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"disqusTitle": "Shuna's Famous Gingerbread",
"title": "Shuna's Famous Gingerbread",
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"content": "\u003cp>About a month ago I came home to this intriguing note:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"OK Eggbeater, your food blog kept me interested for hours. But the recipe that the world REALLY needs is for your gingerbread...so when can I look forward to that? sd\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I laughed out loud. SD is \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesbeard.org/old/events/1999/05/001.html\">\u003cstrong>Stephen Durfee\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, pastry chef from my time at \u003ca href=\"http://www.frenchlaundry.com/tfl/tfloverview.htm\">\u003cstrong>The French Laundry\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. A wild and wacky fellow with energetic ideas and a personality riding just this side of mayhem. Suffice to say we were at times near opposite ends of the wall containing our illustrious department. I learned to take chances working for Stephen. He taught me to verbally \"grade\" my work so that we could both track my improvement. And he pushed the envelope of \"shoulds,\" supporting and nurturing in me my own \"what ifs\" and \"why nots.\" We created desserts with bacon, dressed fruit and nuts with virgin oils and worked dark to dark sometimes months in a row without a day off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The day Stephen learned he had been nominated for the James Beard award for best pastry chef he called to thank me. I was puzzled. \"For what?\" I inquired. \"For supporting me. I didn't win this nomination on my own,\" he explained generously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stephen was the last pastry chef I worked for. It was his nest I was pushed out of, propelled just down the road to \u003ca href=\"http://www.frenchlaundry.com/bouchon/booverview.htm\">\u003cstrong>Bouchon\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. Stephen was who I leaned against when I couldn't figure out how to make something work. He gently and almost inperceptibly transitioned out of being my boss and singular mentor to becoming a fan of my desserts, asking \u003cstrong>me\u003c/strong> for \u003cstrong>my\u003c/strong> recipes. Here in lies one of the differences between a chef who can share and a chef who needs to maintain her/his egotistical, maniacal power over their cooks. For are we not comprised of where we came from, the gifts others give us and that which we pass on? We \u003cstrong>keep\u003c/strong> what we have by \u003cstrong>giving\u003c/strong> it away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallPot-783104.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallPot-776026.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My professional cooking started out as foreplay; sensual descriptive romantic words tempted, lured and seduced me into hot searing kitchens. \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060955309/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Laurie Colwin\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> held me rapt at attention, first with her novels, later with real life stories of cooking and entertaining in her first Greenwich Village apartment, a space so tiny it had neither dining room nor kitchen! Down to earth and hysterically funny, Colwin spoiled me with extremely well-written prose about an ecclectic and eccentric mix of edible subjects. In the foreward of her first book she reminds us we are never alone whilst cooking. In citing which authors kept her company at her own stoves, I was cordially introduced to \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689113056/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Jane Grigson's Fruit Book\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, which remains, to this day, my favorite book, my go-to location for inspiring, elegant fruit ideas and beautiful anecdotes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0974784109/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Edward Behr\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> let me in on his secret: be not afraid of obsessively and passionately uncovering every detail about one ingredient. Research apples, cream or eggs to their very point of origin and then live in the library to learn more. \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0871136007/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Ronni Lundy\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> wrapped me in her warm Southern arms, shared stories from old-timey hollers, presented family recipes and photographs, beguiling my modern mind with comforting foods. Biscuits so simple I learned early on that a recipe is nothing without learned hands. Hands timid and reverant enough to honor simple is not simplistic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadPresiftSmall-798910.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadPresiftSmall-794814.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, baking is about paying close attention. But it's also about taking chances. Making the pie dough you fear. Sharing tiny tasty whimsical cookies. Becoming crazy with happiness and delight at the sight of a souffle rising.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a repetoire of hundreds of recipes I've made, tweaked, learned, and taught, I am very very proud of a small handful. Ones I brought from belly crawl to walk. Recipes which crept into dreams quietly whispering, or came wafting through dusty old library stacks, never settling, souls in limbo, teasingly, like the one you can never catch during hide & seek. Taste memories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My gingerbread is one of these such recipes. In both Home Cooking and More Home Cooking, Laurie Colwin's two books of compiled Gourmet Magazine essays, Ms. Colwin dedicates a chapter each to gingerbread. A sweet considered old world, the gingerbread, she sadly notes, has gone out of fashion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...gingerbread made from scratch takes very little time and gives back tenfold what you put into it. Baking gingerbread perfumes a house as nothing else. It is good eaten warm or cool, iced or plain. It improves with age, should you be lucky or restrained enough to keep any around.\" Laurie Colwin, Home Cooking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every word of her two odes to gingerbread is true. Make the following recipe if you don't believe me. Shuna's Famous Gingerbread can be made in any baking vessel, metal or ceramic. It sits proudly on the fence between sweet and savoury. In one mood I eat it toasted with runny cheese, another with chocolate ice cream. It can be haughty beside creme fraiche, will bed a poached pear or get in the ring confidently with a perfectly ripe August Stilton. A strong restaurant plated dessert component, this gingerbread keeps and strengthens in character over the course of a week. And you don't need a Kitchen-Aid!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallMEP-727804.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallMEP-722225.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I will reiterate that \u003ca href=\"http://eggbeater.typepad.com/shuna/2005/11/recipe_writing.html\">\u003cstrong>recipes are guides\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. Over many years of making gingerbread from various sources I took all my favorite traits and their corresponding results, combining them into one recipe. Please don't let the amount of ingredients scare you. Although it's a tall order, many substitutions can be made, and in the end it can just be an excuse to make too much. Friends and co-workers of mine rarely complain that, yet again, I have made more than what my own small household can decently consume.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadCoolingSmall-704768.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadCoolingSmall-798334.