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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross rescued Doc from a life of eating French rats and cauterizing festering wounds with a spoon, Drake got broken up with \u003cem>and\u003c/em> shot in the back, and Demelza wondered if she'll ever be able to enjoy a single day without worrying about everyone she loves dropping dead (short answer: nope). Will Doc's PTSD make him distant from Horace the Pug? Will Drake finally release a rap album his 21st-century namesake can be proud of? Will Demelza take some much-needed me-time at a spa and catch up on her stack of \u003cem>US Weekly\u003c/em> magazines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still recuperating from a bullet wound / breakup double whammy, Drake informs Ross and Demelza that he plans to move far, far away to a land where no one ever gets dumped or shot. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross makes his own proclamation-that'll-never-come-true: he plans to stop doing dangerous things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97082 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"1200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This has nothing to do with the narrative, but am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to Demelza's sad, flat hat?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-800x449.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-768x431.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1920x1077.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1180x662.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-960x538.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-520x292.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, just look at it! Did it get run over by a horse and carriage? Are they so poor that she has to wear a place setting on her head? Is anyone else craving a crepe with Nutella right now, after staring at this thing? Just me? Okay, cool. Back to the story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to chez Malfoy to hang out with Agatha (i.e. get drunk and pull a tarot card or two). He doesn't know it, but, upstairs, Malfoy and Elizabeth are being gross in bed. No, not having sex; they definitely never do that. They're eating strawberries fully clothed and indulging in their two favorite pastimes: complaining about Ross (how dare he free Doc's rich prison bestie from captivity!) and plotting to marry Morwenna to Gross Goblin to advance their never-ending social-climbing ambitions. At this point, even the Devil himself is like, \u003cem>Ew, you two, take it down a few notches.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Broken Record Ross tells Agatha all about a new plan to help poor people (this time, it's turning one of his fields into a public garden!). Like me, Agatha is bored by this. She decides to spice things up by informing Ross that Malfoy and Elizabeth are right above their heads. Ross can't believe Agatha didn't warn him. A pair of Deal-With-It sunglasses fall from the sky onto Agatha's face. Someone has to stir the pot around here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Making a hasty exit, Ross spots a crying Valentine and, for .003 seconds, feels bad for abandoning him, but quickly gets over it. Valentine is going to have \u003cem>sooo\u003c/em> much to tell his therapist when he grows up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, a beardless (and -- let's be real -- less hot) Doc is suffering with traumatic flashbacks of his time in prison. Because Oprah won't get around to producing a special on PTSD for a few centuries, Blondie doesn't understand why Doc bristles when she asks whether they should snack on almond biscuits or marzipan for lunch.\u003cem> I'M STILL DIGESTING MY RAT DINNER! DON'T YOU GET IT?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right before Doc blows up, Demelza and her Nutella crepe hat walk in. She immediately experiences that feeling you get when you stroll up on two friends who are clearly in a fight, but are now pretending they're not for your sake, and you wish you could just retreat backwards really slowly, but you're stuck forever and might die of awkwardness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie mentions that Doc's worst nightmare is cards. Internally, Doc screams, \u003cem>UM! NO! IT'S PROBABLY WHEN THE GUARDS KILLED MY FRIEND FOR HAVING BROWN EYES!!! \u003c/em>Blondie also mentions that silly ol' Doc wants to rejoin the Navy once he's fully recovered, and asks Demelza to scold him. Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Malfoy, word has gotten out about Ross regularly visiting Agatha. Elizabeth decides someone should pay. That someone is Morwenna, who will be married off against her will at once! Malfoy yells at Morwenna about how much Gross Goblin is suffering, while awaiting a response to his proposal: \"He is quite distraught and hardly knows what to do with himself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Gross Goblin knowing exactly what to do with himself, mainly sucking on a prostitute's big toe. That's all I'll say about that because ew. But I finally know why this dude looks so familiar. He's the ancestor of this character from \u003cem>Dune\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Malfoy property, there are toads everywhere. Apparently, Drake released a bunch of them to make Morwenna smile. Wow, life was that dull before Netflix that the best entertainment you could hope for was... amphibians? As a famous politician (who also looks a bit like the guy from \u003cem>Dune)\u003c/em> says: Sad!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles are inexplicably cracking up at the toads, Drake pops out from behind a bush. He has his heart set on one final romantic gesture before he moves away forever. Morwenna and Drake have so much to say to each other, but third-wheel-extraordinaire / decorated cock-block Geoffrey Charles is standing right in the middle of things and not taking the hint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97090\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, someone from the house calls for Geoffrey Charles, leaving the two lovebirds alone. Drake shares a few lines from the rap album he's working on:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All I could think of is you. Day. Night. Sun. Moon. Sleeping. Waking. Working. Dreaming.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna pretends like she doesn't want to immediately download it on iTunes. They are from different classes! It will never work! Rules > Love! But who is she kidding? That rap song is fire. She smashes her mouth into his and they make out for a long time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, making out is also on the agenda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"My love, shall we to bed?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Forgive me. I'm so accustomed at being awake at all hours of the night, I barely know how to sleep these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"I was not suggesting sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I think I'll go downstairs and read a while.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brutal! Our thoughts and prayers go out to Horace the Pug's mom at this difficult time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza asks if Blondie and Doc are ill-suited. Ross's theory is that Blondie loves him, but it doesn't matter; war veterans lose the capacity to receive or give love, and end up resenting their wives for no good reason. Demelza makes the kind of face reserved for the moment your teacher hands back a test and you get a load of all the answers you should have known but got wrong. \"But if a man's wife can't help him, who can?\" she asks. Again, you know this answer, girl. His trifling, jealous ex, duh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the devil, Elizabeth is startled awake by Malfoy's screaming about the toads again. Their ribbits are messing with his beauty sleep! He has no idea that, in a few centuries, people will pay good money for sleep machines that mimic swamp sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy of course thinks Ross is behind the toads. Somewhere, Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Sam is very upset about Drake's soul, now that he's tongue wrestling again. Demelza thinks Sam should get a hobby that isn't wringing his hands over who is playing tonsil hockey at any given moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But sex is evil and sinful and bad!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> If sex is wrong, I don't want to be right!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Not your soul too! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's pad, Doc is staring into the fireplace, reminiscing about all his dead friends again. Blondie decides it's a good idea to sneak up behind him and say \"CAUGHT YOU!\" You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that phrase might be a smidge triggering for a prisoner-of-war. Doc understandably freaks out, wishes for opium so he can drug himself into oblivion, and storms out. R.I.P. Honeymoon period. Also R.I.P. Any chance these two will have sex a third time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ever the savior, Ross brings over Doc's prison bestie to help make Doc feel better. It works, which bums Blondie out even more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Agatha takes a minute out of her busy boozing schedule to bully Malfoy, and I'm 100% here for it. She points out that the reason everyone hated him in childhood wasn't because his grandfather was poor, but because he was ashamed that his grandfather was poor. There's a difference. Also, his face was really annoying and punchable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Morwenna tells Drake that Malfoy has a phobia of toads because Ross used to fill his pants with them at school (I don't condone bullying, but touché, young Ross). She warns him to stop putting them in the pond to make her laugh because a.) he'll get caught and b.) they're not that funny. Drake wants to keep doing it because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ . \"Did we not agree? Some things are worth the risk,\" he proclaims. Love and destroying classism, sure, but relocating toads?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Geoffrey Charles is running all over Cornwall, trying to warn Drake about a trap Malfoy has set. But it's too late. Drake is already letting more toads loose because HA HA HA LOL HILARIOUS! He soon discovers that there are three armed Slytherin cronies waiting to kill him. Dude, you just got shot last week and you're courting another bullet over toads?! Early aughts rapper Eve was right: \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVk9jvSv27Y\">Love is blind\u003c/a> and it will take over your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Drake, Demelza receives Geoffrey Charles' warning and rushes to help get her stupid-in-love brother out of another pickle. Demelza throws a rock to distract the guards and runs off into the woods with Drake! A Slytherin crony shoots and misses Drake's skull! Everyone really needs to calm down! They're just toads! Slytherin crony throws a club at Drake's back! Drake falls! Slytherin crony lifts his club to crack Drake's skull! Out of nowhere, Ross knocks Slytherin crony out! Ross, Demelza, and Drake escape!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Malfoy is livid. He lashes out by announcing Geoffrey Charles will be sent to boarding school to have his pants filled with toads too. The circle of life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Geoffrey Charles runs to tell Drake that he's being sent away, gives him a parting gift, and also casually mentions that Morwenna is going to marry Gross Goblin. Okay, so Geoffrey Charles is either really dumb or really sneaky. Either he hasn't once, during all those throuple dates, picked up on the fact that Drake and Morwenna are into each other in a way that Sam would find sinful. Or he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> picked up on that and wants Drake all for himself. I mean, his mother \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Elizabeth. I wouldn't put it past him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next time Drake and Morwenna meet, Drake takes off his shirt to show her his new club wound because no one has taken off their shirt in a while and the\u003cem> Poldark\u003c/em> writers know what the audience wants. Drake and Morwenna make out for a while before he is like, \u003cem>Um, you forgot to tell me you're getting married to someone who's not me. What gives?!\u003c/em> She tries to explain: \u003cem>You're poor and I'm not. So sayonara love, hello toe sucking! \u003c/em>Drake tells her he'll try to make some money so she will deign to pick him over Gross Goblin. Morwenna is like, \u003cem>Yes! Stop being poor!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97105\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a nearby hill, Slytherin crony spots Drake in all his shirtlessness and club woundedness and runs home to report the hot gossip. Here we go...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Morwenna gets back home, Elizabeth and Malfoy basically call her a whore and tell her she'll be sent back to her mother because they don't want to be associated with such immoral behavior. Um, Elizabeth, did you forget your whole home-wrecking adventure last season? Surely, your new baby, who isn't at all related to your husband, should be enough of a reminder?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"289\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes the scolding in stride and agrees to go back home. Elizabeth is annoyed that Morwenna didn't sob or anything. How is she supposed to get a high from torturing people, if they don't show signs of suffering? #FirstWorldVillainProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc loudly tells Prison Bestie how he never realized how unimaginative and boring Blondie is. Of course, Blondie is nearby and hears the whole thing. Prison Bestie is like, \u003cem>Way harsh, Tai. Maybe try talking to her?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth asks Geoffrey Charles where his fancy Bible went. Cut to Slytherin crony trespassing into Drake's house and finding Geoffrey Charles' unopened gift. Drake is taken into custody for \"stealing.\" Because the Bible is worth more than 40 shillings, the punishment is most likely death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to review:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for letting toads loose: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for accepting an only-sort-of-expensive gift: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for mining without common sense: DEATH (R.I.P. Francis).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for having a mom nice enough to nurse a sick Elizabeth and Geoffrey Charles back to life: BABY DEATH (R.I.P. Julia).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary, the 1700s were the worst!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza vows to give a statement in front of the magistrate that she saw Geoffrey Charles give Drake the Bible as a present. \u003cem>Easy! Glad that's all sorted!\u003c/em> she thinks, before Ross bursts her bubble by reminding her that Malfoy is the magistrate. Demelza blows up at Ross for being too noble or whatever to accept the position when it was offered to him. Yeah, Ross, WTF!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"682\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to Malfoy's place. They argue over many points that, as always, boil down to who has the bigger penis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy makes Morwenna a proposition: He'll let Drake live, if she marries Gross Goblin. You know, this whole mess would come to a nice, swift conclusion if Morwenna just stabbed Malfoy to death. Just saying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's, Doc opens up about his survivor's guilt and admits that, while high thread counts and macarons and sex all are odious to him at the moment, he hopes to begin enjoying all three again soon -- maybe even at the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross' farm, Sam consoles Demelza by saying there's nothing they can do about Drake's imminent execution except pray. Actually, there's a lot both of you could do, but whatever. Right then, Drake walks up, a free man! Everyone celebrates! Morwenna will be moving in soon! All's well that ends well! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast. Mid jubilation, a letter comes inviting everyone to church. What they find is the end of Morwenna's wedding ceremony to Gross Goblin. Malfoy walks by a devastated Drake and co. with this smug look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Print it out and give it a good punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth (Again! Surprise!). \u003c/strong>Every villain has a good origin story, an early trauma that causes them to unleash terror. This week, we found out that Malfoy's reason was... someone put a toad in his pants one time.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Grow a thicker skin, dude. Geez. As for Elizabeth, everything she's done on this show has been entirely self-centered and awful. Marrying Ross' first cousin 'cause he took too long surviving the war? Repaying Demelza for nursing her back to life and sacrificing her own baby in the process by boinking her husband? Gleefully marrying off Morwenna in order to be invited to cooler parties? Get these two a one-way ticket to the ninth circle of Hell (that one is for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Nameless Prostitute\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Having her toes gobbled on by Gross Goblin must have been hard.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie. \u003c/strong>It's not her fault she's all \u003cem>Let them eat macarons!\u003c/em> Just one season ago, she thought poor people were gross and should die. She's come a long way. Give her a break, Doc! (Horace the Pug may or may not have slipped me a shilling or two to write this.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross.\u003c/strong> I vowed to hate him forever last season, but he's Good Samaritan-ed his way back into my heart. Now if he could come over and turn all the water that comes out of my kitchen faucet into wine, all will be officially forgiven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Drake.\u003c/strong> Shot in the back, clubbed in the back, broken up with every other day, jailed, sentenced to death, and robbed of his one true love. The material for his rap album is just piling up, and it'll all be worth it when he walks home with eight Grammys (which are worth way more than Geoffrey Charles' dumb little Bible). Hang in there, Drake! It gets better (*whispers* actually, it might not).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "A foot fetish, a plague of frogs, a bad case of PTSD: this episode has it all!",
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"description": "A foot fetish, a plague of frogs, a bad case of PTSD: this episode has it all!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross rescued Doc from a life of eating French rats and cauterizing festering wounds with a spoon, Drake got broken up with \u003cem>and\u003c/em> shot in the back, and Demelza wondered if she'll ever be able to enjoy a single day without worrying about everyone she loves dropping dead (short answer: nope). Will Doc's PTSD make him distant from Horace the Pug? Will Drake finally release a rap album his 21st-century namesake can be proud of? Will Demelza take some much-needed me-time at a spa and catch up on her stack of \u003cem>US Weekly\u003c/em> magazines? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Still recuperating from a bullet wound / breakup double whammy, Drake informs Ross and Demelza that he plans to move far, far away to a land where no one ever gets dumped or shot. Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross makes his own proclamation-that'll-never-come-true: he plans to stop doing dangerous things.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/That%E2%80%99s-A-Good-One-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97082 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yeah-right-get-real-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"1200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This has nothing to do with the narrative, but am I the only one who has a visceral reaction to Demelza's sad, flat hat?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1020x572.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-160x90.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-800x449.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-768x431.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1920x1077.png 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-1180x662.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-960x538.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-240x135.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-375x210.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-28-at-7.22.35-PM-520x292.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, just look at it! Did it get run over by a horse and carriage? Are they so poor that she has to wear a place setting on her head? Is anyone else craving a crepe with Nutella right now, after staring at this thing? Just me? Okay, cool. Back to the story!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to chez Malfoy to hang out with Agatha (i.e. get drunk and pull a tarot card or two). He doesn't know it, but, upstairs, Malfoy and Elizabeth are being gross in bed. No, not having sex; they definitely never do that. They're eating strawberries fully clothed and indulging in their two favorite pastimes: complaining about Ross (how dare he free Doc's rich prison bestie from captivity!) and plotting to marry Morwenna to Gross Goblin to advance their never-ending social-climbing ambitions. At this point, even the Devil himself is like, \u003cem>Ew, you two, take it down a few notches.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Broken Record Ross tells Agatha all about a new plan to help poor people (this time, it's turning one of his fields into a public garden!). Like me, Agatha is bored by this. She decides to spice things up by informing Ross that Malfoy and Elizabeth are right above their heads. Ross can't believe Agatha didn't warn him. A pair of Deal-With-It sunglasses fall from the sky onto Agatha's face. Someone has to stir the pot around here.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97086\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pot-stirrer.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Making a hasty exit, Ross spots a crying Valentine and, for .003 seconds, feels bad for abandoning him, but quickly gets over it. Valentine is going to have \u003cem>sooo\u003c/em> much to tell his therapist when he grows up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/deadbeat-judge-judy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, a beardless (and -- let's be real -- less hot) Doc is suffering with traumatic flashbacks of his time in prison. Because Oprah won't get around to producing a special on PTSD for a few centuries, Blondie doesn't understand why Doc bristles when she asks whether they should snack on almond biscuits or marzipan for lunch.\u003cem> I'M STILL DIGESTING MY RAT DINNER! DON'T YOU GET IT?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right before Doc blows up, Demelza and her Nutella crepe hat walk in. She immediately experiences that feeling you get when you stroll up on two friends who are clearly in a fight, but are now pretending they're not for your sake, and you wish you could just retreat backwards really slowly, but you're stuck forever and might die of awkwardness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie mentions that Doc's worst nightmare is cards. Internally, Doc screams, \u003cem>UM! NO! IT'S PROBABLY WHEN THE GUARDS KILLED MY FRIEND FOR HAVING BROWN EYES!!! \u003c/em>Blondie also mentions that silly ol' Doc wants to rejoin the Navy once he's fully recovered, and asks Demelza to scold him. Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1020x573.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1920x1079.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-get-me-outta-here-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Malfoy, word has gotten out about Ross regularly visiting Agatha. Elizabeth decides someone should pay. That someone is Morwenna, who will be married off against her will at once! Malfoy yells at Morwenna about how much Gross Goblin is suffering, while awaiting a response to his proposal: \"He is quite distraught and hardly knows what to do with himself!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Gross Goblin knowing exactly what to do with himself, mainly sucking on a prostitute's big toe. That's all I'll say about that because ew. But I finally know why this dude looks so familiar. He's the ancestor of this character from \u003cem>Dune\u003c/em>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dune-03.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Malfoy property, there are toads everywhere. Apparently, Drake released a bunch of them to make Morwenna smile. Wow, life was that dull before Netflix that the best entertainment you could hope for was... amphibians? As a famous politician (who also looks a bit like the guy from \u003cem>Dune)\u003c/em> says: Sad!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles are inexplicably cracking up at the toads, Drake pops out from behind a bush. He has his heart set on one final romantic gesture before he moves away forever. Morwenna and Drake have so much to say to each other, but third-wheel-extraordinaire / decorated cock-block Geoffrey Charles is standing right in the middle of things and not taking the hint.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97090\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/omg-scram-poldark-morwenna-drake-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, someone from the house calls for Geoffrey Charles, leaving the two lovebirds alone. Drake shares a few lines from the rap album he's working on:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All I could think of is you. Day. Night. Sun. Moon. Sleeping. Waking. Working. Dreaming.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna pretends like she doesn't want to immediately download it on iTunes. They are from different classes! It will never work! Rules > Love! But who is she kidding? That rap song is fire. She smashes her mouth into his and they make out for a long time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/madonna-drake-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"184\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, making out is also on the agenda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"My love, shall we to bed?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97097\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-honey-matilda-sexy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"259\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Forgive me. I'm so accustomed at being awake at all hours of the night, I barely know how to sleep these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97096\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/debbie-downer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"I was not suggesting sleep.