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"disqusTitle": "10 Comfort Games That Encourage Kindness, Community and Well-Being",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In the world’s first history book, Herodotus recounts how the ancient Lydians faced a prolonged period of food scarcity. Months passed without relief and despair set in, spurring the desperate Lydians to implement an unusual solution. Life was organized according to a two-day schedule, where they fasted on the first day and played games to distract from hunger, while on the second day they ate and abstained from play. Herodotus writes that the people lived according to this pattern for eighteen years, survived the famine, and invented some of the games that we enjoy today.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Three thousand years later, we stand to learn much from the Lydians. Games might be a timely balm as we grapple with our own social crisis. French philosopher David Émile Durkeim believed that games are a cornerstone of human bonding, while their power to absorb and distract helps ease our thoughts from the troubles at hand. Also, digital games can simulate vast navigable virtual spaces, an attractive commodity when access to real world space is restricted. But, unlike the Lydians, we already have tens of thousands of games ready to go, many of which have been designed to dissolve physical distance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As we adjust to a prolonged sojourn in the great indoors, the games included here may help ease the burden of confinement. Players can draw comfort from bridging distance through online collaboration, traveling the virtual world, sharing struggles, or getting a daily fitness fix, all without having to step outside.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Kind Words\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://popcannibal.com/kindwords/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kind Words\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">’ core mechanic is meaningful human contact. Players can anonymously write short letters to share their struggles or respond to others with supportive words. After the tutorial, all letters and responses are produced by real people. This little game with a big heart seems ideally suited to our current circumstances as it transcends space with its anonymous virtual network that encourages positive interactions, mutual comfort and support. It’s also a fun way for kids to exercise reading, writing and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">emotional intelligence\u003c/a> through empathetic engagements. Not surprisingly, many recent letters address social distancing issues which grant ample opportunity to connect on the foundation of shared experience.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnJ2sRTkZo8\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Journey\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Doesn’t it feel like a good time for a mystical pilgrimage across the desert? \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://thatgamecompany.com/journey/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Journey\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a striking work of video game art where a player traverses a surreal desert landscape as they make their way to a distant mountain. The soothing soundtrack, austere expanses and calming rhythm of play are a powerful antidote to the doldrums of social isolation. The best part is that you are not alone. At every level, one might encounter another anonymous player with whom they can exchange magic scarves and form a temporary alliance. Communication is limited to avatar motion and nonverbal chimes or “pings.” Strangely, these \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2018-07-08-how-journey-only-truly-made-sense-when-almost-everything-had-been-cut\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">constraints deepen the emotional connection\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> between players as it impedes potentially toxic behavior. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Journey\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a powerful metaphor that binds inward and outward voyages, but perhaps the most relevant message it delivers is its persistent reminder that less is more.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkL94nKSd2M\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Stardew Valley \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The pastoral life calls in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.stardewvalley.net/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stardew Valley\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where you’re an urban office worker who inherits an abandoned plot of land from your grandfather. Fed-up with the city grind, you decide to take the plunge and start a new life in Pelican Town, an idyllic 16-bit farming community. Soon, you’re clearing land, managing crops, monitoring your sleep cycles, visiting the general store, socializing with the townsfolk and exploring the surrounding countryside. The surprise hit of 2016 is a refreshing tend-and-befriend game with throwback graphics and diverse tasks that will keep you blissfully occupied for hours. You can also farm with friends: there’s a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.gamesradar.com/stardew-valley-co-op-multiplayer-how-to/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">multiplayer co-op\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> version that lets up to four players work together, share an income and even tie the knot. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot7uXNQskhs\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Animal Crossing: New Horizon\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Fresh off the press, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/animal-crossing-new-horizons-switch/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cem>Animal Crossing: New Horizons\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is the latest installment of the enduring life simulation franchise where players explore a cartoony paradiscal island and build a thriving community of cutesy animal citizens. The open-ended sim is a highly customizable sandbox where players build, collect, craft, grow, fish, trade, play and socialize. Time on the island is tied to the real world clock, the weather is in flux and the flora and fauna change according to the seasons. Four can collaborate on the same system and up to eight online players can meet to work and play on the island.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3YNL0OWio0\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>GeoGuessr\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While we await regularly scheduled flights to resume, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.geoguessr.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">GeoGuessr\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> lets us explore the world from the comfort of home. It leverages Google Maps and Street View technology to drop you somewhere on the globe to wander around searching for clues to determine your location. Street signs, landscapes, flora, fauna, company logos, store signs and architecture all provide clues to help you figure out whether you’ve been beamed to the heart of Mongolia or deposited in downtown Nairobi. There are diverse challenges available and those who aren’t ready to go global can choose to materialize at landmarks, specific countries, or U.S. capitals. Once you’ve satisfied your wanderlust, hand it over to the kids for an entertaining boost to their geographic knowledge and critical thinking skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Outer Wilds\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">After you’ve exhausted your virtual tour of the world, you might consider heading off planet to the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mobiusdigitalgames.com/outer-wilds.html\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The recent winner of BAFTA’s Best Game of 2020 award is sci-fi on the surface, but \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a gentle, carefully crafted masterpiece that rewards careful exploration. This time, you’re a rookie alien astronaut caught in a 22-minute time loop that always ends with a massive supernova, blackout and you wake up at the campfire starting position again. Rinse, but not quite repeat, as every churn of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Groundhog Day\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> cycle reveals a new piece of the puzzle as you learn why you are trapped in the loop. It is ultimately a story about community and connection that caused \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.polygon.com/2019/12/13/21011871/outer-wilds-goty-best-games-of-the-year\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one reviewer\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to confess that \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">’\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">final revelations left a mark that will be on my soul...one that pulls at me every time I hear its simple, enthralling theme music.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6LGnVCL1_A\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In case you didn’t notice, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is back and bigger than ever. The iconic sword and sorcery tabletop role-playing game (RPG) with the eccentric dice has enjoyed a massive resurgence as an embodied alternative to online socialization. Besides its mainstream popularity, educators, therapists and parents have leveraged \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">D&D\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to encourage \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">literacy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51790/how-dungeons-dragons-primes-students-for-interdisciplinary-learning-including-stem\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">STEM\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social and emotional wellbeing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The pen-and-paper game was designed to be played around a table; however, it takes more than a lockdown to subdue. Wizards of the Coast curates a wealth of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/remote\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">free tools and resources\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to help transition your \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">D&D\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> campaign online, and Polygon offers \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.polygon.com/2020/3/17/21182538/how-to-play-dungeons-dragons-pen-and-paper-games-online-virtual-tabletop-coronavirus\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a guide\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to help make the shift with other RPGs. Roleplay is cathartic, and tabletop RPGs are ultimately collaborative storytelling experiences, a fundamental human impulse to strengthen social cohesion.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://youtu.be/2PEt5RdNHNw\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Minecraft\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.minecraft.net/en-us/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Minecraft\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is in a category all its own, and a mainstay of every video game list ever. It’s the second best selling title of all time, the commercial video game most widely used \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://education.minecraft.net/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and it remains enormously popular with players of all ages. Blockish avatars explore, mine and build structures ranging from simple homes to sophisticated circuits. Geographically distanced friends can collaborate on projects, and it’s even possible \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.businessinsider.com/virtual-computers-built-inside-minecraft-2015-2\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">to build a computer\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> or \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://blog.connectedcamps.com/creative-minecraft-theater/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">stage a live performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in the virtual world. For tens of millions of youth (and adults) around the world, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Minecraft\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a safe and familiar place to converse, compete, collaborate and, best of all, create.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Ring Fit Adventure and Just Dance\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Finally, physical exercise is a cornerstone of wellbeing, and games can help with that too. There is no end to online fitness videos but, let’s face it, sometimes the motivation just isn’t there. Some may be more willing to build up a sweat if they have to battle monsters and clear obstacles in a dungeon. Nintendo’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/ring-fit-adventure-switch/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ring Fit Adventure\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, the spiritual successor to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii_Sports\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Wii Sports\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, uses motion sensors, a plastic ring peripheral and an RPG narrative to incentivize a workout. It also includes more traditional guided exercise routines. If you prefer to boogie, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ubisoft.com/en-ca/game/just-dance-2020/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Just Dance\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> curates classic and contemporary dance hits and scores players on how well they can execute the guided moves, while co-op mode allows for dance offs and collaborative routines.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClIanDEQSyk\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dutch historian John Huizinga believed that games are magic circles whose self-contained rules and protocols separate them apart from the real word. Today, it might be more applicable to think of games as magic networks rather than circles, meaningfully connecting people far and wide through designed experiences, and offering a refuge from our refuge. A wayward Danish prince who was also trapped at home once said, “I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space.” With a little help from modern technology, so can we.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In the world’s first history book, Herodotus recounts how the ancient Lydians faced a prolonged period of food scarcity. Months passed without relief and despair set in, spurring the desperate Lydians to implement an unusual solution. Life was organized according to a two-day schedule, where they fasted on the first day and played games to distract from hunger, while on the second day they ate and abstained from play. Herodotus writes that the people lived according to this pattern for eighteen years, survived the famine, and invented some of the games that we enjoy today.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Three thousand years later, we stand to learn much from the Lydians. Games might be a timely balm as we grapple with our own social crisis. French philosopher David Émile Durkeim believed that games are a cornerstone of human bonding, while their power to absorb and distract helps ease our thoughts from the troubles at hand. Also, digital games can simulate vast navigable virtual spaces, an attractive commodity when access to real world space is restricted. But, unlike the Lydians, we already have tens of thousands of games ready to go, many of which have been designed to dissolve physical distance.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As we adjust to a prolonged sojourn in the great indoors, the games included here may help ease the burden of confinement. Players can draw comfort from bridging distance through online collaboration, traveling the virtual world, sharing struggles, or getting a daily fitness fix, all without having to step outside.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Kind Words\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://popcannibal.com/kindwords/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kind Words\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">’ core mechanic is meaningful human contact. Players can anonymously write short letters to share their struggles or respond to others with supportive words. After the tutorial, all letters and responses are produced by real people. This little game with a big heart seems ideally suited to our current circumstances as it transcends space with its anonymous virtual network that encourages positive interactions, mutual comfort and support. It’s also a fun way for kids to exercise reading, writing and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">emotional intelligence\u003c/a> through empathetic engagements. Not surprisingly, many recent letters address social distancing issues which grant ample opportunity to connect on the foundation of shared experience.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/wnJ2sRTkZo8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/wnJ2sRTkZo8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>Journey\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Doesn’t it feel like a good time for a mystical pilgrimage across the desert? \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://thatgamecompany.com/journey/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Journey\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a striking work of video game art where a player traverses a surreal desert landscape as they make their way to a distant mountain. The soothing soundtrack, austere expanses and calming rhythm of play are a powerful antidote to the doldrums of social isolation. The best part is that you are not alone. At every level, one might encounter another anonymous player with whom they can exchange magic scarves and form a temporary alliance. Communication is limited to avatar motion and nonverbal chimes or “pings.” Strangely, these \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2018-07-08-how-journey-only-truly-made-sense-when-almost-everything-had-been-cut\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">constraints deepen the emotional connection\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> between players as it impedes potentially toxic behavior. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Journey\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a powerful metaphor that binds inward and outward voyages, but perhaps the most relevant message it delivers is its persistent reminder that less is more.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/bkL94nKSd2M'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/bkL94nKSd2M'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>Stardew Valley \u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The pastoral life calls in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.stardewvalley.net/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stardew Valley\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, where you’re an urban office worker who inherits an abandoned plot of land from your grandfather. Fed-up with the city grind, you decide to take the plunge and start a new life in Pelican Town, an idyllic 16-bit farming community. Soon, you’re clearing land, managing crops, monitoring your sleep cycles, visiting the general store, socializing with the townsfolk and exploring the surrounding countryside. The surprise hit of 2016 is a refreshing tend-and-befriend game with throwback graphics and diverse tasks that will keep you blissfully occupied for hours. You can also farm with friends: there’s a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.gamesradar.com/stardew-valley-co-op-multiplayer-how-to/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">multiplayer co-op\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> version that lets up to four players work together, share an income and even tie the knot. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ot7uXNQskhs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ot7uXNQskhs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>Animal Crossing: New Horizon\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Fresh off the press, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/animal-crossing-new-horizons-switch/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cem>Animal Crossing: New Horizons\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is the latest installment of the enduring life simulation franchise where players explore a cartoony paradiscal island and build a thriving community of cutesy animal citizens. The open-ended sim is a highly customizable sandbox where players build, collect, craft, grow, fish, trade, play and socialize. Time on the island is tied to the real world clock, the weather is in flux and the flora and fauna change according to the seasons. Four can collaborate on the same system and up to eight online players can meet to work and play on the island.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/_3YNL0OWio0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/_3YNL0OWio0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>GeoGuessr\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">While we await regularly scheduled flights to resume, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.geoguessr.com/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">GeoGuessr\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> lets us explore the world from the comfort of home. It leverages Google Maps and Street View technology to drop you somewhere on the globe to wander around searching for clues to determine your location. Street signs, landscapes, flora, fauna, company logos, store signs and architecture all provide clues to help you figure out whether you’ve been beamed to the heart of Mongolia or deposited in downtown Nairobi. There are diverse challenges available and those who aren’t ready to go global can choose to materialize at landmarks, specific countries, or U.S. capitals. Once you’ve satisfied your wanderlust, hand it over to the kids for an entertaining boost to their geographic knowledge and critical thinking skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Outer Wilds\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">After you’ve exhausted your virtual tour of the world, you might consider heading off planet to the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.mobiusdigitalgames.com/outer-wilds.html\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The recent winner of BAFTA’s Best Game of 2020 award is sci-fi on the surface, but \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a gentle, carefully crafted masterpiece that rewards careful exploration. This time, you’re a rookie alien astronaut caught in a 22-minute time loop that always ends with a massive supernova, blackout and you wake up at the campfire starting position again. Rinse, but not quite repeat, as every churn of the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Groundhog Day\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> cycle reveals a new piece of the puzzle as you learn why you are trapped in the loop. It is ultimately a story about community and connection that caused \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.polygon.com/2019/12/13/21011871/outer-wilds-goty-best-games-of-the-year\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one reviewer\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to confess that \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Outer Wilds\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">’\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">final revelations left a mark that will be on my soul...one that pulls at me every time I hear its simple, enthralling theme music.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/d6LGnVCL1_A'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/d6LGnVCL1_A'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In case you didn’t notice, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is back and bigger than ever. The iconic sword and sorcery tabletop role-playing game (RPG) with the eccentric dice has enjoyed a massive resurgence as an embodied alternative to online socialization. Besides its mainstream popularity, educators, therapists and parents have leveraged \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">D&D\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to encourage \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">literacy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51790/how-dungeons-dragons-primes-students-for-interdisciplinary-learning-including-stem\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">STEM\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social and emotional wellbeing\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. The pen-and-paper game was designed to be played around a table; however, it takes more than a lockdown to subdue. Wizards of the Coast curates a wealth of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://dnd.wizards.com/articles/remote\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">free tools and resources\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to help transition your \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">D&D\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> campaign online, and Polygon offers \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.polygon.com/2020/3/17/21182538/how-to-play-dungeons-dragons-pen-and-paper-games-online-virtual-tabletop-coronavirus\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a guide\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to help make the shift with other RPGs. Roleplay is cathartic, and tabletop RPGs are ultimately collaborative storytelling experiences, a fundamental human impulse to strengthen social cohesion.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/2PEt5RdNHNw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/2PEt5RdNHNw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cb>Minecraft\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.minecraft.net/en-us/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Minecraft\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is in a category all its own, and a mainstay of every video game list ever. It’s the second best selling title of all time, the commercial video game most widely used \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://education.minecraft.net/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and it remains enormously popular with players of all ages. Blockish avatars explore, mine and build structures ranging from simple homes to sophisticated circuits. Geographically distanced friends can collaborate on projects, and it’s even possible \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.businessinsider.com/virtual-computers-built-inside-minecraft-2015-2\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">to build a computer\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> or \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://blog.connectedcamps.com/creative-minecraft-theater/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">stage a live performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in the virtual world. For tens of millions of youth (and adults) around the world, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Minecraft\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a safe and familiar place to converse, compete, collaborate and, best of all, create.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Ring Fit Adventure and Just Dance\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Finally, physical exercise is a cornerstone of wellbeing, and games can help with that too. There is no end to online fitness videos but, let’s face it, sometimes the motivation just isn’t there. Some may be more willing to build up a sweat if they have to battle monsters and clear obstacles in a dungeon. Nintendo’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nintendo.com/games/detail/ring-fit-adventure-switch/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ring Fit Adventure\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, the spiritual successor to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii_Sports\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Wii Sports\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, uses motion sensors, a plastic ring peripheral and an RPG narrative to incentivize a workout. It also includes more traditional guided exercise routines. If you prefer to boogie, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ubisoft.com/en-ca/game/just-dance-2020/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Just Dance\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> curates classic and contemporary dance hits and scores players on how well they can execute the guided moves, while co-op mode allows for dance offs and collaborative routines.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ClIanDEQSyk'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ClIanDEQSyk'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dutch historian John Huizinga believed that games are magic circles whose self-contained rules and protocols separate them apart from the real word. Today, it might be more applicable to think of games as magic networks rather than circles, meaningfully connecting people far and wide through designed experiences, and offering a refuge from our refuge. A wayward Danish prince who was also trapped at home once said, “I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space.” With a little help from modern technology, so can we.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "How Will Social Isolation During COVID-19 Affect Our Kids?",
"title": "How Will Social Isolation During COVID-19 Affect Our Kids?",
