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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Almost everything we know about friendship in schools was learned from research conducted in classrooms and intended for use during in-person education. Now that many children in the United States are learning at a distance, teachers and parents need new strategies to make the most of peer relationships. \u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">Phyllis Fagell\u003c/a>, a school counselor in Washington, D.C. and author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/43232419-middle-school-matters\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Matters\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, spoke with MindShift about how best to support existing friendships, promote the formation of new ones, encourage healthy friendship, and put friendships to work as an academic resource. The exchange has been lightly edited for clarity.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Let's say we have two students who were buddies last year. How can schools support that relationship from a distance?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One of the challenges of growing up even before coronavirus is that friendships cycle in and out. They're at once critically important to kids and also fragile, because kids are learning skills such as empathy and flexibility, and many don't yet have a strong sense of self. They're trying on new identities and moving between peer groups. Now add on remote learning and the heightened sensitivity that comes from not being able to smooth out misunderstandings in person, plus the awkwardness of interacting through a screen when you may not be that adept at carrying on an insightful conversation in person, and then the layers of stress they're feeling about what's happening in their lives and the world. That cumulative anxiety can lead to more impulsivity and greater potential for conflict. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I think explaining all of this to kids is helpful, both in terms of normalizing that everyone is a bit insecure and out of sorts, and in terms of communicating why they need to assume positive intent, and pause before posting or doing anything out of anger.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can be thoughtful about how they pair kids for group projects and make kids aware of their resources, too. A counselor could help them talk through a dispute if they need mediation support, or offer emotional support to a student who is feeling left behind by a friend, all over Zoom. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This fall marks the first time most kids met unknown classmates virtually. For some this is a transition year from elementary to middle school. How can educators promote new friendships? Do you anticipate digital interactions making it harder or easier to form friendships across traditional chasms like gender, race, and class?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can thoughtfully pair families who already are a part of the community with new families, incorporating buddy programs, and host \"mix it up\" virtual lunches to expand kids' peer groups. I actually think this can happen more organically during remote learning than face-to-face instruction. It's more daunting to sit with strangers at a table in a crowded school cafeteria than to attend a virtual lunch with a visiting speaker or to participate in a mixed-grade book club online. Once you have kids with different backstories in a Zoom room, you can do some icebreakers and get-to-know-you activities. Schools also can ask kind kids with social capital to take a leadership role, brainstorming ideas for ways to reach out to kids who may be feeling isolated.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To promote cross-group friendships, schools can offer affinity groups, interest-based clubs, speakers, facilitated lunches, read-alouds, game or movie nights, and other structured, inclusive activities that give kids a reason to meet up online.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We know friendships are more likely to grow to be healthy and strong with in-person contact rather than just social media interaction. How can we help students maintain healthy boundaries and patterns of interaction at a distance? \u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Not all social media is bad. If kids are using social media to FaceTime a friend or work on a social justice issue or connect with a grandparent, that's a lot different than just passively scrolling through other kids' feeds while feeling bad about yourself. I'd also be concerned about a child spending a tremendous amount of time \u003ca href=\"https://www.vox.com/the-goods/21547961/doomscrolling-meaning-definition-what-is-meme\">doomscrolling\u003c/a> through grim news feeds. Returning to the idea that kids are hypersensitive right now, experiencing intense emotions, and perhaps acting more impulsively because they're more anxious or want attention, we want to focus on preventing them from blowing up their friendships. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can remind kids to sit on their hands long enough to consider whether what they're about to post or say could come back to haunt them or could hurt someone else. They can urge kids to set themselves up for success by removing technology from their bedrooms or refraining from interacting when they're tired. They can have class contracts with agreed upon norms for behavior. They can be told that the school will hold them accountable for out-of-school actions that end up bleeding into the digital classroom. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The goal is to create a culture where kids want to look out for the more vulnerable among them, whether that's a new student or a child who may have some social skills deficits. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some strategies have been proven effective for harnessing the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">motivating power\u003c/a> of friendship for learning. Can these efforts translate to distance learning? How?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is where teachers can be aware of and sensitive to children with different strengths and challenges. When kids complain about themselves or someone else, I like to ask them to come up with two strengths for every so-called weakness. A kid with attention issues might bring dynamism and energy to the classroom. A kid who is distractible might have sudden bursts of insight. If you can see that a student is being ostracized or getting in their own way—maybe making funny faces or getting annoyingly off-topic on Zoom—talk to them individually about how you can support them. Try to point out their strengths authentically in front of peers, too. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Work with their parents as well. Now more than ever, this is going to have to be a home-school partnership. If you use Zoom breakout rooms, pop in frequently to ensure no one is hurling insults or dominating a project. On a broader level, make sure the books you read, the videos you show, the examples you use, and speakers you bring in reflect the diversity in your classroom in a positive way.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This article is part of the “\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/friendships\">Friendship in Schools\u003c/a>” series, which explores the complexities of friendship at various stages of learning.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Almost everything we know about friendship in schools was learned from research conducted in classrooms and intended for use during in-person education. Now that many children in the United States are learning at a distance, teachers and parents need new strategies to make the most of peer relationships. \u003ca href=\"https://phyllisfagell.com/\">Phyllis Fagell\u003c/a>, a school counselor in Washington, D.C. and author of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/43232419-middle-school-matters\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Middle School Matters\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, spoke with MindShift about how best to support existing friendships, promote the formation of new ones, encourage healthy friendship, and put friendships to work as an academic resource. The exchange has been lightly edited for clarity.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Let's say we have two students who were buddies last year. How can schools support that relationship from a distance?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One of the challenges of growing up even before coronavirus is that friendships cycle in and out. They're at once critically important to kids and also fragile, because kids are learning skills such as empathy and flexibility, and many don't yet have a strong sense of self. They're trying on new identities and moving between peer groups. Now add on remote learning and the heightened sensitivity that comes from not being able to smooth out misunderstandings in person, plus the awkwardness of interacting through a screen when you may not be that adept at carrying on an insightful conversation in person, and then the layers of stress they're feeling about what's happening in their lives and the world. That cumulative anxiety can lead to more impulsivity and greater potential for conflict. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I think explaining all of this to kids is helpful, both in terms of normalizing that everyone is a bit insecure and out of sorts, and in terms of communicating why they need to assume positive intent, and pause before posting or doing anything out of anger.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can be thoughtful about how they pair kids for group projects and make kids aware of their resources, too. A counselor could help them talk through a dispute if they need mediation support, or offer emotional support to a student who is feeling left behind by a friend, all over Zoom. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This fall marks the first time most kids met unknown classmates virtually. For some this is a transition year from elementary to middle school. How can educators promote new friendships? Do you anticipate digital interactions making it harder or easier to form friendships across traditional chasms like gender, race, and class?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can thoughtfully pair families who already are a part of the community with new families, incorporating buddy programs, and host \"mix it up\" virtual lunches to expand kids' peer groups. I actually think this can happen more organically during remote learning than face-to-face instruction. It's more daunting to sit with strangers at a table in a crowded school cafeteria than to attend a virtual lunch with a visiting speaker or to participate in a mixed-grade book club online. Once you have kids with different backstories in a Zoom room, you can do some icebreakers and get-to-know-you activities. Schools also can ask kind kids with social capital to take a leadership role, brainstorming ideas for ways to reach out to kids who may be feeling isolated.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To promote cross-group friendships, schools can offer affinity groups, interest-based clubs, speakers, facilitated lunches, read-alouds, game or movie nights, and other structured, inclusive activities that give kids a reason to meet up online.