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-weekend-update-snl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"263\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I think I'll go downstairs and read a while.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-37158\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/diss.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/did-my-hair-get-flat-bad-lighting-clueless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Brutal! Our thoughts and prayers go out to Horace the Pug's mom at this difficult time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Demelza asks if Blondie and Doc are ill-suited. Ross's theory is that Blondie loves him, but it doesn't matter; war veterans lose the capacity to receive or give love, and end up resenting their wives for no good reason. Demelza makes the kind of face reserved for the moment your teacher hands back a test and you get a load of all the answers you should have known but got wrong. \"But if a man's wife can't help him, who can?\" she asks. Again, you know this answer, girl. His trifling, jealous ex, duh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the devil, Elizabeth is startled awake by Malfoy's screaming about the toads again. Their ribbits are messing with his beauty sleep! He has no idea that, in a few centuries, people will pay good money for sleep machines that mimic swamp sounds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy of course thinks Ross is behind the toads. Somewhere, Ross is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-are-you-so-obsessed-with-me-mariah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a field, Sam is very upset about Drake's soul, now that he's tongue wrestling again. Demelza thinks Sam should get a hobby that isn't wringing his hands over who is playing tonsil hockey at any given moment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>But sex is evil and sinful and bad!!!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong>\u003cem> If sex is wrong, I don't want to be right!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Not your soul too! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza: \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/audrey-deal-with-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"246\">\u003c/a>\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's pad, Doc is staring into the fireplace, reminiscing about all his dead friends again. Blondie decides it's a good idea to sneak up behind him and say \"CAUGHT YOU!\" You don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that phrase might be a smidge triggering for a prisoner-of-war. Doc understandably freaks out, wishes for opium so he can drug himself into oblivion, and storms out. R.I.P. Honeymoon period. Also R.I.P. Any chance these two will have sex a third time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ever the savior, Ross brings over Doc's prison bestie to help make Doc feel better. It works, which bums Blondie out even more.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Agatha takes a minute out of her busy boozing schedule to bully Malfoy, and I'm 100% here for it. She points out that the reason everyone hated him in childhood wasn't because his grandfather was poor, but because he was ashamed that his grandfather was poor. There's a difference. Also, his face was really annoying and punchable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-47439\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/hermionepunch.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"141\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Morwenna tells Drake that Malfoy has a phobia of toads because Ross used to fill his pants with them at school (I don't condone bullying, but touché, young Ross). She warns him to stop putting them in the pond to make her laugh because a.) he'll get caught and b.) they're not that funny. Drake wants to keep doing it because ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ . \"Did we not agree? Some things are worth the risk,\" he proclaims. Love and destroying classism, sure, but relocating toads?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Geoffrey Charles is running all over Cornwall, trying to warn Drake about a trap Malfoy has set. But it's too late. Drake is already letting more toads loose because HA HA HA LOL HILARIOUS! He soon discovers that there are three armed Slytherin cronies waiting to kill him. Dude, you just got shot last week and you're courting another bullet over toads?! Early aughts rapper Eve was right: \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVk9jvSv27Y\">Love is blind\u003c/a> and it will take over your mind.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Luckily for Drake, Demelza receives Geoffrey Charles' warning and rushes to help get her stupid-in-love brother out of another pickle. Demelza throws a rock to distract the guards and runs off into the woods with Drake! A Slytherin crony shoots and misses Drake's skull! Everyone really needs to calm down! They're just toads! Slytherin crony throws a club at Drake's back! Drake falls! Slytherin crony lifts his club to crack Drake's skull! Out of nowhere, Ross knocks Slytherin crony out! Ross, Demelza, and Drake escape!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97100\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/stressing-me-out-bad-girls-club-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Malfoy is livid. He lashes out by announcing Geoffrey Charles will be sent to boarding school to have his pants filled with toads too. The circle of life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Geoffrey Charles runs to tell Drake that he's being sent away, gives him a parting gift, and also casually mentions that Morwenna is going to marry Gross Goblin. Okay, so Geoffrey Charles is either really dumb or really sneaky. Either he hasn't once, during all those throuple dates, picked up on the fact that Drake and Morwenna are into each other in a way that Sam would find sinful. Or he \u003cem>has\u003c/em> picked up on that and wants Drake all for himself. I mean, his mother \u003cem>is\u003c/em> Elizabeth. I wouldn't put it past him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next time Drake and Morwenna meet, Drake takes off his shirt to show her his new club wound because no one has taken off their shirt in a while and the\u003cem> Poldark\u003c/em> writers know what the audience wants. Drake and Morwenna make out for a while before he is like, \u003cem>Um, you forgot to tell me you're getting married to someone who's not me. What gives?!\u003c/em> She tries to explain: \u003cem>You're poor and I'm not. So sayonara love, hello toe sucking! \u003c/em>Drake tells her he'll try to make some money so she will deign to pick him over Gross Goblin. Morwenna is like, \u003cem>Yes! Stop being poor!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97105\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jetsons-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"318\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a nearby hill, Slytherin crony spots Drake in all his shirtlessness and club woundedness and runs home to report the hot gossip. Here we go...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Morwenna gets back home, Elizabeth and Malfoy basically call her a whore and tell her she'll be sent back to her mother because they don't want to be associated with such immoral behavior. Um, Elizabeth, did you forget your whole home-wrecking adventure last season? Surely, your new baby, who isn't at all related to your husband, should be enough of a reminder?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hypocrisy-meter-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"295\" height=\"289\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes the scolding in stride and agrees to go back home. Elizabeth is annoyed that Morwenna didn't sob or anything. How is she supposed to get a high from torturing people, if they don't show signs of suffering? #FirstWorldVillainProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc loudly tells Prison Bestie how he never realized how unimaginative and boring Blondie is. Of course, Blondie is nearby and hears the whole thing. Prison Bestie is like, \u003cem>Way harsh, Tai. Maybe try talking to her?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth asks Geoffrey Charles where his fancy Bible went. Cut to Slytherin crony trespassing into Drake's house and finding Geoffrey Charles' unopened gift. Drake is taken into custody for \"stealing.\" Because the Bible is worth more than 40 shillings, the punishment is most likely death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So to review:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for letting toads loose: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for accepting an only-sort-of-expensive gift: DEATH.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for mining without common sense: DEATH (R.I.P. Francis).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The price for having a mom nice enough to nurse a sick Elizabeth and Geoffrey Charles back to life: BABY DEATH (R.I.P. Julia).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary, the 1700s were the worst!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza vows to give a statement in front of the magistrate that she saw Geoffrey Charles give Drake the Bible as a present. \u003cem>Easy! Glad that's all sorted!\u003c/em> she thinks, before Ross bursts her bubble by reminding her that Malfoy is the magistrate. Demelza blows up at Ross for being too noble or whatever to accept the position when it was offered to him. Yeah, Ross, WTF!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97107\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/im-mad-at-you-family-guy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"682\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rides over to Malfoy's place. They argue over many points that, as always, boil down to who has the bigger penis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Malfoy makes Morwenna a proposition: He'll let Drake live, if she marries Gross Goblin. You know, this whole mess would come to a nice, swift conclusion if Morwenna just stabbed Malfoy to death. Just saying.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's, Doc opens up about his survivor's guilt and admits that, while high thread counts and macarons and sex all are odious to him at the moment, he hopes to begin enjoying all three again soon -- maybe even at the same time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross' farm, Sam consoles Demelza by saying there's nothing they can do about Drake's imminent execution except pray. Actually, there's a lot both of you could do, but whatever. Right then, Drake walks up, a free man! Everyone celebrates! Morwenna will be moving in soon! All's well that ends well! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not so fast. Mid jubilation, a letter comes inviting everyone to church. What they find is the end of Morwenna's wedding ceremony to Gross Goblin. Malfoy walks by a devastated Drake and co. with this smug look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1920x1076.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-1180x661.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/malfoy-fist-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Print it out and give it a good punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth (Again! Surprise!). \u003c/strong>Every villain has a good origin story, an early trauma that causes them to unleash terror. This week, we found out that Malfoy's reason was... someone put a toad in his pants one time.\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>Grow a thicker skin, dude. Geez. As for Elizabeth, everything she's done on this show has been entirely self-centered and awful. Marrying Ross' first cousin 'cause he took too long surviving the war? Repaying Demelza for nursing her back to life and sacrificing her own baby in the process by boinking her husband? Gleefully marrying off Morwenna in order to be invited to cooler parties? Get these two a one-way ticket to the ninth circle of Hell (that one is for the treacherous; I looked it up).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Nameless Prostitute\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Having her toes gobbled on by Gross Goblin must have been hard.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie. \u003c/strong>It's not her fault she's all \u003cem>Let them eat macarons!\u003c/em> Just one season ago, she thought poor people were gross and should die. She's come a long way. Give her a break, Doc! (Horace the Pug may or may not have slipped me a shilling or two to write this.)\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross.\u003c/strong> I vowed to hate him forever last season, but he's Good Samaritan-ed his way back into my heart. Now if he could come over and turn all the water that comes out of my kitchen faucet into wine, all will be officially forgiven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Drake.\u003c/strong> Shot in the back, clubbed in the back, broken up with every other day, jailed, sentenced to death, and robbed of his one true love. The material for his rap album is just piling up, and it'll all be worth it when he walks home with eight Grammys (which are worth way more than Geoffrey Charles' dumb little Bible). Hang in there, Drake! It gets better (*whispers* actually, it might not).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Good Psychology Behind NBC's 'The Good Place'",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nbc.com/the-good-place?nbc=1\">\u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, an NBC comedy just beginning its second season, starts with a quirky premise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to some celestial error, selfish and unpleasant Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) has made it into heaven: the good place. She immediately recognizes the mistake, but she intends to earn her spot (or in any case, to \"pass\") before any higher-ups are the wiser. Conveniently enough, her heavenly soul mate (played by William Jackson Harper) was a philosophy professor in his earthly life. He specialized in ethics — and he agrees to teach her how to be good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfBgT5djaQw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's not everyday that philosophy makes it to a major television network. The show flirts with Kant and utilitarianism; Sartre makes an unannounced appearance. Where other shows consult lawyers or doctors or experts in forensics, \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> has \u003ca href=\"https://blog.apaonline.org/2017/06/21/philosophy-on-tv-the-good-place/\">a philosophical advisor\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I was eager to watch the show for its engagement with philosophy in a popular medium. But, instead, I found myself gripped by the psychology — what initially struck me as very bad psychology.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You see, the idea behind Eleanor Shellstrop's private tutoring in ethics is that learning about ethical theories is enough to become a good person, or at least to learn to behave like one. But human behavior isn't so simple: There's a big gap between knowing what's right in the abstract and doing the right thing when it requires a very concrete sacrifice in the moment. (Knowing about nutrition, for example, is no guarantee that you'll choose the kale salad over the pizza.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In fact, studies by University of California-Riverside philosopher \u003ca href=\"http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~eschwitz/\">Eric Schwitzgebel\u003c/a> and his colleagues reveal that philosophers who specialize in ethics and moral philosophy are no more likely to be good than other kinds of philosophers or academics. Their studies examine a variety of good and bad behaviors, from voting in public elections, calling one's mother, and charitable donations to littering, attending conferences without paying registration fees, and joining the Nazi party in 1930s Germany.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an \u003ca href=\"https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-their-mothers\">article\u003c/a> discussing his research, Schwitzgebel summarizes the findings like this: \"Never once have we found ethicists as a whole behaving better than our comparison groups of other professors, by any of our main planned measures.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So there's not much reason to think that the ethics professor in \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> is unusually good just because he studied ethics, nor that teaching Eleanor ethics will teach her how to be good. That's what had me raising an eyebrow as season one of \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> began. But long before the season's \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/09/the-good-place-review-season-2/540336/\">surprising finale\u003c/a>, I realized that the show's creators were more subtle than their stated premise might suggest. Eleanor \u003cem>was\u003c/em> learning to become a better person, but it wasn't because the ethics instruction was doing the trick. Instead, her behavior changed as she developed new relationships and became part of a community with different norms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that's actually pretty good psychology.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYfYlQ5bxtw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A lot of \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/sipr.12022\">evidence\u003c/a> suggests that \u003ca href=\"https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/how-norms-change\">norms are crucial to behavior\u003c/a>. As one classic example, \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.58.6.1015\">people will litter more in an environment that is already littered\u003c/a> and that, thereby, conveys that littering is the norm. Elizabeth Levy Paluck, recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.princeton.edu/news/2017/10/11/social-psychologist-paluck-awarded-macarthur-fellowship\">winner of a MacArthur \"genius\" award\u003c/a> and professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton University, has shown in a variety of contexts how changing the perception of some norm can affect people's behavior. For instance, one large-scale \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.7910/DVN/29199\">study\u003c/a> across 56 schools found that student conflict could be reduced by having students with key roles in their social networks model and endorse a public stance against conflict, thereby shifting perceived norms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So by the end of season one my raised eyebrow came down to meet its mate, and I silently applauded the show's creators and writers. For a light and amusing sitcom, \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> does a pretty good job with philosophy, and a pretty good job with human psychology, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Tania Lombrozo is a psychology professor at the University of California, Berkeley. She writes about psychology, cognitive science and philosophy, with occasional forays into parenting and veganism. You can keep up with more of what she is thinking on Twitter: \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/tanialombrozo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@TaniaLombrozo\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=The+Good+Psychology+In+%27The+Good+Place%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nbc.com/the-good-place?nbc=1\">\u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, an NBC comedy just beginning its second season, starts with a quirky premise.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Due to some celestial error, selfish and unpleasant Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) has made it into heaven: the good place. She immediately recognizes the mistake, but she intends to earn her spot (or in any case, to \"pass\") before any higher-ups are the wiser. Conveniently enough, her heavenly soul mate (played by William Jackson Harper) was a philosophy professor in his earthly life. He specialized in ethics — and he agrees to teach her how to be good.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/RfBgT5djaQw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/RfBgT5djaQw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>It's not everyday that philosophy makes it to a major television network. The show flirts with Kant and utilitarianism; Sartre makes an unannounced appearance. Where other shows consult lawyers or doctors or experts in forensics, \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> has \u003ca href=\"https://blog.apaonline.org/2017/06/21/philosophy-on-tv-the-good-place/\">a philosophical advisor\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I was eager to watch the show for its engagement with philosophy in a popular medium. But, instead, I found myself gripped by the psychology — what initially struck me as very bad psychology.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You see, the idea behind Eleanor Shellstrop's private tutoring in ethics is that learning about ethical theories is enough to become a good person, or at least to learn to behave like one. But human behavior isn't so simple: There's a big gap between knowing what's right in the abstract and doing the right thing when it requires a very concrete sacrifice in the moment. (Knowing about nutrition, for example, is no guarantee that you'll choose the kale salad over the pizza.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In fact, studies by University of California-Riverside philosopher \u003ca href=\"http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~eschwitz/\">Eric Schwitzgebel\u003c/a> and his colleagues reveal that philosophers who specialize in ethics and moral philosophy are no more likely to be good than other kinds of philosophers or academics. Their studies examine a variety of good and bad behaviors, from voting in public elections, calling one's mother, and charitable donations to littering, attending conferences without paying registration fees, and joining the Nazi party in 1930s Germany.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In an \u003ca href=\"https://aeon.co/essays/how-often-do-ethics-professors-call-their-mothers\">article\u003c/a> discussing his research, Schwitzgebel summarizes the findings like this: \"Never once have we found ethicists as a whole behaving better than our comparison groups of other professors, by any of our main planned measures.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So there's not much reason to think that the ethics professor in \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> is unusually good just because he studied ethics, nor that teaching Eleanor ethics will teach her how to be good. That's what had me raising an eyebrow as season one of \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> began. But long before the season's \u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/09/the-good-place-review-season-2/540336/\">surprising finale\u003c/a>, I realized that the show's creators were more subtle than their stated premise might suggest. Eleanor \u003cem>was\u003c/em> learning to become a better person, but it wasn't because the ethics instruction was doing the trick. Instead, her behavior changed as she developed new relationships and became part of a community with different norms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And that's actually pretty good psychology.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/rYfYlQ5bxtw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/rYfYlQ5bxtw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>A lot of \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/sipr.12022\">evidence\u003c/a> suggests that \u003ca href=\"https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/how-norms-change\">norms are crucial to behavior\u003c/a>. As one classic example, \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.58.6.1015\">people will litter more in an environment that is already littered\u003c/a> and that, thereby, conveys that littering is the norm. Elizabeth Levy Paluck, recent \u003ca href=\"https://www.princeton.edu/news/2017/10/11/social-psychologist-paluck-awarded-macarthur-fellowship\">winner of a MacArthur \"genius\" award\u003c/a> and professor of psychology and public affairs at Princeton University, has shown in a variety of contexts how changing the perception of some norm can affect people's behavior. For instance, one large-scale \u003ca href=\"http://dx.doi.org/10.7910/DVN/29199\">study\u003c/a> across 56 schools found that student conflict could be reduced by having students with key roles in their social networks model and endorse a public stance against conflict, thereby shifting perceived norms.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So by the end of season one my raised eyebrow came down to meet its mate, and I silently applauded the show's creators and writers. For a light and amusing sitcom, \u003cem>The Good Place\u003c/em> does a pretty good job with philosophy, and a pretty good job with human psychology, too.\u003c/p>\n\u003chr>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Tania Lombrozo is a psychology professor at the University of California, Berkeley. She writes about psychology, cognitive science and philosophy, with occasional forays into parenting and veganism. You can keep up with more of what she is thinking on Twitter: \u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/tanialombrozo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">@TaniaLombrozo\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=The+Good+Psychology+In+%27The+Good+Place%27&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>For the past three weeks, your most beloved TV shows duked it out in a bracket smackdown to win an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were shocking upsets (like when \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> lost by less than one percentage point to \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/phoebe-shocked-gif-friends.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96984\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/phoebe-shocked-gif-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mighty blowouts (like when \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> obliterated both \u003cem>Anne of Green Gables\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> with 76% and 80% of the vote, respectively).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/downton-countess-gif-happy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/downton-countess-gif-happy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"545\" height=\"363\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the smoke cleared, it was down to \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> versus \u003cem>Sherlock\u003c/em>. Considering how much \u003cem>Downton \u003c/em>has slayed in this series, I thought it was obvious we would all be watching 24 hours of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/04/the-best-quotes-from-downton-abbeys-dowager-countess-queen-of-shade/\">Countess quips\u003c/a> this Sunday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/world-without-books-gifs-tv_0.