"headTitle": "MindShift | KQED News",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>This story on \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/a-drastic-experiment-in-progress-how-will-coronavirus-change-our-kids/\">\u003cem>effects of social isolation \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>was produced by \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/\">\u003cem>The Hechinger Report,\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/newsletters/\">\u003cem>Hechinger newsletter.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the start of World War II, millions of children were evacuated from London and other cities and sent to live with foster parents in the English countryside. What happened to these children became a subject of study for psychoanalyst Anna Freud, who \u003ca href=\"https://archive.org/details/Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k\">wrote in a 1943 book\u003c/a> that young people who remained with their families through the bombing “were much less upset” than those who were sent away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her contemporary John Bowlby studied children who spent extended stays in hospitals, apart from their families. The research helped inform his influential “\u003ca href=\"http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/attachment/online/inge_origins.pdf\">attachment theory\u003c/a>,” which emphasizes the bond between parent and child and the harms that come from separating them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Those studies are part of a large body of research on what happens when kids are separated from their parents. But what about the situation unfolding now, as the coronavirus quarantine isolates children not from their primary caregivers but from their peers, teachers and everyone else in their lives?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We don’t know yet,” Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, an anthropologist and primatologist and professor emerita at the University of California-Davis, told me. “This is a kind of a drastic experiment in progress.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids are without playmates. Parents are disconnected from other adults who can help them cope. Loneliness may be amplified. There are myriad ways in which our national quarantine could affect kids but little research on it. The National Science Foundation is \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2020/03/congress-pumps-nsf-program-fast-track-covid-19-research\">fast tracking\u003c/a> grants to help researchers study these sorts of questions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For younger kids, in particular, missing out on play with peers could take a toll. Play facilitates cognitive development, said James Coan, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia who studies the neuroscience of human connection. And yet “adults are not very good playmates,” he told me. “They are boring, they are impatient and they have other things to do.” Children who don’t have siblings, a category whose \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/1-the-american-family-today/\">ranks have grown\u003c/a> in recent decades, may be particularly vulnerable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Through play and other peer interactions, children also develop social skills and a sense of morality, said Kenneth Rubin, a professor of human development and quantitative methodology at the University of Maryland. “Kids need peers,” he said. “One of the things about being stuck at home as a little kid is that you might not experience these essential interactive experiences that lead to the development of close relationships outside of the family.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not clear what difference just a few weeks or months of isolation will make. With any luck, social distancing will help halt the spread of the coronavirus and kids will be able to gradually return to their routines. Still, Hrdy points to a study by cognitive neuroscientist Arjen Stolk in which he \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130830091739.htm\">found\u003c/a> that kids who attended day care were able to interact more effectively with peers than kids who didn’t. In the study, 5-year-olds were asked to use non-verbal communication to guide children of different ages through a video game; those who’d been in day care were better able to tailor their interactions. “It didn’t take that long in day care for it to have those effects,” said Hrdy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The coronavirus isolation could also affect kids by eroding their parents’ ability to cope, researchers told me. One of the reasons kids can be challenging is because their prefrontal cortexes aren’t developed, so they aren’t able to regulate their emotions, noted Coan. Parents have to help children do that work of emotional regulation, which can be exhausting. This is where day care providers, teachers, friends, aunts and uncles come in. Not only do they take kids off the hands of their parents and allow them to recharge, but they also provide emotional support and help parents work through stress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My worry is that kids in this current pandemic are going to suffer to the degree that parents are isolated from the social networks that regulate their negative emotions,” said Coan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Deprived of access to larger networks, parents must support each other, he said. Single parents also need to try to find ways to take breaks from parenting to the extent possible. If this crisis continues for months, adults risk experiencing what’s known as “\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1197275/\">allostatic load\u003c/a>,” in which their emotional resources are depleted from prolonged exposure to stress. “If I burn through those resources more quickly, I will not have the resources to leverage when it comes to my child wondering why they can’t go to school, and not being consolable when they can’t see their friends,” said Coan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the researchers I spoke to stressed, however, that children’s experiences with the coronavirus pandemic will vary greatly. “The only thing that affects us all the same way is getting dropped head first from the 14th floor,” said Jay Belsky, the Robert M. and Natalie Reid Dorn professor of human development at the University of California-Davis. An only child, or a child who doesn’t get along well with siblings, may be more vulnerable than a kid who has a sibling playmate. Children of anxiety-prone, socially isolated parents may be more vulnerable than kids of parents who are skilled at helping each other cope. Kids who were lonely before the pandemic, and already felt that the world was against them, may be struggling more acutely now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Yes, social isolation can generate loneliness, and loneliness can be bad for mental health and wellbeing,” said Belsky. “But first that’s not going to apply to all children because some are more susceptible than others, and social support from others can temper some of those risks.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Virtual connections can also mitigate isolation, but not all kids have access to Wi-Fi and other tools that enable them to connect with their friends and extended family. “If I were to pour government into anything right now it would be Wi-Fi for everybody and get everybody a laptop,” said the University of Maryland’s Rubin. And while it’s relatively easy for adults to hold Zoom cocktail hours and exchange endless streams of text messages, some activities – like play – are harder to replicate virtually.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, Belsky said, “We don’t want to catastrophize.” Kids, and parents, have all sorts of ways of compensating for loneliness. It will be a long time before we know the effects of this unprecedented period of isolation. Said Rubin, “Covid presents us with all sorts of wonderfully perverse ways of studying the significance of relationships.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Certainly, the coronavirus is already reminding us how important we all are to each other. “As a species we’re not really adapted to reliance on one person or even two people to raise us,” said Coan. “We are suddenly seeing in very stark terms what a silly proposition it is to say kids just need their parents. It’s not true.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story on \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/a-drastic-experiment-in-progress-how-will-coronavirus-change-our-kids/\">\u003cem>effects of social isolation \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>was produced by \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/\">\u003cem>The Hechinger Report,\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/newsletters/\">\u003cem>Hechinger newsletter. \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Kids are without playmates. Parents are disconnected from other adults who can help them cope. Loneliness may be amplified. There are myriad ways in which our national quarantine could affect kids but little research on it.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This story on \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/a-drastic-experiment-in-progress-how-will-coronavirus-change-our-kids/\">\u003cem>effects of social isolation \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>was produced by \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/\">\u003cem>The Hechinger Report,\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/newsletters/\">\u003cem>Hechinger newsletter.\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the start of World War II, millions of children were evacuated from London and other cities and sent to live with foster parents in the English countryside. What happened to these children became a subject of study for psychoanalyst Anna Freud, who \u003ca href=\"https://archive.org/details/Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k\">wrote in a 1943 book\u003c/a> that young people who remained with their families through the bombing “were much less upset” than those who were sent away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her contemporary John Bowlby studied children who spent extended stays in hospitals, apart from their families. The research helped inform his influential “\u003ca href=\"http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/attachment/online/inge_origins.pdf\">attachment theory\u003c/a>,” which emphasizes the bond between parent and child and the harms that come from separating them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Those studies are part of a large body of research on what happens when kids are separated from their parents. But what about the situation unfolding now, as the coronavirus quarantine isolates children not from their primary caregivers but from their peers, teachers and everyone else in their lives?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We don’t know yet,” Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, an anthropologist and primatologist and professor emerita at the University of California-Davis, told me. “This is a kind of a drastic experiment in progress.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids are without playmates. Parents are disconnected from other adults who can help them cope. Loneliness may be amplified. There are myriad ways in which our national quarantine could affect kids but little research on it. The National Science Foundation is \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2020/03/congress-pumps-nsf-program-fast-track-covid-19-research\">fast tracking\u003c/a> grants to help researchers study these sorts of questions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For younger kids, in particular, missing out on play with peers could take a toll. Play facilitates cognitive development, said James Coan, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia who studies the neuroscience of human connection. And yet “adults are not very good playmates,” he told me. “They are boring, they are impatient and they have other things to do.” Children who don’t have siblings, a category whose \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/1-the-american-family-today/\">ranks have grown\u003c/a> in recent decades, may be particularly vulnerable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Through play and other peer interactions, children also develop social skills and a sense of morality, said Kenneth Rubin, a professor of human development and quantitative methodology at the University of Maryland. “Kids need peers,” he said. “One of the things about being stuck at home as a little kid is that you might not experience these essential interactive experiences that lead to the development of close relationships outside of the family.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not clear what difference just a few weeks or months of isolation will make. With any luck, social distancing will help halt the spread of the coronavirus and kids will be able to gradually return to their routines. Still, Hrdy points to a study by cognitive neuroscientist Arjen Stolk in which he \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130830091739.htm\">found\u003c/a> that kids who attended day care were able to interact more effectively with peers than kids who didn’t. In the study, 5-year-olds were asked to use non-verbal communication to guide children of different ages through a video game; those who’d been in day care were better able to tailor their interactions. “It didn’t take that long in day care for it to have those effects,” said Hrdy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The coronavirus isolation could also affect kids by eroding their parents’ ability to cope, researchers told me. One of the reasons kids can be challenging is because their prefrontal cortexes aren’t developed, so they aren’t able to regulate their emotions, noted Coan. Parents have to help children do that work of emotional regulation, which can be exhausting. This is where day care providers, teachers, friends, aunts and uncles come in. Not only do they take kids off the hands of their parents and allow them to recharge, but they also provide emotional support and help parents work through stress.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“My worry is that kids in this current pandemic are going to suffer to the degree that parents are isolated from the social networks that regulate their negative emotions,” said Coan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Deprived of access to larger networks, parents must support each other, he said. Single parents also need to try to find ways to take breaks from parenting to the extent possible. If this crisis continues for months, adults risk experiencing what’s known as “\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1197275/\">allostatic load\u003c/a>,” in which their emotional resources are depleted from prolonged exposure to stress. “If I burn through those resources more quickly, I will not have the resources to leverage when it comes to my child wondering why they can’t go to school, and not being consolable when they can’t see their friends,” said Coan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All the researchers I spoke to stressed, however, that children’s experiences with the coronavirus pandemic will vary greatly. “The only thing that affects us all the same way is getting dropped head first from the 14th floor,” said Jay Belsky, the Robert M. and Natalie Reid Dorn professor of human development at the University of California-Davis. An only child, or a child who doesn’t get along well with siblings, may be more vulnerable than a kid who has a sibling playmate. Children of anxiety-prone, socially isolated parents may be more vulnerable than kids of parents who are skilled at helping each other cope. Kids who were lonely before the pandemic, and already felt that the world was against them, may be struggling more acutely now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Yes, social isolation can generate loneliness, and loneliness can be bad for mental health and wellbeing,” said Belsky. “But first that’s not going to apply to all children because some are more susceptible than others, and social support from others can temper some of those risks.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Virtual connections can also mitigate isolation, but not all kids have access to Wi-Fi and other tools that enable them to connect with their friends and extended family. “If I were to pour government into anything right now it would be Wi-Fi for everybody and get everybody a laptop,” said the University of Maryland’s Rubin. And while it’s relatively easy for adults to hold Zoom cocktail hours and exchange endless streams of text messages, some activities – like play – are harder to replicate virtually.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still, Belsky said, “We don’t want to catastrophize.” Kids, and parents, have all sorts of ways of compensating for loneliness. It will be a long time before we know the effects of this unprecedented period of isolation. Said Rubin, “Covid presents us with all sorts of wonderfully perverse ways of studying the significance of relationships.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Certainly, the coronavirus is already reminding us how important we all are to each other. “As a species we’re not really adapted to reliance on one person or even two people to raise us,” said Coan. “We are suddenly seeing in very stark terms what a silly proposition it is to say kids just need their parents. It’s not true.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This story on \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/a-drastic-experiment-in-progress-how-will-coronavirus-change-our-kids/\">\u003cem>effects of social isolation \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem>was produced by \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/\">\u003cem>The Hechinger Report,\u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003cem> a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for the \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://hechingerreport.org/newsletters/\">\u003cem>Hechinger newsletter. \u003c/em>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "When a Child's Emotions Spike, How Can a Parent Find Their Best Self?",
"title": "When a Child's Emotions Spike, How Can a Parent Find Their Best Self?",
"headTitle": "MindShift | KQED News",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">With families around the world spending unprecedented amounts of time in close quarters – and under varying degrees of stress – emotions can run high. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In good times and in hard times, parents can take steps to help their children strengthen their emotional competence. As parents, “we are co-creating the emotion system for our kids” says Dr. Marc Brackett, Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Feel-Unlocking-Emotions-Ourselves/dp/1250212847\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\"Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Emotions are constructed by our interactions with other people,” says Brackett. Caring for a child's emotional development is key to life-long flourishing “because while part of our success in life is knowing how to count and read and write, a bigger part of our success in life is knowing how to get along well with other people and deal with life's ups and downs.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents may not always feel up to this task – especially in challenging moments – and yet parenting can be an opportunity for adults to strengthen their own emotional intelligence. In order to help children regulate their own emotions, we must keep working on regulating our own, says Brackett. “It's all about adult development.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Responding to Children’s Signals\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The emotion system is a signal system, and how we feel on the inside drives how we approach a task, says Brackett. How we read and interpret the emotions in other people also sends signals to our brain. “When I look at your facial expression, if you are displaying a lot of anger, it says to me, ‘Avoid. Avoid. Avoid!’ That's what emotions do. They signal,” says Brackett.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But here’s a crucial difference when it comes to parenting: when our children send out classic “avoid” signals – such as yelling or angry expressions – this is actually a signal to \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">approach\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> them. “That’s really critical for parents: for kids, all emotions are approach.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As adults, we often give our friends and partners space when they are in a bad mood. But with young kids, “you always have to follow up,” says Brackett. “It’s your moral obligation to know what your child is feeling and to support them in developing healthy strategies.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This can be very difficult. When adults are under stress, our instinctive biological response is to fight, flee or freeze. “Many parents get easily activated and triggered by their kids. The kid throws something, the kid is crying, the kid is screaming, ‘I hate you!’ and all of a sudden you're triggered.” In these moments, take a deep breath and try to replace “fight or flight” with “stay and help,” says Brackett.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When both parent and child are emotionally activated, it’s “very hard to problem solve” – so parents may need to take a walk or time to collect themselves. But it is critical to circle back and attend to the child.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Getting Curious About Emotion\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Feelings offer information about what might be happening within the individual. One strategy for improving emotional regulation is to become an “emotion scientist.” Brackett encourages adults to “get curious” about emotions – their own and their children’s. Parents are often tempted to be an “emotions judge” by challenging, shaming or minimizing a child's big feelings. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In contrast, “the emotion scientist is the curious explorer of their child’s emotions,” says Brackett. A preschooler’s angry outburst might indicate they are overstimulated, stressed, in need of connection, hurt by someone’s actions, or in need of a snack or a nap. “The emotion scientist says, ‘My child needs some support here.’ Let me see what kind of strategies I can use to help my child deal with emotions. The emotion judge says, ‘Get over it.’” When adults train themselves to see all emotions as information, they can use that data to support their child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Using open-ended questions can help children process emotions. Rather than saying, “Pull it together,” a parent might say, “It looks like you are really upset about something. What happened? Tell me more about that.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brackett recommends the phrase, \"Tell me more\" because it’s simple, gentle and indicates non-judgemental curiosity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Skills of an Emotion Scientist\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brackett and his team \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use the acronym RULER \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">to describe five key skills parents and teachers can help children cultivate. Here is how he \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">describes them in his book:\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">R: RECOGNIZE our own emotions and those of others, not just in the things we think, feel, and say but in facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and other nonverbal signals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">U: UNDERSTAND those feelings and determine their source— what experiences actually caused them— and then see how they’ve influenced our behaviors.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">L: LABEL emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">E: EXPRESS our feelings in accordance with cultural norms and social contexts in a way that tries to inform and invites empathy from the listener.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">R: REGULATE emotions, rather than letting them regulate us, by finding practical strategies for dealing with what we and others feel.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For young children, developing an emotional vocabulary is a powerful tool. “Labeling emotions is a form of communication. It helps us make meaning of our experiences and communicate that to others.” Learning the difference between anger, frustration, annoyance, and disappointment can help children think about the causes of their emotions. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take disappointment and anger, says Brackett. “\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oftentimes they look the same, but their underlying cause is completely different. One is about unmet expectations. The other is about injustice. And I would say 99% of the people I talk to have no clue about that. Yet the strategy for helping my child manage disappointment would be very different than it is for anger.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take a child who says, “I hate school.” When the adult gets curious and asks questions, the child offers, “Nobody wants to play with me.” Now you are learning something, says Brackett. Ask a few more questions and you might discover that they sit by themselves as recess. “And now you realize that your child is feeling left out. They are not just sad – they are actually feeling isolated and alienated. That points to a different strategy you might take as a parent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>“How Would My Best Self Respond?”\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children are great anthropologists of parent behavior. They watch how we handle stress and how we recover from episodes of fear, frustration, anger, and disappointment. Brackett urges parents to pay attention to their self-talk – because our children are listening when we say “I’m an idiot” or “ I’m going to lose it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">With practice, parents can use self-talk to model healthier ways of moving through emotion. It might sound like, “Mommy had a really long day at work and needs a little space to take a deep breath. I want to talk to you, but first I need to take a little break and then come back to you”; or instead of saying “I’m so stupid! I always mess up this recipe,” saying “Well, daddy did it again! So now I’m going to take a step back and figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents feel their emotions spike, they can take a meta moment, says Bracket. This is a process that helps us build awareness of our triggers, “and parents have a zillion of these – when my kids pull my hair, when they're nagging, when they are whining about going to bed, when they refuse to eat things.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, just be aware of your triggers. Next, notice where your brain goes when you experience one. What is your automatic, go-to self-talk? Is it “I hate my life?” Is it “I can’t handle this?” What is your go-to behavior? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When you are aware of your triggers and your habitual, unhelpful reactions, you can begin to purposefully move away from these into healthier ways of responding. “Immediately pause and take a breath,” says Brackett. “You have to give yourself space. That deep breath helps you deactivate the reaction and activate your best self. Ask yourself, ‘How would my best self respond?’”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Keeping your “best self” in mind helps you make better decisions in the face of strong, uncomfortable emotions. As Brackett shared, his “best self” is kind and compassionate. So when he’s triggered, he asks himself, “How does a kind, compassionate dad respond?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These meta-moments “help you take a step back, shift your attention away from the stimulus, bring it back to your values and goals as a parent. And by the way, it's really freaking hard! So give yourself permission to feel, fail and forgive.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Good News For Parents and Kids\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">All parents have moments when they overreact – especially when they are under stress. “The good news is that we are more resilient than we think we are,” says Brackett. “We can undo things and learn new things. And that means you can start today and start tomorrow. We can change the relationships we have with our kids if we work on developing ourselves.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In addition, “research shows that the mere presence of a caring and loving adult is a co-regulation strategy. If our children believe in their soul that the person they are with cares about them and is there for them – even if that person doesn’t say anything – that’s a strategy. Think about those people who, just being in their presence, make you feel safe.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It’s never too late to strengthen your emotional skills and help your children strengthen theirs. “A child’s brain is still plastic, so the minute you start regulating your emotions better, their brains will change to reflect that.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">With families around the world spending unprecedented amounts of time in close quarters – and under varying degrees of stress – emotions can run high. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In good times and in hard times, parents can take steps to help their children strengthen their emotional competence. As parents, “we are co-creating the emotion system for our kids” says Dr. Marc Brackett, Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Feel-Unlocking-Emotions-Ourselves/dp/1250212847\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\"Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Emotions are constructed by our interactions with other people,” says Brackett. Caring for a child's emotional development is key to life-long flourishing “because while part of our success in life is knowing how to count and read and write, a bigger part of our success in life is knowing how to get along well with other people and deal with life's ups and downs.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents may not always feel up to this task – especially in challenging moments – and yet parenting can be an opportunity for adults to strengthen their own emotional intelligence. In order to help children regulate their own emotions, we must keep working on regulating our own, says Brackett. “It's all about adult development.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Responding to Children’s Signals\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The emotion system is a signal system, and how we feel on the inside drives how we approach a task, says Brackett. How we read and interpret the emotions in other people also sends signals to our brain. “When I look at your facial expression, if you are displaying a lot of anger, it says to me, ‘Avoid. Avoid. Avoid!’ That's what emotions do. They signal,” says Brackett.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But here’s a crucial difference when it comes to parenting: when our children send out classic “avoid” signals – such as yelling or angry expressions – this is actually a signal to \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">approach\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> them. “That’s really critical for parents: for kids, all emotions are approach.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As adults, we often give our friends and partners space when they are in a bad mood. But with young kids, “you always have to follow up,” says Brackett. “It’s your moral obligation to know what your child is feeling and to support them in developing healthy strategies.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This can be very difficult. When adults are under stress, our instinctive biological response is to fight, flee or freeze. “Many parents get easily activated and triggered by their kids. The kid throws something, the kid is crying, the kid is screaming, ‘I hate you!’ and all of a sudden you're triggered.” In these moments, take a deep breath and try to replace “fight or flight” with “stay and help,” says Brackett.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When both parent and child are emotionally activated, it’s “very hard to problem solve” – so parents may need to take a walk or time to collect themselves. But it is critical to circle back and attend to the child.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Getting Curious About Emotion\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Feelings offer information about what might be happening within the individual. One strategy for improving emotional regulation is to become an “emotion scientist.” Brackett encourages adults to “get curious” about emotions – their own and their children’s. Parents are often tempted to be an “emotions judge” by challenging, shaming or minimizing a child's big feelings. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In contrast, “the emotion scientist is the curious explorer of their child’s emotions,” says Brackett. A preschooler’s angry outburst might indicate they are overstimulated, stressed, in need of connection, hurt by someone’s actions, or in need of a snack or a nap. “The emotion scientist says, ‘My child needs some support here.’ Let me see what kind of strategies I can use to help my child deal with emotions. The emotion judge says, ‘Get over it.’” When adults train themselves to see all emotions as information, they can use that data to support their child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Using open-ended questions can help children process emotions. Rather than saying, “Pull it together,” a parent might say, “It looks like you are really upset about something. What happened? Tell me more about that.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brackett recommends the phrase, \"Tell me more\" because it’s simple, gentle and indicates non-judgemental curiosity. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Skills of an Emotion Scientist\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brackett and his team \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use the acronym RULER \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">to describe five key skills parents and teachers can help children cultivate. Here is how he \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">describes them in his book:\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">R: RECOGNIZE our own emotions and those of others, not just in the things we think, feel, and say but in facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and other nonverbal signals.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">U: UNDERSTAND those feelings and determine their source— what experiences actually caused them— and then see how they’ve influenced our behaviors.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">L: LABEL emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">E: EXPRESS our feelings in accordance with cultural norms and social contexts in a way that tries to inform and invites empathy from the listener.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">R: REGULATE emotions, rather than letting them regulate us, by finding practical strategies for dealing with what we and others feel.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For young children, developing an emotional vocabulary is a powerful tool. “Labeling emotions is a form of communication. It helps us make meaning of our experiences and communicate that to others.” Learning the difference between anger, frustration, annoyance, and disappointment can help children think about the causes of their emotions. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take disappointment and anger, says Brackett. “\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Oftentimes they look the same, but their underlying cause is completely different. One is about unmet expectations. The other is about injustice. And I would say 99% of the people I talk to have no clue about that. Yet the strategy for helping my child manage disappointment would be very different than it is for anger.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Take a child who says, “I hate school.” When the adult gets curious and asks questions, the child offers, “Nobody wants to play with me.” Now you are learning something, says Brackett. Ask a few more questions and you might discover that they sit by themselves as recess. “And now you realize that your child is feeling left out. They are not just sad – they are actually feeling isolated and alienated. That points to a different strategy you might take as a parent.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>“How Would My Best Self Respond?”\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children are great anthropologists of parent behavior. They watch how we handle stress and how we recover from episodes of fear, frustration, anger, and disappointment. Brackett urges parents to pay attention to their self-talk – because our children are listening when we say “I’m an idiot” or “ I’m going to lose it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">With practice, parents can use self-talk to model healthier ways of moving through emotion. It might sound like, “Mommy had a really long day at work and needs a little space to take a deep breath. I want to talk to you, but first I need to take a little break and then come back to you”; or instead of saying “I’m so stupid! I always mess up this recipe,” saying “Well, daddy did it again! So now I’m going to take a step back and figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents feel their emotions spike, they can take a meta moment, says Bracket. This is a process that helps us build awareness of our triggers, “and parents have a zillion of these – when my kids pull my hair, when they're nagging, when they are whining about going to bed, when they refuse to eat things.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, just be aware of your triggers. Next, notice where your brain goes when you experience one. What is your automatic, go-to self-talk? Is it “I hate my life?” Is it “I can’t handle this?” What is your go-to behavior? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When you are aware of your triggers and your habitual, unhelpful reactions, you can begin to purposefully move away from these into healthier ways of responding. “Immediately pause and take a breath,” says Brackett. “You have to give yourself space. That deep breath helps you deactivate the reaction and activate your best self. Ask yourself, ‘How would my best self respond?’”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Keeping your “best self” in mind helps you make better decisions in the face of strong, uncomfortable emotions. As Brackett shared, his “best self” is kind and compassionate. So when he’s triggered, he asks himself, “How does a kind, compassionate dad respond?”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These meta-moments “help you take a step back, shift your attention away from the stimulus, bring it back to your values and goals as a parent. And by the way, it's really freaking hard! So give yourself permission to feel, fail and forgive.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>The Good News For Parents and Kids\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">All parents have moments when they overreact – especially when they are under stress. “The good news is that we are more resilient than we think we are,” says Brackett. “We can undo things and learn new things. And that means you can start today and start tomorrow. We can change the relationships we have with our kids if we work on developing ourselves.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In addition, “research shows that the mere presence of a caring and loving adult is a co-regulation strategy. If our children believe in their soul that the person they are with cares about them and is there for them – even if that person doesn’t say anything – that’s a strategy. Think about those people who, just being in their presence, make you feel safe.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Why Making Time for Friends is Good for Your Health",
"title": "Why Making Time for Friends is Good for Your Health",
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"content": "\u003cp>Lydia Denworth wants you to make more time for your friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We don't fully appreciate our friendships, says the science writer and author of the new book \u003cem>Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond.\u003c/em> If we did, we'd take cultivating those intimate bonds as seriously as working out or eating well. Because, she writes, a new field of science is revealing that social connections play a vital role in our health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On average, people have only four very close relationships, Denworth finds, and very few people can sustain more than six. But the effect of these few core relationships extends beyond our social lives, influencing our health on the cellular level — from our immune system to our cardiovascular system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Denworth spoke with NPR about the science of friendship and its underestimated value to kids and adults and even for other species like sheep and fish. (Although she's frequently asked about human-animal friendships, Denworth sticks to bonds within one species in the book.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for clarity and length.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What is most misunderstood about friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very few people understand that your social relationships can actually change your health. They can change your cardiovascular system, your immune system, how you sleep, your cognitive health. How could this thing that exists entirely outside the body affect whether you're likely to catch a virus? And yet that's exactly what we now know that social connection does. We thought of loneliness as this difficult emotion, but just an emotion. And we think of friends as this lovely thing — but it is actually a matter of life and death. And there's this evolutionary drive to connect. People think all the time about competition and survival of the fittest, but really it's survival of the friendliest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is friendship just something humans do, or do we see it in other species?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What has been surprising to evolutionary biologists is just how much friendship exists across species. They have found something that looks like friendship in dolphins, and elephants, and horses, and zebras, and hyenas and all kinds of species. Even fish — their brains respond to familiar fish versus strange fish in ways that look a lot like what goes on in our brains. Understanding that tells you there's this much larger story than just human culture. And that's what people thought friendship was: a product of human culture and language. But now we understand that it is universal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Are bonds with friends different from bonds with romantic or sexual partners? Or bonds with family?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't actually think that it's all that unique. We generally think of friends as people we don't have sex with and to whom we're not related. But the truth is that in this new science and in fact the way we live our lives, those lines are blurred. I think of friendship now as a template for all your relationships, because if you think about the sort of basic definition of friendship — it makes you feel good, it's positive, a long-lasting stable relationship, and it has some cooperation and reciprocity to it — that's what you want to be striving for in your closest relationships. And that can be with your spouse or your sibling or a relative, but not always. What matters is the quality of the bond, not its origin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Does gender play a role in friendships? \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The standard line is that women do friendship face-to-face and men do it side by side, meaning women spend their time talking and men do things together. And there's truth to that, but when you ask men how much they value friendship, their answers are the same, for the most part. The similarities are greater than the differences between men and women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>One of your chapters focuses on the social aspect of middle school. How did researching that affect your thinking as a parent?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The middle school thing, it's such a crucible. And it really is true: Middle school is about lunch. Most parents thinking about their kids going into middle school, they do know that socially it can be a very difficult time, but they don't necessarily think about how that plays out in the course of a day. [Realizing] that crystallized to me this idea that friendship really, really matters in kids' lives, and we are falling down on the job, as parents and teachers, if we aren't fully understanding that. Things that I might have said no to before, I am more likely to say yes to now, if it means that my kids are going to be with their good friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is social media helping or hurting our friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Friendship is alive and well in the age of social media. In terms of relationships and connectivity and networks, it's a positive. The place where it is hard on relationships is when you're face-to-face and instead of looking at your friends, you're looking at your phone. Looking at a person face-to-face, in person, your brain responds differently even if you look at that same person on a screen, and certainly if you're online and not looking at their face. There's all this talk about the word \"friend\" being devalued by things like Facebook using [the term], but I don't really think that's true. We know who our really good friends are, whether we're online with them or offline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you see friendship taken for granted in the world around you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I do. Friendship is so familiar that we think we know all about it, but we don't fully appreciate it. We think it's pleasurable and fun, but friends are often the first thing to go when you're busy. Or you fall in love and ditch your friends. I was guilty myself of passing a friend on the street corner here in Brooklyn and saying, \"Let's definitely get together,\" and then not. We are so achievement driven in so much of what we do. I think it's healthy to be reminded that time with other people really matters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How did writing this book make you think differently about your own friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's made me prioritize them more. The message is not that I want people to think of friendship as another chore. I am hoping that people feel this is giving them permission to make friends a priority. To spend time with their friends and to know that when they do, they're doing something good for their own health and for their friends' health, and I've taken that to heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Elena Renken is an intern on the NPR science desk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Survival+Of+The+Friendliest%3A+How+Our+Close+Friendships+Help+Us+Thrive&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Lydia Denworth wants you to make more time for your friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We don't fully appreciate our friendships, says the science writer and author of the new book \u003cem>Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond.\u003c/em> If we did, we'd take cultivating those intimate bonds as seriously as working out or eating well. Because, she writes, a new field of science is revealing that social connections play a vital role in our health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On average, people have only four very close relationships, Denworth finds, and very few people can sustain more than six. But the effect of these few core relationships extends beyond our social lives, influencing our health on the cellular level — from our immune system to our cardiovascular system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Denworth spoke with NPR about the science of friendship and its underestimated value to kids and adults and even for other species like sheep and fish. (Although she's frequently asked about human-animal friendships, Denworth sticks to bonds within one species in the book.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for clarity and length.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What is most misunderstood about friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very few people understand that your social relationships can actually change your health. They can change your cardiovascular system, your immune system, how you sleep, your cognitive health. How could this thing that exists entirely outside the body affect whether you're likely to catch a virus? And yet that's exactly what we now know that social connection does. We thought of loneliness as this difficult emotion, but just an emotion. And we think of friends as this lovely thing — but it is actually a matter of life and death. And there's this evolutionary drive to connect. People think all the time about competition and survival of the fittest, but really it's survival of the friendliest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is friendship just something humans do, or do we see it in other species?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What has been surprising to evolutionary biologists is just how much friendship exists across species. They have found something that looks like friendship in dolphins, and elephants, and horses, and zebras, and hyenas and all kinds of species. Even fish — their brains respond to familiar fish versus strange fish in ways that look a lot like what goes on in our brains. Understanding that tells you there's this much larger story than just human culture. And that's what people thought friendship was: a product of human culture and language. But now we understand that it is universal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Are bonds with friends different from bonds with romantic or sexual partners? Or bonds with family?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't actually think that it's all that unique. We generally think of friends as people we don't have sex with and to whom we're not related. But the truth is that in this new science and in fact the way we live our lives, those lines are blurred. I think of friendship now as a template for all your relationships, because if you think about the sort of basic definition of friendship — it makes you feel good, it's positive, a long-lasting stable relationship, and it has some cooperation and reciprocity to it — that's what you want to be striving for in your closest relationships. And that can be with your spouse or your sibling or a relative, but not always. What matters is the quality of the bond, not its origin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Does gender play a role in friendships? \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The standard line is that women do friendship face-to-face and men do it side by side, meaning women spend their time talking and men do things together. And there's truth to that, but when you ask men how much they value friendship, their answers are the same, for the most part. The similarities are greater than the differences between men and women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>One of your chapters focuses on the social aspect of middle school. How did researching that affect your thinking as a parent?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The middle school thing, it's such a crucible. And it really is true: Middle school is about lunch. Most parents thinking about their kids going into middle school, they do know that socially it can be a very difficult time, but they don't necessarily think about how that plays out in the course of a day. [Realizing] that crystallized to me this idea that friendship really, really matters in kids' lives, and we are falling down on the job, as parents and teachers, if we aren't fully understanding that. Things that I might have said no to before, I am more likely to say yes to now, if it means that my kids are going to be with their good friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is social media helping or hurting our friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Friendship is alive and well in the age of social media. In terms of relationships and connectivity and networks, it's a positive. The place where it is hard on relationships is when you're face-to-face and instead of looking at your friends, you're looking at your phone. Looking at a person face-to-face, in person, your brain responds differently even if you look at that same person on a screen, and certainly if you're online and not looking at their face. There's all this talk about the word \"friend\" being devalued by things like Facebook using [the term], but I don't really think that's true. We know who our really good friends are, whether we're online with them or offline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you see friendship taken for granted in the world around you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I do. Friendship is so familiar that we think we know all about it, but we don't fully appreciate it. We think it's pleasurable and fun, but friends are often the first thing to go when you're busy. Or you fall in love and ditch your friends. I was guilty myself of passing a friend on the street corner here in Brooklyn and saying, \"Let's definitely get together,\" and then not. We are so achievement driven in so much of what we do. I think it's healthy to be reminded that time with other people really matters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How did writing this book make you think differently about your own friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's made me prioritize them more. The message is not that I want people to think of friendship as another chore. I am hoping that people feel this is giving them permission to make friends a priority. To spend time with their friends and to know that when they do, they're doing something good for their own health and for their friends' health, and I've taken that to heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Elena Renken is an intern on the NPR science desk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Survival+Of+The+Friendliest%3A+How+Our+Close+Friendships+Help+Us+Thrive&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Debbie Barkley held her string tightly and directed the teachers around her to tug theirs downward as they maneuvered a rubber band around the sides of a red Solo cup. “This is so frustrating,” Barkley said when one of the cups fell over, not for the first time. “My fifth graders would be yelling at each other at this point.” A few minutes later, when the group succeeded in stacking several cups in a prescribed arrangement, teacher Ami Patel-Hopkins, exclaimed, “Oh, I love my group!”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That range of emotions is what \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tsaientificmethod.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kathleen Tsai\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a chemistry teacher who facilitated the exercise, expected. “It’s frustrating but then you have a sense of fulfillment,” she said during a group reflection at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://2020.educon.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">EduCon 2020\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a school innovation conference. “The amount of frustration I feel when I do this is the same as my students feel when they’re doing algebra. I’m sweating when I’m stacking cups; they’re sweating when they’re doing homework.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Empathizing with students’ emotional experiences was a central component of the workshop that Tsai led on \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/resilience\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cultivating resilience\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/science\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">science class\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Educators have increasingly focused on the role of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48984/what-do-we-mean-when-we-say-social-and-emotional-skills\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social and emotional learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49870/setting-school-culture-with-social-and-emotional-learning-routines\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">school culture\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">student success\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but participants at Tsai’s session said the opportunities to teach such skills arise more naturally in humanities courses. At the same time, they agreed that collaboration and the ability to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/44870/how-teens-benefit-from-reading-about-the-struggles-of-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">persist through failure\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are critical in science. Through Tsai’s exercises and reflections on their classroom experiences, the group discussed how to strengthen communication and build resilience among their students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Start Early\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Devoting time early in the year to cooperative games allows students to practice healthy communication and conflict resolution before academic content is in the mix. Tsai, who teaches at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://slabeeber.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Science Leadership Academy Beeber\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> — a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/project-based-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">project-based learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> school — does the cups activity with her students in the first week of class. By trying it themselves, the EduCon participants experienced some of the emotions that students might during group work. In the discussion, one teacher said she found having clear roles helpful as problems arose. (Before the activity began, group members elected to be communications manager, resource manager, task manager or group manager. Tsai provided explicit descriptions for each role.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tsai pointed out that when one of the groups asked for tips, she told them to figure it out, rather than giving them the answers. Whether with cups or lab work, students often hate that response, Tsai said, and several teachers shouted “yes!” in agreement. Overcoming such hurdles in a low-stakes cooperative game creates a foundation of resilience that can be strengthened as students face similar challenges when science content and grades are involved.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The group discussion, too, was a model for classrooms. As one teacher noted, talking about what behaviors were productive and unproductive in the cups game helped him reflect on how he reacted to the exercise and his teammates. Tsai suggested some “actionable norms” that can come from student discussions about cooperative games: work persistently, take risks and communicate productively.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Build Emotional Vocabulary\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tsai said her first year of teaching was \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53640/12-ways-teachers-can-build-resilience-so-they-can-make-systemic-change\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">emotionally challenging\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. She eventually realized this was unsurprising, since she was surrounded by \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49829/how-schools-can-help-students-manage-and-mitigate-anxiety\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">emotional teenagers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> every day. “Students say things like ‘I can’t do this,’ ‘I give up,’ ‘I hate this/I hate you,’” Tsai said. “What they really mean is ‘I’m frustrated.’”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During the EduCon session, teachers did a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.theteachertoolkit.com/index.php/tool/gallery-walk\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">gallery walk\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> focused on statements about vulnerability, shame and courage. When teachers can get in touch with those three emotions themselves, she said, they are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">better equipped to help students navigate them\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Tsai has begun talking directly about those feelings with her students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55338\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/02/20200125_135518-e1582014784823.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In an EduCon 2020 session on social emotional learning in science, teachers did a gallery walk examining statements about vulnerability, shame and courage. \u003c/span>They reflected on a quote by Brené Brown: \"We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.\" \u003ccite>(Kara Newhouse)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The gallery walk quotes came from researcher \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://brenebrown.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brené Brown\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, whose books and talks have helped Tsai develop emotional vocabulary for herself and her students. Different resources might resonate for other teachers. “Think about what the students struggle with,” Tsai said. “How do you help yourself with that?” That’s a good starting point.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Practice/Repeat\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with other types of learning, social emotional learning is not a one-and-done process. Tsai creates opportunities to practice social and emotional skills throughout the curriculum. On her blog, she recently shared an activity for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tsaientificmethod.com/blog/teaching-active-listening-for-richer-conversations\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">teaching active listening skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. After Tsai modeled active listening and provided sentence starters, her students tried it out with topics they chose. Eventually, they progressed to a topic relevant to their studies — gene therapy and bioethics. Tsai wrote that she used to hate class discussions “because the students never actually listened to each other,” but at the end of these conversations her students reported feeling engaged and challenged.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ami Patel-Hopkins, who teaches at Science Leadership Academy Middle School, shared that she uses neuroscience to connect social and emotional skills to science content. By teaching about parts of the brain associated with emotional responses, she increases students’ awareness of what might be \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51237/why-teens-should-understand-their-own-brains-and-why-their-teachers-should-too\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">happening in their own brains\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and bodies in stressful moments. She said she peppers her classes with relevant reminders, such as “Use your prefrontal cortex!” when a task requires thoughtful decision-making.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55339\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/02/20200125_142236-e1582015093318.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1263\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Teacher Kathleen Tsai discusses the role of vulnerability, shame and courage in student experiences of science class. \u003ccite>(Kara Newhouse)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Other teachers at Tsai’s session agreed that building social and emotional skills in science class will require repetition and practice in different contexts throughout the year. They ended the workshop by offering six-word summaries of their takeaways, including:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“You should model for your students.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It’s a mitzvah to be corrected.