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHUNA'S FAMOUS GINGERBREAD\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>18 ounces All Purpose Flour\u003cbr>6 ounces Sugar\u003cbr>1 1/2 teaspoons Kosher Salt\u003cbr>1 Tablespoon Baking Soda\u003cbr>3 Tablespoons + Ground Ginger\u003cbr>1/2 teaspoon Ground Cloves\u003cbr>1 1/2 teaspoon Ground Cinnamon\u003cbr>1 Tablespoon Ground Cardamon\u003cbr>1 teaspoon + Freshly Ground Black Pepper\u003cbr>1 teaspoon *optional: Ground Coriander*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>8 ounces Unsalted Butter\u003cbr>3 1/2 ounces Blackstrap Molasses\u003cbr>6 ounces Simple Syrup **recipe in instructions** you may substitute Lyle's golden syrup or light corn syrup\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>3 each Large Egg Yolks\u003cbr>2 each Large Eggs\u003cbr>8 ounces buttermilk you may substitute sour cream or use a mixture of them both to create the eight ounces\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Suggestions: Use the freshest, organic if possible, ground spices. Rainbow Grocery is a fantastic source for buying small amounts in bulk. Keep spices away from light and heat in your kitchen and try to use them up within 6 months of purchase date.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>**To make simple syrup place equal parts sugar and cold water in saucepan and bring to a boil until mixture is clear. For a thicker syrup boil for at least 10 minutes or increase the amount of sugar. For this recipe 1/2 cup sugar to 1/2 cup water will be sufficient.**\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1. Preheat oven to 350F\u003cbr>2. Butter desired baking vessels. {Sometimes I coat with raw or white sugar inside as you would flour for a cake.}\u003cbr>3. Sift all dry ingredients except salt and pepper into a large bowl\u003cbr>4. Whisk in salt and pepper until mixture is uniform and create a \"well\" in center\u003cbr>5. In a medium non-reactive saucepan bring butter, molasses and simple syrup to a boil \u003cstrong>slowly\u003c/strong> {this mixture is feisty and will boil over if the heat is on too high or your saucepan is crowding it}\u003cbr>6. In another bowl whisk together egg yolks, eggs and dairy\u003cbr>7. When mixture on stove comes to a boil, shut off heat and let rest for a moment\u003cbr>8. Pour this hot mixture all at once into the center of your bowl of dry ingredients\u003cbr>9. Using a whisk, mix dry ingredients into liquid, from center out, carefully\u003cbr>10. When batter begins to seize, pour in second bowl of wet ingredients\u003cbr>11. Whisk batter until smooth and uniform. Batter is loose\u003cbr>12. Pour batter a little over halfway into buttered baking tins\u003cbr>13. I set my first timer for about 15 minutes, {unless you are making muffin-size or smaller}, so that I can turn the pan around for a more even bake\u003cbr>14. Gingerbread is done when sides pull away from the pan, middle bounces back to the touch and/or a cake-tester inserted in the center comes out clean\u003cbr>{From this recipe I made one cake pan, one loaf, and it took about 35 minutes}\u003cbr>15. Cool at least until warm before slicing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now for the fantastic final detail/hint. You may turn this recipe into a \"mix\"! Assemble one recipe of just the dry ingredients. Weigh mixture and jot it down. You can keep mix in the cupboard for a rainy day and bake any fraction of it which suits you. This gingerbread is spicy and warming. A perfect, not-too-sweet confection for the coldest month of the year. Happy 2006!\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"description": "About a month ago I came home to this intriguing note: "OK Eggbeater, your food blog kept me interested for hours. But the recipe that the world REALLY needs is for your gingerbread...so when can I look forward to that? sd" I laughed out loud. SD is Stephen Durfee, pastry chef from my time at",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>About a month ago I came home to this intriguing note:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"OK Eggbeater, your food blog kept me interested for hours. But the recipe that the world REALLY needs is for your gingerbread...so when can I look forward to that? sd\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I laughed out loud. SD is \u003ca href=\"http://www.jamesbeard.org/old/events/1999/05/001.html\">\u003cstrong>Stephen Durfee\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, pastry chef from my time at \u003ca href=\"http://www.frenchlaundry.com/tfl/tfloverview.htm\">\u003cstrong>The French Laundry\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. A wild and wacky fellow with energetic ideas and a personality riding just this side of mayhem. Suffice to say we were at times near opposite ends of the wall containing our illustrious department. I learned to take chances working for Stephen. He taught me to verbally \"grade\" my work so that we could both track my improvement. And he pushed the envelope of \"shoulds,\" supporting and nurturing in me my own \"what ifs\" and \"why nots.\" We created desserts with bacon, dressed fruit and nuts with virgin oils and worked dark to dark sometimes months in a row without a day off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The day Stephen learned he had been nominated for the James Beard award for best pastry chef he called to thank me. I was puzzled. \"For what?\" I inquired. \"For supporting me. I didn't win this nomination on my own,\" he explained generously.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stephen was the last pastry chef I worked for. It was his nest I was pushed out of, propelled just down the road to \u003ca href=\"http://www.frenchlaundry.com/bouchon/booverview.htm\">\u003cstrong>Bouchon\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. Stephen was who I leaned against when I couldn't figure out how to make something work. He gently and almost inperceptibly transitioned out of being my boss and singular mentor to becoming a fan of my desserts, asking \u003cstrong>me\u003c/strong> for \u003cstrong>my\u003c/strong> recipes. Here in lies one of the differences between a chef who can share and a chef who needs to maintain her/his egotistical, maniacal power over their cooks. For are we not comprised of where we came from, the gifts others give us and that which we pass on? We \u003cstrong>keep\u003c/strong> what we have by \u003cstrong>giving\u003c/strong> it away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallPot-783104.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallPot-776026.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My professional cooking started out as foreplay; sensual descriptive romantic words tempted, lured and seduced me into hot searing kitchens. \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060955309/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Laurie Colwin\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> held me rapt at attention, first with her novels, later with real life stories of cooking and entertaining in her first Greenwich Village apartment, a space so tiny it had neither dining room nor kitchen! Down to earth and hysterically funny, Colwin spoiled me with extremely well-written prose about an ecclectic and eccentric mix of edible subjects. In the foreward of her first book she reminds us we are never alone whilst cooking. In citing which authors kept her company at her own stoves, I was cordially introduced to \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689113056/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Jane Grigson's Fruit Book\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, which remains, to this day, my favorite book, my go-to location for inspiring, elegant fruit ideas and beautiful anecdotes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0974784109/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Edward Behr\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> let me in on his secret: be not afraid of obsessively and passionately uncovering every detail about one ingredient. Research apples, cream or eggs to their very point of origin and then live in the library to learn more. \u003ca href=\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0871136007/002-7645849-9984021?v=glance&n=283155\">\u003cstrong>Ronni Lundy\u003c/strong>\u003c/a> wrapped me in her warm Southern arms, shared stories from old-timey hollers, presented family recipes and photographs, beguiling my modern mind with comforting foods. Biscuits so simple I learned early on that a recipe is nothing without learned hands. Hands timid and reverant enough to honor simple is not simplistic.