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"content": "\u003cp>Forgiving Justin Bieber has been a surprisingly brief process. Since the floppy-haired wunderkind released his latest round of absurdly catchy tracks -- including \"Sorry\" (you might have heard it, oh, three or four hundred times, or even \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/24/watch-justin-biebers-sorry-flash-mob-take-over-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">taken part in a flash mob \u003c/a>dance to it) -- humans of all ages have been shrugging and carrying on like Biebs wasn't one of the most hated celebrities in the country just a few short months ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The years between 2013 and 2015 were terrible for Justin Bieber, and that was, we understood, all his own fault. This kid's abhorrent behavior was performed for a prolonged period, and on an impressively global scale.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21237\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-21237\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"The infamous mug shot: not exactly the face of remorse.\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The infamous mug shot: not exactly the face of remorse.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>At home, there was the egging of a neighbor's house. There was \u003ca href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/showbiz/justin-bieber-arrest/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">drag racing under the influence in Miami\u003c/a>, a subsequent arrest and now-famously unrepentant mugshot. In Canada, there was a charge against him for assaulting a limo driver and claims that he spat on his own fans from a hotel balcony. In London, he grabbed a photographer’s camera and ever so eloquently declared: \"I’ll f*cking beat the f*ck out of you.” In Amsterdam, there were \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/04/15/dear-justin-bieber-a-letter-from-anne-frank/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">astonishingly insensitive comments about Anne Frank\u003c/a>. In New York, he was filmed simultaneously peeing into a bucket and\u003ca href=\"http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/07/11/justin-bieber-apologizes-bill-clinton-pee-bucket-video/2507957/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> insulting Bill Clinton\u003c/a>. In Australia, he left crappy graffiti on a hotel wall. There was even, in a \u003cem>Spinal Tap\u003c/em>-worthy twist, callous \u003ca href=\"http://gawker.com/zookeeper-justin-bieber-left-his-illegal-monkey-fright-1666887438\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">pet-monkey-abandonment\u003c/a> in Germany.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Justin Bieber was, without question, a major brat with too much money and too little supervision. The emergence of excruciating videos of him using racist slurs early on in his career only served to prove this point further.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case that wasn’t enough, the people he surrounded himself with during that time did not help matters. Tales of crewmembers trying to sneak weed through Australian customs emerged. Bodyguards allegedly started fights in English venues and used heavy-handed approaches with fans. And through it all, Bieber strutted around in those weird-diaper pants of his, self-satisfied smirk on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21229\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-21229\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-400x400.jpg\" alt=\"Bieber, in said weird diaper-pants. \" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-75x75.jpg 75w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bieber, in said weird diaper-pants.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>So how in the hell is Bieber back in America’s favor so quickly? It’s not because of his spouting of religious texts on Instagram, or his \u003ca href=\"http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/09/justin-bieber-baptized_n_5473568.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">desperate baptism in NBA star Tyson Chandler’s bathtub\u003c/a> (which seemed about as authentic as the time Paris Hilton showed up to jail carrying a Bible). It’s not even because he showed us a photo of his perfectly formed bottom (though that didn’t hurt, in the grand scheme of things).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, there have been several important steps that have put Bieber back in our good graces. First of all, he paid $80,000 restitution to his egging victim. Not only does this seem like a pretty good pay day for a few propelled dairy products, but the knowledge that Bieber’s neighbor had been asking for $1 million in damages after the incident, made us understand a little bit why Bieber might have wanted to throw eggs in this guy’s direction in the first place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, of course, there was a major ally in the form of Ellen DeGeneres. The universally adored host of \u003cem>Ellen\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"http://www.ellentv.com/tags/JustinBieber/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">invited her friend Justin onto her popular daytime show repeatedly\u003c/a> throughout 2015, and presented the young singer as fun-loving, self-deprecating and humble. At one stage, she even put him in the same room as Seth Rogen, who had\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/sethrogen/status/426418298637406208\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> recently Tweeted\u003c/a>: \"Justin Bieber is a piece of sh*t.\" Rogen subsequently apologized on the air. And so did Justin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egXDTfOHcPE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The real turning point came when J.B. volunteered to be the subject of a Comedy Central roast, throughout which he laughed warmly and genuinely, even while being called a \"bitch\" by Shaquille O'Neal, \"a piece of shit\" by Natasha Leggero and being informed by SNL’s Pete Davidson: \"I lost my dad on 9/11, and I always regretted growing up without a dad -- until I met your dad, Justin.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which leads us to a major forgiveness factor: Jeremy Bieber. Justin’s father -- who looks a bit like the sort of caricature a cartoonist might come up with if asked to draw a frat bro douchelord -- not only has a checkered past legally (convictions for assault, probation breaking and apartment trashing) but he was largely absent from his son’s life until Justin got famous. Jeremy was present for a number of his son’s infractions, including the Miami drag racing. On another occasion, he and his son filled a private plane with so much marijuana smoke, the pilots had to wear oxygen masks to land the plane safely. When TMZ published proof that Justin was even paying this idiot’s rent, a ripple of sympathy and understanding flowed around the country and swelled into a fully-fledged wave after Bieber\u003ca href=\"http://www.mtv.com/news/2260489/justin-bieber-explains-vma-crying/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> broke down in tears on stage at last year’s VMAs\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, as a nation, America is a remarkably forgiving place. We want to see young, talented people do well. We might love to watch a good car crash, but we enjoy it a lot more when the people involved get out with no permanent injuries. Everyone might have obsessively watched every step of Britney’s breakdown, but\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/09/the-redemptive-power-of-britney-spears-instagram/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> we love it even more now that there’s a happy ending\u003c/a>. More than that, if you consider the fact that Chris Brown still has a career after brutally beating one of the most popular female singers in the country, it’s not a stretch for someone like Justin Bieber to get granted a clean slate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Justin turned 22 this month, and appears to have put the bad behavior behind him (those willing to cough up \u003ca href=\"http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/tix/5492806492.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">roughly $250 per ticket can judge for themselves\u003c/a> this Friday, March 18 in Oakland). But as a nation, one thing's clear: It's much more fun for us to focus on his undeniable talent than it is to hate him for living out his hormone-addled teenage years in the public eye -- especially when moving on sounds so good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG0OIice9to\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Forgiving Justin Bieber has been a surprisingly brief process. Since the floppy-haired wunderkind released his latest round of absurdly catchy tracks -- including \"Sorry\" (you might have heard it, oh, three or four hundred times, or even \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/24/watch-justin-biebers-sorry-flash-mob-take-over-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">taken part in a flash mob \u003c/a>dance to it) -- humans of all ages have been shrugging and carrying on like Biebs wasn't one of the most hated celebrities in the country just a few short months ago.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The years between 2013 and 2015 were terrible for Justin Bieber, and that was, we understood, all his own fault. This kid's abhorrent behavior was performed for a prolonged period, and on an impressively global scale.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21237\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-21237\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600-400x300.jpg\" alt=\"The infamous mug shot: not exactly the face of remorse.\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600-400x300.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/justin-bieber-mug-600.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">The infamous mug shot: not exactly the face of remorse.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>At home, there was the egging of a neighbor's house. There was \u003ca href=\"http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/23/showbiz/justin-bieber-arrest/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">drag racing under the influence in Miami\u003c/a>, a subsequent arrest and now-famously unrepentant mugshot. In Canada, there was a charge against him for assaulting a limo driver and claims that he spat on his own fans from a hotel balcony. In London, he grabbed a photographer’s camera and ever so eloquently declared: \"I’ll f*cking beat the f*ck out of you.” In Amsterdam, there were \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/04/15/dear-justin-bieber-a-letter-from-anne-frank/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">astonishingly insensitive comments about Anne Frank\u003c/a>. In New York, he was filmed simultaneously peeing into a bucket and\u003ca href=\"http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/07/11/justin-bieber-apologizes-bill-clinton-pee-bucket-video/2507957/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> insulting Bill Clinton\u003c/a>. In Australia, he left crappy graffiti on a hotel wall. There was even, in a \u003cem>Spinal Tap\u003c/em>-worthy twist, callous \u003ca href=\"http://gawker.com/zookeeper-justin-bieber-left-his-illegal-monkey-fright-1666887438\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">pet-monkey-abandonment\u003c/a> in Germany.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Justin Bieber was, without question, a major brat with too much money and too little supervision. The emergence of excruciating videos of him using racist slurs early on in his career only served to prove this point further.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case that wasn’t enough, the people he surrounded himself with during that time did not help matters. Tales of crewmembers trying to sneak weed through Australian customs emerged. Bodyguards allegedly started fights in English venues and used heavy-handed approaches with fans. And through it all, Bieber strutted around in those weird-diaper pants of his, self-satisfied smirk on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21229\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-21229\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-400x400.jpg\" alt=\"Bieber, in said weird diaper-pants. \" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117-75x75.jpg 75w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/117.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bieber, in said weird diaper-pants.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>So how in the hell is Bieber back in America’s favor so quickly? It’s not because of his spouting of religious texts on Instagram, or his \u003ca href=\"http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/09/justin-bieber-baptized_n_5473568.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">desperate baptism in NBA star Tyson Chandler’s bathtub\u003c/a> (which seemed about as authentic as the time Paris Hilton showed up to jail carrying a Bible). It’s not even because he showed us a photo of his perfectly formed bottom (though that didn’t hurt, in the grand scheme of things).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, there have been several important steps that have put Bieber back in our good graces. First of all, he paid $80,000 restitution to his egging victim. Not only does this seem like a pretty good pay day for a few propelled dairy products, but the knowledge that Bieber’s neighbor had been asking for $1 million in damages after the incident, made us understand a little bit why Bieber might have wanted to throw eggs in this guy’s direction in the first place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, of course, there was a major ally in the form of Ellen DeGeneres. The universally adored host of \u003cem>Ellen\u003c/em> \u003ca href=\"http://www.ellentv.com/tags/JustinBieber/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">invited her friend Justin onto her popular daytime show repeatedly\u003c/a> throughout 2015, and presented the young singer as fun-loving, self-deprecating and humble. At one stage, she even put him in the same room as Seth Rogen, who had\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/sethrogen/status/426418298637406208\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> recently Tweeted\u003c/a>: \"Justin Bieber is a piece of sh*t.\" Rogen subsequently apologized on the air. And so did Justin.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/egXDTfOHcPE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/egXDTfOHcPE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>The real turning point came when J.B. volunteered to be the subject of a Comedy Central roast, throughout which he laughed warmly and genuinely, even while being called a \"bitch\" by Shaquille O'Neal, \"a piece of shit\" by Natasha Leggero and being informed by SNL’s Pete Davidson: \"I lost my dad on 9/11, and I always regretted growing up without a dad -- until I met your dad, Justin.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Which leads us to a major forgiveness factor: Jeremy Bieber. Justin’s father -- who looks a bit like the sort of caricature a cartoonist might come up with if asked to draw a frat bro douchelord -- not only has a checkered past legally (convictions for assault, probation breaking and apartment trashing) but he was largely absent from his son’s life until Justin got famous. Jeremy was present for a number of his son’s infractions, including the Miami drag racing. On another occasion, he and his son filled a private plane with so much marijuana smoke, the pilots had to wear oxygen masks to land the plane safely. When TMZ published proof that Justin was even paying this idiot’s rent, a ripple of sympathy and understanding flowed around the country and swelled into a fully-fledged wave after Bieber\u003ca href=\"http://www.mtv.com/news/2260489/justin-bieber-explains-vma-crying/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> broke down in tears on stage at last year’s VMAs\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Truthfully, as a nation, America is a remarkably forgiving place. We want to see young, talented people do well. We might love to watch a good car crash, but we enjoy it a lot more when the people involved get out with no permanent injuries. Everyone might have obsessively watched every step of Britney’s breakdown, but\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/09/the-redemptive-power-of-britney-spears-instagram/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> we love it even more now that there’s a happy ending\u003c/a>. More than that, if you consider the fact that Chris Brown still has a career after brutally beating one of the most popular female singers in the country, it’s not a stretch for someone like Justin Bieber to get granted a clean slate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Justin turned 22 this month, and appears to have put the bad behavior behind him (those willing to cough up \u003ca href=\"http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/tix/5492806492.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">roughly $250 per ticket can judge for themselves\u003c/a> this Friday, March 18 in Oakland). But as a nation, one thing's clear: It's much more fun for us to focus on his undeniable talent than it is to hate him for living out his hormone-addled teenage years in the public eye -- especially when moving on sounds so good.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IG0OIice9to'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IG0OIice9to'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "Emily Heller on Swifties, Women's History Month, and Never Reading the Comments",
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"content": "\u003cp>The first time I saw Emily Heller's sweetly acerbic, totally self-deprecating, 100 percent hilarious standup, it was in 2013, with her debut on \u003cem>Conan -- \u003c/em>and at the risk of sounding over-the-top, it felt triumphant. This was pre-\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>, mind you; regular girls who were dorky, smoked weed, and called the world like they saw it were not exactly the talk of the televised town.\u003cbr>\n[contextly_sidebar id=\"29btwdHV680jjo2JVHeQiJPsq7xq7Cgd\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward just three years, and Heller, an Alameda native and UC Santa Cruz alum who now lives in LA, is enjoying a well-deserved rise to fame. Her acting and writing credits include \u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer, Chelsea Lately, BoJack Horseman, Ground Floor \u003c/em>and more, while her first album, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://emilyheller.bandcamp.com/album/good-for-her\" target=\"_blank\">Good For Her\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, was released by Kill Rockstars in November.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Heller returns home to do three nights at the Punch Line in San Francisco next week, March 17 - 19, as she has many times before, for the club's slate of all-female lineups for Women's History Month. So we called her up to chat.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1gRMTFZLSY\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED Pop:\u003c/strong> Happy Women’s History Month! How are you celebrating?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Emily Heller:\u003c/strong> Thank you! Well, it’s one of those things where like, there’s not a Women’s History Month \u003cem>festival\u003c/em>, right? Lilith Fair is in the summer, so I don’t know what the other traditions are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, look, it’s the broadest category in the world, it’s half the people on the planet. But the Punch Line show...it is nice, as a comedian, that Women’s History Month is there once a year to say “Hey, here’s a way to market this.” It's great that they do all-women features. I think a lot of people don’t like all-female lineups, but I can say that as a performer, nothing makes me feel like women onstage are diverse than having us be the only ones up there. Because you do get kind of freed from feeling like you’re representing your gender, which can happen when you’re the only female comic in a lineup.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have \u003ca href=\"http://www.cc.com/video-clips/zv6u26/john-oliver-s-new-york-stand-up-show-feminism-is-not-very-fun\" target=\"_blank\">a bit on the album about feminism\u003c/a> and its marketing problem, and I know you've been doing it for a while. I’m curious if and how that joke has changed over the years?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I wrote that joke, I wasn’t thinking about ‘Oh, I’m gonna talk about something that’s gonna be really divisive.’ I had just started standup, just moved to San Francisco after being at UC Santa Cruz, and the thought didn’t cross my mind that talking about [feminism] would be weird to anyone. It is interesting, because in the years since I first started telling that joke, it’s gotten harder and harder to perform it, and that’s great, because it’s a joke that contends with people having trouble with the idea of feminism. It’s getting destigmatized by our culture now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mph1plzp1_Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You did an installment of \u003ca href=\"http://www.avclub.com/article/emily-heller-taylor-swifts-slut-shaming-you-belong-227958\" target=\"_blank\">The \u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://www.avclub.com/article/emily-heller-taylor-swifts-slut-shaming-you-belong-227958\" target=\"_blank\">AV Club’s HateSong\u003c/a>, where you talked about how Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” drives you crazy. Because it’s Taylor Swift, and because it’s the Internet, I’m assuming you got a ton of sh*t for that?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I got \u003cem>so\u003c/em> much sh*t for that. I’m less careful with my words in a phone interview than I am in person, so I felt kinda bad about the way some things were worded. Having said that, I still think that song is, like, brutally anti-feminist. I do hate it for that reason. \u003cem>That\u003c/em> said, I do sing along to it when it comes on, and I do love that she’s giving Kesha money right now. I love that feminism is now a commercially viable position for pop stars to take.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So what did you hear from the Swifties?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, they came after me on Instagram. They came after me on Twitter. One of them pretended to be me on Twitter -- they started a fake Emily Heller Twitter account, and it was very confusing because they kept switching from speaking in the first person to the third person. I got them suspended so I can’t look it up, and I don’t remember the exact wording but it was, like, stuff about how I’ll s**k a d**k for 25 cents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Wow.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[Laughs.] Yeah. It was tight. I was like, wow, they really nailed my brand. How is anyone gonna know this isn’t me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you have a thick skin for that kind of thing, having been in the public eye for a bit now? It seems like an unfortunate reality for women whose work is on the Internet. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, I’m a sensitive little flower. I mean, I act kinda tough, and I know objectively that most people on the Internet are doing an impression of themselves at their worst, so I know better than to take it seriously. At the same time, that stuff will keep me up at night. Any clip on the Internet of a woman doing standup is gonna have comments on it saying “women aren’t funny,” and it’s just tiresome. What I take harder is people I respect -- if someone smart is disagreeing with me on something. I didn’t care about the Taylor Swift fans who got mad at me for that article; they were at least taking me the right way. But if someone is thinking I’m anti-feminist?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s really hard for me to deal with Internet comments. I stopped reading YouTube comments years ago; I installed a blocker because I don't even have the self-control not to read them. I do feel like being a little bit more public has kind of motivated me to check out of the national conversation at times, which could be good and could be bad. There are days when I feel like I can handle seeing how horrible the world is and days when I can’t -- I kind of think every time you sign into the Internet, you should be able to opt out of different things based on how capable you feel that day. Like “yes, I can handle that,” or “no, I can’t, just show me puppies.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I would use that. That would do really well.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silicon Valley! I know you’re reading this. Someone out there with money: Let’s make it happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I saw you open for \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> when they were in San Francisco with their live show in 2014. How did that come about?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love those girls a lot, and that is quite possibly my favorite show on television. They knew I was gonna be in town for Thanksgiving, so it worked out. It has been really cool to see how much people are responding to that show -- I remember it wasn’t that long ago that if you wanted to sell a show to Comedy Central with women in front, it was an uphill battle.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeBPmu8mDxI\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I’m sure you’re sick of hearing questions like “So! Regular girls on TV, who smoke pot…!” But it is interesting to me that it seems like this dam just burst in the past couple of years with cool young women in comedy getting high-profile time slots, their own shows, etc. Do you have any sense of what caused the shift?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think if you’re a person in the real world, with your eyes open, you \u003cem>of course\u003c/em> know those people exist. But most people who work in television aren’t in the real world! ...It’s my feeling that other women are making it happen [for those on their way up]. That show [Broad City] was produced by Amy Poehler, and Amy Poehler made it happen. I mean, obviously those girls are great and they made a great pilot, but you need people above you in the industry who are interested in being that person. And I think we’re just getting to a point now where there are enough successful women who are in a place to do that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A question I ask all Bay Area natives: Where do you make sure to go when you’re home?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s a burrito place called Taqueria Ramiro and Sons in Alameda -- we just called it the burrito place growing up -- but yeah, that’s a must. I’m a sucker for all of the Golden Lotus vegetarian restaurants run by that one cult. I like seeing my parents. Oh, and sometimes I hang out with my debate coach from high school. Lexi, if you’re reading this, I expect you to be there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Emily Heller performs at the Punch Line Comedy Club in San Francisco from March 15 - 27. For tickets and more information, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.punchlinecomedyclub.com/\" target=\"_blank\">www.punchlinecomedyclub.com.\u003c/a>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>The first time I saw Emily Heller's sweetly acerbic, totally self-deprecating, 100 percent hilarious standup, it was in 2013, with her debut on \u003cem>Conan -- \u003c/em>and at the risk of sounding over-the-top, it felt triumphant. This was pre-\u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em>, mind you; regular girls who were dorky, smoked weed, and called the world like they saw it were not exactly the talk of the televised town.\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Fast forward just three years, and Heller, an Alameda native and UC Santa Cruz alum who now lives in LA, is enjoying a well-deserved rise to fame. Her acting and writing credits include \u003cem>Inside Amy Schumer, Chelsea Lately, BoJack Horseman, Ground Floor \u003c/em>and more, while her first album, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://emilyheller.bandcamp.com/album/good-for-her\" target=\"_blank\">Good For Her\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, was released by Kill Rockstars in November.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Heller returns home to do three nights at the Punch Line in San Francisco next week, March 17 - 19, as she has many times before, for the club's slate of all-female lineups for Women's History Month. So we called her up to chat.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/d1gRMTFZLSY'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/d1gRMTFZLSY'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED Pop:\u003c/strong> Happy Women’s History Month! How are you celebrating?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Emily Heller:\u003c/strong> Thank you! Well, it’s one of those things where like, there’s not a Women’s History Month \u003cem>festival\u003c/em>, right? Lilith Fair is in the summer, so I don’t know what the other traditions are.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I mean, look, it’s the broadest category in the world, it’s half the people on the planet. But the Punch Line show...it is nice, as a comedian, that Women’s History Month is there once a year to say “Hey, here’s a way to market this.” It's great that they do all-women features. I think a lot of people don’t like all-female lineups, but I can say that as a performer, nothing makes me feel like women onstage are diverse than having us be the only ones up there. Because you do get kind of freed from feeling like you’re representing your gender, which can happen when you’re the only female comic in a lineup.