record/dp/0345315367\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Murmurs of Earth\u003c/a>, which is considered definitive. But a complete copy of the compilation you can hold in your grubby hands has not been issued since a CD-ROM in 1992 by Warner News Media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">[contextly_sidebar id=”o1lqIXGYjYFAGeaaa0T3M6ayFrwr7iB7″]”This was intended as a gift from humanity to the cosmos,” Pescovitz says. “But it’s also a gift to humanity: a reminder of what we can do when we are at our best. That reminder is perhaps more necessary and relevant today than it was even then.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Collecting the music and photography rights constitutes the biggest challenge. Pescovitz teamed up with Timothy Daly, a manager at Amoeba Music in San Francisco, and \u003ca href=\"http://laddesign.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lawrence Azerrad\u003c/a>, a graphic designer who has created packaging for Miles Davis, The Beach Boys, Wilco and others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“This was one of the more utopian endeavors of humanity,” says Azerrad, noting the golden record left out the ugly bits of human experience, like war and famine. That may have something to do with the record’s enduring appeal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“In a lot of ways, it embodies a type of thinking much harder to find in today’s world. We’ve kind of lost that aspiration to look at who we are as a human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100598\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg\" alt=\"Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project.\" width=\"800\" height=\"479\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-400x239.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-768x460.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut.jpg 942w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Jon Lomberg)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003cstrong>Golden Record Take Two\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Pescovitz and company aren’t the only ones inspired by the upcoming 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Jon Lomberg, the design director for the original project, is spearheading another, this one to be crowd-sourced. Called \u003ca href=\"http://oneearthmessage.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">One Earth\u003c/a>, the idea is to transmit the message to \u003ca href=\"http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Horizons\u003c/a>, another NASA spacecraft headed out of the solar system. “The whole world has changed so much since the 1970s,” Lomberg says. Why not put out something that reflects the ways we have changed since then?\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Somewhere out there, billions and billions of miles from Earth, two Voyager spacecraft are hurtling towards the back of beyond at a rate of more than 35,000 miles per hour. They were sent into outer space in 1977 to take pictures of Jupiter and Saturn — but also in the hopes that maybe, somewhere beyond our solar system, aliens might spot the craft and wonder “Who the heck made those?”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Should that happen, each craft holds a copy of a golden record that included, among other things, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-greetings-to-the\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">human greetings\u003c/a> recorded in more than 50 languages, \u003ca href=\"https://soundcloud.com/nasa/sets/golden-record-sounds-of\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">sounds peculiar to Earth\u003c/a>, and a selection of greatest musical hits as selected by a team of scientists led by astronomer, astrophysicist and Pulitzer Prize-winning author Carl Sagan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now a California-based team has launched a \u003ca href=\"https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ozmarecords/voyager-golden-record-40th-anniversary-edition\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kickstarter campaign\u003c/a> to produce a vinyl version in time for the 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches in late August next year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>David Pescovitz, co-editor and managing partner of the tech news website \u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Boing Boing\u003c/a>, and a research director at the nonprofit \u003ca title=\"Website for Institute for the Future.\" href=\"http://www.iftf.org/\">Institute for the Future\u003c/a> is leading the effort\u003ca href=\"http://boingboing.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">.\u003c/a> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pescovitz says “In a time when we spend so much of our lives in mediated experiences, we wanted to create something beautiful and tangible that embodies the spirit and magic of the original golden record that right now is 13 billion miles away from this planet. With the other one right on its tail.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>The hard work was done in the 1970s\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The original records are gold-plated copper disks, packaged inside aluminum cases, designed to survive for a billion years. Just a dozen copies were made, and even fewer are available for public perusal at places like the Smithsonian’s \u003ca href=\"https://airandspace.si.edu/collection-objects/voyager-spacecraft-mock-full-scale\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">National Air and Space Museum\u003c/a> in Washington and the \u003ca href=\"http://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/spacecraft/goldenrec.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jet Propulsion Laboratory\u003c/a> in Pasadena.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100596\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg\" alt=\"The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth - minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-800x450.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-400x225.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-768x432.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21187_Voyagerjacketcover4-qut-960x541.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The records on the Voyager spacecraft contain sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth – minus the yucky bits like war and famine. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Lawrence Azerrad/LADesign)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>How do you decide what to put on an album for the consumption of an unknown life form? Dr. Sagan, who\u003ca title=\"Carl Sagan obituary\" href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/1996/12/21/us/carl-sagan-an-astronomer-who-excelled-at-popularizing-science-is-dead-at-62.html\"> died in 1996\u003c/a>, called it a “bottle cast into the cosmic ocean.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He had a lot of help, including from the creative director of the project, Ann Druyan, who later \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2010/02/12/123534818/carl-sagan-and-ann-druyans-ultimate-mix-tape\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">married Sagan\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Sagan and his associates assembled 115 images as well as about 90 minutes of music, ranging from Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos and “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry, to selections like a 2,500-year-old Chinese folk song called “Flowing Stream.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Sagan wrote a book about the Golden Record, called \u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Murmurs-Earth-Voyager-Interstellar-Record/dp/0345315367\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Murmurs of Earth\u003c/a>, which is considered definitive. But a complete copy of the compilation you can hold in your grubby hands has not been issued since a CD-ROM in 1992 by Warner News Media.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>”This was intended as a gift from humanity to the cosmos,” Pescovitz says. “But it’s also a gift to humanity: a reminder of what we can do when we are at our best. That reminder is perhaps more necessary and relevant today than it was even then.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Collecting the music and photography rights constitutes the biggest challenge. Pescovitz teamed up with Timothy Daly, a manager at Amoeba Music in San Francisco, and \u003ca href=\"http://laddesign.net/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lawrence Azerrad\u003c/a>, a graphic designer who has created packaging for Miles Davis, The Beach Boys, Wilco and others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“This was one of the more utopian endeavors of humanity,” says Azerrad, noting the golden record left out the ugly bits of human experience, like war and famine. That may have something to do with the record’s enduring appeal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">“In a lot of ways, it embodies a type of thinking much harder to find in today’s world. We’ve kind of lost that aspiration to look at who we are as a human race.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12100598\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12100598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg\" alt=\"Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project.\" width=\"800\" height=\"479\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-800x479.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-400x239.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut-768x460.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/RS21190_jon-lomberg-today-qut.jpg 942w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jon Lomberg, design director for the Voyager Gold Records, sports one of the many t-shirts inspired by the project. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of Jon Lomberg)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">\u003cstrong>Golden Record Take Two\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Pescovitz and company aren’t the only ones inspired by the upcoming 40th anniversary of the Voyager launches.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Jon Lomberg, the design director for the original project, is spearheading another, this one to be crowd-sourced. Called \u003ca href=\"http://oneearthmessage.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">One Earth\u003c/a>, the idea is to transmit the message to \u003ca href=\"http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Horizons\u003c/a>, another NASA spacecraft headed out of the solar system. “The whole world has changed so much since the 1970s,” Lomberg says. Why not put out something that reflects the ways we have changed since then?\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Why Is Everyone So Obsessed with LaCroix and Mercury in Retrograde?",
"title": "Why Is Everyone So Obsessed with LaCroix and Mercury in Retrograde?",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>We get to the bottom of the crazes. Also, why are people in SF paying $1,800 to sleep in a bunk bed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/09/LaCroixx.mp3\" title=\"Why Is Everyone So Obsessed with LaCroix and Mercury in Retrograde?\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>What's up with LaCroix's sudden popularity? I dig up the answer:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-38111 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"la croix gif\" width=\"1080\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carly takes \u003ca href=\"http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/s/suntzu384112.html\">Sun Tzu's \"Know your enemy\" advice\u003c/a> to heart and goes deep into the Mercury in retrograde phenomenon:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37120\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\" alt=\"taylor swift retrograde\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jamedra has good news for all you fellow anxious people out there:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37119\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\" alt=\"raven\" width=\"267\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We share scary tales of bunk beds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\" alt=\"step-brothers-bunk-beds-o\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I fawn over this fan fawning over Taylor Swift:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/TSwiftNZ/status/775510775007891456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with Flume's \"Never Be Like You\":\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KPnyf8vwXI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/dear-listeners-of-the-cooler-please-take-our-cute-little-survey/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37120\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/3-u8g1LUP-1414526808-1421949705.gif\" alt=\"taylor swift retrograde\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jamedra has good news for all you fellow anxious people out there:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37119\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raven.gif\" alt=\"raven\" width=\"267\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We share scary tales of bunk beds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/step-brothers-bunk-beds-o.gif\" alt=\"step-brothers-bunk-beds-o\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I fawn over this fan fawning over Taylor Swift:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with Flume's \"Never Be Like You\":\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/-KPnyf8vwXI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/-KPnyf8vwXI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Sometimes the world can feel a bit uniform: the same department stores in every shopping mall, the same fast food chains on every corner. The website \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Atlas Obscura\u003c/a> will make you reconsider that sense of monotony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is still this huge, bizarre, vast place filled with astounding stuff,” says co-founder Dylan Thuras. “And if you sort of tilt your view a little bit and start looking for it, you start finding it everywhere.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras’ new book, also called \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em>, is a guide to the world’s hidden wonders — like a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/vent-haven-museum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ventriloquist dummy museum in Kentucky\u003c/a> or a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-gates-of-hell\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">230-foot-wide hole in Turkmenistan\u003c/a> that’s been on fire for 40 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That’s an amazing place,” Thuras says. “And it’s kind of one of these places that when you find out it exists, you’re a little bit surprised you didn’t know it existed before.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you don’t have go all the way to Turkmenistan to see these places; Thuras says there’s plenty of wonder in your own backyard. To prove it, he took NPR on a tour of the wonders in \u003cem>his\u003c/em> backyard: Manhattan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras starts his tour on the 6 train. “Basically, you stay on the 6 train after its last stop [Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall],” he says. “You’re able to look out the subway car windows and see the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/city-hall-station-mro\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">City Hall station\u003c/a>, which is one of the most beautiful subway stations ever created. It’s been shuttered since 1945, but it is this immaculate space. It’s this little piece of lost New York grandeur.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. (For the best view, \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em> recommends sitting in the 7th, 8th or 9th car.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next stop is an artwork by Walter De Maria. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-new-york-earth-room\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Earth Room\u003c/a>, “which is what it sounds like,” Thuras says: “It is 280,000 pounds of dirt that has been sitting in a room in a SoHo loft.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12096239\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-800x532.jpg\" alt=\"Manhattan's long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12096239\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Manhattan’s long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. \u003ccite>(Photo: Julian Dunn/Flickr)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A little sign outside instructs visitors to buzz in and walk up to the second floor. There, they’ll find a loft in which the entire floor is covered in “rich, nicely groomed-looking dirt,” as Thuras describes it. Somebody has raked and misted the dirt every week since De Maria created the work in 1977. “It’s got the real smell of a forest floor,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spanish tourist Juan Carlos Fernandez’s visit coincided with NPR’s. He says he’s wanted to visit the Earth Room since 1986, “but for different reasons every time we were here in the city, we couldn’t.” Was it worth the 30-year wait? Fernandez says yes. “I am so thrilled right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Earth Room, it’s time for lunch at the kind of restaurant Atlas Obscura loves. “We are going to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/el-sabroso\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">El Sabroso\u003c/a>, which is a small South American lunch counter in a freight elevator entrance,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The restaurant is in Midtown in a sort of loading dock. Behind the counter, a cook tends to eight pots bubbling on a small stove. Seating consists of a long folding table with plastic chairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras says, “In a way, there’s a history here because Midtown has always been home to garment workers and people, you know, who were kind of working on a tighter budget, and that’s still true today. So there’s a few remaining … old school lunch counters where you can get a great meal for like $6. … And it’s killer. It’s like super killer.” (He’s not kidding. It was the best $6 lunch this reporter has had in a long time.