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadPresiftSmall-798910.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadPresiftSmall-794814.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, baking is about paying close attention. But it's also about taking chances. Making the pie dough you fear. Sharing tiny tasty whimsical cookies. Becoming crazy with happiness and delight at the sight of a souffle rising.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a repetoire of hundreds of recipes I've made, tweaked, learned, and taught, I am very very proud of a small handful. Ones I brought from belly crawl to walk. Recipes which crept into dreams quietly whispering, or came wafting through dusty old library stacks, never settling, souls in limbo, teasingly, like the one you can never catch during hide & seek. Taste memories.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My gingerbread is one of these such recipes. In both Home Cooking and More Home Cooking, Laurie Colwin's two books of compiled Gourmet Magazine essays, Ms. Colwin dedicates a chapter each to gingerbread. A sweet considered old world, the gingerbread, she sadly notes, has gone out of fashion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...gingerbread made from scratch takes very little time and gives back tenfold what you put into it. Baking gingerbread perfumes a house as nothing else. It is good eaten warm or cool, iced or plain. It improves with age, should you be lucky or restrained enough to keep any around.\" Laurie Colwin, Home Cooking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Every word of her two odes to gingerbread is true. Make the following recipe if you don't believe me. Shuna's Famous Gingerbread can be made in any baking vessel, metal or ceramic. It sits proudly on the fence between sweet and savoury. In one mood I eat it toasted with runny cheese, another with chocolate ice cream. It can be haughty beside creme fraiche, will bed a poached pear or get in the ring confidently with a perfectly ripe August Stilton. A strong restaurant plated dessert component, this gingerbread keeps and strengthens in character over the course of a week. And you don't need a Kitchen-Aid!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallMEP-727804.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadSmallMEP-722225.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I will reiterate that \u003ca href=\"http://eggbeater.typepad.com/shuna/2005/11/recipe_writing.html\">\u003cstrong>recipes are guides\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>. Over many years of making gingerbread from various sources I took all my favorite traits and their corresponding results, combining them into one recipe. Please don't let the amount of ingredients scare you. Although it's a tall order, many substitutions can be made, and in the end it can just be an excuse to make too much. Friends and co-workers of mine rarely complain that, yet again, I have made more than what my own small household can decently consume.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadCoolingSmall-704768.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/gingerbreadCoolingSmall-798334.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>SHUNA'S FAMOUS GINGERBREAD\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>18 ounces All Purpose Flour\u003cbr>6 ounces Sugar\u003cbr>1 1/2 teaspoons Kosher Salt\u003cbr>1 Tablespoon Baking Soda\u003cbr>3 Tablespoons + Ground Ginger\u003cbr>1/2 teaspoon Ground Cloves\u003cbr>1 1/2 teaspoon Ground Cinnamon\u003cbr>1 Tablespoon Ground Cardamon\u003cbr>1 teaspoon + Freshly Ground Black Pepper\u003cbr>1 teaspoon *optional: Ground Coriander*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>8 ounces Unsalted Butter\u003cbr>3 1/2 ounces Blackstrap Molasses\u003cbr>6 ounces Simple Syrup **recipe in instructions** you may substitute Lyle's golden syrup or light corn syrup\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>3 each Large Egg Yolks\u003cbr>2 each Large Eggs\u003cbr>8 ounces buttermilk you may substitute sour cream or use a mixture of them both to create the eight ounces\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Suggestions: Use the freshest, organic if possible, ground spices. Rainbow Grocery is a fantastic source for buying small amounts in bulk. Keep spices away from light and heat in your kitchen and try to use them up within 6 months of purchase date.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>**To make simple syrup place equal parts sugar and cold water in saucepan and bring to a boil until mixture is clear. For a thicker syrup boil for at least 10 minutes or increase the amount of sugar. For this recipe 1/2 cup sugar to 1/2 cup water will be sufficient.**\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1. Preheat oven to 350F\u003cbr>2. Butter desired baking vessels. {Sometimes I coat with raw or white sugar inside as you would flour for a cake.}\u003cbr>3. Sift all dry ingredients except salt and pepper into a large bowl\u003cbr>4. Whisk in salt and pepper until mixture is uniform and create a \"well\" in center\u003cbr>5. In a medium non-reactive saucepan bring butter, molasses and simple syrup to a boil \u003cstrong>slowly\u003c/strong> {this mixture is feisty and will boil over if the heat is on too high or your saucepan is crowding it}\u003cbr>6. In another bowl whisk together egg yolks, eggs and dairy\u003cbr>7. When mixture on stove comes to a boil, shut off heat and let rest for a moment\u003cbr>8. Pour this hot mixture all at once into the center of your bowl of dry ingredients\u003cbr>9. Using a whisk, mix dry ingredients into liquid, from center out, carefully\u003cbr>10. When batter begins to seize, pour in second bowl of wet ingredients\u003cbr>11. Whisk batter until smooth and uniform. Batter is loose\u003cbr>12. Pour batter a little over halfway into buttered baking tins\u003cbr>13. I set my first timer for about 15 minutes, {unless you are making muffin-size or smaller}, so that I can turn the pan around for a more even bake\u003cbr>14. Gingerbread is done when sides pull away from the pan, middle bounces back to the touch and/or a cake-tester inserted in the center comes out clean\u003cbr>{From this recipe I made one cake pan, one loaf, and it took about 35 minutes}\u003cbr>15. Cool at least until warm before slicing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now for the fantastic final detail/hint. You may turn this recipe into a \"mix\"! Assemble one recipe of just the dry ingredients. Weigh mixture and jot it down. You can keep mix in the cupboard for a rainy day and bake any fraction of it which suits you. This gingerbread is spicy and warming. A perfect, not-too-sweet confection for the coldest month of the year. Happy 2006!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"disqusTitle": "We Wish You a Merry Cheesemas",
