Don't Have a TV? Here's Where You Can Watch the Oscars in the Bay Area

Photo: Wiki Commons

After a long awards season, the Oscars are upon us at last (Sunday, February 26, 2017 at 5:30pm). Even if you're not into this year's batch of movies, let's be real: you will be watching. So the question is where. Whether you're a TV orphan or simply like company, you're in luck -- 'cause the Bay Area is serving up a bunch of Oscar parties where you can be starstruck for 20 minutes and then complain about how boring everything is for the next three hours and 40 minutes.

If you like dressing up and being surrounded by books:

Head over to Novella, which is worth visiting just for the gorgeous display of books. The bar in SoMA is encouraging people to dress up as their favorite character from this year's nominated movies. A few suggestions from me to you: the dry-erase board from Arrival, one of the fences from Hidden Fences, or a canvas bag with a dollar sign on it to represent the money used to make Hollywood forget that Mel Gibson is a terrible person. Just make sure to thank me for the idea when you win "Best Costume."

If you hate commercials and Hollywood in general:

Head over to the Roxie in the Mission for Up the Oscars Benefit Bash, which is replacing the commercials you would normally ignore in favor of "curiously captivating shorts, twisted music videos, intriguingly perplexing film clips, & generally hilarious cinematic detritus." You're going to really appreciate those artistic respites when you're entering the third hour of the telecast and the CEO of the Academy comes out to give a corporate speech.

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If you love marshmallows and mimosas:

Head over to Spark Social SF in Mission Bay for Funcheap’s 2017 Oscars Party, where you can stuff your face with food truck nibbles, roast marshmallows over a fire pit, and enjoy all-you-can-drink champagne for $20. That's all pretty sweet, but free popcorn is sweeter. Make sure to RSVP.

If you like supporting small theaters:

Head over to the Balboa near Ocean Beach. People love complaining about small theaters going out of business more than they like going to them. Break the cycle!

If you're a really rich humanitarian:

Head over to the Midway in the Dogpatch for the Academy of Friends’ annual Academy Awards Night Gala. Tickets are a steep $300–750, but you can feel good about the money going towards Bay Area HIV/AIDS services.

If you live in the East or North Bay and want to stay in the hood:

Head over to the New Parkway in Oakland (with all-you-can-eat finger food); the Rialto in Berkeley, El Cerrito, and Sebastopol; and the Rafael Film Center in San Rafael. Bad news for South Bay folks: I can't find a single Oscars party for y'all to attend, so buckle your seat belts and come party with us up here!

If you like Old Hollywood and open bars:

Head over to Finn Town in the Castro for their “You’re Dead to Me Oscars” party that benefits Bay Area musicals. The restaurant is encouraging guests to wear looks inspired by their favorite late actress or actor. All I have to say is that the place better be packed with General Leias. Speaking of Gary's mom, speciality cocktails inspired by Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds will be served.

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Know of a good Oscar party? Leave it in the comments!

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