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras is the kind of traveler who will pack every minute of a day with experiences. After lunch, he leads NPR to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/toynbee-tiles-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mysterious tiles embedded in the roadway\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/gimbel-s-bridge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a shuttered art deco skywalk\u003c/a> that is completely sealed off to the world and the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-conjuring-arts-research-center\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Conjuring Arts Research Center\u003c/a>, one of the world’s largest collections of books about magic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last stop on his tour is an easily overlooked wonder in the middle of Times Square. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-times-square-hum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Times Square Hum\u003c/a> and it comes from under a metal grate on a pedestrian island. (You can hear it for yourself in the audio story above.) An artist named Max Neuhaus created it almost 40 years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s this kind of sonic secret, just tucked away,” Thuras says. “Almost nobody stops and says, ‘What is that strange noise?’ ” Because, of course, the Hum is surrounded by noise: car horns, street performers, crowds, squeaking brakes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For me, it sort of serves as this wonderful reminder that in the middle of all this madness — in what I think most people would find the most commercial, least sort of whimsical or magical place in Manhattan — is this kind of little gem waiting for you if you’re willing to sort of slow down, look around, listen and kind of start asking questions.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Does he ever worry about Atlas Obscura running out of wonders to write about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We asked ourselves this question at the start,” Thuras says, “and so far the answer seems to be: It is infinite.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Atlas+Obscura%27+Tour+Of+Manhattan+Finds+Hidden+Wonders+In+A+Well-Trodden+Place&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Sometimes the world can feel a bit uniform: the same department stores in every shopping mall, the same fast food chains on every corner. The website \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Atlas Obscura\u003c/a> will make you reconsider that sense of monotony.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“The world is still this huge, bizarre, vast place filled with astounding stuff,” says co-founder Dylan Thuras. “And if you sort of tilt your view a little bit and start looking for it, you start finding it everywhere.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras’ new book, also called \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em>, is a guide to the world’s hidden wonders — like a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/vent-haven-museum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ventriloquist dummy museum in Kentucky\u003c/a> or a \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-gates-of-hell\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">230-foot-wide hole in Turkmenistan\u003c/a> that’s been on fire for 40 years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“That’s an amazing place,” Thuras says. “And it’s kind of one of these places that when you find out it exists, you’re a little bit surprised you didn’t know it existed before.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you don’t have go all the way to Turkmenistan to see these places; Thuras says there’s plenty of wonder in your own backyard. To prove it, he took NPR on a tour of the wonders in \u003cem>his\u003c/em> backyard: Manhattan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras starts his tour on the 6 train. “Basically, you stay on the 6 train after its last stop [Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall],” he says. “You’re able to look out the subway car windows and see the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/city-hall-station-mro\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">City Hall station\u003c/a>, which is one of the most beautiful subway stations ever created. It’s been shuttered since 1945, but it is this immaculate space. It’s this little piece of lost New York grandeur.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. (For the best view, \u003cem>Atlas Obscura\u003c/em> recommends sitting in the 7th, 8th or 9th car.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next stop is an artwork by Walter De Maria. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-new-york-earth-room\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Earth Room\u003c/a>, “which is what it sounds like,” Thuras says: “It is 280,000 pounds of dirt that has been sitting in a room in a SoHo loft.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12096239\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-800x532.jpg\" alt=\"Manhattan's long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles.\" width=\"800\" height=\"532\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12096239\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/Atlas-Obscura-Flckr-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Manhattan’s long-shuttered City Hall subway station has hanging chandeliers and arched ceilings that are covered in green and white tiles. \u003ccite>(Photo: Julian Dunn/Flickr)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>A little sign outside instructs visitors to buzz in and walk up to the second floor. There, they’ll find a loft in which the entire floor is covered in “rich, nicely groomed-looking dirt,” as Thuras describes it. Somebody has raked and misted the dirt every week since De Maria created the work in 1977. “It’s got the real smell of a forest floor,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Spanish tourist Juan Carlos Fernandez’s visit coincided with NPR’s. He says he’s wanted to visit the Earth Room since 1986, “but for different reasons every time we were here in the city, we couldn’t.” Was it worth the 30-year wait? Fernandez says yes. “I am so thrilled right now.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the Earth Room, it’s time for lunch at the kind of restaurant Atlas Obscura loves. “We are going to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/el-sabroso\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">El Sabroso\u003c/a>, which is a small South American lunch counter in a freight elevator entrance,” Thuras says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The restaurant is in Midtown in a sort of loading dock. Behind the counter, a cook tends to eight pots bubbling on a small stove. Seating consists of a long folding table with plastic chairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras says, “In a way, there’s a history here because Midtown has always been home to garment workers and people, you know, who were kind of working on a tighter budget, and that’s still true today. So there’s a few remaining … old school lunch counters where you can get a great meal for like $6. … And it’s killer. It’s like super killer.” (He’s not kidding. It was the best $6 lunch this reporter has had in a long time.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thuras is the kind of traveler who will pack every minute of a day with experiences. After lunch, he leads NPR to \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/toynbee-tiles-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">mysterious tiles embedded in the roadway\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/gimbel-s-bridge\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">a shuttered art deco skywalk\u003c/a> that is completely sealed off to the world and the \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-conjuring-arts-research-center\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Conjuring Arts Research Center\u003c/a>, one of the world’s largest collections of books about magic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last stop on his tour is an easily overlooked wonder in the middle of Times Square. It’s called \u003ca href=\"http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-times-square-hum\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the Times Square Hum\u003c/a> and it comes from under a metal grate on a pedestrian island. (You can hear it for yourself in the audio story above.) An artist named Max Neuhaus created it almost 40 years ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s this kind of sonic secret, just tucked away,” Thuras says. “Almost nobody stops and says, ‘What is that strange noise?’ ” Because, of course, the Hum is surrounded by noise: car horns, street performers, crowds, squeaking brakes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“For me, it sort of serves as this wonderful reminder that in the middle of all this madness — in what I think most people would find the most commercial, least sort of whimsical or magical place in Manhattan — is this kind of little gem waiting for you if you’re willing to sort of slow down, look around, listen and kind of start asking questions.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Does he ever worry about Atlas Obscura running out of wonders to write about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We asked ourselves this question at the start,” Thuras says, “and so far the answer seems to be: It is infinite.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Atlas+Obscura%27+Tour+Of+Manhattan+Finds+Hidden+Wonders+In+A+Well-Trodden+Place&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "A Comics Convention for the Unconventional: The Small Press Expo",
"headTitle": "A Comics Convention for the Unconventional: The Small Press Expo | KQED",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>Additional reporting by LA Johnson.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve attended the Small Press Expo, or SPX, for 10 years now. This year, I convinced NPR to let me take a reporting kit and interview attendees about what drew them to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(You can check out more photos, illustrations and interviews with creators from the 2016 Small Press Expo on the \u003ca href=\"http://nprillustration.tumblr.com/\">NPR Illustrations Tumblr\u003c/a> over the coming days and weeks.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In theory, SPX seems a lot like many of the other comic-cons that have been popping up across the country over the last few years. There’s the vast exhibit floor, there’s a packed schedule of panels and spotlights featuring interviews of, and discussions between, various comics creators. People mill about, lugging bags loaded down with stuff they’ve bought, or find an empty patch of carpeted hallway on which to plop themselves and rest while perusing their purchases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you close your eyes, its sounds a lot like any other con: the low, steady murmur of voices punctuated by the occasional exclamation of delight or surprise from someone who’s stumbling across an old friend — or a new passion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the moment you open your eyes, you’re reminded that SPX isn’t like most other cons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s smaller, for one thing — the big shows in San Diego and New York attract upwards of 130,000 people, and SPX’s attendance is closer to 3,000. It fills the huge ballroom at a hotel in North Bethesda, Maryland, but unlike other comic-cons, where companies build massive booths that tower over you with video screens, loudly hawking all manner of comics-adjacent stuff like toys, games, statues and t-shirts, everything at SPX is at eye-level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hip-level, technically, as it’s just rows and rows of folding tables piled with comics and artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095859\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095859\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-400x265.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-768x508.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-1180x781.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-960x636.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Funkier, Smaller, More Approachable\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just a way to sell comics or buy comics,” said Whit Taylor, from New York City. “It’s also a social event … a chance to catch up with people, and meet new people both during the show and after the show and that’s kind of the most meaningful part to me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whit came not just to buy comics, but to connect with the people who make them. And SPX is built around making exactly that happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a convention for independent comics. People define “indie comics” differently, but for our purposes: not Marvel, and not DC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I like that it kinda sticks to just comics,” Whit said. “That’s how it started out. I know that shows can kinda go in different directions. I’m happy to see merch here and there, but I like that it’s just about independent artists or small presses.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some small presses \u003cem>do\u003c/em> set up tables at the Small Press Expo, fittingly enough — publishers like Drawn and Quarterly and Fantagraphics are SPX staples — but mostly, it’s men and women sitting or standing behind the tables, grinning earnestly at passersby to get them to stop and sample their work. That work could be a handsomely bound graphic novel, a print, or, in many cases, a mini-comic that they’ve drawn and copied and stapled together themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Elizabeth drove up from Williamsburg, Virginia, and she appreciated that many of these comics are made without the usual gatekeepers — which affects who gets to make them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I really like about this one so far is that there’s a lot more queer comics,” she said, “a lot more comics by women here, specifically women of color, that’s what stuck out to me the most.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Liz Hathaway from Philadelphia came to support the creators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s independent comics, you know I give a lot of credit to a lot of these artists because they really believe in what they’re doing,” she said. “They have a passion for it, they’re spending a lot of their own money and resources to promote themselves so they must believe in themselves, and I like that independent, alternative type of comic.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Liz is also here for a more practical reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m trying to get a feel of how they promote themselves,” she said. “I have a comic called \u003cem>The Hellwood Kids\u003c/em>, and it’s coming out next year, so I’m trying to get a feel of, you know. How they lay out everything and they show their comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Con About The Craft of Comics-Making\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turned out that Liz, and Whit Taylor, and 18 out of the 25 people I approached at random last weekend, make comics themselves. (Three of those 25 turned out to be NPR interns — make of that what you will.) That’s something else that sets this con apart, and has since it began in 1994.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Well it was started by a bunch of local DC people who basically revolted against the mainstream superhero conventions,” said Warren Bernard, Executive Director of SPX. “They were like, why can’t we independent comics people get together with self-published people … and they had their first con over in Silver Spring back in 1994.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason it grew to its current size, he said, is that today, “Many more people are activated by comics that aren’t superheroes — now that’s not taking anything away from superhero comics, I happen to like reading them — but there’s this other universe that’s everything but. And that’s what SPX is all about: everything but superheroes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the people who come to SPX each year are not looking to score big Hollywood development deals. They’re driven by a different ethos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think that’s part of what keeps SPX a little bit separate is that, you know, people are here for the art and the craft,” he said. “Whether you’re an attendee coming in and wanting to do stuff yourself, or you’re a creator that’s hanging out with all the other creators or just an attendee that kind of enjoys it, that is the thing that ties everyone together is the art and the craft, kinda combined.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095860\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095860\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-768x511.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-1180x786.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-960x639.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Stepping Stone to Wider Success\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which is not to say that big development deals don’t happen. Cartoon Network, Disney and Nickelodeon send people to SPX every year to scout for talent. Rebecca Sugar, who created the TV show \u003cem>Steven Universe\u003c/em>, put in her time behind a table at SPX. So did Lisa Hanawalt, whose distinctive character designs can now be seen on the Netflix series \u003cem>Bojack Horseman\u003c/em>. Raina Telgemeier sold her mini-comics here, back in the day, as did many other creators who’ve gone on to huge commercial success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several established indie comics creators said they love coming back to SPX, for various reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Honestly [we come to SPX] because it’s part of the world that we live in, and that we came up in, and it’s cool to see all these people doing what they want to do instead of what they have to do for money,” said Jaime Hernandez, half of Los Bros Hernandez, the team behind the venerable, and venerated, alt-series \u003cem>Love and Rockets\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I have really liked about SPX is it’s a comics festival which is more or less only about the things that I like about comics,” said Tom Gauld, creator of deadpan comics marvels \u003cem>You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Mooncop\u003c/em>. “It’s not about movies of comics, it’s not about toys related to comics, it’s not about superhero comics, it’s more or less about whatever you call the thing that I do. It’s the kind of indie comics literary comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SPX isn’t \u003cem>completely\u003c/em> unlike other cons — you’ll likely leave having dropped a healthy chunk of change on books and art. But people like Bailey Kung, who started coming to SPX as a volunteer and is now a member of the executive board, leave with something else as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s definitely inspiring to be here,” she told me, “everyone is making such awesome work, it does make me want to go home and draw something.