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Emotions underpin all academic work, period.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Debbie Barkley held her string tightly and directed the teachers around her to tug theirs downward as they maneuvered a rubber band around the sides of a red Solo cup. “This is so frustrating,” Barkley said when one of the cups fell over, not for the first time. “My fifth graders would be yelling at each other at this point.” A few minutes later, when the group succeeded in stacking several cups in a prescribed arrangement, teacher Ami Patel-Hopkins, exclaimed, “Oh, I love my group!”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">That range of emotions is what \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tsaientificmethod.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kathleen Tsai\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a chemistry teacher who facilitated the exercise, expected. “It’s frustrating but then you have a sense of fulfillment,” she said during a group reflection at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://2020.educon.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">EduCon 2020\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a school innovation conference. “The amount of frustration I feel when I do this is the same as my students feel when they’re doing algebra. I’m sweating when I’m stacking cups; they’re sweating when they’re doing homework.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Empathizing with students’ emotional experiences was a central component of the workshop that Tsai led on \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/resilience\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cultivating resilience\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/science\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">science class\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Educators have increasingly focused on the role of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48984/what-do-we-mean-when-we-say-social-and-emotional-skills\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social and emotional learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49870/setting-school-culture-with-social-and-emotional-learning-routines\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">school culture\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54878/how-strengthening-relationships-with-boys-can-help-them-learn\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">student success\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but participants at Tsai’s session said the opportunities to teach such skills arise more naturally in humanities courses. At the same time, they agreed that collaboration and the ability to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/44870/how-teens-benefit-from-reading-about-the-struggles-of-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">persist through failure\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are critical in science. Through Tsai’s exercises and reflections on their classroom experiences, the group discussed how to strengthen communication and build resilience among their students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Start Early\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Devoting time early in the year to cooperative games allows students to practice healthy communication and conflict resolution before academic content is in the mix. Tsai, who teaches at \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://slabeeber.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Science Leadership Academy Beeber\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> — a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/project-based-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">project-based learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> school — does the cups activity with her students in the first week of class. By trying it themselves, the EduCon participants experienced some of the emotions that students might during group work. In the discussion, one teacher said she found having clear roles helpful as problems arose. (Before the activity began, group members elected to be communications manager, resource manager, task manager or group manager. Tsai provided explicit descriptions for each role.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tsai pointed out that when one of the groups asked for tips, she told them to figure it out, rather than giving them the answers. Whether with cups or lab work, students often hate that response, Tsai said, and several teachers shouted “yes!” in agreement. Overcoming such hurdles in a low-stakes cooperative game creates a foundation of resilience that can be strengthened as students face similar challenges when science content and grades are involved.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The group discussion, too, was a model for classrooms. As one teacher noted, talking about what behaviors were productive and unproductive in the cups game helped him reflect on how he reacted to the exercise and his teammates. Tsai suggested some “actionable norms” that can come from student discussions about cooperative games: work persistently, take risks and communicate productively.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Build Emotional Vocabulary\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Tsai said her first year of teaching was \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53640/12-ways-teachers-can-build-resilience-so-they-can-make-systemic-change\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">emotionally challenging\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. She eventually realized this was unsurprising, since she was surrounded by \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49829/how-schools-can-help-students-manage-and-mitigate-anxiety\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">emotional teenagers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> every day. “Students say things like ‘I can’t do this,’ ‘I give up,’ ‘I hate this/I hate you,’” Tsai said. “What they really mean is ‘I’m frustrated.’”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">During the EduCon session, teachers did a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.theteachertoolkit.com/index.php/tool/gallery-walk\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">gallery walk\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> focused on statements about vulnerability, shame and courage. When teachers can get in touch with those three emotions themselves, she said, they are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54853/why-its-imperative-we-all-learn-to-be-emotion-scientists\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">better equipped to help students navigate them\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Tsai has begun talking directly about those feelings with her students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55338\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/02/20200125_135518-e1582014784823.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In an EduCon 2020 session on social emotional learning in science, teachers did a gallery walk examining statements about vulnerability, shame and courage. \u003c/span>They reflected on a quote by Brené Brown: \"We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.\" \u003ccite>(Kara Newhouse)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The gallery walk quotes came from researcher \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://brenebrown.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brené Brown\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, whose books and talks have helped Tsai develop emotional vocabulary for herself and her students. Different resources might resonate for other teachers. “Think about what the students struggle with,” Tsai said. “How do you help yourself with that?” That’s a good starting point.\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1>\u003cb>Practice/Repeat\u003c/b>\u003c/h1>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with other types of learning, social emotional learning is not a one-and-done process. Tsai creates opportunities to practice social and emotional skills throughout the curriculum. On her blog, she recently shared an activity for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tsaientificmethod.com/blog/teaching-active-listening-for-richer-conversations\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">teaching active listening skills\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. After Tsai modeled active listening and provided sentence starters, her students tried it out with topics they chose. Eventually, they progressed to a topic relevant to their studies — gene therapy and bioethics. Tsai wrote that she used to hate class discussions “because the students never actually listened to each other,” but at the end of these conversations her students reported feeling engaged and challenged.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ami Patel-Hopkins, who teaches at Science Leadership Academy Middle School, shared that she uses neuroscience to connect social and emotional skills to science content. By teaching about parts of the brain associated with emotional responses, she increases students’ awareness of what might be \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51237/why-teens-should-understand-their-own-brains-and-why-their-teachers-should-too\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">happening in their own brains\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and bodies in stressful moments. She said she peppers her classes with relevant reminders, such as “Use your prefrontal cortex!” when a task requires thoughtful decision-making.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55339\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/02/20200125_142236-e1582015093318.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1263\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Teacher Kathleen Tsai discusses the role of vulnerability, shame and courage in student experiences of science class. \u003ccite>(Kara Newhouse)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Other teachers at Tsai’s session agreed that building social and emotional skills in science class will require repetition and practice in different contexts throughout the year. They ended the workshop by offering six-word summaries of their takeaways, including:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“You should model for your students.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“It’s a mitzvah to be corrected.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Emotions underpin all academic work, period.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Five Best Practices Teachers Can Learn from Dungeon Masters",
"title": "Five Best Practices Teachers Can Learn from Dungeon Masters",
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"content": "\u003cp>“Being a good teacher is exactly like being a good Dungeon Master, but with far more pressure,” said Kade Wells, who uses \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> with his high school students. As a preservice teacher he was struck by how much lesson planning felt like preparing for a \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> campaign and, ever since, he’s plotted his classes with a Dungeon Master’s cunning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dungeon Master (DM) is the popular role-playing game’s chief storyteller and referee. A DM designs and administers the medieval fantasy world where a party of player-adventurers quest for loot and glory. It’s a big job: they plan and narrate the story, enforce rules, settle disputes, draft floor plans and accommodate players’ whims. Like teachers, DMs aim to guide, challenge and engage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This series has looked at how \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> and similar role-playing games (RPGs) have been used for learning. Be it in classrooms or afterschool clubs, \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> has been used to\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\"> support literacy\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">s\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">ocial emotional development\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51790/how-dungeons-dragons-primes-students-for-interdisciplinary-learning-including-stem\">interdisciplinary studies\u003c/a> and to inspire teachers to structure their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">classes as games\u003c/a>. In all of these cases, teachers and professors channeled their inner Dungeon Master to reimagine how learning takes place in their classes and schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But what, specifically, are the Dungeon Master skills that can lead to fruitful implementations in education?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What follows are five DM practices that are compatible with teaching and learning objectives. Their application, whether with games or otherwise, can help make classes more fun, challenging, socially cohesive, personalized and, yes, epic.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>1. DESIGN FOR EXPERIENCE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>When it comes to preparing a successful class or planning a good game, design is king. A Dungeon Master’s focus on player-centred experiences can yield big learning dividends when applied to instructional design, which is why many educators who integrate RPGs in their practice plunder the DM’s bag of tricks for inspiration and ideas to power-up their lessons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Roman, who uses \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> with high school English students, draws parallels between the work of DMs and teachers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_52305\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-52305 size-large\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1020x1530.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1180x1770.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-960x1440.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-520x780.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k.jpg 1365w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sarah Roman teaching students how to play Dungeons & Dragons. \u003ccite>(New Jersey Education Association)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“You essentially progress with the same practices and ideas for getting a group of people to come together to work towards a common goal,” said Roman. “You set aside time to craft a campaign (lessons), put in roadblocks and problems (individual lessons), craft puzzles and dungeons that scale in difficulty (tests), all while making sure to understand the people with whom you’re working. In both cases, you become the leader and entryway to a world that they’ve never experienced.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michael Matera, who runs his middle-school \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">social studies classes as games\u003c/a> synthesizes lesson planning with game design.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When you think about the central points to building a good game, they share many with the core strategies for building successful instruction,” said Matera. “By creating an experience, we as the game designers for our classroom worlds venture into their worlds as students. Our efforts to design a great game are well returned by students who will work hard within the game environment.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Matera designs for experience, an approach that aligns with \u003ca href=\"http://sydney.edu.au/education_social_work/learning_teaching/ict/theory/constructivism.shtml\">constructivist learning theories\u003c/a> that maintain that students learn better by \u003cem>doing\u003c/em> rather than as passive recipients of information. Dungeon Masters only design for experience, and educators who want to do the same can tap into their extensive resource toolbox for ideas and inspiration. There are virtually endless \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeon_Master%27s_Guide\">guides\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeon_Master%27s_Design_Kit\">manuals\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.dndadventure.com/dnda_dm_resources.html\">sheets and tables\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://geekdad.com/2016/02/easy-dungeon-master-preparation/\">blogs\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://geekandsundry.com/7-helpful-apps-for-dungeon-masters/\">apps\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://themagictreerpg.blogspot.com/2008/10/gms-ten-commandments.html\">commandments\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://themagictreerpg.blogspot.com/2008/10/gms-ten-commandments.html\">websites\u003c/a> and even a \u003ca href=\"http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/dm-support-group\">support group\u003c/a> to help DMs produce exciting experiences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>University of Connecticut assistant professor \u003ca href=\"https://education.uconn.edu/person/stephen-slota/\">Stephen Slota\u003c/a> encourages teachers to not only pick and glean from DMs, but from the wider design universe at large, whether video games, gardening or architecture. “Don’t reinvent the wheel,” said Slota. “If a design strategy exists and has been used in another realm but not yours, repurpose it - with appropriate attribution, of course. No one will worry that it’s been done before as long as the design works.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>2. WRAP IT IN A STORY\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Stories shape our self-perception, help us organize knowledge and make sense of a chaotic world. From the tribal campfire to Netflix binges, stories and storytelling are intimately bound with human culture and society. A story’s narrative patterns and ability to arouse emotions make them ideal memory aids, which is why \u003ca href=\"https://www.nyu.edu/faculty/teaching-and-learning-resources/strategies-for-teaching-with-tech/storytelling-teching-and-learning.html\">stories and learning have been intertwined\u003c/a> throughout human history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A Dungeon Master conjures a living world through narratives, and teachers who follow suit can also make learning more meaningful and memorable. When using \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> or other RPGs \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51781/hacking-the-education-narrative-with-dungeons-dragons\">in their classes\u003c/a>, or investing courses with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\">thematic narratives\u003c/a>, teachers should not only seek to \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/blog/storytelling-in-the-classroom-matters-matthew-friday\">leverage the power of story\u003c/a>, but can also recruit students in the storytelling process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Famed Dungeon Master Matthew Mercer explains, the DM’s job is not just to tell a good story, but to lead a collaborative storytelling experience. “A Dungeon Master creates and directs a story for your friends to live and play in, and working with their ideas, collaborates with them in real time to write the next chapter together,” said Mercer, the star of \u003ca href=\"https://critrole.com/shows/critical-role/\">Critical Role\u003c/a>, which streams celebrity D&D campaigns. “Consider narratives that emphasize relationship and enable them to put their skills and teamwork together to surmount a challenge and really appreciate each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But where do these stories come from? What if the creative well is dry?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Steal relentlessly,” advises \u003ca href=\"https://kotaku.com/how-to-be-a-great-dungeon-master-1766262559\">Kotaku’s\u003c/a> Tim Colwill. “Steal from TV and movies. Steal from books and comics. Steal from another D&D game you watched on Twitch. I am deadly serious and it will make you a better Dungeon Master [and teacher] if you do this.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>3. OFFER CHOICE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Like classrooms, games operate with rules and constraints but, within those boundaries, they afford players interactivity and choice. In fact, \u003cem>The Guardian\u003c/em>’s Keith Stuart \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/oct/16/video-games-power-agency-control\">argues that choice\u003c/a> may be the single biggest factor producing enjoyment in video games. We like to feel like masters of our destiny, and meaningful choices produce a sense of control that increases the likelihood of becoming invested in an experience. The absence of choice, however, can lead to the opposite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When a DM is the only one who makes decisions, we call it railroading and it’s no fun for anyone but the DM. Games are about meaningful choices,” said Scott Price at the \u003cspan class=\"s1\">Connected Learning Summit in 2018 when he was the director of product at BrainPOP. He said it's important to \u003c/span>include agency when designing a compelling experience.\u003cspan class=\"s1\"> “Good role-playing game experiences are player-driven, individualized, adaptive, meaningful and contextualized,” he said and stressed that the qualities that make a successful game also make a great class.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not a revelation that students are engaged by choice, as it’s the magic ingredient in approaches like inquiry-based learning, project-based learning, passion projects, genius hours and learning pathways. However, to offer choice, educators must be willing to give up some control.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I finally started and let go of control and many of the anticipated outcomes, I quickly realized how the students can really drive the learning in a powerful and fun way,\" said Steve Isaacs, who offers his middle-school game design students branching quests that allow them to choose \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">personal learning paths\u003c/a>. \"Giving choice allowed me to step back and support students rather than ‘teach’.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When choices and options are built into the curriculum, whether in homework, assignments, classroom roles, or even assessment, students can enjoy a more personalized and meaningful learning experience.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PEt5RdNHNw&feature=youtu.be\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>4. REWARD RISK AND NORMALIZE FAILURE \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>For a while now, the edusphere has been buzzing about the importance of inviting risks and embracing failure. In reality, many schools are competitive systems that rewards success and, especially when grades and standardized tests are involved, leave little allowance for meaningful failure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many games let players safely fail and try again, and encourage progression through risk-taking and iterative cycles of trial and error. Gamers naturally apply and practice a \u003ca href=\"http://nytimesineducation.com/spotlight/facing-failure-and-breeding-success/\">growth mindset\u003c/a> because they must constantly adjust their play tactics in response to mistakes and setbacks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Using games and making classes more game-like can help educators genuinely embrace risk and failure. Michael Matera, for example, found that using\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\"> RPG elements\u003c/a> cultivates a forgiving classroom culture that embraces risk-taking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I am constantly amazed at how they thrive in my risk-rich classroom environment. As these are not graded in the traditional sense students can take a risk, tackle new challenges and grow as a learners,” said Matera.“When we are empowered as learners, as gamers, we win. Maybe not the game, but the war over wisdom. We learn from our failures, and when we are empowered, are able to pick ourselves up to learn even more.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also important to remember that game designers don’t build risk and failure into their games to edify and educate - they just know that overcoming adversity can be a lot of fun. A prize is all the more valuable for the obstacles surpassed to attain it, so a good DM aims for the Goldilocks sweet spot between too hard and too easy, where advancement is possible but challenging. This design principle coincides with Vygotsky’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.simplypsychology.org/Zone-of-Proximal-Development.html\">zone of proximal development\u003c/a>, thus synthesizing best practices for entertainment and learning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it’s not just the students who should take risks. Using a game in a class or, even more daunting, turning a class into a game also involves risk for the instructor. What if it’s boring? What if it doesn’t work? What if they hate it? It takes moxie, but educators can grow from silencing the voices of doubt and model risk taking for their students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Just know that the students often love you and are very willing to try new things,” said Roman. “Sometimes it won’t work or you’ll have days where it seems difficult due to timing and preparedness. They’ll see that you’re putting in effort into something new and they appreciate that regardless of the outcome.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>5. PROVOKE EMOTIONS\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">social and emotional benefits\u003c/a> of playing \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> were addressed in an earlier installment in this series, but games can also produce memorable emotional moments within the safety of the magic circle of play.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trent Hergenrader, a professor at the Rochester Institute of Technology, describes how RPGs produce powerful emotions in his creative writing classes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We reach a momentous point in the story that requires a dice roll. Every time, the room goes quiet as the player shakes the dice in their hands and then release them, clattering on the table. I swear, the whole room sucks in a breath as we all lean in to see the result and, success or failure, there’s an explosion of hooting, hollering, laughing, groaning. In those moments, no one in that room would want to be anywhere else in the world, it’s that good. And of course that energy then translates into their work,” said Hergenrader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cheers, laughter, anticipation and surprise can all help in the absorption of knowledge and may be essential ingredients to create an experience that students will never forget.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The Benevolent Subversions of the Chaotic Good\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The educators who have experimented with \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> in their practice are also players who have experienced the force of shaping and reshaping stories. Whether deliberately or inadvertently, they use the power learned in the realms of fantasy to hack an all too real educational narrative. In \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> parlance, their race is Human, their class is Pedagog, and their moral alignment is clearly Chaotic Good, whose description in the \u003ca href=\"http://dnd.wizards.com/products/tabletop-games/rpg-products/rpg_playershandbook\">\u003cem>Player’s Handbook\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is eerily suitable:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cem>A chaotic good character does what is necessary to bring about change for the better, disdains bureaucratic organizations that get in the way of social improvement, and places a high value on personal freedom, not only for oneself, but for others as well.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons \u003c/em>is a salient example of an imaginative and timely intervention, but sword-and-sorcery is not for everybody. The plasticity of RPG systems allows for the implementation of any theme or setting, and students can be recruited to help design the games around a specific topic. Also, teachers are not only using RPGs in their classes, but turning their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">classes into role-playing games\u003c/a> which further challenges the status quo of our education system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, whether using games, RPGs, or any other initiatives, teachers have an unprecedented opportunity to exercise and model creativity, passion, problem-solving and courage to re-author their personal and institutional narratives. Armed with these mildly subversive but benevolent grassroots interventions they can rewrite the story of student, teacher and school as a legendary epic for the ages, and perhaps save the world along the way.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>“Being a good teacher is exactly like being a good Dungeon Master, but with far more pressure,” said Kade Wells, who uses \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> with his high school students. As a preservice teacher he was struck by how much lesson planning felt like preparing for a \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> campaign and, ever since, he’s plotted his classes with a Dungeon Master’s cunning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Dungeon Master (DM) is the popular role-playing game’s chief storyteller and referee. A DM designs and administers the medieval fantasy world where a party of player-adventurers quest for loot and glory. It’s a big job: they plan and narrate the story, enforce rules, settle disputes, draft floor plans and accommodate players’ whims. Like teachers, DMs aim to guide, challenge and engage.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This series has looked at how \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> and similar role-playing games (RPGs) have been used for learning. Be it in classrooms or afterschool clubs, \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> has been used to\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\"> support literacy\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">s\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">ocial emotional development\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51790/how-dungeons-dragons-primes-students-for-interdisciplinary-learning-including-stem\">interdisciplinary studies\u003c/a> and to inspire teachers to structure their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">classes as games\u003c/a>. In all of these cases, teachers and professors channeled their inner Dungeon Master to reimagine how learning takes place in their classes and schools.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But what, specifically, are the Dungeon Master skills that can lead to fruitful implementations in education?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What follows are five DM practices that are compatible with teaching and learning objectives. Their application, whether with games or otherwise, can help make classes more fun, challenging, socially cohesive, personalized and, yes, epic.