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">We know friendships are more likely to grow to be healthy and strong with in-person contact rather than just social media interaction. How can we help students maintain healthy boundaries and patterns of interaction at a distance? \u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Not all social media is bad. If kids are using social media to FaceTime a friend or work on a social justice issue or connect with a grandparent, that's a lot different than just passively scrolling through other kids' feeds while feeling bad about yourself. I'd also be concerned about a child spending a tremendous amount of time \u003ca href=\"https://www.vox.com/the-goods/21547961/doomscrolling-meaning-definition-what-is-meme\">doomscrolling\u003c/a> through grim news feeds. Returning to the idea that kids are hypersensitive right now, experiencing intense emotions, and perhaps acting more impulsively because they're more anxious or want attention, we want to focus on preventing them from blowing up their friendships. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Schools can remind kids to sit on their hands long enough to consider whether what they're about to post or say could come back to haunt them or could hurt someone else. They can urge kids to set themselves up for success by removing technology from their bedrooms or refraining from interacting when they're tired. They can have class contracts with agreed upon norms for behavior. They can be told that the school will hold them accountable for out-of-school actions that end up bleeding into the digital classroom. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The goal is to create a culture where kids want to look out for the more vulnerable among them, whether that's a new student or a child who may have some social skills deficits. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some strategies have been proven effective for harnessing the \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/56979/what-the-research-says-about-the-academic-power-of-friendship\">motivating power\u003c/a> of friendship for learning. Can these efforts translate to distance learning? How?\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is where teachers can be aware of and sensitive to children with different strengths and challenges. When kids complain about themselves or someone else, I like to ask them to come up with two strengths for every so-called weakness. A kid with attention issues might bring dynamism and energy to the classroom. A kid who is distractible might have sudden bursts of insight. If you can see that a student is being ostracized or getting in their own way—maybe making funny faces or getting annoyingly off-topic on Zoom—talk to them individually about how you can support them. Try to point out their strengths authentically in front of peers, too. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Work with their parents as well. Now more than ever, this is going to have to be a home-school partnership. If you use Zoom breakout rooms, pop in frequently to ensure no one is hurling insults or dominating a project. On a broader level, make sure the books you read, the videos you show, the examples you use, and speakers you bring in reflect the diversity in your classroom in a positive way.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"title": "What the Research Says About the Academic Power of Friendship",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For years, education research focused on time-on-task as a measure of effective instruction, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://curry.virginia.edu/scott-gest\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scott Gest\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor at the University of Virginia. Through that lens, friends in elementary school \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03004279685200091?journalCode=rett20&\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">appeared to be a negative,\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> an impediment to focus and a catalyst for disruption. Even when the value of strong social ties gained recognition, friendships stood to the side conceptually, as developmentally important but not germane to academics. Yet recent research has confirmed two things many teachers have long believed to be true. First, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28685826/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social-emotional\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.educationdive.com/news/how-peer-reviews-can-build-critical-thinking-sel-skills/574196/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">benefits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.casel.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/PDF-3-Durlak-Weissberg-Dymnicki-Taylor-_-Schellinger-2011-Meta-analysis.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">academic ones\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/302991262_Social_and_emotional_learning_Past_present_and_future\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">don’t operate in isolation\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Second, friendships in elementary school can be harnessed to drive academic growth.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Students with no friends “receive lower grades and are \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-95233-001\">less academically engaged\u003c/a> compared to those with even just one friend,” \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2019.1655645?journalCode=hedp20\">reported\u003c/a> \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.psych.ucla.edu/faculty/page/jjuvonen\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jaana Juvonen\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a psychology professor at UCLA, and her colleagues \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in a 2019 issue of the journal \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Educational Psychologist.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is a point that bears repeating, says Florida Atlantic University’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.psy.fau.edu/people/laursen.php\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brett Laursen\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, editor in chief of the \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">International Journal of Behavioral Development\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: “There is a massive gap between being friended and friendless,” he says, and “studies that are as close to causation as you can get” show that becoming friendless produces a meaningful decline in mental health. Research has also tied friendlessness and exclusion to truancy, susceptibility to peer pressure, inability to focus, deficits in working memory, and lack of classroom participation.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On the flip side, friends can make mundane tasks more fun, reports Lydia Denworth in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://lydiadenworth.com/books/friendship/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Friendship\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Her 2020 book catalogues research on the many benefits of “life’s fundamental bond.” For example, when they smell familiar fish, zebrafish show reduced levels of fear, a fact that seems cool but irrelevant until you learn that a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21895364/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">2011 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of humans showed that “having a best friend present during an experience significantly buffered any negative feelings, lowering cortisol and boosting a sense of self-worth.” \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://mitch.web.unc.edu/files/2013/10/Calhoun-et-al-DP-2014.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that talking to supportive friends after a stressful incident increases the speed with which cortisol levels revert to normal. This buffering effect appears to insulate kids from both social and academic missteps by shifting their inner narrative in the face of failure from “there’s something wrong with me” to a more resilient response. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jora.12219\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, adolescents working together took part in more exploratory behavior, learned faster, and completed tasks better than they did working alone. In \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">another\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Laursen and his colleagues arranged for pairs of students to be taught a new programming language. Kids were asked how they felt about their partner multiple times. “How much I thought that you were my friend,” he says, “predicted how much I learned in that classroom.” Taken together, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the evidence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggests that with a friend on hand, a child’s tolerance for novelty and intellectual stretching tends to increase, while without one, engagement tends to decrease.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do educators both promote this type of bond and exploit its academic power? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gest, who is chair of human services at the Curry School of Education and Human Development, says, “There is a long tradition of informal guidance on how to think about group dynamics in the classroom, but relatively little empirical research to back up particular strategies.” That said, some things are known. There are four big impediments to friendship formation in school: lack of contact, competition, unequal status, and surface-level homophily (a.k.a., “birds of a feather flock together”). Each of these factors can prevent relationships from blossoming, particularly across gender, racial, and other divides. For each of the four roadblocks, teachers wield at least one not-so-secret weapon.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But before getting to solutions, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://peabody.vanderbilt.edu/bio/barbara-stengel\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Barbara Stengel\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor emerita at Vanderbilt University, who focuses on the philosophy of education, it’s important to think about what friendship really means in a classroom. Aristotle divided the concept into \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://qz.com/1155649/aristotle-said-there-are-three-types-of-friendship-but-only-one-we-should-strive-for/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">three categories\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: friendships of utility based on mutual benefit, friendships of pleasure that usually center around a shared interest, and friendships of virtue, the kind with deeper, longer lasting mutual appreciation. When we think of a friend, most of us picture that last sort, the one we can confide in and count on, but the other two types can also make children feel “seen and encouraged,” Stengel says, producing many of the desired academic benefits.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraging contact\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lack of contact obviously inhibits friendship formation. On the flip side, physical proximity \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11218-016-9353-y\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can reduce\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> negative perceptions of a peer. Teachers and administrators often don’t have control over \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-00748-025\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the biggest piece of this puzzle\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—the makeup of their student body—but they can manipulate contact between the kids they do have. For starters,\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Juvonen says, teachers and administrators should consider keeping friends together when assigning classes. Schoolwide \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50960/how-being-part-of-a-house-within-a-school-helps-students-gain-a-sense-of-belonging\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“house” programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that produce stable cohorts have also shown potential.