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Comics+Convention+For+The+Unconventional%3A+The+Small+Press+Expo+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>Additional reporting by LA Johnson.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve attended the Small Press Expo, or SPX, for 10 years now. This year, I convinced NPR to let me take a reporting kit and interview attendees about what drew them to the show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(You can check out more photos, illustrations and interviews with creators from the 2016 Small Press Expo on the \u003ca href=\"http://nprillustration.tumblr.com/\">NPR Illustrations Tumblr\u003c/a> over the coming days and weeks.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In theory, SPX seems a lot like many of the other comic-cons that have been popping up across the country over the last few years. There’s the vast exhibit floor, there’s a packed schedule of panels and spotlights featuring interviews of, and discussions between, various comics creators. People mill about, lugging bags loaded down with stuff they’ve bought, or find an empty patch of carpeted hallway on which to plop themselves and rest while perusing their purchases.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you close your eyes, its sounds a lot like any other con: the low, steady murmur of voices punctuated by the occasional exclamation of delight or surprise from someone who’s stumbling across an old friend — or a new passion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the moment you open your eyes, you’re reminded that SPX isn’t like most other cons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s smaller, for one thing — the big shows in San Diego and New York attract upwards of 130,000 people, and SPX’s attendance is closer to 3,000. It fills the huge ballroom at a hotel in North Bethesda, Maryland, but unlike other comic-cons, where companies build massive booths that tower over you with video screens, loudly hawking all manner of comics-adjacent stuff like toys, games, statues and t-shirts, everything at SPX is at eye-level.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hip-level, technically, as it’s just rows and rows of folding tables piled with comics and artwork.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095859\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit.\" width=\"800\" height=\"530\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095859\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-800x530.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-400x265.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-768x508.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-1180x781.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74-960x636.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-3_enl-b862e97d57eb3bba7e68cc080bd931654d963a74.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo holds a yearly lottery for some of the tables, which allows for new artists to exhibit. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Funkier, Smaller, More Approachable\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s not just a way to sell comics or buy comics,” said Whit Taylor, from New York City. “It’s also a social event … a chance to catch up with people, and meet new people both during the show and after the show and that’s kind of the most meaningful part to me.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whit came not just to buy comics, but to connect with the people who make them. And SPX is built around making exactly that happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a convention for independent comics. People define “indie comics” differently, but for our purposes: not Marvel, and not DC.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I like that it kinda sticks to just comics,” Whit said. “That’s how it started out. I know that shows can kinda go in different directions. I’m happy to see merch here and there, but I like that it’s just about independent artists or small presses.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some small presses \u003cem>do\u003c/em> set up tables at the Small Press Expo, fittingly enough — publishers like Drawn and Quarterly and Fantagraphics are SPX staples — but mostly, it’s men and women sitting or standing behind the tables, grinning earnestly at passersby to get them to stop and sample their work. That work could be a handsomely bound graphic novel, a print, or, in many cases, a mini-comic that they’ve drawn and copied and stapled together themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Elizabeth drove up from Williamsburg, Virginia, and she appreciated that many of these comics are made without the usual gatekeepers — which affects who gets to make them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I really like about this one so far is that there’s a lot more queer comics,” she said, “a lot more comics by women here, specifically women of color, that’s what stuck out to me the most.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Liz Hathaway from Philadelphia came to support the creators.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s independent comics, you know I give a lot of credit to a lot of these artists because they really believe in what they’re doing,” she said. “They have a passion for it, they’re spending a lot of their own money and resources to promote themselves so they must believe in themselves, and I like that independent, alternative type of comic.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Liz is also here for a more practical reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I’m trying to get a feel of how they promote themselves,” she said. “I have a comic called \u003cem>The Hellwood Kids\u003c/em>, and it’s coming out next year, so I’m trying to get a feel of, you know. How they lay out everything and they show their comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A Con About The Craft of Comics-Making\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It turned out that Liz, and Whit Taylor, and 18 out of the 25 people I approached at random last weekend, make comics themselves. (Three of those 25 turned out to be NPR interns — make of that what you will.) That’s something else that sets this con apart, and has since it began in 1994.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Well it was started by a bunch of local DC people who basically revolted against the mainstream superhero conventions,” said Warren Bernard, Executive Director of SPX. “They were like, why can’t we independent comics people get together with self-published people … and they had their first con over in Silver Spring back in 1994.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The reason it grew to its current size, he said, is that today, “Many more people are activated by comics that aren’t superheroes — now that’s not taking anything away from superhero comics, I happen to like reading them — but there’s this other universe that’s everything but. And that’s what SPX is all about: everything but superheroes.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He believes the people who come to SPX each year are not looking to score big Hollywood development deals. They’re driven by a different ethos.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I think that’s part of what keeps SPX a little bit separate is that, you know, people are here for the art and the craft,” he said. “Whether you’re an attendee coming in and wanting to do stuff yourself, or you’re a creator that’s hanging out with all the other creators or just an attendee that kind of enjoys it, that is the thing that ties everyone together is the art and the craft, kinda combined.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_12095860\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg\" alt=\"The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics.\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12095860\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-768x511.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-1180x786.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a-960x639.jpg 960w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/09/spx-sat-2_enl-a3e3c493b08e32ec2c3deb139ace989dae2c692a.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Small Press Expo brings together fans and creators of independent comics. \u003ccite>(Photo: Courtesy of SPX)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Stepping Stone to Wider Success\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which is not to say that big development deals don’t happen. Cartoon Network, Disney and Nickelodeon send people to SPX every year to scout for talent. Rebecca Sugar, who created the TV show \u003cem>Steven Universe\u003c/em>, put in her time behind a table at SPX. So did Lisa Hanawalt, whose distinctive character designs can now be seen on the Netflix series \u003cem>Bojack Horseman\u003c/em>. Raina Telgemeier sold her mini-comics here, back in the day, as did many other creators who’ve gone on to huge commercial success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Several established indie comics creators said they love coming back to SPX, for various reasons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Honestly [we come to SPX] because it’s part of the world that we live in, and that we came up in, and it’s cool to see all these people doing what they want to do instead of what they have to do for money,” said Jaime Hernandez, half of Los Bros Hernandez, the team behind the venerable, and venerated, alt-series \u003cem>Love and Rockets\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“What I have really liked about SPX is it’s a comics festival which is more or less only about the things that I like about comics,” said Tom Gauld, creator of deadpan comics marvels \u003cem>You’re All Just Jealous of My Jetpack\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Mooncop\u003c/em>. “It’s not about movies of comics, it’s not about toys related to comics, it’s not about superhero comics, it’s more or less about whatever you call the thing that I do. It’s the kind of indie comics literary comics.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SPX isn’t \u003cem>completely\u003c/em> unlike other cons — you’ll likely leave having dropped a healthy chunk of change on books and art. But people like Bailey Kung, who started coming to SPX as a volunteer and is now a member of the executive board, leave with something else as well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“It’s definitely inspiring to be here,” she told me, “everyone is making such awesome work, it does make me want to go home and draw something.” \u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg decoding=\"async\" src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Comics+Convention+For+The+Unconventional%3A+The+Small+Press+Expo+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, fragile masculinity led to several guns going off, but who cares about all that 'cause Ross went skinny dipping! Will Ross realize that, instead of reopening the mine, he could make more money by converting it into a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices? Will Verity end up joining the village prostitute's #squad, since everyone already thinks she's a woman of the night? Will Pinky Ring's baby end up looking like Ross because that's how penetrating his gaze is? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's opening day for Ross' mine and the whole town shows up for a hootenanny (actually, there's no music; I just really wanted to use the word hootenanny). Ross has hired everyone within a 15 mile radius because, like I said last episode, he really gets off on job creation. Ross does not use a huge pair of scissors to cut a red ribbon, which is a missed opportunity, if you ask me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some old dudes watch Demelza pour Ross some wine from the sidelines and wonder if the rumors of them getting it on are true. Both agree Ross would be a fool if they weren't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a hill, Ross' uncle and wimpy cousin try to decide if they're still mad at Ross. Uncle decides nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"He saved your life! Time for you to demonstrate it wasn't wasted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"preach gif\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait. It appears as though I was a bit too hasty with the Encouraging Preach Hand™. Uncle didn't mean that Backstabber Cousin should help Ross. He instead wants him to make sure Ross' mine doesn't do better than theirs. They ride off without attending the hootenanny because why stop being a-holes when they've been so good at it for two full episodes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is reading a book because there wasn't really much else for a woman to do in those days. She suffers a pain in her pregnant belly. As someone who is still not over Sybil's death from preeclampsia on \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, this is very triggering for me. #HaremPantsForever\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza breaks up a physical fight between the Pigpens because they've been drinking rum. Mrs. Pigpen fakes a sprained wrist so Demelza will have to do all the chores. If Verity ever finds that matriarchal society, I hope she invites Demelza to come with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, there is concern over some boy named Jim. You see, he's been poaching, which is illegal, and he also found time to knock someone up. Ross is so good at helping people by this point that he hires both the boy and his baby mama to fix up an old shed that they will then live in, then arranges for Jim to ask this girl's father for her hand and plans their wedding, all within the span of two minutes. You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce... and Ross Poldark. Do something with your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza is nervous about her first foray into cooking. She serves Ross some sort of savory pie that she glazed and everything. Ross takes his time masticating and making the this-sponge-is-a-bit-too-moist face, just like that rude bald judge on \u003cem>The Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"So Mrs. Pigpen's recovery will take some time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"About a month or so, sir.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have it delayed as long as possible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36648 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 2\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 3\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's Den of Sorrow, she's hanging out with Pinky Ring, needle-pointing (zzzz). I can't see what Verity is working on, but it's most likely fancy lettering spelling out: \u003cem>I'm going to die a virgin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is like \u003cem>I wish you would get over your almost husband. Being super dramatic about boys is kind of my thing.\u003c/em> Verity considers decking her, but right then Pinky Ring has another weird pregnancy pain so the brawl must wait.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Jim's wedding is already happening (I told you Ross works quickly). Everyone's having such a good time that no one pauses long enough to be like, \u003cem>Ew, Jim married a literal child.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36657\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png\" alt=\"poldark wedding\" width=\"800\" height=\"439\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-400x219.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-768x421.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1440x790.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1180x647.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-960x526.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHE'S THE TINY, SAD, PREGNANT ONE IN BLUE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, a priest is lecturing Ross about how he should give up his fornicating ways for a proper marriage. Ross is probably thinking, \u003cem>Someone just married a 10 year old and you're worried about me having sex with consenting adult women?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches Mr. Holier Than Thou and watches Demelza and other poor people do the 18th century version of twerking. It looks fun so he joins in and looks at Demelza in a way that suggest they'll be fornicating pre-marriage very, very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Pinky Ring primly pushes a human being out of her body. It's a boy so everyone is pleased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"The line continues! Well done, my boy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, thank Pinky Ring. She did the work.\" (OMG, is Backstabber Cousin a feminist?!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doctor:\u003c/strong> \"Ah, women.\" (Nothing good can follow this phrase). \"They make a song and dance about it, but if things are properly managed...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36665\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\" alt=\"beyonce mad\" width=\"592\" height=\"334\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross finds a letter announcing the arrival of his ex's baby. He secretly wishes he had let Backstabber Cousin bleed out after that duel in his backyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, there's a fancy let's-all-get-drunk-and-touch-the-new-baby-with-our-germy-hands cocktail hour. Ross shows up, ready to put a hex on the rugrat à la Maleficent. Everyone gawks and imagines how much cuter the baby would have been with Ross' genetics. Such a shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy pops up with his miserable uncle to say rude things about poor people and Ross' mine. Pinky Ring's mother slides in with her own classist BS. Ross deals with these people expertly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"chappelle show diss gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross walks over to Pinky Ring and Backstabber Cousin to get the whole pretending-to-be-happy-for-them thing over with. Backstabber Cousin, the least perceptive person on the planet, is like, \u003cem>HOLD THE BABY I MADE WITH YOUR EX! ISN'T THIS FUN?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring takes it a step further and tells Ross she wishes he could be the child's godfather instead of Malfoy. I wish Demelza was here so she could serve up another one of her \"Girl, are you serious?\" looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy whisper some sweet nothing into Backstabber Cousin's ear and B.C. goes from unaware dope to jealous homicidal psycho in less than 2 seconds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png\" alt=\"francis poldark psycho\" width=\"800\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-400x222.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-768x425.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1440x798.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1180x654.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-960x532.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stare at him staring, while listening to this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who is he kidding? If he couldn't kill a random middle-aged captain, there's no way he's taking down Ross Adonis Poldark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle gives a speech all about how this new baby named after him proves that his lineage is thriving and will continue forevermore... and then has a heart attack. The old lady with the tarot cards doesn't even need to bring them out to say this isn't a great omen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As that harlot Verity selflessly tends to her father, Backstabber Cousin just stands there, still doing that staring like a murderous maniac thing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png\" alt=\"francis poldark sucks\" width=\"800\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1440x795.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1180x652.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way home, Ross overhears the thirsty girl from the ball, her mother, and Pinky Ring's mother all gossiping about how he's probably sleeping with the help. When he storms past them, thirsty girl's mom yells after him: \"Ross Poldark is no gentleman!\" This is not the way you treat a war hero! This is also not the way you persuade a war hero to marry your rude daughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring puts her cursed baby to bed and is about to enjoy some precious me time, when Backstabber Cousin comes in and insists on dry-humping her. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Dude, I literally just had a baby, can we not?\u003c/em>, which evokes a man child tantrum about how he's sure she wishes their baby belonged to Ross. Okay, I can get down with a glacier-paced love triangle (see: my high school obsession with the WB show \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/felicity/\">\u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), but this is getting out-of-hand and frankly boring. I hope \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> has more to offer than this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin storms out of the bedroom and finds another woman to bully, this time it's Hester Prynne! Uh, I mean Verity. He accuses her of trying to eavesdrop at his keyhole, taking Ross' side and knowing diddly squat about how marriage is actually \"misery.\" In essence, he tells her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37767\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\" alt=\"you're a virgin who can't drive clueless tai gif\" width=\"496\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity rightly thinks that's way harsh, especially 'cause he's the reason she has yet to find out how miserable marriage is. She looks at the sea captain's painted portrait hidden in a locket. He's still creepy looking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jim's child bride complains to Demelza about how her husband is still poaching and gonna get himself locked up. And she can't count on supporting herself with a check from MTV's \u003cem>Teen Mom\u003c/em> because the channel and the show haven't been invented yet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Uncle tells Backstabber Cousin he needs to start working. Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>Work? Me? But I don't know how to do anything! \u003c/em>Uncle insists so Backstabber Cousin heads to his mine and tries making small chat with the workers... while seated on his horse, wearing a top hat. The poor people spend their day's allowance of side eye on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross gives Demelza a stellar employee review. She always anticipates his needs and works the fields like no one else. Demelza almost brings up that it's unfair that she makes 79 cents to Mr. Pigpen's dollar, but instead brings up Jim's poaching. Ross responds the only way he knows how: \u003cem>I'll hire him to do something else for me! That should solve it! \u003c/em>Suze Orman thinks it's a very bad idea to hire hundreds of people when you are already bankrupt, but alas, she won't be around to tell Ross that for another couple of centuries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Child Bride shows up to cry in Demelza's face. You see, Jim went poaching again and his stupid chronic cough got him caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into a phone booth, twirls around a bunch and comes out Super(AdvocateForPoorFolk)Man! Off the caped crusader rides to convince the rich person whose pheasants Jim was trying to steal to drop the charges. But he's too late! Jim is already set for trial! And the rich dude hopes they hang him! Ross returns home to tell Demelza and says, \u003cem>Ugh, rich people are the worst!!!\u003c/em> Demelza responds, \u003cem>I know, right?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes to pick up Child Bride to attend the trial, but she's in labor because her life doesn't suck enough right now. Ross enters the court and asks a different rich dude if Jim's bad lungs might preclude a prison sentence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Rich dude:\u003c/strong> \"No good will come of being sentimental of such folk. They're a different breed! A different breed!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37954\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"how dare you mindy kaling gif\" width=\"160\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Homeboy said it twice, in case the first time wasn't infuriating enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross takes the stand to combine his good looks with a rendition of Jim's sob story in order to emancipate good ol' Jim. The old bewigged dudes are not buying any of it. He's too sick to go to prison, but he's not too sick to run around stealing pheasants and knocking up tweens? This is not going well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things aren't going that much better in a field near chez Ross. Demelza's dad and his black teeth are back again. This time, he's wearing a nice suit because he got married and started believing in god! Unlike Jesus, he's not very understanding or compassionate and goes right into accusing Demelza of giving into the Temptation of the Flesh (Ross' flesh, that is) and being touched by the Devil. Demelza defends herself with a statement that could easily be taken the wrong way: \"He's my master and I'm his servant!\" #50Shades, anyone? Demelza's dad says he'll be back tomorrow to fetch her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at court, the judges announce they've decided to take Ross' testimony and cute face into account. They will grant young Jim some leniency. Before Ross has the chance to flip his hair in triumph, the judges proclaim: TWO YEARS IMPRISONMENT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37891\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\" alt=\"phoebe friends shock gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jim immediately starts coughing. You couldn't have done a little more of that during deliberation? It's too late now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sees red and decides to go all the way off. His rant is basically this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af7Jctuqhcg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to the pub to get alcohol poisoning. It isn't long before the prostitute shows up, but Ross declines this time. On his way out, he sees her mounting someone else... IT'S BACKSTABBER COUSIN!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37892\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"mr bean shocked gif\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> Poldark, you say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> Not \u003cem>a\u003c/em> Poldark. \u003cem>THE\u003c/em> Poldark!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> What other Poldark is there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> *aroused, erotic sigh*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is totally the guy who gently weeps, while having sex. He's also the type of guy who ends up dying mid coitus. We can only hope...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the ranch, Demelza is bummed she has to leave Ross and all his cool things. She says goodbye to each one and then pauses when she finds a beautiful gown hidden in a chest. She tries it on because how else is Ross going to find her in it and freak out?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on schedule, Ross comes home and starts screaming for Demelza. His back is turned so maybe she can get away with serving him without being spotted? Ross rants about poor imprisoned Jim and the terrible state of the justice system, while Demelza tries to tiptoe out. But of course he sees her at the last moment. What ensues is essentially the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> scene in which the Beast freaks the F out on Belle for touching his stuff:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJZuQl5hT2U\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually he calms down enough to rub her face and kind of sort of apologize and... MAKE OUT WITH HER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\" alt=\"full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers\" width=\"447\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately blames herself because that's what the patriarchy has taught her to do and Ross yells at her to go to bed because that's what the patriarchy has taught him to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Demelza knocks on his bedroom door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\" alt=\"raw (3)\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asks him to unlace her corset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37904\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif\" alt=\"raw (5)\" width=\"244\" height=\"246\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif 244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 244px) 100vw, 244px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does so while breathing very heavily on her neck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37906\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-4.gif\" alt=\"raw (4)\" width=\"498\" height=\"322\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He mentions how everyone gossips about them getting it on and how they would be proving those a-holes right. \"Then let it be true,\" she responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37903\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-6.gif\" alt=\"raw (6)\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they proceed to have crazy sex all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\" alt=\"officehappygasp\" width=\"320\" height=\"175\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wow. \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> is out-doing \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> with all these twists and turns! Even super boring plot points like whether to merge hospitals or whatever took \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> seven entire episodes to settle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza creeps out of bed and we get a lingering shot of Ross without his shirt on because the producers care about straight women and gay men demographics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, it's revealed that Backstabber Cousin did not come home last night. Oooooohhh boy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross grumpily uses a scythe without his shirt on. The infamous scene that set Twitter alight and got people interested in the show in the first place! It's finally happening! And, again, because the producers know who's watching, they revel in the moment by utilizing slow motion. Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is hiding in the field nearby, watching his sweat-glistened body work the field, smiles to herself and thinks, \u003cem>I tapped that.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because every party has a pooper, Pinky Ring approaches in the distance. UGH. CAN WE NOT?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross puts on his shirt and returns home to see what she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37916\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"5166520_15-reasons-why--poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b\" width=\"736\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she wants what she always wants: to complain about her marriage. You made your choice, girl. Now scram so Ross can get back to the fields!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza accidentally barges in and is crushed. She offers Pinky Ring flowers because what else do you do in this kind of awkward situation? Pinky Ring doesn't want them. \"They're fading already. Corn flowers are like that.\" This is 18th century speak for \"You're basic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring finally decides to go home (yayyy!) and Ross sees her out. Crushed, Demelza runs off with her cute, shy puppy. Ross chases her down and asks why she's running off. He's nice to look at, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza explains that, after last night, she can no longer be his servant. Ross agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to a chapel. AND WTF OMG THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37905\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene! Drop mic! What just happened?! Ahh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> I'm going to leave this section word-for-word from last week because it all still applies:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Thanks for the shirtless chores, but go easy on the blind rages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>The Prostitute: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She's an entrepreneur with good business acumen. Get them coins, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's good of her to keep taking care of her a-hole dad who ruined her chance at marriage just last episode. Hang in there. It gets better... in a couple of centuries... kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She managed to lose her virginity to Ross and marry him over the course of two days. Props.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"description": "Someone is born, someone almost dies, someone gets married, someone gets laid and someone does his chores shirtless.",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt",
"datePublished": "2016-09-21T07:01:38-07:00",
"dateModified": "2016-11-06T13:10:49-08:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, fragile masculinity led to several guns going off, but who cares about all that 'cause Ross went skinny dipping! Will Ross realize that, instead of reopening the mine, he could make more money by converting it into a spot for hipsters to buy overpriced avocado toast and fresh-pressed juices? Will Verity end up joining the village prostitute's #squad, since everyone already thinks she's a woman of the night? Will Pinky Ring's baby end up looking like Ross because that's how penetrating his gaze is? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's opening day for Ross' mine and the whole town shows up for a hootenanny (actually, there's no music; I just really wanted to use the word hootenanny). Ross has hired everyone within a 15 mile radius because, like I said last episode, he really gets off on job creation. Ross does not use a huge pair of scissors to cut a red ribbon, which is a missed opportunity, if you ask me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some old dudes watch Demelza pour Ross some wine from the sidelines and wonder if the rumors of them getting it on are true. Both agree Ross would be a fool if they weren't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a hill, Ross' uncle and wimpy cousin try to decide if they're still mad at Ross. Uncle decides nah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"He saved your life! Time for you to demonstrate it wasn't wasted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"preach gif\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But wait. It appears as though I was a bit too hasty with the Encouraging Preach Hand™. Uncle didn't mean that Backstabber Cousin should help Ross. He instead wants him to make sure Ross' mine doesn't do better than theirs. They ride off without attending the hootenanny because why stop being a-holes when they've been so good at it for two full episodes?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Pinky Ring is reading a book because there wasn't really much else for a woman to do in those days. She suffers a pain in her pregnant belly. As someone who is still not over Sybil's death from preeclampsia on \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>, this is very triggering for me. #HaremPantsForever\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, Demelza breaks up a physical fight between the Pigpens because they've been drinking rum. Mrs. Pigpen fakes a sprained wrist so Demelza will have to do all the chores. If Verity ever finds that matriarchal society, I hope she invites Demelza to come with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, there is concern over some boy named Jim. You see, he's been poaching, which is illegal, and he also found time to knock someone up. Ross is so good at helping people by this point that he hires both the boy and his baby mama to fix up an old shed that they will then live in, then arranges for Jim to ask this girl's father for her hand and plans their wedding, all within the span of two minutes. You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce... and Ross Poldark. Do something with your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza is nervous about her first foray into cooking. She serves Ross some sort of savory pie that she glazed and everything. Ross takes his time masticating and making the this-sponge-is-a-bit-too-moist face, just like that rude bald judge on \u003cem>The Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"So Mrs. Pigpen's recovery will take some time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"About a month or so, sir.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Have it delayed as long as possible.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-36648 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5e9d9e699c9de7a3fdf58a50cbe90fd17f4f97e8.