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You have \u003ca href=\"http://www.cc.com/video-clips/zv6u26/john-oliver-s-new-york-stand-up-show-feminism-is-not-very-fun\" target=\"_blank\">a bit on the album about feminism\u003c/a> and its marketing problem, and I know you've been doing it for a while. I’m curious if and how that joke has changed over the years?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When I wrote that joke, I wasn’t thinking about ‘Oh, I’m gonna talk about something that’s gonna be really divisive.’ I had just started standup, just moved to San Francisco after being at UC Santa Cruz, and the thought didn’t cross my mind that talking about [feminism] would be weird to anyone. It is interesting, because in the years since I first started telling that joke, it’s gotten harder and harder to perform it, and that’s great, because it’s a joke that contends with people having trouble with the idea of feminism. It’s getting destigmatized by our culture now.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/mph1plzp1_Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/mph1plzp1_Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>You did an installment of \u003ca href=\"http://www.avclub.com/article/emily-heller-taylor-swifts-slut-shaming-you-belong-227958\" target=\"_blank\">The \u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://www.avclub.com/article/emily-heller-taylor-swifts-slut-shaming-you-belong-227958\" target=\"_blank\">AV Club’s HateSong\u003c/a>, where you talked about how Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” drives you crazy. Because it’s Taylor Swift, and because it’s the Internet, I’m assuming you got a ton of sh*t for that?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I got \u003cem>so\u003c/em> much sh*t for that. I’m less careful with my words in a phone interview than I am in person, so I felt kinda bad about the way some things were worded. Having said that, I still think that song is, like, brutally anti-feminist. I do hate it for that reason. \u003cem>That\u003c/em> said, I do sing along to it when it comes on, and I do love that she’s giving Kesha money right now. I love that feminism is now a commercially viable position for pop stars to take.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>So what did you hear from the Swifties?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, they came after me on Instagram. They came after me on Twitter. One of them pretended to be me on Twitter -- they started a fake Emily Heller Twitter account, and it was very confusing because they kept switching from speaking in the first person to the third person. I got them suspended so I can’t look it up, and I don’t remember the exact wording but it was, like, stuff about how I’ll s**k a d**k for 25 cents.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Wow.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[Laughs.] Yeah. It was tight. I was like, wow, they really nailed my brand. How is anyone gonna know this isn’t me?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you have a thick skin for that kind of thing, having been in the public eye for a bit now? It seems like an unfortunate reality for women whose work is on the Internet. \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No, I’m a sensitive little flower. I mean, I act kinda tough, and I know objectively that most people on the Internet are doing an impression of themselves at their worst, so I know better than to take it seriously. At the same time, that stuff will keep me up at night. Any clip on the Internet of a woman doing standup is gonna have comments on it saying “women aren’t funny,” and it’s just tiresome. What I take harder is people I respect -- if someone smart is disagreeing with me on something. I didn’t care about the Taylor Swift fans who got mad at me for that article; they were at least taking me the right way. But if someone is thinking I’m anti-feminist?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s really hard for me to deal with Internet comments. I stopped reading YouTube comments years ago; I installed a blocker because I don't even have the self-control not to read them. I do feel like being a little bit more public has kind of motivated me to check out of the national conversation at times, which could be good and could be bad. There are days when I feel like I can handle seeing how horrible the world is and days when I can’t -- I kind of think every time you sign into the Internet, you should be able to opt out of different things based on how capable you feel that day. Like “yes, I can handle that,” or “no, I can’t, just show me puppies.”\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I would use that. That would do really well.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Silicon Valley! I know you’re reading this. Someone out there with money: Let’s make it happen.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I saw you open for \u003cem>Broad City\u003c/em> when they were in San Francisco with their live show in 2014. How did that come about?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I love those girls a lot, and that is quite possibly my favorite show on television. They knew I was gonna be in town for Thanksgiving, so it worked out. It has been really cool to see how much people are responding to that show -- I remember it wasn’t that long ago that if you wanted to sell a show to Comedy Central with women in front, it was an uphill battle.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/zeBPmu8mDxI'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/zeBPmu8mDxI'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>I’m sure you’re sick of hearing questions like “So! Regular girls on TV, who smoke pot…!” But it is interesting to me that it seems like this dam just burst in the past couple of years with cool young women in comedy getting high-profile time slots, their own shows, etc. Do you have any sense of what caused the shift?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I think if you’re a person in the real world, with your eyes open, you \u003cem>of course\u003c/em> know those people exist. But most people who work in television aren’t in the real world! ...It’s my feeling that other women are making it happen [for those on their way up]. That show [Broad City] was produced by Amy Poehler, and Amy Poehler made it happen. I mean, obviously those girls are great and they made a great pilot, but you need people above you in the industry who are interested in being that person. And I think we’re just getting to a point now where there are enough successful women who are in a place to do that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>A question I ask all Bay Area natives: Where do you make sure to go when you’re home?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There’s a burrito place called Taqueria Ramiro and Sons in Alameda -- we just called it the burrito place growing up -- but yeah, that’s a must. I’m a sucker for all of the Golden Lotus vegetarian restaurants run by that one cult. I like seeing my parents. Oh, and sometimes I hang out with my debate coach from high school. Lexi, if you’re reading this, I expect you to be there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Emily Heller performs at the Punch Line Comedy Club in San Francisco from March 15 - 27. For tickets and more information, visit \u003ca href=\"http://www.punchlinecomedyclub.com/\" target=\"_blank\">www.punchlinecomedyclub.com.\u003c/a>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "What Would It Mean to Have a 'Hapa' Bachelorette?",
"title": "What Would It Mean to Have a 'Hapa' Bachelorette?",
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"content": "\u003cp>On a recent episode of \u003cem>The Bachelor,\u003c/em> the ABC dating reality show that ends its 20th season Monday night, contestant Caila Quinn brings Ben Higgins home to meet her interracial family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Have you ever met Filipinos before?\" Quinn's mother asks, leading Higgins into a dining room where the table is filled with traditional Filipino food.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't know,\" he replies. \"No. I don't think so.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As they sit around the adobo and pancit, Quinn's father talks to Higgins, white man to white man. What comes with dating Quinn, the father says, \"is a very special Philippine community.\" Quinn grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I had no idea what I was getting into when I married Caila's mother,\" the father says. But being married to a Filipina, he assures Higgins, has been \"the most fun\" and \"magical.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This scene can be read as an attempt by \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> franchise to dispel criticisms \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/monkeysee/2012/10/16/162992776/a-judge-dismisses-the-bachelor-discrimination-lawsuit-but-not-its-concerns\" target=\"_blank\">(and the memory of a 2012 lawsuit)\u003c/a> concerning its whitewashed casts. It shows how these attempts can be clunky at best, offensive and creepy at worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quinn's run also demonstrates how, as this rose-strewn, fantasy-fueled romance machine tries to include more people of color, diversification looks like biracial Asian-American — often known as \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/12/15/370416571/half-asian-half-white-no-hapa\" target=\"_blank\">hapa\u003c/a>\" — women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Among the 19 women who have won the \"final rose\" since \u003cem>The Bachelor \u003c/em>premiered in 2002, two — Tessa Horst and Catherine Giudici — have been biracial Asian-white. All other winners, aside from Mary Delgado in 2004 who was Cuban-American, appear to have been white. As these \u003ca href=\"http://www.karenx.com/blog/minorities-on-the-bachelor-when-do-they-get-eliminated/\" target=\"_blank\">handy graphics\u003c/a> by writer and video artist Karen X. Cheng show, in the previous seven years, the only women of color who lasted into the final few weeks were of mixed-race Asian-white background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21203\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-21203\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"Christopher Johnson (left) and Nathaniel Claybrooks unsuccessfully sued 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' in 2012, claiming the shows kept contestants of color out of starring roles\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1440x809.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1920x1078.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-960x539.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Christopher Johnson (left) and Nathaniel Claybrooks unsuccessfully sued 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' in 2012, claiming the shows kept contestants of color out of starring roles \u003ccite>(Photo: Mark Humphrey)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Other women of color on \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> tend to follow a familiar pattern: They may face hostility and racial anxieties from other contestants, then disappear from the screen early in the season. The latest example is Jubilee Sharpe, this season's black military veteran who fielded \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2014/04/03/298736678/microaggressions-be-careful-what-you-say\" target=\"_blank\">microaggressions\u003c/a> from other contestants and suffered tension with the two biracial African-American and white women. On the show, these conflicts were coded with euphemisms: Sharpe was \"layered\" and \"complicated\" and \"different.\" Sharpe stuck around longer than most black women, but was still eliminated within the first half of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, ABC executives \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/the-bachelor-bachelorette-black-diverse-contestant-abc-1201676020/\" target=\"_blank\">have hinted\u003c/a> that the next woman to lead the spinoff show \u003cem>The Bachelorette\u003c/em> will be — for the first time — a woman of color. Who is the rumored lucky lady? Caila Quinn, whose father tried and failed to sell Higgins on the advantages of Filipina wives this season. Anointing her as the first bachelorette of color would be a safe, predictable choice for the franchise. Producers could hold Quinn up as proof the shows are changing, while continuing to reflect and reinforce racial stereotypes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To understand why only a narrow group of women of color — biracial Asian-white women — survive in this world is to delve into romantic tropes, the stuff \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is made of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As objects of beauty, these women are benefiting from two helpful stereotypes about female desirability,\" said Ann Morning, associate professor of sociology at New York University. One is whiteness as the persisting standard of beauty. The other is Asian women as sexualized, exotic and submissive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taken alone, the first stereotype can be detrimental. \"Today, being white is often perceived as a kind of boring, colorless identity,\" Morning said. But that stereotype about whiteness can work to balance negative stereotypes about Asian women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lily Anne Welty Tamai, curator of history at the Japanese American National Museum (and a friend of mine), explained where these stereotypes about Asian women come from. The trope of Puccini's 1904 \u003cem>Madama Butterfly\u003c/em> paved the way for American incarnations of a tragic love story between an American soldier and Asian woman in the mid-20th century, when American soldiers brought home war stories — and sometimes brides — from Asia, where women were often part of the conquest. Popular narratives included the 1957 film \u003cem>Sayonara\u003c/em> and the 1989 musical \u003cem>Miss Saigon.\u003c/em> (\"I guess they just never got around to making the Korea version,\" Tamai said.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These stories cemented in the American consciousness the idea of the Asian woman as the foreign sex toy: the geisha, the china doll, the \"me love you long time\" sex worker.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Asian-American women today still experience the wrath of those legacies every day,\" said Joanne Rondilla, a lecturer of Asian Pacific American Studies at Arizona State University. Rondilla pointed to the \"Creepy White Guys\" Tumblr that collected offensive messages sent to Asian-American women via online dating platforms. In a similar vein, last year Mia Matsumiya created an \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/perv_magnet/\" target=\"_blank\">Instagram account\u003c/a> to post the thousand-plus \"messages from creeps, weirdos & fetishists\" she's received over the past decade. My personal favorite calling out of these dating dynamics is comedian Kristina Wong's incredible \u003ca href=\"http://myx.tv/show/video/latest/episode1-i-m-asian-american-and-i-want-reparations-for-yellow-fever\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>I'm Asian American and...\u003c/em> episode\u003c/a> in which she collects \"reparations for yellow fever\" on dates with white men.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, producers exercised these stereotypes about Asian-American women the last time they cast a single-race Asian-American woman. In 2010, contestant Channy Choch was introduced to viewers and bachelor Jake Pavelka with her inviting him in Cambodian to have sex with her. Later, she laughingly spoke to the camera about how Pavelka \"needs a little bit of Cambodian fever.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All her moments on screen highlight her Cambodian heritage and her sexual desires — usually both at once, drawing a link between these,\" Rachel Dubrofsky told me by email. Dubrofsky, associate professor of communication at the University of South Florida, wrote \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/The-Surveillance-Women-Reality-Television/dp/0739164988\" target=\"_blank\">a book\u003c/a> analyzing \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> franchise, and found that women of color win the prize of a proposal only when their \"racial difference is treated as not only unimportant, but as nonexistent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's exciting on Tinder, the show communicates, becomes unacceptable when matrimony is involved. \"If this show was called \u003cem>The Hookup\u003c/em>, and contestants were having one-night stands, we'd see more racially diverse pools of people,\" Morning said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mixed-race Asian-white women become the perfect vehicles for diversity on this show because they are \"white enough to present to the family,\" as Morning said, while still being exotic enough to fill a quota. Morning suggested they also get a boost from the model minority myth and the recent idea that being multiracial is \"cool.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until this season's Quinn family dinner scene, the ethnic identities of \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/12/15/370416571/half-asian-half-white-no-hapa\" target=\"_blank\">hapa women\u003c/a> have been largely unremarked upon onscreen. Instead, only a vague, alluring, comfortable kind of distinction might be mentioned. \"She was different,\" \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/01/06/260119028/the-first-latino-bachelor-makes-his-debut\" target=\"_blank\">bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis\u003c/a> said of contestant Sharleen Joynt, a Chinese-Canadian opera singer from season 18. \"She was elegant, and I was, like, surprised. She was so classy. And she's sexy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside the final media product presented by makers of the show, more explicit exotification can happen. In 2007, bachelor Andy Baldwin chose Tessa Horst as his final pick. Throughout the season, Horst's Chinese-white background is never mentioned and, as Dubrofsky noted, \"is only briefly apparent during the hometown date where her [Asian] mom appears. ... Her mom, however, barely speaks, and is mostly seen in the background.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only after the season had ended did we glimpse how Horst's race might have played into her relationship with Baldwin. At a press conference in Waikiki, \u003ca href=\"http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/26/AR2007052600267.html\" target=\"_blank\"> Baldwin said of his choice\u003c/a>, \"I always say the mutts are the most exotic and beautiful.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is the kind of comment mixed-race Asian-American women contend with outside the sanitized space of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. \"We're exotified for being mixed,\" said Athena Mari Asklipiadis, a board member at Multiracial Americans of Southern California. \"If a man has an Asian fetish, he'll play that up in what he sees in me.\" She said fetishization also can come from Asian-American men who see her whiteness as exotic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If Caila Quinn is cast as the first bachelorette of color, producers will probably continue to omit thornier realities. Her casting could represent some form of progress, though, if producers continue to highlight her Filipina heritage, however awkwardly. Portraying an Asian-American woman as the ultimate marriage material — and not as a sexualized joke — could signal a step toward better humanizing people of color in this space. But it also could be just another spin on the \"model minority\" myth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there's the question of how diverse her suitors would be. A bachelorette of color presents a dilemma for producers: either an interracial romance — still controversial to some viewers — or a relationship in which neither person is white (who will the white audience relate to?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Myra Washington, assistant professor of communication at the University of New Mexico, predicted an increase in black contestants if Quinn becomes the bachelorette. \"Not Wesley Snipes black, because this is still TV,\" she said. She guessed there would be more mixed-race African-Americans, brown-skinned men, Latinos. But colonial legacies and systems of power die hard. \"I think she'll ultimately end up with a white dude,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://akemijohnson.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Akemi Johnson\u003c/a> is a writer whose work has appeared in \u003c/em>The Nation\u003cem>, \u003c/em>The Journal\u003cem> and \u003c/em>The Asian American Literary Review\u003cem>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=What+Would+It+Mean+To+Have+A+%27Hapa%27+Bachelorette%3F&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\" alt=\"\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">For more deep analysis of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, listen to this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>:\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\n\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/246677395&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\n\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "ABC is set to announce a new lead for \u003cem>The \u003c/em>\u003cem>Bachelorette \u003c/em>on Monday night. But would choosing Caila Quinn, who is Asian and white, be a sign of progress in casting diversity or something else?",
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"description": "ABC is set to announce a new lead for The Bachelorette on Monday night. But would choosing Caila Quinn, who is Asian and white, be a sign of progress in casting diversity or something else?",
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"headline": "What Would It Mean to Have a 'Hapa' Bachelorette?",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On a recent episode of \u003cem>The Bachelor,\u003c/em> the ABC dating reality show that ends its 20th season Monday night, contestant Caila Quinn brings Ben Higgins home to meet her interracial family.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Have you ever met Filipinos before?\" Quinn's mother asks, leading Higgins into a dining room where the table is filled with traditional Filipino food.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't know,\" he replies. \"No. I don't think so.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As they sit around the adobo and pancit, Quinn's father talks to Higgins, white man to white man. What comes with dating Quinn, the father says, \"is a very special Philippine community.\" Quinn grimaces.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I had no idea what I was getting into when I married Caila's mother,\" the father says. But being married to a Filipina, he assures Higgins, has been \"the most fun\" and \"magical.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This scene can be read as an attempt by \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> franchise to dispel criticisms \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/monkeysee/2012/10/16/162992776/a-judge-dismisses-the-bachelor-discrimination-lawsuit-but-not-its-concerns\" target=\"_blank\">(and the memory of a 2012 lawsuit)\u003c/a> concerning its whitewashed casts. It shows how these attempts can be clunky at best, offensive and creepy at worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quinn's run also demonstrates how, as this rose-strewn, fantasy-fueled romance machine tries to include more people of color, diversification looks like biracial Asian-American — often known as \"\u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/12/15/370416571/half-asian-half-white-no-hapa\" target=\"_blank\">hapa\u003c/a>\" — women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Among the 19 women who have won the \"final rose\" since \u003cem>The Bachelor \u003c/em>premiered in 2002, two — Tessa Horst and Catherine Giudici — have been biracial Asian-white. All other winners, aside from Mary Delgado in 2004 who was Cuban-American, appear to have been white. As these \u003ca href=\"http://www.karenx.com/blog/minorities-on-the-bachelor-when-do-they-get-eliminated/\" target=\"_blank\">handy graphics\u003c/a> by writer and video artist Karen X. Cheng show, in the previous seven years, the only women of color who lasted into the final few weeks were of mixed-race Asian-white background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_21203\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 800px\">\u003cimg class=\"size-medium wp-image-21203\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-800x449.jpg\" alt=\"Christopher Johnson (left) and Nathaniel Claybrooks unsuccessfully sued 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' in 2012, claiming the shows kept contestants of color out of starring roles\" width=\"800\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-400x225.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1440x809.jpg 1440w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1920x1078.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-1180x663.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ap_120418112369_wide-ad117d6faa790b2aa905fe8fe7579b4e05543f7d-960x539.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Christopher Johnson (left) and Nathaniel Claybrooks unsuccessfully sued 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette' in 2012, claiming the shows kept contestants of color out of starring roles \u003ccite>(Photo: Mark Humphrey)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Other women of color on \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> tend to follow a familiar pattern: They may face hostility and racial anxieties from other contestants, then disappear from the screen early in the season. The latest example is Jubilee Sharpe, this season's black military veteran who fielded \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/2014/04/03/298736678/microaggressions-be-careful-what-you-say\" target=\"_blank\">microaggressions\u003c/a> from other contestants and suffered tension with the two biracial African-American and white women. On the show, these conflicts were coded with euphemisms: Sharpe was \"layered\" and \"complicated\" and \"different.\" Sharpe stuck around longer than most black women, but was still eliminated within the first half of the season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now, ABC executives \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/the-bachelor-bachelorette-black-diverse-contestant-abc-1201676020/\" target=\"_blank\">have hinted\u003c/a> that the next woman to lead the spinoff show \u003cem>The Bachelorette\u003c/em> will be — for the first time — a woman of color. Who is the rumored lucky lady? Caila Quinn, whose father tried and failed to sell Higgins on the advantages of Filipina wives this season. Anointing her as the first bachelorette of color would be a safe, predictable choice for the franchise. Producers could hold Quinn up as proof the shows are changing, while continuing to reflect and reinforce racial stereotypes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To understand why only a narrow group of women of color — biracial Asian-white women — survive in this world is to delve into romantic tropes, the stuff \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> is made of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"As objects of beauty, these women are benefiting from two helpful stereotypes about female desirability,\" said Ann Morning, associate professor of sociology at New York University. One is whiteness as the persisting standard of beauty. The other is Asian women as sexualized, exotic and submissive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Taken alone, the first stereotype can be detrimental. \"Today, being white is often perceived as a kind of boring, colorless identity,\" Morning said. But that stereotype about whiteness can work to balance negative stereotypes about Asian women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Lily Anne Welty Tamai, curator of history at the Japanese American National Museum (and a friend of mine), explained where these stereotypes about Asian women come from. The trope of Puccini's 1904 \u003cem>Madama Butterfly\u003c/em> paved the way for American incarnations of a tragic love story between an American soldier and Asian woman in the mid-20th century, when American soldiers brought home war stories — and sometimes brides — from Asia, where women were often part of the conquest. Popular narratives included the 1957 film \u003cem>Sayonara\u003c/em> and the 1989 musical \u003cem>Miss Saigon.\u003c/em> (\"I guess they just never got around to making the Korea version,\" Tamai said.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These stories cemented in the American consciousness the idea of the Asian woman as the foreign sex toy: the geisha, the china doll, the \"me love you long time\" sex worker.