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Within classes, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1467-9604.2008.00375.x\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seating arrangements\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> most directly impact proximity. When children who did not like each other were seated close together for several weeks in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10802-011-9567-6\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, their likeability ratings increased. Perhaps they formed Aristotle’s friendships of pleasure, because they were made aware of common interests (comic books!) or maybe the students formed friendships of utility, since whisperings and wisecracks require a set of ears.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Students who dislike one another \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">should not\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, however, be paired for peer-assisted learning. Most commonly in pairs, peer-assisted learning has been shown to improve the standing of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1540-5826.00046\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">students with learning disabilities\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and help \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/019874290503000404?journalCode=bhda\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">shy children\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> befriend peers. In choosing dyads, professors \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://frg.vkcsites.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lynn and Douglas Fuchs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggest different strategies for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247498599_Research_on_Peer-Assisted_Learning_Strategies_The_Promise_and_Limitations_of_Peer-Mediated_Instruction\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">reading\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235910655_Enhancing_first-grade_children's_mathematical_development_with_Peer-Assisted_Learning_Strategies\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">math\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, both of which involve splitting the class into a top half and a bottom half by current skill level and then choosing one student from each block. But Juvonen says teachers would do well to make these matches with pre-existing friendships and common interests in mind as well, and at least \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> backs her up (there, how much partners liked each other predicted how well they learned). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Peer-assisted learning does not, unfortunately, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/019874290503000404?journalCode=bhda\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seem to be\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “sufficient to improve the social integration of children who have behavior issues or whose negative reputation is deeply entrenched,” says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://professeurs.uqam.ca/professeur/dion.e/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Éric Dion\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor at the University of Quebec at Montreal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Fostering\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> cooperati\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ve\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> learning\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another type of grouping shows promise for that though. By doing away with competition, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ888657\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cooperative learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> boosts learning and decreases problematic behaviors, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://croseth.educ.msu.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cary Roseth\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, chair of the Department of Counseling, Educational Psychology and Special Education at Michigan State University. It requires establishing \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://kappanonline.org/van-ryzin-roseth-power-peer-influence-address-student-behavioral-problems/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">positive interdependence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, meaning “individuals can attain their goals if (and only if) others in their group also reach their goals,” Roseth has written.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers may require a single finished product from a group (goal interdependence) or may offer a reward to the group if everyone achieves above a certain threshold (reward interdependence). Members of the group can be issued different materials that the group must share to complete the lesson (resource interdependence), or each member of the group could be assigned a different role to play (role interdependence). The group may have its own name (identity interdependence), or each group member may have to complete a different step in a task, like on an assembly line (task interdependence).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When teachers carefully create and scaffold small groups, an expectation that a group member will cooperate arises, and that produces liking. If one group member perceives another as attempting to promote their success, that also promotes liking, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">even if they ultimately fail\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A positive feedback loop results: “The more students work cooperatively to learn, the more they will tend to like each other, and the more they like each other, the harder they will work to help each other learn,” Roseth and colleagues report. In other words, positive interdependence fosters, at the very least, Aristotelian friendships of utility.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Equalizing status\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraging contact provides the opportunity for friendships to form, but budding connections can easily be nipped by social status asymmetry. Those who don’t conform with school norms on behavior, ability, sexuality, and even body size will be shunned without intervention, Juvonen says. Promoting a cooperative, rather than competitive, learning environment is one step toward redefining “smart” and “good” in children’s minds, but teachers can further decrease status gaps by drawing attention to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/2018-02-02/california-school-district-explores-strength-based-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">hidden strengths\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3522754/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">2013 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, when camp counselors encouraged peers to interact inclusively with children who exhibit ADHD symptoms and drew attention to those students’ positive characteristics, the reputations of the children with ADHD improved, and they had more reciprocated friendships. The study’s primary author, Amori Yee Mikami, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia, stresses that these findings may not translate to the classroom but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.erudit.org/en/journals/enfance/1900-v1-n1-enfance01654/1028010ar/abstract/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">other studies\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have shown that teachers voicing a favorable opinion of students and interacting with them warmly tends to increase their social integration.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To this end, teachers should think of themselves in social media parlance as “influencers” or “thought leaders.” Teachers’ relationships with kids “have a big influence on how those kids are seen,” Gest confirms: “Kids who perceive their classmates as not getting along with the teacher come to see those classmates less positively.” But “if teachers make public comments about a child’s academic or social strengths, those have an impact on how kids view that classmate” too.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There’s a problem though: Teachers’ \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397311000219?via%3Dihub\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">take\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> on who is high status and who isn’t doesn’t always align with kids’, Gest says. “There are kids whom teachers perceive to be disruptive and a problem yet who are quite popular with their classmates. And then conversely, sometimes kids teachers perceive as super nice and prosocial are not particularly influential.” A first step, then, in realizing children’s potential to elevate and inspire one another, is “developing an accurate understanding of what those relationship patterns are.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leveraging homophily\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One pattern is called homophily. Plato once wrote “similarity begets friendship,” and modern social science research has proven him right. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-08239-010\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like tends to stick with like\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in terms of attitudes and beliefs, but also ethnicity, socio-economic status, and gender even in an integrated classroom. (In \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Friendship\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Denworth reports: “Friendship with opposite-sex peers ‘drops off precipitously after seven years of age.’”) \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet friendships that bridge these divides have been associated with higher academic outcomes, and Juvonen says, “students with a greater proportion of cross-ethnic friendships reported lower vulnerability” to peer victimization. On the other hand, discriminatory experiences lead to anger, impulsivity, depression, anxiety, sleep loss, and more, all conditions that drive down academic engagement and performance. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For cross-group friendships to thrive, Juvonen says, teachers and administrators have to “disrupt typical social dynamics and avoid instructional practices that highlight differences.” Going after low-hanging fruit, Juvonen recommends we stop saying, “Good morning, boys and girls.” Using these categories implies that they have functional importance in elementary school (when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/what-science-really-says-about-boys-and-girls/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research has yet to prove they do\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">) and impedes same-gender bonds. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Administrators can also consider explicit anti-bias interventions. Juvonen \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2019.1655645?scroll=top&needAccess=true&journalCode=hedp20\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">says\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> a puppet program that “teaches about acceptance of various body shapes has been shown effective in reducing negative attitudes and stereotypes about larger body shapes.” Inclusive curricula \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.educationdive.com/news/improving-lgbtq-representation-in-curriculum-reduces-stigma-bullying/580239/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can also alter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> social dynamics.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though initiatives like these take time and institutional support, there’s one thing educators can do right away, Laursen says. While perceived similarities predict who will become friends better than actual similarities, it’s the latter that determines whether friendships will last. Teachers can help kids’ friendship calculus be more accurate by making less obvious similarities salient. Another way of looking at it? By drawing attention to traits and interests that aren’t as readily apparent as gender or skin tone (e.g., “You two and your Minecraft obsession!”), teachers foster Aristotelian friendships of virtue. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Juvonen says extracurricular activities like sports and interscholastic robotics competitions provide the ideal context both for highlighting shared interests and promoting positive interdependence, but access is often a problem. Administrators can try to decrease hurdles such as transportation and out-of-pocket expenses, as well as ensuring there’s extra support on hand to facilitate the participation of special needs students. But logistical stumbling blocks aren’t the only type. “Some kids are just reluctant to take the big step to join a club,” Laursen says, and schools would do well to create an emotionally safe environment. That can mean paired activities and inclusion-oriented clubs such as Gay-Straight Alliances.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kids can also be encouraged to find hidden similarities on their own. Julia Smith, who teaches first-grade in San Francisco, reads her students \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Day You Begin\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> by Jacqueline Woodson: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There will be times when you walk into a room and no one there is quite like you until the day you begin to share your stories. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My name is Angelina and I spent my whole summer with my little sister\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, you tell the class …. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Your name is like my sister’s\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Rigoberto says. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Her name is Angelina, too\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…. This is the day you begin to find … every new friend has something a little like you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But Elizabeth Self, an assistant professor at Vanderbilt University, says it’s important to keep in mind there simply isn’t enough research on encouraging cross-group friendships for academics like her to provide a 10-tricks book. For the most part, they are instead “going to talk about, you could do this, but you’d need to watch out for that.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Case in point: Just how much to spread kids out. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Skill sorting and ability grouping, Juvonen says, “not only reduces contact, but also highlights status differences between demographic groups.” Tracked classes, resource rooms, and second-language learner programs that separate groups of students and highlight their differences are also “likely to hinder peer acceptance and the development of friendships,” she says. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And yet, distributing a small group of atypical kids across classrooms can also be the wrong call. In one study, children with disabilities, who can struggle with social integration, were just as likely to have friends and be accepted as their developmentally typical peers when placed in classrooms where one-third of the students had a mild disability. Juvonen’s conclusion: “There is a critical minimum mass required for groups of vulnerable students to be socially integrated.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research on race relations in middle and high schools suggests exactly that. In \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/09/beverly-daniel-tatum-classroom-conversations-race/538758/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Beverly Daniel Tatum, a psychology professor and former president of Spelman College, explains that around the onset of puberty, Black students start to explore their identity just as “the world begins to reflect their Blackness back to them more clearly.” In racially mixed settings, she writes, voluntary “racial grouping is a developmental process in response to an environmental stressor, racism.” When it comes to racial \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/parenting/remote-learning-microaggressions.html\">microaggressions\u003c/a>, white peers “are unprepared to respond in supportive ways.” That makes joining with other Black students “a positive coping strategy.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A teacher with a class of 25 students that includes 5 Black students and needs to be split into 5 groups may be tempted to create diverse pods by placing one of the underrepresented students in each group, but doing so can actually set intergroup relations back. Once kids are old enough to grapple with race, numerical insignificance and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49230/how-a-stereotype-threat-intervention-can-help-students-in-stem-fields\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">stereotype threat\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—which one of Dr. Tatum’s young sources described as “that constant burden of you always having to strive to do your best and show that you can do just as much as everybody else\"—can silence and alienate Black children, reduce their status, and thwart friendship formation. When small groups involve peer critique, preventing critical mass can also leave Black students emotionally unprepared to receive feedback. As counterintuitive as it may seem, allowing Black students “the psychological safety of their own group” can actually increase the likelihood that they form friendships outside it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Elizabeth Self says similar concerns apply to “putting kids from the same linguistic background together in maths small group work.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Making game-time calls\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the end of the day, teachers will have to make judgment calls when it comes to friendship. Students who are easily distracted may benefit from more individual work, and there’s research showing that friends \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">do \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">interfere with productivity in some circumstances: for example, when they’re not engaged by the subject matter or they put one another’s feelings over giving meaningful feedback. But if a friendless child goofs off with a peer, Laursen says, a little more leeway may be in order, since research shows that kids with at least one friend are both less likely to be bullied and less harmed by bullying. It would make sense then, to seat a child with very low social status near one who is both friendly and popular. A warm relationship with someone like that could increase classwide acceptance considerably. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Elizabeth Self likes the idea of reconceptualizing friends as a resource, thinking, “How can we give them permission to draw on that person?” When a student is getting out of sorts, for example: “If they have a good bud who is not in the classroom, say: ‘Let’s go see if we can pull Margarita from Ms. Jon’s class. You all stay in the hall for five minutes. We are going to set a timer to see if spending some time together helps you to be able to come back into class.’” In the context of restorative justice circles, why not have an ally present for each child? “I think there is rich opportunity here,” she says.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But Gest wants to remind teachers, administrators, and their communities: “You can’t address everything at once, through either a seating arrangement or a group learning assignment.” Yes, friendship can present untapped academic potential, but “there’s limits to how much teachers can do.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This article is part of the “\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/friendships\">Friendship in Schools\u003c/a>” series, which explores the complexities of friendship at various stages of learning.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/gailcornwall\">Gail Cornwall\u003c/a> works as a mother and writer in San Francisco. Her youngest child is in Julia Smith’s class at Rooftop School.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For years, education research focused on time-on-task as a measure of effective instruction, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://curry.virginia.edu/scott-gest\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scott Gest\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor at the University of Virginia. Through that lens, friends in elementary school \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03004279685200091?journalCode=rett20&\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">appeared to be a negative,\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> an impediment to focus and a catalyst for disruption. Even when the value of strong social ties gained recognition, friendships stood to the side conceptually, as developmentally important but not germane to academics. Yet recent research has confirmed two things many teachers have long believed to be true. First, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28685826/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">social-emotional\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.educationdive.com/news/how-peer-reviews-can-build-critical-thinking-sel-skills/574196/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">benefits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.casel.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/PDF-3-Durlak-Weissberg-Dymnicki-Taylor-_-Schellinger-2011-Meta-analysis.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">academic ones\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/302991262_Social_and_emotional_learning_Past_present_and_future\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">don’t operate in isolation\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Second, friendships in elementary school can be harnessed to drive academic growth.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Students with no friends “receive lower grades and are \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-95233-001\">less academically engaged\u003c/a> compared to those with even just one friend,” \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2019.1655645?journalCode=hedp20\">reported\u003c/a> \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.psych.ucla.edu/faculty/page/jjuvonen\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Jaana Juvonen\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a psychology professor at UCLA, and her colleagues \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in a 2019 issue of the journal \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Educational Psychologist.