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/world-without-books-gifs-tv_0.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you're going to have to put away your Sybil-inspired harem pants...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/harem-pants-downton-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96982\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/harem-pants-downton-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"216\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... because in a last-minute surprise comeback, \u003cem>Sherlock\u003c/em> pulled out the win by a mere 6 votes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sherlock-shocked-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sherlock-shocked-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"323\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=\"9850349\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to tune into KQED PLUS this Sunday, October 29, 2017, for a full day of cheekbones and upturned collars!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our Drama World Series might be over, but that doesn't mean the fun has to stop. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>For the past three weeks, your most beloved TV shows duked it out in a bracket smackdown to win an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There were shocking upsets (like when \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> lost by less than one percentage point to \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/phoebe-shocked-gif-friends.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96984\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/phoebe-shocked-gif-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mighty blowouts (like when \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> obliterated both \u003cem>Anne of Green Gables\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> with 76% and 80% of the vote, respectively).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/downton-countess-gif-happy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96985\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/downton-countess-gif-happy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"545\" height=\"363\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the smoke cleared, it was down to \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> versus \u003cem>Sherlock\u003c/em>. Considering how much \u003cem>Downton \u003c/em>has slayed in this series, I thought it was obvious we would all be watching 24 hours of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/04/the-best-quotes-from-downton-abbeys-dowager-countess-queen-of-shade/\">Countess quips\u003c/a> this Sunday.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/world-without-books-gifs-tv_0.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/world-without-books-gifs-tv_0.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"359\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But you're going to have to put away your Sybil-inspired harem pants...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/harem-pants-downton-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96982\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/harem-pants-downton-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"216\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... because in a last-minute surprise comeback, \u003cem>Sherlock\u003c/em> pulled out the win by a mere 6 votes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sherlock-shocked-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96983\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sherlock-shocked-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"323\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=\"9850349\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to tune into KQED PLUS this Sunday, October 29, 2017, for a full day of cheekbones and upturned collars!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our Drama World Series might be over, but that doesn't mean the fun has to stop. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza casually delivered her own baby, Morwenna and Drake finally made out, and Doc had to eat a rat on Christmas day. Will Demelza put her newfound birthing talent to use and become an OB-GYN? Will Morwenna and Drake come down with mono? Will the next rat Doc comes across teach him how to cook up a mean \u003ca href=\"https://projectedrealities.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/ratatouillec.jpg\">ratatouille\u003c/a>? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not a whole lot has changed since last week. Doc is still hanging out with corpses, soon-to-be corpses, and \u003ca href=\"http://anamericantail.wikia.com/wiki/Fievel_Mousekewitz\">Fievel Mousekewitz\u003c/a>’s relatives. Blondie is still in denial about all of that. Ross is still plotting to do something that has a 98.2% chance of getting him killed (mainly going back to France to reprise his role as the world's worst spy). And Demelza is still so tired of everyone's BS. Same, Demelza. Same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Valentine is diagnosed with rickets because\u003ca href=\"https://spoonuniversity.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/236/2016/08/Screen-Shot-2016-08-09-at-4.06.25-PM.png\"> those delicious Flintstone vitamins\u003c/a> haven't been invented yet. Malfoy is beside himself, not out of concern for his (*cough* Ross') baby, but because he doesn't want to be associated with a \"deformed\" child. Stay classy, spawn of Satan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, the guards have taken to rolling dice to determine whether a prisoner with blue eyes or brown eyes dies next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear green-eyed prisoners:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/shantay-you-stay-rupaul-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96929\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/shantay-you-stay-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Morwenna slides into second base with Drake a few more times. But Agatha's tarot cards dampen the mood by pointing out that, once Malfoy finds out, he will surely find a way to destroy Drake's life. Because breaking up with a It's-not-you-it's-me text isn't a thing yet, Morwenna has to crush Drake's heart in person. Drake immediately walks to the nearest cliff to jump to his death, but stops short when he receives the advice I telepathically send him from the future: \u003cem>Become an unlikely rapper who only writes about being sad over girls, à la your 21st-century namesake!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saddest-boy-canada-drake-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96930\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saddest-boy-canada-drake-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what has the power to cheer Drake up (and probably could cure Valentine's rickets too)? A Horace the Pug sighting!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96935\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1020x571.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1020x571.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1920x1075.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I sure feel better. Don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of following my advice and writing a \"Hotline Bling\"-esque breakup jam, Drake decides to secretly join the cast of \u003cem>Saving Private Doc\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96977\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1020x1257.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"789\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1020x1257.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-160x197.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-800x985.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-768x946.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1180x1454.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-960x1183.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-240x296.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-375x462.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-520x641.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2.jpg 1186w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dying nobly abroad is one way to get an ex's attention, but I still prefer the maudlin rapping.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite there being a full-blown war going on, Ross and co. waltz right into France without any problems. After going over the prison break plan, Ross and his buddies quickly realize how ill-conceived and stupid the whole idea is. But they decide to just do it anyway because \u003ca href=\"https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=YOLO\">YOLO\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yolo-drake-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96937\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yolo-drake-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They head-butt and punch their way into the POW camp and find Doc pretty easily. But Doc wants to stay and cauterize more festering wounds with a spoon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-come-on-tim-gunn-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-come-on-tim-gunn-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Ross tries to convince Doc to give Mother Teresa-ing a rest and get the hell up, some little pipsqueak alerts the entire camp about the escape attempt. Ross and Drake drop-kick a few guards! One of Ross' friends uses a bomb to blow open a gate while laughing! Everyone takes turns casually murdering guards!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in England, Malfoy and Elizabeth run around a fancy party bad-mouthing Ross and his attempt to free Doc to anyone who will listen. Trouble is there's no one who will. Everyone loves Ross and hopes \u003cem>Saving Private Doc \u003c/em>wins Best Picture. IN YOUR FACE, JERKS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96943\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, things have taken a turn. One of Ross' friends gets shot. I don't know his name, so only low-to-medium care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-no-phoebe-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-no-phoebe-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake tries to drag Captain No Name to safety, and also gets shot. I very much care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/noooo-phoebe-friends-gif-reaction.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96944\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/noooo-phoebe-friends-gif-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and friends make it to a hiding place, but it's too late for Captain. He died doing what he loved: mainly blowing sh-t up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Super_Mario_Bros_2_NES_30.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Super_Mario_Bros_2_NES_30.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The not-so-merry band of misfits manage to make it to their getaway rowboat, but Drake isn't doing well. Ross has a waking nightmare of how pissed Demelza will be, if he lets her brother die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/grind-teeth-marge-mad-pissed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96961\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/grind-teeth-marge-mad-pissed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we saw last week, Demelza can very casually bring life into this world; she can casually snuff life out of it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dont-mess-with-me-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96962\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dont-mess-with-me-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"324\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully for Ross, Demelza won't have to kill anyone today. Drake pulls through and everyone makes it back home. Sam, who stayed home worrying about how sinful kissing is, immediately takes the credit: \"See, brother, my prayers did work!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/no-britney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/no-britney-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy receives word that Ross succeeded in freeing Doc, and helped 20 others escape, including Doc's prison bestie, who happens to be the nephew of some rich person Malfoy desperately wants to impress. IN YOUR FACE AGAIN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96943\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, everyone gathers to hear Demelza's rendition of Mariah Carey's \"One Sweet Day,\" in honor of Captain's memory. It goes to #1 and stays there for 16 weeks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-1020x913.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-1020x913.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-160x143.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-800x716.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-768x687.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-960x859.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-240x215.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-375x336.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-520x465.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey.jpg 1144w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXxRyNvTPr8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>I hope the random puddle that murdered Francis takes care of these two sometime soon. Maybe I'll get Sam to pray on it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Sure, he didn't do much this episode, but I just like rewarding him, okay?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake. \u003c/strong>He survived heartbreak \u003cem>and\u003c/em> being shot in the back. So much material for his debut album!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>His directorial debut, \u003cem>Saving Private Doc\u003c/em>, had everything a Best Picture winner needs: adventure, emotion, drop-kicking. Brava! Two thumbs up!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Captain.\u003c/strong> Sorry he had to die. Also sorry I was always too distracted by Agatha's drunken antics, Horace's cuteness, and shirtless river bathing to ever learn his name. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "If you mixed 'Saving Private Ryan' with a Drake breakup song, you'd get this episode.",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza casually delivered her own baby, Morwenna and Drake finally made out, and Doc had to eat a rat on Christmas day. Will Demelza put her newfound birthing talent to use and become an OB-GYN? Will Morwenna and Drake come down with mono? Will the next rat Doc comes across teach him how to cook up a mean \u003ca href=\"https://projectedrealities.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/ratatouillec.jpg\">ratatouille\u003c/a>? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Not a whole lot has changed since last week. Doc is still hanging out with corpses, soon-to-be corpses, and \u003ca href=\"http://anamericantail.wikia.com/wiki/Fievel_Mousekewitz\">Fievel Mousekewitz\u003c/a>’s relatives. Blondie is still in denial about all of that. Ross is still plotting to do something that has a 98.2% chance of getting him killed (mainly going back to France to reprise his role as the world's worst spy). And Demelza is still so tired of everyone's BS. Same, Demelza. Same.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Valentine is diagnosed with rickets because\u003ca href=\"https://spoonuniversity.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/236/2016/08/Screen-Shot-2016-08-09-at-4.06.25-PM.png\"> those delicious Flintstone vitamins\u003c/a> haven't been invented yet. Malfoy is beside himself, not out of concern for his (*cough* Ross') baby, but because he doesn't want to be associated with a \"deformed\" child. Stay classy, spawn of Satan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, the guards have taken to rolling dice to determine whether a prisoner with blue eyes or brown eyes dies next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear green-eyed prisoners:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/shantay-you-stay-rupaul-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96929\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/shantay-you-stay-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Morwenna slides into second base with Drake a few more times. But Agatha's tarot cards dampen the mood by pointing out that, once Malfoy finds out, he will surely find a way to destroy Drake's life. Because breaking up with a It's-not-you-it's-me text isn't a thing yet, Morwenna has to crush Drake's heart in person. Drake immediately walks to the nearest cliff to jump to his death, but stops short when he receives the advice I telepathically send him from the future: \u003cem>Become an unlikely rapper who only writes about being sad over girls, à la your 21st-century namesake!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saddest-boy-canada-drake-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96930\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saddest-boy-canada-drake-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know what has the power to cheer Drake up (and probably could cure Valentine's rickets too)? A Horace the Pug sighting!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96935\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1020x571.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1020x571.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-800x448.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-768x430.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1920x1075.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-1180x660.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-960x537.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-the-pug-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I sure feel better. Don't you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of following my advice and writing a \"Hotline Bling\"-esque breakup jam, Drake decides to secretly join the cast of \u003cem>Saving Private Doc\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96977\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1020x1257.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"789\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1020x1257.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-160x197.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-800x985.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-768x946.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-1180x1454.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-960x1183.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-240x296.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-375x462.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2-520x641.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/saving-private-doc-poldark-2.jpg 1186w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dying nobly abroad is one way to get an ex's attention, but I still prefer the maudlin rapping.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Despite there being a full-blown war going on, Ross and co. waltz right into France without any problems. After going over the prison break plan, Ross and his buddies quickly realize how ill-conceived and stupid the whole idea is. But they decide to just do it anyway because \u003ca href=\"https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=YOLO\">YOLO\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yolo-drake-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96937\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yolo-drake-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"174\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They head-butt and punch their way into the POW camp and find Doc pretty easily. But Doc wants to stay and cauterize more festering wounds with a spoon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-come-on-tim-gunn-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96938\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-come-on-tim-gunn-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Ross tries to convince Doc to give Mother Teresa-ing a rest and get the hell up, some little pipsqueak alerts the entire camp about the escape attempt. Ross and Drake drop-kick a few guards! One of Ross' friends uses a bomb to blow open a gate while laughing! Everyone takes turns casually murdering guards!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in England, Malfoy and Elizabeth run around a fancy party bad-mouthing Ross and his attempt to free Doc to anyone who will listen. Trouble is there's no one who will. Everyone loves Ross and hopes \u003cem>Saving Private Doc \u003c/em>wins Best Picture. IN YOUR FACE, JERKS!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96943\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, things have taken a turn. One of Ross' friends gets shot. I don't know his name, so only low-to-medium care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-no-phoebe-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96945\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oh-no-phoebe-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake tries to drag Captain No Name to safety, and also gets shot. I very much care.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/noooo-phoebe-friends-gif-reaction.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96944\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/noooo-phoebe-friends-gif-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and friends make it to a hiding place, but it's too late for Captain. He died doing what he loved: mainly blowing sh-t up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Super_Mario_Bros_2_NES_30.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96974\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Super_Mario_Bros_2_NES_30.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The not-so-merry band of misfits manage to make it to their getaway rowboat, but Drake isn't doing well. Ross has a waking nightmare of how pissed Demelza will be, if he lets her brother die.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/grind-teeth-marge-mad-pissed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96961\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/grind-teeth-marge-mad-pissed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As we saw last week, Demelza can very casually bring life into this world; she can casually snuff life out of it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dont-mess-with-me-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96962\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dont-mess-with-me-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"324\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully for Ross, Demelza won't have to kill anyone today. Drake pulls through and everyone makes it back home. Sam, who stayed home worrying about how sinful kissing is, immediately takes the credit: \"See, brother, my prayers did work!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/no-britney-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/no-britney-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"223\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy receives word that Ross succeeded in freeing Doc, and helped 20 others escape, including Doc's prison bestie, who happens to be the nephew of some rich person Malfoy desperately wants to impress. IN YOUR FACE AGAIN!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96943\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/in-your-face-water-balloon-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the mine, everyone gathers to hear Demelza's rendition of Mariah Carey's \"One Sweet Day,\" in honor of Captain's memory. It goes to #1 and stays there for 16 weeks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96973\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-1020x913.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"573\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-1020x913.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-160x143.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-800x716.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-768x687.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-960x859.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-240x215.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-375x336.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey-520x465.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/one-sweet-day-demelza-carey.jpg 1144w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/UXxRyNvTPr8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/UXxRyNvTPr8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>I hope the random puddle that murdered Francis takes care of these two sometime soon. Maybe I'll get Sam to pray on it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Sure, he didn't do much this episode, but I just like rewarding him, okay?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake. \u003c/strong>He survived heartbreak \u003cem>and\u003c/em> being shot in the back. So much material for his debut album!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>His directorial debut, \u003cem>Saving Private Doc\u003c/em>, had everything a Best Picture winner needs: adventure, emotion, drop-kicking. Brava! Two thumbs up!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Captain.\u003c/strong> Sorry he had to die. Also sorry I was always too distracted by Agatha's drunken antics, Horace's cuteness, and shirtless river bathing to ever learn his name. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "If You Think 'American Vandal' is Too Silly to Watch, Think Again",
"title": "If You Think 'American Vandal' is Too Silly to Watch, Think Again",