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Asian-American women today still experience the wrath of those legacies every day,\" said Joanne Rondilla, a lecturer of Asian Pacific American Studies at Arizona State University. Rondilla pointed to the \"Creepy White Guys\" Tumblr that collected offensive messages sent to Asian-American women via online dating platforms. In a similar vein, last year Mia Matsumiya created an \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/perv_magnet/\" target=\"_blank\">Instagram account\u003c/a> to post the thousand-plus \"messages from creeps, weirdos & fetishists\" she's received over the past decade. My personal favorite calling out of these dating dynamics is comedian Kristina Wong's incredible \u003ca href=\"http://myx.tv/show/video/latest/episode1-i-m-asian-american-and-i-want-reparations-for-yellow-fever\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>I'm Asian American and...\u003c/em> episode\u003c/a> in which she collects \"reparations for yellow fever\" on dates with white men.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, producers exercised these stereotypes about Asian-American women the last time they cast a single-race Asian-American woman. In 2010, contestant Channy Choch was introduced to viewers and bachelor Jake Pavelka with her inviting him in Cambodian to have sex with her. Later, she laughingly spoke to the camera about how Pavelka \"needs a little bit of Cambodian fever.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"All her moments on screen highlight her Cambodian heritage and her sexual desires — usually both at once, drawing a link between these,\" Rachel Dubrofsky told me by email. Dubrofsky, associate professor of communication at the University of South Florida, wrote \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/The-Surveillance-Women-Reality-Television/dp/0739164988\" target=\"_blank\">a book\u003c/a> analyzing \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> franchise, and found that women of color win the prize of a proposal only when their \"racial difference is treated as not only unimportant, but as nonexistent.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What's exciting on Tinder, the show communicates, becomes unacceptable when matrimony is involved. \"If this show was called \u003cem>The Hookup\u003c/em>, and contestants were having one-night stands, we'd see more racially diverse pools of people,\" Morning said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mixed-race Asian-white women become the perfect vehicles for diversity on this show because they are \"white enough to present to the family,\" as Morning said, while still being exotic enough to fill a quota. Morning suggested they also get a boost from the model minority myth and the recent idea that being multiracial is \"cool.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until this season's Quinn family dinner scene, the ethnic identities of \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/12/15/370416571/half-asian-half-white-no-hapa\" target=\"_blank\">hapa women\u003c/a> have been largely unremarked upon onscreen. Instead, only a vague, alluring, comfortable kind of distinction might be mentioned. \"She was different,\" \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2014/01/06/260119028/the-first-latino-bachelor-makes-his-debut\" target=\"_blank\">bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis\u003c/a> said of contestant Sharleen Joynt, a Chinese-Canadian opera singer from season 18. \"She was elegant, and I was, like, surprised. She was so classy. And she's sexy.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside the final media product presented by makers of the show, more explicit exotification can happen. In 2007, bachelor Andy Baldwin chose Tessa Horst as his final pick. Throughout the season, Horst's Chinese-white background is never mentioned and, as Dubrofsky noted, \"is only briefly apparent during the hometown date where her [Asian] mom appears. ... Her mom, however, barely speaks, and is mostly seen in the background.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only after the season had ended did we glimpse how Horst's race might have played into her relationship with Baldwin. At a press conference in Waikiki, \u003ca href=\"http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/26/AR2007052600267.html\" target=\"_blank\"> Baldwin said of his choice\u003c/a>, \"I always say the mutts are the most exotic and beautiful.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is the kind of comment mixed-race Asian-American women contend with outside the sanitized space of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>. \"We're exotified for being mixed,\" said Athena Mari Asklipiadis, a board member at Multiracial Americans of Southern California. \"If a man has an Asian fetish, he'll play that up in what he sees in me.\" She said fetishization also can come from Asian-American men who see her whiteness as exotic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If Caila Quinn is cast as the first bachelorette of color, producers will probably continue to omit thornier realities. Her casting could represent some form of progress, though, if producers continue to highlight her Filipina heritage, however awkwardly. Portraying an Asian-American woman as the ultimate marriage material — and not as a sexualized joke — could signal a step toward better humanizing people of color in this space. But it also could be just another spin on the \"model minority\" myth.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And there's the question of how diverse her suitors would be. A bachelorette of color presents a dilemma for producers: either an interracial romance — still controversial to some viewers — or a relationship in which neither person is white (who will the white audience relate to?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Myra Washington, assistant professor of communication at the University of New Mexico, predicted an increase in black contestants if Quinn becomes the bachelorette. \"Not Wesley Snipes black, because this is still TV,\" she said. She guessed there would be more mixed-race African-Americans, brown-skinned men, Latinos. But colonial legacies and systems of power die hard. \"I think she'll ultimately end up with a white dude,\" she said.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://akemijohnson.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Akemi Johnson\u003c/a> is a writer whose work has appeared in \u003c/em>The Nation\u003cem>, \u003c/em>The Journal\u003cem> and \u003c/em>The Asian American Literary Review\u003cem>. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=What+Would+It+Mean+To+Have+A+%27Hapa%27+Bachelorette%3F&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\" alt=\"\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">For more deep analysis of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>, listen to this episode of \u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>:\u003c/div>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">\n\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/246677395&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\n\u003c/div>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>We here at \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/\" target=\"_blank\">The Salt\u003c/a> like to bring you serious journalistic tails from the world of food. But hey, we like to unleash our silly side, too — and like the rest of the world, we've got a soft spot for man's (and woman's) best friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So of course, we're howling with delight at the latest food images charming the Internet: Meme-meister Karen Zack's clever Twitter photos highlighting the eerie resemblance between mutts and meals. In some cases, it takes dogged determination to separate the canines from the cuisine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puppy or bagel? Chihuahua or muffin? These are the gnawing questions raised by Zack, who tweets from \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/teenybiscuit\">@teenybiscuit\u003c/a>. She's a freelance assistant director in media production who splits her time between Portland, Ore., and Seattle. But she tells us she's looking to get into advertising strategy (we hear she's good with the puparazzi).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Previously, she's pointered out the similarities between other animals and foods (duckling or plantain?), but it's the dogs that have sunk their teeth into the Internet's funny bone. Zack says her image comparing Labradoodles to fried chicken got things going — call it the bark heard round the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And her fetching work has imitators nipping at her heels. (See Dalmatian or chocolate chip ice cream? Pug or loaf? Shar-Pei or croissant?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ironically, though it's Zack's mutt mugs that have made the Internet sit and stay, she says she herself has a cat ... named Toast.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yappy Friday, everyone!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/teenybiscuit/status/707727863571582978\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/teenybiscuit/status/705232709220769792\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/teenybiscuit/status/707004279324696577\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/lucifixion/status/708136391344037888\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.\u003cimg src=\"http://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Canine+Or+Cuisine%3F+This+Photo+Meme+Is+Fetching+&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\" alt=\"\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>We here at \u003ca href=\"http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/\" target=\"_blank\">The Salt\u003c/a> like to bring you serious journalistic tails from the world of food. But hey, we like to unleash our silly side, too — and like the rest of the world, we've got a soft spot for man's (and woman's) best friend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So of course, we're howling with delight at the latest food images charming the Internet: Meme-meister Karen Zack's clever Twitter photos highlighting the eerie resemblance between mutts and meals. In some cases, it takes dogged determination to separate the canines from the cuisine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Puppy or bagel? Chihuahua or muffin? These are the gnawing questions raised by Zack, who tweets from \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/teenybiscuit\">@teenybiscuit\u003c/a>. She's a freelance assistant director in media production who splits her time between Portland, Ore., and Seattle. But she tells us she's looking to get into advertising strategy (we hear she's good with the puparazzi).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Previously, she's pointered out the similarities between other animals and foods (duckling or plantain?), but it's the dogs that have sunk their teeth into the Internet's funny bone. Zack says her image comparing Labradoodles to fried chicken got things going — call it the bark heard round the world.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And her fetching work has imitators nipping at her heels. (See Dalmatian or chocolate chip ice cream? Pug or loaf? Shar-Pei or croissant?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cp>An examination of all the WTF moments from Fuller House, a defense of pretentiousness, and breaking up with reality television.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/03/fullerhouse.mp3\" title=\"Is It Time to Break Up with Reality TV?\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>This week, we kick things off with an examination of all the WTF moments within \u003cem>Fuller Hous\u003c/em>e (spoiler: there are LOTS):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/02/fuller-house-every-single-wtf-moment-from-season-1/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We consider what we're really saying when we call someone or something pretentious:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/feb/09/in-defence-of-pretentiousness\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We question whether it's time to bail on reality TV:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://blavity.com/divesting-reality-show-movement/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with a jam from Petite Noir:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XvD1QN3enQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/feb/09/in-defence-of-pretentiousness\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We question whether it's time to bail on reality TV:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://blavity.com/divesting-reality-show-movement/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with a jam from Petite Noir:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/7XvD1QN3enQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/7XvD1QN3enQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Redemptive Power of Britney Spears’ Instagram",
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"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>Britney Spears ate a whole cobbler last week. At least if you believe \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BChMRSmG8Az/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her Instagram\u003c/a>, where she posted a picture of an empty pie plate with an adorable caption: “BIG MISTAKE. HUGE MISTAKE... Ate all the peach cobbler today ? And I really want more lol.” (Her followers were quick to point out that the purpleness of the filling suggested blackberry rather than peach, but nonetheless, the sentiment remains the same.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This post brought me joy, just as many of Britney’s Instagrams have over the past few months. The first time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_z8kh5m8Gh/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she tried lamb\u003c/a> (loved it!). The time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAViUMFm8NR/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she met a beautiful horse\u003c/a>. The time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAA08b3m8J1/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she displayed the bruise on her forehead from running into a pole\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney’s Instagram is one of the best celebrity accounts -- first, because it’s obviously hers: Unlike the “behind-the-scenes” but obviously produced images posted by \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/taylorswift/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">Taylor Swift\u003c/a>, Brit’s feed is too unpolished, too scattered, too goofy, too \u003cem>normal\u003c/em> for it to be the product of a marketing team. She has some sexy promotional images, but they are interspersed with \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCdfvsyG8Pk/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">Pinterest-y\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCZWa3mm8B5/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">affirmations\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCdZpubm8EL/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">silly\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAzvQ6_G8D5/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">memes \u003c/a>and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_WDR1Um8Lz/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">videos \u003c/a>of her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_21iAAm8BO/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">kids\u003c/a>. You get glimpses into her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB8QVTJm8Kt/?taken-by=britneyspears&hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">car\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/-XdZ7Km8Ee/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">home\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAth7P7G8HI/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">meals\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/9vzSrIG8OT/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">life\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But my love for Britney’s ‘grams go way beyond my interest in the human side of celebrity. Other generations have their Taylors and Tiffanys, but I was a sophomore in high school when “...Baby One More Time” came out and therefore feel a certain ownership over Britney. This also means that when she fell apart in the aughts -- when she shaved her head and was in and out of institutions and generally a hot mess -- I felt somewhat complicit in her undoing. We all did. Here we’d been consuming every single detail about her, but never stopped to wonder or care if she was okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version=\"6\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin-left: 50px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\">\n\u003cdiv style=\"padding:8px;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:59.3518518519% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp style=\" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;\"> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BBqUi-TG8LQ/\" style=\" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;\" target=\"_blank\">Yummy to my tummy!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\">A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on \u003ctime style=\" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;\" datetime=\"2016-02-11T21:35:17+00:00\">Feb 11, 2016 at 1:35pm PST\u003c/time>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript async defer src=\"//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js\">\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shiny teen-pop music is everywhere these days, so it might be hard for a younger generation to understand the importance of Britney Spears to us older Millennials. When she came along at the tail end of the century, we were still mired in the musical swamplands of the post-grunge era. From those first few chords and the low \u003cem>“oh baby, baby”\u003c/em> growl of “...Baby One More Time,” the single was a breath of fresh air. It followed tracks laid by the Spice Girls and boy bands before it, but at the same time, it was clear we were witnessing the start of something else entirely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The video, with Britney in that iconic short plaid skirt and cheerleader outfit, fit in neatly with the nascent teen-dominant culture that was growing out of TV shows like \u003cem>Dawson’s Creek\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Buffy the Vampire Slayer\u003c/em>, as well as movies like \u003cem>She’s All That\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Ten Things I Hate About You\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Drive Me Crazy\u003c/em>, the underrated Melissa Joan Hart/Adrian Grenier vehicle that was named after the album’s third single, “(You Drive Me) Crazy.” Britney's own teen movie, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/23/crossroads-a-live-blog-of-britney-spears-one-and-only-movie/\" target=\"_blank\">the delightfully bad \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, soon followed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then there was Justin Timberlake. Britney and Justin were childhood sweethearts, and they were the Prince and Princess of Pop; the Kurt and Courtney of Gen-Y. Their relationship was more than that glorious \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/today-is-the-anniversary-of-britney-and-justins-iconic-denim\" target=\"_blank\">all-denim photo\u003c/a>. It was marketed as the fairytale romance that every teenage girl dreamed of, and their ensuing breakup was, unsurprisingly,\u003ca href=\"http://www.bustle.com/articles/121364-if-justin-timberlake-britney-spears-never-broke-up-the-world-would-be-so-different\" target=\"_blank\"> a learning moment\u003c/a> for many a teenager, a sign that \"happily ever after\" may not exist IRL.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Justin came the darker years, as Britney railed against her teen image: the Madonna kiss at the VMAs, the impetuous 55-hour elopement to a childhood friend in Vegas, the second marriage to douchey backup dancer Kevin Federline, the paparazzi photos of her driving with her son in her lap. It all culminated in the infamous Tarzana Head Shaving Incident of 2007 and its adjacent craziness, which resulted in her losing custody of her children, getting\u003ca href=\"http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/britney-spears-forcibly-committed-psychiatric-ward-article-1.341270\" target=\"_blank\"> forcibly committed to a psychiatric ward\u003c/a>, and then released under the conservatorship of her father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Public meltdowns are fun to watch for a moment -- they're spectacles -- but they quickly become sad \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when you realize that you're gleefully watching a real person with something very wrong with them spin out of control\u003c/span>. And like those of Lohan, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/05/31/amanda-bynes-we-have-failed-you/\" target=\"_blank\">Bynes\u003c/a> and Ryder, Britney’s was a moment when we, the public, were forced to confront what we’d done to Britney by sexualizing her so young, by caring so much about every detail of her life that photos of her going to Starbucks or driving her kids around \u003ca href=\"http://defamer.gawker.com/bald-britney-spears-was-the-dot-com-boom-era-for-papara-514349695\" target=\"_blank\">made the paparazzi rich\u003c/a> many times over. \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/04/shooting-britney/306735/\" target=\"_blank\">Think pieces\u003c/a> followed about the power we were assigning to paps in the years of TMZ's ascent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney disappeared for a while after that, seemingly an older but wiser girl. She reappeared in 2012 as a judge on \u003cem>The X-Factor\u003c/em>, and then in 2013 to announce a two-year residency at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas. That residency is ongoing, and her life \u003ca href=\"http://www.vmagazine.com/site/content/5595/v100-living-for-britney#!/1\" target=\"_blank\">seems to be stable\u003c/a> for what's maybe the first time since she became mega-famous at 18. (An interesting corollary to her contemporaries the Backstreet Boys, whose 2015 documentary, \u003cem>Show Me What You’re Made Of\u003c/em>, revealed that most of them are still dealing with the fallout of teen fame.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Britney’s just living her life\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and ironically letting us in more than ever -- but this time on her own terms. \u003c/span>Hearts exploded when she \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB9Vum9G8GT/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">met Hillary Clinton \u003c/a>this year. She’s got \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCo7kJiG8Ih/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her kids\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB0wFCfG8KP/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her friends\u003c/a>, and a glass container in her kitchen that may be exclusively \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BBqgbMjm8Bc/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">reserved for cupcakes\u003c/a>. As her Instagram feed reminds me nearly every day, Britney Spears is finally doing just fine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-version=\"6\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin-left: 50px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\">\n\u003cdiv style=\"padding:8px;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:33.2407407407% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB9Vum9G8GT/\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\">A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears)\u003c/a> on \u003ctime style=\" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;\" datetime=\"2016-02-19T06:51:11+00:00\">Feb 18, 2016 at 10:51pm PST\u003c/time>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript async defer src=\"//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js\">\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Why the former teen queen's food pics, selfies and other snaps of a (relatively) normal life tug so tenderly at our heartstrings.",
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"headline": "The Redemptive Power of Britney Spears’ Instagram",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Britney Spears ate a whole cobbler last week. At least if you believe \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BChMRSmG8Az/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her Instagram\u003c/a>, where she posted a picture of an empty pie plate with an adorable caption: “BIG MISTAKE. HUGE MISTAKE... Ate all the peach cobbler today ? And I really want more lol.” (Her followers were quick to point out that the purpleness of the filling suggested blackberry rather than peach, but nonetheless, the sentiment remains the same.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This post brought me joy, just as many of Britney’s Instagrams have over the past few months. The first time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_z8kh5m8Gh/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she tried lamb\u003c/a> (loved it!). The time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAViUMFm8NR/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she met a beautiful horse\u003c/a>. The time \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAA08b3m8J1/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">she displayed the bruise on her forehead from running into a pole\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney’s Instagram is one of the best celebrity accounts -- first, because it’s obviously hers: Unlike the “behind-the-scenes” but obviously produced images posted by \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/taylorswift/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">Taylor Swift\u003c/a>, Brit’s feed is too unpolished, too scattered, too goofy, too \u003cem>normal\u003c/em> for it to be the product of a marketing team. She has some sexy promotional images, but they are interspersed with \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCdfvsyG8Pk/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">Pinterest-y\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCZWa3mm8B5/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">affirmations\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCdZpubm8EL/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">silly\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAzvQ6_G8D5/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">memes \u003c/a>and \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_WDR1Um8Lz/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">videos \u003c/a>of her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/_21iAAm8BO/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">kids\u003c/a>. You get glimpses into her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB8QVTJm8Kt/?taken-by=britneyspears&hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">car\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/-XdZ7Km8Ee/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">home\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BAth7P7G8HI/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">meals\u003c/a>, her \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/9vzSrIG8OT/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">life\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But my love for Britney’s ‘grams go way beyond my interest in the human side of celebrity. Other generations have their Taylors and Tiffanys, but I was a sophomore in high school when “...Baby One More Time” came out and therefore feel a certain ownership over Britney. This also means that when she fell apart in the aughts -- when she shaved her head and was in and out of institutions and generally a hot mess -- I felt somewhat complicit in her undoing. We all did. Here we’d been consuming every single detail about her, but never stopped to wonder or care if she was okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version=\"6\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin-left: 50px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\">\n\u003cdiv style=\"padding:8px;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:59.3518518519% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp style=\" margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;\"> \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BBqUi-TG8LQ/\" style=\" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;\" target=\"_blank\">Yummy to my tummy!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\">A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on \u003ctime style=\" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;\" datetime=\"2016-02-11T21:35:17+00:00\">Feb 11, 2016 at 1:35pm PST\u003c/time>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript async defer src=\"//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js\">\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Shiny teen-pop music is everywhere these days, so it might be hard for a younger generation to understand the importance of Britney Spears to us older Millennials. When she came along at the tail end of the century, we were still mired in the musical swamplands of the post-grunge era. From those first few chords and the low \u003cem>“oh baby, baby”\u003c/em> growl of “...Baby One More Time,” the single was a breath of fresh air. It followed tracks laid by the Spice Girls and boy bands before it, but at the same time, it was clear we were witnessing the start of something else entirely.