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36649\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nv6v36PPbS1s5v14qo2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 2\" width=\"499\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36650\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-1-1.gif\" alt=\"great british baking show yay gif 3\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Verity's Den of Sorrow, she's hanging out with Pinky Ring, needle-pointing (zzzz). I can't see what Verity is working on, but it's most likely fancy lettering spelling out: \u003cem>I'm going to die a virgin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is like \u003cem>I wish you would get over your almost husband. Being super dramatic about boys is kind of my thing.\u003c/em> Verity considers decking her, but right then Pinky Ring has another weird pregnancy pain so the brawl must wait.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Jim's wedding is already happening (I told you Ross works quickly). Everyone's having such a good time that no one pauses long enough to be like, \u003cem>Ew, Jim married a literal child.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36657\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png\" alt=\"poldark wedding\" width=\"800\" height=\"439\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-800x439.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-400x219.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-768x421.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1440x790.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-1180x647.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM-960x526.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.29.55-PM.png 1678w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHE'S THE TINY, SAD, PREGNANT ONE IN BLUE!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few paces away, a priest is lecturing Ross about how he should give up his fornicating ways for a proper marriage. Ross is probably thinking, \u003cem>Someone just married a 10 year old and you're worried about me having sex with consenting adult women?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross ditches Mr. Holier Than Thou and watches Demelza and other poor people do the 18th century version of twerking. It looks fun so he joins in and looks at Demelza in a way that suggest they'll be fornicating pre-marriage very, very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Pinky Ring primly pushes a human being out of her body. It's a boy so everyone is pleased.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Uncle:\u003c/strong> \"The line continues! Well done, my boy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, thank Pinky Ring. She did the work.\" (OMG, is Backstabber Cousin a feminist?!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doctor:\u003c/strong> \"Ah, women.\" (Nothing good can follow this phrase). \"They make a song and dance about it, but if things are properly managed...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36665\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nnieusKZWj1tsuskao2_1280.jpg\" alt=\"beyonce mad\" width=\"592\" height=\"334\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, Ross finds a letter announcing the arrival of his ex's baby. He secretly wishes he had let Backstabber Cousin bleed out after that duel in his backyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, there's a fancy let's-all-get-drunk-and-touch-the-new-baby-with-our-germy-hands cocktail hour. Ross shows up, ready to put a hex on the rugrat à la Maleficent. Everyone gawks and imagines how much cuter the baby would have been with Ross' genetics. Such a shame.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy pops up with his miserable uncle to say rude things about poor people and Ross' mine. Pinky Ring's mother slides in with her own classist BS. Ross deals with these people expertly:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"chappelle show diss gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross walks over to Pinky Ring and Backstabber Cousin to get the whole pretending-to-be-happy-for-them thing over with. Backstabber Cousin, the least perceptive person on the planet, is like, \u003cem>HOLD THE BABY I MADE WITH YOUR EX! ISN'T THIS FUN?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring takes it a step further and tells Ross she wishes he could be the child's godfather instead of Malfoy. I wish Demelza was here so she could serve up another one of her \"Girl, are you serious?\" looks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy whisper some sweet nothing into Backstabber Cousin's ear and B.C. goes from unaware dope to jealous homicidal psycho in less than 2 seconds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37159\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png\" alt=\"francis poldark psycho\" width=\"800\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-800x443.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-400x222.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-768x425.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1440x798.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1180x654.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-960x532.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.23.30-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stare at him staring, while listening to this:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>But who is he kidding? If he couldn't kill a random middle-aged captain, there's no way he's taking down Ross Adonis Poldark.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Uncle gives a speech all about how this new baby named after him proves that his lineage is thriving and will continue forevermore... and then has a heart attack. The old lady with the tarot cards doesn't even need to bring them out to say this isn't a great omen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As that harlot Verity selflessly tends to her father, Backstabber Cousin just stands there, still doing that staring like a murderous maniac thing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37161\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png\" alt=\"francis poldark sucks\" width=\"800\" height=\"442\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-800x442.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-400x221.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-768x424.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1440x795.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-1180x652.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-960x530.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM-672x372.png 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-15-at-10.36.28-PM.png 1675w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>On his way home, Ross overhears the thirsty girl from the ball, her mother, and Pinky Ring's mother all gossiping about how he's probably sleeping with the help. When he storms past them, thirsty girl's mom yells after him: \"Ross Poldark is no gentleman!\" This is not the way you treat a war hero! This is also not the way you persuade a war hero to marry your rude daughter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Pinky Ring puts her cursed baby to bed and is about to enjoy some precious me time, when Backstabber Cousin comes in and insists on dry-humping her. Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Dude, I literally just had a baby, can we not?\u003c/em>, which evokes a man child tantrum about how he's sure she wishes their baby belonged to Ross. Okay, I can get down with a glacier-paced love triangle (see: my high school obsession with the WB show \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/felicity/\">\u003cem>Felicity\u003c/em>\u003c/a>), but this is getting out-of-hand and frankly boring. I hope \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> has more to offer than this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin storms out of the bedroom and finds another woman to bully, this time it's Hester Prynne! Uh, I mean Verity. He accuses her of trying to eavesdrop at his keyhole, taking Ross' side and knowing diddly squat about how marriage is actually \"misery.\" In essence, he tells her:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37767\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tenor.gif\" alt=\"you're a virgin who can't drive clueless tai gif\" width=\"496\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity rightly thinks that's way harsh, especially 'cause he's the reason she has yet to find out how miserable marriage is. She looks at the sea captain's painted portrait hidden in a locket. He's still creepy looking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jim's child bride complains to Demelza about how her husband is still poaching and gonna get himself locked up. And she can't count on supporting herself with a check from MTV's \u003cem>Teen Mom\u003c/em> because the channel and the show haven't been invented yet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Uncle tells Backstabber Cousin he needs to start working. Backstabber Cousin is like, \u003cem>Work? Me? But I don't know how to do anything! \u003c/em>Uncle insists so Backstabber Cousin heads to his mine and tries making small chat with the workers... while seated on his horse, wearing a top hat. The poor people spend their day's allowance of side eye on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross gives Demelza a stellar employee review. She always anticipates his needs and works the fields like no one else. Demelza almost brings up that it's unfair that she makes 79 cents to Mr. Pigpen's dollar, but instead brings up Jim's poaching. Ross responds the only way he knows how: \u003cem>I'll hire him to do something else for me! That should solve it! \u003c/em>Suze Orman thinks it's a very bad idea to hire hundreds of people when you are already bankrupt, but alas, she won't be around to tell Ross that for another couple of centuries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Child Bride shows up to cry in Demelza's face. You see, Jim went poaching again and his stupid chronic cough got him caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into a phone booth, twirls around a bunch and comes out Super(AdvocateForPoorFolk)Man! Off the caped crusader rides to convince the rich person whose pheasants Jim was trying to steal to drop the charges. But he's too late! Jim is already set for trial! And the rich dude hopes they hang him! Ross returns home to tell Demelza and says, \u003cem>Ugh, rich people are the worst!!!\u003c/em> Demelza responds, \u003cem>I know, right?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross goes to pick up Child Bride to attend the trial, but she's in labor because her life doesn't suck enough right now. Ross enters the court and asks a different rich dude if Jim's bad lungs might preclude a prison sentence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Rich dude:\u003c/strong> \"No good will come of being sentimental of such folk. They're a different breed! A different breed!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37954\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n9s57vLwqM1smcbm7o1_250.gif\" alt=\"how dare you mindy kaling gif\" width=\"160\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Homeboy said it twice, in case the first time wasn't infuriating enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross takes the stand to combine his good looks with a rendition of Jim's sob story in order to emancipate good ol' Jim. The old bewigged dudes are not buying any of it. He's too sick to go to prison, but he's not too sick to run around stealing pheasants and knocking up tweens? This is not going well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And things aren't going that much better in a field near chez Ross. Demelza's dad and his black teeth are back again. This time, he's wearing a nice suit because he got married and started believing in god! Unlike Jesus, he's not very understanding or compassionate and goes right into accusing Demelza of giving into the Temptation of the Flesh (Ross' flesh, that is) and being touched by the Devil. Demelza defends herself with a statement that could easily be taken the wrong way: \"He's my master and I'm his servant!\" #50Shades, anyone? Demelza's dad says he'll be back tomorrow to fetch her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at court, the judges announce they've decided to take Ross' testimony and cute face into account. They will grant young Jim some leniency. Before Ross has the chance to flip his hair in triumph, the judges proclaim: TWO YEARS IMPRISONMENT!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37891\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/large-1.gif\" alt=\"phoebe friends shock gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jim immediately starts coughing. You couldn't have done a little more of that during deliberation? It's too late now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross sees red and decides to go all the way off. His rant is basically this:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/af7Jctuqhcg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/af7Jctuqhcg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Ross heads to the pub to get alcohol poisoning. It isn't long before the prostitute shows up, but Ross declines this time. On his way out, he sees her mounting someone else... IT'S BACKSTABBER COUSIN!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37892\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"mr bean shocked gif\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> Poldark, you say?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> Not \u003cem>a\u003c/em> Poldark. \u003cem>THE\u003c/em> Poldark!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prostitute:\u003c/strong> What other Poldark is there?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> *aroused, erotic sigh*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Backstabber Cousin is totally the guy who gently weeps, while having sex. He's also the type of guy who ends up dying mid coitus. We can only hope...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the ranch, Demelza is bummed she has to leave Ross and all his cool things. She says goodbye to each one and then pauses when she finds a beautiful gown hidden in a chest. She tries it on because how else is Ross going to find her in it and freak out?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on schedule, Ross comes home and starts screaming for Demelza. His back is turned so maybe she can get away with serving him without being spotted? Ross rants about poor imprisoned Jim and the terrible state of the justice system, while Demelza tries to tiptoe out. But of course he sees her at the last moment. What ensues is essentially the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> scene in which the Beast freaks the F out on Belle for touching his stuff:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/hJZuQl5hT2U'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/hJZuQl5hT2U'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Eventually he calms down enough to rub her face and kind of sort of apologize and... MAKE OUT WITH HER!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37900\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers.gif\" alt=\"full-house-shocked-gif-15767-16276-hd-wallpapers\" width=\"447\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza immediately blames herself because that's what the patriarchy has taught her to do and Ross yells at her to go to bed because that's what the patriarchy has taught him to do.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Demelza knocks on his bedroom door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37901\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-3.gif\" alt=\"raw (3)\" width=\"498\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She asks him to unlace her corset.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37904\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif\" alt=\"raw (5)\" width=\"244\" height=\"246\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5.gif 244w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-5-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 244px) 100vw, 244px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He does so while breathing very heavily on her neck.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37906\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-4.gif\" alt=\"raw (4)\" width=\"498\" height=\"322\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He mentions how everyone gossips about them getting it on and how they would be proving those a-holes right. \"Then let it be true,\" she responds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37903\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-6.gif\" alt=\"raw (6)\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they proceed to have crazy sex all night long.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37902\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/officehappygasp.gif\" alt=\"officehappygasp\" width=\"320\" height=\"175\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wow. \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> is out-doing \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> with all these twists and turns! Even super boring plot points like whether to merge hospitals or whatever took \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> seven entire episodes to settle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza creeps out of bed and we get a lingering shot of Ross without his shirt on because the producers care about straight women and gay men demographics.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Pinky Ring's house, it's revealed that Backstabber Cousin did not come home last night. Oooooohhh boy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross grumpily uses a scythe without his shirt on. The infamous scene that set Twitter alight and got people interested in the show in the first place! It's finally happening! And, again, because the producers know who's watching, they revel in the moment by utilizing slow motion. Wow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is hiding in the field nearby, watching his sweat-glistened body work the field, smiles to herself and thinks, \u003cem>I tapped that.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because every party has a pooper, Pinky Ring approaches in the distance. UGH. CAN WE NOT?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross puts on his shirt and returns home to see what she wants.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37916\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"5166520_15-reasons-why--poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b\" width=\"736\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out she wants what she always wants: to complain about her marriage. You made your choice, girl. Now scram so Ross can get back to the fields!