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"content": "\u003cp>There is a moment about fifteen minutes into the premiere of the eight-episode Netflix series \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6877772/?ref_=nv_sr_1\">American Vanda\u003c/a>l\u003c/em> when I knew it had its hooks in me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a scene in which two student documentary filmmakers — Peter (Tyler Alvarez) and Sam (Griffin Gluck) — are examining evidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're comparing photographs. One set of photos captures the 27 penises that were spray-painted on 27 cars in their high school's faculty parking lot (the crime that's the subject of their documentary). The other set of photos are examples of the penises that chief suspect Dylan (Jimmy Tatro, turning mouth-breathing into high art) is known for scrawling, every morning, on the whiteboard in the classroom of a hated teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is much discussion, assisted by a litany of narrative techniques we've seen in true crime documentaries like \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4299972/?ref_=nv_sr_1\">\u003cem>The Jinx \u003c/em>\u003c/a>and \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5189670/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\">\u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/a> — slow pans and zooms, animation, the spare and ominous plunking of low notes on some unseen Piano of Doom — about the stylistic and, um, anatomical differences between the car-graffiti penises and the school-whiteboard penises. Peter and Sam suggest that said differences may prove that Dylan is not the culprit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Okay well that's \u003cem>hardly \u003c/em>exculpatory,\" I found myself thinking, \"they're rendered in different media, on a different scale, and anyway it's been established that the spray-painter hit all the cars in only a few minutes, meaning that each penis was rushed, and that could easily account for such --\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was it. That was when I knew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The whole joke of the show, of course, is how deadpan, how gravid, how rigorously \u003cem>precise \u003c/em>it remains as, episode by episode, it documents the investigation of an act of phallus-themed vandalism. That's the goof: All that effort, all that sober attention, all those technical resources that we've grown used to seeing employed to examine a heinous act of violence instead devoted to something so small, so dumb, so juvenile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3tkFOtM6go\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it took mere minutes — minutes! — for me to manage to \u003cem>completely forget all that\u003c/em>, and become entirely enmeshed, and stay up until 3:00 a.m. to finish all eight episodes. I desperately needed to find out the answer to the show's central mystery, which if there's any damn justice in the world, will join the ranks of such zeitgeist-defining questions as \"Who Shot J.R.?,\" Where's the Beef?\" and \"Who Put the Bop In The Bop Shoo Bop?\" namely:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Who Did the D***s?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The day after I'd glutted myself on the show, I recorded an episode of Pop Culture Happy Hour on which I recommended it to listeners, noting that it was a lot less broad than its premise — and its trailer — would suggest. I talked about its devotion to the familiar trappings of serialized long-form true crime narrative, and how that devotion — and the relative absence of clearly defined, \u003cem>This Is Spinal Tap\u003c/em>-esque \"gags,\" meant it didn't feel anything like what we've come to call a mockumentary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I've since heard from several people who wondered just exactly what it was that I was smoking. How could I not see how hilarious it is? How brilliantly funny? How sharp its satire?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To them I say: It doesn't \u003cem>feel \u003c/em>like satire, to me. It doesn't possess the kind of ruthless, lacerating, elbow-in-the-ribs sensibility that define the satiric impulse. Its humor isn't arch or crisp or brittle. And what it does to shows like \u003cem>Making a Murder\u003c/em> isn't anything so simple as lampoon them — it \u003cem>reveres \u003c/em>them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Consider the sequence, in episode 2, in which a possible dockside tryst is recreated like it's \u003cem>CSI: Camp Miniwanka\u003c/em>: Sight lines! Witness statements! A CGI mini wanka!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or the scene in episode 5 that meticulously traces the movement of a can of red spray paint through a high school party, using images from camera phones and social media feeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could have laughed at the absurdity of it all. Probably should have. Instead, I leaned closer to the television, frowning, attempting to piece together the narrative, weighing theories, evaluating suspects.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fdg4xpQZCg\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's what \u003cem>American Vandal\u003c/em>'s producers know very well: How thoroughly we've internalized the way that true crime series are presented. The techniques they use with such reverence and restraint have become the way we do True Crime now: a messy life-event gets a narrative structure imposed over it which starts doling out the revelations slowly, steering us down dead-ends, doubling back to review, and re-review, and re-re-review, some piece of evidence whose inviolate truth we've taken for granted. It's the steady, implacable rhythm of this kind of storytelling that works on us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out? It doesn't matter if that infrastructure's built around the grisly extinguishing of a human life or a defaced Prius.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, none of it would work if we didn't care about that central mystery, and the reason we do care is how meticulously they've built the high school setting. Imagine \u003cem>10 Things I Hate About You\u003c/em> directed by Errol Morris: beneath all the camera moves and moody music, the students and faculty seem familiar, believable, and rigorously real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It can't be overstated how much of this is down to the performances. Playing \"real people\" of the kind we're used to seeing on reality television — or in true crime documentaries — is one of the toughest acting challenges there is. To work, it's got to vibrate at a different frequency than the one we're used to seeing; it's got to be stripped of the thin layer of artificiality we unthinkingly accept in scripted work. When you aim a camera at non-actors, the result is ... messy. Their self-consciousness colors how they hold themselves, how they talk. In \u003cem>American Vandal,\u003c/em> actors who've been trained to dispense with self-consciousness have to remember what it feels like, and reintroduce it to their every move.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So we grow to care for these high school kids. We get drawn into their conflicts and secrets, we worry over their fates. Dylan's fate, in particular.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I went into \u003cem>American Vandal\u003c/em>'s premiere expecting to laugh; I didn't, much. But by the time I got to the sneaks-up-on-you-poignant closing scene of its finale, I was moved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27American+Vandal%27%3A+True+Crime+That%27s+Fake%2C+But+No+Less+True&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>There is a moment about fifteen minutes into the premiere of the eight-episode Netflix series \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6877772/?ref_=nv_sr_1\">American Vanda\u003c/a>l\u003c/em> when I knew it had its hooks in me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's a scene in which two student documentary filmmakers — Peter (Tyler Alvarez) and Sam (Griffin Gluck) — are examining evidence.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're comparing photographs. One set of photos captures the 27 penises that were spray-painted on 27 cars in their high school's faculty parking lot (the crime that's the subject of their documentary). The other set of photos are examples of the penises that chief suspect Dylan (Jimmy Tatro, turning mouth-breathing into high art) is known for scrawling, every morning, on the whiteboard in the classroom of a hated teacher.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is much discussion, assisted by a litany of narrative techniques we've seen in true crime documentaries like \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4299972/?ref_=nv_sr_1\">\u003cem>The Jinx \u003c/em>\u003c/a>and \u003ca href=\"http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5189670/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1\">\u003cem>Making a Murderer\u003c/em>\u003c/a> — slow pans and zooms, animation, the spare and ominous plunking of low notes on some unseen Piano of Doom — about the stylistic and, um, anatomical differences between the car-graffiti penises and the school-whiteboard penises. Peter and Sam suggest that said differences may prove that Dylan is not the culprit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Okay well that's \u003cem>hardly \u003c/em>exculpatory,\" I found myself thinking, \"they're rendered in different media, on a different scale, and anyway it's been established that the spray-painter hit all the cars in only a few minutes, meaning that each penis was rushed, and that could easily account for such --\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That was it. That was when I knew.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The whole joke of the show, of course, is how deadpan, how gravid, how rigorously \u003cem>precise \u003c/em>it remains as, episode by episode, it documents the investigation of an act of phallus-themed vandalism. That's the goof: All that effort, all that sober attention, all those technical resources that we've grown used to seeing employed to examine a heinous act of violence instead devoted to something so small, so dumb, so juvenile.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/m3tkFOtM6go'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/m3tkFOtM6go'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>And it took mere minutes — minutes! — for me to manage to \u003cem>completely forget all that\u003c/em>, and become entirely enmeshed, and stay up until 3:00 a.m. to finish all eight episodes. I desperately needed to find out the answer to the show's central mystery, which if there's any damn justice in the world, will join the ranks of such zeitgeist-defining questions as \"Who Shot J.R.?,\" Where's the Beef?\" and \"Who Put the Bop In The Bop Shoo Bop?\" namely:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Who Did the D***s?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The day after I'd glutted myself on the show, I recorded an episode of Pop Culture Happy Hour on which I recommended it to listeners, noting that it was a lot less broad than its premise — and its trailer — would suggest. I talked about its devotion to the familiar trappings of serialized long-form true crime narrative, and how that devotion — and the relative absence of clearly defined, \u003cem>This Is Spinal Tap\u003c/em>-esque \"gags,\" meant it didn't feel anything like what we've come to call a mockumentary.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I've since heard from several people who wondered just exactly what it was that I was smoking. How could I not see how hilarious it is? How brilliantly funny? How sharp its satire?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To them I say: It doesn't \u003cem>feel \u003c/em>like satire, to me. It doesn't possess the kind of ruthless, lacerating, elbow-in-the-ribs sensibility that define the satiric impulse. Its humor isn't arch or crisp or brittle. And what it does to shows like \u003cem>Making a Murder\u003c/em> isn't anything so simple as lampoon them — it \u003cem>reveres \u003c/em>them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Consider the sequence, in episode 2, in which a possible dockside tryst is recreated like it's \u003cem>CSI: Camp Miniwanka\u003c/em>: Sight lines! Witness statements! A CGI mini wanka!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Or the scene in episode 5 that meticulously traces the movement of a can of red spray paint through a high school party, using images from camera phones and social media feeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could have laughed at the absurdity of it all. Probably should have. Instead, I leaned closer to the television, frowning, attempting to piece together the narrative, weighing theories, evaluating suspects.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/8Fdg4xpQZCg'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/8Fdg4xpQZCg'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>That's what \u003cem>American Vandal\u003c/em>'s producers know very well: How thoroughly we've internalized the way that true crime series are presented. The techniques they use with such reverence and restraint have become the way we do True Crime now: a messy life-event gets a narrative structure imposed over it which starts doling out the revelations slowly, steering us down dead-ends, doubling back to review, and re-review, and re-re-review, some piece of evidence whose inviolate truth we've taken for granted. It's the steady, implacable rhythm of this kind of storytelling that works on us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Turns out? It doesn't matter if that infrastructure's built around the grisly extinguishing of a human life or a defaced Prius.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Of course, none of it would work if we didn't care about that central mystery, and the reason we do care is how meticulously they've built the high school setting. Imagine \u003cem>10 Things I Hate About You\u003c/em> directed by Errol Morris: beneath all the camera moves and moody music, the students and faculty seem familiar, believable, and rigorously real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It can't be overstated how much of this is down to the performances. Playing \"real people\" of the kind we're used to seeing on reality television — or in true crime documentaries — is one of the toughest acting challenges there is. To work, it's got to vibrate at a different frequency than the one we're used to seeing; it's got to be stripped of the thin layer of artificiality we unthinkingly accept in scripted work. When you aim a camera at non-actors, the result is ... messy. Their self-consciousness colors how they hold themselves, how they talk. In \u003cem>American Vandal,\u003c/em> actors who've been trained to dispense with self-consciousness have to remember what it feels like, and reintroduce it to their every move.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So we grow to care for these high school kids. We get drawn into their conflicts and secrets, we worry over their fates. Dylan's fate, in particular.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I went into \u003cem>American Vandal\u003c/em>'s premiere expecting to laugh; I didn't, much. But by the time I got to the sneaks-up-on-you-poignant closing scene of its finale, I was moved.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27American+Vandal%27%3A+True+Crime+That%27s+Fake%2C+But+No+Less+True&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The New 'Dynasty' Pulls Hair, But it Needs to Yank Wigs",
"title": "The New 'Dynasty' Pulls Hair, But it Needs to Yank Wigs",
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"content": "\u003cp>Whether you will enjoy a rebooted \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>depends on just how much of a gold-dusted plate of cheese curds you're ready for it to be — and need it to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in 1981, ABC created the original \u003cem>Dynasty\u003c/em>, and it evolved into a huge hit, rotating around Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) and the two women in his life: his noble wife Krystle (Linda Evans) and his ex-wife Alexis (Joan Collins). Along with \u003cem>Dallas\u003c/em> and some others — and not a few miniseries, some based on books by Joan Collins' sister Jackie — \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>was part of a boom in soapy prime-time material full of diamonds, sex and board meetings. In those days, the age cohort for soaps was ancient by the standards of what is now the CW: Forsythe was over 60 when \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>premiered, Evans was nearly 40, and Collins was nearly 50.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFVWb_OC7xE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CW is not making a show like that, and you can take that to the bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blake is still the patriarch, and in a clever casting decision that marches Generation X onward toward the grave (we're going, we're going), he is played by Grant Show, who was a young hottie on \u003cem>Melrose Place \u003c/em>during a differently shaped nighttime-soap boom in the 1990s. Blake's daughter, Fallon (Elizabeth Gillies), still feels overlooked in the family business, just as she did back in the 1980s, but Krystle's role in the story is now occupied by Cristal Flores (Nathalie Kelley), a 30ish woman working at his company to whom Blake is engaged.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you're wondering how long it takes for Fallon and Cristal to pull each other's hair, the answer is \"less than 30 minutes of screen time.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are other updates: It's not that big a deal that Steven Carrington is gay now, and the Colbys, who act as foils to the Carringtons, are now a black family headed by Jeff (Sam Adegoke), a tech guru. In the pilot, Fallon is messing around with the chauffeur, Steven is dillydallying with someone he meets who will \u003cem>obviously \u003c/em>turn out to be related to someone he knows, Blake and Cristal are getting busy on Blake's desk, and — as mentioned — Cristal and Fallon are pulling each other's hair.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjp5b6pvdvw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The CW makes a very particular kind of soap — for its young(er) audience. If a lot of the new \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>feels like the old \u003cem>Gossip Girl\u003c/em>, that makes some sense, because \u003cem>Gossip Girl \u003c/em>creators Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage created it, along with Sallie Patrick, who worked on ABC's \u003cem>Revenge\u003c/em>. So this doesn't quite feel like the broad, luscious \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>of the past; it feels a little more like it's supposed to be cool. What it could use, to be frank, is a little more of the \u003cem>Revenge \u003c/em>DNA. Much of the time, that was a show that was joyfully wackadoo in a way that \u003cem>Dynasty\u003c/em>, despite that obligatory hair-pulling scene, isn't quite yet. It could be — Gillies, in particular, has the corny verve to pull off something a little broader. But Kelley still seems a bit overmatched by the idea of Cristal really throwing down with Fallon, and it always takes a while for anyone to care about the boardroom shenanigans that are already underway by the end of the pilot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it comes to escapism, you could do worse than a trashy grown-up soap that will eventually \u003cem>have \u003c/em>to introduce Alexis (the original show didn't until the second season), who will make things even more trashy in a harmless, drape-the-world-in-diamonds kind of way. Like a lot of shows about the very rich, \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>is less a salute to their excesses and more an imagining of their misery and emptiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But what every nighttime soap needs is something that we learned from something that happened on \u003cem>Melrose Place. \u003c/em>It must contain at least the potential for a character (like Marcia Cross' Kimberly on \u003cem>Melrose\u003c/em>) to return from apparent death, make it through an entire episode seeming relatively normal, and then, in the bathroom, yank a wig off to reveal that she's bald and she has a huge scar and she probably isn't OK at all — OH NOOOOO! Seriously: That is the nighttime soap business. It's not supposed to be moving; it's supposed to be \u003cem>big\u003c/em>. And while it is fun, to really land, \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>needs to be a little bigger. A little broader. A little more off the wall. We must believe you will yank some wigs off some scalps when people come back from the dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Come to think of it, it needs Alexis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=The+New+%27Dynasty%27+Pulls+Hair%2C+But+It+Needs+To+Yank+Wigs&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Whether you will enjoy a rebooted \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>depends on just how much of a gold-dusted plate of cheese curds you're ready for it to be — and need it to be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in 1981, ABC created the original \u003cem>Dynasty\u003c/em>, and it evolved into a huge hit, rotating around Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) and the two women in his life: his noble wife Krystle (Linda Evans) and his ex-wife Alexis (Joan Collins). Along with \u003cem>Dallas\u003c/em> and some others — and not a few miniseries, some based on books by Joan Collins' sister Jackie — \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>was part of a boom in soapy prime-time material full of diamonds, sex and board meetings. In those days, the age cohort for soaps was ancient by the standards of what is now the CW: Forsythe was over 60 when \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>premiered, Evans was nearly 40, and Collins was nearly 50.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/KFVWb_OC7xE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/KFVWb_OC7xE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The CW is not making a show like that, and you can take that to the bank.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blake is still the patriarch, and in a clever casting decision that marches Generation X onward toward the grave (we're going, we're going), he is played by Grant Show, who was a young hottie on \u003cem>Melrose Place \u003c/em>during a differently shaped nighttime-soap boom in the 1990s. Blake's daughter, Fallon (Elizabeth Gillies), still feels overlooked in the family business, just as she did back in the 1980s, but Krystle's role in the story is now occupied by Cristal Flores (Nathalie Kelley), a 30ish woman working at his company to whom Blake is engaged.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you're wondering how long it takes for Fallon and Cristal to pull each other's hair, the answer is \"less than 30 minutes of screen time.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are other updates: It's not that big a deal that Steven Carrington is gay now, and the Colbys, who act as foils to the Carringtons, are now a black family headed by Jeff (Sam Adegoke), a tech guru. In the pilot, Fallon is messing around with the chauffeur, Steven is dillydallying with someone he meets who will \u003cem>obviously \u003c/em>turn out to be related to someone he knows, Blake and Cristal are getting busy on Blake's desk, and — as mentioned — Cristal and Fallon are pulling each other's hair.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/xjp5b6pvdvw'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/xjp5b6pvdvw'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The CW makes a very particular kind of soap — for its young(er) audience. If a lot of the new \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>feels like the old \u003cem>Gossip Girl\u003c/em>, that makes some sense, because \u003cem>Gossip Girl \u003c/em>creators Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage created it, along with Sallie Patrick, who worked on ABC's \u003cem>Revenge\u003c/em>. So this doesn't quite feel like the broad, luscious \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>of the past; it feels a little more like it's supposed to be cool. What it could use, to be frank, is a little more of the \u003cem>Revenge \u003c/em>DNA. Much of the time, that was a show that was joyfully wackadoo in a way that \u003cem>Dynasty\u003c/em>, despite that obligatory hair-pulling scene, isn't quite yet. It could be — Gillies, in particular, has the corny verve to pull off something a little broader. But Kelley still seems a bit overmatched by the idea of Cristal really throwing down with Fallon, and it always takes a while for anyone to care about the boardroom shenanigans that are already underway by the end of the pilot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When it comes to escapism, you could do worse than a trashy grown-up soap that will eventually \u003cem>have \u003c/em>to introduce Alexis (the original show didn't until the second season), who will make things even more trashy in a harmless, drape-the-world-in-diamonds kind of way. Like a lot of shows about the very rich, \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>is less a salute to their excesses and more an imagining of their misery and emptiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But what every nighttime soap needs is something that we learned from something that happened on \u003cem>Melrose Place. \u003c/em>It must contain at least the potential for a character (like Marcia Cross' Kimberly on \u003cem>Melrose\u003c/em>) to return from apparent death, make it through an entire episode seeming relatively normal, and then, in the bathroom, yank a wig off to reveal that she's bald and she has a huge scar and she probably isn't OK at all — OH NOOOOO! Seriously: That is the nighttime soap business. It's not supposed to be moving; it's supposed to be \u003cem>big\u003c/em>. And while it is fun, to really land, \u003cem>Dynasty \u003c/em>needs to be a little bigger. A little broader. A little more off the wall. We must believe you will yank some wigs off some scalps when people come back from the dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Come to think of it, it needs Alexis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=The+New+%27Dynasty%27+Pulls+Hair%2C+But+It+Needs+To+Yank+Wigs&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>’s loss was ever harsher, only managing to eke out 20% against \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>. You all really miss \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/04/the-best-quotes-from-downton-abbeys-dowager-countess-queen-of-shade/\">the Dowager\u003c/a>, huh?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/we-are-not-amused-victoria-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96809\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/we-are-not-amused-victoria-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to this week’s final! Let your voice be heard!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da.jpg\">\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96737\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-1920x1920.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-sherlock-da-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=\"9850349\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to come back next Tuesday to find out which show will win an all-day marathon! Need to kill time between now and then? \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross was really terrible at spying in France and almost got guillotined. Will he risk his neck one more time to save Doc and his new beard? Will Drake and Morwenna finally make out (with Geoffrey Charles awkwardly watching, of course)? Will \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">Demelza and Blondie star in \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, even though their husbands aren't dead? Will Agatha let out another \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fww2.kqed.org%2Fpop%2F2017%2F10%2F08%2Fpoldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi%2F\">cute, prolonged fart\u003c/a>? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How many minutes into this week's episode before something terrible happens to poor people? Answer: Not even one! Cold and starving, a few villagers snag some grain from one of Malfoy's boats so they don't have to die. They die anyway because soldiers shoot them in the street. The ones that survive are sentenced to fifteen years by Malfoy. Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/scrappy-doo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/scrappy-doo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza is doing manual labor while \u003cem>being in \u003c/em>labor. Now that Doc is a French captive and the only other doctor in town always manages to kill people by accident, Demelza has decided to secretly do it herself. I am still very emotional over the last time a Masterpiece show killed off a birthing mother (rest in power forever and always, Sybil from \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>; I hope you're \u003ca href=\"http://recollections.biz/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/lady-sybil-blue-harem-pants-dowton.jpg\">wearing cool harem pants\u003c/a> in heaven), so here's hoping the writers leave Demelza -- and Valentine's new half-sibling -- alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a cliffside, Ross tsk-tsks as sick workers from the mine he sold to Malfoy cart off a dead colleague. Not one to miss an opportunity to gloat over the corpse of a poor person, Malfoy materializes and picks a fight by calling Ross a copper mine, \"full of noise but ultimately lacking in substance.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/tinf.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/tinf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When that barb falls flat, he tries poking at an old, very tired wound:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"How do you sleep at night?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps you should ask Elizabeth.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with all things relating to Elizabeth, Ross instantly hears the \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em> I'm-so-going-to-murder-you-right-now music in his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Ross' friend reminds him of Michelle Obama's aphorism, \"When they go low, we go high.\" Ross forces himself to stop fantasizing about putting a knife in Malfoy's eyeball and decides to wait 'til the season finale to murder him instead. A fine compromise!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads home and can't find Demelza anywhere. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's not! She's casually kicking back, watching Netflix with her new daughter, Clowance (a name that only Morwenna's mom and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/015-768x540.jpg\">this lover of jumbling random syllables\u003c/a> could love). Ross comes in and finds Demelza making this cause-I-slay face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/marie-antoinette-bed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96787\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/marie-antoinette-bed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross can't believe she was able to deliver her own baby. Demelza responds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/what-like-its-hard-legally-blonde-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96788\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/what-like-its-hard-legally-blonde-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"145\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Malfoy, Elizabeth continues to refuse to touch Valentine. Haters gonna hate, sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, the throuple of Drake, Morwenna, and Geoffrey Charles becomes a fourple with the inclusion of Agatha. There's apparently enough of Drake to go around, which Agatha is more than pleased to know. I mean, just look at the way she looks at him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96792\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-1020x498.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-160x78.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-800x391.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-768x375.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-960x469.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-240x117.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-375x183.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-520x254.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Blondie excitedly tells Ross and Demelza that the Parliament Wannabe she refused to marry is going to pull some strings and have Doc released from the French prison-of-war camp. Ross and Demelza, who both know a thing or two about things never working out that easily, give her the \"Sure, Jan\" treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Doc cauterizes the festering wounds of his fellow prisoners with a hot spoon, thinking to himself \u003cem>FML\u003c/em> and \u003cem>I miss Horace the Pug\u003c/em> (we all do; where is he?!??).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Channel-surfing back to \u003cem>Everybody Loves Drake\u003c/em>, news arrives that Morwenna has to go celebrate Christmas at Malfoy's new digs for a few weeks. Geoffrey Charles takes a break from cock-blocking by briefly leaving the room for a few seconds (finally!). This is your moment, Drake and Morwenna! Make out! Before it's too late!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96794\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake leans in...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96793\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... and kisses...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-nodding-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96799\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-nodding-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"415\" height=\"498\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... her hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-bangs-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Morwenna is like, \u003cem>You know what? No. We're doing this.\u003c/em> She goes in for the kiss, and right before their lips touch... Geoffrey Charles comes running back in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-little-mermaid-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96795\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"282\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Sam scolds Drake for risking his immortal soul with all the hand-kissing. At least that's what I think he said. I couldn't hear over the sound of his wet half-nakedness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96800\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1018\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png 1018w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-160x77.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-800x387.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-768x371.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-960x464.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-240x116.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-375x181.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-520x251.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1018px) 100vw, 1018px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross writes Agatha an invitation to Clowance's baptism. Upon delivery, Malfoy's Slytherin crony breaks the eleventh commandment (\u003cem>thou shalt not mess with another's snail mail\u003c/em>) and crumples the letter up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/going-straight-to-hell-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/going-straight-to-hell-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to the baptism! (Time sure does fly when you're poor in the 18th century!) Morwenna and Drake send I-kiss-before-marriage looks back and forth across the church. Sam tries to expunge any signs of whoredom out of his brother by staring at the side of his face like a maniac.\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png 1016w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-160x78.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-800x391.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-768x375.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-960x469.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-240x117.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-375x183.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-520x254.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96803\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1018\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png 1018w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-160x77.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-800x387.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-768x371.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-960x464.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-240x116.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-375x181.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-520x251.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1018px) 100vw, 1018px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes Morwenna to the side and explains the state of things: \u003cem>You're rich, my brother is poor. This will only end with both of you writing wistful Taylor Swift breakup songs. \u003c/em>Morwenna is too polite to bring up the fact that both Demelza and Ross and Blondie and Doc have cross-class marriages. Instead, she agrees to break up with Drake immediately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it's one thing to resolve to crush Drake's heart when he's not in eyesight; it's quite another to do it to his beautiful face. Morwenna tells him they need to stop seeing each other, each word becoming less convincing as Drake's cute mug gets closer and closer to hers, until THEY KISS WITHOUT GEOFFREY CHARLES WATCHING! Victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96815\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Meanwhile, in France, Doc is still poking at festering wounds, missing Horace (and Blondie too, I guess).\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">At chez Elizabeth, Malfoy is hosting a ball, but no super-rich people show up (boo hoo!), and the people who do look like they've just seen a \u003cem>Schindler's List\u003c/em> / \u003cem>Titanic\u003c/em> / \u003cem>Beaches\u003c/em> triple feature.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Right in front of Malfoy, Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles loudly talk about how they disobeyed his orders and secretly went to the baptism to hang out with Ross and co. I realize they're head over heels for Drake, and infatuation makes people do dumb things, but get it together! \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles also loudly proclaims that Valentine drools (figuratively, but also literally) and Clowance rules. \u003cem>How dare he diss my heir who's suspiciously too dark to actually be mine?!\u003c/em> Malfoy vows to send Geoffrey Charles off to boarding school, which means Drake and Morwenna might actually get to second base before they're 70!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/old-people-kissing-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/old-people-kissing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back in the countryside, Ross figures out Agatha didn't come to the baptism because someone evil broke the eleventh commandment. He rides over there in a huff to spend some much-needed quality time. We're about to get this episode's New Reason to Love Agatha Above All Others™ in 3, 2, 1... \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\"Of course I never had your invitation! Do you think I'd miss a chance to drink port and eat heavy cake?!\" There it is! I hope Agatha lives as long as the Countess from \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> (a.k.a. forever).\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Apparently, Malfoy didn't get the Agatha-is-immortal memo 'cause he's trying to kill her by having his Slytherin cronies refuse to light fires for her in the dead of winter. Ross invites Agatha to come live with him, to which Agatha remarks, \"And lose the chance to torment him?! Nahhhh.\" Bonus New Reason to Love Agatha Above All Others™! Life is good.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Ross tells Agatha he feels bad that Geoffrey Charles has to deal with such a \"gamecock\" stepdad. Agatha asks, \u003cem>Uhhh, what about Valentine?,\u003c/em> and gives him this \u003cem>Girl, who are you kidding?\u003c/em> look:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\"> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back at the ball, Malfoy runs to Elizabeth and tattles about Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles attending the baptism. Elizabeth misses the point and gets furious that Ross has a new daughter. Don't worry, Liz, you can just kill this one with your germs too and never say sorry like last time. Never one to not dance on an infant's grave, Malfoy says this despicable thing: \"Let's hope they're less careless with this one.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">They agree to punish Morwenna. With a hair shirt or by forcing her to sleep on a bed of nails or some other kind of medieval torture? Not quite, but close enough. They're going to force her to marry a gross goblin, who is drinking and flirting up a storm a mere week after his wife died.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over at Ross' place, everyone is chowing down on a huge turkey and singing whatever the 18th-century \"Despacito\" equivalent is. Blondie wonders aloud what Doc is up to. Answer: watching his friends die and eating rats. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/eating-rat-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/eating-rat-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Later, Ross and friends head into town to pass out food to the starving (which turns out to be everyone). Ross devises a secret plan to pass out even more loafs of bread and heal leprosy with a single touch and stuff. Dear Ross, Jesus called, he wants his storyline back.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Demelza and Blondie get ready to play their part in the let's-stuff-everyone-with-bread plan by dressing up as \"highwaymen\" and getting ugly rich dudes to give them money. They enjoyed and signed onto my \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em> pitch! Very exciting news, but not quite as exciting as the fact that HORACE THE PUG IS IN THE HOUSE!!! Look at him yawn and show off his beautiful curves!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96824\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1020x565.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"355\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1020x565.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-800x443.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-768x425.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1920x1063.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1180x653.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-240x133.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-375x208.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-520x288.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back at Voldemort Headquarters, Elizabeth informs Morwenna that they sold her hand in marriage for a few bucks. When Morwenna begins to weep, Elizabeth shows off the gold medal she won in the Sociopath Olympics by asking, \"Do our kind thoughts displease you?\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna asks, \"Is it wrong to hope for love in a marriage? When you wed Frances, did you not marry for love?\" Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>LOL definitely not! Every time I marry, I do it for hard cash and to get a rise out of Ross, duh!\u003c/em> After she grows bored of pointing and laughing at Morwenna's pain, Elizabeth goes to her room, takes a shot of liquid Xanax and ignores Valentine some more.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">The following day, Gross Goblin salivates in front of Morwenna about the prospect of her raising his two daughters and \"comfort[ing] me as only a wife can.\" Morwenna runs from the room cause the vomit in her mouth has to go somewhere.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> I feel you, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/gag-me.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/gag-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over at Millennials <3 Jesus headquarters, Ross and co. are passing out food to the poor, paid for by all the donations Thelma and Louise raised. Under the impression that the food was obtained illegally, Malfoy rides up to ruin everyone's day. Before he can say \u003cem>Ha ha! I'm still going to find a way to ensure that you all starve!\u003c/em>, Thelma and Louise let him know that he and his rich friends unwittingly made all of this possible. Ross follows up that slap with a \u003cem>Get the F off my land before I put your entire head into a blazing fireplace like last season\u003c/em>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/home-alone-head-fire.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96834\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/home-alone-head-fire.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over in France, Doc and friends are REALLY thirsty. The guards take bets on who will the be the next prisoner to die. Elizabeth should totally get an internship with them. I bet she'd fit right in.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">To get even with Ross, Malfoy closes the Poldark family mine, as if to say, \u003cem>The poor people you fed might not die of starvation, but these 70 poor workers will! Gotcha!\u003c/em> Way to make Voldemort smile with pride.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/voldemort-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96836\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/voldemort-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"636\" height=\"264\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back in France, Doc finally has cause to celebrate! A friend that he's nursed back to health from the brink of death is going to live! But before he can get to the second y in YAAAAAYYYY!, a random French guard strolls over and shoots Doc's friend to death. Yikes! Remember when the darkest thing on this show was love triangle jealousy?\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over in Cornwall, Ross just hires all the fired poor dudes. Huh, that was easy. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">On a muddy lane, Drake, Sam, and Demelza come across a carriage stuck in the mud, which is carrying... Morwenna! Drake is over the moon and one step closer to second base. Sam and all the apostles strongly disapprove.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/everything-is-ungodly.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/everything-is-ungodly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"165\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">In the city, Malfoy calls Gross Goblin \"a reptile and a prig,\" and smiles at the thought of still forcing Morwenna to marry him. Cut to a scene absolutely no one asked for, in which a tailor accidentally bumps Gross Goblin's testicles.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/my-eyes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96828\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"272\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">On their secret sexy beach, Drake and Morwenna run in slow motion towards each other. Geoffrey Charles is nowhere to be seen. Is this a dream? Could this really be? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">It could! They smash their faces into each other and feel each other up. Second base at long last.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Murderous French guard.\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://fat.gfycat.com/SpeedySmoothFennecfox.gif\">Be cool. Don't be all, like, uncool.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">I think Etta James' \"At Last\" is about him finally taking the hint and staying home for once. Good going!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Horace the Pug.\u003c/strong> Glad to have you back, you beautiful being you. Can't wait to watch you yawn some more next week.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Demelza. \u003c/strong>She can deliver her own children, sing like Ariana Grande, and resist the urge to kill Ross every time he deserves it (usually three times a week). Is there anything she can't do?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Agatha.\u003c/strong> This could have gone to Ross for helping more poor people than Mother Teresa in a single day, but Agatha's love of booze, cake, and risking her life just for the opportunity to be petty is so relatable and deserves something shiny.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "A birth, a death, a trip to second base, and a rat dinner, all play a part in this week's 'Poldark.'",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross was really terrible at spying in France and almost got guillotined. Will he risk his neck one more time to save Doc and his new beard? Will Drake and Morwenna finally make out (with Geoffrey Charles awkwardly watching, of course)? Will \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">Demelza and Blondie star in \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, even though their husbands aren't dead? Will Agatha let out another \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fww2.kqed.org%2Fpop%2F2017%2F10%2F08%2Fpoldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi%2F\">cute, prolonged fart\u003c/a>? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How many minutes into this week's episode before something terrible happens to poor people? Answer: Not even one! Cold and starving, a few villagers snag some grain from one of Malfoy's boats so they don't have to die. They die anyway because soldiers shoot them in the street. The ones that survive are sentenced to fifteen years by Malfoy. Someone hold me back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/scrappy-doo.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96771\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/scrappy-doo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza is doing manual labor while \u003cem>being in \u003c/em>labor. Now that Doc is a French captive and the only other doctor in town always manages to kill people by accident, Demelza has decided to secretly do it herself. I am still very emotional over the last time a Masterpiece show killed off a birthing mother (rest in power forever and always, Sybil from \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>; I hope you're \u003ca href=\"http://recollections.biz/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/lady-sybil-blue-harem-pants-dowton.jpg\">wearing cool harem pants\u003c/a> in heaven), so here's hoping the writers leave Demelza -- and Valentine's new half-sibling -- alone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a cliffside, Ross tsk-tsks as sick workers from the mine he sold to Malfoy cart off a dead colleague. Not one to miss an opportunity to gloat over the corpse of a poor person, Malfoy materializes and picks a fight by calling Ross a copper mine, \"full of noise but ultimately lacking in substance.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/tinf.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96786\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/tinf.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When that barb falls flat, he tries poking at an old, very tired wound:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"How do you sleep at night?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps you should ask Elizabeth.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with all things relating to Elizabeth, Ross instantly hears the \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em> I'm-so-going-to-murder-you-right-now music in his head.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/cOy6hqzfsAs'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>But Ross' friend reminds him of Michelle Obama's aphorism, \"When they go low, we go high.\" Ross forces himself to stop fantasizing about putting a knife in Malfoy's eyeball and decides to wait 'til the season finale to murder him instead. A fine compromise!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross heads home and can't find Demelza anywhere. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's not! She's casually kicking back, watching Netflix with her new daughter, Clowance (a name that only Morwenna's mom and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/015-768x540.jpg\">this lover of jumbling random syllables\u003c/a> could love). Ross comes in and finds Demelza making this cause-I-slay face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/marie-antoinette-bed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96787\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/marie-antoinette-bed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross can't believe she was able to deliver her own baby. Demelza responds:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/what-like-its-hard-legally-blonde-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96788\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/what-like-its-hard-legally-blonde-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"145\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At chez Malfoy, Elizabeth continues to refuse to touch Valentine. Haters gonna hate, sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, the throuple of Drake, Morwenna, and Geoffrey Charles becomes a fourple with the inclusion of Agatha. There's apparently enough of Drake to go around, which Agatha is more than pleased to know. I mean, just look at the way she looks at him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96792\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-1020x498.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-160x78.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-800x391.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-768x375.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-960x469.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-240x117.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-375x183.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/agatha-heart-eyes-520x254.