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The video, with Britney in that iconic short plaid skirt and cheerleader outfit, fit in neatly with the nascent teen-dominant culture that was growing out of TV shows like \u003cem>Dawson’s Creek\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Buffy the Vampire Slayer\u003c/em>, as well as movies like \u003cem>She’s All That\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Ten Things I Hate About You\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Drive Me Crazy\u003c/em>, the underrated Melissa Joan Hart/Adrian Grenier vehicle that was named after the album’s third single, “(You Drive Me) Crazy.” Britney's own teen movie, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/11/23/crossroads-a-live-blog-of-britney-spears-one-and-only-movie/\" target=\"_blank\">the delightfully bad \u003cem>Crossroads\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, soon followed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then there was Justin Timberlake. Britney and Justin were childhood sweethearts, and they were the Prince and Princess of Pop; the Kurt and Courtney of Gen-Y. Their relationship was more than that glorious \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/today-is-the-anniversary-of-britney-and-justins-iconic-denim\" target=\"_blank\">all-denim photo\u003c/a>. It was marketed as the fairytale romance that every teenage girl dreamed of, and their ensuing breakup was, unsurprisingly,\u003ca href=\"http://www.bustle.com/articles/121364-if-justin-timberlake-britney-spears-never-broke-up-the-world-would-be-so-different\" target=\"_blank\"> a learning moment\u003c/a> for many a teenager, a sign that \"happily ever after\" may not exist IRL.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Justin came the darker years, as Britney railed against her teen image: the Madonna kiss at the VMAs, the impetuous 55-hour elopement to a childhood friend in Vegas, the second marriage to douchey backup dancer Kevin Federline, the paparazzi photos of her driving with her son in her lap. It all culminated in the infamous Tarzana Head Shaving Incident of 2007 and its adjacent craziness, which resulted in her losing custody of her children, getting\u003ca href=\"http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/britney-spears-forcibly-committed-psychiatric-ward-article-1.341270\" target=\"_blank\"> forcibly committed to a psychiatric ward\u003c/a>, and then released under the conservatorship of her father.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Public meltdowns are fun to watch for a moment -- they're spectacles -- but they quickly become sad \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when you realize that you're gleefully watching a real person with something very wrong with them spin out of control\u003c/span>. And like those of Lohan, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/05/31/amanda-bynes-we-have-failed-you/\" target=\"_blank\">Bynes\u003c/a> and Ryder, Britney’s was a moment when we, the public, were forced to confront what we’d done to Britney by sexualizing her so young, by caring so much about every detail of her life that photos of her going to Starbucks or driving her kids around \u003ca href=\"http://defamer.gawker.com/bald-britney-spears-was-the-dot-com-boom-era-for-papara-514349695\" target=\"_blank\">made the paparazzi rich\u003c/a> many times over. \u003ca href=\"http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/04/shooting-britney/306735/\" target=\"_blank\">Think pieces\u003c/a> followed about the power we were assigning to paps in the years of TMZ's ascent.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Britney disappeared for a while after that, seemingly an older but wiser girl. She reappeared in 2012 as a judge on \u003cem>The X-Factor\u003c/em>, and then in 2013 to announce a two-year residency at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas. That residency is ongoing, and her life \u003ca href=\"http://www.vmagazine.com/site/content/5595/v100-living-for-britney#!/1\" target=\"_blank\">seems to be stable\u003c/a> for what's maybe the first time since she became mega-famous at 18. (An interesting corollary to her contemporaries the Backstreet Boys, whose 2015 documentary, \u003cem>Show Me What You’re Made Of\u003c/em>, revealed that most of them are still dealing with the fallout of teen fame.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Britney’s just living her life\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and ironically letting us in more than ever -- but this time on her own terms. \u003c/span>Hearts exploded when she \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB9Vum9G8GT/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">met Hillary Clinton \u003c/a>this year. She’s got \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BCo7kJiG8Ih/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her kids\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB0wFCfG8KP/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">her friends\u003c/a>, and a glass container in her kitchen that may be exclusively \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BBqgbMjm8Bc/?hl=en\" target=\"_blank\">reserved for cupcakes\u003c/a>. As her Instagram feed reminds me nearly every day, Britney Spears is finally doing just fine.\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote class=\"instagram-media\" data-instgrm-version=\"6\" style=\" background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin-left: 50px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px);\">\n\u003cdiv style=\"padding:8px;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:33.2407407407% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;\">\n\u003cdiv style=\" background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAAGFBMVEUiIiI9PT0eHh4gIB4hIBkcHBwcHBwcHBydr+JQAAAACHRSTlMABA4YHyQsM5jtaMwAAADfSURBVDjL7ZVBEgMhCAQBAf//42xcNbpAqakcM0ftUmFAAIBE81IqBJdS3lS6zs3bIpB9WED3YYXFPmHRfT8sgyrCP1x8uEUxLMzNWElFOYCV6mHWWwMzdPEKHlhLw7NWJqkHc4uIZphavDzA2JPzUDsBZziNae2S6owH8xPmX8G7zzgKEOPUoYHvGz1TBCxMkd3kwNVbU0gKHkx+iZILf77IofhrY1nYFnB/lQPb79drWOyJVa/DAvg9B/rLB4cC+Nqgdz/TvBbBnr6GBReqn/nRmDgaQEej7WhonozjF+Y2I/fZou/qAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;\">\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;\">\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/p/BB9Vum9G8GT/\" style=\" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;\" target=\"_blank\">A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears)\u003c/a> on \u003ctime style=\" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;\" datetime=\"2016-02-19T06:51:11+00:00\">Feb 18, 2016 at 10:51pm PST\u003c/time>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cscript async defer src=\"//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js\">\u003c/script>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "Wanna Vote On the Next Emojis? That'll Be $18,000",
"title": "Wanna Vote On the Next Emojis? That'll Be $18,000",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>It should come as no surprise, if you've been paying attention, that companies like Google, Facebook and Apple currently exert an unprecedented amount of control over how we communicate, do business, and learn about the world around us. (\u003ca href=\"http://www.cjr.org/analysis/facebook_and_media.php\" target=\"_blank\">This piece in the \u003cem>Columbia Journalism Review\u003c/em>\u003c/a> does a nice/terrifying job of outlining the current state of news media in this context.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But does the techie 1 percent really also have ultimate dominance over our smiley face choices? The specific shape of our thumbs-up signs? Our beloved, wholly necessary\u003cem> taco emojis\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah, according to this \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfchronicle.com/business/article/Emoji-Illuminati-Obscure-group-polices-the-6871435.php?t=50e145eeadbaa6eec6&cmpid=twitter-premium\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>San Francisco Chronicle\u003c/em> story\u003c/a>, they do. Our vaguely shadowy emoji overlords are a \"group of mostly mid- to high-level engineers at big tech firms\" who in 1991 founded Unicode, the standard programming language that makes symbols readable and shareable across different devices. While anyone can join, it costs $18,000 a year to become a full member with voting privileges -- which is why there are only 11 full members, \"including Adobe, IBM, Google, Facebook, Apple and Yahoo.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone can create an emoji, but Unicode is essentially responsible for approving those that get the widest distribution. As a group, it sifts through an average 100 proposals a year for new emojis, including an increasing number from corporations, which have an obvious interest in cell phone users being able to text symbols that look like their products. When was the last time you wanted to communicate via cell phone about candy, but were flummoxed by the lack of an emoji that looked specifically like a Kit Kat bar, for example?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The story also lightly touches on the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/23/apple-introduces-new-diverse-emojis/\" target=\"_blank\">ever-present emoji diversity question\u003c/a>, noting that the \"consortium's executive officers, technical directors, and committee leaders are mostly white men.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put another way:\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, 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90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.sfchronicle.com/business/article/Emoji-Illuminati-Obscure-group-polices-the-6871435.php?t=50e145eeadbaa6eec6&cmpid=twitter-premium\" target=\"_blank\">Check out the story right here. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>It should come as no surprise, if you've been paying attention, that companies like Google, Facebook and Apple currently exert an unprecedented amount of control over how we communicate, do business, and learn about the world around us. (\u003ca href=\"http://www.cjr.org/analysis/facebook_and_media.php\" target=\"_blank\">This piece in the \u003cem>Columbia Journalism Review\u003c/em>\u003c/a> does a nice/terrifying job of outlining the current state of news media in this context.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But does the techie 1 percent really also have ultimate dominance over our smiley face choices? The specific shape of our thumbs-up signs? Our beloved, wholly necessary\u003cem> taco emojis\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yeah, according to this \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfchronicle.com/business/article/Emoji-Illuminati-Obscure-group-polices-the-6871435.php?t=50e145eeadbaa6eec6&cmpid=twitter-premium\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>San Francisco Chronicle\u003c/em> story\u003c/a>, they do. Our vaguely shadowy emoji overlords are a \"group of mostly mid- to high-level engineers at big tech firms\" who in 1991 founded Unicode, the standard programming language that makes symbols readable and shareable across different devices. While anyone can join, it costs $18,000 a year to become a full member with voting privileges -- which is why there are only 11 full members, \"including Adobe, IBM, Google, Facebook, Apple and Yahoo.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone can create an emoji, but Unicode is essentially responsible for approving those that get the widest distribution. As a group, it sifts through an average 100 proposals a year for new emojis, including an increasing number from corporations, which have an obvious interest in cell phone users being able to text symbols that look like their products. When was the last time you wanted to communicate via cell phone about candy, but were flummoxed by the lack of an emoji that looked specifically like a Kit Kat bar, for example?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The story also lightly touches on the \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/23/apple-introduces-new-diverse-emojis/\" target=\"_blank\">ever-present emoji diversity question\u003c/a>, noting that the \"consortium's executive officers, technical directors, and committee leaders are mostly white men.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put another way:\u003cbr>\n\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-21118 alignright\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\"> \u003cimg class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-21118\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png\" alt=\"4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950\" width=\"90\" height=\"90\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950.png 120w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-32x32.png 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-64x64.png 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-96x96.png 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/4b9e55aba45a59d36e57ba45a9b05950-75x75.png 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 90px) 100vw, 90px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.sfchronicle.com/business/article/Emoji-Illuminati-Obscure-group-polices-the-6871435.php?t=50e145eeadbaa6eec6&cmpid=twitter-premium\" target=\"_blank\">Check out the story right here. \u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "‘Downton Abbey’ Series Finale Recap: Shake It Off",
"title": "‘Downton Abbey’ Series Finale Recap: Shake It Off",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>[contextly_sidebar id=\"D8UkkxNwcg9dz0zu8kyaK1Dz6KrTrlYH\"]It’s been two long weeks since \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/21/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-8-recap-tears-dry-on-their-own/\" target=\"_blank\">Edith finally snapped\u003c/a> and gloriously cussed Mary out! Will the series culminate in a bloody sisterly duel? Will Thomas avoid the sad, miserably alone gay trope and shack up with a hot dude? Will a sinkhole open up right underneath Carson and deliver him to H-E-double hockey sticks? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> episode we will ever watch begins the only way it can: by getting our tear ducts warmed up with shots of babies Sybbie, George and Marigold frolicking alongside brand new adorable puppy, Tia'a. This is going to be a long, emotional 93 minutes! I'm guessing you and I will both ugly cry at least once.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The whole family is on a stroll. Lady Mary obviously doesn't read my recaps because, despite my strong opinions on the matter, she insists on using a parasol, even though there is no sun anywhere in England.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith has decided to move to London and enlist Marigold in a school (*pearl clutch*). Robert, whose only function is to represent dusty, out-dated points of view, is like \u003cem>But no!\u003c/em> Everyone ignores him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel, ever the you-know-what-stirrer, asks, \"Does [Marigold] have any relations who ought to be kept informed?\" The Crawleys, who have won worst-secret-keepers-in-all-the-land six years running, all look at each other with expressions reserved for people who've just farted, but poorly pretend they didn't. Isobel doesn't catch on cause she's too busy gloating to herself over being right about that boring hospital merger thing that we spent SEVEN ENTIRE EPISODES on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith ends the scene by accepting her fate, which has seemed inevitable since episode one: \"Anyway, I'm a spinster, aren't I? And spinsters live alone.\" Poor Jan. And poor Marigold, really, who's in store for a life that resembles \u003cem>Grey Gardens\u003c/em>. (OMG, it just clicked that Big and Little Edie's real names were...Edith!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-10.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21082\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21082\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"giphy (10)\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert alludes to the Dowager being ill. So help me, goddess, if Julian Fellowes kills her off in this episode, I will buy a bunch of Tae Bo tapes, train for many weeks as a champion fighter, travel to England and kick his ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Henry smokes a cigarette as despairingly as possible to get Mary's attention. It works. Mary is like, \u003cem>Hey, sorry about your dead friend.\u003c/em> Henry then reveals he's not so into cars and racing anymore. Mary thinks to herself that the money she paid that auto-mechanic to mess with Henry's friend's car was well worth it. Oh, come on, would you put it past her?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe polish room, where everything happens, Thomas approaches Baxter, Andy and Anna to thank them for saving his life post-suicide attempt. Baxter and Andy react like normal, empathetic human beings, by saying they were glad to do it and are glad he gets to stay a bit longer. Anna takes a different approach: \"Why not use the time [you have left here] to try and understand what brought you so low?\" Ex-squeeze me? Victim blaming? Really? Also, it won't take too much time to understand what brought him to slit his wrists: homophobic bullies like Carson, Robert, Andy and your very own husband. Get out of here, Anna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's bachelorette pad, she is very much alive (*cancels Tae Bo order*) and gossiping with cousin Isobel. Apparently, Isobel's ex's rude son invited her to tea, but then flaked. Oh, who cares, we all know this is heading to Isobel getting back with Lord Merton, let's just fast forward to the wedding and spend this precious time watching the Dowager judge all the attendees mercilessly, give a boozy, barbed speech, and dance on a table to the beat of a rowdy quintet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mrs. Hughes office, she and Anna discuss maternity leave. Carson comes in and, you guessed it, announces his disapproval of lady's maids being pregnant and/or married. He makes me so angry that I wish I had a prosthetic leg just so I could throw it at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21072\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21072\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Edith hears a cocktail shaker and says, \"What a cheering sound!\" Do you blame her? Before therapy stopped being taboo, drinking a sh*t ton was the only way to deal. And, boy, does she have a lot to deal with. Edith and all the other rich people enjoy their cocktails because all the dead relatives, burst ulcers and aborted engagements are behind them now. Or are they???\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs kitchen, Andy is bragging about how he can read and stuff now. Cool. Thomas comes by and jokingly tells him to stop the \"love talk\" with Daisy. Aw, I'm glad he's accepted Andy's non-gayness. Can't say the same for myself, though. #LetThomasMakeOut! Daisy is offended by the prospect of Andy as a lover because everything she does in this season has to make zero sense. Mrs. Patmore is like, \u003cem>Girl, please.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the rich folk are talking about visiting the under-the-weather Dowager (*reorders Tae Bo tapes*), when Carson's body goes berserk for a second, causing him to spill a bunch of wine. OMG, did someone request another exploding, potentially fatal ulcer? Yep! That was me!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/1389789068610490524.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21074\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21074\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/1389789068610490524.gif\" alt=\"1389789068610490524\" width=\"337\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Andy approaches Mrs. Patmore and asks, \"Is Daisy interested in men?\" BA HA HA.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21075\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21075\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"lesbian bridesmaids gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore assures him that Daisy isn't a lesbian and Andy vows to date her. Series finales are always like this: throwing different characters together like spaghetti at a wall and seeing what sticks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Thomas gets some good news for a change. He got a job! Carson gloats, but I'm not even mad about it cause his days are numbered, muahaha.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Denker paints her nails a scandalous nude color! Good for her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith drops in to talk to Spratt a.k.a. Cassandra Jones about how awesome he is at writing about lady things. So awesome that he's getting a full page spread in every issue from now on! This storyline is amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Molesley tells Baxter he doesn't really get the point of shampoo (he probably doesn't like it cause it makes his shoe polish hair dye run). They bump into the schoolmaster, who offers Molesley a full-time position and an apartment. Another storyline, quickly wrapped lickety-split.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a drive to London, Edith makes Henry promise not to tell Mary about Spratt's secret identity. He asks why not and Edith gives a loaded look like \u003cem>Uhhhh, remember the last time she found out a secret and got me de-titled and mercilessly dumped?! Yeah, so zip the lip, pretty boy.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Dowager's, Denker doesn't waste any time threatening Spratt in order to find out what he's hiding. Her wig really does deserve an acting award, or at least a prize for most attention-grabbing accessory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Andy asks Daisy to go on a walk and she's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/no-toddlers-tiaras-diva.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21076\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21076\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/no-toddlers-tiaras-diva.gif\" alt=\"no-toddlers-tiaras-diva\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore tells her to chill out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Carson interrupts a convo between Mrs. Patmore and Hughes. He takes a cup of tea and his hand shakes a bunch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21077\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif\" alt=\"kim-kardashian-smiling\" width=\"245\" height=\"237\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling-32x32.gif 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes follows him into his office to confront him about whatever is going on with his health, but he denies anything is going on until Molesley comes in to share his good news (bad idea). Carson obviously makes Molesley feel like crap about his new teaching opportunity because, even on his way to his death bed, it's important that he stay consistent in being the most miserable person to ever grace the moors of Yorkshire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's, she still alive and hanging out with Mary and Robert. Edith's breakup comes up and Mary has a cat-ate-the-canary look about her; she either has a plan to get them back together or is just very pleased with how she broke them up in 30 seconds or less, a new record for her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The topic switches to Cora taking over the Dowager's hospital gig because the \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers think we're heavily invested in that dead horse of a storyline (we're not). Then this exchange happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mary:\u003c/strong> \"Swallow it, Granny. It's stuck in your craw long enough.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dowager:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, don't worry about me. I gobbled it up long ago. It's your father who seems to have difficulty swallowing these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/550.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21078\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21078\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/550.gif\" alt=\"pee wee oh snap gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Isobel drops in on her ex. Despite humming Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together\" to herself for weeks, she feels like \u003cem>Hmm, maybe we will?\u003c/em> Well, it's too little too late because Lord Merton is suffering from pernicious anemia and is going to die pretty soon. Exes: use 'em or lose 'em!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Edith shows Henry her London digs and HE CALLS HER EDIE, further solidifying my \u003cem>Grey Gardens\u003c/em> theory! He confesses that he's giving up driving, but has some concerns about how Mary will take it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Henry:\u003c/strong> \"She certainly won't enjoy the transformation of her glamorous ace of a husband into a man who sits about the house with nothing to do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Edith:\u003c/strong> \"Well, then, you must find something to do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another women's advice column, coming right up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, a huge, scary hairdryer comes in the mail. If Chekhov's principle holds (\"If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off\"), then someone is getting a rad blowout by the end of this episode. Let it be Mrs. Patmore!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It probably won't be though because Daisy is complaining about how she's never changed her hairstyle (her age also hasn't changed over the 13 years we've known these people, but who's counting). Andy tries to flirt some more by telling her she doesn't need to change her hair. Daisy responds the only way she knows how:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-11.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21083\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21083\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"clueless ew get off me gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Aunt Rosamund is taking Edith to the Ritz for dinner. They are talking smack about Mary cause what else is there to talk about really? They roll up to the table and - boom! - Bertie is standing there. Aunt Rosamund is like \u003cem>K byeee! \u003c/em>Miles away, canary-in-the-mouth Mary smiles to herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith and Bertie have a dramatic post-breakup convo in front of their waiter, who is internally eating popcorn and going Ooooo. Edith is being pretty harsh with Bertie. Memo to Edith: \u003cem>Hey, girl. It's me. Um, remember that whole thing where you lied to him about having a daughter and irrevocably damaged the trust between you? Yeah. Be nicer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My memo must have been lost because she makes Bertie cry, while the waiter who's pretending not to be eating all this up, pours champagne. But all's well that ends well: they get back together! And no one has pernicious anemia! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, in the shoe polish room (where else?), Thomas tells Baxter he's going to try and be someone else at his new job. No, Tommy, it's not you, it's them!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Robert bursts into the bedroom with breaking news about Edith:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong> \"You're not going to believe it!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong> \"She's pregnant again?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong> \"No!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong> \"She's been arrested for treason?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-12.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21084\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21084\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-12.gif\" alt=\"laughing gif\" width=\"650\" height=\"276\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best use of Cora in six whole seasons!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's, she and Isobel talk about how pernicious pernicious anemia is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, the fam is taking off to meet Edith's mother-in-law. Thomas says his goodbyes and thanks Robert for his homophobia over the years. WTF. Then, Cora reminds me that Thomas saved Edith from dying in a fire! That makes the way people have treated Thomas all season even worse! I'm glad he's ditching these jerks once and for all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy plays around with Snapchat filters:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21110\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21110\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg\" alt=\"snapchat\" width=\"1136\" height=\"599\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg 1136w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-400x211.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-800x422.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-768x405.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-960x506.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1136px) 100vw, 1136px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21109\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2.jpg\" alt=\"snapchat-2\" width=\"1134\" height=\"601\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2.jpg 1134w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-400x212.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-800x424.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-768x407.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-960x509.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1134px) 100vw, 1134px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daisy thinks she looks frumpy and unemployable. Andy says he would hire her. Daisy, once again, is not having any of it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/14-02-Clueless-quotes.