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is a point that bears repeating, says Florida Atlantic University’s \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www.psy.fau.edu/people/laursen.php\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brett Laursen\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, editor in chief of the \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">International Journal of Behavioral Development\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: “There is a massive gap between being friended and friendless,” he says, and “studies that are as close to causation as you can get” show that becoming friendless produces a meaningful decline in mental health. Research has also tied friendlessness and exclusion to truancy, susceptibility to peer pressure, inability to focus, deficits in working memory, and lack of classroom participation.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">On the flip side, friends can make mundane tasks more fun, reports Lydia Denworth in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://lydiadenworth.com/books/friendship/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Friendship\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Her 2020 book catalogues research on the many benefits of “life’s fundamental bond.” For example, when they smell familiar fish, zebrafish show reduced levels of fear, a fact that seems cool but irrelevant until you learn that a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21895364/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">2011 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of humans showed that “having a best friend present during an experience significantly buffered any negative feelings, lowering cortisol and boosting a sense of self-worth.” \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://mitch.web.unc.edu/files/2013/10/Calhoun-et-al-DP-2014.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that talking to supportive friends after a stressful incident increases the speed with which cortisol levels revert to normal. This buffering effect appears to insulate kids from both social and academic missteps by shifting their inner narrative in the face of failure from “there’s something wrong with me” to a more resilient response. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jora.12219\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, adolescents working together took part in more exploratory behavior, learned faster, and completed tasks better than they did working alone. In \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">another\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Laursen and his colleagues arranged for pairs of students to be taught a new programming language. Kids were asked how they felt about their partner multiple times. “How much I thought that you were my friend,” he says, “predicted how much I learned in that classroom.” Taken together, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the evidence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggests that with a friend on hand, a child’s tolerance for novelty and intellectual stretching tends to increase, while without one, engagement tends to decrease.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do educators both promote this type of bond and exploit its academic power? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gest, who is chair of human services at the Curry School of Education and Human Development, says, “There is a long tradition of informal guidance on how to think about group dynamics in the classroom, but relatively little empirical research to back up particular strategies.” That said, some things are known. There are four big impediments to friendship formation in school: lack of contact, competition, unequal status, and surface-level homophily (a.k.a., “birds of a feather flock together”). Each of these factors can prevent relationships from blossoming, particularly across gender, racial, and other divides. For each of the four roadblocks, teachers wield at least one not-so-secret weapon.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But before getting to solutions, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://peabody.vanderbilt.edu/bio/barbara-stengel\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Barbara Stengel\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor emerita at Vanderbilt University, who focuses on the philosophy of education, it’s important to think about what friendship really means in a classroom. Aristotle divided the concept into \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://qz.com/1155649/aristotle-said-there-are-three-types-of-friendship-but-only-one-we-should-strive-for/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">three categories\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: friendships of utility based on mutual benefit, friendships of pleasure that usually center around a shared interest, and friendships of virtue, the kind with deeper, longer lasting mutual appreciation. When we think of a friend, most of us picture that last sort, the one we can confide in and count on, but the other two types can also make children feel “seen and encouraged,” Stengel says, producing many of the desired academic benefits.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraging contact\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lack of contact obviously inhibits friendship formation. On the flip side, physical proximity \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11218-016-9353-y\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can reduce\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> negative perceptions of a peer. Teachers and administrators often don’t have control over \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-00748-025\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the biggest piece of this puzzle\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—the makeup of their student body—but they can manipulate contact between the kids they do have. For starters,\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Juvonen says, teachers and administrators should consider keeping friends together when assigning classes. Schoolwide \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/50960/how-being-part-of-a-house-within-a-school-helps-students-gain-a-sense-of-belonging\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“house” programs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that produce stable cohorts have also shown potential.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Within classes, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1467-9604.2008.00375.x\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seating arrangements\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> most directly impact proximity. When children who did not like each other were seated close together for several weeks in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10802-011-9567-6\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, their likeability ratings increased. Perhaps they formed Aristotle’s friendships of pleasure, because they were made aware of common interests (comic books!) or maybe the students formed friendships of utility, since whisperings and wisecracks require a set of ears.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Students who dislike one another \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">should not\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, however, be paired for peer-assisted learning. Most commonly in pairs, peer-assisted learning has been shown to improve the standing of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1540-5826.00046\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">students with learning disabilities\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and help \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/019874290503000404?journalCode=bhda\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">shy children\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> befriend peers. In choosing dyads, professors \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://frg.vkcsites.org/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Lynn and Douglas Fuchs\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggest different strategies for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247498599_Research_on_Peer-Assisted_Learning_Strategies_The_Promise_and_Limitations_of_Peer-Mediated_Instruction\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">reading\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235910655_Enhancing_first-grade_children's_mathematical_development_with_Peer-Assisted_Learning_Strategies\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">math\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, both of which involve splitting the class into a top half and a bottom half by current skill level and then choosing one student from each block. But Juvonen says teachers would do well to make these matches with pre-existing friendships and common interests in mind as well, and at least \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4681000/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> backs her up (there, how much partners liked each other predicted how well they learned). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Peer-assisted learning does not, unfortunately, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/019874290503000404?journalCode=bhda\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seem to be\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “sufficient to improve the social integration of children who have behavior issues or whose negative reputation is deeply entrenched,” says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://professeurs.uqam.ca/professeur/dion.e/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Éric Dion\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, a professor at the University of Quebec at Montreal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Fostering\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> cooperati\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ve\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> learning\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another type of grouping shows promise for that though. By doing away with competition, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ888657\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cooperative learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> boosts learning and decreases problematic behaviors, says \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://croseth.educ.msu.edu/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cary Roseth\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, chair of the Department of Counseling, Educational Psychology and Special Education at Michigan State University. It requires establishing \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://kappanonline.org/van-ryzin-roseth-power-peer-influence-address-student-behavioral-problems/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">positive interdependence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, meaning “individuals can attain their goals if (and only if) others in their group also reach their goals,” Roseth has written.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Teachers may require a single finished product from a group (goal interdependence) or may offer a reward to the group if everyone achieves above a certain threshold (reward interdependence). Members of the group can be issued different materials that the group must share to complete the lesson (resource interdependence), or each member of the group could be assigned a different role to play (role interdependence). The group may have its own name (identity interdependence), or each group member may have to complete a different step in a task, like on an assembly line (task interdependence).