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' place, Blondie excitedly tells Ross and Demelza that the Parliament Wannabe she refused to marry is going to pull some strings and have Doc released from the French prison-of-war camp. Ross and Demelza, who both know a thing or two about things never working out that easily, give her the \"Sure, Jan\" treatment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Doc cauterizes the festering wounds of his fellow prisoners with a hot spoon, thinking to himself \u003cem>FML\u003c/em> and \u003cem>I miss Horace the Pug\u003c/em> (we all do; where is he?!??).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Channel-surfing back to \u003cem>Everybody Loves Drake\u003c/em>, news arrives that Morwenna has to go celebrate Christmas at Malfoy's new digs for a few weeks. Geoffrey Charles takes a break from cock-blocking by briefly leaving the room for a few seconds (finally!). This is your moment, Drake and Morwenna! Make out! Before it's too late!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96794\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake leans in...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96793\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... and kisses...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-nodding-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96799\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-nodding-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"415\" height=\"498\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>... her hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96797\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-bangs-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Morwenna is like, \u003cem>You know what? No. We're doing this.\u003c/em> She goes in for the kiss, and right before their lips touch... Geoffrey Charles comes running back in.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-little-mermaid-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96795\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kiss-the-girl-little-mermaid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"282\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Sam scolds Drake for risking his immortal soul with all the hand-kissing. At least that's what I think he said. I couldn't hear over the sound of his wet half-nakedness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96800\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1018\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM.png 1018w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-160x77.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-800x387.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-768x371.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-960x464.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-240x116.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-375x181.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-4.57.20-PM-520x251.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1018px) 100vw, 1018px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross writes Agatha an invitation to Clowance's baptism. Upon delivery, Malfoy's Slytherin crony breaks the eleventh commandment (\u003cem>thou shalt not mess with another's snail mail\u003c/em>) and crumples the letter up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/going-straight-to-hell-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96802\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/going-straight-to-hell-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward to the baptism! (Time sure does fly when you're poor in the 18th century!) Morwenna and Drake send I-kiss-before-marriage looks back and forth across the church. Sam tries to expunge any signs of whoredom out of his brother by staring at the side of his face like a maniac.\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96804\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM.png 1016w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-160x78.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-800x391.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-768x375.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-960x469.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-240x117.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-375x183.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.25.31-PM-520x254.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96803\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1018\" height=\"492\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM.png 1018w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-160x77.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-800x387.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-768x371.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-960x464.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-240x116.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-375x181.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-12-at-5.28.01-PM-520x251.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1018px) 100vw, 1018px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes Morwenna to the side and explains the state of things: \u003cem>You're rich, my brother is poor. This will only end with both of you writing wistful Taylor Swift breakup songs. \u003c/em>Morwenna is too polite to bring up the fact that both Demelza and Ross and Blondie and Doc have cross-class marriages. Instead, she agrees to break up with Drake immediately.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But it's one thing to resolve to crush Drake's heart when he's not in eyesight; it's quite another to do it to his beautiful face. Morwenna tells him they need to stop seeing each other, each word becoming less convincing as Drake's cute mug gets closer and closer to hers, until THEY KISS WITHOUT GEOFFREY CHARLES WATCHING! Victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-kiss-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96815\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ariel-kiss-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Meanwhile, in France, Doc is still poking at festering wounds, missing Horace (and Blondie too, I guess).\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">At chez Elizabeth, Malfoy is hosting a ball, but no super-rich people show up (boo hoo!), and the people who do look like they've just seen a \u003cem>Schindler's List\u003c/em> / \u003cem>Titanic\u003c/em> / \u003cem>Beaches\u003c/em> triple feature.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Right in front of Malfoy, Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles loudly talk about how they disobeyed his orders and secretly went to the baptism to hang out with Ross and co. I realize they're head over heels for Drake, and infatuation makes people do dumb things, but get it together! \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles also loudly proclaims that Valentine drools (figuratively, but also literally) and Clowance rules. \u003cem>How dare he diss my heir who's suspiciously too dark to actually be mine?!\u003c/em> Malfoy vows to send Geoffrey Charles off to boarding school, which means Drake and Morwenna might actually get to second base before they're 70!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/old-people-kissing-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/old-people-kissing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back in the countryside, Ross figures out Agatha didn't come to the baptism because someone evil broke the eleventh commandment. He rides over there in a huff to spend some much-needed quality time. We're about to get this episode's New Reason to Love Agatha Above All Others™ in 3, 2, 1... \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\"Of course I never had your invitation! Do you think I'd miss a chance to drink port and eat heavy cake?!\" There it is! I hope Agatha lives as long as the Countess from \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em> (a.k.a. forever).\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Apparently, Malfoy didn't get the Agatha-is-immortal memo 'cause he's trying to kill her by having his Slytherin cronies refuse to light fires for her in the dead of winter. Ross invites Agatha to come live with him, to which Agatha remarks, \"And lose the chance to torment him?! Nahhhh.\" Bonus New Reason to Love Agatha Above All Others™! Life is good.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Ross tells Agatha he feels bad that Geoffrey Charles has to deal with such a \"gamecock\" stepdad. Agatha asks, \u003cem>Uhhh, what about Valentine?,\u003c/em> and gives him this \u003cem>Girl, who are you kidding?\u003c/em> look:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\"> \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/ag.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back at the ball, Malfoy runs to Elizabeth and tattles about Morwenna and Geoffrey Charles attending the baptism. Elizabeth misses the point and gets furious that Ross has a new daughter. Don't worry, Liz, you can just kill this one with your germs too and never say sorry like last time. Never one to not dance on an infant's grave, Malfoy says this despicable thing: \"Let's hope they're less careless with this one.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38909\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/Kristen-Wiig-pissed.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"343\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">They agree to punish Morwenna. With a hair shirt or by forcing her to sleep on a bed of nails or some other kind of medieval torture? Not quite, but close enough. They're going to force her to marry a gross goblin, who is drinking and flirting up a storm a mere week after his wife died.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over at Ross' place, everyone is chowing down on a huge turkey and singing whatever the 18th-century \"Despacito\" equivalent is. Blondie wonders aloud what Doc is up to. Answer: watching his friends die and eating rats. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/eating-rat-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/eating-rat-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Later, Ross and friends head into town to pass out food to the starving (which turns out to be everyone). Ross devises a secret plan to pass out even more loafs of bread and heal leprosy with a single touch and stuff. Dear Ross, Jesus called, he wants his storyline back.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Demelza and Blondie get ready to play their part in the let's-stuff-everyone-with-bread plan by dressing up as \"highwaymen\" and getting ugly rich dudes to give them money. They enjoyed and signed onto my \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em> pitch! Very exciting news, but not quite as exciting as the fact that HORACE THE PUG IS IN THE HOUSE!!! Look at him yawn and show off his beautiful curves!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96825\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"352\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1020x561.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-160x88.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-800x440.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-768x423.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1920x1057.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-1180x649.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-960x528.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-240x132.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-375x206.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy-520x286.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96824\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1020x565.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"355\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1020x565.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-800x443.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-768x425.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1920x1063.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1180x653.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-960x532.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-672x372.jpg 672w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-1038x576.jpg 1038w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-240x133.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-375x208.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy-520x288.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/horace-3-copy.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back at Voldemort Headquarters, Elizabeth informs Morwenna that they sold her hand in marriage for a few bucks. When Morwenna begins to weep, Elizabeth shows off the gold medal she won in the Sociopath Olympics by asking, \"Do our kind thoughts displease you?\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna asks, \"Is it wrong to hope for love in a marriage? When you wed Frances, did you not marry for love?\" Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>LOL definitely not! Every time I marry, I do it for hard cash and to get a rise out of Ross, duh!\u003c/em> After she grows bored of pointing and laughing at Morwenna's pain, Elizabeth goes to her room, takes a shot of liquid Xanax and ignores Valentine some more.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">The following day, Gross Goblin salivates in front of Morwenna about the prospect of her raising his two daughters and \"comfort[ing] me as only a wife can.\" Morwenna runs from the room cause the vomit in her mouth has to go somewhere.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> I feel you, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/gag-me.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/gag-me.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"272\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over at Millennials <3 Jesus headquarters, Ross and co. are passing out food to the poor, paid for by all the donations Thelma and Louise raised. Under the impression that the food was obtained illegally, Malfoy rides up to ruin everyone's day. Before he can say \u003cem>Ha ha! I'm still going to find a way to ensure that you all starve!\u003c/em>, Thelma and Louise let him know that he and his rich friends unwittingly made all of this possible. Ross follows up that slap with a \u003cem>Get the F off my land before I put your entire head into a blazing fireplace like last season\u003c/em>.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/home-alone-head-fire.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96834\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/home-alone-head-fire.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over in France, Doc and friends are REALLY thirsty. The guards take bets on who will the be the next prisoner to die. Elizabeth should totally get an internship with them. I bet she'd fit right in.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">To get even with Ross, Malfoy closes the Poldark family mine, as if to say, \u003cem>The poor people you fed might not die of starvation, but these 70 poor workers will! Gotcha!\u003c/em> Way to make Voldemort smile with pride.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/voldemort-smile.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96836\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/voldemort-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"636\" height=\"264\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Back in France, Doc finally has cause to celebrate! A friend that he's nursed back to health from the brink of death is going to live! But before he can get to the second y in YAAAAAYYYY!, a random French guard strolls over and shoots Doc's friend to death. Yikes! Remember when the darkest thing on this show was love triangle jealousy?\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Over in Cornwall, Ross just hires all the fired poor dudes. Huh, that was easy. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">On a muddy lane, Drake, Sam, and Demelza come across a carriage stuck in the mud, which is carrying... Morwenna! Drake is over the moon and one step closer to second base. Sam and all the apostles strongly disapprove.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/everything-is-ungodly.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/everything-is-ungodly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"165\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">In the city, Malfoy calls Gross Goblin \"a reptile and a prig,\" and smiles at the thought of still forcing Morwenna to marry him. Cut to a scene absolutely no one asked for, in which a tailor accidentally bumps Gross Goblin's testicles.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/my-eyes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96828\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"272\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">On their secret sexy beach, Drake and Morwenna run in slow motion towards each other. Geoffrey Charles is nowhere to be seen. Is this a dream? Could this really be? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">It could! They smash their faces into each other and feel each other up. Second base at long last.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Murderous French guard.\u003c/strong> \u003ca href=\"https://fat.gfycat.com/SpeedySmoothFennecfox.gif\">Be cool. Don't be all, like, uncool.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">I think Etta James' \"At Last\" is about him finally taking the hint and staying home for once. Good going!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: Horace the Pug.\u003c/strong> Glad to have you back, you beautiful being you. Can't wait to watch you yawn some more next week.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Demelza. \u003c/strong>She can deliver her own children, sing like Ariana Grande, and resist the urge to kill Ross every time he deserves it (usually three times a week). Is there anything she can't do?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Agatha.\u003c/strong> This could have gone to Ross for helping more poor people than Mother Teresa in a single day, but Agatha's love of booze, cake, and risking her life just for the opportunity to be petty is so relatable and deserves something shiny.\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039Apple-converted-space\"> \u003c/span>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Austin Rogers is not your typical \u003cem>Jeopardy!\u003c/em> champion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, he's got brains — answering rapid-fire trivia in the form of a question to the tune of $278,000 in winnings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Rogers, a New York City bartender, has also got plenty of flair (not to mention hair!). His goofy contestant intro segments are far from the stiff pose and awkward smile that have become a mainstay of America's Favorite Quiz Show. In one, he pretends to be talking on a phone; in another, he shifts to profile and mimes opening a bottle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=4nNbii1ucOw\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Whenever he gets an answer correct, he breaks into what he describes as \"celebratory histrionics.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And to top it all off, he bets big!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some say he's the best thing to happen to the game show since \u003ca href=\"https://www.inverse.com/article/13630-what-has-ibm-watson-been-up-to-since-winning-jeopardy-5-years-ago\">IBM's Watson trounced its human Jeopardy! opponents\u003c/a> six years ago. Rogers has even spawned his own trending hashtag, #austinonjeopardy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/_SarahAir/status/913909924488531968?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.npr.org%2F2017%2F10%2F06%2F555979792%2Fhow-monopoly-man-won-the-internet\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/JayBennay/status/913906913796087808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.npr.org%2F2017%2F10%2F06%2F555979792%2Fhow-monopoly-man-won-the-internet\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/OfficialMisterC/status/917528956005507073\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"He's got hair; he's got chutzpah. He's got broad-based knowledge,\" \u003cem>Jeopardy! \u003c/em>host Alex Trebek says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Rogers has been described as a \u003ca href=\"https://www.avclub.com/jeopardy-has-found-its-newest-superstar-and-he-is-a-s-1819175397\">cross between actor Zach Galifianakis and Martin Prince\u003c/a>, the teacher's pet character from \u003cem>The Simpsons\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd5ItEC9MV8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shorn of his signature mop-top, \u003ca href=\"http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/quirky-york-bartender-viral-jeopardy-genius/story?id=50298092\">Rogers told ABC's \u003cem>Good Morning America\u003c/em>\u003c/a> on Thursday that he doesn't own a television but nonetheless found ways to watch \"hundreds upon hundreds of episodes\" of the game show in preparation for his first appearance.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I'm not going to say that there's a system or a code, but if you watch enough, you'll start seeing things repeat,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Example? \"If it ever says 'sculptor' it's probably going to be Auguste Rodin. If it ever says 'American sculptor,' it'll probably be \u003ca href=\"http://www.theartstory.org/artist-calder-alexander.htm\">Alexander Calder\u003c/a>. If it ever says 'Romanian poet,' it'll be \u003ca href=\"http://www.romanianvoice.com/poezii/poeti_tr/eminescu_eng.php\">Eminescu\u003c/a>.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I have no idea who Eminescu is, but I've seen that come up three times in episodes across the decades,\" he says.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asked by Trebek how he got to be so smart, Rogers replies drolly: \"Genetics. Luck. Karma.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What about school? \"School? Nah!\" he scoffs with a wave of the hand.\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003cem>Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=%27Jeopardy%21%27+Champion+Goes+Viral+With+Quirky+Style%2C+Big+Bets&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/em>\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"disqusTitle": "Drama World Series: Will Your Fave Make It Through the Semi-Final?",
"title": "Drama World Series: Will Your Fave Make It Through the Semi-Final?",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/04/drama-world-series-vote-for-your-favorite-tv-show/\">Last week\u003c/a>, we kicked off the Drama World Series, a three-week bracket smackdown between eight of your most beloved TV shows. We've tallied your votes and are one step closer to finding out which competitor will win an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before we get to this week's matchups, let's take a moment to pour one out for our fallen heroes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> lost by less than one percentage point to \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>. Putin strikes again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-ross-poldark-sad-cry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-ross-poldark-sad-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"362\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poor \u003cem>Anne of Green Gables\u003c/em> didn't stand a chance against the Countess and everyone else at \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, only managing 24% of the vote.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/giphy_wazttz.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/giphy_wazttz.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"460\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sherlock's cheekbones and upturned collar proved to be cooler than \u003cem>Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-fisher-mysteries-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-fisher-mysteries-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, perhaps with a little help from above,\u003cem> Grantchester's\u003c/em> sexy vicar\u003cem> \u003c/em>managed to defeat \u003cem>Prime Suspect\u003c/em>’s Helen Mirren.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/051b923e0f7db97ff369852fc37d86fb.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/051b923e0f7db97ff369852fc37d86fb.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to this week's semi-final! Let your voice be heard!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1920x1920.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9847429]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1920x1920.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=\"9847435\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to come back next Monday to find out the results and vote in the final! Need to kill time between now and then? \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/04/drama-world-series-vote-for-your-favorite-tv-show/\">Last week\u003c/a>, we kicked off the Drama World Series, a three-week bracket smackdown between eight of your most beloved TV shows. We've tallied your votes and are one step closer to finding out which competitor will win an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before we get to this week's matchups, let's take a moment to pour one out for our fallen heroes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> lost by less than one percentage point to \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>. Putin strikes again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-ross-poldark-sad-cry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/demelza-ross-poldark-sad-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"362\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poor \u003cem>Anne of Green Gables\u003c/em> didn't stand a chance against the Countess and everyone else at \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>, only managing 24% of the vote.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/giphy_wazttz.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/giphy_wazttz.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"460\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sherlock's cheekbones and upturned collar proved to be cooler than \u003cem>Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-fisher-mysteries-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/miss-fisher-mysteries-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, perhaps with a little help from above,\u003cem> Grantchester's\u003c/em> sexy vicar\u003cem> \u003c/em>managed to defeat \u003cem>Prime Suspect\u003c/em>’s Helen Mirren.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/051b923e0f7db97ff369852fc37d86fb.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/051b923e0f7db97ff369852fc37d86fb.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"313\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which brings us to this week's semi-final! Let your voice be heard!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1920x1920.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-vic-da-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9847429]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1920x1920.