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>1. DESIGN FOR EXPERIENCE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>When it comes to preparing a successful class or planning a good game, design is king. A Dungeon Master’s focus on player-centred experiences can yield big learning dividends when applied to instructional design, which is why many educators who integrate RPGs in their practice plunder the DM’s bag of tricks for inspiration and ideas to power-up their lessons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sarah Roman, who uses \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> with high school English students, draws parallels between the work of DMs and teachers.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_52305\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-52305 size-large\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1020x1530.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"960\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1020x1530.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-800x1200.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-768x1152.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-1180x1770.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-960x1440.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-240x360.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-375x563.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k-520x780.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2018/10/39198010181_c92257f585_k.jpg 1365w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Sarah Roman teaching students how to play Dungeons & Dragons. \u003ccite>(New Jersey Education Association)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>“You essentially progress with the same practices and ideas for getting a group of people to come together to work towards a common goal,” said Roman. “You set aside time to craft a campaign (lessons), put in roadblocks and problems (individual lessons), craft puzzles and dungeons that scale in difficulty (tests), all while making sure to understand the people with whom you’re working. In both cases, you become the leader and entryway to a world that they’ve never experienced.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Michael Matera, who runs his middle-school \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">social studies classes as games\u003c/a> synthesizes lesson planning with game design.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When you think about the central points to building a good game, they share many with the core strategies for building successful instruction,” said Matera. “By creating an experience, we as the game designers for our classroom worlds venture into their worlds as students. Our efforts to design a great game are well returned by students who will work hard within the game environment.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Matera designs for experience, an approach that aligns with \u003ca href=\"http://sydney.edu.au/education_social_work/learning_teaching/ict/theory/constructivism.shtml\">constructivist learning theories\u003c/a> that maintain that students learn better by \u003cem>doing\u003c/em> rather than as passive recipients of information. Dungeon Masters only design for experience, and educators who want to do the same can tap into their extensive resource toolbox for ideas and inspiration. There are virtually endless \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeon_Master%27s_Guide\">guides\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeon_Master%27s_Design_Kit\">manuals\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://www.dndadventure.com/dnda_dm_resources.html\">sheets and tables\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://geekdad.com/2016/02/easy-dungeon-master-preparation/\">blogs\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://geekandsundry.com/7-helpful-apps-for-dungeon-masters/\">apps\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://themagictreerpg.blogspot.com/2008/10/gms-ten-commandments.html\">commandments\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"http://themagictreerpg.blogspot.com/2008/10/gms-ten-commandments.html\">websites\u003c/a> and even a \u003ca href=\"http://dnd.wizards.com/articles/features/dm-support-group\">support group\u003c/a> to help DMs produce exciting experiences.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>University of Connecticut assistant professor \u003ca href=\"https://education.uconn.edu/person/stephen-slota/\">Stephen Slota\u003c/a> encourages teachers to not only pick and glean from DMs, but from the wider design universe at large, whether video games, gardening or architecture. “Don’t reinvent the wheel,” said Slota. “If a design strategy exists and has been used in another realm but not yours, repurpose it - with appropriate attribution, of course. No one will worry that it’s been done before as long as the design works.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>2. WRAP IT IN A STORY\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Stories shape our self-perception, help us organize knowledge and make sense of a chaotic world. From the tribal campfire to Netflix binges, stories and storytelling are intimately bound with human culture and society. A story’s narrative patterns and ability to arouse emotions make them ideal memory aids, which is why \u003ca href=\"https://www.nyu.edu/faculty/teaching-and-learning-resources/strategies-for-teaching-with-tech/storytelling-teching-and-learning.html\">stories and learning have been intertwined\u003c/a> throughout human history.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A Dungeon Master conjures a living world through narratives, and teachers who follow suit can also make learning more meaningful and memorable. When using \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> or other RPGs \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51781/hacking-the-education-narrative-with-dungeons-dragons\">in their classes\u003c/a>, or investing courses with \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51787/leveraging-the-lore-of-dungeons-and-dragons-to-motivate-students-to-read-and-write\">thematic narratives\u003c/a>, teachers should not only seek to \u003ca href=\"https://www.edutopia.org/blog/storytelling-in-the-classroom-matters-matthew-friday\">leverage the power of story\u003c/a>, but can also recruit students in the storytelling process.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Famed Dungeon Master Matthew Mercer explains, the DM’s job is not just to tell a good story, but to lead a collaborative storytelling experience. “A Dungeon Master creates and directs a story for your friends to live and play in, and working with their ideas, collaborates with them in real time to write the next chapter together,” said Mercer, the star of \u003ca href=\"https://critrole.com/shows/critical-role/\">Critical Role\u003c/a>, which streams celebrity D&D campaigns. “Consider narratives that emphasize relationship and enable them to put their skills and teamwork together to surmount a challenge and really appreciate each other.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But where do these stories come from? What if the creative well is dry?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Steal relentlessly,” advises \u003ca href=\"https://kotaku.com/how-to-be-a-great-dungeon-master-1766262559\">Kotaku’s\u003c/a> Tim Colwill. “Steal from TV and movies. Steal from books and comics. Steal from another D&D game you watched on Twitch. I am deadly serious and it will make you a better Dungeon Master [and teacher] if you do this.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>3. OFFER CHOICE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>Like classrooms, games operate with rules and constraints but, within those boundaries, they afford players interactivity and choice. In fact, \u003cem>The Guardian\u003c/em>’s Keith Stuart \u003ca href=\"https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/oct/16/video-games-power-agency-control\">argues that choice\u003c/a> may be the single biggest factor producing enjoyment in video games. We like to feel like masters of our destiny, and meaningful choices produce a sense of control that increases the likelihood of becoming invested in an experience. The absence of choice, however, can lead to the opposite.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When a DM is the only one who makes decisions, we call it railroading and it’s no fun for anyone but the DM. Games are about meaningful choices,” said Scott Price at the \u003cspan class=\"s1\">Connected Learning Summit in 2018 when he was the director of product at BrainPOP. He said it's important to \u003c/span>include agency when designing a compelling experience.\u003cspan class=\"s1\"> “Good role-playing game experiences are player-driven, individualized, adaptive, meaningful and contextualized,” he said and stressed that the qualities that make a successful game also make a great class.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s not a revelation that students are engaged by choice, as it’s the magic ingredient in approaches like inquiry-based learning, project-based learning, passion projects, genius hours and learning pathways. However, to offer choice, educators must be willing to give up some control.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“When I finally started and let go of control and many of the anticipated outcomes, I quickly realized how the students can really drive the learning in a powerful and fun way,\" said Steve Isaacs, who offers his middle-school game design students branching quests that allow them to choose \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">personal learning paths\u003c/a>. \"Giving choice allowed me to step back and support students rather than ‘teach’.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When choices and options are built into the curriculum, whether in homework, assignments, classroom roles, or even assessment, students can enjoy a more personalized and meaningful learning experience.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/2PEt5RdNHNw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/2PEt5RdNHNw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>4. REWARD RISK AND NORMALIZE FAILURE \u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>For a while now, the edusphere has been buzzing about the importance of inviting risks and embracing failure. In reality, many schools are competitive systems that rewards success and, especially when grades and standardized tests are involved, leave little allowance for meaningful failure.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many games let players safely fail and try again, and encourage progression through risk-taking and iterative cycles of trial and error. Gamers naturally apply and practice a \u003ca href=\"http://nytimesineducation.com/spotlight/facing-failure-and-breeding-success/\">growth mindset\u003c/a> because they must constantly adjust their play tactics in response to mistakes and setbacks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Using games and making classes more game-like can help educators genuinely embrace risk and failure. Michael Matera, for example, found that using\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\"> RPG elements\u003c/a> cultivates a forgiving classroom culture that embraces risk-taking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“I am constantly amazed at how they thrive in my risk-rich classroom environment. As these are not graded in the traditional sense students can take a risk, tackle new challenges and grow as a learners,” said Matera.“When we are empowered as learners, as gamers, we win. Maybe not the game, but the war over wisdom. We learn from our failures, and when we are empowered, are able to pick ourselves up to learn even more.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s also important to remember that game designers don’t build risk and failure into their games to edify and educate - they just know that overcoming adversity can be a lot of fun. A prize is all the more valuable for the obstacles surpassed to attain it, so a good DM aims for the Goldilocks sweet spot between too hard and too easy, where advancement is possible but challenging. This design principle coincides with Vygotsky’s \u003ca href=\"https://www.simplypsychology.org/Zone-of-Proximal-Development.html\">zone of proximal development\u003c/a>, thus synthesizing best practices for entertainment and learning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it’s not just the students who should take risks. Using a game in a class or, even more daunting, turning a class into a game also involves risk for the instructor. What if it’s boring? What if it doesn’t work? What if they hate it? It takes moxie, but educators can grow from silencing the voices of doubt and model risk taking for their students.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“Just know that the students often love you and are very willing to try new things,” said Roman. “Sometimes it won’t work or you’ll have days where it seems difficult due to timing and preparedness. They’ll see that you’re putting in effort into something new and they appreciate that regardless of the outcome.”\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>5. PROVOKE EMOTIONS\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/51784/how-dungeons-dragons-can-help-kids-develop-social-emotional-learning-skills\">social and emotional benefits\u003c/a> of playing \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> were addressed in an earlier installment in this series, but games can also produce memorable emotional moments within the safety of the magic circle of play.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trent Hergenrader, a professor at the Rochester Institute of Technology, describes how RPGs produce powerful emotions in his creative writing classes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>“We reach a momentous point in the story that requires a dice roll. Every time, the room goes quiet as the player shakes the dice in their hands and then release them, clattering on the table. I swear, the whole room sucks in a breath as we all lean in to see the result and, success or failure, there’s an explosion of hooting, hollering, laughing, groaning. In those moments, no one in that room would want to be anywhere else in the world, it’s that good. And of course that energy then translates into their work,” said Hergenrader.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cheers, laughter, anticipation and surprise can all help in the absorption of knowledge and may be essential ingredients to create an experience that students will never forget.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cstrong>The Benevolent Subversions of the Chaotic Good\u003c/strong>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>The educators who have experimented with \u003cem>D&D\u003c/em> in their practice are also players who have experienced the force of shaping and reshaping stories. Whether deliberately or inadvertently, they use the power learned in the realms of fantasy to hack an all too real educational narrative. In \u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons\u003c/em> parlance, their race is Human, their class is Pedagog, and their moral alignment is clearly Chaotic Good, whose description in the \u003ca href=\"http://dnd.wizards.com/products/tabletop-games/rpg-products/rpg_playershandbook\">\u003cem>Player’s Handbook\u003c/em>\u003c/a> is eerily suitable:\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cem>A chaotic good character does what is necessary to bring about change for the better, disdains bureaucratic organizations that get in the way of social improvement, and places a high value on personal freedom, not only for oneself, but for others as well.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Dungeons & Dragons \u003c/em>is a salient example of an imaginative and timely intervention, but sword-and-sorcery is not for everybody. The plasticity of RPG systems allows for the implementation of any theme or setting, and students can be recruited to help design the games around a specific topic. Also, teachers are not only using RPGs in their classes, but turning their \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53071/how-schools-spark-excitement-for-learning-with-role-playing-games\">classes into role-playing games\u003c/a> which further challenges the status quo of our education system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, whether using games, RPGs, or any other initiatives, teachers have an unprecedented opportunity to exercise and model creativity, passion, problem-solving and courage to re-author their personal and institutional narratives. Armed with these mildly subversive but benevolent grassroots interventions they can rewrite the story of student, teacher and school as a legendary epic for the ages, and perhaps save the world along the way.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Years ago, when Michael Reichert’s oldest son was born, he and his wife made a commitment to shield him from the “toxic pressures and cultural norms that we believed would try to steal our son’s humanity from him.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But it turns out that parents can’t build a wall around their children, says Reichert, a clinical psychologist and author of \"\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/How-Raise-Boy-Power-Connection/dp/0143133209\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\" What parents and teachers \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> do is strengthen boys’ resilience to be themselves.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert is hopeful that a new space is opening up in how we think about boys and boyhood. For generations, he says, “we have rationalized a wide range of losses and casualties” by repeating intractable myths: “Oh, that’s just the nature of boys, or boys just don’t do as well in classrooms, or boys don’t do well with emotional intimacy.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These persistent stereotypes have influenced how we interacted with boys from infancy, says Reichert, and infiltrated our classrooms and playing fields. For example, he points to a long-term \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://nyupress.org/9780814764800/when-boys-become-boys/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of boys between ages 4 and 6. Researchers found that boys dramatically changed how they related to others during these years as they “absorbed norms for how they were supposed to act as boys.” They traveled from “presence to pretense,” says Reichert\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">from being emotionally honest in relationships with peers to using posturing and bravado as they adhered to group norms about how boys “should” behave. In molding their behavior to this standard, “it cost them their authenticity, exuberance, and confidence.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Boys Are Relational Learners\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are troubling statistics about boys in K-12 schools. They are more likely to drop out of school than their female peers, and according to data from the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://ocrdata.ed.gov/Downloads/CRDC-School-Discipline-Snapshot.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Department of Education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, boys account for approximately 70% of all suspensions and expulsions, a rate that is disproportionately higher for boys of color. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To support boys in our classrooms, Reichert points to one robust, consistent finding from his 30 years of research: boys are relational learners. They learn best in the context of strong, supportive relationships. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In one study, Reichert and his team gathered data from 2,500 teachers and students in six different countries. He asked the boys and their teachers one simple question: “What’s worked?” For teachers, what has worked to help you reach boys? For boys, what have teachers done that has worked to support your learning and engagement? When the researchers coded the data, a couple of themes emerged. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, effective teachers used strategies to capture boys’ attention and then carried that energy into the lesson. The strongest teachers entered into a relationship with the class, using feedback from students to refine the lesson until it worked.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But another dominant theme came from the boys themselves. “In the survey, we said, ‘Please don’t mention names or provide identifying information,' ” says Reichert, but the boys ignored those instructions and described teachers’ personalities in detail. They cared about the relationships they had with teachers. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We, the adults who design the structures and pedagogy they experience \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">we were missing something. The boys, however, were very, very clear about it: They are relational learners. This is first base.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Healing Relationship Breakdowns\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If relationships are central to engaging boys in academics, then teachers need tools for healing inevitable “relational breakdowns.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every teacher in every classroom has some students who they have a hard time working with,” says Reichert. And in any relationship, there is a natural cycle of connection, disconnection, and then reconnection. But this process does not always go smoothly. After teachers have tried multiple strategies for reaching a student, they can enter “defensive, self-protective mode,” says Reichert, thinking, “I’ve done everything I can, so the next step is his” or “That boy’s learning issues or behavior or family issues are just too much.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[mindshift-podcast]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert’s research found that, for boys, these relational breakdowns with teachers were highly consequential, causing them to construct self-concepts around failure and to turn off from certain subjects or school altogether.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Here’s the rub,” says Reichert. “In our research, we have heard about every kind of problem, and we have also heard from boys who were being reached and transformed” despite those problems. “Every boy, theoretically, can be reached by a teacher or a coach,” he says, and adults need to hold out hope that “if they find the right relational approach, they will be able to reach the boy they are having a hard time with.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert contends that the job of being a relationship manager “follows the professional,” and that as professionals, teachers need to take the lead in “instigating repair for relationships that have been damaged.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Why? In his research, he found that even high-achieving boys struggle with approaching teachers when a relationship has soured. “I put together a focus group of boys at one school– top students. When I asked, ‘Do you have breakdowns in relationships with teachers?’ they were immediately able to tell stories. What did you do to fix it? Nothing, they said.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When he probed them to explain why, the boys described a power asymmetry with adults. They did not perceive that it was within their role to initiate restorative conversations. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, this also speaks to the need to coach boys with concrete strategies they can use when they are in a conflict with a teacher, says Reichert, and parents can help with this. “We need parents to sign up to the idea that the relationship between the teacher and the student is primary. Our job is not to swoop in and solve the problem but to empower the boy to go back to the teacher and work it out.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Creating a System of Support\u003c/h2>\n\u003cdiv>If schools want to reach boys, strengthen their emotional resilience, and help them stay engaged in school, school leaders need to focus on “relational learning” from the top down. Take a look at mission statements, professional development, schedules, and class sizes. Do these basic structures support transformative relationships between teachers and students?\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\n\u003cdiv>\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>Teachers and coaches also benefit from peer networks that can help them “reset their own thinking about a relationship that has gone south.” Reichert suggests structuring small groups where teachers can safely present a case about a boy they have been struggling with -- describing what’s happening, what’s been done, and how they feel. “It breaks teachers’ hearts when they can’t make it work with a student,” says Reichert. These peer networks normalize the struggle and provide an opportunity to receive emotional support and practical, strategic feedback.\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Parenting Emotionally Resilient Boys\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The most basic way to support boys’ emotional and character development is also the simplest: listen to them. “Listening is the most important tool parents have for building boys’ resilience,” says Reichert. “I haven’t found a boy who doesn’t have a story he wants to tell. Boys are simply not getting the opportunity to be listened to deeply.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Both boys and girls have rich emotional lives, but the expression of these feelings may differ because of cultural expectations. “We tell girls not to show anger, to be nice,” says Reichert. “And we tell boys not to show vulnerability or fear, to suck it up or man up.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents open up space for boys to talk, they can nurture a healthier range of emotional expression. “Establish with your son that you are interested in him,” says Reichert. “Yesterday, for what duration did you listen to your son? Not correcting him, listening. Often we are simply not very good at it because no one listened to us much.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert advocates scheduling a block of time each week\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">even 30 minutes\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">where the only task is to “accompany your son on anything he wants to do with you.” That might be playing video games or listening to music. Consistency is the key, because “a boy can come to count on there being a space where he can have a parent's full attention.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When boys are cut off from their ability to process intense emotions, they are going to act it out in some way\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">whether that’s teasing siblings or resisting homework. This is almost always a cry for an intervention, says Reichert. He recommends calmly employing the listen-limit-listen strategy. First, listen to your child’s complaints or frustrations\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the emotions that are on the surface. Then, limit the harmful behavior (“I’m not going to let you treat your sister this way. I’m not going to let you lie to me about your homework. You are better than that.”). When parents set limits, “more emotions will flare into the open,” says Reichert, and right beneath the surface will be another layer\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">such as a teacher who is giving him a hard time or a peer conflict\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that “you would never have found out if you didn’t give him space to peel back the layers and help him be himself.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ultimately, what boys really need to thrive is a strong connection to at least one stable, loving adult, says Reichert. “Here’s what we are trying to accomplish: every boy known and loved, every boy having the sense that someone has ‘got him’\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that someone who knows who he his and what he’s facing and really cares.” They need a relational anchor, and parents, teachers and coaches can all be “that someone” in the life of a boy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Psychologist and author Michael Reichert has found that boys learn better when they have a genuine relationship with their teacher. This should be obvious, but developing relationship skills can be difficult to support when boys receive unhealthy cultural messages about how they should behave. ",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Years ago, when Michael Reichert’s oldest son was born, he and his wife made a commitment to shield him from the “toxic pressures and cultural norms that we believed would try to steal our son’s humanity from him.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But it turns out that parents can’t build a wall around their children, says Reichert, a clinical psychologist and author of \"\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.amazon.com/How-Raise-Boy-Power-Connection/dp/0143133209\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\" What parents and teachers \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> do is strengthen boys’ resilience to be themselves.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert is hopeful that a new space is opening up in how we think about boys and boyhood. For generations, he says, “we have rationalized a wide range of losses and casualties” by repeating intractable myths: “Oh, that’s just the nature of boys, or boys just don’t do as well in classrooms, or boys don’t do well with emotional intimacy.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These persistent stereotypes have influenced how we interacted with boys from infancy, says Reichert, and infiltrated our classrooms and playing fields. For example, he points to a long-term \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://nyupress.org/9780814764800/when-boys-become-boys/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of boys between ages 4 and 6. Researchers found that boys dramatically changed how they related to others during these years as they “absorbed norms for how they were supposed to act as boys.” They traveled from “presence to pretense,” says Reichert\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">from being emotionally honest in relationships with peers to using posturing and bravado as they adhered to group norms about how boys “should” behave. In molding their behavior to this standard, “it cost them their authenticity, exuberance, and confidence.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Boys Are Relational Learners\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are troubling statistics about boys in K-12 schools. They are more likely to drop out of school than their female peers, and according to data from the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://ocrdata.ed.gov/Downloads/CRDC-School-Discipline-Snapshot.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Department of Education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, boys account for approximately 70% of all suspensions and expulsions, a rate that is disproportionately higher for boys of color. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To support boys in our classrooms, Reichert points to one robust, consistent finding from his 30 years of research: boys are relational learners. They learn best in the context of strong, supportive relationships. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In one study, Reichert and his team gathered data from 2,500 teachers and students in six different countries. He asked the boys and their teachers one simple question: “What’s worked?” For teachers, what has worked to help you reach boys? For boys, what have teachers done that has worked to support your learning and engagement? When the researchers coded the data, a couple of themes emerged. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, effective teachers used strategies to capture boys’ attention and then carried that energy into the lesson. The strongest teachers entered into a relationship with the class, using feedback from students to refine the lesson until it worked.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But another dominant theme came from the boys themselves. “In the survey, we said, ‘Please don’t mention names or provide identifying information,' ” says Reichert, but the boys ignored those instructions and described teachers’ personalities in detail. They cared about the relationships they had with teachers. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“We, the adults who design the structures and pedagogy they experience \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">we were missing something. The boys, however, were very, very clear about it: They are relational learners. This is first base.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Healing Relationship Breakdowns\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If relationships are central to engaging boys in academics, then teachers need tools for healing inevitable “relational breakdowns.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Every teacher in every classroom has some students who they have a hard time working with,” says Reichert. And in any relationship, there is a natural cycle of connection, disconnection, and then reconnection. But this process does not always go smoothly. After teachers have tried multiple strategies for reaching a student, they can enter “defensive, self-protective mode,” says Reichert, thinking, “I’ve done everything I can, so the next step is his” or “That boy’s learning issues or behavior or family issues are just too much.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003caside class=\"alignleft utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__mindshiftPodcastShortcode__mindshift\">\u003cimg src=https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/mindshiftLogo.png alt=\"Bay Curious Podcast\" loading=\"lazy\" />\n \u003ca href=\"/mindshift/category/mindshiftpodcast\">MindShift\u003c/a> has a podcast! Listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, NPR One or your favorite podcast app.\n Subscribe on \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stories-teachers-share-mindshift/id1078765985\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/I4hhfs3azg3avjzbuowzeal5sze\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Google Podcasts\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/?sharedMediaId=669511148:669511150\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">NPR One\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Stitcher\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Spotify\u003c/a> or your favorite podcast platform.\u003c/aside>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert’s research found that, for boys, these relational breakdowns with teachers were highly consequential, causing them to construct self-concepts around failure and to turn off from certain subjects or school altogether.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Here’s the rub,” says Reichert. “In our research, we have heard about every kind of problem, and we have also heard from boys who were being reached and transformed” despite those problems. “Every boy, theoretically, can be reached by a teacher or a coach,” he says, and adults need to hold out hope that “if they find the right relational approach, they will be able to reach the boy they are having a hard time with.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert contends that the job of being a relationship manager “follows the professional,” and that as professionals, teachers need to take the lead in “instigating repair for relationships that have been damaged.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Why? In his research, he found that even high-achieving boys struggle with approaching teachers when a relationship has soured. “I put together a focus group of boys at one school– top students. When I asked, ‘Do you have breakdowns in relationships with teachers?’ they were immediately able to tell stories. What did you do to fix it? Nothing, they said.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When he probed them to explain why, the boys described a power asymmetry with adults. They did not perceive that it was within their role to initiate restorative conversations. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, this also speaks to the need to coach boys with concrete strategies they can use when they are in a conflict with a teacher, says Reichert, and parents can help with this. “We need parents to sign up to the idea that the relationship between the teacher and the student is primary. Our job is not to swoop in and solve the problem but to empower the boy to go back to the teacher and work it out.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>Creating a System of Support\u003c/h2>\n\u003cdiv>If schools want to reach boys, strengthen their emotional resilience, and help them stay engaged in school, school leaders need to focus on “relational learning” from the top down. Take a look at mission statements, professional development, schedules, and class sizes. Do these basic structures support transformative relationships between teachers and students?\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\n\u003cdiv>\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>Teachers and coaches also benefit from peer networks that can help them “reset their own thinking about a relationship that has gone south.” Reichert suggests structuring small groups where teachers can safely present a case about a boy they have been struggling with -- describing what’s happening, what’s been done, and how they feel. “It breaks teachers’ hearts when they can’t make it work with a student,” says Reichert. These peer networks normalize the struggle and provide an opportunity to receive emotional support and practical, strategic feedback.\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv>\n\u003ch2>\u003cb>Parenting Emotionally Resilient Boys\u003c/b>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The most basic way to support boys’ emotional and character development is also the simplest: listen to them. “Listening is the most important tool parents have for building boys’ resilience,” says Reichert. “I haven’t found a boy who doesn’t have a story he wants to tell. Boys are simply not getting the opportunity to be listened to deeply.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Both boys and girls have rich emotional lives, but the expression of these feelings may differ because of cultural expectations. “We tell girls not to show anger, to be nice,” says Reichert. “And we tell boys not to show vulnerability or fear, to suck it up or man up.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents open up space for boys to talk, they can nurture a healthier range of emotional expression. “Establish with your son that you are interested in him,” says Reichert. “Yesterday, for what duration did you listen to your son? Not correcting him, listening. Often we are simply not very good at it because no one listened to us much.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reichert advocates scheduling a block of time each week\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">even 30 minutes\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">where the only task is to “accompany your son on anything he wants to do with you.” That might be playing video games or listening to music. Consistency is the key, because “a boy can come to count on there being a space where he can have a parent's full attention.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When boys are cut off from their ability to process intense emotions, they are going to act it out in some way\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">whether that’s teasing siblings or resisting homework. This is almost always a cry for an intervention, says Reichert. He recommends calmly employing the listen-limit-listen strategy. First, listen to your child’s complaints or frustrations\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the emotions that are on the surface. Then, limit the harmful behavior (“I’m not going to let you treat your sister this way. I’m not going to let you lie to me about your homework. You are better than that.”). When parents set limits, “more emotions will flare into the open,” says Reichert, and right beneath the surface will be another layer\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">such as a teacher who is giving him a hard time or a peer conflict\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that “you would never have found out if you didn’t give him space to peel back the layers and help him be himself.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Ultimately, what boys really need to thrive is a strong connection to at least one stable, loving adult, says Reichert. “Here’s what we are trying to accomplish: every boy known and loved, every boy having the sense that someone has ‘got him’\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that someone who knows who he his and what he’s facing and really cares.” They need a relational anchor, and parents, teachers and coaches can all be “that someone” in the life of a boy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "When Teens Share Tech Skills With Seniors, Both Can Feel More Connected",
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"content": "\u003cp>The United States now has 46 million people age 65 or older. That's a record number, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2017/05/17/technology-use-among-seniors/\">study by the Pew Research Center.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More of these senior citizens are adopting technology, but most also say they need help using new electronic devices such as smart phones. Falling behind on technology puts seniors at risk for social isolation, which makes them vulnerable to poor health and earlier death. It's also expensive. A \u003ca href=\"https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2019/medical-cure-for-loneliness.html\">study by AARP\u003c/a> found isolation is associated with nearly $7 billion in additional annual spending by Medicare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A startup company in Albuquerque has made matching tech-savvy young people with seniors its mission. \u003ca href=\"https://www.teeniors.com/\">Teeniors\u003c/a> coaches them on using smartphones, computers and tablets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Founder Trish Lopez pitched the idea at a startup weekend for women entrepreneurs in 2015 after realizing that her mother needed help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"She'd lose a password, she'd lose a document and then she didn't know some simple commands like Control Z that could undo everything she had just done,\" Lopez said. \"And so she would start all over again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a new mom herself and busy with work, Lopez said she wanted to be able send someone to help her mother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But also, I wished I had the patience to help her in the way I wanted to,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Patience and listening are some of the fundamental skills young people learn as Teeniors, and the program has served more than 3,000 seniors in New Mexico. It added a nonprofit arm in 2018 and has landed grants from Comcast and Facebook to serve those who can't afford to pay. The mission, Lopez said, is to empower senior citizens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think that's why we've been so successful,\" she said. \"The intergenerational learning experience is really remarkable and that's why I always say the main service we provide is not tech support. It is human connection.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lopez has seen many Teeniors flourish through those connections. She has also seen many seniors break down when a Teenior helps them understand technology that seemed beyond their comprehension.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was certainly true for Camilla Dorcey, 76. She was talking to a friend recently in her home in northeast Albuquerque about a new car she was getting that day. But not long ago, that routine task was beyond her, said Dorcey who at one time struggled using her smartphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"People would be ringing me and I didn't know how to answer it,\" Dorcey said. \"I'd be crying and frustrated and feeling totally useless and old.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pew study found that 4 in 10 seniors own smartphones, but they often lack confidence in learning and using these devices. Dorcey is a retired teacher from Lesotho, Africa, who lived all over the world before moving to Albuquerque with her second husband. When he died suddenly, she was left alone and isolated, too ashamed to admit she didn't know how to answer her new phone. She tried to get help at stores, but clerks were mystified why she was confused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They said 'Oh a child' — I hate that phrase — 'a child could do this,\" Dorcey said. \"But they never gave me a child.'\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dorcey found a Teenior instead, who helped her download WhatsApp. Now she talks to family and friends regularly in Africa and Europe for free. On the last day of 2019, she greeted friends in England enthusiastically over the app, wishing them a happy new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Oh it's amazing,\" Dorcey said. \"I can see them. I can talk to them. It's really been great. I feel free again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess Reynolds, 17, is the Teenior who helped Dorcey. Reynolds said she can relate to seniors who may need more time to learn because she has a learning disability and people used to push her to finish her schoolwork more quickly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So I know how it feels to be rushed,\" Reynolds said. \"I want to make sure that doesn't happen.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The experience of working for Teeniors has also convinced Reynolds that she wants to become a senior home health aide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And this is such a great help to really become what you want to be,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a Teeniors event in December at a senior center about 40 minutes south of Albuquerque, 21-year-old Kendra Gonzales was helping Linda Haverty add a photo of a friend to her contacts list.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I went from a flip top to this. It was like going from a tank to a Ferrari,\" said Haverty, who is 81. \"And the next time it was Facebook. I'm still struggling with social media. And Kendra's wonderful.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Haverty's family is scattered around the Midwest and she said keeping up on technology is vital to staying connected to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yesterday I was going through Facebook and found out I have a great-grandson that was born on my birthday...and I didn't know about it,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gonzales has been with Teeniors for four years. It helped her land jobs and decide on a career in public service. She's working toward a criminal justice degree, and through Teeniors she learned skills such as public speaking and coaching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[I learned] things that I don't think the school system helped me with,\" Gonzales said. \"This has helped me more, in a great way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trish Lopez never anticipated how Teeniors would affect the young people she employs. It's not just teaching them tech skills, but also soft skills employers need such as emotional intelligence, problem-solving and communication. Their feedback has surprised her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Some of them believe it's helped them overcome their depression and anxiety and struggles in their personal relationships,\" she said. \"Just the work of being a Teenior, for the small amount of hours they do it every month, has made an enormous impact on their lives.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yannick Hutchinson, 24, just graduated with an architecture degree and said being part of Teeniors will help him learn to communicate better with clients. It also helped when he was struggling with depression.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was definitely something that pulled me back from that dark, dark area,\" he said. \"It was nice, it was a breath of fresh air.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lopez had considered dropping him from the coaching pool after he was late several times and that's when Hutchinson opened up about his struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We definitely worked it out and I definitely feel I'm more of an asset to this organization now,\" he said. \"I need to understand I'm being counted on by people and I need to be responsible for that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://aese.psu.edu/extension/intergenerational/program-areas/technology/using-technology-to-connect-generations-profiles#page=3\">Variations of the Teeniors model\u003c/a> exist around the country, according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.gu.org/\">Generations United\u003c/a>, based in Washington, D.C. Executive Director Donna Butts said intergenerational programs offer alternatives to our tendency to segregate people by age.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We really are much stronger when we're together and value the wisdom of older adults and the energy and new experience of young people,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Butts adds that since America's older generation is disproportionately white compared to the younger population, there are real risks to such segregation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And that can be really, really harmful when we have generations that don't look like each other, they don't know each other and they don't understand why they need to invest in each other,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said intergenerational programs can overcome those barriers. That was certainly true for Camilla Dorcey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think Teeniors are maybe seeing old people as not totally ready to be put in the grave,\" she said. \"For me, it's making me think teenagers should not all be in jail. We're beginning to see a connection between humans of a different age.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 KUNM. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.kunm.org\">KUNM\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Youth+Teaching+Tech+To+Seniors+Fosters+Generational+Connections&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The United States now has 46 million people age 65 or older. That's a record number, according to a \u003ca href=\"https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2017/05/17/technology-use-among-seniors/\">study by the Pew Research Center.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>More of these senior citizens are adopting technology, but most also say they need help using new electronic devices such as smart phones. Falling behind on technology puts seniors at risk for social isolation, which makes them vulnerable to poor health and earlier death. It's also expensive. A \u003ca href=\"https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2019/medical-cure-for-loneliness.html\">study by AARP\u003c/a> found isolation is associated with nearly $7 billion in additional annual spending by Medicare.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A startup company in Albuquerque has made matching tech-savvy young people with seniors its mission. \u003ca href=\"https://www.teeniors.com/\">Teeniors\u003c/a> coaches them on using smartphones, computers and tablets.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Founder Trish Lopez pitched the idea at a startup weekend for women entrepreneurs in 2015 after realizing that her mother needed help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"She'd lose a password, she'd lose a document and then she didn't know some simple commands like Control Z that could undo everything she had just done,\" Lopez said. \"And so she would start all over again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a new mom herself and busy with work, Lopez said she wanted to be able send someone to help her mother.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But also, I wished I had the patience to help her in the way I wanted to,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Patience and listening are some of the fundamental skills young people learn as Teeniors, and the program has served more than 3,000 seniors in New Mexico. It added a nonprofit arm in 2018 and has landed grants from Comcast and Facebook to serve those who can't afford to pay. The mission, Lopez said, is to empower senior citizens.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think that's why we've been so successful,\" she said. \"The intergenerational learning experience is really remarkable and that's why I always say the main service we provide is not tech support. It is human connection.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lopez has seen many Teeniors flourish through those connections. She has also seen many seniors break down when a Teenior helps them understand technology that seemed beyond their comprehension.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was certainly true for Camilla Dorcey, 76. She was talking to a friend recently in her home in northeast Albuquerque about a new car she was getting that day. But not long ago, that routine task was beyond her, said Dorcey who at one time struggled using her smartphone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"People would be ringing me and I didn't know how to answer it,\" Dorcey said. \"I'd be crying and frustrated and feeling totally useless and old.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The Pew study found that 4 in 10 seniors own smartphones, but they often lack confidence in learning and using these devices. Dorcey is a retired teacher from Lesotho, Africa, who lived all over the world before moving to Albuquerque with her second husband. When he died suddenly, she was left alone and isolated, too ashamed to admit she didn't know how to answer her new phone. She tried to get help at stores, but clerks were mystified why she was confused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"They said 'Oh a child' — I hate that phrase — 'a child could do this,\" Dorcey said. \"But they never gave me a child.'\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dorcey found a Teenior instead, who helped her download WhatsApp. Now she talks to family and friends regularly in Africa and Europe for free. On the last day of 2019, she greeted friends in England enthusiastically over the app, wishing them a happy new year.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Oh it's amazing,\" Dorcey said. \"I can see them. I can talk to them. It's really been great. I feel free again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tess Reynolds, 17, is the Teenior who helped Dorcey. Reynolds said she can relate to seniors who may need more time to learn because she has a learning disability and people used to push her to finish her schoolwork more quickly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"So I know how it feels to be rushed,\" Reynolds said. \"I want to make sure that doesn't happen.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The experience of working for Teeniors has also convinced Reynolds that she wants to become a senior home health aide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And this is such a great help to really become what you want to be,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a Teeniors event in December at a senior center about 40 minutes south of Albuquerque, 21-year-old Kendra Gonzales was helping Linda Haverty add a photo of a friend to her contacts list.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I went from a flip top to this. It was like going from a tank to a Ferrari,\" said Haverty, who is 81. \"And the next time it was Facebook. I'm still struggling with social media. And Kendra's wonderful.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Haverty's family is scattered around the Midwest and she said keeping up on technology is vital to staying connected to them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Yesterday I was going through Facebook and found out I have a great-grandson that was born on my birthday...and I didn't know about it,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gonzales has been with Teeniors for four years. It helped her land jobs and decide on a career in public service. She's working toward a criminal justice degree, and through Teeniors she learned skills such as public speaking and coaching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"[I learned] things that I don't think the school system helped me with,\" Gonzales said. \"This has helped me more, in a great way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Trish Lopez never anticipated how Teeniors would affect the young people she employs. It's not just teaching them tech skills, but also soft skills employers need such as emotional intelligence, problem-solving and communication. Their feedback has surprised her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Some of them believe it's helped them overcome their depression and anxiety and struggles in their personal relationships,\" she said. \"Just the work of being a Teenior, for the small amount of hours they do it every month, has made an enormous impact on their lives.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yannick Hutchinson, 24, just graduated with an architecture degree and said being part of Teeniors will help him learn to communicate better with clients. It also helped when he was struggling with depression.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It was definitely something that pulled me back from that dark, dark area,\" he said. \"It was nice, it was a breath of fresh air.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lopez had considered dropping him from the coaching pool after he was late several times and that's when Hutchinson opened up about his struggles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We definitely worked it out and I definitely feel I'm more of an asset to this organization now,\" he said. \"I need to understand I'm being counted on by people and I need to be responsible for that.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://aese.psu.edu/extension/intergenerational/program-areas/technology/using-technology-to-connect-generations-profiles#page=3\">Variations of the Teeniors model\u003c/a> exist around the country, according to \u003ca href=\"https://www.gu.org/\">Generations United\u003c/a>, based in Washington, D.C. Executive Director Donna Butts said intergenerational programs offer alternatives to our tendency to segregate people by age.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"We really are much stronger when we're together and value the wisdom of older adults and the energy and new experience of young people,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Butts adds that since America's older generation is disproportionately white compared to the younger population, there are real risks to such segregation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"And that can be really, really harmful when we have generations that don't look like each other, they don't know each other and they don't understand why they need to invest in each other,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She said intergenerational programs can overcome those barriers. That was certainly true for Camilla Dorcey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I think Teeniors are maybe seeing old people as not totally ready to be put in the grave,\" she said. \"For me, it's making me think teenagers should not all be in jail. We're beginning to see a connection between humans of a different age.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 KUNM. To see more, visit \u003ca href=\"https://www.kunm.org\">KUNM\u003c/a>.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Youth+Teaching+Tech+To+Seniors+Fosters+Generational+Connections&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/about-us/staff/kent-pekel/\">Kent Pekel\u003c/a> realized the importance of relationships in his own life in a new way when his wife passed away after losing a fight with breast cancer. He was left to parent three young children on his own. His children's preschool teacher gave him a piece of advice that changed the course of his life and career: \"From now on, it all depends on the relationships – your relationships with those three kids. The relationship is a thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He knew it was important advice, but wasn't quite sure how to follow it. Over his career as an educator at all levels and now as the president and CEO of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/about-us/\">Search Institute\u003c/a>, Pekel has been trying to pry open the \"black box\" of relationships to figure out how we form strong, developmental relationships with kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"A gigantic body of research shows that the relationships in a kid's life are like the roots of a tree,\" Pekel said during a TEDx talk. \"When kids have strong roots they can grow, they can thrive, they can withstand the storms life throws at them.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But many kids are growing up in soil that is not rich and may even have toxins in it. The Search Institute researches relationships and has come up with \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/developmental-relationships-framework/\">five key elements\u003c/a> that are essential to the type of relationship building that helps kids grow into healthy adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Express Care\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The goal is not just a nice relationship, it's a developmental relationship,\"Pekel said. And while caring is a necessary requirement for a developmental relationship, it isn't enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Challenge Growth\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's always a propulsive element to a developmental relationships,\" Pekel said. These adults are constantly pushing young people to grow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Provide Support\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Support doesn't mean becoming a helicopter parent and taking away all opportunity for kids to attempt something on their own and fail. The independence to make mistakes is important, but kids also need someone there who can talk through the mistake and what they might try next. They can't be left completely alone, which also happens to some kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Sharing Power\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a former high school teacher, Pekel knows this one scares a lot of people who work with large groups of kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It doesn't mean relinquishing power,\" Pekel said. \"It means giving kids voice and choice and letting them lead in moments that are appropriate and in ways that reflect their developmental stages.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Expanding Possibilities\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids need to be exposed to things outside their limited world view. \"Introduce them to new people, new places, new concepts,\" Pekel said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/xGHC4k82aeU\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When kids have relationships that reflect these elements, \"their outcomes are dramatically better.