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"content": "\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger1-717153.jpg\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger1-713160.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ye Olde Stanke Cheeseshoppe, we are quite serious about our cheese. However, there are times -- especially in moments of high stress -- when we also get quite silly about it. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There has long been a tradition of one cheesemonger or another suddenly bursting into song as they pull the wire through a round or as they offer a taste of something to a customer. Although the customer might be taken aback by this behavior, I assure you it is perfectly normal. It is also perfectly normal for another cheesemonger to chime in on the next verse. But if you listen closely, you'll realize that, while you recognize the tune, the words are a totally different story (I do believe that \"Meaux! Meaux! Meaux! How do you like it? How do you like it?\" is nice and catchy). See, the longer you Work in Cheese, the more you likely you are to realize how many songs can be made up about cheese, glorious cheese. Especially when you're \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://www.grubreport.com/blueplatespecial/hotchocolate.html\">all hopped up on hot chocolate flights\u003c/a>\u003c/b>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are times when we've even chewed over the idea of burning our own CD and calling it \"Cheesemonger's Delight\" or something. At any rate, with the constant Christmas carols being pounded into my head no matter where I go, it was just a matter of time before I fully cracked and started coming up with lyrics. So, here are a few Cheesemas carols to speed you on your merry way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>How lovely is thy bloomy rind\u003cbr>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>Not only ripe in summer's heat\u003cbr>But also paired with salty meat\u003cbr>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>How lovely is thy bloomy rind\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>God Rest Ye Merry, Cheesemonger\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>God rest ye merry, cheesemonger; let's plan a large buffet.\u003cbr>Remember, Mozz, our sa-a-vior will sell out every day\u003cbr>So shave us all some Parmesan while we cut more Ouray. \u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy! \u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Pyrenees, in Switzerland, some lovely cheese was formed,\u003cbr>And aged within a natural rind upon this sav'ry morn;\u003cbr>The which to all great e-ea-ters is nothing but cheese porn.\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From Greece our island partner, a blessed Feta came;\u003cbr>And unto certain mo-on-ngers brought tastings of the same;\u003cbr>And there was some nice Ardrahan that sort of causes stains.\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy! \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Silent Cheese\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Silent Cheese, Holey Cheese\u003cbr>All is Tomme, all is Bries\u003cbr>'Round of Che-eh-der\u003cbr>Monger and wire\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Holey Stilton so stinky and dire\u003cbr>Cheese, oh HEA-ven-ly, chee-EESE!\u003cbr>Chee-eese, oh hea-ven-ly, cheese.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>O, Come All Ye Mongers\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>O come, all ye mongers,\u003cbr>Tired yet still patient,\u003cbr>O eat ye, O e-eat ye some Mo-on-tegrappa\u003cbr>Come taste our Poacher, pair it with a Chardonnay\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it,\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>Brie de Meaux.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slice, wires of mongers, \u003cbr>Slice in quick rotation;\u003cbr>Slice all the Fougerous of heaven above:\u003cbr>Fourme of Ambert, Fourme is the priciest\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it,\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>Brie de Meaux\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Here We Come A-Mongering\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Here we come a-mongering among the cheese and cream\u003cbr>Here we come a-wiring so fair to be seen. \u003cbr>Brie and chevre wrapped for you.\u003cbr>And to you glad Gruyere too.\u003cbr>And Gouda bless you and send you a stinky New Year. \u003cbr>And Gouda send you a stinky New Year.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I told my mother about them and when I got to \"roquefort and joy,\" she could only groan, \"Oh, \u003ci>Steph\u003c/i>-ie, that's awful!\" She also didn't think our family friend and \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2007/03/10/music.shtml\">opera star Janis Hardy\u003c/a>\u003c/b> could be induced to sing them the next time she makes an appearance on Garrison Keillor's \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/\">\"A Prairie Home Companion.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/b> Oh, the world can be such a cruel, punless place!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger2-783294.jpg\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger2-779126.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger1-717153.jpg\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger1-713160.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Ye Olde Stanke Cheeseshoppe, we are quite serious about our cheese. However, there are times -- especially in moments of high stress -- when we also get quite silly about it. \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There has long been a tradition of one cheesemonger or another suddenly bursting into song as they pull the wire through a round or as they offer a taste of something to a customer. Although the customer might be taken aback by this behavior, I assure you it is perfectly normal. It is also perfectly normal for another cheesemonger to chime in on the next verse. But if you listen closely, you'll realize that, while you recognize the tune, the words are a totally different story (I do believe that \"Meaux! Meaux! Meaux! How do you like it? How do you like it?\" is nice and catchy). See, the longer you Work in Cheese, the more you likely you are to realize how many songs can be made up about cheese, glorious cheese. Especially when you're \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://www.grubreport.com/blueplatespecial/hotchocolate.html\">all hopped up on hot chocolate flights\u003c/a>\u003c/b>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are times when we've even chewed over the idea of burning our own CD and calling it \"Cheesemonger's Delight\" or something. At any rate, with the constant Christmas carols being pounded into my head no matter where I go, it was just a matter of time before I fully cracked and started coming up with lyrics. So, here are a few Cheesemas carols to speed you on your merry way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>How lovely is thy bloomy rind\u003cbr>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>Not only ripe in summer's heat\u003cbr>But also paired with salty meat\u003cbr>Oh, Christmas Cheese, Oh Christmas Cheese\u003cbr>How lovely is thy bloomy rind\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>God Rest Ye Merry, Cheesemonger\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>God rest ye merry, cheesemonger; let's plan a large buffet.\u003cbr>Remember, Mozz, our sa-a-vior will sell out every day\u003cbr>So shave us all some Parmesan while we cut more Ouray. \u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy! \u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Pyrenees, in Switzerland, some lovely cheese was formed,\u003cbr>And aged within a natural rind upon this sav'ry morn;\u003cbr>The which to all great e-ea-ters is nothing but cheese porn.\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From Greece our island partner, a blessed Feta came;\u003cbr>And unto certain mo-on-ngers brought tastings of the same;\u003cbr>And there was some nice Ardrahan that sort of causes stains.\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy, Roquefort and joy!\u003cbr>O tidings of Roquefort and joy! \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Silent Cheese\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Silent Cheese, Holey Cheese\u003cbr>All is Tomme, all is Bries\u003cbr>'Round of Che-eh-der\u003cbr>Monger and wire\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Holey Stilton so stinky and dire\u003cbr>Cheese, oh HEA-ven-ly, chee-EESE!\u003cbr>Chee-eese, oh hea-ven-ly, cheese.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>O, Come All Ye Mongers\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>O come, all ye mongers,\u003cbr>Tired yet still patient,\u003cbr>O eat ye, O e-eat ye some Mo-on-tegrappa\u003cbr>Come taste our Poacher, pair it with a Chardonnay\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it,\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>Brie de Meaux.