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza accidentally barges in and is crushed. She offers Pinky Ring flowers because what else do you do in this kind of awkward situation? Pinky Ring doesn't want them. \"They're fading already. Corn flowers are like that.\" This is 18th century speak for \"You're basic.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring finally decides to go home (yayyy!) and Ross sees her out. Crushed, Demelza runs off with her cute, shy puppy. Ross chases her down and asks why she's running off. He's nice to look at, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza explains that, after last night, she can no longer be his servant. Ross agrees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to a chapel. AND WTF OMG THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37905\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_inline_o50z3p6L051rict0a_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene! Drop mic! What just happened?! Ahh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> I'm going to leave this section word-for-word from last week because it all still applies:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em> \u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Thanks for the shirtless chores, but go easy on the blind rages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>The Prostitute: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She's an entrepreneur with good business acumen. Get them coins, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Verity: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>It's good of her to keep taking care of her a-hole dad who ruined her chance at marriage just last episode. Hang in there. It gets better... in a couple of centuries... kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>She managed to lose her virginity to Ross and marry him over the course of two days. Props.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Only Way to Process Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Divorce",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sunshine poured through my bedroom window this morning and woke me up. I smiled. Another glorious day. Then I reached for my phone and saw I had 9 unread text messages. \u003cem>This can't be good\u003c/em>, I thought. All of them said the same thing: BRANGELINA IS DUNZO. LOVE IS DEAD! followed by all the exasperated, depressed, sweating emojis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Love is a lie. The era of celebrity couple portmanteaus is over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is only one way to process all of this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Click play on the song below and listen as you slowly scroll down through happier times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozKsQnRHb-c\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37855\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/anigif_enhanced-2763-1428517696-11.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-2763-1428517696-11\" width=\"245\" height=\"176\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37852\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/cb873e20-6eb0-0133-4d6d-0e3f8b958f63.gif\" alt=\"cb873e20-6eb0-0133-4d6d-0e3f8b958f63\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37856\" 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height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37859\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-possibly-making-movie-together.gif\" alt=\"angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-possibly-making-movie-together\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37858\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-wedding-gift-ernest-hemingway-typewriter.gif\" alt=\"angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-wedding-gift-ernest-hemingway-typewriter\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37843\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37851\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273.gif\" alt=\"cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\"> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\">\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37862\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\" alt=\"giphy (7)\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-64x64.gif 64w, 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src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"198\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37861\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\" alt=\"EMGNBestCryingScenes1\" width=\"466\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For more thoughts and feelings on the dissolution of Brangelina, listen to this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" 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"excerpt": "Love is a lie.",
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"headline": "The Only Way to Process Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's Divorce",
"datePublished": "2016-09-20T12:46:59-07:00",
"dateModified": "2016-10-06T12:57:08-07:00",
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"slug": "the-only-way-to-process-angelina-jolie-and-brad-pitts-divorce",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/286278032&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sunshine poured through my bedroom window this morning and woke me up. I smiled. Another glorious day. Then I reached for my phone and saw I had 9 unread text messages. \u003cem>This can't be good\u003c/em>, I thought. All of them said the same thing: BRANGELINA IS DUNZO. LOVE IS DEAD! followed by all the exasperated, depressed, sweating emojis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Love is a lie. The era of celebrity couple portmanteaus is over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is only one way to process all of this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Click play on the song below and listen as you slowly scroll down through happier times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37843\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nb1hb2myoY1ry5ul7o3_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37851\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273.gif\" alt=\"cb8f32c0-6eb0-0133-6e3e-0aecee5a8273\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\"> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\">\u003cbr>\n\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37862\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif\" alt=\"giphy (7)\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-7-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37865\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m22eufGtzl1r7drv2o1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m22eufGtzl1r7drv2o1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37860\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/stare2-1418913402.gif\" alt=\"stare2-1418913402\" width=\"500\" height=\"228\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37864\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_ndg9zwDMyg1rqbv0uo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"198\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-37861\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/EMGNBestCryingScenes1.gif\" alt=\"EMGNBestCryingScenes1\" width=\"466\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For more thoughts and feelings on the dissolution of Brangelina, listen to this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" 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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, Ross returned from the war alive and everyone felt very inconvenienced. Will the deplorable behavior from basically everyone in Cornwall be explained by the fact that the region is built directly over the Hellmouth? Will Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen finally take a much-needed shower? Will Ross finally take off his shirt? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The camera lingers on inanimate objects -- a lantern, a rope, a straw hat, a bell, as Mr. Pigpen waxes poetic: \"Mining, 'tis in the blood! Eat, sleep, live and breathe it. She's your salvation and downfall.\" Elsewhere, some fancy red coats nail a \"Notice of Closure\" sign on a mine entrance. I really think we 21st century dwellers should get back into the habit of nailing dramatic proclamations on people's doors. It's not like we're using that hammer we got from IKEA for anything else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the mine workers show up and are like, \u003cem>Um, how dare you\u003c/em>. A guy wearing eyeliner, who might be hotter than Ross, responds by assaulting one of the workers. A very uncool move, but did I mention he might be hotter than Ross? Take a look for yourself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36391\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"poldark evil hottie\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1440x801.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, some old dude gets dressed, dabs cologne on his neck and puts on his cutest wig, while people bang on his door, yelling about what's going down at the mine. Old dude then picks up a gun and shoots himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed5Bh_DbHPU\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza is screaming while washing her hair at the outdoor spigot. She yells up to Ross' window that she really hates being clean and then storms off, but not before expertly recreating this iconic redhead-with-wet-hair moment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross' evil former classmate George, who is basically Malfoy from \u003cem>Harry Potter\u003c/em>, is worried that the random old dude's suicide will reflect poorly on him. You see, Malfoy and his uncle declined to extend the recently departed's loans, leading to the closing of the mine and all the rest. Malfoy's uncle asks, \"Are we in the business of sentiment or profit?\" and then blasts Rihanna's \"Bitch Betta Have My Money.\" Point taken.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this moment, a woman with dyed hair (so she must be a prostitute) emerges because this is her jam, but also because she wants to know if she is excused or if she has to have sex with Malfoy again. He impolitely tells her to be more polite by calling him Sir from now on and sure, he'll take another roll in the hay, thanks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross', the worker who was knocked out by hot eyeliner guy is telling Ross all about the closing of the mine and how his mother and sisters will starve, if he doesn't get another gig soon. Ross agrees to employ him because hiring randoms, despite not having any money whatsoever, has kind of become his \"thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads over to his uncle's house and Pinky Ring is, of course, in the window staring down at him as he approaches. Get a life, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Verity (a.k.a. Daisy: The Prequel) is super jazzed that Ross has arrived 'cause everyone she lives with is so awful. Ross announces that he's not moving to London and returns his uncle's money. He misses a great opportunity to do this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about the suicide and Ross shares that he thinks it's worrisome that almost everyone has loans through Malfoy and his Slytherin relative. Ross' uncle is not worried because Malfoy is Backstabber Cousin's best friend, which makes a lot of sense. Ross invites Verity over (maybe he plans to hire her too?), but his uncle quickly shuts down their hangout. She apparently needs to stay home to pour his cream and wipe his butt. #JusticeforVerity!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross leaves, Pinky Ring is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> creepily watching from the window. Take up crocheting or scrapbooking, something! She sits down to think about how maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to hook up with her ex's cousin. The aphorism goes: Think of the boring Devil and he shall appear. Backstabber Cousin enters and Pinky Ring tries to avoid him by saying that she's tired and plans to lie down. He asks, \"Can I join you?\", creepily molests her braid and then basically does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\" alt=\"creepy gross kiss gif\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, the miners who beat up all those bros last episode find Ross and ask him if he can hire them too. Ross still has zero dollars, but says \u003cem>Probably!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to his father's abandoned mine to see if there's anything salvageable to be had there. Backstabber Cousin shows up because the writers of this show never want me to have a moment's peace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Father says you intend to remain.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Does that disappoint you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36410\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\" alt=\"snap latrice gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross says he feels bad about all the unemployed miners. Backstabber Cousin is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7HJH0IH3dc\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross suggests the possibility of reopening the mine together. Job creation clearly gets him off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a backyard across town, Pinky Ring is collecting eggs. Verity is scandalized! Only dowdy girls who are 25 and over are supposed to do menial chores! Pretty girls are meant to spend their days gazing out of windows at the men they wish they were still sleeping with. Everybody knows that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross tells his banker that he wants to reopen the mine. His banker's response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQSsrvsszcs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy's prostitute comes onto Ross at the pub (wouldn't you?). A banker laughing in your face is kind of a boner killer though so he passes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back home (so much commuting in Cornwall!), Ross runs into Verity, who has a favor to ask: will he escort her to a ball? She wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is asking the same favor of Pinky Ring: \"My dear, tonight's assembly, will you not reconsider? You know how I love to show off my wife to the world!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36464\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\" alt=\"jennifer lawrence disgusted gif\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The party \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lit\">is lit\u003c/a>. No, I mean literally. Candles everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the women are fanning themselves and looking at Poldark. Verity warns him that he could have one of these girls naked by the end of this song.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another room, a bunch of old snobs are tut-tutting about the miners. Why do commoners have to be so \u003cem>loud\u003c/em> about their rights? Backstabber Cousin brings up the #AllMenAreCreatedEqual hashtag that is sweeping America. Everyone laughs and says it won't be trending for much longer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are taking advantage of Demelza, making her wash their clothes and the floors and give them pillows for their backs and feet. Is there any chance Demelza will develop telekinesis soon and exact revenge on these two, her bro-y family, Ross' uncle, etc? A boy can dream...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house party, Malfoy follows Ross around saying rude things that initially sound like pleasantries, and Ross says veiled rude things in return with a smile because they're British and this is how rivalries work over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the ballroom, Verity is thinking about how she's going to be a virgin forever and ever, until she's interrupted by a sea captain! Verity says all the ship-related words she knows: sails and masts. You go, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere on the dance floor, the girl from episode one, who talked sh*t about the Poldarks while Ross was asleep in the coach on his way home, shows up and pukes boring small talk all over Ross. His name is no, his sign is no, his number is no; you need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Demelza sneaks into Ross' room and touches all his stuff. She sits at the piano and dreams of being a proto-Tori Amos. She already has a lot of experiences to pull from: the lice, the dog fight, the hot employer. This could work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the rave, things are heating up between Verity and the captain. He is teaching her new boat words, some of which are downright salacious, like \"spanker boom,\" which is \u003ca href=\"http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Spanker+boom\">apparently a real thing\u003c/a>. Then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Captain:\u003c/strong> \"I'd really like us to be better acquainted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Me too. ...I should not have said that! What must you think of me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36471\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"i'm a slut wiig gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is sneaking back out of his room when Mr. Pigpen catches her and tells her she should go back to her bro-family and that she'll never amount to anything. Where's that telekinesis when a girl needs it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fiesta, Ross is cornered by coach girl, who wants to dance. His name is still no, his sign is still no, his number is still no, you still need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He ditches her and approaches Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring 'cause dealing with them always ends well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Have you come to take my wife off my hands?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36472\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\" alt=\"edward scissorhands nodding gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They engage in a fancy do-si-do and everyone is scandalized. Except for Backstabber Cousin who is all derp derp derp, until Malfoy gets in his ear and warns him that he's about to get cuckolded in a major way. He looks at his wife and her ex and is finally like, \u003cem>Ohhh yeahhhh, they are soul mates and I'm just... here.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is kicking wine back and laughing really loudly with Ross. Verity runs over to say, \u003cem>Um, hi, I might have said something slutty before, but this is way worse! You might as well have dyed hair! Go dance with your husband!