\" They are more likely to be motivated, socially responsible, ethical and empathetic. They're also more likely to get good grades and stay away from risky behaviors like alcohol, drugs and suicide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[mindshift-podcast]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Unfortunately, our research is also showing that there's a small but very significant group of kids in our country today who are not experiencing developmental relationships with adults,\" Pekel said. Search Institute surveys of students show that one in five kids report no developmental relationship, and another 20 percent say they have one person who meets the description.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given how important relationships are to setting a kid on a positive trajectory, Pekel says society needs to be talking not just about an \"achievement gap,\" but about the \"relationship gap\" that is likely part of the problem.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are lots of reasons for this relationships gap, but Pekel said Search Institute research is showing \"pretty much everyone who works with kids -- and for a significant extent parents too -- knows that relationships matter.\" Everyone talks about the importance or relationships, \"but the reality is the day in day out investment we make in relationships doesn't reflect the reality,\" Pekel said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's not blaming teachers or after school workers. He's worked with enough schools and teachers to know many building leaders emphasize the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53091/why-schools-should-be-organized-to-prioritize-relationships\">importance of building strong relationships\u003c/a>. And teachers agree. But when Pekel asks them if they are given \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53092/strategies-schools-can-use-to-become-more-trauma-informed\">time to work on relationships\u003c/a>, professional development around how to build and deepen them, or even data on what's working and what isn't, far fewer people raise their hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there is \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/ideas-building-developmental-relationships/\">research on what works\u003c/a>. Pekel shared just one tool his staff have used in many different settings with young people called the \"Four S's interview.\" It can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sit down with a kid and ask to understand their \"Four S's:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Sparks\u003c/strong> - These are the things that get a person up in the morning, their passions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Strengths\u003c/strong> - These are the abilities or values that a person loves about themselves\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Struggles\u003c/strong> - These are the challenges, the things that keep us up at night. They could be typical growing up things or more substantial trauma a student may be dealing with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Supports\u003c/strong> - These are the people and environments that make a person feel accepted and like they can be themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pekel stresses that before an adult jumps into asking a young person these questions they need to explain the four parts of the protocol, and why they are doing it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You want to convey to that young person that 'I want to know your whole self.'\" Pekel said. \"'I want to know what's great about you and where you're struggling.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Setting the conversation up carefully also conveys to the student that the adult is leading them through a process. And the order matters. Students are much more likely to open up about something they love or are passionate about. And it's nice to talk about strengths too. That builds some rapport to get into challenges, but talking about support reminds students they aren't alone with those challenges. There are people and places where they feel safe, hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If done successfully, Pekel said, \"You will have an understanding of that kid that can propel a relationship that can be truly powerful and developmental.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He knows this sounds exhausting, especially to teachers who may see hundreds of students in a day, year after year. But, he said, investing in this way is worth it. And with relationships, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52413/how-teachers-designed-a-school-centered-on-caring-relationships\">there aren't corners to cut\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I'm sorry, but that's what it takes,\" Pekel said. \"It does take that level of effort. It takes that level of intentionality about relationships.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Building developmental relationships will not only help kids, but it will also be rewarding for the adult. Deciding not to invest in relationships yields trees whose roots are so malnourished they struggle to stay standing. And that's difficult for everyone.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "It's an education cliche to say that relationships are at the center of learning. But what tools can teachers use to actually build strong relationships with their students? Kent Pekel of the Search Institute has spent his life researching that question.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/about-us/staff/kent-pekel/\">Kent Pekel\u003c/a> realized the importance of relationships in his own life in a new way when his wife passed away after losing a fight with breast cancer. He was left to parent three young children on his own. His children's preschool teacher gave him a piece of advice that changed the course of his life and career: \"From now on, it all depends on the relationships – your relationships with those three kids. The relationship is a thing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He knew it was important advice, but wasn't quite sure how to follow it. Over his career as an educator at all levels and now as the president and CEO of the \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/about-us/\">Search Institute\u003c/a>, Pekel has been trying to pry open the \"black box\" of relationships to figure out how we form strong, developmental relationships with kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"A gigantic body of research shows that the relationships in a kid's life are like the roots of a tree,\" Pekel said during a TEDx talk. \"When kids have strong roots they can grow, they can thrive, they can withstand the storms life throws at them.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But many kids are growing up in soil that is not rich and may even have toxins in it. The Search Institute researches relationships and has come up with \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/developmental-relationships-framework/\">five key elements\u003c/a> that are essential to the type of relationship building that helps kids grow into healthy adults.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Express Care\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"The goal is not just a nice relationship, it's a developmental relationship,\"Pekel said. And while caring is a necessary requirement for a developmental relationship, it isn't enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Challenge Growth\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"There's always a propulsive element to a developmental relationships,\" Pekel said. These adults are constantly pushing young people to grow.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Provide Support\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Support doesn't mean becoming a helicopter parent and taking away all opportunity for kids to attempt something on their own and fail. The independence to make mistakes is important, but kids also need someone there who can talk through the mistake and what they might try next. They can't be left completely alone, which also happens to some kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Sharing Power\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As a former high school teacher, Pekel knows this one scares a lot of people who work with large groups of kids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It doesn't mean relinquishing power,\" Pekel said. \"It means giving kids voice and choice and letting them lead in moments that are appropriate and in ways that reflect their developmental stages.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5. Expanding Possibilities\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kids need to be exposed to things outside their limited world view. \"Introduce them to new people, new places, new concepts,\" Pekel said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https://www.youtube.com/embed/xGHC4k82aeU\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" scrolling=\"yes\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When kids have relationships that reflect these elements, \"their outcomes are dramatically better.\" They are more likely to be motivated, socially responsible, ethical and empathetic. They're also more likely to get good grades and stay away from risky behaviors like alcohol, drugs and suicide.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003caside class=\"alignleft utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__mindshiftPodcastShortcode__mindshift\">\u003cimg src=https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/mindshiftLogo.png alt=\"Bay Curious Podcast\" loading=\"lazy\" />\n \u003ca href=\"/mindshift/category/mindshiftpodcast\">MindShift\u003c/a> has a podcast! Listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, NPR One or your favorite podcast app.\n Subscribe on \u003ca href=\"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stories-teachers-share-mindshift/id1078765985\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Apple Podcasts\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/I4hhfs3azg3avjzbuowzeal5sze\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Google Podcasts\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://one.npr.org/?sharedMediaId=669511148:669511150\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">NPR One\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Stitcher\u003c/a>,\n \u003ca href=\"https://open.spotify.com/show/0MxSpNYZKNprFLCl7eEtyx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Spotify\u003c/a> or your favorite podcast platform.\u003c/aside>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Unfortunately, our research is also showing that there's a small but very significant group of kids in our country today who are not experiencing developmental relationships with adults,\" Pekel said. Search Institute surveys of students show that one in five kids report no developmental relationship, and another 20 percent say they have one person who meets the description.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Given how important relationships are to setting a kid on a positive trajectory, Pekel says society needs to be talking not just about an \"achievement gap,\" but about the \"relationship gap\" that is likely part of the problem.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are lots of reasons for this relationships gap, but Pekel said Search Institute research is showing \"pretty much everyone who works with kids -- and for a significant extent parents too -- knows that relationships matter.\" Everyone talks about the importance or relationships, \"but the reality is the day in day out investment we make in relationships doesn't reflect the reality,\" Pekel said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's not blaming teachers or after school workers. He's worked with enough schools and teachers to know many building leaders emphasize the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53091/why-schools-should-be-organized-to-prioritize-relationships\">importance of building strong relationships\u003c/a>. And teachers agree. But when Pekel asks them if they are given \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/53092/strategies-schools-can-use-to-become-more-trauma-informed\">time to work on relationships\u003c/a>, professional development around how to build and deepen them, or even data on what's working and what isn't, far fewer people raise their hands.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But there is \u003ca href=\"https://www.search-institute.org/developmental-relationships/ideas-building-developmental-relationships/\">research on what works\u003c/a>. Pekel shared just one tool his staff have used in many different settings with young people called the \"Four S's interview.\" It can take as little as 15 minutes or as long as an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sit down with a kid and ask to understand their \"Four S's:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1. Sparks\u003c/strong> - These are the things that get a person up in the morning, their passions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2. Strengths\u003c/strong> - These are the abilities or values that a person loves about themselves\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3. Struggles\u003c/strong> - These are the challenges, the things that keep us up at night. They could be typical growing up things or more substantial trauma a student may be dealing with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4. Supports\u003c/strong> - These are the people and environments that make a person feel accepted and like they can be themselves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pekel stresses that before an adult jumps into asking a young person these questions they need to explain the four parts of the protocol, and why they are doing it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"You want to convey to that young person that 'I want to know your whole self.'\" Pekel said. \"'I want to know what's great about you and where you're struggling.'\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Setting the conversation up carefully also conveys to the student that the adult is leading them through a process. And the order matters. Students are much more likely to open up about something they love or are passionate about. And it's nice to talk about strengths too. That builds some rapport to get into challenges, but talking about support reminds students they aren't alone with those challenges. There are people and places where they feel safe, hopefully.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If done successfully, Pekel said, \"You will have an understanding of that kid that can propel a relationship that can be truly powerful and developmental.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He knows this sounds exhausting, especially to teachers who may see hundreds of students in a day, year after year. But, he said, investing in this way is worth it. And with relationships, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52413/how-teachers-designed-a-school-centered-on-caring-relationships\">there aren't corners to cut\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I'm sorry, but that's what it takes,\" Pekel said. \"It does take that level of effort. It takes that level of intentionality about relationships.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Building developmental relationships will not only help kids, but it will also be rewarding for the adult. Deciding not to invest in relationships yields trees whose roots are so malnourished they struggle to stay standing. And that's difficult for everyone.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Hope, Happiness And Social Connection: Hidden Benefits Of Regular Exercise",
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"content": "\u003cp>If ever there was a time to up your fitness game, the arrival of the new year and the new decade is it. But after the allure of the new gym membership wears off, our sedentary habits, more often than not, consume our promise of daily workouts. It doesn't have to be this way, says health psychologist and author, \u003ca href=\"http://kellymcgonigal.com/\">Kelly McGonigal\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her new book, \u003cem>The Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage, \u003c/em>the Stanford University lecturer offer new motivation to get moving that has less to do with how we look, or feeling duty-bound to exercise, and everything to do with how movement makes us feel. She shares with readers the often profound, yet lesser-known benefits of exercise that make it a worthy, lifelong activity whether you're young, old, fit or disabled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/titles/790344340/the-joy-of-movement-how-exercise-helps-us-find-happiness-hope-connection-and-cou\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55133 alignright\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/01/movement-e1578379584718.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"375\">\u003c/a>\"I want them to understand [exercise] in a different way than the usual conversation we always have about weight loss, preventing disease and making our bodies look a certain way,\" McGonigal tells NPR.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Among its many life-altering rewards: the generation of hope, happiness, a sense of purpose, greater life satisfaction and rewarding connections with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These benefits are seen throughout the life span,\" she writes. \"They apply to every socioeconomic strata and appear to be culturally universal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they aren't activity-specific and they don't require you to be a superathlete. Whether you run, swim, dance, bike, lift weights, do yoga or participate in team sports — it doesn't matter, McGonigal says — moderate physical activity does far more than make us physically stronger and healthier.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are five of the ways movement can help you enjoy life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1) Activate pleasure \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During exercise, McGonigal explains, our brains release neurotransmitters, in particular dopamine and endocannabinoids, that can generate a natural high similar to that of cannabis, or marijuana.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Many of the effects of cannabis are consistent with descriptions of exercise-induced highs, including the sudden disappearance of worries or stress, a reduction in pain, the slowing of time and a heightening of the senses,\" she writes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while exercise activates the same channels of the brain's reward system that addictive drugs do, she explains, it does so \"in a way that has the complete opposite effect on your capacity to enjoy life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exactly how it all works isn't fully understood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But the basic idea is that your brain will have a more robust response to everyday pleasures,\" she says, \"whether it's your child smiling at you, or the taste of food or your enjoyment of looking at something beautiful — and that's the exact opposite effect of addiction.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2) Become a \"more social version of yourself\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a chapter on the collective joy of exercise, McGonigal explains how endorphins — another type of neurotransmitters released during sustained physical activity — help bond us to others. It's a connection, she writes, that \"can be experienced anytime and anywhere people gather to move in unison,\" be it during the flow of yoga class, during the synchronicity of team rowing, while running with friends or while practicing tai chi with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it also helps explain why those with whom we participate on teams or share fitness friendships often feel like family, she says. Endorphins help strengthen ties to individuals we're not related to, which helps us build extended families and important social networks that help stave off loneliness and social isolation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, humans can build bonds through sedentary activities as well, McGonigal says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But there's something about getting your heart rate up a little bit and using your muscles that creates that brain state that makes you more willing to trust others — that enhances the pleasure you get from interacting with others that often makes you this more social version of yourself,\" she says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>3) Help with depression\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a section on \"green exercise,\" McGonigal discusses the positive shifts in mood and outlook reported by those who\u003ca href=\"https://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/es903183r\"> exercise in nature.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It actually alters what's happening in your brain in a way that looks really similar to meditation,\" she says. \"People report feeling connected to all of life ... and they feel more hopeful about life itself.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Indeed, an \u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22486584\">Austrian study\u003c/a> McGonigal cites found that among people who had previously attempted suicide, the addition of mountain hiking to their standard medical treatment reduced suicidal thinking and hopelessness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>McGonigal says she heard many similar stories among those she interviewed for the book: \"So many people who struggle with anxiety, grief or depression find a kind of relief in being active in nature that they don't find any other way.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>4) Reveal hidden strength \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even for those who don't struggle with mental or physical illness, adopting a regular exercise routine can provide powerful transformation. McGonigal shares stories of several women who overcame limiting beliefs through exercise to reveal new, more powerful selves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If there is a voice in your head saying, 'You're too old, too awkward, too big, too broken, too weak,' physical sensations from movement can provide a compelling counterargument,\" McGonigal writes. \"Even deeply held beliefs about ourselves can be challenged by direct, physical experiences, as new sensations overtake old memories and stories.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5) A boost for the brain\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>McGonigal offers insights drawn from research into ultraendurance athletes and how they survive mentally and physically grueling events designed to last six or more hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When researchers at the Berlin-based Center for Space Medicine and Extreme Environments measured the blood of ultraendurance athletes, they found high levels a family of proteins called myokines, known to help the body burn fat as fuel, to act as natural antidepressants and to provide a possible shield against cognitive decline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But as she reports, you don't need to be a superathlete to experience the benefits of myokines. McGonigal cites a 2018 study that identified 35 of these proteins released by the quadriceps muscles during just one hour of bike riding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Emerging research, she says, suggests that when exercised, your muscles become \"basically a pharmacy for your physical and mental health.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you are willing to move,\" she writes, \"your muscles will give you hope. Your brain will orchestrate pleasure. And your entire physiology will adjust to help you find the energy, purpose and courage you need to keep going.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Hope%2C+Happiness+And+Social+Connection%3A+Hidden+Benefits+Of+Regular+Exercise+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>If ever there was a time to up your fitness game, the arrival of the new year and the new decade is it. But after the allure of the new gym membership wears off, our sedentary habits, more often than not, consume our promise of daily workouts. It doesn't have to be this way, says health psychologist and author, \u003ca href=\"http://kellymcgonigal.com/\">Kelly McGonigal\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In her new book, \u003cem>The Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage, \u003c/em>the Stanford University lecturer offer new motivation to get moving that has less to do with how we look, or feeling duty-bound to exercise, and everything to do with how movement makes us feel. She shares with readers the often profound, yet lesser-known benefits of exercise that make it a worthy, lifelong activity whether you're young, old, fit or disabled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/books/titles/790344340/the-joy-of-movement-how-exercise-helps-us-find-happiness-hope-connection-and-cou\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55133 alignright\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/01/movement-e1578379584718.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"375\">\u003c/a>\"I want them to understand [exercise] in a different way than the usual conversation we always have about weight loss, preventing disease and making our bodies look a certain way,\" McGonigal tells NPR.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Among its many life-altering rewards: the generation of hope, happiness, a sense of purpose, greater life satisfaction and rewarding connections with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"These benefits are seen throughout the life span,\" she writes. \"They apply to every socioeconomic strata and appear to be culturally universal.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And they aren't activity-specific and they don't require you to be a superathlete. Whether you run, swim, dance, bike, lift weights, do yoga or participate in team sports — it doesn't matter, McGonigal says — moderate physical activity does far more than make us physically stronger and healthier.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Here are five of the ways movement can help you enjoy life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>1) Activate pleasure \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During exercise, McGonigal explains, our brains release neurotransmitters, in particular dopamine and endocannabinoids, that can generate a natural high similar to that of cannabis, or marijuana.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Many of the effects of cannabis are consistent with descriptions of exercise-induced highs, including the sudden disappearance of worries or stress, a reduction in pain, the slowing of time and a heightening of the senses,\" she writes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And while exercise activates the same channels of the brain's reward system that addictive drugs do, she explains, it does so \"in a way that has the complete opposite effect on your capacity to enjoy life.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Exactly how it all works isn't fully understood.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"But the basic idea is that your brain will have a more robust response to everyday pleasures,\" she says, \"whether it's your child smiling at you, or the taste of food or your enjoyment of looking at something beautiful — and that's the exact opposite effect of addiction.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>2) Become a \"more social version of yourself\"\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a chapter on the collective joy of exercise, McGonigal explains how endorphins — another type of neurotransmitters released during sustained physical activity — help bond us to others. It's a connection, she writes, that \"can be experienced anytime and anywhere people gather to move in unison,\" be it during the flow of yoga class, during the synchronicity of team rowing, while running with friends or while practicing tai chi with others.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it also helps explain why those with whom we participate on teams or share fitness friendships often feel like family, she says. 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McGonigal shares stories of several women who overcame limiting beliefs through exercise to reveal new, more powerful selves.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If there is a voice in your head saying, 'You're too old, too awkward, too big, too broken, too weak,' physical sensations from movement can provide a compelling counterargument,\" McGonigal writes. \"Even deeply held beliefs about ourselves can be challenged by direct, physical experiences, as new sensations overtake old memories and stories.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>5) A boost for the brain\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>McGonigal offers insights drawn from research into ultraendurance athletes and how they survive mentally and physically grueling events designed to last six or more hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When researchers at the Berlin-based Center for Space Medicine and Extreme Environments measured the blood of ultraendurance athletes, they found high levels a family of proteins called myokines, known to help the body burn fat as fuel, to act as natural antidepressants and to provide a possible shield against cognitive decline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But as she reports, you don't need to be a superathlete to experience the benefits of myokines. 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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"If you are willing to move,\" she writes, \"your muscles will give you hope. Your brain will orchestrate pleasure. And your entire physiology will adjust to help you find the energy, purpose and courage you need to keep going.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Hope%2C+Happiness+And+Social+Connection%3A+Hidden+Benefits+Of+Regular+Exercise+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Start Fresh: 6 Tips For Emotional Well-Being",