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Slice, wires of mongers, \u003cbr>Slice in quick rotation;\u003cbr>Slice all the Fougerous of heaven above:\u003cbr>Fourme of Ambert, Fourme is the priciest\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it,\u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>O come, let us pre-cut it, \u003cbr>Brie de Meaux\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Here We Come A-Mongering\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Here we come a-mongering among the cheese and cream\u003cbr>Here we come a-wiring so fair to be seen. \u003cbr>Brie and chevre wrapped for you.\u003cbr>And to you glad Gruyere too.\u003cbr>And Gouda bless you and send you a stinky New Year. \u003cbr>And Gouda send you a stinky New Year.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I told my mother about them and when I got to \"roquefort and joy,\" she could only groan, \"Oh, \u003ci>Steph\u003c/i>-ie, that's awful!\" She also didn't think our family friend and \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/programs/2007/03/10/music.shtml\">opera star Janis Hardy\u003c/a>\u003c/b> could be induced to sing them the next time she makes an appearance on Garrison Keillor's \u003cb>\u003ca href=\"http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/\">\"A Prairie Home Companion.\"\u003c/a>\u003c/b> Oh, the world can be such a cruel, punless place!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger2-783294.jpg\">\u003cimg src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/cheesemonger2-779126.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"content": "\u003cp>I'm a white girl writing about the scariest foods I could find at \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, the Asian supermarket in Richmond. Prepare yourself: what follows is not politically correct.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But before we get into the nitty gritty, let me make myself clear: I think of myself as an equal opportunity eater, someone whose palate is endlessly expandable--I took on sushi at age 20 and haven't since met a piece of unagi I didn't like, and kimchee and I became fast friends in my thirties. And as for what other people eat, well, I tell myself that given the opportunity to develop a taste for it, I'm sure I too would develop a hankering for buffalo placenta soup when it's in season, as do a few of my Thai friends, or the crunch and instant protein fix of deep fried bugs, as does a British friend of mine who has lived in southeast Asia for twenty years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I'm conscious that my distaste for unfamiliar food is a luxury, in part the birthmark of someone who has grown up in a society that can afford to throw away guts and organs, tongues, ears and snouts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The irrational wincing of the tongue, the squinching of the brow when faced with threatening food must surely be conquerable. In the context of food, \"scary\" is just another word for \"unfamiliar.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/ranch99-764905.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/ranch99-762333.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I've long been a fan of \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/99-Ranch-Market-%E5%A4%A7%E8%8F%AF%E8%B6%85%E7%B4%9A%E5%B8%82%E5%A0%B4/138408084829\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, purveyor of fine pea shoots, crustaceans, galangal, kecap manis (a thick Indonesian soy sauce), and pastel-colored rice flour pastries that I grew so fond of when I lived in Thailand, and I delight in even seeing the packaging for \"chicken paws\" (feet), \"free run chicken\" and Confucious Family Liquor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this visit, the Sunday before Halloween, I was shopping differently: I was on a hunt for the six scariest food items I could find. And dammit, I was going to face my fears and eat them. And so was my friend Tristan who was visiting, who brought with him his usual penchant for talking about disgusting things he'd eaten and how disgusting the gas was that they gave him. We thought we were sooooooo sturdy. Nothing could possibly be as disgusting as our worst imaginings made them, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, dear reader, here you are, in reverse order, the top six scariest foods to be had at \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, including reasons for deeming them scary and taste-based assessments:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 6: Vermont Curry\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/vermontcurry300-709261.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/vermontcurry300-706677.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> As a native Vermonter, I've long wondered about the absurd pairing of the words \"Vermont\" and \"curry\" every time I see this ubiquitous item in an Asian market. But I've been willing to keep an open mind about it given that Vermont is actually known for some surprisingly tasty weird combinations, like the tuna sandwiches dipped in egg, fried like French toast, and topped with maple syrup, that I scarfed up as a child. So it made it into my shopping basket in the spirit of supporting Vermont quirkiness in all its permutations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> Vermont Curry surprised me by emerging from the box in dung-colored blocks, sort of like a large chocolate bar. I broke off a few and tossed them in with carrots and onions, as directed by the package. After I cooked it, I let it cool for a few minutes, and a dark brown sludge had gathered across the top--far thicker and more ominous looking than the skin the develops on hot Jello chocolate pudding. (\"It's okay,\" Tristan said with hope in his voice, \"My mom's gravy does that, too.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But by the time Tristan and I sampled the pleasures of Vermont Curry, I was already in high gag mode from a few other items listed below. My tongue was contorted in anguish, and poor Vermont Curry got the short end of the stick. Were I offered a plate of Vermont Curry under different circumstances--like after release from a concentration camp or tempted with the reward of a million dollars--I would eat it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 5: Smoked Veggie Goose\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/veggiegoose300-756148.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/veggiegoose300-751633.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> I found this in the deli section, and while it did look a bit like goose, complete with goose-pimpled skin, it looked like goose that had spent a few centuries in a catacomb and then been rehydrated with pond water.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> One would think that mere wheat and soy sauce pattied to resemble meat would be innocent of culinary crime. Tristan noted, \"It's a shame when you recreate meat you have to include the skin\" and then took a bite. Then I took a bite. After a few minutes of debate, we arrived at an apt description: smoked veggie goose tasted like rotten chalk with a hint of imported barnyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 4: Fried Gluten with Peanuts in Soy Sauce\u003c/strong>, from Taiwan\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> There's nothing in the name to indicate that this would be offensive (aside from the word gluten), but a mere glance at the scrambled-egg like globs floating in dishwater-colored salt water with peanuts that looked like they'd suffered from elephantiasis was enough to earn them a place in my shopping basket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> Like Vermont Curry, fried gluten with peanuts in soy sauce was a victim of lineup--the smell of Scariest Food Number 1 (keep reading, you're almost there) was wafting through the kitchen, and had the gluten been chunks of perfectly ripe honeydew decked with proscuitto, I probably would have gagged. I took a bite, gagged, and staggered toward the garbage, only to remember that that was exactly where Scariest Food Number 1 was lurking, so my gag volcanoed into a hefty spit into my palm. I closed my eyes and tossed the gluten in the direction of the garbage pail and Scariest Food Number 1.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poor little gluten. It probably isn't so bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 3: Pig Ears in Soy Sauce\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/pigears200-776646.