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When teachers carefully create and scaffold small groups, an expectation that a group member will cooperate arises, and that produces liking. If one group member perceives another as attempting to promote their success, that also promotes liking, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">even if they ultimately fail\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A positive feedback loop results: “The more students work cooperatively to learn, the more they will tend to like each other, and the more they like each other, the harder they will work to help each other learn,” Roseth and colleagues report. In other words, positive interdependence fosters, at the very least, Aristotelian friendships of utility.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Equalizing status\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Encouraging contact provides the opportunity for friendships to form, but budding connections can easily be nipped by social status asymmetry. Those who don’t conform with school norms on behavior, ability, sexuality, and even body size will be shunned without intervention, Juvonen says. Promoting a cooperative, rather than competitive, learning environment is one step toward redefining “smart” and “good” in children’s minds, but teachers can further decrease status gaps by drawing attention to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/2018-02-02/california-school-district-explores-strength-based-learning\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">hidden strengths\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3522754/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">2013 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, when camp counselors encouraged peers to interact inclusively with children who exhibit ADHD symptoms and drew attention to those students’ positive characteristics, the reputations of the children with ADHD improved, and they had more reciprocated friendships. The study’s primary author, Amori Yee Mikami, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia, stresses that these findings may not translate to the classroom but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.erudit.org/en/journals/enfance/1900-v1-n1-enfance01654/1028010ar/abstract/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">other studies\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have shown that teachers voicing a favorable opinion of students and interacting with them warmly tends to increase their social integration.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">To this end, teachers should think of themselves in social media parlance as “influencers” or “thought leaders.” Teachers’ relationships with kids “have a big influence on how those kids are seen,” Gest confirms: “Kids who perceive their classmates as not getting along with the teacher come to see those classmates less positively.” But “if teachers make public comments about a child’s academic or social strengths, those have an impact on how kids view that classmate” too.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There’s a problem though: Teachers’ \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397311000219?via%3Dihub\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">take\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> on who is high status and who isn’t doesn’t always align with kids’, Gest says. “There are kids whom teachers perceive to be disruptive and a problem yet who are quite popular with their classmates. And then conversely, sometimes kids teachers perceive as super nice and prosocial are not particularly influential.” A first step, then, in realizing children’s potential to elevate and inspire one another, is “developing an accurate understanding of what those relationship patterns are.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leveraging homophily\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One pattern is called homophily. Plato once wrote “similarity begets friendship,” and modern social science research has proven him right. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2008-08239-010\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Like tends to stick with like\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in terms of attitudes and beliefs, but also ethnicity, socio-economic status, and gender even in an integrated classroom. (In \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Friendship\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Denworth reports: “Friendship with opposite-sex peers ‘drops off precipitously after seven years of age.’”) \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet friendships that bridge these divides have been associated with higher academic outcomes, and Juvonen says, “students with a greater proportion of cross-ethnic friendships reported lower vulnerability” to peer victimization. On the other hand, discriminatory experiences lead to anger, impulsivity, depression, anxiety, sleep loss, and more, all conditions that drive down academic engagement and performance. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For cross-group friendships to thrive, Juvonen says, teachers and administrators have to “disrupt typical social dynamics and avoid instructional practices that highlight differences.” Going after low-hanging fruit, Juvonen recommends we stop saying, “Good morning, boys and girls.” Using these categories implies that they have functional importance in elementary school (when \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/what-science-really-says-about-boys-and-girls/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research has yet to prove they do\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">) and impedes same-gender bonds. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Administrators can also consider explicit anti-bias interventions. Juvonen \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2019.1655645?scroll=top&needAccess=true&journalCode=hedp20\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">says\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> a puppet program that “teaches about acceptance of various body shapes has been shown effective in reducing negative attitudes and stereotypes about larger body shapes.” Inclusive curricula \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.educationdive.com/news/improving-lgbtq-representation-in-curriculum-reduces-stigma-bullying/580239/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can also alter\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> social dynamics.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Though initiatives like these take time and institutional support, there’s one thing educators can do right away, Laursen says. While perceived similarities predict who will become friends better than actual similarities, it’s the latter that determines whether friendships will last. Teachers can help kids’ friendship calculus be more accurate by making less obvious similarities salient. Another way of looking at it? By drawing attention to traits and interests that aren’t as readily apparent as gender or skin tone (e.g., “You two and your Minecraft obsession!”), teachers foster Aristotelian friendships of virtue. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Juvonen says extracurricular activities like sports and interscholastic robotics competitions provide the ideal context both for highlighting shared interests and promoting positive interdependence, but access is often a problem. Administrators can try to decrease hurdles such as transportation and out-of-pocket expenses, as well as ensuring there’s extra support on hand to facilitate the participation of special needs students. But logistical stumbling blocks aren’t the only type. “Some kids are just reluctant to take the big step to join a club,” Laursen says, and schools would do well to create an emotionally safe environment. That can mean paired activities and inclusion-oriented clubs such as Gay-Straight Alliances.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kids can also be encouraged to find hidden similarities on their own. Julia Smith, who teaches first-grade in San Francisco, reads her students \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Day You Begin\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> by Jacqueline Woodson: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cblockquote>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There will be times when you walk into a room and no one there is quite like you until the day you begin to share your stories. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My name is Angelina and I spent my whole summer with my little sister\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, you tell the class …. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Your name is like my sister’s\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, Rigoberto says. \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Her name is Angelina, too\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">…. This is the day you begin to find … every new friend has something a little like you.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/blockquote>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But Elizabeth Self, an assistant professor at Vanderbilt University, says it’s important to keep in mind there simply isn’t enough research on encouraging cross-group friendships for academics like her to provide a 10-tricks book. For the most part, they are instead “going to talk about, you could do this, but you’d need to watch out for that.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Case in point: Just how much to spread kids out. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Skill sorting and ability grouping, Juvonen says, “not only reduces contact, but also highlights status differences between demographic groups.” Tracked classes, resource rooms, and second-language learner programs that separate groups of students and highlight their differences are also “likely to hinder peer acceptance and the development of friendships,” she says. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">And yet, distributing a small group of atypical kids across classrooms can also be the wrong call. In one study, children with disabilities, who can struggle with social integration, were just as likely to have friends and be accepted as their developmentally typical peers when placed in classrooms where one-third of the students had a mild disability. Juvonen’s conclusion: “There is a critical minimum mass required for groups of vulnerable students to be socially integrated.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research on race relations in middle and high schools suggests exactly that. In \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/09/beverly-daniel-tatum-classroom-conversations-race/538758/\">\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Beverly Daniel Tatum, a psychology professor and former president of Spelman College, explains that around the onset of puberty, Black students start to explore their identity just as “the world begins to reflect their Blackness back to them more clearly.” In racially mixed settings, she writes, voluntary “racial grouping is a developmental process in response to an environmental stressor, racism.” When it comes to racial \u003ca href=\"https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/parenting/remote-learning-microaggressions.html\">microaggressions\u003c/a>, white peers “are unprepared to respond in supportive ways.” That makes joining with other Black students “a positive coping strategy.