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"content": "\u003cp>As a college student, \u003ca href=\"https://oid.wharton.upenn.edu/profile/kmilkman/\">Katy Milkman\u003c/a> played tennis and loved going to the gym. But when she started graduate school, her exercise routine started to flunk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"At the end of a long day of classes, I was exhausted,\" Milkman says. \"Frankly, the last thing I wanted to do was drag myself to the gym. What I really wanted to do was watch TV or read Harry Potter.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What got her back to regular workouts was something she calls \"temptation bundling.\" She resolved to indulge in her love of wizard-lit only while at the gym, by listening to audiobooks with earbuds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Milkman, now a professor at the Wharton School of Business who specializes in human decision-making, says that when it comes to making a behavioral change, the trick is to \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20191228&utm_term=4309970&utm_campaign=health&utm_id=6480438&orgid=305&utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20191229&utm_term=4310790&utm_campaign=health&utm_id=20963634&orgid=151\">pair the thing you dread with something you love\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Looking for more tips like these to make your New Year's resolution stick? Whatever your goals, we have insights that can make it a little easier for you to achieve them. Here are six \"life recipes\" for good mental health from research that NPR reporters covered this year:\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55110\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/caretaker-self-care_wide-4adce35da6f48000f25dceb19d7b18cef4715092-e1578036474716.jpe\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Stressed-out family caregivers who were taught how to reframe negative thoughts and focus on positive experiences actually reduced their anxiety and depression, a study found. \u003ccite>(Cornelia Li for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cultivate joy \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feeling stressed? Just \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\">eight techniques — a \"buffet of life skills\" — can make a significant improvement in well-being\u003c/a>, say scientists who taught the techniques to caregivers of people with dementia. After learning techniques such as how to keep a gratitude journal, for example, and how to quickly reframe negative experiences in a positive light — these family caregivers reported impressive decreases in both stress and anxiety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prepare to fail. It's part of succeeding\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you're trying to get a new routine to stick — whether it's getting more exercise, eating less sugar or learning to play the ukulele — scholars who study human behavior say \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits\">the key is to accept failure as a part of the process\u003c/a>. Expect that at some point you will mess up. And when that happens, don't give in to the \"what-the-heck\" effect — the feeling that since you've missed one session, your whole plan is a bust. Just get back to taking steps toward your goal, and don't beat yourself up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Help an anxious partner the right way\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You can \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/24/744465884/how-to-help-your-anxious-partner-and-yourself\">support a partner who has an anxiety disorder\u003c/a> without sinking yourself, say therapists: First, don't try to fix things immediately. Instead, acknowledge your loved one's perspective. \"You can move to logic, but not before the person feels like they're not being judged and ... misunderstood,\" says licensed psychologist Carolyn Daitch. Learning how to gently maintain boundaries is important, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-55112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/01/anger_animation-e1578036649558.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Feeling extra angry? Get checked out for depression\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many patients — and doctors — associate depression with feelings of hopelessness, sadness and lack of motivation. But a growing number of psychiatrists say\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed\"> depression is also behind some hypercritical tendencies and outbursts of anger\u003c/a>. The good news: This sort of irritability is responsive to counseling and medication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Redefine exercise: Move a little bit, often\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maria Godoy, one of NPR's editors, learned to love exercise when she realized every little bit counts. \"I reframed what I thought of as exercise,\" she says. Vacuuming with gusto, taking the stairs — these\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/01/14/684118974/from-couch-potato-to-fitness-buff-how-i-learned-to-love-exercise\"> little bursts of movement throughout the day add up\u003c/a>, like pennies in a piggy bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Take a minute today to consider your life's purpose\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having a purpose in life seems to have a more powerful impact on decreasing a person's risk of premature death than exercising regularly, quitting smoking or curbing your alcohol intake, research suggests. Maybe you find greatest meaning in guarding the environment, raising good children, making music or touching lives through your volunteer work. It doesn't seem to matter what your life's purpose is, a growing body of research suggests. \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/25/726695968/whats-your-purpose-finding-a-sense-of-meaning-in-life-is-linked-to-health\">What matters is that you feel you have one\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Start+Fresh%3A+6+Tips+For+Emotional+Well-Being+In+2020&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>As a college student, \u003ca href=\"https://oid.wharton.upenn.edu/profile/kmilkman/\">Katy Milkman\u003c/a> played tennis and loved going to the gym. But when she started graduate school, her exercise routine started to flunk.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"At the end of a long day of classes, I was exhausted,\" Milkman says. \"Frankly, the last thing I wanted to do was drag myself to the gym. What I really wanted to do was watch TV or read Harry Potter.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What got her back to regular workouts was something she calls \"temptation bundling.\" She resolved to indulge in her love of wizard-lit only while at the gym, by listening to audiobooks with earbuds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Milkman, now a professor at the Wharton School of Business who specializes in human decision-making, says that when it comes to making a behavioral change, the trick is to \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20191228&utm_term=4309970&utm_campaign=health&utm_id=6480438&orgid=305&utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20191229&utm_term=4310790&utm_campaign=health&utm_id=20963634&orgid=151\">pair the thing you dread with something you love\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Looking for more tips like these to make your New Year's resolution stick? Whatever your goals, we have insights that can make it a little easier for you to achieve them. Here are six \"life recipes\" for good mental health from research that NPR reporters covered this year:\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55110\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/caretaker-self-care_wide-4adce35da6f48000f25dceb19d7b18cef4715092-e1578036474716.jpe\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Stressed-out family caregivers who were taught how to reframe negative thoughts and focus on positive experiences actually reduced their anxiety and depression, a study found. \u003ccite>(Cornelia Li for NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cultivate joy \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Feeling stressed? Just \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/05/719780061/from-gloom-to-gratitude-8-skills-to-cultivate-joy\">eight techniques — a \"buffet of life skills\" — can make a significant improvement in well-being\u003c/a>, say scientists who taught the techniques to caregivers of people with dementia. After learning techniques such as how to keep a gratitude journal, for example, and how to quickly reframe negative experiences in a positive light — these family caregivers reported impressive decreases in both stress and anxiety.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Prepare to fail. It's part of succeeding\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you're trying to get a new routine to stick — whether it's getting more exercise, eating less sugar or learning to play the ukulele — scholars who study human behavior say \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/08/16/747332849/fresh-starts-guilty-pleasures-and-other-pro-tips-for-sticking-to-good-habits\">the key is to accept failure as a part of the process\u003c/a>. Expect that at some point you will mess up. And when that happens, don't give in to the \"what-the-heck\" effect — the feeling that since you've missed one session, your whole plan is a bust. Just get back to taking steps toward your goal, and don't beat yourself up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Help an anxious partner the right way\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You can \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/24/744465884/how-to-help-your-anxious-partner-and-yourself\">support a partner who has an anxiety disorder\u003c/a> without sinking yourself, say therapists: First, don't try to fix things immediately. Instead, acknowledge your loved one's perspective. \"You can move to logic, but not before the person feels like they're not being judged and ... misunderstood,\" says licensed psychologist Carolyn Daitch. Learning how to gently maintain boundaries is important, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-55112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2020/01/anger_animation-e1578036649558.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Feeling extra angry? Get checked out for depression\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Many patients — and doctors — associate depression with feelings of hopelessness, sadness and lack of motivation. But a growing number of psychiatrists say\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/02/04/689747637/if-youre-often-angry-or-irritable-you-may-be-depressed\"> depression is also behind some hypercritical tendencies and outbursts of anger\u003c/a>. The good news: This sort of irritability is responsive to counseling and medication.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Redefine exercise: Move a little bit, often\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maria Godoy, one of NPR's editors, learned to love exercise when she realized every little bit counts. \"I reframed what I thought of as exercise,\" she says. Vacuuming with gusto, taking the stairs — these\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/01/14/684118974/from-couch-potato-to-fitness-buff-how-i-learned-to-love-exercise\"> little bursts of movement throughout the day add up\u003c/a>, like pennies in a piggy bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Take a minute today to consider your life's purpose\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having a purpose in life seems to have a more powerful impact on decreasing a person's risk of premature death than exercising regularly, quitting smoking or curbing your alcohol intake, research suggests. Maybe you find greatest meaning in guarding the environment, raising good children, making music or touching lives through your volunteer work. It doesn't seem to matter what your life's purpose is, a growing body of research suggests. \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/05/25/726695968/whats-your-purpose-finding-a-sense-of-meaning-in-life-is-linked-to-health\">What matters is that you feel you have one\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Start+Fresh%3A+6+Tips+For+Emotional+Well-Being+In+2020&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Lual Mayen, a video game developer based in Washington, D.C., remembers the first time he saw a computer. He was just a kid at the time. It was 2007, and his family was registering for benefits at a refugee camp in Uganda, where they'd settled after fleeing civil war in South Sudan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He didn't tell anyone at first, but in that moment he knew in his heart that he wanted to learn to code, he says. More than a decade later, Mayen is garnering international recognition from Facebook and the global gaming community for an innovative video game that brings players into the life of a refugee. The latest version of the game — called \"Salaam,\" which means \"peace\" in Arabic — will be released on Thursday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But before that could happen, Mayen had to get his mom to take him seriously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he eventually confessed his dream to his mother, he says she laughed at him. \"She looked at me like I was crazy. 'What are you going to do with a computer? Who's gonna train you?' But because she was a mother to me, she didn't discourage me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says his mother quietly began putting away part of her earnings from mending clothes for other refugees at the camp. After three years she saved $300 and surprised him with a laptop.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen was astonished and grateful for the gift, but he says it also came with a downside. He worried that if he didn't take advantage of her gift, his mother would take his or his brothers' desires less seriously. Also, he wasn't sure where to begin learning to use it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His first hurdle to mastering the computer was simple but significant: finding a place to charge it. He eventually found a generator in a distant part of the refugee camp and says he walked three hours each direction to get there every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next, he needed instruction. He couldn't access the Internet, but a friend gave him coding tutorials loaded onto a flash drive. That same friend also gave him a copy of his first video game: Grand Theft Auto.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says he was drawn to the game, which is famously violent, but \"I felt like this is what is actually happening in my country. This is war.\" He started to wonder what if, instead of a game that encourages players to take violent actions, \"I could make the same thing happen, but for peace and conflict resolution?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was the inspiration for the mobile phone game, Salaam, which he spent the following months creating. In the game, players take on the identity of a refugee escaping a conflict zone and have to gather resources like food and medicine while running away from violence to stay alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55033\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55033\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/game_diptych-1_custom-2142cdda5f1e85ab4862af63c1216e17e1da8b32-e1576134958974.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1169\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Screen shots of Salaam. Players gather resources like food and medicine while running away from violence to stay alive. \u003ccite>(Salaam Game)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Mayen shared the game on his Facebook page, and that's when he started attracting international attention. Most notably, more than 26 million people watched via livestream as Mayen was \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/fbgaminghome/blog/the-game-awards-2018-recognizing-this-years-global-gaming-citizens\">named a Global Gaming Citizen\u003c/a> at the 2018 Game Awards in Los Angeles, for using gaming to promote \"positivity\" and community.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even within that category Mayen is a standout, says Leo Olebe. He's the global director of games partnerships at Facebook, which co-developed the Global Gaming Citizen category for the Game Awards. \"In the games business, it's really easy to fall back on orcs and goblins,\" says Olebe. \"It's really hard to take this throughline of peace and conflict resolution and carry it through everything that you do. And Lual does that. It's mind-blowing stuff.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen is now focused on bringing Salaam to a larger audience by releasing an enhanced version on Facebook Instant Games, through the company he created, \u003ca href=\"https://junubgames.com/\">Junub Games\u003c/a>. His vision is to use the game to inspire empathy for refugees. And he says he's working on a charitable component so that when players make in-app purchases of extra resources in the game, a portion would go to a grassroots organization at a refugee camp. As people pay to \"stay alive\" a little longer in the game, they're supporting actual refugees' lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olebe says so-called \"social impact games\" like Salaam are a category that has the potential to push the industry to expand its definition of success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Lual is actually making a difference in this world by inspiring people to be better,\" he says. \"That's a very different and important metric relative to retention rates or lifetime value of a player or other things people talk about more often in the games industry. I don't even know how you place a value on helping somebody better understand the world. He's playing a whole different game altogether.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55034\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55034\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/20191104_dull_videogame-128-2_custom-a2559173009cbcff5a21ee7c7514f58a78281b2f-e1576135007615.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1498\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">South Sudanese refugee Lual Mayen explains his video game during a visit to NPR. \u003ccite>(Catie Dull/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Games where a player takes on another person's perspective or becomes immersed in a specific environment can be beneficial in building positive interpersonal relationships, according to \u003ca href=\"https://centerhealthyminds.org/about/people/tammi-kral\">Tammi Kral\u003c/a>, a research assistant at the Center for Healthy Minds at University of Wisconsin-Madison who is not affiliated with Junub Games or Salaam. Kral says that as video game developers explore the potential for games to inspire \"prosocial\" behavior, they would do well to collaborate with psychologists and behavioral scientists who understand the impact of games on specific brain networks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The video game also comes at a time when the Trump administration has \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/09/26/764839236/trump-administration-drastically-cuts-number-of-refugees-allowed-to-enter-the-u\">slashed the number of refugees\u003c/a> who will be permitted to resettle in the U.S. in the coming year by nearly half to 18,000 — a record low since the modern refugee program was established in 1980.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Building empathy for refugees is especially pressing \"under an administration that overtly expresses anti-immigrant sentiment and promulgates harmful policies against refugees and immigrants,\" says Rachel Landry, acting director of refugee resettlement and asylum policy and advocacy at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.rescue.org/\">International Rescue Committee.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says Junub plans to premiere the newer, enhanced version of Salaam on December 12 during the livestream of the 2019 Game Awards. He says the main objective of the game remains the same: taking a character from a war-torn environment to a peaceful context that's left intentionally undefined.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's not a country. It's not a camp. It's just a place you can have peace of mind,\" he says. \"It's not about the destination. The main thing is helping people understand the journey of the refugee and to have empathy for what refugees have to go through.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Kid+In+A+Refugee+Camp+Thought+Video+Games+Fell+From+Heaven.+Now+He+Makes+Them&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Lual Mayen, a video game developer based in Washington, D.C., remembers the first time he saw a computer. He was just a kid at the time. It was 2007, and his family was registering for benefits at a refugee camp in Uganda, where they'd settled after fleeing civil war in South Sudan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He didn't tell anyone at first, but in that moment he knew in his heart that he wanted to learn to code, he says. More than a decade later, Mayen is garnering international recognition from Facebook and the global gaming community for an innovative video game that brings players into the life of a refugee. The latest version of the game — called \"Salaam,\" which means \"peace\" in Arabic — will be released on Thursday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But before that could happen, Mayen had to get his mom to take him seriously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he eventually confessed his dream to his mother, he says she laughed at him. \"She looked at me like I was crazy. 'What are you going to do with a computer? Who's gonna train you?' But because she was a mother to me, she didn't discourage me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says his mother quietly began putting away part of her earnings from mending clothes for other refugees at the camp. After three years she saved $300 and surprised him with a laptop.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen was astonished and grateful for the gift, but he says it also came with a downside. He worried that if he didn't take advantage of her gift, his mother would take his or his brothers' desires less seriously. Also, he wasn't sure where to begin learning to use it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His first hurdle to mastering the computer was simple but significant: finding a place to charge it. He eventually found a generator in a distant part of the refugee camp and says he walked three hours each direction to get there every day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Next, he needed instruction. He couldn't access the Internet, but a friend gave him coding tutorials loaded onto a flash drive. That same friend also gave him a copy of his first video game: Grand Theft Auto.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says he was drawn to the game, which is famously violent, but \"I felt like this is what is actually happening in my country. This is war.\" He started to wonder what if, instead of a game that encourages players to take violent actions, \"I could make the same thing happen, but for peace and conflict resolution?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was the inspiration for the mobile phone game, Salaam, which he spent the following months creating. In the game, players take on the identity of a refugee escaping a conflict zone and have to gather resources like food and medicine while running away from violence to stay alive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55033\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55033\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/game_diptych-1_custom-2142cdda5f1e85ab4862af63c1216e17e1da8b32-e1576134958974.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1169\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Screen shots of Salaam. Players gather resources like food and medicine while running away from violence to stay alive. \u003ccite>(Salaam Game)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Mayen shared the game on his Facebook page, and that's when he started attracting international attention. Most notably, more than 26 million people watched via livestream as Mayen was \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/fbgaminghome/blog/the-game-awards-2018-recognizing-this-years-global-gaming-citizens\">named a Global Gaming Citizen\u003c/a> at the 2018 Game Awards in Los Angeles, for using gaming to promote \"positivity\" and community.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Even within that category Mayen is a standout, says Leo Olebe. He's the global director of games partnerships at Facebook, which co-developed the Global Gaming Citizen category for the Game Awards. \"In the games business, it's really easy to fall back on orcs and goblins,\" says Olebe. \"It's really hard to take this throughline of peace and conflict resolution and carry it through everything that you do. And Lual does that. It's mind-blowing stuff.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen is now focused on bringing Salaam to a larger audience by releasing an enhanced version on Facebook Instant Games, through the company he created, \u003ca href=\"https://junubgames.com/\">Junub Games\u003c/a>. His vision is to use the game to inspire empathy for refugees. And he says he's working on a charitable component so that when players make in-app purchases of extra resources in the game, a portion would go to a grassroots organization at a refugee camp. As people pay to \"stay alive\" a little longer in the game, they're supporting actual refugees' lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Olebe says so-called \"social impact games\" like Salaam are a category that has the potential to push the industry to expand its definition of success.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Lual is actually making a difference in this world by inspiring people to be better,\" he says. \"That's a very different and important metric relative to retention rates or lifetime value of a player or other things people talk about more often in the games industry. I don't even know how you place a value on helping somebody better understand the world. He's playing a whole different game altogether.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_55034\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\" style=\"max-width: 1920px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-55034\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/23/2019/12/20191104_dull_videogame-128-2_custom-a2559173009cbcff5a21ee7c7514f58a78281b2f-e1576135007615.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1498\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">South Sudanese refugee Lual Mayen explains his video game during a visit to NPR. \u003ccite>(Catie Dull/NPR)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Games where a player takes on another person's perspective or becomes immersed in a specific environment can be beneficial in building positive interpersonal relationships, according to \u003ca href=\"https://centerhealthyminds.org/about/people/tammi-kral\">Tammi Kral\u003c/a>, a research assistant at the Center for Healthy Minds at University of Wisconsin-Madison who is not affiliated with Junub Games or Salaam. Kral says that as video game developers explore the potential for games to inspire \"prosocial\" behavior, they would do well to collaborate with psychologists and behavioral scientists who understand the impact of games on specific brain networks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The video game also comes at a time when the Trump administration has \u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/2019/09/26/764839236/trump-administration-drastically-cuts-number-of-refugees-allowed-to-enter-the-u\">slashed the number of refugees\u003c/a> who will be permitted to resettle in the U.S. in the coming year by nearly half to 18,000 — a record low since the modern refugee program was established in 1980.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Building empathy for refugees is especially pressing \"under an administration that overtly expresses anti-immigrant sentiment and promulgates harmful policies against refugees and immigrants,\" says Rachel Landry, acting director of refugee resettlement and asylum policy and advocacy at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.rescue.org/\">International Rescue Committee.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mayen says Junub plans to premiere the newer, enhanced version of Salaam on December 12 during the livestream of the 2019 Game Awards. He says the main objective of the game remains the same: taking a character from a war-torn environment to a peaceful context that's left intentionally undefined.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"It's not a country. It's not a camp. It's just a place you can have peace of mind,\" he says. \"It's not about the destination. The main thing is helping people understand the journey of the refugee and to have empathy for what refugees have to go through.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=A+Kid+In+A+Refugee+Camp+Thought+Video+Games+Fell+From+Heaven.+Now+He+Makes+Them&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"marketplace": {
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
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"politicalbreakdown": {
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"title": "Political Breakdown",
"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
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"possible": {
"id": "possible",
"title": "Possible",
"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"pri-the-world": {
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"title": "PRI's The World: Latest Edition",
"info": "Each weekday, host Marco Werman and his team of producers bring you the world's most interesting stories in an hour of radio that reminds us just how small our planet really is.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-World-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"radiolab": {
"id": "radiolab",
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"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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"reveal": {
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"info": "Created by The Center for Investigative Reporting and PRX, Reveal is public radios first one-hour weekly radio show and podcast dedicated to investigative reporting. Credible, fact based and without a partisan agenda, Reveal combines the power and artistry of driveway moment storytelling with data-rich reporting on critically important issues. The result is stories that inform and inspire, arming our listeners with information to right injustices, hold the powerful accountable and improve lives.Reveal is hosted by Al Letson and showcases the award-winning work of CIR and newsrooms large and small across the nation. In a radio and podcast market crowded with choices, Reveal focuses on important and often surprising stories that illuminate the world for our listeners.",
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},
"rightnowish": {
"id": "rightnowish",
"title": "Rightnowish",
"tagline": "Art is where you find it",
"info": "Rightnowish digs into life in the Bay Area right now… ish. Journalist Pendarvis Harshaw takes us to galleries painted on the sides of liquor stores in West Oakland. We'll dance in warehouses in the Bayview, make smoothies with kids in South Berkeley, and listen to classical music in a 1984 Cutlass Supreme in Richmond. Every week, Pen talks to movers and shakers about how the Bay Area shapes what they create, and how they shape the place we call home.",
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"order": 16
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},
"science-friday": {
"id": "science-friday",
"title": "Science Friday",
"info": "Science Friday is a weekly science talk show, broadcast live over public radio stations nationwide. Each week, the show focuses on science topics that are in the news and tries to bring an educated, balanced discussion to bear on the scientific issues at hand. Panels of expert guests join host Ira Flatow, a veteran science journalist, to discuss science and to take questions from listeners during the call-in portion of the program.",
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"snap-judgment": {
"id": "snap-judgment",
"title": "Snap Judgment",
"tagline": "Real stories with killer beats",
"info": "The Snap Judgment radio show and podcast mixes real stories with killer beats to produce cinematic, dramatic radio. Snap's musical brand of storytelling dares listeners to see the world through the eyes of another. This is storytelling... with a BEAT!! Snap first aired on public radio stations nationwide in July 2010. Today, Snap Judgment airs on over 450 public radio stations and is brought to the airwaves by KQED & PRX.",
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