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/pigears200-774305.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> Like the smoked veggie goose, I found pig ears in the deli aisle, but thinly sliced and looking quite harmless in a clear plastic deli container. \"It could be brown chewy ginger/soy/wine-infused coleslaw,\" I thought. I've eaten cracklings, and I love scrapple and hot dogs, both of which surely have fragments of pig ear. Dogs highly recommend pig ears. Maybe I'm missing something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tristan tried it first. \"I just thought about what it is,\" he said as a swallow turned into a gulp and look around for grapefruit soda. A slice of pig ear--I looked for a bite that looked like it was more meat than cartilage--made it into my gullet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I discovered there's a reason I don't like dogs. Dogs like pig ears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 2: Preserved mudfish fish sauce\u003c/strong>, from Vietnam.\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/mudfish300-721130.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/mudfish300-718981.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> I'm a fan of fish sauce in general--a tablespoon or two adds a lovely piquant je ne sais quoi to spaghetti sauce, and of course it's a staple in sanitized western-style Thai and Vietnamese cuisine. But this, with its tightly packed filets of clearly aptly named mudfish, intrigued me. In comparison, it made the pigs ears look like a pulled pork sandwich from Everett and Jones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> We opened the jar to be mystified by a plastic strainer installed on top of the fish. At first I thought that it might be so that cooks would use the liquid that drained from the fish, not the fish itself. But no, that didn't make sense because only about a tablespoon of liquid dribbled out, and the jar said it contained a whopping 22 servings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I pried off the plastic strainer, holding my face as far away as possible for fear of flying fermented fish juice. I stuck a fork in and pried up one filet and took a sniff. This was beyond piquant: was this mudfish fermented in a public toilet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Please don't make me eat this,\" Tristan pleaded. \"I don't want to be yacking up mudfish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mudfish is where we both drew the line. They say smell is an integral part of taste, in which case both of us were surely off the hook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 1 Scariest Food to be had at Ranch 99:\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/uterus300-745113.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/uterus300-740733.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Pig's Uterus.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> Pig's uterus faced some stiff competition from the pre-packaged meat section from the likes of black-skinned chickens with the heads on, pork bung (intestine), pork snout, pork brain, and liquid or solid pork blood, but if my mission was to find the scariest items I could find in \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/Default.asp\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, pig's uterus could hardly be overlooked. It lay pinky grey behind the shiny plastic wrap, and I was drawn by its uneven, scalloped, might I even say Baroque tubes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> I looked on line for pigs uterus recipes, to no avail, so I decided that maybe stir frying it, with oyster sauce, might work. The oil heated in the wok and I peered at the package. The oil just started to smoke, and I plunged my fingers into the pink labyrinth and dumped it in the oil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it began to cook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it began to smell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Jesus Christ, there is NO WAY, I'm tasting that,\" Tristan shouted. The smell got worse, perhaps mixing with eau de fermented mudfish. \"It smells just the way a cooked [uterus] probably should smell,\" he cried above the hiss of the oil and the mass of sizzling pink-grey tubes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was already unspoken that the uterus was going to bypass oyster sauce and go directly into the trash. I dumped it in and thought, good God, I'm taking that trash out this instant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I stupidly waited, thinking I'd wait until the end of this dreadful experiment. And before long, Elizabeth, one of my two cats, was sniffing with determination around the garbage. Bear in mind that she has never shown any interest thus far in either the garbage or anything other than kibble, but apparently pig uterus lightly seared in peanut oil was enough to drive her wild. I slapped her away and went to enjoy the tangy splash of a beer and an escape from the stench in a better-ventilated living room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then I heard a rustle from the kitchen and slid back my chair to see Geraldine, my other cat--who has also never been interested in garbage or anything other than kibble--lapping delicately at a chunky string of uterus she'd lugged out of the garbage onto the linoleum.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll tell you I have never, ever been so happy to take out the garbage, an everything-must-go excursion that won't even spare the not-so-scary things. It's all ruined, contaminated by association with pig uterus and my own defeat--a girl who likes tuna sandwiches fried with maple syrup on top, foie gras, uni, and lima beans but isn't necessarily an open-minded eater.\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>I'm a white girl writing about the scariest foods I could find at \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, the Asian supermarket in Richmond. Prepare yourself: what follows is not politically correct.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But before we get into the nitty gritty, let me make myself clear: I think of myself as an equal opportunity eater, someone whose palate is endlessly expandable--I took on sushi at age 20 and haven't since met a piece of unagi I didn't like, and kimchee and I became fast friends in my thirties. And as for what other people eat, well, I tell myself that given the opportunity to develop a taste for it, I'm sure I too would develop a hankering for buffalo placenta soup when it's in season, as do a few of my Thai friends, or the crunch and instant protein fix of deep fried bugs, as does a British friend of mine who has lived in southeast Asia for twenty years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I'm conscious that my distaste for unfamiliar food is a luxury, in part the birthmark of someone who has grown up in a society that can afford to throw away guts and organs, tongues, ears and snouts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The irrational wincing of the tongue, the squinching of the brow when faced with threatening food must surely be conquerable. In the context of food, \"scary\" is just another word for \"unfamiliar.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/ranch99-764905.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/ranch99-762333.