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21087\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21087\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/14-02-Clueless-quotes.gif\" alt=\"clueless ugh as if gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some other part of England, Cora and Robert drive up to the gargantuan castle that is set to be Edith's future home. Mary can have Downton. Inside, they walk through room after room after room to get to the one that holds Bertie and his mom. Then, Edith makes her entrance and Bertie's mom is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n61pvrcKmx1rvnnvyo2_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21088\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21088\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n61pvrcKmx1rvnnvyo2_250.gif\" alt=\"arrested development her gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"106\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Henry is STILL talking about how he's decided to give up racing. Yes, we know! I gave up yoga and trying to learn French and drinking Long Island Iced Teas, but you don't hear me carrying on about it, do you? Get on with your life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson goes to pour something again and shakes it all over the table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21089\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21089\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43.gif\" alt=\"81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43\" width=\"500\" height=\"198\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Edith's palace, Bertie's mom makes it clear that she is not moving out EVER! Everyone is like, \u003cem>Um, we didn't say anything. \u003c/em>She goes on to ramble about how Bertie must bring morality and family values back to the title because his dead cousin was super gay and loved painting Moroccan boys. So now they have to tell her about Marigold \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Thomas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Isobel and her dying ex visit Dr. Clarkson who says \u003cem>Yeah, you're going to be dead soon. Sorry not sorry.\u003c/em> (Remember their love triangle B-plot?) Then, Dr. Clarkson has to watch them make goo-goo eyes at each other, while he internally screams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside of the doctor's office, Lord Merton's evil daughter-in-law is waiting to snatch him away. Isobel tries to have a \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> moment with her, but she's bad at being taken seriously and is cut off mid-sentence by evil daughter-in-law: \"Heavens, is that the time? Good day, Mrs Crawley!\" Okay, time to call in reinforcements a.k.a. the Dowager.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Henry is STILL moaning about not having a hobby. He sure is lucky he has a nice face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas says his final goodbyes and forgives everyone for making him so miserable he wanted to die in a bathtub. He even thanks Carson. Since we haven't ugly cried yet, the kids are brought in to say goodbye:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Baby George:\u003c/strong> \"Please don't go.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Thomas:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, I must go, Master George, but remember I will always be your friend wherever I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/2breakup.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21090\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21090\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/2breakup.gif\" alt=\"little boy cry gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Fortress Edith, Edith decides to tell Bertie's mom everything. Eeeek!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Thomas' new workplace, his super old employer confirms that there are only two other servants in the whole place. Thomas looks out a window and despairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/h9lBkag.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21092\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21092\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/h9lBkag.gif\" alt=\"friends look out window gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Daisy's father-in-law's farm, Daisy watches Andy seductively hammer nails, while wearing a thin, sweaty laborer's shirt. Her father-in-law mentions Andy's \"young man's muscles\" and how he is a \"crackin' lad,\" leading Daisy to have an epiphany:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lasu2ikxkq1qeolcio1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21091\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21091\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lasu2ikxkq1qeolcio1_500.gif\" alt=\"clueless i love josh gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Edith's British Versailles, Bertie has it out with his mother over Edith's secret illegitimate child. His mom calls Edith \"damaged goods.\" *cue the Jerry Springer audience ooooo's*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Merton's, evil daughter-in-law slams the door in Isobel's face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n08a4e5HPE1tq03tdo1_400.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21093\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21093\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n08a4e5HPE1tq03tdo1_400.gif\" alt=\"door slam gif\" width=\"360\" height=\"186\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Branson and Henry plot something that probably has to do with cars. Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Molesley arrives to give in his notice, but says he hopes to pitch in on special occasions since he'll still have his livery. Carson is unsurprisingly terrible: \"Your livery stays here!\" Even Mrs. Hughes is like \u003cem>Dude, give the evil thing a rest! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Thomas' new spot, he snuffs out dinner candles, just like his desire to live has been.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Petite Trianon, the banquet where Bertie wants to announce his engagement is underway. They are serving things out of carved pineapples! Every time Bertie attempts to tell everyone about marrying Edith, his mom toast-blocks him. She eventually relents and everyone celebrates by getting wasted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Merton's, the Dowager teaches evil daughter-in-law who runs sh*t around here by bursting in and creating a scene, which leads to Lord Merton finding out her nefarious plan, getting engaged to Isobel, and telling his son: \"Larry, as my son, I love you, but I've tried and failed to like you.\" Check mate!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-13.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21094\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21094\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-13.gif\" alt=\"downton dowager gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Edith is back from her castle and takes Mary aside to thank her for arranging the Ritz summit. Mary explains why she's being nice to Edith for the first time ever: \"Look, we're blood and we're stuck with it. So, let's try and do a little better in future.\" Peace in the Middle East\u003cem> is\u003c/em> possible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy is finally ready to make out with Andy, but he's over it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/diss.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21095\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21095\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/diss.gif\" alt=\"diss\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time leap to December 29, 1925, the week of Edith's wedding! Cousin Rose shows up from America without her three-month-old because what a bother that would be. She runs around, hyper as ever, greeting everyone and not being Sybil (nice try, \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's, Denker threatens to reveal Spratt's secret identity. We're seriously wasting time on another Denker-blackmails-someone storyline?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, Cora tells everyone about her cool new job over dinner. Robert gets mad that she's a woman with something to do, other than doting on a man. He grumpily asks Carson for more wine, but Carson can't pour it. Later, he tells Robert that he must resign because he can no longer perform his duties.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n01qr7iwJj1qhg1oco1_500-1.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21096\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21096\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n01qr7iwJj1qhg1oco1_500-1.gif\" alt=\"maleficent gif evil smile\" width=\"500\" height=\"415\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Henry and Branson finally let Mary in on their secret: they opened a used car dealership! She pretends to be excited and not at all bothered to her innermost core over Edith getting the castle and fancy title. Oh, and because it's the last episode and everything possible must take place, Mary's pregnant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Rose forces Robert to visit the hospital so he can see Cora at work and realize that it's okay for women to do things. He blossoms into a feminist in 2.3 seconds. It's about time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Daisy is on a mission to upgrade her look. She sneaks into Mary's room and snags the hairdryer. This will not end well. Please don't get bangs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's, Denker is still working on getting Spratt in trouble. The Dowager is not biting at all the hints she's dropping so Denker must resort to Plan B: just giving her a copy of the column and pointing at it furiously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Daisy is wearing her bonnet all weird. Mrs. Patmore and Anna pressure her to take it off. Bates silently stands by, per usual (the lines they've given this character over six years could fit on a single double-spaced sheet of paper). Daisy reveals her crazy new hairdo just in time for Andy to walk by and point and laugh. Love (and hair care) is a battlefield.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna helps Daisy fix the damage and unfortunately gives her bangs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21099\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21099\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif\" alt=\"giphy-102\" width=\"362\" height=\"362\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif 362w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 362px) 100vw, 362px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/why-the-notebook-gif.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21098\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21098\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/why-the-notebook-gif.gif\" alt=\"why-the-notebook-gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy comes in and helps her clean up the hair. He then takes some of it to keep. Y'all haven't been on a single date yet so maybe cool it on the hair keepsakes for now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the church, it's time to get this wedding popping! Henry annoyingly talks about his unborn baby in a loud voice. Meanwhile, Branson flirts up a storm with Edith's editor because no straight character must be left uncoupled by the end of this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Clarkson sneaks up on Isobel and Lord Merton to say that the anemia isn't pernicious after all! Lord Merton will die of old age in, like, five years instead of right away! Woo hoo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the grand staircase at Downton, Edith descends in a gorgeous wedding dress with a veil for days. Robert is there to receive her and reiterate what everyone has said all episode: \u003cem>OMG, I can't believe things worked out for you!\u003c/em> Edith is like, \u003cem>Me neither! I was all set to live with Marigold, non-house-trained stray cats and grabby raccoons!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the ceremony, everyone is paying attention, except for Henry, who insists on talking throughout about his unborn baby in a creepy whisper. Edith withstood being left at the altar by an old dude, being spurned by her burn-victim cousin, having her fiance killed by Nazis, almost dying in a fire, having to give birth in secret, having her daughter kidnapped, etc. etc. etc. so do shut up, Henry, and let her have her moment!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The priest asks for anyone who has a problem with Edith's happy ending to speak now or forever hold their peace. Stay seated and quiet, Mary! You too, Bertie's mom! An interminable silence passes. And, phew, we made it! Go on and celebrate, beleaguered Team Edith!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Robert comes out to Cora as a feminist and tells her he's proud of her for being good at her job. Cora makes a mental note to cancel her next rendezvous with her London art dude side-piece.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy's ugly bangs tell Andy she's moving in with her father-in-law and that's she's down to go on a date at some point. If the rest of \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>'s relationships are anything to go by, they'll be married and pregnant with twins in two weeks, three tops.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. So consider Carson really freaking insane because he tries to pour something AGAIN and it, of course, goes all over the place. He turns into Gollum and spits out, \"I CANNOT POUR THE BLOODY STUFF!!!\" Robert rushes up and is like, \u003cem>Okay, that's it. Someone keep Carson away from bottles from now on please! Oh, and Thomas, you're butler now. \u003c/em>A victory for gay rights...kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna is returning the hairdryer when her water breaks on the floor. Mary doesn't smack her with a hairbrush like she probably would have six years ago. Character development!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the house, the Dowager commends Spratt on his awesome fashion and entertaining advice in front of Denker. Why keep employing such a troublemaking drunk? Eh, not enough time to care about this anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy's father-in-law comes onto Mrs. Patmore because, like I said, no straight person shall go uncoupled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith throws the bouquet before going on her honeymoon. No surprise here: her lady editor friend a.k.a. Branson's future wife catches it. Sybil's ghost will hopefully take over this woman's body as a vessel and Branson and Sybil can be together again! Hey, if Edith can have a happy ending, anything is possible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's room, Anna has a healthy baby, zero preeclampsia. Everyone pretends to not be grossed out by a servant having had a baby in an upstairs bedroom. Mary will have the soiled bed put into Edith's room in the morning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The clock strikes midnight and a new year begins. Everyone kisses and drinks and sings \"Auld Lang Syne.\" The Dowager has the last word, as she should, and is still kicking as the camera pans away from the Abbey, blanketed in snow. And I can rest easy knowing that I don't have to travel halfway across the world to Tae Bo Julian Fellowes into the next dimension.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FIN.\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Lord Merton's evil daughter-in-law:\u003c/strong> Seeing as it's the last episode, I was going to pardon everyone, but then I remembered this piece of work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Cora: \u003c/strong>Still laughing at her \"Is she pregnant or arrested for treason\" joke. And props for rocking it at her first job ever. Way to surpass my very low expectations of you, sister!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Thomas: \u003c/strong>He didn't get a make out buddy and will probably die alone, but he got his coveted butler position so that's something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>The Dowager: \u003c/strong>Mathematically speaking, she should be dead by now. But she's not. Because she's perfect and immortal. May she continue living until the planet is snuffed out by global warming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Edith\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After six years of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, for once, the people sang Jan, Jan, Jan!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21100\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21100\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"227\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's all, folks! It's been a pleasure watching along with you this season. If you want to keep up with my work, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\" target=\"_blank\">I write daily for KQED Pop\u003c/a>. You can also hear my opinions on all things pop culture on \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em> podcast\u003c/a>. And if Twitter is your thing, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\" target=\"_blank\">follow me\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 6 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/21/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-8-recap-tears-dry-on-their-own/\" target=\"_blank\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Episode 8 Recap: Tears Dry On Their Own\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/14/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-7-recap-off-to-the-races/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 7 Recap: Off to the Races\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/08/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-6-recap-i-get-so-lonely/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 6 Recap: I Get So Lonely\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/31/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-5-recap-sunday-bloody-sunday/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 5 Recap: Sunday Bloody Sunday\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/24/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-4-recap-i-will-remember-you/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 4 Recap: I Will Remember You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-3-recap-chapel-of-love-wedding\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Episode 3 Recap: Chapel of Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/10/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-2-recap-all-that-she-wants-is-another-baby/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 2: All That She Wants Is Another Baby\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/03/downton-abbey-season-6-premiere-recap-lets-talk-about-sex/\" target=\"_blank\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Premiere Recap: Let’s Talk About Sex\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Six years of weddings, funerals, and polite British smackdowns lead to this -- the final episode!",
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"title": "‘Downton Abbey’ Series Finale Recap: Shake It Off | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>It’s been two long weeks since \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/21/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-8-recap-tears-dry-on-their-own/\" target=\"_blank\">Edith finally snapped\u003c/a> and gloriously cussed Mary out! Will the series culminate in a bloody sisterly duel? Will Thomas avoid the sad, miserably alone gay trope and shack up with a hot dude? Will a sinkhole open up right underneath Carson and deliver him to H-E-double hockey sticks? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> episode we will ever watch begins the only way it can: by getting our tear ducts warmed up with shots of babies Sybbie, George and Marigold frolicking alongside brand new adorable puppy, Tia'a. This is going to be a long, emotional 93 minutes! I'm guessing you and I will both ugly cry at least once.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The whole family is on a stroll. Lady Mary obviously doesn't read my recaps because, despite my strong opinions on the matter, she insists on using a parasol, even though there is no sun anywhere in England.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith has decided to move to London and enlist Marigold in a school (*pearl clutch*). Robert, whose only function is to represent dusty, out-dated points of view, is like \u003cem>But no!\u003c/em> Everyone ignores him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cousin Isobel, ever the you-know-what-stirrer, asks, \"Does [Marigold] have any relations who ought to be kept informed?\" The Crawleys, who have won worst-secret-keepers-in-all-the-land six years running, all look at each other with expressions reserved for people who've just farted, but poorly pretend they didn't. Isobel doesn't catch on cause she's too busy gloating to herself over being right about that boring hospital merger thing that we spent SEVEN ENTIRE EPISODES on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith ends the scene by accepting her fate, which has seemed inevitable since episode one: \"Anyway, I'm a spinster, aren't I? And spinsters live alone.\" Poor Jan. And poor Marigold, really, who's in store for a life that resembles \u003cem>Grey Gardens\u003c/em>. (OMG, it just clicked that Big and Little Edie's real names were...Edith!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-10.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21082\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21082\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-10.gif\" alt=\"giphy (10)\" width=\"435\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Robert alludes to the Dowager being ill. So help me, goddess, if Julian Fellowes kills her off in this episode, I will buy a bunch of Tae Bo tapes, train for many weeks as a champion fighter, travel to England and kick his ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Henry smokes a cigarette as despairingly as possible to get Mary's attention. It works. Mary is like, \u003cem>Hey, sorry about your dead friend.\u003c/em> Henry then reveals he's not so into cars and racing anymore. Mary thinks to herself that the money she paid that auto-mechanic to mess with Henry's friend's car was well worth it. Oh, come on, would you put it past her?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the shoe polish room, where everything happens, Thomas approaches Baxter, Andy and Anna to thank them for saving his life post-suicide attempt. Baxter and Andy react like normal, empathetic human beings, by saying they were glad to do it and are glad he gets to stay a bit longer. Anna takes a different approach: \"Why not use the time [you have left here] to try and understand what brought you so low?\" Ex-squeeze me? Victim blaming? Really? Also, it won't take too much time to understand what brought him to slit his wrists: homophobic bullies like Carson, Robert, Andy and your very own husband. Get out of here, Anna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's bachelorette pad, she is very much alive (*cancels Tae Bo order*) and gossiping with cousin Isobel. Apparently, Isobel's ex's rude son invited her to tea, but then flaked. Oh, who cares, we all know this is heading to Isobel getting back with Lord Merton, let's just fast forward to the wedding and spend this precious time watching the Dowager judge all the attendees mercilessly, give a boozy, barbed speech, and dance on a table to the beat of a rowdy quintet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mrs. Hughes office, she and Anna discuss maternity leave. Carson comes in and, you guessed it, announces his disapproval of lady's maids being pregnant and/or married. He makes me so angry that I wish I had a prosthetic leg just so I could throw it at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21072\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21072\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_n8u4rtph7s1ql5yr7o1_500-gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Edith hears a cocktail shaker and says, \"What a cheering sound!\" Do you blame her? Before therapy stopped being taboo, drinking a sh*t ton was the only way to deal. And, boy, does she have a lot to deal with. Edith and all the other rich people enjoy their cocktails because all the dead relatives, burst ulcers and aborted engagements are behind them now. Or are they???\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the downstairs kitchen, Andy is bragging about how he can read and stuff now. Cool. Thomas comes by and jokingly tells him to stop the \"love talk\" with Daisy. Aw, I'm glad he's accepted Andy's non-gayness. Can't say the same for myself, though. #LetThomasMakeOut! Daisy is offended by the prospect of Andy as a lover because everything she does in this season has to make zero sense. Mrs. Patmore is like, \u003cem>Girl, please.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, the rich folk are talking about visiting the under-the-weather Dowager (*reorders Tae Bo tapes*), when Carson's body goes berserk for a second, causing him to spill a bunch of wine. OMG, did someone request another exploding, potentially fatal ulcer? Yep! That was me!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/1389789068610490524.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21074\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21074\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/1389789068610490524.gif\" alt=\"1389789068610490524\" width=\"337\" height=\"271\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Andy approaches Mrs. Patmore and asks, \"Is Daisy interested in men?\" BA HA HA.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21075\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21075\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-9.gif\" alt=\"lesbian bridesmaids gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore assures him that Daisy isn't a lesbian and Andy vows to date her. Series finales are always like this: throwing different characters together like spaghetti at a wall and seeing what sticks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Thomas gets some good news for a change. He got a job! Carson gloats, but I'm not even mad about it cause his days are numbered, muahaha.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Denker paints her nails a scandalous nude color! Good for her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith drops in to talk to Spratt a.k.a. Cassandra Jones about how awesome he is at writing about lady things. So awesome that he's getting a full page spread in every issue from now on! This storyline is amazing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Molesley tells Baxter he doesn't really get the point of shampoo (he probably doesn't like it cause it makes his shoe polish hair dye run). They bump into the schoolmaster, who offers Molesley a full-time position and an apartment. Another storyline, quickly wrapped lickety-split.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a drive to London, Edith makes Henry promise not to tell Mary about Spratt's secret identity. He asks why not and Edith gives a loaded look like \u003cem>Uhhhh, remember the last time she found out a secret and got me de-titled and mercilessly dumped?! Yeah, so zip the lip, pretty boy.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Dowager's, Denker doesn't waste any time threatening Spratt in order to find out what he's hiding. Her wig really does deserve an acting award, or at least a prize for most attention-grabbing accessory.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the Abbey, Andy asks Daisy to go on a walk and she's like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/no-toddlers-tiaras-diva.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21076\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21076\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/no-toddlers-tiaras-diva.gif\" alt=\"no-toddlers-tiaras-diva\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Patmore tells her to chill out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few minutes later, Carson interrupts a convo between Mrs. Patmore and Hughes. He takes a cup of tea and his hand shakes a bunch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21077\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif\" alt=\"kim-kardashian-smiling\" width=\"245\" height=\"237\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/kim-kardashian-smiling-32x32.gif 32w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mrs. Hughes follows him into his office to confront him about whatever is going on with his health, but he denies anything is going on until Molesley comes in to share his good news (bad idea). Carson obviously makes Molesley feel like crap about his new teaching opportunity because, even on his way to his death bed, it's important that he stay consistent in being the most miserable person to ever grace the moors of Yorkshire.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's, she still alive and hanging out with Mary and Robert. Edith's breakup comes up and Mary has a cat-ate-the-canary look about her; she either has a plan to get them back together or is just very pleased with how she broke them up in 30 seconds or less, a new record for her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The topic switches to Cora taking over the Dowager's hospital gig because the \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers think we're heavily invested in that dead horse of a storyline (we're not). Then this exchange happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Mary:\u003c/strong> \"Swallow it, Granny. It's stuck in your craw long enough.