Jeevan Gillon: Longing for Approval

Jeevan Gillon shares about learning to set healthy boundaries.

“If I’m not outstanding, am I invisible?” This question began as a quiet whisper inside my head, only to grow into a deafening roar as I stepped into the school hallways. To drown out these whispers, I constantly put others before myself to feel validated. I was willing to completely drain my own energy to buy a fleeting moment of approval.

I’ve always found myself doing the most for others at my own expense. Taking on the most grueling, burdensome responsibilities like managing entire group projects alone or doing homework for classmates who didn’t pay attention in class, solely to gain their approval. This mindset peaked when a friend recently asked for a favor, pleading for me to completely re-write and adjust their speech. 

Even as I drowned in an avalanche of my own work, the craving for validation took over, and I plastered on a smile, saying, “Don’t even worry about it.” That choice left me staring at a blinking cursor at 12:00 am, my eyes burning as I finally started my own assignments under the harsh glare of my desk lamp. I wasn’t just tired; I was hollow, and deeply resentful of my own inability to say the word no. Noticing the light still on under my door, my parents quietly slipped into the room, knelt beside my chair, and reminded me that my time, energy and mental health mattered just as much as anyone else’s. 

Their grounding perspective gave me the courage to stop overcomplicating things and simply prioritize myself. So, when another request landed in my inbox the following week, I took a deep breath, embraced growth, and drew a clear line in the sand. Ultimately, drawing that line isn’t about shutting others out; it is an act of profound self-respect. 

We must realize that our worth isn’t determined by temporary validation. By choosing to prioritize ourselves and establish firm, healthy, boundaries we stop shrinking to accommodate everyone else’s demands. With a Perspective, I’m Jeevan Gillon.

Jeevan Gillon is a middle school student in the Central Valley; an aspiring biomedical scientist and dedicated volleyball player who thrives at the intersection of community and discovery.