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A teacher with a class of 25 students that includes 5 Black students and needs to be split into 5 groups may be tempted to create diverse pods by placing one of the underrepresented students in each group, but doing so can actually set intergroup relations back. Once kids are old enough to grapple with race, numerical insignificance and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/49230/how-a-stereotype-threat-intervention-can-help-students-in-stem-fields\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">stereotype threat\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">—which one of Dr. Tatum’s young sources described as “that constant burden of you always having to strive to do your best and show that you can do just as much as everybody else\"—can silence and alienate Black children, reduce their status, and thwart friendship formation. When small groups involve peer critique, preventing critical mass can also leave Black students emotionally unprepared to receive feedback. As counterintuitive as it may seem, allowing Black students “the psychological safety of their own group” can actually increase the likelihood that they form friendships outside it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Elizabeth Self says similar concerns apply to “putting kids from the same linguistic background together in maths small group work.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch2>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Making game-time calls\u003c/span>\u003c/h2>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the end of the day, teachers will have to make judgment calls when it comes to friendship. Students who are easily distracted may benefit from more individual work, and there’s research showing that friends \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">do \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">interfere with productivity in some circumstances: for example, when they’re not engaged by the subject matter or they put one another’s feelings over giving meaningful feedback. But if a friendless child goofs off with a peer, Laursen says, a little more leeway may be in order, since research shows that kids with at least one friend are both less likely to be bullied and less harmed by bullying. It would make sense then, to seat a child with very low social status near one who is both friendly and popular. A warm relationship with someone like that could increase classwide acceptance considerably. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Elizabeth Self likes the idea of reconceptualizing friends as a resource, thinking, “How can we give them permission to draw on that person?” When a student is getting out of sorts, for example: “If they have a good bud who is not in the classroom, say: ‘Let’s go see if we can pull Margarita from Ms. Jon’s class. You all stay in the hall for five minutes. We are going to set a timer to see if spending some time together helps you to be able to come back into class.’” In the context of restorative justice circles, why not have an ally present for each child? “I think there is rich opportunity here,” she says.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">But Gest wants to remind teachers, administrators, and their communities: “You can’t address everything at once, through either a seating arrangement or a group learning assignment.” Yes, friendship can present untapped academic potential, but “there’s limits to how much teachers can do.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This article is part of the “\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/tag/friendships\">Friendship in Schools\u003c/a>” series, which explores the complexities of friendship at various stages of learning.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/gailcornwall\">Gail Cornwall\u003c/a> works as a mother and writer in San Francisco. Her youngest child is in Julia Smith’s class at Rooftop School.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>Lydia Denworth wants you to make more time for your friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We don't fully appreciate our friendships, says the science writer and author of the new book \u003cem>Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond.\u003c/em> If we did, we'd take cultivating those intimate bonds as seriously as working out or eating well. Because, she writes, a new field of science is revealing that social connections play a vital role in our health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On average, people have only four very close relationships, Denworth finds, and very few people can sustain more than six. But the effect of these few core relationships extends beyond our social lives, influencing our health on the cellular level — from our immune system to our cardiovascular system.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Denworth spoke with NPR about the science of friendship and its underestimated value to kids and adults and even for other species like sheep and fish. (Although she's frequently asked about human-animal friendships, Denworth sticks to bonds within one species in the book.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>This interview has been edited for clarity and length.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What is most misunderstood about friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very few people understand that your social relationships can actually change your health. They can change your cardiovascular system, your immune system, how you sleep, your cognitive health. How could this thing that exists entirely outside the body affect whether you're likely to catch a virus? And yet that's exactly what we now know that social connection does. We thought of loneliness as this difficult emotion, but just an emotion. And we think of friends as this lovely thing — but it is actually a matter of life and death. And there's this evolutionary drive to connect. People think all the time about competition and survival of the fittest, but really it's survival of the friendliest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is friendship just something humans do, or do we see it in other species?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What has been surprising to evolutionary biologists is just how much friendship exists across species. They have found something that looks like friendship in dolphins, and elephants, and horses, and zebras, and hyenas and all kinds of species. Even fish — their brains respond to familiar fish versus strange fish in ways that look a lot like what goes on in our brains. Understanding that tells you there's this much larger story than just human culture. And that's what people thought friendship was: a product of human culture and language. But now we understand that it is universal.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Are bonds with friends different from bonds with romantic or sexual partners? Or bonds with family?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't actually think that it's all that unique. We generally think of friends as people we don't have sex with and to whom we're not related. But the truth is that in this new science and in fact the way we live our lives, those lines are blurred. I think of friendship now as a template for all your relationships, because if you think about the sort of basic definition of friendship — it makes you feel good, it's positive, a long-lasting stable relationship, and it has some cooperation and reciprocity to it — that's what you want to be striving for in your closest relationships. And that can be with your spouse or your sibling or a relative, but not always. What matters is the quality of the bond, not its origin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Does gender play a role in friendships? \u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The standard line is that women do friendship face-to-face and men do it side by side, meaning women spend their time talking and men do things together. And there's truth to that, but when you ask men how much they value friendship, their answers are the same, for the most part. The similarities are greater than the differences between men and women.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>One of your chapters focuses on the social aspect of middle school. How did researching that affect your thinking as a parent?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The middle school thing, it's such a crucible. And it really is true: Middle school is about lunch. Most parents thinking about their kids going into middle school, they do know that socially it can be a very difficult time, but they don't necessarily think about how that plays out in the course of a day. [Realizing] that crystallized to me this idea that friendship really, really matters in kids' lives, and we are falling down on the job, as parents and teachers, if we aren't fully understanding that. Things that I might have said no to before, I am more likely to say yes to now, if it means that my kids are going to be with their good friends.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Is social media helping or hurting our friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Friendship is alive and well in the age of social media. In terms of relationships and connectivity and networks, it's a positive. The place where it is hard on relationships is when you're face-to-face and instead of looking at your friends, you're looking at your phone. Looking at a person face-to-face, in person, your brain responds differently even if you look at that same person on a screen, and certainly if you're online and not looking at their face. There's all this talk about the word \"friend\" being devalued by things like Facebook using [the term], but I don't really think that's true. We know who our really good friends are, whether we're online with them or offline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you see friendship taken for granted in the world around you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I do. Friendship is so familiar that we think we know all about it, but we don't fully appreciate it. We think it's pleasurable and fun, but friends are often the first thing to go when you're busy. Or you fall in love and ditch your friends. I was guilty myself of passing a friend on the street corner here in Brooklyn and saying, \"Let's definitely get together,\" and then not. We are so achievement driven in so much of what we do. I think it's healthy to be reminded that time with other people really matters.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>How did writing this book make you think differently about your own friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's made me prioritize them more. The message is not that I want people to think of friendship as another chore. I am hoping that people feel this is giving them permission to make friends a priority. To spend time with their friends and to know that when they do, they're doing something good for their own health and for their friends' health, and I've taken that to heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Elena Renken is an intern on the NPR science desk.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cdiv class=\"fullattribution\">Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.\u003cimg src=\"https://www.google-analytics.com/__utm.gif?utmac=UA-5828686-4&utmdt=Survival+Of+The+Friendliest%3A+How+Our+Close+Friendships+Help+Us+Thrive&utme=8(APIKey)9(MDAxOTAwOTE4MDEyMTkxMDAzNjczZDljZA004)\">\u003c/div>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What is most misunderstood about friendships?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Very few people understand that your social relationships can actually change your health. They can change your cardiovascular system, your immune system, how you sleep, your cognitive health. How could this thing that exists entirely outside the body affect whether you're likely to catch a virus? And yet that's exactly what we now know that social connection does. We thought of loneliness as this difficult emotion, but just an emotion. And we think of friends as this lovely thing — but it is actually a matter of life and death. And there's this evolutionary drive to connect. 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Looking at a person face-to-face, in person, your brain responds differently even if you look at that same person on a screen, and certainly if you're online and not looking at their face. There's all this talk about the word \"friend\" being devalued by things like Facebook using [the term], but I don't really think that's true. We know who our really good friends are, whether we're online with them or offline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Do you see friendship taken for granted in the world around you?\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I do. Friendship is so familiar that we think we know all about it, but we don't fully appreciate it. We think it's pleasurable and fun, but friends are often the first thing to go when you're busy. Or you fall in love and ditch your friends. I was guilty myself of passing a friend on the street corner here in Brooklyn and saying, \"Let's definitely get together,\" and then not. We are so achievement driven in so much of what we do. 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}