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/dws-grant-sherlock-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=\"9847435\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to come back next Monday to find out the results and vote in the final! Need to kill time between now and then? \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Doc got married, delivered a baby, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> got captured by French revolutionaries (slow your roll, dude!). Will his captors spare his pretty face? Will Ross lose a hand and turn the bones into a maraca, like his pirate friend? Will Elizabeth stop bullying her newborn baby? Will Demelza's hot brothers take their shirts off some more? Will Horace the Pug do something cute? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza stands at the edge of a beautiful vista with her son. Is she showing him the finer points of taking a panorama shot worth at least 100 Instagram likes? No, just wondering aloud if Ross has gotten himself killed yet again (her default setting). From now on, drink every time Demelza makes a scrunched-up, worried face while cursing Ross in her head for making her life so stressful (you might not be coherent by the end of this recap, but you only live once, right?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in France, Ross and Bone Maraca Pirate look around and see a Brit taking a rifle to the face next to a bloody, dripping guillotine. Both think, \u003cem>Okay, maybe we didn't think this plan all the way through.\u003c/em> They also think this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mom-can-you-pick-me-up-im-scared-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96604\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mom-can-you-pick-me-up-im-scared-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy is cranky again. What's he whining about this time?\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Elizabeth, can you stop acknowledging the existence of poor people by saying hi? Why can't you be an obedient wife and just send them a withering look that translates to \u003c/em>I hope you die in a muddy gutter\u003cem> like I always do? Wahhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Ugh, Demelza's brothers are trolling me by loudly singing right outside of my church! They don't love Jesus like I love Jesus! Actually, \u003c/em>I\u003cem> am Jesus and they are Judas! They are \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suppressive_Person\">suppressive people\u003c/a>! Wahhhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Ewww! Look at those unwashed village children showing us their teeth. Wait, what? That's called smiling? I hate it! Ban smiling! Wahhhhhhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross is really bad at this whole laying-low-in-order-to-keep-one's-head-attached-to-one's-body thing. He's just standing in the middle of a square, looking very lost and very British. On top of this, he gawks every time a revolutionary slits someone's throat or beats a helpless woman. One of said revolutionaries finally is like, \"DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?\" (I know that's what he said 'cause I'm fancy and took a few French classes in college.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, a little boy runs up and gives Ross a note that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I was going to wait until the coast was clear to contact you, but wow, you really suck at this, so go to this location and try not to get us all killed. K?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Sincerely, \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Kindergartener Who's Better at Being a Spy Than You \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, one of Ross' friends tells Demelza that Ross' genius let's-just-ride-on-over-to-wartime-France-and-free-a-heavily-guarded-prisoner plan isn't going well. Demelza responds succinctly and emphatically with one of these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/michelle-tanner-duh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96608\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/michelle-tanner-duh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"700\" height=\"526\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross kills time while waiting for another contact by eyeing up a hot waitress. He wonders if it would be totally inappropriate to cheat on Demelza again. What's one more betrayal, right? Bone Maraca Pirate channels his inner Hilary Duff and gives Ross a look that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-not-duff.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96609\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-not-duff.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach somewhere, Geoffrey Charles is the awkward third wheel on yet another Drake / Morwenna date. They look at each other adoringly and then look away and then look back at each other for several hours. I pop out from behind a rock and shout the following:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every episode, Agatha does something super random and wonderful that makes me fall in love with her all over again (see: last episode's \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/914746367263698945\">weird burp thing\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792923043731345408\">this great eye roll\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792875375730630657\">the time she said \"Fiddlesticks!\"\u003c/a> or the time she burst into a room and yelled, \"Where's my port?!\" to no one in particular). So what will it be this week?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A cute, prolonged fart! Mission accomplished!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha calls out Geoffrey Charles on his secret beach trip by pointing out all the sand in his hair, on his face, and on his shoes. Amateur. \"You have to be sharp to out-trump me, boy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/nicole-richie-know-everything-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96613\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/nicole-richie-know-everything-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pops in to say, \u003cem>Never go to Ross' beach ever again! I hate him for no good reason now, remember?\u003c/em> Geoffrey Charles expertly gets out of being grounded by commenting on how much darker his new baby brother is than he should be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oooh-scandal-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96614\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oooh-scandal-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross tells Bone Maraca Pirate that his philandering ways are behind him. No hot waitress this time. This makes Bone Maraca Pirate's inner Hilary Duff very sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hilary-duff-cry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96615\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hilary-duff-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is soon contacted by a shady French dude who keeps taking his money in exchange for super vague, unhelpful information. I smell...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/980x.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96616\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/980x.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Malfoy tries to get Elizabeth to accompany him to his first day on the bench as magistrate. \u003cem>Come watch me sentence innocent poor people to death! It'll be fun!\u003c/em> Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>Nah, it was boring when my last husband did it and it's boring now. I'm just gonna stay home and hate my... I mean, our... baby.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross and Bone Maraca Pirate take a break from drinking to watch someone get their head guillotined right off. The hot waitress is nearby enjoying the bloodshed. Moments later, she approaches Ross and asks if she can go up to his room to see his \"papers.\" She says this while pushing a cord seductively into a bottle. Oh, my!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pop-champagne-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96617\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pop-champagne-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/fran-drescher-gasp-clutch-pearls-gif.gif\">\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96619\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/fran-drescher-gasp-clutch-pearls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"347\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lets Hot Waitress know that his cork already has a bottle. Awww.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of bottles, Demelza has that scrunched-up, worried look again! Drink up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-drinking-downing-wine-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96643\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-drinking-downing-wine-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At court, Malfoy gets off on sentencing poor people to public floggings, telling Blondie that Doc is totally doornail dead, and taking back a building Drake and Sam turned into a church for Millennials. Agatha better step up her voodoo doll skills 'cause this jerk is on a roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Millennials for Christ headquarters, Drake and Sam are sad they can't sing hymns and kneel and drink cheap blood wine and whatever else people do at church. Sam says it's up to baby Jesus to help them now. Demelza is like, \u003cem>That's not a thing. Storming over to Elizabeth's house to make a scene is though! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Hot Waitress can't believe Ross swiped left on her! She gets her revenge by calling the cops on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hater-raven-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hater-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"168\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They take Ross to a dark cellar and threaten to imprison or murder him. Ross makes it rain guineas and they quickly change their tune to \u003cem>Ok, cool, no imprisonment or guillotine, but GTFO of France by midnight (and don't forget your glass slipper on the way out).\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Liz, Sam tries to make a deal with Elizabeth: S\u003cem>ave our hip DIY church and god will save your soul! \u003c/em>Elizabeth is like,\u003cem> That's not a thing, but I'll try.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, outside, Drake and Morwenna are doing their looking at each other and away and at each other thing again. This time, it's Geoffrey Charles, and not me, who pops out to basically say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Malfoy comes home gleeful about all the lives he's ruined. Plus, he got a compliment on his robe too! How nice. Elizabeth shares details of Sam's visit, and Malfoy can sense that she's thinking of poor folk as actual humans again. There's only one way to fix that: make it about Ross and wait for her inner monster to appear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>My dead husband gave them the land. It would be wrong to unlawfully snatch it away from these hipsters for Christ.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sam is Demelza's brother. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>WHAT??? TWO DEGRESS FROM ROSS?? WHOM I HATE FOR NO GOOD REASON????? OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!! Oh, and yeah, totally take away their clubhouse too.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you who leave comments asking why I hate Elizabeth, this is why.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' house, Blondie is like, \u003cem>Ugh, Doc is totally dead. And we only got to have sex twice. \u003c/em>Demelza makes her scrunched-up, worried face again. Chugalug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/amy-schumer-drinking-wine-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/amy-schumer-drinking-wine-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the Channel, Ross is on a boat heading home. Bone Maraca Pirate is like, \u003cem>Phew! I totally thought I would have to make a new belt maraca with your entire skeleton in it! Glad we're sensible enough to know when to call it quits.\u003c/em> Ross is like, \u003cem>Me? Sensible? Never!!!\u003c/em> He runs to the edge of the ship and jumps. An idea as idiotic as this one:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jump-canonball-ice-ouch-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jump-canonball-ice-ouch-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Days later, Bone Maraca Pirate gives Demelza Ross' hat and tells her what she already knows: her husband is nuts. Demelza makes a scrunched-up, I'm-going-to-murder-him-with-my-own-two-hands face this time. Throw back a shot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/buffy-take-shot-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/buffy-take-shot-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth is still on a tear about how much she hates Ross. We got the memo, girl. You can give it a rest now. Malfoy proposes a plan: Why don't they take baby Valentine and move to a different town? What a splendid idea! Could my dream of never seeing either of these characters again be realized? Was Sam right all along? Praying works?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jennifer-lawrence-praying-thank-god-jesus-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jennifer-lawrence-praying-thank-god-jesus-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"494\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to care about leaving Geoffrey Charles behind, before quickly saying, \u003cem>Ah, F it, he'll make do. Let's move today, so I'll never have to see Ross ever again!\u003c/em> This is all very comical, considering that, not only did Ross have nothing to do with the Millennial Christians: UK Chapter, but he's currently hiding in a pile of French hay. Anyway, good riddance!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snow-white-kiss-wave-bye-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snow-white-kiss-wave-bye-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"454\" height=\"324\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza is telling Drake that marriage is a bunch of BS. \"I promised to love, honor, and obey him. And why should I?\" Uh oh, is Demelza's \u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em> era upon us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her first step toward creating a diss album about Ross is giving away one of his storehouses to the Millennials for Christ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \"Brother Ross won't like it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No more than I like certain antics of his. What's his is mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yass-beyonce.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yass-beyonce.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Ross has managed to leave his pile of hay, thanks to a beanie that renders him invisible. He goes back to the same bar -- dude, maybe pick a different spot? -- and demands a list of prisoner names from his scammer co-conspirator. Alas, the beanie is not actually an invisibility cloak, and Hot Waitress turns him in yet again. \u003cem>You should have couchez'ed avec moi the other soir\u003c/em>, she scolds. Ross takes off his beanie, punches every male in his vicinity in the face, and skedaddles. Run, Forrest, run!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy gets a letter from some rich dude that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Sup? Could you let my son off the hook for assaulting a servant girl? Who cares, amirite? LOL. Thanks! P.S. Isn't classism fun? See you at court! 😉\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth finally relents and goes to see Malfoy ruin lives in his pretty robe. He decides to make an example of the servant girl for \"perjury\" and for daring to stand up for her civil rights. Elizabeth is absolutely shocked by this injustice. I really don't get why she's constantly surprised by Malfoy's evil ways. He literally does at least one terrible thing every 7 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Demelza (with scrunched-up, worried face in full effect; drink!) and Blondie agree that their husbands are most likely dead. But all is not lost! Now ball and chain free, they could hit the road and star in \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-160x116.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-800x581.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-768x557.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1180x856.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-960x697.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-240x174.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-375x272.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-520x377.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png 1196w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Elizabeth is randomly taking Xanax in liquid form, with a side of booze. It's lucky for her there's little to no heavy machinery invented yet for her to operate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the beach, Drake, Morwenna, and Geoffrey Charles are on yet another throuple date. Just leave him at home! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the farm, a pregnant Demelza is picking up heavy pieces of wood and cursing Ross in her head... until she hears horse hooves. It's Ross! All is forgiven 'cause his curls have never looked better and his face isn't bad either!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96642\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"366\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross managed to snatch a list of British soldiers taken prisoner, and Doc's name is on it! What the list fails to mention is that Doc is rocking a killer beard now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Jesus Lovers \"R\" Us, all the young, hip Christians are making sure their new space adheres to feng shui principles. A random girl shoots Drake a loaded look that says, \u003cem>I kiss before marriage\u003c/em>. Drake sends a look back that says, \u003cem>I'm flattered, but I'm already dating a girl and her eight-year-old companion, sorry!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the yay-you-weren't-decapitated-in-France honeymoon period is over. Ross is chastising Demelza for letting her brothers turn his shed into a home base for their cult. Who gave her permission to do such a thing?! Season 1 Demelza might have allowed this kind of behavior, but Season 3 Demelza is not having it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Other women may bow and scrape and ask permission, as I once did, but no longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yas-queen-ilana-broad-city-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96646\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yas-queen-ilana-broad-city-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"376\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then something truly shocking happens. More shocking than Francis being murdered by a random puddle last season. More shocking than Horace the Pug not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">ROSS\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">ADMITS\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">HE'S\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">WRONG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Ow0L1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Ow0L1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"606\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/danny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mr-bean-tea-cup-drop-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mr-bean-tea-cup-drop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bbQ3_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bbQ3_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this will probably never happen again, Demelza and Ross decide to celebrate this once-in-a-lifetime moment by having dirty sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, it's the guillotine vs. Ross. Will he keep his head? (Note: this episode sadly has no cute pugs in it.)",
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"description": "This week, it's the guillotine vs. Ross. Will he keep his head? (Note: this episode sadly has no cute pugs in it.)",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi? | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Doc got married, delivered a baby, \u003cem>and\u003c/em> got captured by French revolutionaries (slow your roll, dude!). Will his captors spare his pretty face? Will Ross lose a hand and turn the bones into a maraca, like his pirate friend? Will Elizabeth stop bullying her newborn baby? Will Demelza's hot brothers take their shirts off some more? Will Horace the Pug do something cute? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza stands at the edge of a beautiful vista with her son. Is she showing him the finer points of taking a panorama shot worth at least 100 Instagram likes? No, just wondering aloud if Ross has gotten himself killed yet again (her default setting). From now on, drink every time Demelza makes a scrunched-up, worried face while cursing Ross in her head for making her life so stressful (you might not be coherent by the end of this recap, but you only live once, right?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in France, Ross and Bone Maraca Pirate look around and see a Brit taking a rifle to the face next to a bloody, dripping guillotine. Both think, \u003cem>Okay, maybe we didn't think this plan all the way through.\u003c/em> They also think this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mom-can-you-pick-me-up-im-scared-mean-girls-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96604\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mom-can-you-pick-me-up-im-scared-mean-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy is cranky again. What's he whining about this time?\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Elizabeth, can you stop acknowledging the existence of poor people by saying hi? Why can't you be an obedient wife and just send them a withering look that translates to \u003c/em>I hope you die in a muddy gutter\u003cem> like I always do? Wahhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Ugh, Demelza's brothers are trolling me by loudly singing right outside of my church! They don't love Jesus like I love Jesus! Actually, \u003c/em>I\u003cem> am Jesus and they are Judas! They are \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suppressive_Person\">suppressive people\u003c/a>! Wahhhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Ewww! Look at those unwashed village children showing us their teeth. Wait, what? That's called smiling? I hate it! Ban smiling! Wahhhhhhhh!\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross is really bad at this whole laying-low-in-order-to-keep-one's-head-attached-to-one's-body thing. He's just standing in the middle of a square, looking very lost and very British. On top of this, he gawks every time a revolutionary slits someone's throat or beats a helpless woman. One of said revolutionaries finally is like, \"DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?\" (I know that's what he said 'cause I'm fancy and took a few French classes in college.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bonjour-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"236\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, a little boy runs up and gives Ross a note that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I was going to wait until the coast was clear to contact you, but wow, you really suck at this, so go to this location and try not to get us all killed. K?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Sincerely, \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Kindergartener Who's Better at Being a Spy Than You \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at home, one of Ross' friends tells Demelza that Ross' genius let's-just-ride-on-over-to-wartime-France-and-free-a-heavily-guarded-prisoner plan isn't going well. Demelza responds succinctly and emphatically with one of these:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/michelle-tanner-duh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96608\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/michelle-tanner-duh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"700\" height=\"526\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross kills time while waiting for another contact by eyeing up a hot waitress. He wonders if it would be totally inappropriate to cheat on Demelza again. What's one more betrayal, right? Bone Maraca Pirate channels his inner Hilary Duff and gives Ross a look that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-not-duff.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96609\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/why-not-duff.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach somewhere, Geoffrey Charles is the awkward third wheel on yet another Drake / Morwenna date. They look at each other adoringly and then look away and then look back at each other for several hours. I pop out from behind a rock and shout the following:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every episode, Agatha does something super random and wonderful that makes me fall in love with her all over again (see: last episode's \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/914746367263698945\">weird burp thing\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792923043731345408\">this great eye roll\u003c/a> or \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/792875375730630657\">the time she said \"Fiddlesticks!\"\u003c/a> or the time she burst into a room and yelled, \"Where's my port?!\" to no one in particular). So what will it be this week?\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>A cute, prolonged fart! Mission accomplished!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha calls out Geoffrey Charles on his secret beach trip by pointing out all the sand in his hair, on his face, and on his shoes. Amateur. \"You have to be sharp to out-trump me, boy!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/nicole-richie-know-everything-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96613\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/nicole-richie-know-everything-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pops in to say, \u003cem>Never go to Ross' beach ever again! I hate him for no good reason now, remember?\u003c/em> Geoffrey Charles expertly gets out of being grounded by commenting on how much darker his new baby brother is than he should be.