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I've long been a fan of \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/pages/99-Ranch-Market-%E5%A4%A7%E8%8F%AF%E8%B6%85%E7%B4%9A%E5%B8%82%E5%A0%B4/138408084829\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, purveyor of fine pea shoots, crustaceans, galangal, kecap manis (a thick Indonesian soy sauce), and pastel-colored rice flour pastries that I grew so fond of when I lived in Thailand, and I delight in even seeing the packaging for \"chicken paws\" (feet), \"free run chicken\" and Confucious Family Liquor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this visit, the Sunday before Halloween, I was shopping differently: I was on a hunt for the six scariest food items I could find. And dammit, I was going to face my fears and eat them. And so was my friend Tristan who was visiting, who brought with him his usual penchant for talking about disgusting things he'd eaten and how disgusting the gas was that they gave him. We thought we were sooooooo sturdy. Nothing could possibly be as disgusting as our worst imaginings made them, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And so, dear reader, here you are, in reverse order, the top six scariest foods to be had at \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, including reasons for deeming them scary and taste-based assessments:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 6: Vermont Curry\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/vermontcurry300-709261.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/vermontcurry300-706677.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> As a native Vermonter, I've long wondered about the absurd pairing of the words \"Vermont\" and \"curry\" every time I see this ubiquitous item in an Asian market. But I've been willing to keep an open mind about it given that Vermont is actually known for some surprisingly tasty weird combinations, like the tuna sandwiches dipped in egg, fried like French toast, and topped with maple syrup, that I scarfed up as a child. So it made it into my shopping basket in the spirit of supporting Vermont quirkiness in all its permutations.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> Vermont Curry surprised me by emerging from the box in dung-colored blocks, sort of like a large chocolate bar. I broke off a few and tossed them in with carrots and onions, as directed by the package. After I cooked it, I let it cool for a few minutes, and a dark brown sludge had gathered across the top--far thicker and more ominous looking than the skin the develops on hot Jello chocolate pudding. (\"It's okay,\" Tristan said with hope in his voice, \"My mom's gravy does that, too.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But by the time Tristan and I sampled the pleasures of Vermont Curry, I was already in high gag mode from a few other items listed below. My tongue was contorted in anguish, and poor Vermont Curry got the short end of the stick. Were I offered a plate of Vermont Curry under different circumstances--like after release from a concentration camp or tempted with the reward of a million dollars--I would eat it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 5: Smoked Veggie Goose\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/veggiegoose300-756148.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/veggiegoose300-751633.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> I found this in the deli section, and while it did look a bit like goose, complete with goose-pimpled skin, it looked like goose that had spent a few centuries in a catacomb and then been rehydrated with pond water.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> One would think that mere wheat and soy sauce pattied to resemble meat would be innocent of culinary crime. Tristan noted, \"It's a shame when you recreate meat you have to include the skin\" and then took a bite. Then I took a bite. After a few minutes of debate, we arrived at an apt description: smoked veggie goose tasted like rotten chalk with a hint of imported barnyard.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 4: Fried Gluten with Peanuts in Soy Sauce\u003c/strong>, from Taiwan\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> There's nothing in the name to indicate that this would be offensive (aside from the word gluten), but a mere glance at the scrambled-egg like globs floating in dishwater-colored salt water with peanuts that looked like they'd suffered from elephantiasis was enough to earn them a place in my shopping basket.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> Like Vermont Curry, fried gluten with peanuts in soy sauce was a victim of lineup--the smell of Scariest Food Number 1 (keep reading, you're almost there) was wafting through the kitchen, and had the gluten been chunks of perfectly ripe honeydew decked with proscuitto, I probably would have gagged. I took a bite, gagged, and staggered toward the garbage, only to remember that that was exactly where Scariest Food Number 1 was lurking, so my gag volcanoed into a hefty spit into my palm. I closed my eyes and tossed the gluten in the direction of the garbage pail and Scariest Food Number 1.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Poor little gluten. It probably isn't so bad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 3: Pig Ears in Soy Sauce\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/pigears200-776646.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/pigears200-774305.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> Like the smoked veggie goose, I found pig ears in the deli aisle, but thinly sliced and looking quite harmless in a clear plastic deli container. \"It could be brown chewy ginger/soy/wine-infused coleslaw,\" I thought. I've eaten cracklings, and I love scrapple and hot dogs, both of which surely have fragments of pig ear. Dogs highly recommend pig ears. Maybe I'm missing something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tristan tried it first. \"I just thought about what it is,\" he said as a swallow turned into a gulp and look around for grapefruit soda. A slice of pig ear--I looked for a bite that looked like it was more meat than cartilage--made it into my gullet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I discovered there's a reason I don't like dogs. Dogs like pig ears.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 2: Preserved mudfish fish sauce\u003c/strong>, from Vietnam.\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/mudfish300-721130.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/mudfish300-718981.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> I'm a fan of fish sauce in general--a tablespoon or two adds a lovely piquant je ne sais quoi to spaghetti sauce, and of course it's a staple in sanitized western-style Thai and Vietnamese cuisine. But this, with its tightly packed filets of clearly aptly named mudfish, intrigued me. In comparison, it made the pigs ears look like a pulled pork sandwich from Everett and Jones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> We opened the jar to be mystified by a plastic strainer installed on top of the fish. At first I thought that it might be so that cooks would use the liquid that drained from the fish, not the fish itself. But no, that didn't make sense because only about a tablespoon of liquid dribbled out, and the jar said it contained a whopping 22 servings.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I pried off the plastic strainer, holding my face as far away as possible for fear of flying fermented fish juice. I stuck a fork in and pried up one filet and took a sniff. This was beyond piquant: was this mudfish fermented in a public toilet?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Please don't make me eat this,\" Tristan pleaded. \"I don't want to be yacking up mudfish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And mudfish is where we both drew the line. They say smell is an integral part of taste, in which case both of us were surely off the hook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And now...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Number 1 Scariest Food to be had at Ranch 99:\u003c/strong>\u003cbr>\u003ca href=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/uterus300-745113.jpg\">\u003cimg alt=\"\" src=\"http://www.kqed.org/weblog/food/uploaded_images/uterus300-740733.jpg\" border=\"0\">\u003c/a>\u003cbr>\u003cstrong>Pig's Uterus.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Reasoning:\u003c/strong> Pig's uterus faced some stiff competition from the pre-packaged meat section from the likes of black-skinned chickens with the heads on, pork bung (intestine), pork snout, pork brain, and liquid or solid pork blood, but if my mission was to find the scariest items I could find in \u003ca href=\"http://www.99ranch.com/Default.asp\">\u003cstrong>Ranch 99\u003c/strong>\u003c/a>, pig's uterus could hardly be overlooked. It lay pinky grey behind the shiny plastic wrap, and I was drawn by its uneven, scalloped, might I even say Baroque tubes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verdict:\u003c/strong> I looked on line for pigs uterus recipes, to no avail, so I decided that maybe stir frying it, with oyster sauce, might work. The oil heated in the wok and I peered at the package. The oil just started to smoke, and I plunged my fingers into the pink labyrinth and dumped it in the oil.