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Verity gets back to her new admirer, the Captain gets fresher by the minute. He wants to meet Verity's father to ask for her hand. Wow. Turns out all you gotta do to bag a husband is let him mansplain boats to you. Spanker boom boom room, here they come! But wait, he must tell her a deep, dark secret before things go any further... Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross storms out of the party and runs to the inn to find the prostitute. His name is yes, his sign is yes, his number is yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another night of spooning, Demelza and her cute, shy puppy are picking flowers along the cliffs. Demelza spots Ross on his horse trot of shame. He strips naked and goes skinny dipping in the chilly sea (his 18th century spin on the cold shower). He even gets in on this action:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\" alt=\"poldark skinny dip gif\" width=\"643\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza likes what she sees. (For all the pervs out there, this happens around the 30:15 mark; you're very welcome.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that morning, Demelza has to serve Ross like she hasn't seen his twig and berries. It's hard. (The task of pretending, I mean. Not sure about the other thing.) And she'll have to pretend all day long because Ross invites her to come into town with him. He tells her to get her cloak. She's like, \u003cem>Um, I'm poor, remember? I'm already wearing everything I own.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get to town, they split up to run errands. Ross immediately runs into Pinky Ring because duh. He helps her carry some fabric because they're uneducated so textbooks weren't an option. Malfoy lurks in the background, spying, because this town is apparently the size of a studio apartment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets up with Backstabber Cousin, who is supposed to help pitch the idea of reopening the mine to a bunch of moneyed men. But, oops, Malfoy has been talking smack in his ear and Backstabber Cousin announces he no longer wants to go. Ross does not have time for this and is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\" alt=\"nene ok girl bye gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Ross basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36481\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\" alt=\"GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, like Kim, he's pretty so all the men are like, \u003cem>Take our money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To celebrate his nonsensical victory, Ross buys Demelza her very first bad ass cape and she walks down the street past a bunch of judgmental jerks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"kathie lee cape gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin and his dad can not believe what went down at the ball. How could a woman of a certain station act like such a whore in front of everyone?? Pinky Ring eavesdrops from the adjoining room and slut shames herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, there's a knock at the door. The Pigpens are nowhere to be found (typical) so Demelza has to answer it and it's Pinky Ring, the floozy who dared to square dance with a man that isn't her husband. The horror!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like in the last episode, Demelza gives Pinky Ring a withering \"Girl, are you serious?\" look:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png\" alt=\"demelza poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring has come to cry in Ross' face about what she overheard. The family knows about their sizzling hot sexual chemistry! The jig is up! Ross is jazzed and is moments away from trying to make out with her, when Mr. Pigpen waltzes in for the c*ckblock. It's a scene snatched from every dorm room in America. Roommates are the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to his uncle's place to formally announce that he's stealing Pinky Ring back. When he arrives, his uncle, his cousin and the tarot-reading old lady are all distraught... over what a loose woman \u003cem>Verity\u003c/em> has become. *record scratch*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olympic conclusion jumper Pinky Ring sits in the corner like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\" alt=\"oops real housewives gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plan is to keep Verity locked up so she doesn't have sex with the captain, who allegedly likes a cocktail every now and then and also maybe sorta beat his wife to death. Verity is a \"plain girl\" and they need to save her from her urge to get with the only man who's ever hit on her. Ross agrees to help and somehow manages not to hire any new employees. Progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, as Ross is leaving, Verity pops up, but oddly isn't wearing her scarlet letter (the embroiderer must still be working on it). She says that her family is lying. The captain barely pushed his wife, who then did technically die, but it was sort of an accident and, despite not knowing his star sign or favorite color, she just \u003cem>knows\u003c/em> that he would never ever hurt her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Verity and her man hanging out at Ross' house because he loves helping people (if hiring them isn't a possibility).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross handles some heavy bales of hay with his shirt completely on, a worker notices the tops of parasols over the fence. It's the thirsty girl from the ball and her mom. Why would she bring her mother, you ask? Because who else is going to just come out and say: \"One only has to taste her syllabubs to know they are succulent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\" alt=\"family feud shocked scandalized gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you don't watch \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>, syllabubs are a whipped cream dessert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36597\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\" alt=\"katy perry whipped cream bikini gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\" alt=\"whipped cream bikini varsity gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, Ross is not hungry. He tells them NEVER GONNA HAPPEN and walks away (in the politest, British way possible of course).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the house, the captain is telling Verity about his multiple children. Run, Verity! 25 might be too old to be desirable by 18th century standards, but 25 is too young to be a stepmom to a bunch of kids who will hate you no matter what because you're not their dead mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, storm clouds are gathering, which, according to the rules of obvious TV tropes, means that sh*t is about to go down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As expected, Backstabber Cousin and his dad crash Verity's super sexy I'll-sit-way-over-here-on-this-bench-while-you-teach-me-boring-boat-terms-from-way-over-there hangout. Backstabber Cousin challenges the Captain to an epithet-hurling contest. Backstabber Cousin volleys a \"Filthy skunk!\", but it's no match for the Captain's spike of \"Insolent puppy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is Backstabber Cousin to do now, after two long episodes of his masculinity being trampled all over? GUN FIGHT, that's what!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross could easily stop this madness from happening, but opts for this approach instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36599\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\" alt=\"romy michele gif popcorn\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity tries to put an end to the insanity, but is knocked down by her brother, proving that this has nothing to do with caring about her and everything to do with people thinking he does in fact have testicles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The men take their paces, turn and shoot. Who's dead?? Is it both? Let it be both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope. Francis got shot in the neck and the Captain is unhurt, minus the pain of how awkward this now is for him. \u003cem>Oops, murdered your brother. Wanna honeymoon in Maui?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes Backstabber Cousin's dying body into the house and saves his life, a fact that doesn't stop Pinky Ring from yelling at him nor his uncle from blaming Ross for everything and calling him a disgrace. With friends like these...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the coup de grace: Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Thanks for saving that twerp's life because I forgot to tell you: I'm pregnant with a baby that's definitely not yours, k thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin: \u003c/strong>It was a tight race for Worst Person Ever this week, but B.C. eked out a win for several reasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirtsy Girl's Mom: \u003c/strong>She's shameless and kind of gross, but both take nerve so hat's off to her for pimping out her daughter so brazenly centuries before \u003cem>Toddlers and Tiaras\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>He heard the world's call for him to take off his shirt and, because he loves to help people, took off all his clothes and even got wet. A true humanitarian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> She deserves better than being born in an age where everyone hates women this much. I hope she finds a time machine or a hidden matriarchal society soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Her self-care regiment is truly inspirational:\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After a long week of hard work, it's only right to reward oneself with some me time and a skinny dip peep show feat. Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This episode begins with a gun going off, ends with a gun going off, but more importantly involves our hero going skinny dipping.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">Last episode\u003c/a>, Ross returned from the war alive and everyone felt very inconvenienced. Will the deplorable behavior from basically everyone in Cornwall be explained by the fact that the region is built directly over the Hellmouth? Will Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen finally take a much-needed shower? Will Ross finally take off his shirt? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The camera lingers on inanimate objects -- a lantern, a rope, a straw hat, a bell, as Mr. Pigpen waxes poetic: \"Mining, 'tis in the blood! Eat, sleep, live and breathe it. She's your salvation and downfall.\" Elsewhere, some fancy red coats nail a \"Notice of Closure\" sign on a mine entrance. I really think we 21st century dwellers should get back into the habit of nailing dramatic proclamations on people's doors. It's not like we're using that hammer we got from IKEA for anything else.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, the mine workers show up and are like, \u003cem>Um, how dare you\u003c/em>. A guy wearing eyeliner, who might be hotter than Ross, responds by assaulting one of the workers. A very uncool move, but did I mention he might be hotter than Ross? Take a look for yourself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36391\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png\" alt=\"poldark evil hottie\" width=\"800\" height=\"445\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-800x445.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-768x427.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1440x801.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1180x656.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-960x534.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM-1038x576.png 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-11-at-2.47.34-PM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, some old dude gets dressed, dabs cologne on his neck and puts on his cutest wig, while people bang on his door, yelling about what's going down at the mine. Old dude then picks up a gun and shoots himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/Ed5Bh_DbHPU'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/Ed5Bh_DbHPU'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza is screaming while washing her hair at the outdoor spigot. She yells up to Ross' window that she really hates being clean and then storms off, but not before expertly recreating this iconic redhead-with-wet-hair moment:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross' evil former classmate George, who is basically Malfoy from \u003cem>Harry Potter\u003c/em>, is worried that the random old dude's suicide will reflect poorly on him. You see, Malfoy and his uncle declined to extend the recently departed's loans, leading to the closing of the mine and all the rest. Malfoy's uncle asks, \"Are we in the business of sentiment or profit?\" and then blasts Rihanna's \"Bitch Betta Have My Money.\" Point taken.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this moment, a woman with dyed hair (so she must be a prostitute) emerges because this is her jam, but also because she wants to know if she is excused or if she has to have sex with Malfoy again. He impolitely tells her to be more polite by calling him Sir from now on and sure, he'll take another roll in the hay, thanks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross', the worker who was knocked out by hot eyeliner guy is telling Ross all about the closing of the mine and how his mother and sisters will starve, if he doesn't get another gig soon. Ross agrees to employ him because hiring randoms, despite not having any money whatsoever, has kind of become his \"thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads over to his uncle's house and Pinky Ring is, of course, in the window staring down at him as he approaches. Get a life, girlfriend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Verity (a.k.a. Daisy: The Prequel) is super jazzed that Ross has arrived 'cause everyone she lives with is so awful. Ross announces that he's not moving to London and returns his uncle's money. He misses a great opportunity to do this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36401\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nqr5wkWggS1sjc5sqo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"rihanna money throw gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They get to talking about the suicide and Ross shares that he thinks it's worrisome that almost everyone has loans through Malfoy and his Slytherin relative. Ross' uncle is not worried because Malfoy is Backstabber Cousin's best friend, which makes a lot of sense. Ross invites Verity over (maybe he plans to hire her too?), but his uncle quickly shuts down their hangout. She apparently needs to stay home to pour his cream and wipe his butt. #JusticeforVerity!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross leaves, Pinky Ring is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> creepily watching from the window. Take up crocheting or scrapbooking, something! She sits down to think about how maybe it wasn't the greatest idea to hook up with her ex's cousin. The aphorism goes: Think of the boring Devil and he shall appear. Backstabber Cousin enters and Pinky Ring tries to avoid him by saying that she's tired and plans to lie down. He asks, \"Can I join you?\", creepily molests her braid and then basically does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36402\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/a9acc365a74c869454847a20279d55de.gif\" alt=\"creepy gross kiss gif\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road, the miners who beat up all those bros last episode find Ross and ask him if he can hire them too. Ross still has zero dollars, but says \u003cem>Probably!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads to his father's abandoned mine to see if there's anything salvageable to be had there. Backstabber Cousin shows up because the writers of this show never want me to have a moment's peace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Father says you intend to remain.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Does that disappoint you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36410\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Snap-Reaction-Gif.gif\" alt=\"snap latrice gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross says he feels bad about all the unemployed miners. Backstabber Cousin is like:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/M7HJH0IH3dc'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Ross suggests the possibility of reopening the mine together. Job creation clearly gets him off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a backyard across town, Pinky Ring is collecting eggs. Verity is scandalized! Only dowdy girls who are 25 and over are supposed to do menial chores! Pretty girls are meant to spend their days gazing out of windows at the men they wish they were still sleeping with. Everybody knows that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross tells his banker that he wants to reopen the mine. His banker's response:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/BQSsrvsszcs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/BQSsrvsszcs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Later, Malfoy's prostitute comes onto Ross at the pub (wouldn't you?). A banker laughing in your face is kind of a boner killer though so he passes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the road back home (so much commuting in Cornwall!), Ross runs into Verity, who has a favor to ask: will he escort her to a ball? She wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin is asking the same favor of Pinky Ring: \"My dear, tonight's assembly, will you not reconsider? You know how I love to show off my wife to the world!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36464\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/mrm33.gif\" alt=\"jennifer lawrence disgusted gif\" width=\"268\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The party \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lit\">is lit\u003c/a>. No, I mean literally. Candles everywhere.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the women are fanning themselves and looking at Poldark. Verity warns him that he could have one of these girls naked by the end of this song.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In another room, a bunch of old snobs are tut-tutting about the miners. Why do commoners have to be so \u003cem>loud\u003c/em> about their rights? Backstabber Cousin brings up the #AllMenAreCreatedEqual hashtag that is sweeping America. Everyone laughs and says it won't be trending for much longer.