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Dowager:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, don't worry about me. I gobbled it up long ago. It's your father who seems to have difficulty swallowing these days.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/550.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21078\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21078\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/550.gif\" alt=\"pee wee oh snap gif\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Isobel drops in on her ex. Despite humming Taylor Swift's \"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together\" to herself for weeks, she feels like \u003cem>Hmm, maybe we will?\u003c/em> Well, it's too little too late because Lord Merton is suffering from pernicious anemia and is going to die pretty soon. Exes: use 'em or lose 'em!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Edith shows Henry her London digs and HE CALLS HER EDIE, further solidifying my \u003cem>Grey Gardens\u003c/em> theory! He confesses that he's giving up driving, but has some concerns about how Mary will take it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Henry:\u003c/strong> \"She certainly won't enjoy the transformation of her glamorous ace of a husband into a man who sits about the house with nothing to do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Edith:\u003c/strong> \"Well, then, you must find something to do.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Another women's advice column, coming right up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, a huge, scary hairdryer comes in the mail. If Chekhov's principle holds (\"If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off\"), then someone is getting a rad blowout by the end of this episode. Let it be Mrs. Patmore!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It probably won't be though because Daisy is complaining about how she's never changed her hairstyle (her age also hasn't changed over the 13 years we've known these people, but who's counting). Andy tries to flirt some more by telling her she doesn't need to change her hair. Daisy responds the only way she knows how:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-11.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21083\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21083\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"clueless ew get off me gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Aunt Rosamund is taking Edith to the Ritz for dinner. They are talking smack about Mary cause what else is there to talk about really? They roll up to the table and - boom! - Bertie is standing there. Aunt Rosamund is like \u003cem>K byeee! \u003c/em>Miles away, canary-in-the-mouth Mary smiles to herself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Edith and Bertie have a dramatic post-breakup convo in front of their waiter, who is internally eating popcorn and going Ooooo. Edith is being pretty harsh with Bertie. Memo to Edith: \u003cem>Hey, girl. It's me. Um, remember that whole thing where you lied to him about having a daughter and irrevocably damaged the trust between you? Yeah. Be nicer.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My memo must have been lost because she makes Bertie cry, while the waiter who's pretending not to be eating all this up, pours champagne. But all's well that ends well: they get back together! And no one has pernicious anemia! Yay!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, in the shoe polish room (where else?), Thomas tells Baxter he's going to try and be someone else at his new job. No, Tommy, it's not you, it's them!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Robert bursts into the bedroom with breaking news about Edith:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong> \"You're not going to believe it!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong> \"She's pregnant again?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Robert:\u003c/strong> \"No!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Cora:\u003c/strong> \"She's been arrested for treason?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-12.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21084\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21084\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-12.gif\" alt=\"laughing gif\" width=\"650\" height=\"276\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Best use of Cora in six whole seasons!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's, she and Isobel talk about how pernicious pernicious anemia is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, the fam is taking off to meet Edith's mother-in-law. Thomas says his goodbyes and thanks Robert for his homophobia over the years. WTF. Then, Cora reminds me that Thomas saved Edith from dying in a fire! That makes the way people have treated Thomas all season even worse! I'm glad he's ditching these jerks once and for all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy plays around with Snapchat filters:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21110\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21110\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg\" alt=\"snapchat\" width=\"1136\" height=\"599\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat.jpg 1136w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-400x211.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-800x422.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-768x405.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-960x506.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1136px) 100vw, 1136px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21109\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2.jpg\" alt=\"snapchat-2\" width=\"1134\" height=\"601\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2.jpg 1134w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-400x212.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-800x424.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-768x407.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/snapchat-2-960x509.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1134px) 100vw, 1134px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daisy thinks she looks frumpy and unemployable. Andy says he would hire her. Daisy, once again, is not having any of it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/14-02-Clueless-quotes.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21087\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21087\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/14-02-Clueless-quotes.gif\" alt=\"clueless ugh as if gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In some other part of England, Cora and Robert drive up to the gargantuan castle that is set to be Edith's future home. Mary can have Downton. Inside, they walk through room after room after room to get to the one that holds Bertie and his mom. Then, Edith makes her entrance and Bertie's mom is like:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n61pvrcKmx1rvnnvyo2_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21088\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21088\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n61pvrcKmx1rvnnvyo2_250.gif\" alt=\"arrested development her gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"106\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Henry is STILL talking about how he's decided to give up racing. Yes, we know! I gave up yoga and trying to learn French and drinking Long Island Iced Teas, but you don't hear me carrying on about it, do you? Get on with your life!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Carson goes to pour something again and shakes it all over the table.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21089\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21089\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43.gif\" alt=\"81392-Lady-Gaga-evil-smile-gif-bj43\" width=\"500\" height=\"198\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Edith's palace, Bertie's mom makes it clear that she is not moving out EVER! Everyone is like, \u003cem>Um, we didn't say anything. \u003c/em>She goes on to ramble about how Bertie must bring morality and family values back to the title because his dead cousin was super gay and loved painting Moroccan boys. So now they have to tell her about Marigold \u003cem>and\u003c/em> Thomas.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the village, Isobel and her dying ex visit Dr. Clarkson who says \u003cem>Yeah, you're going to be dead soon. Sorry not sorry.\u003c/em> (Remember their love triangle B-plot?) Then, Dr. Clarkson has to watch them make goo-goo eyes at each other, while he internally screams.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside of the doctor's office, Lord Merton's evil daughter-in-law is waiting to snatch him away. Isobel tries to have a \u003cem>Real Housewives\u003c/em> moment with her, but she's bad at being taken seriously and is cut off mid-sentence by evil daughter-in-law: \"Heavens, is that the time? Good day, Mrs Crawley!\" Okay, time to call in reinforcements a.k.a. the Dowager.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Henry is STILL moaning about not having a hobby. He sure is lucky he has a nice face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Thomas says his final goodbyes and forgives everyone for making him so miserable he wanted to die in a bathtub. He even thanks Carson. Since we haven't ugly cried yet, the kids are brought in to say goodbye:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Baby George:\u003c/strong> \"Please don't go.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Thomas:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, I must go, Master George, but remember I will always be your friend wherever I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/2breakup.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21090\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21090\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/2breakup.gif\" alt=\"little boy cry gif\" width=\"370\" height=\"204\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Fortress Edith, Edith decides to tell Bertie's mom everything. Eeeek!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Thomas' new workplace, his super old employer confirms that there are only two other servants in the whole place. Thomas looks out a window and despairs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/h9lBkag.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21092\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21092\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/h9lBkag.gif\" alt=\"friends look out window gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Daisy's father-in-law's farm, Daisy watches Andy seductively hammer nails, while wearing a thin, sweaty laborer's shirt. Her father-in-law mentions Andy's \"young man's muscles\" and how he is a \"crackin' lad,\" leading Daisy to have an epiphany:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lasu2ikxkq1qeolcio1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21091\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21091\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lasu2ikxkq1qeolcio1_500.gif\" alt=\"clueless i love josh gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Edith's British Versailles, Bertie has it out with his mother over Edith's secret illegitimate child. His mom calls Edith \"damaged goods.\" *cue the Jerry Springer audience ooooo's*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Merton's, evil daughter-in-law slams the door in Isobel's face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n08a4e5HPE1tq03tdo1_400.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21093\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21093\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n08a4e5HPE1tq03tdo1_400.gif\" alt=\"door slam gif\" width=\"360\" height=\"186\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Branson and Henry plot something that probably has to do with cars. Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Carson's office, Molesley arrives to give in his notice, but says he hopes to pitch in on special occasions since he'll still have his livery. Carson is unsurprisingly terrible: \"Your livery stays here!\" Even Mrs. Hughes is like \u003cem>Dude, give the evil thing a rest! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Thomas' new spot, he snuffs out dinner candles, just like his desire to live has been.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Petite Trianon, the banquet where Bertie wants to announce his engagement is underway. They are serving things out of carved pineapples! Every time Bertie attempts to tell everyone about marrying Edith, his mom toast-blocks him. She eventually relents and everyone celebrates by getting wasted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Lord Merton's, the Dowager teaches evil daughter-in-law who runs sh*t around here by bursting in and creating a scene, which leads to Lord Merton finding out her nefarious plan, getting engaged to Isobel, and telling his son: \"Larry, as my son, I love you, but I've tried and failed to like you.\" Check mate!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-13.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21094\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21094\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-13.gif\" alt=\"downton dowager gif\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Edith is back from her castle and takes Mary aside to thank her for arranging the Ritz summit. Mary explains why she's being nice to Edith for the first time ever: \"Look, we're blood and we're stuck with it. So, let's try and do a little better in future.\" Peace in the Middle East\u003cem> is\u003c/em> possible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy is finally ready to make out with Andy, but he's over it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/diss.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21095\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21095\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/diss.gif\" alt=\"diss\" width=\"400\" height=\"267\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time leap to December 29, 1925, the week of Edith's wedding! Cousin Rose shows up from America without her three-month-old because what a bother that would be. She runs around, hyper as ever, greeting everyone and not being Sybil (nice try, \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em> writers).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at the Dowager's, Denker threatens to reveal Spratt's secret identity. We're seriously wasting time on another Denker-blackmails-someone storyline?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Downton, Cora tells everyone about her cool new job over dinner. Robert gets mad that she's a woman with something to do, other than doting on a man. He grumpily asks Carson for more wine, but Carson can't pour it. Later, he tells Robert that he must resign because he can no longer perform his duties.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n01qr7iwJj1qhg1oco1_500-1.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21096\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21096\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_n01qr7iwJj1qhg1oco1_500-1.gif\" alt=\"maleficent gif evil smile\" width=\"500\" height=\"415\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Henry and Branson finally let Mary in on their secret: they opened a used car dealership! She pretends to be excited and not at all bothered to her innermost core over Edith getting the castle and fancy title. Oh, and because it's the last episode and everything possible must take place, Mary's pregnant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Rose forces Robert to visit the hospital so he can see Cora at work and realize that it's okay for women to do things. He blossoms into a feminist in 2.3 seconds. It's about time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Downton, Daisy is on a mission to upgrade her look. She sneaks into Mary's room and snags the hairdryer. This will not end well. Please don't get bangs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the Dowager's, Denker is still working on getting Spratt in trouble. The Dowager is not biting at all the hints she's dropping so Denker must resort to Plan B: just giving her a copy of the column and pointing at it furiously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Daisy is wearing her bonnet all weird. Mrs. Patmore and Anna pressure her to take it off. Bates silently stands by, per usual (the lines they've given this character over six years could fit on a single double-spaced sheet of paper). Daisy reveals her crazy new hairdo just in time for Andy to walk by and point and laugh. Love (and hair care) is a battlefield.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anna helps Daisy fix the damage and unfortunately gives her bangs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21099\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21099\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif\" alt=\"giphy-102\" width=\"362\" height=\"362\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102.gif 362w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-102-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 362px) 100vw, 362px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/why-the-notebook-gif.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21098\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21098\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/why-the-notebook-gif.gif\" alt=\"why-the-notebook-gif\" width=\"245\" height=\"160\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Andy comes in and helps her clean up the hair. He then takes some of it to keep. Y'all haven't been on a single date yet so maybe cool it on the hair keepsakes for now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the church, it's time to get this wedding popping! Henry annoyingly talks about his unborn baby in a loud voice. Meanwhile, Branson flirts up a storm with Edith's editor because no straight character must be left uncoupled by the end of this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Clarkson sneaks up on Isobel and Lord Merton to say that the anemia isn't pernicious after all! Lord Merton will die of old age in, like, five years instead of right away! Woo hoo!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the grand staircase at Downton, Edith descends in a gorgeous wedding dress with a veil for days. Robert is there to receive her and reiterate what everyone has said all episode: \u003cem>OMG, I can't believe things worked out for you!\u003c/em> Edith is like, \u003cem>Me neither! I was all set to live with Marigold, non-house-trained stray cats and grabby raccoons!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>During the ceremony, everyone is paying attention, except for Henry, who insists on talking throughout about his unborn baby in a creepy whisper. Edith withstood being left at the altar by an old dude, being spurned by her burn-victim cousin, having her fiance killed by Nazis, almost dying in a fire, having to give birth in secret, having her daughter kidnapped, etc. etc. etc. so do shut up, Henry, and let her have her moment!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The priest asks for anyone who has a problem with Edith's happy ending to speak now or forever hold their peace. Stay seated and quiet, Mary! You too, Bertie's mom! An interminable silence passes. And, phew, we made it! Go on and celebrate, beleaguered Team Edith!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Robert comes out to Cora as a feminist and tells her he's proud of her for being good at her job. Cora makes a mental note to cancel her next rendezvous with her London art dude side-piece.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy's ugly bangs tell Andy she's moving in with her father-in-law and that's she's down to go on a date at some point. If the rest of \u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>'s relationships are anything to go by, they'll be married and pregnant with twins in two weeks, three tops.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. So consider Carson really freaking insane because he tries to pour something AGAIN and it, of course, goes all over the place. He turns into Gollum and spits out, \"I CANNOT POUR THE BLOODY STUFF!!!\" Robert rushes up and is like, \u003cem>Okay, that's it. Someone keep Carson away from bottles from now on please! Oh, and Thomas, you're butler now. \u003c/em>A victory for gay rights...kinda.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Anna is returning the hairdryer when her water breaks on the floor. Mary doesn't smack her with a hairbrush like she probably would have six years ago. Character development!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere in the house, the Dowager commends Spratt on his awesome fashion and entertaining advice in front of Denker. Why keep employing such a troublemaking drunk? Eh, not enough time to care about this anymore.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Downstairs, Daisy's father-in-law comes onto Mrs. Patmore because, like I said, no straight person shall go uncoupled.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upstairs, Edith throws the bouquet before going on her honeymoon. No surprise here: her lady editor friend a.k.a. Branson's future wife catches it. Sybil's ghost will hopefully take over this woman's body as a vessel and Branson and Sybil can be together again! Hey, if Edith can have a happy ending, anything is possible!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Mary's room, Anna has a healthy baby, zero preeclampsia. Everyone pretends to not be grossed out by a servant having had a baby in an upstairs bedroom. Mary will have the soiled bed put into Edith's room in the morning.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The clock strikes midnight and a new year begins. Everyone kisses and drinks and sings \"Auld Lang Syne.\" The Dowager has the last word, as she should, and is still kicking as the camera pans away from the Abbey, blanketed in snow. And I can rest easy knowing that I don't have to travel halfway across the world to Tae Bo Julian Fellowes into the next dimension.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>FIN.\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>After every episode, it's only right to reward characters who've impressed and diss the ones that haven't, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Lord Merton's evil daughter-in-law:\u003c/strong> Seeing as it's the last episode, I was going to pardon everyone, but then I remembered this piece of work.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong> Cora: \u003c/strong>Still laughing at her \"Is she pregnant or arrested for treason\" joke. And props for rocking it at her first job ever. Way to surpass my very low expectations of you, sister!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>Thomas: \u003c/strong>He didn't get a make out buddy and will probably die alone, but he got his coveted butler position so that's something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003cstrong>The Dowager: \u003c/strong>Mathematically speaking, she should be dead by now. But she's not. Because she's perfect and immortal. May she continue living until the planet is snuffed out by global warming.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>\u003cem>GOLD:\u003c/em> Edith\u003cstrong>\u003cstrong>:\u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>\u003cstrong> \u003c/strong>\u003c/strong>After six years of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, for once, the people sang Jan, Jan, Jan!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21100\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21100\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m6rceyJesA1rpzt3uo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"227\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's all, folks! It's been a pleasure watching along with you this season. If you want to keep up with my work, \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/author/ehapsis/\" target=\"_blank\">I write daily for KQED Pop\u003c/a>. You can also hear my opinions on all things pop culture on \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em> podcast\u003c/a>. And if Twitter is your thing, \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\" target=\"_blank\">follow me\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Previous Season 6 recaps:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/21/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-8-recap-tears-dry-on-their-own/\" target=\"_blank\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Episode 8 Recap: Tears Dry On Their Own\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/14/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-7-recap-off-to-the-races/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 7 Recap: Off to the Races\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/08/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-6-recap-i-get-so-lonely/\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 6 Recap: I Get So Lonely\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/31/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-5-recap-sunday-bloody-sunday/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 5 Recap: Sunday Bloody Sunday\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/24/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-4-recap-i-will-remember-you/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 4 Recap: I Will Remember You\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-3-recap-chapel-of-love-wedding\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Episode 3 Recap: Chapel of Love\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/10/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-2-recap-all-that-she-wants-is-another-baby/\" target=\"_blank\">'Downton Abbey' Season 6 Episode 2: All That She Wants Is Another Baby\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/01/03/downton-abbey-season-6-premiere-recap-lets-talk-about-sex/\" target=\"_blank\">‘Downton Abbey’ Season 6 Premiere Recap: Let’s Talk About Sex\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "The Best Quotes from Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess, Queen of Shade",