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it began to cook.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it began to smell.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Jesus Christ, there is NO WAY, I'm tasting that,\" Tristan shouted. The smell got worse, perhaps mixing with eau de fermented mudfish. \"It smells just the way a cooked [uterus] probably should smell,\" he cried above the hiss of the oil and the mass of sizzling pink-grey tubes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It was already unspoken that the uterus was going to bypass oyster sauce and go directly into the trash. I dumped it in and thought, good God, I'm taking that trash out this instant.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I stupidly waited, thinking I'd wait until the end of this dreadful experiment. And before long, Elizabeth, one of my two cats, was sniffing with determination around the garbage. Bear in mind that she has never shown any interest thus far in either the garbage or anything other than kibble, but apparently pig uterus lightly seared in peanut oil was enough to drive her wild. I slapped her away and went to enjoy the tangy splash of a beer and an escape from the stench in a better-ventilated living room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then I heard a rustle from the kitchen and slid back my chair to see Geraldine, my other cat--who has also never been interested in garbage or anything other than kibble--lapping delicately at a chunky string of uterus she'd lugged out of the garbage onto the linoleum.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'll tell you I have never, ever been so happy to take out the garbage, an everything-must-go excursion that won't even spare the not-so-scary things. It's all ruined, contaminated by association with pig uterus and my own defeat--a girl who likes tuna sandwiches fried with maple syrup on top, foie gras, uni, and lima beans but isn't necessarily an open-minded eater.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>",
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"info": "What kind of no sabo word is Hyphenación? For us, it’s about living within a hyphenation. Like being a third-gen Mexican-American from the Texas border now living that Bay Area Chicano life. Like Xorje! Each week we bring together a couple of hyphenated Latinos to talk all about personal life choices: family, careers, relationships, belonging … everything is on the table. ",
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"info": "The Political Mind of Jerry Brown brings listeners the wisdom of the former Governor, Mayor, and presidential candidate. Scott Shafer interviewed Brown for more than 40 hours, covering the former governor's life and half-century in the political game – and Brown has some lessons he'd like to share. ",
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"info": "Our flagship program, helmed by Kai Ryssdal, examines what the day in money delivered, through stories, conversations, newsworthy numbers and more. Updated Monday through Friday at about 3:30 p.m. PT.",
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"mindshift": {
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"info": "The MindShift podcast explores the innovations in education that are shaping how kids learn. Hosts Ki Sung and Katrina Schwartz introduce listeners to educators, researchers, parents and students who are developing effective ways to improve how kids learn. We cover topics like how fed-up administrators are developing surprising tactics to deal with classroom disruptions; how listening to podcasts are helping kids develop reading skills; the consequences of overparenting; and why interdisciplinary learning can engage students on all ends of the traditional achievement spectrum. This podcast is part of the MindShift education site, a division of KQED News. KQED is an NPR/PBS member station based in San Francisco. You can also visit the MindShift website for episodes and supplemental blog posts or tweet us \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/MindShiftKQED\">@MindShiftKQED\u003c/a> or visit us at \u003ca href=\"/mindshift\">MindShift.KQED.org\u003c/a>",
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"order": 12
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"info": "\u003cem>Morning Edition\u003c/em> takes listeners around the country and the world with multi-faceted stories and commentaries every weekday. Hosts Steve Inskeep, David Greene and Rachel Martin bring you the latest breaking news and features to prepare you for the day.",
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"onourwatch": {
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"tagline": "Deeply-reported investigative journalism",
"info": "For decades, the process for how police police themselves has been inconsistent – if not opaque. In some states, like California, these proceedings were completely hidden. After a new police transparency law unsealed scores of internal affairs files, our reporters set out to examine these cases and the shadow world of police discipline. On Our Watch brings listeners into the rooms where officers are questioned and witnesses are interrogated to find out who this system is really protecting. Is it the officers, or the public they've sworn to serve?",
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"info": "Our weekly podcast explores how the media 'sausage' is made, casts an incisive eye on fluctuations in the marketplace of ideas, and examines threats to the freedom of information and expression in America and abroad. For one hour a week, the show tries to lift the veil from the process of \"making media,\" especially news media, because it's through that lens that we see the world and the world sees us",
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"perspectives": {
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"order": 14
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"info": "The economy explained. Imagine you could call up a friend and say, Meet me at the bar and tell me what's going on with the economy. Now imagine that's actually a fun evening.",
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"title": "Political Breakdown",
"tagline": "Politics from a personal perspective",
"info": "Political Breakdown is a new series that explores the political intersection of California and the nation. Each week hosts Scott Shafer and Marisa Lagos are joined with a new special guest to unpack politics -- with personality — and offer an insider’s glimpse at how politics happens.",
"airtime": "THU 6:30pm-7pm",
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"possible": {
"id": "possible",
"title": "Possible",
"info": "Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.",
"airtime": "SUN 2pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
"officialWebsiteLink": "https://www.possible.fm/",
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"source": "Possible"
},
"link": "/radio/program/possible",
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},
"pri-the-world": {
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"title": "PRI's The World: Latest Edition",
"info": "Each weekday, host Marco Werman and his team of producers bring you the world's most interesting stories in an hour of radio that reminds us just how small our planet really is.",
"airtime": "MON-FRI 2pm-3pm",
"imageSrc": "https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-World-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg",
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},
"radiolab": {
"id": "radiolab",
"title": "Radiolab",
"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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},
"reveal": {
"id": "reveal",
"title": "Reveal",
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