},
"baycurious": {
"id": "baycurious",
"title": "Bay Curious",
"tagline": "Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time",
"info": "KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.",
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"order": 3
},
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},
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"info": "The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.",
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"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"meta": {
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},
"link": "/radio/program/bbc-world-service",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2",
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/",
"rss": "https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"
}
},
"californiareport": {
"id": "californiareport",
"title": "The California Report",
"tagline": "California, day by day",
"info": "KQED’s statewide radio news program providing daily coverage of issues, trends and public policy decisions.",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-California-Report-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/californiareport",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 8
},
"link": "/californiareport",
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"amazon": "https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/26099305-72af-4542-9dde-ac1807fe36d5/kqed-s-the-california-report",
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}
},
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"title": "The California Report Magazine",
"tagline": "Your state, your stories",
"info": "Every week, The California Report Magazine takes you on a road trip for the ears: to visit the places and meet the people who make California unique. The in-depth storytelling podcast from the California Report.",
"airtime": "FRI 4:30pm-5pm, 6:30pm-7pm, 11pm-11:30pm",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/californiareportmagazine",
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"order": 10
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM3NjkwNjk1OTAz",
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},
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"id": "city-arts",
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"info": "A one-hour radio program to hear celebrated writers, artists and thinkers address contemporary ideas and values, often discussing the creative process. Please note: tapes or transcripts are not available",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/05/cityartsandlecture-300x300.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.cityarts.net/",
"airtime": "SUN 1pm-2pm, TUE 10pm, WED 1am",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "City Arts & Lectures"
},
"link": "https://www.cityarts.net",
"subscribe": {
"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/radio/City-Arts-and-Lectures-p692/",
"rss": "https://www.cityarts.net/feed/"
}
},
"closealltabs": {
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/closealltabs",
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"order": 1
},
"link": "/podcasts/closealltabs",
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"info": "\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />",
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"meta": {
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},
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"id": "commonwealth-club",
"title": "Commonwealth Club of California Podcast",
"info": "The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.",
"airtime": "THU 10pm, FRI 1am",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "Commonwealth Club of California"
},
"link": "/radio/program/commonwealth-club",
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw",
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"title": "Forum",
"tagline": "The conversation starts here",
"info": "KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal",
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 9
},
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz",
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"id": "freakonomics-radio",
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"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/freakonomicsRadio.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://freakonomics.com/",
"airtime": "SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm",
"meta": {
"site": "radio",
"source": "WNYC"
},
"link": "/radio/program/freakonomics-radio",
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"tuneIn": "https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/",
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},
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"id": "fresh-air",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=214089682&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"info": "A live production of NPR and WBUR Boston, in collaboration with stations across the country, Here & Now reflects the fluid world of news as it's happening in the middle of the day, with timely, in-depth news, interviews and conversation. Hosted by Robin Young, Jeremy Hobson and Tonya Mosley.",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510051/podcast.xml"
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"hidden-brain": {
"id": "hidden-brain",
"title": "Hidden Brain",
"info": "Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/series/423302056/hidden-brain",
"airtime": "SUN 7pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "NPR"
},
"link": "/radio/program/hidden-brain",
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},
"how-i-built-this": {
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"title": "How I Built This with Guy Raz",
"info": "Guy Raz dives into the stories behind some of the world's best known companies. How I Built This weaves a narrative journey about innovators, entrepreneurs and idealists—and the movements they built.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/howIBuiltThis.png",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510313/how-i-built-this",
"airtime": "SUN 7:30pm-8pm",
"meta": {
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"source": "npr"
},
"link": "/radio/program/how-i-built-this",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/how-i-built-this-with-guy-raz/id1150510297?mt=2",
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},
"hyphenacion": {
"id": "hyphenacion",
"title": "Hyphenación",
"tagline": "Where conversation and cultura meet",
"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Hyphenacion_FinalAssets_PodcastTile.png",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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"order": 15
},
"link": "/podcasts/hyphenacion",
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},
"jerrybrown": {
"id": "jerrybrown",
"title": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown",
"tagline": "Lessons from a lifetime in politics",
"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-Political-Mind-of-Jerry-Brown-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
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"officialWebsiteLink": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 18
},
"link": "/podcasts/jerrybrown",
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1492194549",
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}
},
"latino-usa": {
"id": "latino-usa",
"title": "Latino USA",
"airtime": "MON 1am-2am, SUN 6pm-7pm",
"info": "Latino USA, the radio journal of news and culture, is the only national, English-language radio program produced from a Latino perspective.",
"imageSrc": "https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/latinoUsa.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "http://latinousa.org/",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "npr"
},
"link": "/radio/program/latino-usa",
"subscribe": {
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"apple": "https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=79681317&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory",
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"rss": "https://feeds.npr.org/510016/podcast.xml"
}
},
"marketplace": {
"id": "marketplace",
"title": "Marketplace",
"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 4pm-4:30pm, MON-WED 6:30pm-7pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Marketplace-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.marketplace.org/",
"meta": {
"site": "news",
"source": "American Public Media"
},
"link": "/radio/program/marketplace",
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"rss": "https://feeds.publicradio.org/public_feeds/marketplace-pm/rss/rss"
}
},
"masters-of-scale": {
"id": "masters-of-scale",
"title": "Masters of Scale",
"info": "Masters of Scale is an original podcast in which LinkedIn co-founder and Greylock Partner Reid Hoffman sets out to describe and prove theories that explain how great entrepreneurs take their companies from zero to a gazillion in ingenious fashion.",
"airtime": "Every other Wednesday June 12 through October 16 at 8pm (repeats Thursdays at 2am)",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Masters-of-Scale-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://mastersofscale.com/",
"meta": {
"site": "radio",
"source": "WaitWhat"
},
"link": "/radio/program/masters-of-scale",
"subscribe": {
"apple": "http://mastersofscale.app.link/",
"rss": "https://rss.art19.com/masters-of-scale"
}
},
"mindshift": {
"id": "mindshift",
"title": "MindShift",
"tagline": "A podcast about the future of learning and how we raise our kids",
"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Mindshift-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg",
"imageAlt": "KQED MindShift: How We Will Learn",
"officialWebsiteLink": "/mindshift/",
"meta": {
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"source": "kqed",
"order": 12
},
"link": "/podcasts/mindshift",
"subscribe": {
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"google": "https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM1NzY0NjAwNDI5",
"npr": "https://www.npr.org/podcasts/464615685/mind-shift-podcast",
"stitcher": "https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/stories-teachers-share",
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}
},
"morning-edition": {
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