"title": "The Best Quotes from Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess, Queen of Shade",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>\u003cem>This piece was inspired by an episode of \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">The Cooler.\u003c/a> Give it a listen!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/249974933&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over the past six years, I've had a love-hate relationship with \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>. Like with most romances, things started off hot and heavy, but eventually cooled way down (my turning point: when they killed off Sybil, the woman responsible for making harem-pants and marrying poor, hot dudes fashionable). But, through all the recycled storylines (Bates is in trouble with the law...again! Edith is unlucky in love...again!) and snoozy B-plots (the old people argue over a hospital merger...for 7 whole episodes!), there was one shining light that kept me watching: the Dowager Countess. Before this often great/sometimes terrible show rides off into the sunset, let's take a moment to give credit where credit is due and appreciate her finest moments:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Wh-what is being wrong?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21006\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21006\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet.gif\" alt=\"downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet\" width=\"500\" height=\"190\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21005\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21005\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9.gif\" alt=\"20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">If they aren't insulted the first time, try, try again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-7.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21011\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21011\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-7.gif\" alt=\"giphy (7)\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21010\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21010\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey.gif\" alt=\"dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>The Godfather\u003c/em> prequel:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21001\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21001\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">You thought she needed the walking stick for stability but it was a weapon this whole time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21007\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21007\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe.gif\" alt=\"ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe\" width=\"540\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">That time she saw Mary's new bob haircut for the first time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21030\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ohitsyou-1451488191.gif\" alt=\"ohitsyou-1451488191\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When she called her own son a waiter:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-8.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21009\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21009\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"giphy (8)\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21027\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The time she first encountered electricity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21004\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21004\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or that time she sat in a swivel chair for the first time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21022\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9.gif\" alt=\"e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Always there to remind you to have some dignity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21008\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21008\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"273\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Cajoling, the hard way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-6.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21013\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21013\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-6.gif\" alt=\"giphy (6)\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Always telling people exactly what they need to hear:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21014\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21014\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Talk to you never, dude:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21015\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21015\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large\" width=\"250\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">#DealWithIt:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21017\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21017\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r.gif\" alt=\"ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r\" width=\"400\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Keeping religion going, one rude thought at a time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/weL5oyT.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20998\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20998\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/weL5oyT.gif\" alt=\"weL5oyT\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">If the queen of all snobs tells you to stop being snobby, you might want to reevaluate some things:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/large.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20999\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20999\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/large.gif\" alt=\"large\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Gird your loins:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21000\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21000\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Not wasting any time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21002\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21002\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"310\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She invented \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghosting\" target=\"_blank\">ghosting\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21003\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21003\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b.gif\" alt=\"e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b\" width=\"245\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Putting your saintly martyrdom on notice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21018\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21018\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3.gif\" alt=\"259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">I don't like talking on the phone either:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21023\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21023\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Who run the world? Girls! (But mostly the Dowager Countess):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21024\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21024\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">#1 fan of drama:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-4.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21028\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21028\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"giphy (4)\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Nose up, guns out:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21029\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21029\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21019\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/wrong.gif\" alt=\"wrong\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"embedly-card\">\n\u003cdiv class=\"royalSlider hero rsDefault rsHor rsWebkit3d rsWithThumbs rsWithThumbsHor\">\n\u003cdiv class=\"rsGCaption\">\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless you, Dowager Countess, for every beautiful thing you've ever said. I'm so glad you're immortal and will never die.\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Still want more \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to this episode of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">The Cooler\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, which features some quotes from this post and a quiz!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/03/are-you-too-old-for-snapchat/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You can also take said quiz yourself:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/03/quiz-how-well-do-you-know-downton-abbey/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we have much more \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>-related content\u003c/a>, like recaps, guides and mixtapes:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/21/downton-abbey-season-6-episode-8-recap-tears-dry-on-their-own/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/5-authentic-anglophile-experiences-in-the-bay-area-for-downton-abbey-fans\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/15/crawley-girls-a-downton-abbey-mixtape/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Before this often great/sometimes terrible show rides off into the sunset, let's take a moment to appreciate the Dowager's finest moments.",
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"description": "Before this often great/sometimes terrible show rides off into the sunset, let's take a moment to appreciate the Dowager's finest moments.",
"title": "The Best Quotes from Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess, Queen of Shade | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This piece was inspired by an episode of \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">The Cooler.\u003c/a> Give it a listen!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe width=\"100%\" height=\"166\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/249974933&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over the past six years, I've had a love-hate relationship with \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>. Like with most romances, things started off hot and heavy, but eventually cooled way down (my turning point: when they killed off Sybil, the woman responsible for making harem-pants and marrying poor, hot dudes fashionable). But, through all the recycled storylines (Bates is in trouble with the law...again! Edith is unlucky in love...again!) and snoozy B-plots (the old people argue over a hospital merger...for 7 whole episodes!), there was one shining light that kept me watching: the Dowager Countess. Before this often great/sometimes terrible show rides off into the sunset, let's take a moment to give credit where credit is due and appreciate her finest moments:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Wh-what is being wrong?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21006\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21006\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet.gif\" alt=\"downton-abbey-isobel-crawley-wrong-violet\" width=\"500\" height=\"190\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21005\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21005\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9.gif\" alt=\"20511e5d054498084d75bb53a08487e9\" width=\"245\" height=\"300\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">If they aren't insulted the first time, try, try again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-7.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21011\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21011\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-7.gif\" alt=\"giphy (7)\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21010\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21010\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey.gif\" alt=\"dowager-countess-isobel-said-it-wrong-downton-abbey\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>The Godfather\u003c/em> prequel:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21001\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21001\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_lrfxhzlWBs1qb10wfo1_r1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">You thought she needed the walking stick for stability but it was a weapon this whole time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21007\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21007\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe.gif\" alt=\"ba8f4c334eecc72bb642ecdef0e281fe\" width=\"540\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">That time she saw Mary's new bob haircut for the first time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21030\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ohitsyou-1451488191.gif\" alt=\"ohitsyou-1451488191\" width=\"500\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">When she called her own son a waiter:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-8.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21009\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21009\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-8.gif\" alt=\"giphy (8)\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21027\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-5954-1414630101-8-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">The time she first encountered electricity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21004\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21004\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_ly5y5r8yCD1qhge4wo1_250-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Or that time she sat in a swivel chair for the first time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21022\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9.gif\" alt=\"e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9.gif 245w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e987f8a0-fe49-0131-0751-0eae5eefacd9-75x75.gif 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 245px) 100vw, 245px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Always there to remind you to have some dignity:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21008\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21008\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mtjtw57EIe1qga2g5o2_250\" width=\"245\" height=\"273\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Cajoling, the hard way:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-6.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21013\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21013\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-6.gif\" alt=\"giphy (6)\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Always telling people exactly what they need to hear:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21014\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21014\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mibwzhvOeF1qzi80do2_r1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Talk to you never, dude:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21015\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21015\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_m14w0yDSpz1ql439fo1_250_large\" width=\"250\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">#DealWithIt:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21017\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21017\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r.gif\" alt=\"ut_that_in_your_pipe_and_smoke_itde3r23rwr3r\" width=\"400\" height=\"214\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Keeping religion going, one rude thought at a time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/weL5oyT.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20998\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20998\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/weL5oyT.gif\" alt=\"weL5oyT\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">If the queen of all snobs tells you to stop being snobby, you might want to reevaluate some things:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/large.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-20999\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20999\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/large.gif\" alt=\"large\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Gird your loins:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21000\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21000\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nwu7wbKlrR1swrlk9o2_r2_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Not wasting any time:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21002\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21002\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nw2tcrhS4g1qb2flgo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"310\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She invented \u003ca href=\"http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ghosting\" target=\"_blank\">ghosting\u003c/a>:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21003\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21003\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b.gif\" alt=\"e83199454f01ffa27e956b1e8f3a9f2b\" width=\"245\" height=\"306\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Putting your saintly martyrdom on notice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21018\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21018\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3.gif\" alt=\"259815b7564d0955623c07a9a5420ce3\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">I don't like talking on the phone either:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21023\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21023\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nhkajyXZlh1qlp8eco1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"220\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Who run the world? Girls! (But mostly the Dowager Countess):\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21024\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21024\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_mmug3rPb9W1_1811686a\" width=\"500\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">#1 fan of drama:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-4.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21028\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21028\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/giphy-4.gif\" alt=\"giphy (4)\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Nose up, guns out:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-21029\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21029\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42.gif\" alt=\"anigif_enhanced-28670-1414628833-42\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-21019\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/wrong.gif\" alt=\"wrong\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"embedly-card\">\n\u003cdiv class=\"royalSlider hero rsDefault rsHor rsWebkit3d rsWithThumbs rsWithThumbsHor\">\n\u003cdiv class=\"rsGCaption\">\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless you, Dowager Countess, for every beautiful thing you've ever said. I'm so glad you're immortal and will never die.\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>Still want more \u003cem>Downton Abbey\u003c/em>?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Listen to this episode of \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/category/the-cooler/\" target=\"_blank\">The Cooler\u003c/a>\u003c/em>, which features some quotes from this post and a quiz!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>You can also take said quiz yourself:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>And we have much more \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/downton-abbey/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Downton\u003c/em>-related content\u003c/a>, like recaps, guides and mixtapes:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/5-authentic-anglophile-experiences-in-the-bay-area-for-downton-abbey-fans\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "Cy and David's Picks: Listening to a Luscious Soprano, Southern Rap, and a DIY Moog",
"headTitle": "Cy and David’s Picks: Listening to a Luscious Soprano, Southern Rap, and a DIY Moog | KQED",
"content": "\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003ch4>KQED’s Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week.\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>http://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/thedolist/2016/03/TDL0304.mp3\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mQk-W1m9v8\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 8: \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"http://efdebris.virb.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Eleanor Friedberger\u003c/a> was great as half of a quirky duo with her brother in Fiery Furnaces\u003cem>,\u003c/em> but her songs have just gotten stronger since you went solo in 2011. Her new album \u003ca href=\"http://www.eleanorfriedberger.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>New View\u003c/em> \u003c/a>includes lyrics mixing surreal fragments and intimate detail (” Today I feel frozen, but tomorrow I’ll write about you.”). She plays the \u003ca href=\"http://www.theindependentsf.com/event/1007573-eleanor-friedberger-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Independent Tuesday night\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377394\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 486px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792.jpg\" alt=\"Opel Productions\" width=\"486\" height=\"322\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792.jpg 486w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792-400x265.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 486px) 100vw, 486px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Opel Productions \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Opel Productions)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5: \u003c/strong>We don’t usually mention DJ sets on The Do List, but we’re making an exception for a pair of anniversaries.\u003ca href=\"http://www.opelproductions.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Opel, \u003c/a>run by Syd Gris, is celebrating 14 years using the dance community as a positive vehicle of change. And on Saturday, they’re throwing a party at Public Works with a DJ set from LA’s \u003ca href=\"http://thecrystalmethod.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Crystal Method\u003c/a>, celebrating it’s 20th anniversary. According to Gris, this maybe the electronic music duo’s last performance before a long hiatus.\u003cbr>\nDetails \u003ca href=\"http://publicsf.com/events/opel-14-year-anniversary-w-the-crystal-method-dj-set-13740\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377390\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-11377390\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1180x885.jpg\" alt=\"Joan Jeanrenaud and Charlie Varon collaborate on 'The Second Time Around' at The Marsh \" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-400x300.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-960x720.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joan Jeanrenaud and Charlie Varon collaborate on ‘The Second Time Around’ at The Marsh \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Cy Musiker)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5-17:\u003c/strong> We’ve often highlighted plays by solo artist \u003ca href=\"http://www.charlievaron.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Charlie Varon\u003c/a> on The Do List. He’s smart, he’s funny, he works with the great director David Ford; what’s not to like. But \u003ca href=\"http://themarsh.org/uncategorized/joan-jeanrenaud-charlie-varon/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>The Second Time Around\u003c/em> \u003c/a>is the first show where Varon has a musical accompaniist, the brilliant San Francisco cellist \u003ca href=\"http://www.jjcello.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Joan Jeanrenaud\u003c/a>, formerly of \u003ca href=\"http://www.kronosquartet.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kronos Quartet\u003c/a>. Their new duet is called \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://themarsh.org/uncategorized/joan-jeanrenaud-charlie-varon/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Second Time Around,\u003c/a>\u003c/em> and Varon says it’s part of a series he’s doing about feisty old Jews. (The last one was \u003cem>Feisty Old Jew). Second Time Around is about a\u003c/em> World War Two veteran recalling his time as a bomber pilot. “A lot of the time Ben is in memory land, in his emotions and regrets.” Varon told me this week when I asked why he decided to work with Jeanrenaud, “And the cello is the great expresser of the inner life of human beings. ” And Jeanrenaud added, “I think the cello is a natural indicator of someone’s inner life. The nature of the instrument, it’s range, much like a human voice.” Details\u003ca href=\"http://Varon%20told%20me%20this%20week%20when%20I%20asked%20why%20he%20decided%20to%20work%20with%20Jeanrenaud,\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufDLvge-T_U\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> Soprano \u003ca href=\"http://www.reneefleming.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rene Fleming\u003c/a> has one of the most luscious voices in classical music. But what grabbed our attention this week was her choice of repertoire; she’s singing music by Rachmaninoff and Schumann, but also songs by Chicago jazz pianist and composer \u003ca href=\"http://www.patriciabarber.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Patricia Barber\u003c/a>. Fleming and Barber hit it off after meeting in Chicago (apparently they bonded over a discussion of mucous, a common problem for singers). Fleming and her accompaniist Olga Kern play \u003ca href=\"http://calperformances.org/performances/2015-16/recital/renee-fleming.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Cal Performances Saturday at Zellerbach Hall.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377500\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377500\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest.png\" alt=\"Moogfest\" width=\"640\" height=\"247\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest.png 640w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest-400x154.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Moogfest\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> My dad used to make\u003ca href=\"https://shop.heathkit.com/shop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> radio sets\u003c/a>. And I had friends who made kit computers. But this is new: a DIY \u003ca href=\"http://www.moogmusic.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Moog Synthesizer\u003c/a>, the analog daddy of all electronic music. This is one of a series of Moog demos and DIY sessions around the country, and will feature master synthesist Suzanne Ciani doing an evening performance. The workshops and performances are at \u003ca href=\"http://grayarea.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gray Area\u003c/a> in San Francisco. The \u003ca href=\"http://grayarea.org/event/moogfest-dial-tones/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">youth workshop (bring your kids) starts at 12:30; the adult workshop at 5:00pm\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2IuB9GPSE0\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 8:\u003c/strong> Pell’s mix of singing and chanting lyrics has been called dream rap, cloud rap, and trip hop. Pell, born Jared Pellerin, mixes Southern Rap with a NOLA sound (he grew up in New Orleans before Hurricane Katrina displaced his family). We think the music is little bit psychedelic, a little bit silly, and a lot of fun. Pell plays the \u003ca href=\"http://www.catalystclub.com/event/1031181-pell-santa-cruz/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catalyst in Santa Cruz Monday March 7\u003c/a>, and the \u003ca href=\"http://thenewparish.com/event.cfm?id=229544\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Parish in Oakland\u003c/a> on Tuesday March 8.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 850px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377512\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet.jpg\" alt=\"Jack Quartet\" width=\"850\" height=\"566\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet.jpg 850w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jack Quartet \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Justin Bernhaut)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> Pivot is a new music series from San Francisco Performances with an edgy profile, and a mission to recruit younger audiences. The series opens with the \u003ca href=\"http://www.jackquartet.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jack Quartet \u003c/a>playing \u003cem>The \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV7h04abies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Quartet Number 3\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV7h04abies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> by George Friedrich Haas\u003c/a> totally in the dark, as the composer directed.\u003ca href=\"http://www.performances.org/performances/1516/Pivot.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> \u003c/a>The show is almost sure to weed out SFP’s older subscribers, \u003ca href=\"http://www.performances.org/performances/1516/Pivot.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">it starts at 11pm at the Strand Theater in San Francisco.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "KQED's Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week.",
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"title": "Cy and David's Picks: Listening to a Luscious Soprano, Southern Rap, and a DIY Moog | KQED",