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Mr. and Mrs. Pigpen are taking advantage of Demelza, making her wash their clothes and the floors and give them pillows for their backs and feet. Is there any chance Demelza will develop telekinesis soon and exact revenge on these two, her bro-y family, Ross' uncle, etc? A boy can dream...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the house party, Malfoy follows Ross around saying rude things that initially sound like pleasantries, and Ross says veiled rude things in return with a smile because they're British and this is how rivalries work over there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the ballroom, Verity is thinking about how she's going to be a virgin forever and ever, until she's interrupted by a sea captain! Verity says all the ship-related words she knows: sails and masts. You go, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere on the dance floor, the girl from episode one, who talked sh*t about the Poldarks while Ross was asleep in the coach on his way home, shows up and pukes boring small talk all over Ross. His name is no, his sign is no, his number is no; you need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back home, Demelza sneaks into Ross' room and touches all his stuff. She sits at the piano and dreams of being a proto-Tori Amos. She already has a lot of experiences to pull from: the lice, the dog fight, the hot employer. This could work!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the rave, things are heating up between Verity and the captain. He is teaching her new boat words, some of which are downright salacious, like \"spanker boom,\" which is \u003ca href=\"http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Spanker+boom\">apparently a real thing\u003c/a>. Then this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Captain:\u003c/strong> \"I'd really like us to be better acquainted.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \"Me too. ...I should not have said that! What must you think of me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36471\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"i'm a slut wiig gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-3-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Ross, Demelza is sneaking back out of his room when Mr. Pigpen catches her and tells her she should go back to her bro-family and that she'll never amount to anything. Where's that telekinesis when a girl needs it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the fiesta, Ross is cornered by coach girl, who wants to dance. His name is still no, his sign is still no, his number is still no, you still need to let it go.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He ditches her and approaches Backstabber Cousin and Pinky Ring 'cause dealing with them always ends well.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Backstabber Cousin:\u003c/strong> \"Have you come to take my wife off my hands?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36472\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/67zOY.gif\" alt=\"edward scissorhands nodding gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"269\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They engage in a fancy do-si-do and everyone is scandalized. Except for Backstabber Cousin who is all derp derp derp, until Malfoy gets in his ear and warns him that he's about to get cuckolded in a major way. He looks at his wife and her ex and is finally like, \u003cem>Ohhh yeahhhh, they are soul mates and I'm just... here.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring is kicking wine back and laughing really loudly with Ross. Verity runs over to say, \u003cem>Um, hi, I might have said something slutty before, but this is way worse! You might as well have dyed hair! Go dance with your husband!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Verity gets back to her new admirer, the Captain gets fresher by the minute. He wants to meet Verity's father to ask for her hand. Wow. Turns out all you gotta do to bag a husband is let him mansplain boats to you. Spanker boom boom room, here they come! But wait, he must tell her a deep, dark secret before things go any further... Intrigue!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross storms out of the party and runs to the inn to find the prostitute. His name is yes, his sign is yes, his number is yes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After another night of spooning, Demelza and her cute, shy puppy are picking flowers along the cliffs. Demelza spots Ross on his horse trot of shame. He strips naked and goes skinny dipping in the chilly sea (his 18th century spin on the cold shower). He even gets in on this action:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_m67d87iHIx1qhfc59o1_250.gif\" alt=\"ariel little mermaid hair gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"234\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37727\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/poldark-ep2-25-36.gif\" alt=\"poldark skinny dip gif\" width=\"643\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza likes what she sees. (For all the pervs out there, this happens around the 30:15 mark; you're very welcome.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that morning, Demelza has to serve Ross like she hasn't seen his twig and berries. It's hard. (The task of pretending, I mean. Not sure about the other thing.) And she'll have to pretend all day long because Ross invites her to come into town with him. He tells her to get her cloak. She's like, \u003cem>Um, I'm poor, remember? I'm already wearing everything I own.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get to town, they split up to run errands. Ross immediately runs into Pinky Ring because duh. He helps her carry some fabric because they're uneducated so textbooks weren't an option. Malfoy lurks in the background, spying, because this town is apparently the size of a studio apartment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross meets up with Backstabber Cousin, who is supposed to help pitch the idea of reopening the mine to a bunch of moneyed men. But, oops, Malfoy has been talking smack in his ear and Backstabber Cousin announces he no longer wants to go. Ross does not have time for this and is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36480\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_nlu3avBaaS1tkrthjo1_500.gif\" alt=\"nene ok girl bye gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the board meeting, Ross basically says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36481\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF.gif\" alt=\"GIF-No-idea-Have-no-idea-what-im-doing-Kim-Kardashian-Kardashian-WTF-am-i-doing-Confused-Confusing-GIF\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, like Kim, he's pretty so all the men are like, \u003cem>Take our money!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To celebrate his nonsensical victory, Ross buys Demelza her very first bad ass cape and she walks down the street past a bunch of judgmental jerks like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36549\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"kathie lee cape gif\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Backstabber Cousin and his dad can not believe what went down at the ball. How could a woman of a certain station act like such a whore in front of everyone?? Pinky Ring eavesdrops from the adjoining room and slut shames herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Ross, there's a knock at the door. The Pigpens are nowhere to be found (typical) so Demelza has to answer it and it's Pinky Ring, the floozy who dared to square dance with a man that isn't her husband. The horror!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like in the last episode, Demelza gives Pinky Ring a withering \"Girl, are you serious?\" look:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36550\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png\" alt=\"demelza poldark\" width=\"800\" height=\"446\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-800x446.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-400x223.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-768x429.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1440x804.png 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-1180x659.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM-960x536.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Screen-Shot-2016-09-12-at-11.58.57-AM.png 1679w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pinky Ring has come to cry in Ross' face about what she overheard. The family knows about their sizzling hot sexual chemistry! The jig is up! Ross is jazzed and is moments away from trying to make out with her, when Mr. Pigpen waltzes in for the c*ckblock. It's a scene snatched from every dorm room in America. Roommates are the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to his uncle's place to formally announce that he's stealing Pinky Ring back. When he arrives, his uncle, his cousin and the tarot-reading old lady are all distraught... over what a loose woman \u003cem>Verity\u003c/em> has become. *record scratch*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olympic conclusion jumper Pinky Ring sits in the corner like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36558\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/oo.gif\" alt=\"oops real housewives gif\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The plan is to keep Verity locked up so she doesn't have sex with the captain, who allegedly likes a cocktail every now and then and also maybe sorta beat his wife to death. Verity is a \"plain girl\" and they need to save her from her urge to get with the only man who's ever hit on her. Ross agrees to help and somehow manages not to hire any new employees. Progress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, as Ross is leaving, Verity pops up, but oddly isn't wearing her scarlet letter (the embroiderer must still be working on it). She says that her family is lying. The captain barely pushed his wife, who then did technically die, but it was sort of an accident and, despite not knowing his star sign or favorite color, she just \u003cem>knows\u003c/em> that he would never ever hurt her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Verity and her man hanging out at Ross' house because he loves helping people (if hiring them isn't a possibility).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As Ross handles some heavy bales of hay with his shirt completely on, a worker notices the tops of parasols over the fence. It's the thirsty girl from the ball and her mom. Why would she bring her mother, you ask? Because who else is going to just come out and say: \"One only has to taste her syllabubs to know they are succulent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36596\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/19c9m7otofxjtgif.gif\" alt=\"family feud shocked scandalized gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you don't watch \u003cem>The\u003c/em> \u003cem>Great British Bake Off\u003c/em>, syllabubs are a whipped cream dessert.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36597\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy8.gif\" alt=\"katy perry whipped cream bikini gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36598\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/6efdf885-c528-4459-a83f-72a6f69bf1b2-1.gif\" alt=\"whipped cream bikini varsity gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"256\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>However, Ross is not hungry. He tells them NEVER GONNA HAPPEN and walks away (in the politest, British way possible of course).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the house, the captain is telling Verity about his multiple children. Run, Verity! 25 might be too old to be desirable by 18th century standards, but 25 is too young to be a stepmom to a bunch of kids who will hate you no matter what because you're not their dead mom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, storm clouds are gathering, which, according to the rules of obvious TV tropes, means that sh*t is about to go down.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As expected, Backstabber Cousin and his dad crash Verity's super sexy I'll-sit-way-over-here-on-this-bench-while-you-teach-me-boring-boat-terms-from-way-over-there hangout. Backstabber Cousin challenges the Captain to an epithet-hurling contest. Backstabber Cousin volleys a \"Filthy skunk!\", but it's no match for the Captain's spike of \"Insolent puppy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What is Backstabber Cousin to do now, after two long episodes of his masculinity being trampled all over? GUN FIGHT, that's what!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross could easily stop this madness from happening, but opts for this approach instead:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36599\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/98d4f16.gif\" alt=\"romy michele gif popcorn\" width=\"720\" height=\"405\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity tries to put an end to the insanity, but is knocked down by her brother, proving that this has nothing to do with caring about her and everything to do with people thinking he does in fact have testicles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The men take their paces, turn and shoot. Who's dead?? Is it both? Let it be both.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope. Francis got shot in the neck and the Captain is unhurt, minus the pain of how awkward this now is for him. \u003cem>Oops, murdered your brother. Wanna honeymoon in Maui?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes Backstabber Cousin's dying body into the house and saves his life, a fact that doesn't stop Pinky Ring from yelling at him nor his uncle from blaming Ross for everything and calling him a disgrace. With friends like these...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And the coup de grace: Pinky Ring is like, \u003cem>Thanks for saving that twerp's life because I forgot to tell you: I'm pregnant with a baby that's definitely not yours, k thx bai!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Backstabber Cousin: \u003c/strong>It was a tight race for Worst Person Ever this week, but B.C. eked out a win for several reasons:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>He gets physical with a woman because he's really mad that another man got physical with a woman\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He's never had a job and doesn't know how to do anything\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He is not smart and so easily manipulated by Malfoy\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>He didn't die\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>His fragile masculinity\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Etc.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Thirtsy Girl's Mom: \u003c/strong>She's shameless and kind of gross, but both take nerve so hat's off to her for pimping out her daughter so brazenly centuries before \u003cem>Toddlers and Tiaras\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>He heard the world's call for him to take off his shirt and, because he loves to help people, took off all his clothes and even got wet. A true humanitarian.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Verity\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong> She deserves better than being born in an age where everyone hates women this much. I hope she finds a time machine or a hidden matriarchal society soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>Her self-care regiment is truly inspirational:\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After a long week of hard work, it's only right to reward oneself with some me time and a skinny dip peep show feat. Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a> or read all the \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>More recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin' Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">'Poldark' Season 1 Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"marketplace": {
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"masters-of-scale": {
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},
"mindshift": {
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"order": 12
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
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"morning-edition": {
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"onourwatch": {
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"tagline": "Deeply-reported investigative journalism",
"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
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},
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},
"pbs-newshour": {
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},
"perspectives": {
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"order": 14
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"info": "The economy explained. Imagine you could call up a friend and say, Meet me at the bar and tell me what's going on with the economy. Now imagine that's actually a fun evening.",
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"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/planetmoney.jpg",
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"link": "/radio/program/planet-money",
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"politicalbreakdown": {
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"title": "Political Breakdown",
"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
"airtime": "THU 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Political-Breakdown-2024-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"order": 5
},
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"possible": {
"id": "possible",
"title": "Possible",
"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
"airtime": "SUN 2pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.possible.fm/",
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"source": "Possible"
},
"link": "/radio/program/possible",
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"spotify": "https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"
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},
"pri-the-world": {
"id": "pri-the-world",
"title": "PRI's The World: Latest Edition",
"info": "Each weekday, host Marco Werman and his team of producers bring you the world's most interesting stories in an hour of radio that reminds us just how small our planet really is.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 2pm-3pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-World-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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},
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},
"radiolab": {
"id": "radiolab",
"title": "Radiolab",
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