The Best Quotes from Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess, Queen of Shade

This piece was inspired by an episode of The Cooler. Give it a listen!


Over the past six years, I've had a love-hate relationship with Downton Abbey. Like with most romances, things started off hot and heavy, but eventually cooled way down (my turning point: when they killed off Sybil, the woman responsible for making harem-pants and marrying poor, hot dudes fashionable). But, through all the recycled storylines (Bates is in trouble with the law...again! Edith is unlucky in love...again!) and snoozy B-plots (the old people argue over a hospital merger...for 7 whole episodes!), there was one shining light that kept me watching: the Dowager Countess. Before this often great/sometimes terrible show rides off into the sunset, let's take a moment to give credit where credit is due and appreciate her finest moments:

Wh-what is being wrong?

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If they aren't insulted the first time, try, try again:

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The Godfather prequel:

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You thought she needed the walking stick for stability but it was a weapon this whole time:

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That time she saw Mary's new bob haircut for the first time:

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When she called her own son a waiter:

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The time she first encountered electricity:

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Or that time she sat in a swivel chair for the first time:

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Always there to remind you to have some dignity:

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Cajoling, the hard way:

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Always telling people exactly what they need to hear:

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Talk to you never, dude:

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#DealWithIt:

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Keeping religion going, one rude thought at a time:

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If the queen of all snobs tells you to stop being snobby, you might want to reevaluate some things:

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Gird your loins:

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Not wasting any time:

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She invented ghosting:

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Putting your saintly martyrdom on notice:

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I don't like talking on the phone either:

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Who run the world? Girls! (But mostly the Dowager Countess):

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#1 fan of drama:

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Nose up, guns out:

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In summary:

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Bless you, Dowager Countess, for every beautiful thing you've ever said. I'm so glad you're immortal and will never die.

Still want more Downton Abbey?

Listen to this episode of The Cooler, which features some quotes from this post and a quiz!

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You can also take said quiz yourself:

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And we have much more Downton-related content, like recaps, guides and mixtapes:

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http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/5-authentic-anglophile-experiences-in-the-bay-area-for-downton-abbey-fans

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