Wendy Murphy: When It Is Time to Say Goodbye
Wendy Murphy shares about the pain of losing a beloved family pet.
If you’ve ever had a pet, you know the profound impact they can have on a family. As they grow old their unconditional love seems even more generous, which is why their end of life can be so hard. With our current pet, we will probably have to decide when that end will be, and that makes it especially difficult.
I picked up our then-one-year-old yellow Labrador from a stranger in a parking lot an hour from our house. The dog needed a home because he was too big and uncontrollable for the family to keep.
Now here we are, 14 years later, and he has been the most steadfast dream come true. He’s always there to lean on during hard times, always eager for any adventure. As he faces increasingly difficult physical and cognitive issues, we’re trying to keep him comfortable, decide what interventions make sense, and balance all that with any suffering in mind.
When he is rolling in the grass, wagging his tail, or eager to walk and sniff, we know we should keep going. When he looks confused, is slow to get up, or experiences discomfort that medication can’t relieve, it weighs heavily on us.
Years ago, I read an article about animal euthanasia and the impossible task of trying to plan the right time to end a life. I remember a comment that said, when faced with this heavy responsibility, we have three outcomes: before it is the right time, the exact right time, and when it is too late. The author noted that most people worry so much about doing it too soon, and wait too long as a result.
Our dog has brought us unimaginable gifts. We definitely don’t want to prolong any suffering, so we’re left with the painful reality of euthanizing before that exact right time — and we think that’s the final, most generous gift we can give our beloved Charlie. With a Perspective, I’m Wendy Murphy.
Wendy Murphy supports seniors and their families with financial and health-related challenges. She lives in Marin County.