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oooh-scandal-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96614\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/oooh-scandal-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"180\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross tells Bone Maraca Pirate that his philandering ways are behind him. No hot waitress this time. This makes Bone Maraca Pirate's inner Hilary Duff very sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hilary-duff-cry-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96615\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hilary-duff-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is soon contacted by a shady French dude who keeps taking his money in exchange for super vague, unhelpful information. I smell...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/980x.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96616\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/980x.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Malfoy tries to get Elizabeth to accompany him to his first day on the bench as magistrate. \u003cem>Come watch me sentence innocent poor people to death! It'll be fun!\u003c/em> Elizabeth is like, \u003cem>Nah, it was boring when my last husband did it and it's boring now. I'm just gonna stay home and hate my... I mean, our... baby.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Ross and Bone Maraca Pirate take a break from drinking to watch someone get their head guillotined right off. The hot waitress is nearby enjoying the bloodshed. Moments later, she approaches Ross and asks if she can go up to his room to see his \"papers.\" She says this while pushing a cord seductively into a bottle. Oh, my!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pop-champagne-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96617\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/pop-champagne-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/fran-drescher-gasp-clutch-pearls-gif.gif\">\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96619\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/fran-drescher-gasp-clutch-pearls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"347\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lets Hot Waitress know that his cork already has a bottle. Awww.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of bottles, Demelza has that scrunched-up, worried look again! Drink up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-drinking-downing-wine-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96643\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/kristen-wiig-drinking-downing-wine-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At court, Malfoy gets off on sentencing poor people to public floggings, telling Blondie that Doc is totally doornail dead, and taking back a building Drake and Sam turned into a church for Millennials. Agatha better step up her voodoo doll skills 'cause this jerk is on a roll.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Millennials for Christ headquarters, Drake and Sam are sad they can't sing hymns and kneel and drink cheap blood wine and whatever else people do at church. Sam says it's up to baby Jesus to help them now. Demelza is like, \u003cem>That's not a thing. Storming over to Elizabeth's house to make a scene is though! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in France, Hot Waitress can't believe Ross swiped left on her! She gets her revenge by calling the cops on him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hater-raven-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/hater-raven-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"168\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They take Ross to a dark cellar and threaten to imprison or murder him. Ross makes it rain guineas and they quickly change their tune to \u003cem>Ok, cool, no imprisonment or guillotine, but GTFO of France by midnight (and don't forget your glass slipper on the way out).\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Liz, Sam tries to make a deal with Elizabeth: S\u003cem>ave our hip DIY church and god will save your soul! \u003c/em>Elizabeth is like,\u003cem> That's not a thing, but I'll try.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, outside, Drake and Morwenna are doing their looking at each other and away and at each other thing again. This time, it's Geoffrey Charles, and not me, who pops out to basically say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96611\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/just-kiss-you-morons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Malfoy comes home gleeful about all the lives he's ruined. Plus, he got a compliment on his robe too! How nice. Elizabeth shares details of Sam's visit, and Malfoy can sense that she's thinking of poor folk as actual humans again. There's only one way to fix that: make it about Ross and wait for her inner monster to appear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>My dead husband gave them the land. It would be wrong to unlawfully snatch it away from these hipsters for Christ.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Sam is Demelza's brother. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>WHAT??? TWO DEGRESS FROM ROSS?? WHOM I HATE FOR NO GOOD REASON????? OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!! Oh, and yeah, totally take away their clubhouse too.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you who leave comments asking why I hate Elizabeth, this is why.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ross' house, Blondie is like, \u003cem>Ugh, Doc is totally dead. And we only got to have sex twice. \u003c/em>Demelza makes her scrunched-up, worried face again. Chugalug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/amy-schumer-drinking-wine-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/amy-schumer-drinking-wine-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across the Channel, Ross is on a boat heading home. Bone Maraca Pirate is like, \u003cem>Phew! I totally thought I would have to make a new belt maraca with your entire skeleton in it! Glad we're sensible enough to know when to call it quits.\u003c/em> Ross is like, \u003cem>Me? Sensible? Never!!!\u003c/em> He runs to the edge of the ship and jumps. An idea as idiotic as this one:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jump-canonball-ice-ouch-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jump-canonball-ice-ouch-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Days later, Bone Maraca Pirate gives Demelza Ross' hat and tells her what she already knows: her husband is nuts. Demelza makes a scrunched-up, I'm-going-to-murder-him-with-my-own-two-hands face this time. Throw back a shot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/buffy-take-shot-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/buffy-take-shot-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"262\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth is still on a tear about how much she hates Ross. We got the memo, girl. You can give it a rest now. Malfoy proposes a plan: Why don't they take baby Valentine and move to a different town? What a splendid idea! Could my dream of never seeing either of these characters again be realized? Was Sam right all along? Praying works?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jennifer-lawrence-praying-thank-god-jesus-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/jennifer-lawrence-praying-thank-god-jesus-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"494\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to care about leaving Geoffrey Charles behind, before quickly saying, \u003cem>Ah, F it, he'll make do. Let's move today, so I'll never have to see Ross ever again!\u003c/em> This is all very comical, considering that, not only did Ross have nothing to do with the Millennial Christians: UK Chapter, but he's currently hiding in a pile of French hay. Anyway, good riddance!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snow-white-kiss-wave-bye-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snow-white-kiss-wave-bye-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"454\" height=\"324\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza is telling Drake that marriage is a bunch of BS. \"I promised to love, honor, and obey him. And why should I?\" Uh oh, is Demelza's \u003cem>Lemonade\u003c/em> era upon us?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Her first step toward creating a diss album about Ross is giving away one of his storehouses to the Millennials for Christ.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sam:\u003c/strong> \"Brother Ross won't like it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No more than I like certain antics of his. What's his is mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yass-beyonce.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yass-beyonce.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"240\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In France, Ross has managed to leave his pile of hay, thanks to a beanie that renders him invisible. He goes back to the same bar -- dude, maybe pick a different spot? -- and demands a list of prisoner names from his scammer co-conspirator. Alas, the beanie is not actually an invisibility cloak, and Hot Waitress turns him in yet again. \u003cem>You should have couchez'ed avec moi the other soir\u003c/em>, she scolds. Ross takes off his beanie, punches every male in his vicinity in the face, and skedaddles. Run, Forrest, run!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Malfoy gets a letter from some rich dude that says:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Sup? Could you let my son off the hook for assaulting a servant girl? Who cares, amirite? LOL. Thanks! P.S. Isn't classism fun? See you at court! 😉\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Elizabeth finally relents and goes to see Malfoy ruin lives in his pretty robe. He decides to make an example of the servant girl for \"perjury\" and for daring to stand up for her civil rights. Elizabeth is absolutely shocked by this injustice. I really don't get why she's constantly surprised by Malfoy's evil ways. He literally does at least one terrible thing every 7 minutes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Demelza (with scrunched-up, worried face in full effect; drink!) and Blondie agree that their husbands are most likely dead. But all is not lost! Now ball and chain free, they could hit the road and star in \u003cem>Thelma and Louise: The Prequel\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"464\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1020x740.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-160x116.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-800x581.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-768x557.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-1180x856.png 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-960x697.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-240x174.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-375x272.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM-520x377.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Screen-Shot-2017-10-07-at-11.01.09-PM.png 1196w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Elizabeth is randomly taking Xanax in liquid form, with a side of booze. It's lucky for her there's little to no heavy machinery invented yet for her to operate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the beach, Drake, Morwenna, and Geoffrey Charles are on yet another throuple date. Just leave him at home! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the farm, a pregnant Demelza is picking up heavy pieces of wood and cursing Ross in her head... until she hears horse hooves. It's Ross! All is forgiven 'cause his curls have never looked better and his face isn't bad either!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96642\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/sailor-moon-heart-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"366\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross managed to snatch a list of British soldiers taken prisoner, and Doc's name is on it! What the list fails to mention is that Doc is rocking a killer beard now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Jesus Lovers \"R\" Us, all the young, hip Christians are making sure their new space adheres to feng shui principles. A random girl shoots Drake a loaded look that says, \u003cem>I kiss before marriage\u003c/em>. Drake sends a look back that says, \u003cem>I'm flattered, but I'm already dating a girl and her eight-year-old companion, sorry!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, the yay-you-weren't-decapitated-in-France honeymoon period is over. Ross is chastising Demelza for letting her brothers turn his shed into a home base for their cult. Who gave her permission to do such a thing?! Season 1 Demelza might have allowed this kind of behavior, but Season 3 Demelza is not having it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Other women may bow and scrape and ask permission, as I once did, but no longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yas-queen-ilana-broad-city-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96646\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/yas-queen-ilana-broad-city-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"376\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then something truly shocking happens. More shocking than Francis being murdered by a random puddle last season. More shocking than Horace the Pug not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">ROSS\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">ADMITS\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">HE'S\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">WRONG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Ow0L1.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/Ow0L1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"606\" height=\"432\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/danny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mr-bean-tea-cup-drop-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96632\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/mr-bean-tea-cup-drop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bbQ3_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/bbQ3_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this will probably never happen again, Demelza and Ross decide to celebrate this once-in-a-lifetime moment by having dirty sex.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Drama World Series: Vote for Your Favorite TV Show!",
"title": "Drama World Series: Vote for Your Favorite TV Show!",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Championships! Parades! Tailgate booze fests! It seems like sports fans are always having all the fun. But what about those of us who prefer a well-crafted mystery or a clever period drama? Where's our competition worthy of eating guacamole and guzzling shots on a truck bed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questions like these inspired us to create the Drama World Series, a three-week bracket smackdown between eight of your most beloved television shows. The victor will get an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Representing \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">Poldark\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, Ross is shirtless (when isn't he?) and ready to rumble:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96447\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But don't count out \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">Victoria\u003c/a>. Have you seen her crumple a piece of paper to death?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_olhydaoxNn1w10zz1o2_540.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries’\u003c/em> namesake is armed, dangerous, and open to stabbing her opponent, if need be:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96448\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/stab3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sherlock is understandably scared, but ready to kick his way to victory:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96449\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_n770ozeVfB1rzik3go1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't let Anne of Green Gables' youthful innocence fool you. She \u003cem>will\u003c/em> smash something over your head:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96450\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/16204558.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"384\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey’\u003c/em>\u003c/a>s Dowager Countess would very much like to see her try:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/downtonfencing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like Ross Poldark, \u003cem>Grantchester’\u003c/em>s Sidney is also hoping his shirtlessness gives him an advantage:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96453\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/grantchester-shirt-off.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"619\" height=\"382\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That doesn't impress \u003cem>Prime Suspect’\u003c/em>s Jane Tennison much:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96452\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_nkj4iqhIX81s1wohwo9_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So step up to the plate and vote for your favorite in this first round of matchups!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-96441 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-768x768.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-960x960.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-240x240.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-375x375.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-520x520.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-50x50.png 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-128x128.png 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9841632]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-96442 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-768x768.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-960x960.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-240x240.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-375x375.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-520x520.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-50x50.png 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-128x128.png 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Miss_Fisher_vs_Sherlock-01-1-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9841613]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-96443 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-768x768.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-960x960.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-240x240.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-375x375.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-520x520.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-50x50.png 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-64x64.png 64w, 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Need to kill time between now and then? \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Championships! Parades! Tailgate booze fests! It seems like sports fans are always having all the fun. But what about those of us who prefer a well-crafted mystery or a clever period drama? Where's our competition worthy of eating guacamole and guzzling shots on a truck bed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Questions like these inspired us to create the Drama World Series, a three-week bracket smackdown between eight of your most beloved television shows. The victor will get an all-day marathon on KQED PLUS on Sunday, October 29, 2017.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Representing \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">Poldark\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, Ross is shirtless (when isn't he?) and ready to rumble:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96447\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/5166520_15-reasons-why-poldarks-aidan-turner_t38c8705b.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But don't count out \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">Victoria\u003c/a>. Have you seen her crumple a piece of paper to death?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96446\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_olhydaoxNn1w10zz1o2_540.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"241\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries’\u003c/em> namesake is armed, dangerous, and open to stabbing her opponent, if need be:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96448\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/stab3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sherlock is understandably scared, but ready to kick his way to victory:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96449\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_n770ozeVfB1rzik3go1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"295\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Don't let Anne of Green Gables' youthful innocence fool you. She \u003cem>will\u003c/em> smash something over your head:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96450\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/16204558.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"384\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey’\u003c/em>\u003c/a>s Dowager Countess would very much like to see her try:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96451\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/downtonfencing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"303\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like Ross Poldark, \u003cem>Grantchester’\u003c/em>s Sidney is also hoping his shirtlessness gives him an advantage:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-96453\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/grantchester-shirt-off.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"619\" height=\"382\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That doesn't impress \u003cem>Prime Suspect’\u003c/em>s Jane Tennison much:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-96452\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/tumblr_nkj4iqhIX81s1wohwo9_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So step up to the plate and vote for your favorite in this first round of matchups!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-96441 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Poldark_vs_Victoria-01-1-768x768.png 768w, 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srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-768x768.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-960x960.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-240x240.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-375x375.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-520x520.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-50x50.png 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-128x128.png 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Anne_vs_Downton-01-1-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9841622]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"size-large wp-image-96444 aligncenter\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2.png 1000w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2-160x160.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2-800x800.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2-768x768.png 768w, 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https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/09/Prime_Suspects_vs_Grantchester-01-2-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9841626]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Make sure to come back on Monday to find out the results and vote in Round 2! Need to kill time between now and then? \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catch up on our recaps\u003c/a> of \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria/\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, and \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\">\u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"info": "KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.",
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},
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"info": "KQED’s statewide radio news program providing daily coverage of issues, trends and public policy decisions.",
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"order": 8
},
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"airtime": "SUN 1pm-2pm, TUE 10pm, WED 1am",
"meta": {
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"source": "City Arts & Lectures"
},
"link": "https://www.cityarts.net",
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"order": 1
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"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
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"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
"link": "/radio/program/commonwealth-club",
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"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 9
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"hidden-brain": {
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"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
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"source": "NPR"
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"how-i-built-this": {
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"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
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"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
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"hyphenacion": {
"id": "hyphenacion",
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"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"order": 15
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"jerrybrown": {
"id": "jerrybrown",
"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"order": 18
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},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
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"source": "npr"
},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
}
},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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"rss": "https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"
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},
"masters-of-scale": {
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"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
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"source": "WaitWhat"
},
"link": "/radio/program/masters-of-scale",
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"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
"tagline": "A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids",
"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/mindshift/",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 12
},
"link": "/podcasts/mindshift",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
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}
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