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"headline": "Cy and David's Picks: Listening to a Luscious Soprano, Southern Rap, and a DIY Moog",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003ch4>KQED’s Cy Musiker and David Wiegand share their picks for great events around the Bay Area this week.\u003c/h4>\n\u003cp>http://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/thedolist/2016/03/TDL0304.mp3\u003cbr>\n\u003c/p>\u003c/aside>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/3mQk-W1m9v8'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/3mQk-W1m9v8'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 8: \u003c/strong>\u003ca href=\"http://efdebris.virb.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Eleanor Friedberger\u003c/a> was great as half of a quirky duo with her brother in Fiery Furnaces\u003cem>,\u003c/em> but her songs have just gotten stronger since you went solo in 2011. Her new album \u003ca href=\"http://www.eleanorfriedberger.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>New View\u003c/em> \u003c/a>includes lyrics mixing surreal fragments and intimate detail (” Today I feel frozen, but tomorrow I’ll write about you.”). She plays the \u003ca href=\"http://www.theindependentsf.com/event/1007573-eleanor-friedberger-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Independent Tuesday night\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377394\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 486px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377394\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792.jpg\" alt=\"Opel Productions\" width=\"486\" height=\"322\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792.jpg 486w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Opel-Productions-e1457046556792-400x265.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 486px) 100vw, 486px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Opel Productions \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Opel Productions)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5: \u003c/strong>We don’t usually mention DJ sets on The Do List, but we’re making an exception for a pair of anniversaries.\u003ca href=\"http://www.opelproductions.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Opel, \u003c/a>run by Syd Gris, is celebrating 14 years using the dance community as a positive vehicle of change. And on Saturday, they’re throwing a party at Public Works with a DJ set from LA’s \u003ca href=\"http://thecrystalmethod.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Crystal Method\u003c/a>, celebrating it’s 20th anniversary. According to Gris, this maybe the electronic music duo’s last performance before a long hiatus.\u003cbr>\nDetails \u003ca href=\"http://publicsf.com/events/opel-14-year-anniversary-w-the-crystal-method-dj-set-13740\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377390\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-11377390\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1180x885.jpg\" alt=\"Joan Jeanrenaud and Charlie Varon collaborate on 'The Second Time Around' at The Marsh \" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1180x885.jpg 1180w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-400x300.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-800x600.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-768x576.jpg 768w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-1920x1440.jpg 1920w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/001-960x720.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Joan Jeanrenaud and Charlie Varon collaborate on ‘The Second Time Around’ at The Marsh \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Cy Musiker)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5-17:\u003c/strong> We’ve often highlighted plays by solo artist \u003ca href=\"http://www.charlievaron.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Charlie Varon\u003c/a> on The Do List. He’s smart, he’s funny, he works with the great director David Ford; what’s not to like. But \u003ca href=\"http://themarsh.org/uncategorized/joan-jeanrenaud-charlie-varon/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cem>The Second Time Around\u003c/em> \u003c/a>is the first show where Varon has a musical accompaniist, the brilliant San Francisco cellist \u003ca href=\"http://www.jjcello.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Joan Jeanrenaud\u003c/a>, formerly of \u003ca href=\"http://www.kronosquartet.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kronos Quartet\u003c/a>. Their new duet is called \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://themarsh.org/uncategorized/joan-jeanrenaud-charlie-varon/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Second Time Around,\u003c/a>\u003c/em> and Varon says it’s part of a series he’s doing about feisty old Jews. (The last one was \u003cem>Feisty Old Jew). Second Time Around is about a\u003c/em> World War Two veteran recalling his time as a bomber pilot. “A lot of the time Ben is in memory land, in his emotions and regrets.” Varon told me this week when I asked why he decided to work with Jeanrenaud, “And the cello is the great expresser of the inner life of human beings. ” And Jeanrenaud added, “I think the cello is a natural indicator of someone’s inner life. The nature of the instrument, it’s range, much like a human voice.” Details\u003ca href=\"http://Varon%20told%20me%20this%20week%20when%20I%20asked%20why%20he%20decided%20to%20work%20with%20Jeanrenaud,\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> here.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/ufDLvge-T_U'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/ufDLvge-T_U'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> Soprano \u003ca href=\"http://www.reneefleming.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rene Fleming\u003c/a> has one of the most luscious voices in classical music. But what grabbed our attention this week was her choice of repertoire; she’s singing music by Rachmaninoff and Schumann, but also songs by Chicago jazz pianist and composer \u003ca href=\"http://www.patriciabarber.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Patricia Barber\u003c/a>. Fleming and Barber hit it off after meeting in Chicago (apparently they bonded over a discussion of mucous, a common problem for singers). Fleming and her accompaniist Olga Kern play \u003ca href=\"http://calperformances.org/performances/2015-16/recital/renee-fleming.php\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Cal Performances Saturday at Zellerbach Hall.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377500\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377500\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest.png\" alt=\"Moogfest\" width=\"640\" height=\"247\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest.png 640w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Moogfest-400x154.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Moogfest\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> My dad used to make\u003ca href=\"https://shop.heathkit.com/shop\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> radio sets\u003c/a>. And I had friends who made kit computers. But this is new: a DIY \u003ca href=\"http://www.moogmusic.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Moog Synthesizer\u003c/a>, the analog daddy of all electronic music. This is one of a series of Moog demos and DIY sessions around the country, and will feature master synthesist Suzanne Ciani doing an evening performance. The workshops and performances are at \u003ca href=\"http://grayarea.org/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Gray Area\u003c/a> in San Francisco. The \u003ca href=\"http://grayarea.org/event/moogfest-dial-tones/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">youth workshop (bring your kids) starts at 12:30; the adult workshop at 5:00pm\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/r2IuB9GPSE0'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/r2IuB9GPSE0'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 8:\u003c/strong> Pell’s mix of singing and chanting lyrics has been called dream rap, cloud rap, and trip hop. Pell, born Jared Pellerin, mixes Southern Rap with a NOLA sound (he grew up in New Orleans before Hurricane Katrina displaced his family). We think the music is little bit psychedelic, a little bit silly, and a lot of fun. Pell plays the \u003ca href=\"http://www.catalystclub.com/event/1031181-pell-santa-cruz/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Catalyst in Santa Cruz Monday March 7\u003c/a>, and the \u003ca href=\"http://thenewparish.com/event.cfm?id=229544\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">New Parish in Oakland\u003c/a> on Tuesday March 8.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11377512\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 850px\">\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-11377512\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/arts/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet.jpg\" alt=\"Jack Quartet\" width=\"850\" height=\"566\" srcset=\"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet.jpg 850w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-400x266.jpg 400w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-800x533.jpg 800w, https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/03/Jack-Quartet-768x511.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Jack Quartet \u003ccite>(Photo Credit: Justin Bernhaut)\u003c/cite>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>March 5:\u003c/strong> Pivot is a new music series from San Francisco Performances with an edgy profile, and a mission to recruit younger audiences. The series opens with the \u003ca href=\"http://www.jackquartet.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jack Quartet \u003c/a>playing \u003cem>The \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV7h04abies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Quartet Number 3\u003c/a>\u003c/em>\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV7h04abies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> by George Friedrich Haas\u003c/a> totally in the dark, as the composer directed.\u003ca href=\"http://www.performances.org/performances/1516/Pivot.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> \u003c/a>The show is almost sure to weed out SFP’s older subscribers, \u003ca href=\"http://www.performances.org/performances/1516/Pivot.shtml\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">it starts at 11pm at the Strand Theater in San Francisco.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>On March 3, 1991, a spunky blonde girl with an affinity for loud clothing choices and a deep commitment to sibling rivalry boogied her way onto cable subscribers' TV screens and into America's hearts. Clarissa, the titular character on Nickelodeon's \u003cem>Clarissa Explains It All, \u003c/em>made her debut appearance 25 years ago today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC0Aoa_Si3Y\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While it's easy to dismiss the current wave of nostalgia for '90s kids' programming and the resulting\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/02/fuller-house-every-single-wtf-moment-from-season-1/\" target=\"_blank\"> flood of questionable reboots\u003c/a> as nothing more than a transparent money-grab -- I liked \u003cem>Legends of the Hidden Temple, \u003c/em>but it didn't deserve a \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/nickelodeon-legends-of-the-hidden-temple-hey-arnold-2016-tv-upfront-1201719422/\" target=\"_blank\">TV movie treatment \u003c/a>in 1998 and it certainly doesn't deserve one now -- the fact remains that not all '90s TV shows were created equal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As for Clarissa? Clarissa was one of the best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a post-Hannah Montana landscape, it's hard to imagine that network executives were once reluctant to put an adolescent girl front and center on her own TV show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.instagram.com/p/BCegHLXlHtM/?taken-by=melissajoanhart&hl=en\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But \"People were skeptical about whether boys would watch a girl,\" showrunner Mitchell Kriegman \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/how-the-clarissa-explains-it-all-creator-helped-change-kids#.lndnM9ZlY\" target=\"_blank\">told BuzzFeed in 2014\u003c/a>. \"That was the biggest stake in the ground, and that’s what I had gone for in pitching it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kriegman got his way, kicked down that door, and promptly proved the skeptics wrong. Melissa Joan Hart wasn't just a girl, of course. She was that rare child star -- eager and endearing without coming off cloying, poised but not overpolished -- in whom young teens truly saw themselves. It probably helped that she was actually 15 when the show started. Mind you, this was back in the halcyon days of children's entertainment, before it became normal for child stars to launch international perfume empires by the age of 12; before the Disney pipsqueak-to-sexpot pipeline we know all too well had become commonplace. Clarissa was a girl, yes, but she was also the everykid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-20985\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4-400x302.png\" alt=\"bedroom-4\" width=\"479\" height=\"362\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4-400x302.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4.png 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 479px) 100vw, 479px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, though, Kriegman succeeded not because of his star. The show rang true because he and his writing team remembered what it felt like to be 14 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clarissa's bedroom was her kingdom, with hubcaps on the walls, They Might Be Giants posters, and even a pet alligator named Elvis in the corner (though he did not, sadly, make it past Season 1). Her out-there and yet totally-with-it fashion sense (hello, Keith Haring t-shirt!) captured that age when expressing one's nascent individuality feels like all that matters; caring about clothes was a playful art form, not a sign of vapidity. Google \"Clarissa fashion\" for a taste of the approximately 4000 style blogs that still craft posts \u003cem>intended for adults \u003c/em>about how to dress like her, two and a half decades later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-21038\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1-400x302.jpg\" alt=\"Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527\" width=\"400\" height=\"302\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1-400x302.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a similar vein, Clarissa's feuds with her snot-nosed brother, Ferguson, might have been over funny or petty-seeming issues -- per Wikipedia, a typical plot summary was \"Ferguson convinces himself he's a genius after an IQ test. Clarissa tries to prove him wrong by joining him on the game show Brain Drain\" -- but the stakes always seemed to be life-or-death, which is, of course, how life feels when you're a teen. There were no easy \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>-style hugs at an episode's conclusion. They were enemies, and the struggle was real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"http://mentalfloss.com/article/60340/27-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-clarissa-explains-it-all\" target=\"_blank\">an interview with Mental Floss\u003c/a>, Kriegman revealed that the universe in which the show existed was the result of meticulous planning: He even crafted a show \"bible\" for the writers to reference as necessary, featuring characterizations of Clarissa like \"[She's] the Ferris Bueller of girldom, but also kind of Calvin of \u003cem>Calvin and Hobbes.\" \u003c/em>What \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> had in common with both those worlds was a tacit understanding that the kids -- while they often had little control over their lives -- were always running the show. Recall, too, that tween and teen culture wasn't quite the dominant market force back then that it is today. A show that plainly recognized teens' intelligence was a rare and precious thing indeed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then, of course, there was Sam. Clarissa's relationship with her best friend (who had his own entrance music and appeared casually via ladder into her bedroom window years before \u003cem>Dawson's Creek\u003c/em> would rip off that particular trope) was aspirational in part because of its total innocence; it remained platonic for the duration of five seasons, nary a forced WB-style love triangle in sight. Here they are plotting their visit to a Pearl Jam show (!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odQpuuJb4OE\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clarissa's parents, meanwhile, often the subjects of the \"B\" storyline, were sometimes helpful -- but mostly clueless in a way any kid immediately recognized as authentic. (And, yes, if you happen to have grown up in Berkeley or somewhere similar, it was doubly fun to commiserate with both kids' distaste for their mother's cartoonishly gross health food obsessions. Tofu milkshakes, anyone?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The sitcom also featured a few stylistic hallmarks that would later become commonplace: Clarissa's persistent breaking of the fourth wall, for example, is the clear lo-fi ancestor to the central conceit of \u003ca href=\"http://www.icarly.com/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>iCarly\u003c/em>, the late-aughts Nickelodeon show\u003c/a> about a teenage girl who has her own web series, thus her speaking directly to the camera.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clarissa didn't need the pretense of a TV show. Clarissa was the TV show. The whole point was to turn everyday life into an adventure -- which of course made the \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Clarissa-Explains-It-All-Game/dp/B003I7FY0I\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> board game\u003c/a> a natural merchandising effort. It was, in a sense, a straighter \u003cem>Pee-Wee's Playhouse...\u003c/em>with way less sexual subtext, and way more guest appearances by James Van Der Beek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-20990\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek-400x299.png\" alt=\"james_van_der_beek\" width=\"400\" height=\"299\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek-400x299.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek.png 620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some 25 years after the show's debut, much of what made \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> a hit might seem like a given in teen TV. But perhaps the best thing about the show was actually an absence: In an era when preachy Very Special Episodes were almost mandatory for television aimed at adolescents, \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> was never moralizing. The show dealt with typical teenage topics like crushes, bullying and, you know, not getting good seats at the Pearl Jam show. But if there had to be an overarching message to the series, it was that staying true to yourself -- to your weirdo, Doc Martens-loving, alligator-having self -- was always, and would always continue to be, the most important choice you could make.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It may have worn its geekiness more plainly on its sleeve, but \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> was running with a baton that Daria and even \u003cem>My So-Called Life\u003c/em>'s Angela Chase would pick up some six years later. It showed a generation of kids that being different was way cool. And for some of us, at that age, that was all we really needed to hear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A-_tW7zE50\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>On March 3, 1991, a spunky blonde girl with an affinity for loud clothing choices and a deep commitment to sibling rivalry boogied her way onto cable subscribers' TV screens and into America's hearts. Clarissa, the titular character on Nickelodeon's \u003cem>Clarissa Explains It All, \u003c/em>made her debut appearance 25 years ago today.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/TC0Aoa_Si3Y'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/TC0Aoa_Si3Y'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>While it's easy to dismiss the current wave of nostalgia for '90s kids' programming and the resulting\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/03/02/fuller-house-every-single-wtf-moment-from-season-1/\" target=\"_blank\"> flood of questionable reboots\u003c/a> as nothing more than a transparent money-grab -- I liked \u003cem>Legends of the Hidden Temple, \u003c/em>but it didn't deserve a \u003ca href=\"http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/nickelodeon-legends-of-the-hidden-temple-hey-arnold-2016-tv-upfront-1201719422/\" target=\"_blank\">TV movie treatment \u003c/a>in 1998 and it certainly doesn't deserve one now -- the fact remains that not all '90s TV shows were created equal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As for Clarissa? Clarissa was one of the best.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a post-Hannah Montana landscape, it's hard to imagine that network executives were once reluctant to put an adolescent girl front and center on her own TV show.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>But \"People were skeptical about whether boys would watch a girl,\" showrunner Mitchell Kriegman \u003ca href=\"http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/how-the-clarissa-explains-it-all-creator-helped-change-kids#.lndnM9ZlY\" target=\"_blank\">told BuzzFeed in 2014\u003c/a>. \"That was the biggest stake in the ground, and that’s what I had gone for in pitching it.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Kriegman got his way, kicked down that door, and promptly proved the skeptics wrong. Melissa Joan Hart wasn't just a girl, of course. She was that rare child star -- eager and endearing without coming off cloying, poised but not overpolished -- in whom young teens truly saw themselves. It probably helped that she was actually 15 when the show started. Mind you, this was back in the halcyon days of children's entertainment, before it became normal for child stars to launch international perfume empires by the age of 12; before the Disney pipsqueak-to-sexpot pipeline we know all too well had become commonplace. Clarissa was a girl, yes, but she was also the everykid.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright wp-image-20985\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4-400x302.png\" alt=\"bedroom-4\" width=\"479\" height=\"362\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4-400x302.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/bedroom-4.png 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 479px) 100vw, 479px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the end, though, Kriegman succeeded not because of his star. The show rang true because he and his writing team remembered what it felt like to be 14 years old.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clarissa's bedroom was her kingdom, with hubcaps on the walls, They Might Be Giants posters, and even a pet alligator named Elvis in the corner (though he did not, sadly, make it past Season 1). Her out-there and yet totally-with-it fashion sense (hello, Keith Haring t-shirt!) captured that age when expressing one's nascent individuality feels like all that matters; caring about clothes was a playful art form, not a sign of vapidity. Google \"Clarissa fashion\" for a taste of the approximately 4000 style blogs that still craft posts \u003cem>intended for adults \u003c/em>about how to dress like her, two and a half decades later.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-21038\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1-400x302.jpg\" alt=\"Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527\" width=\"400\" height=\"302\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1-400x302.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/Kieth-Haring-Shirt-_clarissa-explains-all-large-msg-131159332527-1.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a similar vein, Clarissa's feuds with her snot-nosed brother, Ferguson, might have been over funny or petty-seeming issues -- per Wikipedia, a typical plot summary was \"Ferguson convinces himself he's a genius after an IQ test. Clarissa tries to prove him wrong by joining him on the game show Brain Drain\" -- but the stakes always seemed to be life-or-death, which is, of course, how life feels when you're a teen. There were no easy \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em>-style hugs at an episode's conclusion. They were enemies, and the struggle was real.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"http://mentalfloss.com/article/60340/27-things-you-probably-didnt-know-about-clarissa-explains-it-all\" target=\"_blank\">an interview with Mental Floss\u003c/a>, Kriegman revealed that the universe in which the show existed was the result of meticulous planning: He even crafted a show \"bible\" for the writers to reference as necessary, featuring characterizations of Clarissa like \"[She's] the Ferris Bueller of girldom, but also kind of Calvin of \u003cem>Calvin and Hobbes.\" \u003c/em>What \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> had in common with both those worlds was a tacit understanding that the kids -- while they often had little control over their lives -- were always running the show. Recall, too, that tween and teen culture wasn't quite the dominant market force back then that it is today. A show that plainly recognized teens' intelligence was a rare and precious thing indeed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then, of course, there was Sam. Clarissa's relationship with her best friend (who had his own entrance music and appeared casually via ladder into her bedroom window years before \u003cem>Dawson's Creek\u003c/em> would rip off that particular trope) was aspirational in part because of its total innocence; it remained platonic for the duration of five seasons, nary a forced WB-style love triangle in sight. Here they are plotting their visit to a Pearl Jam show (!).\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/odQpuuJb4OE'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/odQpuuJb4OE'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Clarissa's parents, meanwhile, often the subjects of the \"B\" storyline, were sometimes helpful -- but mostly clueless in a way any kid immediately recognized as authentic. (And, yes, if you happen to have grown up in Berkeley or somewhere similar, it was doubly fun to commiserate with both kids' distaste for their mother's cartoonishly gross health food obsessions. Tofu milkshakes, anyone?)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The sitcom also featured a few stylistic hallmarks that would later become commonplace: Clarissa's persistent breaking of the fourth wall, for example, is the clear lo-fi ancestor to the central conceit of \u003ca href=\"http://www.icarly.com/\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>iCarly\u003c/em>, the late-aughts Nickelodeon show\u003c/a> about a teenage girl who has her own web series, thus her speaking directly to the camera.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Clarissa didn't need the pretense of a TV show. Clarissa was the TV show. The whole point was to turn everyday life into an adventure -- which of course made the \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/Clarissa-Explains-It-All-Game/dp/B003I7FY0I\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> board game\u003c/a> a natural merchandising effort. It was, in a sense, a straighter \u003cem>Pee-Wee's Playhouse...\u003c/em>with way less sexual subtext, and way more guest appearances by James Van Der Beek.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-20990\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek-400x299.png\" alt=\"james_van_der_beek\" width=\"400\" height=\"299\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek-400x299.png 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/03/james_van_der_beek.png 620w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some 25 years after the show's debut, much of what made \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> a hit might seem like a given in teen TV. But perhaps the best thing about the show was actually an absence: In an era when preachy Very Special Episodes were almost mandatory for television aimed at adolescents, \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> was never moralizing. The show dealt with typical teenage topics like crushes, bullying and, you know, not getting good seats at the Pearl Jam show. But if there had to be an overarching message to the series, it was that staying true to yourself -- to your weirdo, Doc Martens-loving, alligator-having self -- was always, and would always continue to be, the most important choice you could make.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It may have worn its geekiness more plainly on its sleeve, but \u003cem>Clarissa\u003c/em> was running with a baton that Daria and even \u003cem>My So-Called Life\u003c/em>'s Angela Chase would pick up some six years later. It showed a generation of kids that being different was way cool. And for some of us, at that age, that was all we really needed to hear.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/2A-_tW7zE50'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/2A-_tW7zE50'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
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"possible": {
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"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
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"pri-the-world": {
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"radiolab": {
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"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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"reveal": {
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"info": "Created by The Center for Investigative Reporting and PRX, Reveal is public radios first one-hour weekly radio show and podcast dedicated to investigative reporting. Credible, fact based and without a partisan agenda, Reveal combines the power and artistry of driveway moment storytelling with data-rich reporting on critically important issues. The result is stories that inform and inspire, arming our listeners with information to right injustices, hold the powerful accountable and improve lives.Reveal is hosted by Al Letson and showcases the award-winning work of CIR and newsrooms large and small across the nation. In a radio and podcast market crowded with choices, Reveal focuses on important and often surprising stories that illuminate the world for our listeners.",
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},
"rightnowish": {
"id": "rightnowish",
"title": "Rightnowish",
"tagline": "Art is where you find it",
"info": "Rightnowish digs into life in the Bay Area right now… ish. Journalist Pendarvis Harshaw takes us to galleries painted on the sides of liquor stores in West Oakland. We'll dance in warehouses in the Bayview, make smoothies with kids in South Berkeley, and listen to classical music in a 1984 Cutlass Supreme in Richmond. Every week, Pen talks to movers and shakers about how the Bay Area shapes what they create, and how they shape the place we call home.",
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"order": 16
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},
"science-friday": {
"id": "science-friday",
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"info": "Science Friday is a weekly science talk show, broadcast live over public radio stations nationwide. Each week, the show focuses on science topics that are in the news and tries to bring an educated, balanced discussion to bear on the scientific issues at hand. Panels of expert guests join host Ira Flatow, a veteran science journalist, to discuss science and to take questions from listeners during the call-in portion of the program.",
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"snap-judgment": {
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